Thăm Dò Tính Cách Người Đời 2

K i e u dang quan ao ( h i n h thitc ket can) dai
dien cho ca t i n h va h a m y t a m ly nhif the nao,
dxidi day chiing toi se p h a n t i c h ky cho ban doc.

Chu trong be

ngoai

\c veston vao t n t d n g hcJp p h i c h i n h thiJc,
cho ngifcfi khac cam giac ngay ngan. T r o n g cuoc

- Bo veston

song, ho t h i t d n g r a t chii t r o n g h i n h thitc, t i f duy

La loai ao quan dvfdc d u nhap t i f phiWng

Icha n h i i each an mac cua ho. N h i f n g t i n h t i n h

Tay. Do tao h i n h cua veston c6 diicfng net hoat
b a t va k f u loat,. ngiidi mac vao to ra t i l n h i e n ,
phong do, khoe dep. Ngay nay, veston la le phuc
t h o n g d u n g m a n g t i e u chuan quoc te, n e u ai
mac veston nhif t h i l d n g phuc, se c6 h a m y t a m
l y n h i t sau :
Tii minh cho la hem ngilcd
V i bo veston la ao quan c h i n h thong va ddn
g i a n , gii3 difdc phong do k h i the. Cho nen, neu

hdi m e m yeu, k h o n g quen xa giao.
Scf suat

Ngrfc?i mac veston khong do n h u cau, cung
khong v i thoai m a i , thifdng mac m o t each t u y
tien, ho t h i f d n g c6 t i n h each sd suat, l a m ban
vdi ho chang t h i i v i chut nao. V i ho thifdng mac
ke s i i t o n t a i cua b a n , l a m theo y t h i c h m i n h .

- Jacket

mac veston nhvi thiicfng phuc, khong chiu thao

Jacket de mac, c\i dong thoai m a i , c6 the

bo ca v a t d u cl t r i i d n g hdp nao, se la ngifdi m a n g

che day cho k h o n g "my m a n " t r e n t h a n h i n h ,

t a m l y t i f cho m i n h hdn ngifcfi khac, va t i m moi

khong m a n g m a u sac nghe nghiep, cho nen difdc

each de hdn ngiidi ve m o i mat. Xi^ sif k h a c6

moi ngvfdi y e u t h i c h . H a m y t a m l y ciia ngifdi

chap.

thich mac Jacket n h i i sau :

Tinli

tinh hoat

bdt

Tinh

hba

dong

Mac veston ma k h o n g t h a t ca v a t , neu khong

Ho t h i f d n g hoat bat, k h o n g ken chon quan

CO t h o i quen luom t h u p m , t h i chac chan la ngifcJi

^ 0 , t h i c h n h a t la mac Jacket - giao d u vdi ho

boat bat, t h i c h giiip dd ke khac, diWc l a m ban

khong can qua n g h i e m n g h i , ho t h i c h ban chuyen

\di ho t h a t v u i ve.

thoai m a i .

106

107

Theo duoi sit thodi mdi
Ho thich ca sii thoai mai ve an mac cung
nhif trong cuoc song. Ho thifcJng c6 site khoe
tot.
Dau 6c linh hoat
Da so ho CO dau 6c linh hoat, khong nhiJng
khong thii cilu, ma con luon c6 dau 6c tan tien.
Neu jacket diidc mac tren minh ngifcJi Idn tuoi,
y nghia tren c^ng ro ret.
TU do tan man
Tit tin manh me, c6 tinh than tich cifc vvfcfn
len. Nhifng da so la ngiicJi t\i do tan man.
- Do Jean
La trang phuc viicJt khoi khuon kho gi6i tinh,
tii6i tac, tang Idp va nghe nghiep. Ham y dac
tnfng tinh each nhii sau :
Tit tin
Be ngoai dtfcJng nhit bay to sif hoa dong vdi
dam dong, thifc ra ho muon thong qua each an
mac du khac v6i than phan, v i n tiem an mot
16ng tif tin manh. Khi ho da quyet dinh, thi
kho c6 t h i sufa d6i.
108

Site life sung man
Tuoi tre thich do Jean, thiicJng c6 site life
gung man, hieu dong thich tranh dua, xi^ svf
thieu muc dich chinh xac, thiidng hi tam trang
chi phoi.

- Ao pull
Ao pull la trang phue miia hh khoiig phan
biet gidi tinh, tuoi tac, tang 16p, nghe nghiep...
Nhieu ngildi rat thich mac ao pull, tinh each
ciia ho ra sao ?
Thieu tap trung
Ho thiicfng to ra thieu tap trung trong viec
xa giao, va thich ke le viec cua minh. Thong
thitcJng, ho CO tai an n6i. Muon hieu ho, ban
can c6 thai do chan thanh.
Khd ndng cong viec manh.
Ho thitcfng c6 hieu suat cong viec cao, nhvtng
thiicJng vi thieu tap trung nen d§ lam phat long
mot so ngifcfi.
- Quan dai
Quan la trang phue phan than dif6i. La
thil^ng phue thi khong c6 gi dang n6i. Nhvfng
109


neu cac c6 mac no vao miia he ma khong chon
jupe, ham y nhvi sau :
Hani muon diiac bieu hien

Ho la ke manh trong cuoc song, mu6n nhd
"each lap di" d i bay to sif khac biet v6i ngiicJi
ta. Ho thiicJng kho tinh, vi luon cao hdn ngifcJi
khac, khong chiu tiep thu y kien.
Che day ban than

Co mot s6 chi em vi khuyet diem tren than
i h k (nhil bap ve qua to, long nhieu...) muon nhd
quan dai d i che day. Dong thdi ho muon giau
kfn the gidi noi tam. Hp tuy d6 ihig xi5 nhifng
thifdng khong chiu boc 16 tam sif vdi ngiidi khac.
- Ca vat
Ca vat la do trang site cho c6 ao khi mac
veston, bat nguon tit chau Au. Cach that ca vat,
sii phoi mau vdi ao sd mi, c6 nhieu ham y tam
ly khac nhau :
Long dq hep hoi

Neu ho tif that ciic ca vat qua nho v^ qua
chat, cho thay ho d6 sinh nghi ngcJ, c6 cam giac
CO doc, keo kiet, c6 mac cam nang ne.
Giau tinh cam
110

Neu ca vat tif that r6ng va to, cho thay ho
|i£lu tinh cam, thich giao tiep. An phan thii
"thitdng, \h phep. La ngvfdi tif tin.
Sieng ndng

Neu til that ca vat vita phai, cho thay ho la
ngifcJi sieng nang can man.
Chi CO Icti ich tril&c mat

Ngifdi mac ao sd mi trang, that c^ vat mau
xanh nifdc bien dam, cho ngifdi ta cam giac
phong do. Neu con tre la ngifdi tiJng trai ; neu

1^ nha doanh nghiep, hay coi chiing ho c6 khuynh
hitdng chi ham Idi tritdc mat.
2. M a u sac t r a n g phuc v a h a m y t d m l y :

Mau sac la nhan to quan trong tao nen an
tiftfng cho trang phuc, hinh thanh my cam trong
mat doi phiWng. Trildc khi di vao phan tich cu
the moi quan he giila mau sac va tam ly, tinh
each, tnMc bet xin gidi thieu mot so quan he
giila cam giac mau sac, tinh cam v^ sii tiWng
trifng ciia mau sac.
Cam giac mau sac, chi sil cam nhan thi giac,
tam ly, tinh than doi vdi mau sac. Chu yeu gom
4 loai :


(

M o t la cam n h a n cai nong

cai l a n h : m a n

x a n h diidng, xanh la cay cho t a lien tilcing t d i
ban trcJi va bien ca, tao nen cam giac l a n h , goi
la m a n l a n h . M a n do, cam, vang d l lien tifclng
tdi m a t trcJi va luEa do, tao nen cam giac nong,
goi l a m a n a m . M a n xanh la cay va t i m lien
tiicing t d i thifc v a t , hoa..., la m a n t r u n g t i n h .

