the fall of the smurfs

The Fall of the SmurfsI had
hated Smurfs for the longest time. Their little blue formsannoyed me so,
and their high-pitched voices made me want to smash the TV.So when I
decided that I was going to take over their little village andmake the
Smurfs pay for what they had d one, I was going to go prepared.I bought
an RV and outfitted it specially for the invasion. Ianticipated being gone
for several months, so the RV was well stocked withfood and other
supplies. As my main mission was to take over the Smurfvillage, I carried
with me a number of nets and Smurf traps, all designedto exacting
specifications, for the Smurfs were not stupid, and wouldavoid any
ordinary traps. I also had a "playroom" and a well-stockedlaboratory,
where I would perform my experiments on my unwilling bluesubjects. One
side of the RV was lined with cages, each of which couldhold two Smurfs
comfortably.I set out on the first day of spring. The Smurfs are most
activein the spring, when they run around smelling flowers and playing in
thefields and generally being nuisances. I drove all day until I reached
theborders of Smurfland. A little wooden gate, decorated with flowers
andleaves, denoted the entrance to that happy place. I got down from the
RVand kicked it over, smashing it with my foot. I then got my net and
aheavy canvas bag and went out, looking for signs of Smurf.I found my
first Smurf almost immediately. He was looking at hisreflection in a puddle
and whistling the Smurf's theme song. He was sostupid, he never even
noticed me coming up behind him. I got close enoughand whipped the
net over his blue form."Hey, why'd you do that?""Shut up, you little blue
creep", I walked up and looked down onhim. He stared up at me
indignantly, putting his blue hands at his hips.I knelt down, got my hand
under the net, and ripped off that little whitediaper thing all of the Smurfs
wear. There he was, naked as sin, hislittle blue dick hanging out. His
hands went down to cover himself, whichI took as an opportunity to give
him a good sharp thunk on the nose. Asis well known, that will knock a
Smurf out for about a minute. I tookthat opportunity to stuff him in the bag

and carry him back to the RV. Iput him in the cage and put a padlock on
it, since Smurfs are well knownfor their escape abilities. I then went back
out to continue the search.Hunting was good. By the time night fell, I had
captured fiveSmurfs. One of them was the hated Handy Smurf, the others
were just youraverage stupid Smurf. I took Handy out of his cage, holding
him firmly sothat he didn't squirm away."Hey stop that, you can't do
that!""I can do whatever I want, you little prick", I popped him in alarge
glass bottle that he couldn't climb out of. He was still naked, aswere all
the other Smurfs, and he covered up his genitals with his handsagain."So
what's your name?""Handy Smurf.""How old are you?""In Smurf
years?""Yes.""Twenty-three.""Get your hands up.""What?""Get your
hands up, you blue bastard." I reached in and thumpedhim on the head.
His hands flew up to rub his head, which was when Igrabbed them, put
them behind his back, and tied them with a twisty-tie.His little blue dick
was semi-hard, which I noted in my lab book."Why Handy Smurf, you
have a hard-on", I said. He blushed a darkershade of blue, but said
nothing. His erection, though, grew even harderand longer, which is to
say about an inch long."So Handy Smurf, have you ever fucked
Smurfette?""Have I ever done what?""Have you ever smurfed
her?""Gosh we Smurfs would never do that!""Why not,
Handy?""Because Papa Smurf would get very mad at us. No one has
eversmurfed Smurfette, its against the law.""So don't you want to do it
though?"He didn't answer, but he looked very uncertain. I had what
Iwanted though, so I put him back in his cage. I took each Smurf out
inturn, questioning them the same way I had questioned Handy Smurf. All
ofthem seemed shocked when I suggested they could have their way
withSmurfette, though they all seemed interested in the idea. One
Smurf,though, refused to answer any questions. I named him Stubborn
Smurf. Heran all around the bottle, yelling, "Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" I
got sickof this behavior after awhile, so I decided to teach the other

