WRITING IELTS HAY MỚI

WRITING IELTS HAY!
Topic: In the last decade, there has been a great increase in the number and variety of online courses available to
adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see these
courses as less effective than classroom teaching.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?
Sample answer
In recent years, distance teaching and learning has become increasingly popular among the students and this is
perceived differently by learners. Many students perceive this as a beneficial aid in learning while others think that they
are not as much effective as classroom teaching. This essay will discuss about the merits and demerits of distant
learning.
Studying an online course provides a flexible timing and less budgeted learning for students. They are able to learn
their desire course and subjects on their suitable time. This gives a great opportunity for learners to gain new skills and
strengthen their knowledge level staying in their own place. For instance, a Nepali student who wants an Australian
degree in business management course does not have to stay in Australia, he can study online and complete course
staying at his home. Hence, distant learning is economic and time saving.
However, online courses give more emphasis on the theoretical part of learning and there is less teacher and student
interaction. It lacks the practical aspects of learning and encourage the passive learning. This is very obvious that
students find it as a less effective learning than in the classroom. A recent study suggests that a greater number of
students found classroom teaching far more effective than the distance learning.
In conclusion, the ever growing availability of online learning has gained its popularity among the young adults for
many years, which is perceived as beneficial by many people while others find it to be less effective. The emphasis can
be given to its effectiveness to establish it as the most cost effective learning than the classroom teaching.
(Written by Susa Dhakal)

Corrected Essay:

In recent years, distance teaching and learning has become increasingly popular among the students, and this trend is
perceived differently by learners. Many students perceive this it as a beneficial aid an improvement in
learning techniques, while others think that they are it is not as much effective as classroom teaching learning. This
essay will discuss about the merits and demerits of distant learning.
•

There is no need to start your essay with a general present time expression like “in recent years”, especially if
you have used the present perfect progressive tense.


•

In the first sentence, since you use the word “has”, you can only write “distance learning” (singular), not
“distance teaching and learning” (plural).

•

You only mention students in the first sentence, so talking about “teaching” is inappropriate. If you had
mentioned both the teachers and students, then “distance teaching and learning” would have been a fine
approach.

•

“And this is perceived differently by learners.” It is unclear whether “this” could be interpreted as which object.
This kind of mistake is called “unclear antecedent”, and I suggest you write more clearly.

•

Generally, English speakers do not say “beneficial aid”. And it is usually used as “financial assistance”, rather
than “improvement”

•

Remember to put a comma before a subordinate conjunction (“and”), or a relative pronoun (“which”).

•

“to discuss” does not go with a preposition.

•

The last sentence in this introduction is decent. The author has written a concise thesis statement. He also
does not state his own opinion, which is good since it isn’t required by the topic question.

•

Good use of lexical resource here: “distance learning”, “classroom teaching”.

Studying in an online course provides a flexible timing schedule and less budgeted expense learning for the students.
They are able to learn their desire desired course and subjects on their suitable time. This gives a great opportunity for
learners to gain new skills and strengthen accumulate their knowledge level, while still staying in their own place. For
instance, a Nepali student who wants an Australian degree in business management course does not have to stay in
Australia, because he can study online and complete course by staying at his home. Hence, distant learning
is economic economically efficient and time saving time-saving.
•

“Timing” as a noun is only used as “a particular moment”, not “a schedule”. On the other hand, the verb “to
time” can be used as “to plan a schedule”.

•

You should learn more synonyms of “schedule”. You are showing your weak point in Lexical Resources here.

•

The correct collocation here is “to accumulate knowledge”, not “to strengthen knowledge”.

•

Don’t forget the hyphen in the word “time-saving”

•

Forget to use prepositions and/or articles will make it hard to you to get above 7 in Grammatical Range &
Accuracy.

•

While the author has written a good topic sentence, his idea and evidence are kinda repetitive in this
paragraph.


However, online courses give more emphasis on the theoretical part of learning and there is less teacher and
student teacher-student interaction. It lacks the practical aspects of learning and encourage encourages the passive
learning. This is very obvious that As a result, students find it as a less effective learning method than that of in the
classroom. A recent study suggests that a greater number of students found classroom teaching far more effective than
the distance learning teaching.
•

Good coherence. The second body paragraph is used solely to support the notion of classroom learning, while
the first one is for e-learning. And the paragraph structure is decent.

•

Avoid using phrase like “a recent study”. Which study is the author referring to? It is impossible to get

reference in the IELTS exam.

•

There are many grammar mistakes throughout the whole essay.

•

Good lexical resource: teacher-student interaction, practical aspects of learning, passive learning.

In conclusion, the ever growing availability of online learning has gained its popularity among the young adults for
many years, which is perceived as beneficial by many people while others find it to be less effective. The emphasis can
be given to its effectiveness to establish it as the most a more cost effective cost-effective learning method than the
classroom teaching.
•

The last sentence is very wordy and ungrammatical. In addition, it is not a good conclusion, due to the fact that
the author does not mention the idea of teacher-student interaction. If the author only supports the argument
for e-learning, then it looks like he is giving his own opinion - which isn’t required. Stay faithful to your ideas
and evidences.

•

“more than”, not “most than”.

Words: 271

Overall: 7.0