^vfcJc thay doi t i i y theo s i i khac n h a u ciia d a t

jxiidc, k h u vifc d a n toe, v a n hoa. Nhif 5 T r u n g
Quoc, m a u do cho cam giac soi noi, t i i d n g t r i l n g
cho s i l v u i mvfng ; m a u v a n g cho cam giac d i u
d^ng, tifdng t r i f n g cho h y vong ; m a u t i m cho
cam giac nho n h a , tifdng t n l n g cao quy ; m a n
den cho cam gidc n g h i e m tiic t i i d n g t r i f n g t r a n g

H a i l a cam giac nang nhe : m a n c6 do sang

trong ; m a u t r a n g cam giac sach se, tifdng t r i l n g

cao tao cam giac nhe, m a n c6 do sang f t tao

sil t r o n g t r a n g ; m a u v a n g a n h , bac a n h cho

cam giac nang. Cho nen, quan, jupe nen c6 m a n

cam giac hoa le, t i l d n g t r i l n g cao qui...

d a m hdn ao, de giilf s i i t r a n g trong, viJng chac.
Ba la cam giac tien l u i va gian n i t : m a u
sang, do t h u a n cao va m a u a m tao cam giac
t i e n , t r o n g do m a u t r a n g m a n h n h a t ; m a u c6

- M a u do

N h i i n g ngilSi thfch t r a n g phuc m a u do, h ^ m
y t a m l y n h i l sau :

do sang, do t h u a n thap va m a u l a n h tao cam

giac l u i v a co r i i t , t r o n g do m ^ u den m a n h nhat.
Bon 1^ do citng m e m : m ^ u c6 do sdng va
do t h u a n t r u n g b i n h tao cam giac m e m m a i , on
h6a ; m a u c6 do sang thap va do t h u a n cao
hoac t h a p , tao cam giac ciing coi, nghiem tiic.
T i n h cam va sif tifdng t n f n g cua m ^ u sac
chi n h i i n g cam t i n h difdc nay sinh do m a u sac,
va y nghia dac t n f n g ma ngifcfi t a d a t cho tvfng
loai m^u. T i n h cam va y nghia tifdng t n i n g do

112

Wn

ong xdo kien

citcfng

Ho l a ke m a n h t r o n g cuoc song, t h i c h the

thao, t i l de cao. D i l l a m viec g i deu v d i t i n h
than xong xao v ^ k i e n cilcfng.
2c

quan

T h o n g thiicfng n g i l d i t h i c h m a u do g i ^ u t i n h
liic, h i e u t h a n g , k h o n g hep h 6 i trong cong viec
Cling nhif t r o n g cuoc song. T i n h cam hoc 16 r a
ngoai.

Nhiet tinh
Dan ong thich mau do, thifdng la ngifdi thii
vi. Ho giao tiep rong, nhifng doi khi qua phong
tiing. Ho la ngifdi nhiet tinh va rat manh dan.
Than kinh suy nhilcfc
i t nhieu c6 chiit than kinh suy nhifdc d6i
vdi nhiJng ngifdi thifdng mac mau do, mong
mifdn mau nong choi hoc lu!a c6 the bu dap cho
sii thieu sot nao do ciia minh.
- Mau do tim
Thieu binh tinh
Ho thifdng khong the nhin thang ban than
mot each khach quan va binh tinh, de thoa man,
cung de that vong, thifcfng i t kien t r i cho mot
viec.
Til cao til dqi
D^n ong thich mau t i m thiidng t i i cao i\i
dai. Ho nhiet tinh, nhiing gioi che giau, rat
nhanh nhay, tham tram, kin dao.
Kho

hieu

Loai ngitdi nay thifdng kho hieu, kho yeu
ngitcJi khac. Doi khi ho khong gian, nhifng to
114

ra tram uat. Neu gap phai chuyen dau thifdng,

rat kho giai bay cho vcJi n6i niem.
- Mau hiicTng (hong)
Cii chi nho

nha

Dan ba thich m^u hifdng, thifdng c6 cxi chi
^ h o nha, t i n h tinh cdi mcf, hay giiip ngifcJi khac,
CO giao due.
Mang tani ly tre trung
^ Da so ho la nhiJng c6 gai dep, nen thifcfng
tam ly tre trung.
Tinh cam te nhi
Ngifdi thich mau hifcfng c6 ea tinh diu dang,
giau long bao dung thifdng ngifcli.
- Mau

cam

Tinh tinh hoqt bat
Ho thifcfng chon mau cam k h i khong the
song CO doc, ho giau tinh hai hifdc.
Hung bien ccfi met
Ho thifcfng gioi an noi, thich bien luan vdi
ngifcJi khac, nhifng dieu nay khong he can trd
sit cif xilf on hoa vdi moi ngifdi.
115


Thich

xu

- Mau trang

ninh

Day la m a u k h o n g k h u y e t diem. H a m y nhif

La ngilcJi lac quan, t h i c h ket ban, n h i f n g ho

sau :

l a i t h i c h x u n i n h hcfn. Ho nhiet t i n h vdi ban
m d i quen, n h i l n g khong bao l a u l a i chuyen sang
b a n mdi khac.

>

KS theo chu

Men

tue. Ho chon m a u v^ng v i m u o n bieu hien ban
t h a n luon c6 t a m hon cao t h i i d n g .

Ho t h i i d n g de phong ngiiSi khac, khong
giao tiep.

Co. tinh ngay

nghia

thitc te

thang

thay ho c6 ca t i n h hon nhien ngay t h a n g .

hiem

•

quyet

Co mot so ngifdi v i k h o n g biet nen chon m a u

quyet doan k h i x i i l y v a n de.

ho l a i mong chiem difcJc n h i e u cam t i n h ciia

^ • | | G m u kin ban

ngifdi khac.

•T^
tac

Ho t h i f d n g CO ly tifclng cao xa, t h i c h cau toan,
cam t i n h i t hoc 16. N h i f n g t h i c h nghien ci!u

nhiJng v a n de k i e u sijfng t r a u .

doan

nao m d i chon lay m a n t r a n g , n o i len ho t h i e u

t r a n g . N e u la n i f , t h i k h o n g thao xa giao. N h i f n g

116

cam,

T u y CO ngifcJi k h o n g doi hoi gi k h i chon m a u ,

Thieu

chui vao cho be

liet

p h a m c h i i v d i cong viec m o t each can m i n .

Ho k h o n g sd kho k h a n , khong thoa m a n hien

Thich

manh

nhifng neu ho t h i c h m a u t r a n g n h i e u hdn, cho

gidc

Giau tinh than mqo

tinh cam

thieu quyet doan, va t h i e u t i n h thiic te.

N h f i n g ngii^i t h i c h m a u VElng thiicJng c6 t r i

Canh

Thieu

Ho thifcJng k e m phong p h i i ve t i n h

- Mau vang
Til bieu

Jft

than

K h o n g m u o n hoc 16 suy n g h i noi t a m v d i
ngifdi khac. Qui tac song la d§ dai v d i i n i n h ,

I p d i a t khe v d i ngildi khac. Ho t u y l a m ra ve
t h u a n hoa, n h i t n g noi t a m lu6n chita difng y
jhia phan k h a n g .
117

- Mau xanh niidc bien

"

jiiang tinh pho bien.