Smurfs alesson. I took Stubborn out and put him in a small vacuum
chamber that Ihad on a rolling cart in the lab. The door had a large
window, so theother Smurfs could look in. I rolled it over so the other
Smurfs couldsee inside and started evacuating the air. I had a
microphone inside thetank, so I could hear Stubborn Smurf. I expected to
hear his littlescreams, but all he kept saying was, "Papa Smurf, Papa
Smurf!" He ran incircles, dashing himself against the walls of the vacuum
chamber. Theother Smurfs yelled encouragement, but Stubborn couldn't
hear them. I wasalmost starting to think the Smurfs could live in a
vacuum, when I heard aloud pop, like a balloon. I looked in and saw a
thickblue liquid dripping down the window."What did you do with
Stubborn?" yelled Handy, his nose pressedagainst the bars."I killed him,
Handy. Stubborn Smurf is dead he's never comingback.""But you can't
kill a Smurf that's not nice!""Shut up Handy, or you're next." I grabbed a
glass of cold waterand doused him with it."Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!""I
could see he was scared. That was good, it was my first steptowards
conquering the entire Smurf village. I went to my room, the criesof "Papa
Smurf, Papa Smurf" echoing in my ears.IIThe next day dawned clear and
sunny. I got up, made a cup ofcoffee, and went into the lab. All four
Smurfs were asleep. I drew a cupof cold water and threw it on Handy
Smurf. He sputtered awake and said,"Who did that?""Me, you little
ingrate." I ran the cup over the bars on the othercages, waking up the
other Smurfs. They woke up, joyous smiles on theirlittle blue faces."Are
you going to let us go today?" they asked, their eyes brightwith promise
and hope."No none of you are ever going to go free. In fact,
you'llprobably be working in a Smurf mine by the end of the spring.""No
we won't we won't let you, " they said in unison. Handy said,"We'll tell
Papa Smurf on you!""I'm going to kill Papa Smurf, in front of the entire
Smurfvillage, Handy. Then you can be the new leader of the Smurfs. How
wouldyou like that? And then, I'll even let you smurf Smurfette." I couldtell

he was interested."No I can't do that!""Why not Handy, I know you want
to.""No I don't!""Yes you do Handy your little dick is getting hard
again.""No it isn't leave me alone or I'll tell Papa Smurf on you!"Handy
started sobbing. "Why won't you let us go we want to go smellflowers,
play in the fields, gather nuts for the village." The othersstarted sobbing
too."Stop sobbing, Handy, or I'll put another Smurf in the
vacuumchamber.""NO don't kill another Smurf they're my
friends!""Someday Handy you'll be killing them yourself, just to have
achance to smurf Smurfette.""No I won't I never will and you can't make
me!""Yes I can and I will, Handy. So now, I'm going to go and catchmore
Smurfs." I left them sobbing and crying for Papa Smurf.IIIBy the time the
sun went down, I had caught three more Smurfs.One was Brainy Smurf. I
took away their clothes, of course, and I tookaway Brainy Smurf's little
horn-rimmed glasses and smashed them under myheel. I then put Brainy
in with Handy. Handy went over and huggedBrainy, which got them
another dousing with cold water. I wanted to startbringing them away from
their touchy-feely emotional state, break themdown to the point where
they'd be fighting with each other. I then putfive Smurfs in a cage, which
was barely large enough to hold them all. Irolled a TV/VCR in front of the
cage and popped in a special tape. I hadtaken some video of Smurfette a
while back and digitally altered it sothat Smurfette was doing some really
naughty thing s to herself. Itstarted out with her putting her little blue hand
up her little skirt. Ihad also added some sound effects, so the caged
Smurfs could clearly hearSmurfette's moans of "Smurf me, oh please
smurf me!" The five Smurfs inthe cage had hug e erections (for a Smurf)
and were soon running theirhands over their erect shafts. When
Smurfette started screaming, "I'msmurfing, I'm smurfing!", all five of them
exploded in unison, blue Smurfjuice spraying all over their hands and
each other as they chantedloudly, "Smurf me, smurf me." I picked out one
of the five and threw himinto the vacuum chamber. Soon I heard the

