How to fly like a gentleman

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How to Fly Like a Gentleman
by Brett & Kate McKay on November 21, 2012 · 91 comments
in A Man's Life, On Et iquett e
You stretch out your legs, take a look out the window to check the view at 31,000 feet, and
then place the book you were reading on the empty seat next to you. An att ractive, smiling
stewardess leans over, lays down a cloth napkin and silverware, and asks which of the three
available hot entrees you’d like for your meal. She quickly returns and sets down the dinnerware
in front of you. As you dig into your delicious food, you can hear the sounds of music coming
from the piano bar at the front of the plane…
….THUNK! With a kick to your seat from the toddler behind you, you awaken from your
daydream to find yourself wedged between a large, unbathed man in a tank top and a teenager
blasting music on his headphones so loud you can hear every word of the lyrics of his favorite
heavy metal band. The flight attendant hands you a plast ic cup of soda, along with a tiny bag
of pretzels, and quickly moves on.
Air travel. It certainly isn’t the same as it was during its “golden age” several decades ago. It’s
even gone downhill from how it was just 15 years ago, when flights weren’t always full, you
didn’t have to pay to check a bag, and you could make a mad dash to the gate to finally
confess your feelings for a lover right before she got on the plane. (Not as dramatic to
confront them in the security line, is it?)
Sure, t he Golden Age of Air Travel had its own drawbacks. Less f lights, not as safe, and, a
whole lot more expensive. The drop in ticket prices since the days when Pan Am ruled the skies
has been a boon f or the man of modest means who still want s to see the world (or, just his
family a few states away for the holidays).
On the flip side, t he democratization of flight has turned it into something that has to be
endured, rather than enjoyed. When you’re being herded through security and made to wait an
hour and a half on the t armac, it’s easy to feel more like a head of cattle than a traveling
gentleman.
But a gentleman always does what he must do, and regardless of the circumstances, makes
things as pleasant and smooth as possible for those around him – friends and strangers alike.

Through gestures big and small, he shows a respect for the needs of others and an awareness
of how his behavior affects them. He knows his example encourages others to follow suit, and
that the more individuals who choose to adopt common-sense manners, the more enjoyable
life becomes for all. A small sacrifice in the present ends up benefitting not only ot her people,
but himself as well.
This was true of the gent leman when he traveled by stagecoach and by train, and just as true,
if not more so today, when he hops aboard a jet. Here’s how to take to the skies like a classic
gent.
“To do nothing that can either annoy or offend the sensibilities of others, sums up
the principal rules for conduct under all circumstances—whether staying at home
or traveling.” Emily Post, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at
Home, 1922
Pre-Boarding
Dress sharp. Now, there’s no need to don a three-piece suit, but do kindly leave the pajama
pants and crocs at home. No matter how seemingly pedestrian it’s become, taking a trip is still a
special thing. Dressing decently and with a little style can get you into that mindset and
heighten your experience, as well as add a bit of the old charm back into travel for you, and for
your fellow passengers as well. Putting on real pants that button will help your fellow travelers
feel more like they’re getting away from it all, and less like t hey’re visiting a Walmart at midnight.
For advice on dressing for travel with both practicality and style in mind, check out these tips
from Antonio.
Be civil to the ticket
agents and ot her airline
employees. Despite their
proximity t o those
automated kiosks, ticket
agents are not machines.
Just as you don’t berate a
waiter for a poor-tasting
dish, don’t take out your

understandable frustrations
on the ticket and gate
agents for flight delays and
other snafus they had no
hand in or power over. Your
own disgruntlements feel
supremely important, but
understand they’re burdened
with dealing with the
disgruntlements of hundreds
of ot her folks just like you
every single day; it’s not
easy. So by all means, be firm
in asking them to do all they
possibly can t o
accommodate you when
things go awry, but do your
best to stay calm and cool, even friendly. It will surely be a sigh of relief to the agent to deal
with a rational and perhaps even smiling traveler for once. And when an agent goes above and
beyond the call of duty in helping you, be sure to tell them how much you appreciat e it.
Get t hrough the security
check as quickly as
possible. Have you ever
been standing in a security
line that snaked up and
down, knowing your flight
was going to take off in half
an hour, and sweating
whether you were going to
get to the gate on time?