Chi cong vd til
La ngifdi d§ c\i xii, ho kioii chi cong v6 tif,
la ngifdi trung thanh vdi cong viec, ho c6 the
lam rat lau tai mot sd lam, gianh diWc thien
cam ciia ban dong nghiep. Nhilng do thieu site
phan dau viWn len, nen kho dat tdi chitc vu
cao.
Cuoc song dam

bac

Ho khong muon pha vd thoi quen song binh
thifcfng ciia minh. Ho cung thich ban luan ve
ke khac, hoac tdi quan rifdu gan do ciing pha
tro vdi ban be.
3. H a m y t d m l y q u a \6\i :

Ngon ngit la phiWng tien chii yen cho giao
tiep giifa ngitcfi va ngiicfi. Tim h i i u vdi nhau
bang ngon ngil phai tuan theo nhitng quy tac
nhat dinh. Va nhitng quy tac do thong thifcJng
la sif an y bat thanh van. Qui tac tro chuyen

cl nhvlng ndi mang tinh xa hoi, van hoa, doan
the, nghe nghiep khac nhau, se c6 sif khong
118

giong nhau. Nhifng, cung c6 mot so quy tac
Vi du : Khi mot ben noi, t h i ben kia phai
lang nghe ; khong nen lam gian doan cau chuyen
^6i phiWng ; chi c6 mot ngifcJi noi trong mot
thcfi gian nhat dinh ; khi mot ngifdi muon noi,
phai chd ngifdi khac noi xong ; phai chu y dung
ttf nho nha...
Khi hieu nhau qua ngon ngfl, can ci? nhu
cau cua noi dung va t i n h huong, doi ben can
tuan theo mot so qui tac dac t h u , v i du : K h i
van dong vien cci quoc te gidi thieu kien thifc
mon cd vdi ngifdi ngoai cuoc, nen tranh si5 dung
qua nhieu tif thuat ngii, ma nen dung ngon ngfl
thong dung hdn.
Tim hieu qua ngon ngi3 c6 tdc dung dac biet
trong giao tiep, ma cac hinh thiic t i m hieu khac
kho thay t h I . Vi thong qua sii t i m hieu sau sac
toan dien, c6 th§ biet diWc tam ly, dao ditc, tinh
each, kha nang va sii t u diidng cua doi phifdng.
I

- "Chao ban"

1

Dau 6c tinh tdo

W Thich dung cau chao hoi nay, la ngifdi c6
dau 6c tinh tao, sieng nang can m i n , nghiem
119


tuc, t h a m chi c6 c h i i t bao t h i i . Thong thvfdng,

noi. NgifcJi t h i c h dung " t o i " thvfdng xuyen

ho c6 the k i e m che t i n h cam ban t h a n , khong

ham y t a m ly n h i l sau :

to r a k i n h ngac ve nhUng chuyen nho trong
cong viec va cuoc song. Ho t h i i d n g dildc ban be
t i n nhiem.

- "Hello !"

«

Harn muon tit biiu

c6

hien

Gia s\i d6i phitdng luon mieng nhac t d i chrf
"toi" t r o n g m o i cau n o i , n h i t "toi cho rang...",

||pt6i cam thay...", "toi n g h i t h i . . . " v.v t u y la t h o i

Vui tiicfi hoqt

bat

T h i c h chao ngifdi khac bang cau "Hello", cho
t h a y t i n h each ho v u i tvfdi boat bdt, t i n h liic

quen ngon ngU, n h i t n g thvfc chat m u o n gay an
tvfdng sau n d i ke khac. Be m a t ho to ra r a t t i i
t i n , t h i l c ra t r o n g long r a t yeu mem.

sung tiic, ngay thang, giau t i n h sang tao, dau

Cam gidc an toan trong hien thitc cuoc

6c n h a n h nhay, c6 t i n h h ^ i hifdc b ^ m sinh. Ho

Day la t a m ly dildc h i n h t h a n h d t h d i t h d

mong m u o n dvfdc ngiicli ta ngif3ng mo, dong thcJi
l a i c h i u nghe y k i e n khac nhau.

c&

Giong nho nhe : To ra n h i e t t i n h , gianh diidc
t h i e n cam \di ngifcfi khac, nhvfng do ca t i n h e
t h e n , nen khong dam d i t h e m mot bifdc. Thong

thiiclng hp e then mac cd, da sku da cam. Giong
n h a n : L a i to ra trong long dang biic boi.

- 'Toi"
Day la dai t i t n h a n m a n h sii tif y thitc, qua
t a n so ST3 d u n g c6 the n h i n t h a y t a m ly ngiicfi
120

au, (c6) cau be m u o n xoa d i srf bat an k h i b i
uy hiep, thtfcfng dat m i n h la t r u n g t a m , ba me
1^ ngilcJi cho be cam giac an toan. De gay stf

- "Nay"
E then mac

song

chii y ciia me, be n h d lay tvt "toi". Cho nen, c6
mot so ngiicJi l u o n lap l a i tH " t o i " de g i a n h lay
cam giac an toan, dan dan, h i n h t h a i y thitc do
se chon sau vao ngon ngiJ t r o n g cuoc song h i e n
thitc.

I

Khang

dinh sit ton tqi cua

minh

Ngitdi 16n t h i t d n g noi " t o i " t r o n g cuoc song,
ong dem t i n h cam xa hoa, t i t p h u cua m i n h

i r u y e n d a t t d i doi phitdng, de doi phitdng xac
d i n h sit t o n t a i ciia ho. C h i c6 n h i t vay, ho m d i
121


CO cam giac an toan. Khi cif xi3 wdi loai ngifcJi
nay, difng bao gid bo quen sit hien hilfu cua ho,
vi ho CO trai t i m nhay cam, bat ky ni chi cua
ban deu ban sau An tifdng ndi ho.
,

- "Chiing toi"

"Chiing toi" la dai tijf nhan xvfng bao goni
ca ban than minh. Ngitdi chong diing tit "chiing
toi" CO ham y tam ly nhif sau :
Thieu cd tinh
La ngifcfi song lang le, thuoc loai an phan
va theo duoi ngifdi khac.
S(f bi ton

Khi noi litng chitng, chiing toi thich dung
nhitng than tit, lien tit dai loai nhit "it", "cai
nky'\i kia"... de noi tiep cac Idi ngat quang.
jsjeii s\i dung cac tit noi tren thitcJng xuyen, c6
h^ni y tam ly nhit sau :

Go bo va chiu site ep
Khi CO bet siic tap trung siiy nghi, Idi noi
tit nhien bi gian doan. Day la do tam trang
hoac tit dung qua cang thang ma ra. De noi lai
cac cau rcJi rac, tat yen phai can tdi cac tit tren.

thit(Mg

Co ngitdi thich dung tvi "chiing toi" vi sd qua
noi bat de chiu sit ton thitdng. Ho noi "chiing
toi" ma ham y la "toi", lam nhif vay nham cit
xi^ cho linh boat, tit bieu hien vifa phai.
Noi gan tinh

cam

Co ngitdi thich dung t i i "chiing toi" dh that
chat quan he giita hai ben, nhat la khi ngitdi
CO dia vi thap noi vdi ke khac c6 dia vi cao hdn,
muon cho ngitcJi khac mot cam giac lam titSng,
de ngifcJi nghe c6 cam giac than mat.
122

- " l / " , "cai nay"

Kiem che tam trang bat

an

Thong thitdng, trong so nhitng ngitdi siif dung

tit ngit tren, da so dang trong tam trang bat
an vi nhieu viec phitc tap, kho khan chita the
giai quyet.
Ij

Thieu til tin

W Co ngitdi k h i de xuat y kieii va chii tntdng,
sd khong ditdc thong qua, nen nhd tdi cac tit
tren dg lien ket Idi noi. Cac tit do thitdng ditdc
^p dung k h i noi hoac khi doi thoai.
123


Thong cam do lUOng

Doi khi, doi phiWng thifcfng noi "if", "hilt"...
khi ban thao thao vdi ho, diing tiidng do la sit
tan dong, that ra nhieu liic chi la mot le phep
xa giao, hoac thong cam do liidng vdi ban.
- Noi k i l u "Chuon chuon dap nirfdc"
Titc la noi qua loa v^i cau, vdi nhilfng de tai
xa giao, binh thiidng nhat. Ham y nhif sau :
Khong dinh noi tiep

Cach tro chuyen nhii V£iy, tuy khong lien
quan tdi chuyen rieng ca nhan, cung khong c6
y nghia Idn lao. Neu doi phildng khong phai Ian
dau gap ban, ma lai c6 each noi qua loa nhif
kieu "chuon chuon dap nilcic", thi dieu do noi

len han khong dinh tro chuyen tiep vdi ban.
- Noi "trang giang dai hai"
Thiicfng chi di sau van de khi doi ben tim
diWc scf thich chung.
To ve thich thu

Neu doi phifdng eo phan hoi khi nghe can
noi trang giang dai hai ciia ban, cho thay hp
mong ban sau vdi ban ve van de do, dong thdi
noi len doi phiftfng thich thii ban.