Smurf running around yellingfor Papa Smurf, pleading for Papa Smurf to
come save him. I had nointention of killing this Smurf though, not just yet,
so I left him therethe entire night, isolated from his Smurf buddies. The
other Smurfsstarted sobbing too, especially when I turned out all of the
lights(Smurfs hate the dark). It had been another good day, but tomorrow
was tobegin my assault on the Smurf village.IVI disdained subtlety, so in
the morning I just started driving theRV right over the Smurf's fields,
running over their grains andstrawberries and blueberries and all of the
Smurf's food supplies. Acouple of times I actually got to run over some
Smurfs that didn't getout of the way in time. Once, one Smurf managed to
hang on to the fenderfor awhile, yelling for Papa Smurf, but soon he went
under the wheels aswell. I heard the pop as they rolled over his little blue
head, the lastcry of "Oh my Smurf" sounding out over the roar of the
engine. While Idrove, the other Smurfs were in the back watching the
Smurfette tape overand over again. Their little blue dicks were raw from
so much beatingoff. Handy and Brainy were trying to ignore it, but I knew
it wouldn't belong before they succumbed as well and started beating off
to the video.I stopped for lunch and went into the back of the RV. All of
the Smurfsexcept for Handy and Brainy were watching the tape, even the
one in thevacuum chamber was beating his little blue dick. I reached over
andturned off the VCR."Turn it back on, please please turn it back on!"
they said inunison, their blue cocks at half-staff."I'll turn it on if you'll do
one thing for me, my Smurfs.""What do you want us to do?" one of them
said, his hand runningabsently over his blue dick."I want you to kill the
Smurf in the vacuum chamber there. Killhim, and I'll give you a whole new
Smurfette video to watch.""No no we won't do it", they all said. But their
cocks were sayingyes. I put a new tape in and started it up. This one
showed Smurfettetaking a shower in the nude this time, soap bubbles
covering her privateparts as she moaned for smurfing. Their cocks
sprang to life and theystarted beating off furiously, all together. I turned

off the tape,reached in and picked up the Smurf in the vacuum chamber
and put him inthe cage with the other four. The four Smurfs had
lust-crazed looks intheir eyes."Kill him for me and I'll let you watch the
rest of the video."The sight was incredible. All four Smurfs, their eyes
glazed overfrom twelve hours of continuous video watching, surrounded
Bottle Smurf,as I had come to call him. He yelled at the top of his lungs
for PapaSmurf, but no one could save him as they pr essed in closer.
Suddenly allfour Smurfs closed in on Bottle and begin pummeling him
with their littleblue fists. "Help me, Handy", he yelled, but Handy Smurf
could do nothingbut sob. I noticed that the erections of all four Smurfs
grew when theyst arted in on Bottle Smurf. When one of the Smurfs,
possessed by lustfor Smurfette, tore Bottle Smurf's little tail off, showering
the otherthree with Smurf vital juices, he came explosively, setting off the
otherthree Smurfs. The cage was soon splatte red with Smurf juices of
allkinds, as the four Smurfs in their lust literally tore Bottle Smurf limbfrom
limb. I heard a last cry for Papa Smurf before all fell silent. Iturned the TV
back on and started the tape back up, and was instantlyrewarded b y the
sounds of Smurfs whacking off. I connected a hose to thesink and
sprayed the cage off, washing away the last remnants of BottleSmurf.
The other four Smurfs didn't even notice, as they were engrossedby the
sight of Smurfette running bare-ass naked through a field ofclover. Soon
the chant began "Smurf me, smurf me ", as they watchedwith rapt
attention. I noticed Handy and Brainy were watching now as well(Brainy
couldn't see much, but it was enough), their hands absentlystroking their
ne ther regions. Leaving them to their video, I picked upmy net and bag
and a 9 mm Glock and went out the door of the RV.I had parked the RV
in the middle of a Smurf potato farm. ThreeSmurfs were waiting about ten
feet away. One had a rake, which was thefirst time I had ever seen one
carry something that could hurt me. Theothers didn't carry anything. I
decided I was going to be careful."Why did you park that in the middle of