Your blood pressure soars,
every minute that passes is
excruciating, and when you
see folks at the front of the
line moving very slowly and
not following the clearly-
marked instructions, your
eyes fairly bulge out of your
head.
Sure, some people are late
because of their own dumb
choices, but sometimes it’s
because of something out of
their control, and they just
really, really want to catch
their flight home to their
family. So next time you’re in
the security line, just imagine
there’s a guy behind you on
the verge of an aneurism.
Plus, everybody, late or not,
truly appreciates moving through the chute as quickly as possible.
Have your ID and ticket (or smartphone, nowadays) out and ready when you get to the first
checkpoint. Then take off your shoes and remove your laptop from your bag while there are
still a few people between you and the conveyer belt. When they say everything out of your
pockets, they mean everything. And once it’s your turn, move quickly and efficiently to load up
your stuff and walk through the scanner.
Don’t clip your nails while wait ing in the gat e area, and t hen leave your pile of clippings
there. Yes, dear reader, I saw this happen.
Boarding

Board the plane in an orderly fashion. Whenever boarding is announced, people tend to
stampede to the door…and then creep forward in a giant line to get on the plane. Unless
you’re flying Southwest, or are very concerned about finding overhead compartment space,
there’s no rush. I personally don’t want to be sitting in that flying capsule for any longer than
necessary, and tend to wait until the line has died down to get on. Even if you do want to board
ASAP, wait until your “group” is called.
Try to avoid smacking people with your bag as you make your way down the aisle. Hold
your carry-on in a controlled fashion in front of you. You don’t want to knock an old lady
unconscious with your Saddleback briefcase.
Don’t t ry t o avoid t he fee
for check-in bags by
bringing a carry-on t hat ’s
too big. You know t his guy –
he holds up the line of
people trying to get down
the aisle of the plane as he
struggles against all odds to
cram a bag that’s never
going to fit into the
overhead compartment , and
then finally has to give it to
the flight attendant to check.
Saving money by avoiding
the checked-bag fee is great,
and so is traveling light, but
make sure your bag will fit
before you haul it onto the
plane; most ticket counters
have a measuring box that
will allow you to verify this

before you check in.
Help people put t heir bags
int o the overhead
compartment . If you see
someone struggling to put
their bag up, offer a helping
hand.
Once you’ve put your
belongings in the overhead
compartment , sit down.
Don’t stand there in the aisle
rummaging through your bag
to find your Jujubes. If you
need something from your
bag that you can’t grab
easily, you should sit down,
put the bag on your lap, and
then return it to the
overhead compartment once
you’re through.
Let separated
couples/f riends/family sit
together. If a couple gets
put in different rows, and
you’re a single gent who
doesn’t care which seat he’s
in, offer to move so they can
sit together. It means a lot to
folks.
On our first flight with Gus,

Kate and I were pretty
nervous about keeping him
pacified, and were ready to
team up to do it. So I was
really disappointed to find
out the airline, contrary to
our reservations, had put
Kate and Gus in a separate
row right behind me — the
very last row on the plane. It
was one of those prop
planes that had two seats
on one side, and one seat on
the other. The guy across
from Kate offered to switch,
but the guy sitting next to
me refused, saying he didn’t
want to sit in the back row
because the chairs didn’t
recline. At that exact
moment, somewhere in the
world, a chivalrous kitten was
killed.
Take Off (and
Landing)
Ret urn your seat to the
upright position and turn
of f your elect ronic device
when the flight att endant
asks. Don’t be the guy who tries to squeeze in a few more minutes on the phone aft er they