- Thich ke chuyen cu
Co so ngifdi thich ke lai nhiing cau chuyen
da qua. Ham y tam ly thildng la :
Tani ly trong rong

Neu nhif ho titng la ke thanh cong trong
cuoc song va sif nghiep, ho cit chon nhiJng chu
de hoi i!c va nhd nhung, cho thay hien nay dang
of tam trang trong rdng, day chi la mot each t i l
an ui khi luon bat man vdi hien thiic cuoc song.
Den bil tam trang that y

Neu ho khong phai ke thanh cong triidc kia,
chon cau chuyen v6 vi nhif vay, cho thay ho
dang lam vao hoan canh khong thich ilng. Ho
mong qua cau chuyen xiia ma quen di thiie te,
de han gan that y trong long.
- Noi thao thao bat tuyet
Co ngiidi noi thao thao bat tuyet trong khi

xa giao. Ham y nhif sau :
Kem ndng litc trong thilc te

Ho chi noi gioi ngoai mieng, kha nang cong
vice rat xoang. Dae tning tinh each ciia ho la
noi nhieu lam it, gioi thoai thac trdch nhiem.

124

125


N6i thao thao chi de che day sxi kem coi thife

chuyen tot xau ban than, khong he giau giem

te.

gii thieu sot ciia minh, ham y tarn ly nhif sau :

- V u n g ve it noi
NhiTng ngifcJi khong kheo noi, chita chac la
ke bat tai. ThitcJng thi c6 nhitng kha nang nhif
sau :
Kheo thong

cam

Ho tuyet doi khong an noi de khien d6i
phitdng kho xi3.

Ngay thang
Ho thiidng CO ditc tinh IcJi noi di doi vdi viec
lam. C a tinh thang than.
Co nang litc
Ho CO nang life cong viec manh.
Ddng tin cay
Ho lam viec dang hoang c6 ke hoach, la
ngifdi dang tin cay.

- Noi xau, noi tot
Neu nhflng ai thich noi xau, noi tot ngiicJi
khac cho thay ho la ngifdi thich "dam bi thoc
choc bi gao". Nhilng neu ngiic/i do noi luon

Mang muc dich icri Idc
Ho khong phai la ngifcJi thanh thiic ngay
thang, vi each vach ao cho ngifdi khac xem lifng
cua hp thifdng mang muc dich dem lai Idi Ipc.
De thay long doi dci
Ho thifdng thieu kien nhan, de thay long
;6i da, hdn nila long da hep h6i, thifcJng trcf
mat vdi ban chi vi chuyen con con. K h i xa giao
n coi chiJng thai do chan tinh cua loai ngifcfi

- H i ha
Nhflng ai du bi noi ve van de gi, deu doi
pho bang thai do hi ha, dil khi hi phe binh hoac
SI nhuc, v I n xi^ sil vdi thai do c6 ve v6 til. H a m
y nhil sau :
Gian xao

Neu nhil ho khong phai mat day thi chac la
ke gian xao.
127


Bac nghia bac tinh

Loai ngrlcJi nay tuyet doi khong the la ngifcJi
lanh dao, eon mot kha nang khac, ho la ke bac
tinh bac nghia, phai coi ehijfng hanh dong lat
long.
- Khoe khoang

Dae diem de nhan 1^ ho thtfdng noi khoac
lac, to ve oai ve
Ham muon vat chat phu hoa

Day la loai tieu nhan ehinh cong, ho thildng
rat ham muon hiicfng thu vat chat, nhiing lai
thieu tinh than trach nhiem. Neu l^m viec diidi
tnfdng cua ho, ehd nen qua noi bat, vi ho khong
muon thuoe cap gioi hcfn hp.
- B a phai

IChi giao tiep, tuy ta c6 the qua Idi n6i ma
tim hieu noi tam doi phifdng, nhvf tfnh chan,
that ciia Idi noi doi phvfdng nhif the nao ? Nhat
1^ nhflng cau ba phai ciia ho, nen phan tich ra
sao ? Nhfing cau ba phai, thildng tiicfng tning
h^m ^ nhvf sau :

128

Khong tien noi ro

t

"Toi nghe ngifcfi khac kl..." That ra, ngifdi
khac do chinh la ngvfdi noi, vi han khong tien
n6i ro suy nghi cua minh nen mildn "ngiidi khac"
dl noi.
"Tuy anh ay noi c6 ly, nhifng toi khong tan
th^nh...", that ra han dang rat tan thanh.
Trong qua trinh tim hieu nhau, neu khong
phan tich ky cau noi ba phai tren, thi kho 16ng
nhan biet y nghia muc dich thiic sii ciia doi
phifcfng.
- Noi quanh v a n de " t i n h due"

Co ngiidi thich noi nhu!ng chuyen lien quan
tdi "tinh due" triidc dam dong, con mot so n^ildi
khac lai rat ngai noi tdi van de do ndi cong
c6ng, phai nhin hai loai ngiidi tren nhil the
nao ?
Che giau sU mac cam

Neu ban mot each cong khai, chi vi muon
miWn nhflng Idi tho tuc kia che giau sii mac
cam tren phiWng dien "tinh due" ciia minh. Co
s6 ngifdi to ve khong lia ban tdi chuyen "tinh
due" th^c ra ho kha quan tam van de d6. Thong

129


thifcfng, nhttng ngifcJi c6 hoc khong chiu b^n
cong khai, nen da lai can chuyen sang sii viec
khac.
Nghi va noi trdi v&i nhau
NhiJng ngildi dan ong ngoai mieng noi rang
"trinh tiet la chuyen 16i thdi", that ra khong
dung nhvf ho nghi, cang noi cao giong ve van
de do, cang cho biet trong long ho rat mong ban
gai gifl diidc trinh tiet.
- L d i k i n h trong

La nhtJng l(Ji to ve kinh trong, le phep. Trong
xa giao, c6 the can ci! so lifdng Idi noi kinh
trong, ma doan biet dia vi xa hoi ngiJdi do.
Thong thifcJng, nhiing tang Idp tren vi trinh
do van hoa cao, quen dung IcJi noi kinh trong,
con tang Idp thap vi hoc thiJc han che, nen quen
dung IcJi que mua hdn.
Nhrfng ngifcfi c6 tinh each phuc tiing, thiidng
d^ng Idi le do noi theo kieu bi dong, theo duoi
khong suy xet. NgifcJi c6 tinh each quyen liic
thi it dung Idi 1^ do hdn.
Nhving ngifdi hanh nghe thiicfng nghiep, dich
vu, vi muon d\idc long doi phildng, diidc vu lam
130

^,1^ nen diing rat nhieu IcJi ll do. Ham y cu the

jihii sau :
Tdc dung che giau
Co ngildi vi muon che day hanh vi cong kich
ciia minh, da khcli dong tam ly phan tac dung,
to ra khiem nhitc/ng cung kinh v6 ciing, si^ dung
qua nhieu Idi noi kinh men, khi ay ho thifc sil
mang ham muon tan cong manh liet. Lcfi noi
kinh ne ngo^i mieng cua ho khien ban kho
chiu...
Nay sinh trb ngai
Thifc ra, khi moi quan he chifa 5 mitc than
mat hoac giao tiep vdi nhiJng doi titdng khong
quan trong, thi le ra khong can tdi Idi kinh
men. Neu doi phtfdng dot nhien sii dung Idi
kinh ne khi ban quen than vdi han, c6 nghia
1^ giita hai ngifdi da phat sinh van de trCI ngai.
Lam tang khodng each tam ly
Khi tro chuyen neu v6 y siS dung tdi Idi kinh
men c6 thg khing dinh doi ben da nay sinh
khoang each tam ly.