my farm, I was going topick potatoes today," the Smurf with the rake
whined. I named him FarmerSmurf."Because I wanted to, Farmer
Smurf.""Well, you'd better leave or I'll tell Papa Smurf on you!""Fuck Papa
Smurf!" I targeted the one to the right of Farmer Smurfand fired. The
bullet impacted him in the gut and passed through. Piecesof Smurf flew
through the air. "Help me Papa Smurf," were his last wordsas he dropped
to the ground face firs t, bouncing on his bulbous blue nosebefore he was
silenced forever."Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" the other two yelled and
started runningback towards the Smurf village. I started after them, my
much longerstride catching me up after only a few seconds. I slipped the
net overFarmer Smurf and bonked him on the nose, knocking him out. I
let theother Smurf get about twenty yards away. He thought I had given
up, theidiot, and started walking and whistling the Smurf's theme song. I
fired.The hollow point bullet smashed into the back of his head, and sent
Smurfbrains (which are blue as well) about twenty feet out the front. He
wasone dead Smurf. I took Farmer Smurf back to the RV and put him in
withHandy and Brainy. The other Smurfs were still watching the video and
Inoticed that in the cage with the four Smurfs , one Smurf had
gottenbehind another Smurf and was whacking that Smurf's dick off for
him."So you all want to go out and smurf with Smurfette," I asked."Yes we
do!" they all said in unison, except for Farmer and Handy."Good. Before I
let you do that though, there's one thing I wantyou to do for me, my
Smurfs.""What do you want, sir!" they all said."I want you to go out and
bring me Papa Smurf alive. If you dothat, I'll let you see another video,
and then I'll let you all smurfSmurfette."Handy Smurf had not said a word
during all of this, but suddenlyhe got up and went to the bars of his cage
and said, "Don't do it,Smurfs think of the village, our Smurf homes!""It's
too late, Handy, they've gone over.""No, they haven't. All they need is
love and affection and ""Sex, Handy. They need sex." I grabbed Farmer
by his little bluetail and dangled him above their cage. He struggled but it

was no use."If you don't bring back Papa Smurf, this is what will happen
to you." Iopened the door to the microwave and threw Farmer in head
first. "Ouch!"he said, as he pressed his nose against the glass window in
the door."Help me, Handy, help me!" I set the microwave on high and
turned it on.He pounded at the door with his little blue fists, crying for
anotherSmurf to save him, but no Smurf could. Handy and Brainy were
sobbing, butthe other Smurfs had totally blank expressions on their little
blue faces.It only took about a minute. Suddenly, Farmer Smurf burst into
flames, hebecame a Smurf fireball! I opened the door and he leaped out,
running incircles, yelling, "Put me out, put me out Smurfs." He did this for
aboutthirty seconds before he let out a final cry of "Oh my Smurf!"
andexploded into a pile of dust and ash. I noted that in the lab
book."Farmer!" Handy cried. "Why did you kill Farmer Smurf, he was
myfriend!""Because I wanted to, Handy.""Why are you so mean to us?
We never hurt you!""Because I want to be, Handy. In fact, I might kill all
the Smurfsbut you. You'd be the only Smurf left in the whole world. You'd
neversee another Smurf again, Handy. I'd keep you in a cage and make
you watchvideos of the Smurfs playing and smelli ng flowers. Then I'd
make youwatch videos of the luscious Smurfette. You'll never smurf her,
Handy,unless you do what I say.""No please don't hurt any more
Smurfs!""Too late, Handy, you had your chance." I took Brainy Smurf out
ofHandy's cage and put him in another one, isolating Handy Smurf. He
rolledinto a ball and started sobbing, "Smurf me oh Smurfs." Every
otherSmurf stared blankly into space, waiting for my command."Ok
Smurfs, I want you to do one thing for me. Bring Papa Smurf tome alive.
Do that, my Smurfs, and I'll let you watch another
Smurfettevideo.""Hooray!" they all said, eager to be at their task. They
crowdedat the doors of their cages, ready to go and find Papa Smurf for
me. Ilet out all of the Smurfs except Handy and Brainy. Opening the door
tothe RV, they trooped out, blank expressions on their faces, whistling