make that announcement, and makes the flight attendant come by to give him a nudge.
In Flight
Honor the unofficial code of armrest dibs. Who gets which armrest? It’s always a little
awkward, isn’t it? No need to wrangle over them and throw elbows. Here’s a sensible code of
conduct: Each person gets at least one armrest. In a three-seat row, the middle person gets the
armrest on each side of him, while the person in the aisle seat gets the outside one, and the
person in the window seat gets the one next to the window; the thinking here is that the
person in the aisle seat can lean into the aisle, the person in the window seat can lean into the
window, but the man in the middle is stuck. In a row with five seats, the person in t he very
middle seat gets the two armrests around him, while the passengers to his left each take their
left armrest, and the passengers on the right each claim the one on their right.
Keep your kid as calm and occupied as possible. Despite being separated on the
aforementioned flight, we were fine because we had a Gus-pacification battle plan: lots of
books, snacks, trinkets, and, God’s gift to traveling parents: the iPad. Cranky kids top the list of
traveler pet peeves, so don’t bring a tyke along and expect him to spend his time browsing the
SkyMall catalog. Sure, it’s the crying itself t hat’s annoying, but equally frustrating is a parent
who ignores the meltdown while immersing herself in Fifty Shades of Grey. Sometimes there’s
nothing you can do to turn off a kid’s waterworks, but fellow passengers will be more
understanding if you’re at least making an effort to walk ‘em back from the edge. If you want to
win over your seatmates even more, these parents had a pretty ingenious idea: hand out
goody bags of candy and earplugs to those seated around you!
Listen to your movies/music at a reasonable volume. Airlines really cram people together
these days. People’s heads are only a few inches apart during flight. So don’t crank up t he
volume on your headphones, and t reat your seat mate to the sound of every single explosion in
The Expendables.
Initiat e conversation only when welcome. It’s fine to chat with your fellow passengers a bit;
it’s a little strange that we sit side-by-side with people and never acknowledge each other
whatsoever. But if your seatmate doesn’t seem interested in engaging with you, don’t continue
to prattle on.
If you end up next to an unwelcome chatterbox, follow Emily Post’s old advice to steamship

passengers in the same scenario: “If you receive them with any degree of enthusiasm, your
response may be translated into a willingness to talk. But if you answer in the merest
monosyllables, it should be t aken to mean that you prefer to be left to your own diversions.” If
you really don’t want folks to talk to you, head off the possibility by slipping on some
headphones; doesn’t matter if sound is being emitted or not – it’s an unofficial “do not disturb”
sign.
Give t hose behind you a heads up when you’re going t o recline your seat. The person
seated behind you may have drinks or a laptop on their tray table, so don’t surprise them with a
rapid recline of your seat. If you can, turn around and let them know your seatback is incoming.
That’s easier to do in the aisle seat, and if you find giving the heads up awkward, at least
recline very slowly.
Don’t get up t o use the head when t he f light att endant s are serving f ood and drinks.
There are plenty of good times to cram yourself into the plane’s tiny loo. During the beverage
service is not one of them. Don’t create a game of chicken between you and the bev cart.
Disembarking
Exit in an orderly fashion. Get up row by row. Once it’s your turn, gather your things as quickly
as possible and get going. If you’re seated towards the back of the plane, and worried about
making a connection, instead of charging into the aisle and trying to bulldoze your way to the
front, ask a flight attendant before landing if there’s an available seat near the front of the
plane to which you can be moved. They’ll usually be happy to oblige.
Thank t he flight attendant s and pilots. They just safely hurtled a metal can eight miles above
the earth’s surface, without crashing into the Andes and forcing you to become a cannibal. A
tip of the hat is in order!
Baggage Claim
Stand a f ew feet away
from the edge of the
baggage claim conveyer
belt. It may help you grab
your bag 2.5 seconds faster,
but standing with one’s shins

up against the baggage claim
conveyer belt blocks the
view of others who are
looking f or their bag. Stand
back a little. No need to
bunch up right where the bag
comes out, either; pick a
different spot, wait 40
seconds, and the bag will
come right to you.
Polish your monocle, sir.
You’ve made it to your
destination safe and sound, and got there like a gentleman.
All illustrations by Ted Slampyak
What are your tips on flying like a gentleman? Share them wit h us in t he comments!
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