Khinh

miet vd canh

gidc

K h i gidi niT svi dung qua n h i e u Icfi k i n h men
vdi gidi n a m , tuyet doi khong phai v i to ve ton

k i n h , ma la phan itng bai xich k i c h het.
Ngoi

cao nhin

xuong

Co mot so ngifdi quen n h a u da l a u , t i m hien
k h a sau, neu nhrf khong c6 x u n g dot ve t a m ly,
dot nhien si^ d u n g Idi k i n h men, nghia la muon
pha vd tuyen canh giac t r o n g long doi phifdng,
n h a m khong che

doi phifdng, th^c hien ifdc

nguyen ap dao.

-- Tieng tan th&i
C h i t h i t ngon ngiJ t h i i d n g d i i n g difdc quan
c h i i n g yen t h i c h p h i i hdp vdi phong trao xa hoi
t h d i do. T h i ! ngon ngi? do thifdng phat am gian
ddn, de silt dung.

Chqy

h a m y t a m ly nhif sau :
Cam gidc hctn ngitcfi

NhiJng ngifdi d i dau si5 d u n g tieng t a n thdi
se CO cam giac hdn h a n vdi nhi3ng ke chifa biet

va chifa silf dung.

132

mo-den

Ho thifdng t h i c h chay theo mo-den, t h i e u
ghu k i 4 n , chupng mo-den m o t each m i l quang.
Tinh

phuc

tung khiep

nhitcfc

Tuy ho sii d u n g n h i e u trt ngCf m d i nhif mot
tht! h a n h v i ngon n g i l , n h i f n g ve m a t t a m l y ,
lai la mot sif phuc t i l n g khiep nhifdc doi vdi
phong trao xa hoi va uy quyen.

- Tieng ngoai lai
N h i f n g t i e n g noi difdc hap t h u t i f ngon ngfl
ngoai l a i . A i t h i c h sii d u n g no vao t r i f d n g hdp
xa giao, thifdng c6 h a m y t a m ly nhif sau :
Chqy

theo

mo-den

Cho r a n g m i n h biet t i e n g nifdc ngoai ma to
ra difdng difdng t i f dac, c6 t a m l y vong ngoai.
Ham

N h i f n g ngifdi t h i c h d i i n g tieng t a n thdi c6

theo

muon

hitcmg

thu

K h i ho silt d u n g so Idn t i e n g ngoai l a i , m u o n
nhd do ap dao doi phifdng, de cao ban t h a n .
Che giau

mac

cam

Vifa g i l l cam giac hdn ngifdi, vijfa de che day '.
s^l mac cam ban t h a n .

133


- Tieng dia phtfdng

t
Tieng dia phiWng khac vdi tieng tieu chuan,
chi CO the si5 dung trong nipt khu vitc.
J

Tinh each khep kin

Neu hp CO the noi tieng chuan ma lai chpn
noi tieng dia phiWng trong khi xa giao, c6 the
khang dinh tinh each hp la kieu khep k i n , c6
theo duoi nen van hoa truyen thong, t i i de nen.
Gay sU chu y
Muon lam noi bat, gay stf chii y cua mpi ngiicJi
- Tieng long
Tieng long la tieng noi ciia nhflng nhoni
bang dang, liiu nianh, trpm cildp. Hien nay con
dung de chi nhiing tieng dac thu giiJa nhiJng
ngiicfi cung trang Ma. Nhiing ngifdi noi tieng
long trong t n l ^ n g hdp xa giao c6 ham y tarn ly
nhii sau :
Nay sink y thitc hcfn ngilcfi nao do
Du ngiidi CO than phaii ra sao, neu si5 dung
tieng long, deu xuat phat tit y thi!c muon hcfn
ngilcfi. Dac biet khi ngifcJi khac khong nam diidc
y nghia that ciia tieng long, rat nong long muon
l ^ m ro, se gay cho ngifcJi noi khoai chi.
134

Mau sac bi an va hieu qua uy hiep

t -

K h i si3 dung tieng long, se tao cho doi phvtong
c6 cam giac : Chac ban c6 quan he vdi bang xa
h6i den. Sif md ho ve than phan ngiidi noi, se
khien hp nh\i diWc phii len mot mau sac bi an.
Neu vi the ma khien doi phiidng hoang sd, t h i
s\i uy hiep gian tiep ciia han c6 hieu qua.
Tung hoa

nm

Phan t i i tpi pham sii dung tieng long nham
che day hanh vi xau xa ciia ban than, de ngiidi
khac khojig hieu diidc y hp noi, dat tdi hieu qua
tung hoa mu, che day dpng cd v^ muc dich that
sii ciia minh.
I ' f

Sil bH dap ve tarn ly

'TP!

of

^fl

i

Ngiidi noi tieng long muon diing no de diing

len bite tildng tam ly cho minh, de ngiidi ngoai
khong t h i h i i u diWc bi mat ciia hp. V i hp thildng
1^ ke pha hoai xa hoi, khong dildc xa hoi chap
nhan. Hp chi c6 t h i dila vao "the gidi tieng
long" ciia minh, d i thifc hien sil ton tai "hdp
phap" ciia hp. Day chinh la sil bii dap ve tam
1^ ciia nhving ke noi tieng long.
135


Tang phan than quen ua tin cay
Vi ho si5 dung thv? t i l n g chi Ivfu hanh trong
"tang Idp" cua ho, thong qua do h i l t difdc than
phan, tiJc la thuoc cung mot cong dong, nen
tang miic than quen va t i n cay.
- Tieng tho tuc
C6 nhilng ngildi thich t u tap nhau t ^ n g l u
bang thvL tieng tho tuc. Nhat la canh dan ong,
cho rang chi k h i nao noi diWc bang tieng tho
tuc mdi CO k h i khai nam nhi. Tarn 1^ cua ho ra
sao ?
Bed ham muon chila diiac thoa man
Nhflng ke thich noi tuc, thiidng mang tarn
1^ lo lang bat an, nhifng lai khong c6 each giai
bay, lau ngay tich t u lai nen phai t i m cd hoi
t n i t bau tam sii.
Tham do phan i2ng doi philcfng
Co ngifdi CO tinh noi tuc trifdc ngiicfi khac
phdi, nham tham do phan i!ng doi phifdng. Ho
CO tinh chon van de lien quan tdi gidi tinh va

tinh due, noi vdi phai m i trong tnicJng hdp khong
thich dang nhat, de theo doi sii mac cd e then
ciia ho.
136

Neu phia n i l do mat, lung tiing, tham chi
to ra hot hoang, ho se cam thay vui mitng ha
da-

f
Mong diMc cho ditng khd

hem

Co ngifdi CO tinh noi tuc, de nhich lai gan
nhau vdi doi phifdng ve tam ly, hoac mong c6
ch6 di?ng kha hdn.
Nham gay cam gidc lam

Idn

Co ngiidi cham diem mot c6 n^o do, c6 y noi
ra vai cau tho tuc dot ngot, nham gay cam giac
sai lam cho doi phifdng. Day la each de doi
phildng lam t i l i n g doi ben da bildc vao quan he
than mat.
- C a u noi hai hiidc
Cau noi hai hxidc viia t h i i vi vfia c6 y nghia
sau xa. K h i cuoc tro chuyen da gan het "hap
dan", nen kip thdi pha tr6 vai cau hai hvidc, se

mb ra mot hieu qua mdi. Hai hiidc khac vdi cau
chuyen ciidi, tuy khong de moi ngvidi ciidi to,
nhiing lai l ^ m nay nh sii mim ciidi y nhi. H ^ i
hiidc lai khac vdi cham choc, khong tao cang
thang, ma la giiip ngiidi nghe nhe nhom. No
bay to sii t i i t i n , thong minh, binh tinh cua
ngiidi noi, la sii b i i u hien ciia site manh t r i tiie
137


v a t i i i h t h a n . Co the noi, ngifdi a n noi h a i

hiidc

l a ngifdi t r i tiie, p h a n a n h dac t r i l n g t i n h each
v a CO mot so h a m y t a m ly n h i l s a u :

dung Idi noi c u a mot con ngildi.
C l i n g mot c a u noi, n e u t h e m V£lo ngon ngilf

T6 ve itu viet

p h u k h a e n h a u , se eo h a m y k h a e n h a u .