theSmurf's theme song. I had attached a small camera to the cap of one
ofthe Smurfs, so I was able to see what they were doing. I turned a
monitoron to watch the proceedings. The four Smurfs ran towards the
village,still n aked, of course. Several Smurfs were out and about and
looked atthe quartet as they ran into the village. One Smurf ran towards
thegroup, obviously recognizing one of them, but they walked right past
him.He started running alongside. I had a microp hone mounted on the
cameraso I could also hear what was going on."Builder Smurf, want to go
smurfing on the lake tonight?" thenewcomer asked."Must get Papa
Smurf", they all said together."But but Papa Smurf's asleep, you can't go
wake him up.!""Must get Papa Smurf so we can smurf Smurfette.""Hey,
we can't smurf with Smurfette, that's against the law."I had also put a
small speaker inside the ear of one of theSmurfs. I picked up a
microphone and said, "Kill that Smurf for me.""Hey what happened to
your clothes, Papa Smurf is no stayaway help me help me
Papaaa "The monitor showed my Smurfs attacking the other Smurf. I
sawBuilder Smurf tear the other Smurf's little blue tail off, which
prompteda new cry for help, but none came, and soon the ground was
covered withSmurf parts and Smurf vital juices. My Smurf s started
towards the houseon the hill, the house of Papa Smurf. They got to the
gate and swarmedover. Papa Smurf was already waiting, having heard
the commotion outside."My Smurfs, what is wrong? Why aren't you
wearing any clothes?""You must come with us, Papa Smurf.""Where are
we going?""We have to take you to our leader. Then we can smurf
Smurfette.""What you know that's against the law, my Smurfs. And I'm
yourleader what's happened hey, let go of me Smurfs!"My Smurfs had
hoisted Papa Smurf on their shoulders. Hestruggled, but he was an old
Smurf, and he was no match for four youngSmurfs. They ran down the
hill and begin walking through the Smurfvillage. They had reached the
outskirts when a voice call ed out, "Whereare you taking Papa Smurf?"It

was Smurfette. She had on a little blue dress with flowers.The four
Smurfs stopped and turned as one towards her."Smurfette, come with us
while we take Papa Smurf to our leader.Then we'll smurf you!" they all
said."No!" She sounded terrified. "We can't smurf, you know that.
PutPapa Smurf down and I'll make you some tea and cookies."I took hold
of the microphone and said, "Bring Papa Smurf to me,now!""Must take
Papa Smurf, " they said as one. "But we'll be back foryou later, Smurfette!
We're going to smurf you all night long!" I didn'tknow if she noticed, but
each Smurf had an enormous erection. They joggedon past carrying
Papa Smurf while S murfette ran inside her little houseand closed the
door. Not that it mattered, I could open it for my Smurfsif they needed it.It
only took a few minutes before I heard some little knocks. Itwas my
Smurfs, and they carried with them the leader of the entire Smurfvillage,
Papa Smurf."Ah, Papa Smurf, so glad you could join us, " I said, picking
himup."Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf, you've come to rescue us," Handy
Smurfsaid from his cage. He got a dousing of cold water for that. He
wentinto a corner and started sobbing again."Let go of me, and all of my
Smurfs.""I don't think so, Papa Smurf." I opened one of the cages
andthrew him in. "You see, I'm going to take over as the leader of
theSmurfs. More like a dictatorship, I guess. Anyway, all of the Smurfswill
be mining gold for me soon, Papa Smurf. You c an either continue tolead
peacefully, or die in front of all of your Smurfs. The choice isyours."
Behind me, all four of my Smurfs had gone back into their cage.I popped
in another tape. This time, it showed Smurfette being smurfed bya
3D-Studio generated Smurf. It was all fake, of course, but the
soundswere real enough for my Smurfs. All four were beating off
together.Handy and Brainy were watching as well, and I noticed their
Smurf dickswere getting hard too."Don't watch, my Smurfs, he's trying to
brainwash you!" Papa Smurfsaid loudly. That got him a first dousing with
cold water. On thescreen, Smurfette was getting it from behind. "Ohhh,

make mesmurfffffffffffff!" she screamed and this time every Smurf but
Papa Smurfflooded his hand with Smurf juice. Then Smurfette turned
around and tookher Smurf lover's tool deep inside her mouth, slurping
lustfully."Oh suck on my smurf Smurfette," the voice came from the
lover's lips ashe thrust in and out ofSmurfette's mouth."And besides,
Papa Smurf if you don't cooperate, this is whatwill happen to every
Smurf." I grabbed Handy out of his cage and with oneswift motion, tore
off his little blue tail. Smurf vital juices sprayedout as Handy let out a yelp
and begin call ing for Papa Smurf to save hismiserable little existence. I
wasn't ready to get rid of Handy just yet,so I took a piece of duct tape and
slapped it over the place where histail had once been, and threw him in
with Papa Smurf. Handy went over toPapa Smurf for a hug, which quickly
got both of them a cold-water dousing.Handy started bawling like a baby
when I wouldn't let him get his hug fromPapa Smurf, but I didn't care. He
tried twice more, but each time he gota glass of ice-cold water in the fa ce
for his troubles."Pleaseee I need a hugggg!" he cried, his little blue face
buriedin his hands."Shut up Handy, or I'll throw your Papa Smurf in the
vacuum chamber.""Pleaseeee Papa Smurffffffff!""Why won't you let me
hug Handy Smurf he's hurt," Papa Smurfcried. He tried to get closer to
Handy, who was rolled up in a cornersobbing his eyes out, but all that got
him was another glass of cold wateron top of Handy Smurf."Because I
don't want you to hug anyone, Papa Smurf. No Smurf willever hug
another Smurf again, unless it's like my friends in the cagethere." I
pointed to the cage, where my Smurfs had formed a daisy-chain,each
Smurf whacking off the Smurf in frontof him, all chanting, "Smurf me,
smurf me.""Please let me and all my Smurfs go I'll give you all the gold
inthe village," Papa Smurf said, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Ithink
he was starting to see that I was no Gargomel."Shut up, Papa Smurf." I
grabbed him and put him in a metal box.The box only had two tiny
airholes, so there was almost no light goinginside. I went to bed, Handy

still sobbing as he sat in the corner of hiscage, and my Smurfs still
beating each ot her off.VThe next day I woke up and decided to teach
Papa Smurf a lesson.I took him out of the box and put him back in the
cage with Handy, onlythis time he didn't go over to try and give him a hug.
Handy was fastasleep, so I solved that by rattling my coffe e cup against
the bars. Hewoke up, saw where he was at, and started sobbing again.
He was such astupid Smurf. I then grabbed Brainy out of his cage and
placed him on thelab table, telling him to stay put. After seeing what had
happened toother Smu rfs who had disobeyed me, he probably figured
this was not thetime nor the place to stage an escape."You know, Papa
Smurf I've often wondered what would happen to aSmurf exposed to
very cold temperatures after all, I don't think you getsnow in the Smurf
village. Well, let's find out." I grabbed a pair oftongs from a drawer. Brainy
started to get up and run, but I was tooquick for him, and got the tongs
around his little blue head. I held himfirmly in one hand while I unscrewed
the top of a large, thermos-likeapparatus with the other. "This is a
container of liquid nitrogen let'ssee wh at happens to Brainy, shall we."
With one swift motion and a lastcry of Papa Smurf, I plunged Brainy into
the thermos."Help me Papa Smuuurrrrf," were the last words of Brainy
Smurf, asthe liquid nitrogen boiled around him. I waited several minutes,
thenbrought him back out. He was a Smurfcicle, as the liquid nitrogen
hadfrozen him through and through."I'm going to do this to one Smurf
every hour, Papa Smurf, unlessyou do what I say." I banged the tongs
against the edge of the table.Brainy Smurf shattered into about a hundred
pieces."Brainy!" Papa Smurf cried as pieces of his friend tinkled on
thefloor like shards of glass."I love the sound of dead Smurf in the
morning", as I got up tosearch for more victims.VIBy nightfall I had
collected three more Smurfs to add to myprisoners. One was the Poetry
Smurf, he went into the cage with Handy andPapa Smurf. The other two
went into the cage with the other four to watchthe Smurfette video. It