Doi liic la n h a m to ve ifu viet hcfn ngitcJi.
To ve tan

hieii Cling \d'\i noi, l a dvfdng day ly giai noi

cong

V i du k h i a i do noi c a u : " A n h l a m gi do ?",
n e u noi vdi giong b i n h thiicJng, cho t h a y ehi l a

L a mot e a c h noi t a n eong r a t tien Idi. L a

hoi t h a m doi phildng, k h o n g c6 h a m y k h a e ;

c a e h t a n eong a n toan, g i a n tiep v a i t n h i e u

n e u dvtng l a i s a u ehfi " a n h " mot lat, con " l a m

dildc x a hoi c h a p n h a n .

gi do" noi mot e a c h c h a m r a i , t h i c a u noi ro

Til

ve trade

r a n g da p h a s i l b a t m a n ; n e u noi n a n g chvl^

thitc tk

L a e a c h chong l a i svf d a u kho v ^ u y hiep
c u a cuoc song thitc te. M i m ciicfi tnfdc s i i uy
h i e p do, l a mot e a c h ne t r a n h h i e n thiic cuoc
song.

" a n h " , noi n h a n h c a u " l a m gi do" t h i h o a n toan

hoc 16 ro sif p h a n no c i i a doi phiidng.
N h i f n g CO d i e u k h o k h a n l a ngilcfi t a d l l a m
ro y n g h i a m a t chtf, nhifng l a i kho h i e u h e t y

4 . H d m y t d m l y q u a g i o n g di§u :

n g h i a c i i a giong d i e u hoac moi ngifcfi h i e u theo

G i o n g d i e u c h i a m d i e u , toe do, giong cao

so ngifcJi, t h i stf dttng l a i do tiidng t n l n g cho

t h a p Idn nho, doan n g a t q u a n g k h i noi. V i d u :

viee " n h a n m a n h " , n h a m gay s i i c h i i y. N h i f n g

Thcf doc k h i noi, giong k h a n , giong to, ciicJi

doi vdi mot so ngildi k h a e , s i i dtfng c a u the h i e n

k h a n h k h a c h , noi ca l a m , noi p h a giong nO,

ro y n g h i a " k h o h g d d m k h a n g d i n h " . T o m l a i ,

mot each. X i n v i d u s i l diJng c a u , doi vdi mot

hoac t h i c h keo d a i chrt cuoi...
Doi k h i gom ca dong tac k h i noi nhif

n e u m u o n giai m a h a m y giong d i e u nao

gat

c a n p h a i difa vao h o a n c a n h tro c h u y e n v a thoi

d a u , scJ miii... T h o n g thifcfng, c^c ngon ngil phii

quen dac trifng ngon ngiJ c i i a doi phvfdng

do d e u m a n g y n g h i a n h a t d i n h , no difde x u a t

x e m xet.

138

do,
ma

139


Vay t h i doi vdi cac giong dieu cu the, c6
h ^ m y t a u i ly nhif t h i nao ?

; V - Toe do noi cham
Toe do noi CO quan he r a t Idn doi vdi t m h
eaeh ngifdi noi. V i d u : ngiicfi nong t i n h thifcJng
noi hdi n h a n h , ngifdi song noi t a m t h i f d n g noi
hdi eham. N h i f n g khong phai khong eo nhiJng
thay doi. T r o n g m o t so tntcJng hdp n h a t d i n h ,
toe do noi phan a n h t h a i dp ngiidi noi. Thong

thifcfng, toe dp noi eham c6 h a m y n h i i sau :
Tinh each vung ve it not
Hp t h i f d n g k e m t a i an noi, de che g i a u nhifdc

iiay eo the l a m te l i e t y ehi doi phifdng, che day
jiuic dieh eong k i c h eua m i n h .

- Toe do noi nhanh
Ngifdi noi n h a n h t h i f d n g nong t i n h , " n h a n h
mom n h a n h mieng". H a m y t a m ly nhif sau :
Gioi an noi
Ngifdi noi n h a n h l a m doi phifdng khong c6
thdi gian suy n g h i , k h i e n doi phifcfng ehuyen
hoa t i l duy m o t each k h o n g t i f giae.
Ho then trong long

diem t r e n , hp r a t i t k h i ehu dpng noi ehuyen,

N e u doi phifdng noi n h a n h hcfn b i n h thifdng,

k h i ean n o i , hp deu suy n g h i k y eang, de bay

se CO h a i k i e u h a m y : M o t la t r o n g long cam

to d u n g y k i e n eua m i n h . Toe dp noi eham giiip

thay ho t h e n v d i ban, t a n g toe dp noi de g i a m

hp d a n h l a i t h d i gian suy n g h i nhieu hcfn.

bdt ap life t a m l y . H a i la ban t h a n hp eo nhifde

Bat man trong long
Day la m o t phan iJng t a m ly khae thifdng.
neu doi phifcJng noi eham hdn b i n h thifdng, eho
t h a y hp dang bat m a n hoae t h u dieh vdi ban.
C h u n g ta thifdng phat hien sif viec sau t r o n g
eupe song thifdng ngay : h a i ngildi eai Ipn n h i f n g
k h o n g la Idn tieng, ma la t i f n g cau eham r a i ,
n h i f n g day m u i "thuoe sung", v i eaeh noi eham

140

diem nhif ehifa ehuan h i day d i i k h i d a m phan,
mong t a n g toe noi de choan het t h d i gian suy
nghi eiia doi phifdng.
Noi

doi

T r o n g m o t v ^ i t r i f d n g hdp n h a t d i n h , neu
nipt ngifdi noi n h a n h hcfn b i n h thvfdng, t h i eho
thay b a n dang noi doi, v i hp k h o n g mu6n de
lai cho doi phiftfng n g h i r a n g b a n dang "sap dat
141


Idi noi d o i " , mdi chon each noi n h a n h khac

Tarn trqng thieu on dinh

thifcJng.

K h i t a m ly bat m a n don nen b m o t mi?c do

Giong to Idn
K h i xa giao, can dieu ehinh am t h a n h eiia
m i n h t i l y luc, d l t r a n h l a m phien ngifcJi khac,

n^o do t h i p h l n u a t se hoc p h a t , noi bat n h a t
1^ bieu h i e n luc cuong bao, liic t r a m uat, V£l
luon nay s i n h mot each t u a n hoan.

do la each cii xi^ van hoa can p h a i l i l u y. N h i i n g ,

Thieu linh hoat

CO so ngilcJi t h i c h noi to t i e n g , xem nhxi ngifcJi

A n to noi Idn m o i luc, m o i n d i , ehi biet cif

khac deu la ke diec. Day la dac diem ciia ngifcJi
cdi m d hoat bat. H a m y t a m ly n h i i sau :

xilt vdi ngildi kh^c theo phong each xifa nay cua
m i n h . N e n ho i t c6 b a n be t a m giao.