wasn't long before they were starting to stroketheir Smurf dicks. Poetry
Smurf, on the other hand, started in almostimmediatley:"Why have you
put usAll in this cageWhen we could be outGathering parsely and
sage"Smurfs are so happyJoyous and freeAs soon as you know usI''m
sure you'll agree""Shut up, Poet." I said as I thumped him on the head
and strippedhim of his clothes. Handy was rubbing the spot where his tail
had oncebeen and with Papa Smurf in the same cage, was trying to
ignore theSmurfette video. I looked outside and saw a num ber of Smurfs
gatheringoutside the RV, there must have been twenty Smurfs out
there.Unfortunatley, Smurfette was nowhere to be seen. I would attend to
herlater, though, right now I was going to go out and bag as many Smurfs
as Icould. Grabbing my G lock, a large net, and a little can of lighterfluid, I
stepped outside to meet the Smurfs."Hello there, Smurfs," I said. "It's a
fine day to go Smurfing,wouldn't you say?"One Smurf came to the front
and stood about five feet away fromme, the others held back. "Where do
you have Papa Smurf?" he asked, hislittle voice trembling in fear."I have
him inside. But you don't have to worry about Papa Smurf,I'm your new
leader now.""No you aren't!" they all said in unison. "We only follow
thegreat Papa Smurf there's no other Smurf like
him!""La-da-da-da-de-da la-la-la-la-la", they whistled. I whipped out
thenet just as they finished and threw it over the group, catching
abouttwelve Smurfs. Eight managed to evade the net and go running
towards thevillage, calling for Papa Smurf. Five never made it, as they
couldn'toutrun a bullet. When I was done, Smurf parts littered the
outskirts ofthe Smurf village. Just for fu n, I took shots at some of
theirbuildings, blasting them and the Smurfs inside them apart in an orgy
ofdestruction that the Smurfs had never seen. Soon Smurfs were running
allover the streets, calling for Papa Smurf, yelling "Oh my Smurf"
whenanother one of their homes was destroyed. I walked over and found
oneSmurf that hadn't been killed outright, though he was missing a leg

andhis little blue tail. I picked him up and brought him over to the RV.The
Smurfs under the net had been trying to get out, but there was no
waythey would be able to, the net was too heavy. I tossed the injured
Smurfto the ground and sprayed him with lighter fluid.
"Ouuuccchhhhh pleasehelp me Papa Smurf, it hurrrts." As the Smurfs
watched, I stuck a matchand lit the injured Smurf ablaze. He got up on
one foot and tried to hopto the village and the house of Papa Smurf, but
he succumbed quickly tothe flames, and in thirty seconds blew up in an
explosion similar to theone that had taken Farmer Smurf. The Smurf s
under the net startedsobbing and crying. I went and picked up another
injured Smurf, tossedhim about twenty feet in the air, and plugged him
with a bullet from theGlock. Smurf parts flew everywhere as the Smurf
blew apart from the forceof the bullet. I then grabbed one from under the
net and pulled off hislittle blue tail. He cried out for Papa Smurf to help
him as Smurf vitaljuices sprayed out from where his tail had once been,
but