Dau 6c dcfn gian

Co chap

NgiicJi noi to t r o n g Ian d a u t i e n gap m a t ,

N e u giong noi ngay t h i l d n g hdi b i n h t i n h ,

cho ngifdi khac cam giac ccli mcf. N h i i n g k h i
q u a n sat k y , loai ngifdi nay t h i e u t i n h cam te
n h i , d a u 6c hdi ddn gian. B i e u hien cu the la
k h o n g biet XTS ly n h i i n g quan he giao tiep phiic
t a p . A n tvfcJng t o t t r o n g Ian dau da h i m a t dan

dot n h i e n cat cao giong, liic do ban p h a i h i e u ,
ho dang m u o n k i e n t r i y k i e n , la m o t bieu h i e n
biidng b i n h . Doi k h i , s\i b i i u h i e n do b i ngildi
khac h i e u l a m la diia the h a m doa, l a m m a t d i
dieu k i e n tiep tue cau chuyen v d i doi phifdng.

v i b i i u h i e n ciia ho qua k e m , doi phitdng mat

- Noi nho nhe

t h i e n cam.

Ngifdi t h i c h noi nho nhe k h i giao tiep, ehac

Ngitcd thieu nhqy ben
Co dac trvfng ve h i n h the la map map, tho

chan la ngvfdi song noi t a m . H a m y va dac trvfng
tam ly n h i l sau :

n g a n , cam t i n h kha b i n h lang, phong do on

Mac cam nang

d i n h , cham chap. Ho t h i e u k h a nang t u y cd \tng

N e u giong qua nho, den noi nghe k h o n g ro,

bien.

142

tuy mot phan do ca t i n h , n h i t n g eung v6 t i n h

143


cho thay ho niang mac cam nang ne kho giai
bay. Nhat la khi noi chuyen vdi ngvfdi c6 dia
vi, hoc thitc, dieu kien kinh t& cao hdn minh,
bieu hien tren cang ro rang.
Thieu til tin
Khi bay to y kien vdi doi phiidng, vi thieu
t i i t i n ve noi dung d i l n dat ciia minh, nen ho
v6 tinh da ha thap giong, nay sinh cam giac y
lai, cau vien tdi ngifdi nghe.
Thieu chin chdn ve mat tarn ly
Ngifcfi CO thoi quen noi nho nhe, thtfcJng difdc
Idn len b^i sit cham soc an can ciia me. Hoi

nho, ngitcfi me chac chan la ngifcJi phat ngon
thay ho, nen k h i Idn len, ho mang theo hinh
thiic giao lifu me con vao xa hoi, tvf^ng rang
doi phitcJng ciing se nhii me de than hieu Idi
thi tham ciia minh, qua do dodn biet toan bo
noi dung tam svf. Day chinh la sii thieu chin
chan ve tam ly, nang tinh y lai cua ho.
Day ni7 tinh
Neu ngifdi do luon thich ha thap giong khi
noi, khong nhitng cho thay ho lam viec thieu
t\i t i n hoac c6 y lam ra ve bi an, ma con la
ngyidi day nd tinh.
144

- L e n bdng xuong tram
Giong noi len bong xuong tram c6 h^m f
tam ly va tfnh each ciia ngifcJi noi nhii sau :
Til boc 16
Neu khong phai do yen cau nghe nghiep
(nhii xiidng ngon vien, hildng dan chiidng trinh),
thi ngiidi c6 giong noi len bong xuong tram c6
ham muon manh t i i bieu hien, ho mong qua
c^ch noi tren de hoc 16 cA tinh, tai nang hcta
ngiicJi ciia minh.
Co lam ra ve hi an
Khi xa giao, neu doi phiicfng c6 tinh ra giong
len bong xuong tram, cho thay ho thfch lam bo,
mong diing no de tang cam giac bi &n ve minh.
- Gat dau
Trong t i n h hinh thong thiidng, gat dau to y

tdn dong, cho phep linh hoi... Nhiing ham y tam
1^ ciia viec gat dau lai rong nghia hdn. Neu ta
quan sdt ky cdch gat dau cua doi phiidng, se
hieu diidc nhflng ham nghia dac thii nhii sau :
To ve idng nghe
Vxia lang nghe vi5a ra site gat d^u, cho thay
ho dang cham chii lang nghe doi phildng noi va
145


khong muon lam gian doan can chuyen. Day
chinh la sit giai ly tai sao c6 liic ngilcJi noi khong
yen cku ngifcJi nghe cho biet y kien tan dong
hay phan doi ma ngitcJi nghe \kn c6 dong tac
gat dau.
Khong CO tieng noi chung
Co so ngdHi tuy gat dau khi nghe, nhilng
anh mat lai nhin sang phia khac, sil itng pho
Be ngo^i cho thay IcJi doi phildng khong difdc
ho hiidng i!ng.
Phu

hoa

Neu doi philcfng gat dau lia lia khi nghe
noi, to ra bo dang lang nghe chain chii.
diXng tilcJng han tan dong Idi ban. That ra,
khong bi hap d i n hh'i noi dung cau chuyen,
chi la sil phu hoa khong that long.

ban
Ban
han
day

Ngoan CO
C6n mot loai ngiicJi dac biet, ho vita n6i v^a
nghe, t^c la vita noi, vila phu hoa, va gat dau
lia lia. Day la t h ^ ngildi kho tinh trong xa giao,
vi ho khong the giao liiu vdi ngildi noi hoac
nghe, dong thcJi khong cho phep d6i phifdng
phan hAc. Ho rat ngoan c6, muon lam quen phai
gay cho ho sit chii y that manh.
146

- Dung tay che mieng k h i noi
Khi noi dilng tay che mieng, ngon cai bam
iren ma. Day la dong tac quen thuoc thitdng
iigay d l bat gap va la tif the noi binh thifcfng,
lai CO ham y tam ly khac thitdng nhit sau :
Noi

doi

NIU k h i noi doi phifdng chon tit the nhif
vay, phai nghi tdi kha nang han noi doi, v i
trong tiem thitc, bo 6c chi t h i han diing dong
tac che mieng h6ng chan lai Idi noi doi khoi
thoat ra ngoai mieng. Co the khang dinh, day
la tif the dac biet hoc 16 an y noi tam.

To ve bat

man

Co liic day con Ik tit the to ve bat man, bat
can. Muc dich cua doi phifdng 1^ nham ngan
chan khong cho tam ly bat man hoc 16 ra khoe
mieng, cho han c6 du cd hoi nghi ky noi dung
cau noi ciia ban, tim cau phan bac hoac tra Idi
doi pho k h i can.
- Dung tay s& mui k h i noi
To ra hoai nghi
Day cung 1^ mot t h i ! che giau tam trang
that ciia minh, nhif dong tac d^ng tay che mieng.
147


Khi ngifdi noi scJ mui, ham y lijfa gat, con ngifcJi
nghe sd mui, lai la to ve nghi ngd \di noi doi
phiWng.
5. Ham y tinh each qua but tich :

Biit tich 1^ n6t chi! rieng ciia m6i ngifdi, nhif
mot tam gifdng soi, tren mot mi!c do nao do
phan anh difdc tinh each doi phifdng. Thong
thvfdng, khi tam trang vui ve net chil dep de,
bay biidm ; tam trang buon rau, net chi3 can
ne; tam trang dau kho, net chrf ran roi... Nhin
ttf goc do tam ly, ngifdi c6 thi chat mat net chvf
thifdng lifu loat c6 siic, tuy dep nhifng thieii

khoe v^ mifdt mk ; ngifdi the chat man net chit
thanh tii, nhifng thieu site manh ; ngifdi the
chat nhdn net chii chmh te ngay ngan ; ngifdi
the chat phien muon thifdng c6 net chil la ddi.
- Net chi? i r o n

Ket can phan tren cua chfl tron tria khong
goc canh. Dac tnfng tinh each ngifdi viet nhif
sau :
Diu dang can than
Diing biit m^y viet chiJ tren giay khong 6
vuong, neu dau chii to va trdn, cho thay ngifdi
148

^5 CO tinh tinh tot : Ho diu dang can than, lam
^jgc thong dong khong hap tap.
- Net chi? nhon

Ket cau phan tren ciia chfl nhon va vuong
g6c. Ham y nhif sau :
Tinh tinh hoqt bat
Ho thifdng c6 tfnh boat bat, c6 tfnh chu
dong manh, va tfnh tif tin cao.
- C h i i nho

Chii viet nho li ti, cho cam giac chat choi.
Loai ngifdi nay c6 dac tnfng tinh each nhif sau :
Tinh kien nhan cao.
Ho thifdng CO site cham chii tot, chiu kien
nhin, eif xvL ti mi chat che. Ho c6 kha nang

thifclng thiJc tac pham van hoe. Thong thifdng,
ho CO thi nhin than ban chat sif viec thong qua
quan sat be mat.
- C h i ! to

Chi! viet qua to, cho ngifdi khae cam giac
long leo. Ham y nhif sau :


Nhiet tinh s6i nhi
Ho thifcJng la ngifcJi hoat bat, nhiet tinh,
khong cau ne. Ho c6 nhieu sd trifcJiig dac biet
nhiing tiec rang thieu thai do vifcfn len trong
cong viec, nen khong dh lap difdc thanh tich Idn.
- C h i l viet ngoay
ChiJ viet ngoay, cho ngifcJi khac cam giac
kho doc. Ham y tam ly nhii sau :
Tit do khong thich go bo
De xiic dong khi cii xvL, thifclng rdi vao hoan
canh kho khan do ban than gay nen. ChiJ kho
doc, phan anh sii thieu dong nao khi lam viec.
- Khoang each Idn
Khoang each giiia hai chU noi vdi nhau qua
16n, cho cam giac thifa thdt, ham y nhii sau:
Do lUcmg dung thi2
Loai ngvfcfi nay c6 tinh each do liWng, thich
giao tiep, v^ nhat la thich ket ban.
- Khoang each nho
Khoang each giiJa 2 chvi vdi nhau qua nho,
khep nhau qua chat, cho cam giac chat ehpi, c6

ham y nhif sau :
150

Co chap
Ho doi khi c6 bieu hien eo chap, khong thich
hdp vdi eifdng vi lanh dao.
- Viet manh qua
Khi viet diing qua nhieu site khien net chii
in qua mat sau giay. Dae t n i n g tinh each nhif
sau : .

Qua. til tin
Loai ngifcfi n^y t\i man va thich chi phoi y
chi ke khac. Qua t i i t i n trong viec xiS sii.
- Viet nhe qua
Viet chU qua nhe tay, nhifng net chiJ ro
rang. Dac tnfng tinh each nhii sau :
Thieu tdc phong quyet dodn
Ho la ngifdi khiem ton, nho nha, c6 kha
nang nhan biet manh doi vdi sii viec, nhiing vi
thieu tac phong quyet doan, nen kho c6 diidc
sii nhii y trong cuoc song.
- Ket cau chat che
NgiicJi viet ket cau tiing chiJ rat chat che,
cho cam giac day dac. Dae triing tinh each nhii
sau :
151


Trong

tien

cua

K h o n g d l l a m viec chung vdi ngifdi khac, hp
xem nang t i e n bac, vat chat.

- Ket cau thi/a rong
Cac k e t cau t r o n g mot chfl khong chat che,

Gi6i phdn

tick

Do la nhiJng ngitdi gioi phan t i c h sif viec,
hp khong bao gid xii sii theo cam t i n h . Biet
diliig ly t i n h chi phoi t i n h cam.
6. Tinh each cua ngirori nuoi sue v^t :

c6 cam giac thifa r6ng, dac t n f n g t i n h each nhif
sau :
Thick

d day k h o n g noi den ca t i n h cua
giao

tiep

T h i c h tiep xiic vdi ngiicfi khac, t h i c h k e t ban,

nhvfng

ngifdi nuoi sue v a t t r o n g n h ^ v i Idi ich t h i e t
thifc nhif cho g i i i n h a , meo b a t chuot... ma ehi
ban den t i n h each cua mot so ngifdi dam

me

xa giao, t f n h t i n h h6a dong, e6 t h i k e t giao lau

nuoi cho, nuoi m6o, nuoi c h i m long, ca

d^i vdi ban.

Da so hp deu b t r o n g t i n h t r a n g c6 ddn. Ho

- C h i l hijdng sang phai

muon v u i ciSa v u i nha, eo n a n g t i e n ca m i i a

Chi chi3 v i e t hifdng len goe phai. Dae t n f n g

theo duoi. N o i chung, ho m u o n keo dai va t r a i

t f n h each nhvf sau :
Tinh

tinh ccn nicf

Ho t h i i d n g n h i e t t i n h chi md, thfeh giiip
ngifdi khac giai quyet kho k h a n , nen quen r a t
n h i e u ban.

- Chi? hifdng sang trai
C h i i viet hifdng len goc t r a i , dac trvfng t i n h
each la :

152

chau...

may, c6 "a ho^n" m6o mdn t r d n , eo "no hoc" cho
rong cuoc ddi ciia ho theo cung each rieng.
H a m y t a m ly va t i n h each ciia ho difde bieu
hien qua v a t nuoi eu the.

- Cho
Cho la v a t nuoi if a chuong n h i e u n h a t . Ngifdi
thich nuoi cho c6 h a m y t a m ly n h i f sau :
Co tinh each le

thuoc

153


Ho thifcfng h a n h sii chieu theo y k i e n ngifcJi
khac. Y l a i , n h i f n g cung c6 k h a nang t h i c h ling
m a n h , da so t i n h t i n h ccli mcl hoat bat.

De cil xil u&i moi

ngilcfi

Ho t h i f d n g CO dac diem hoat bat, soi noi,
dong t h d i moi cam xiic trong long deu hoc 16 ra
ngoai net m a t va h a n h dong.

Cd tinh bop chop

yeu cau nghiem khac vdi m i n h , m ^ nghiem khac
ca vdi ngiicfi khac.

Dang song noi tani
Da so ngifcJi t h i c h n u o i meo deu song noi
tarn, t h i c h c6 doc, k h o n g boc 16 t i n h cam

ra

ngoai. K h o n g biet t i m h i e u t r a i t i m ngildi khac.

Tinh cdch dang phan biet
Be ngoai cho ngiidi khac an tiicJng kho gan

Be ngo^i t h i i d n g tao cho ngifdi khac an tvfdng

gui nhxi t h i e u ccli md, song noi t a m , l a n h n h a t ,

cdi mh, gon gang va giau t i n h ngifcfi. Da so ho

CO chap... T h 6 n g t h i l d n g , da so ho b dang t i n h

CO ca t i n h nong noi, bop chop.

each phan biet.

Diu dang thd long

- C a c con vat con l a i

P h u mJ t h i c h nuoi cho, t h i i d n g c6 dac diem

Ngoai meo va cho ra, m o t so ngilcJi con t h i c h

d i u dang, tha long.

- Meo
Meo la con vat nhay cam, te n h i , doc lap.
Ngifdi t h i c h nuoi meo cung c6 t i n h t i n h hdi
giong v a t nuoi nay.

Khd bitcfng binh

nu6i ca, chim... N h i n t6ng the, ho c6 dac t r i f n g
t a m ly la :

Khong kheo giao tiep
T h 6 n g thiicJng, ho c6 t r a i t i m yeu t h i i d n g con
vat nu6i. Ho cam n h a n difdc the gidi ban t h a n
k h i nu6i n h i i n g con vat nay. Ho k h 6 n g t h i c h

t h i i ve quan he xa giao giiia ngiicfi V£i ngifdi.

Ngilcfi t h i c h nuoi meo khong chiu le thupc

Ho kh6ng kheo giao tiep, t h i f d n g c h i m d a m t r o n g

ai ca, kha bifdng b i n h . Ho thrfa n h a n nhan each

t i n h thitong doi v d i con v a t m i n h nu6i de l a n g

vdi n h a u , c6 t i n h doc lap m a n h , khong n h i i n g

quen sif dcJi.

154

155