Switching Lanes on Life’s Journey (Abridged Version) pdf

Switching Lanes on Life’s Journey
(Abridged Version)
The middle-aged woman’s guide to re-discovering your
vocational destiny
By Alexandra B. Kelemen
Smashwords Edition
Text copyright © 2012 Alexandra B. Kelemen
All Rights Reserved
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Table of Contents
Behind the Wheel of Your Life Journey
Is Your Destination Your Destiny?
Changing landscapes
Over the Limit
Detailing Your Occupational Vehicle
A Little Polish Goes a Long Way
Accessing the Value of Networking
Resume: Travel Log of Your Vocational Journey
Watching the Road Signs: Emerging Trends
Navigation System Co-creator
Author’s Bio
Behind the Wheel of Your Life Journey
Looking for work as a middle-aged woman is a humbling experience. You may
feel discouraged, insulted or outright confused while navigating your way.
Compounding to these feelings, the recent financial meltdown has shed light on
how employers act (and feel) towards their employees. But you can always

switch lanes and create the positive change you desire. You are the one behind
the wheel of your life’s journey.
Today’s financial situation has created some ugly truths: employers no longer
direct our career paths and job security has been tossed out the window. As
women, we must recognize that the only security we have is by being self-
directed.
Employers hire us to solve problems, which we typically solve through our
skills. You’ve acquired a lot of experience through self-knowledge and life
education. Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned to benefit yourself and set
a clear path to success.
As CEO of your life, you must hone and polish both your hard and soft skills to
properly align them with what the current marketplace is demanding for your
position within your industry. The marketplace is a revolving door, remaining
competitive is imperative to success. You cannot afford to allow your skills to
become stale; stale skills lead to skill gaps and therefore loss in competitive
advantage.
Challenging days are ahead for all of us, as we face an uncertain future. Our
nation is treading uncharted waters with a shifting economy and diminishing
resources. We are being forced to redefine our values, our lives, our careers,
and our families. If you’re overwhelmed, you are not alone.
Is Your Destination Your Destiny?
Some people are born with an innate sense for what they hope to become and
ultimately grow into (i.e. a dentist, a writer, or a business owner).
Unfortunately for most of us, the majority of people have no clue of what they
hope to accomplish or become. The only way to counter the ambiguity is by
starting to pay attention to what gives us the most pleasure. Paying attention is
as simple as listing to oneself and taking note of the things we do during our
day to day life that really makes us happy. For some it’s as simple as helping
the needy in a food bank, for others it’s singing at Church or Temple. Some of
us have no idea and so we bounce from one thing to another, trying this and

that. Then that one magical day, we feel the click. We do something for hours
without noticing that time has passed. We are good at it. We feel empowered
and rewarded. This is the moment we recognize our life path unfolding.
Life purpose is the reason why we exist, and ultimately our mission on Earth -
the reason we are alive. As we go through life we discover how important it is
to find our purpose. Sometimes the process is painful, but once we’re on the
other side, we see light at the end of the tunnel and know we have grown.
When harmony is inside of us, the exterior gets stronger and becomes
congruent.
Every activity you do during the day is not pleasant. For example, drying your
hair takes time, time you’d rather use an extra 10 minutes of sleep. But you do
it because when you look into the mirror, you like the reflection staring back at
you.
Work is the same way. Some work activities are not pleasant, but they’re
necessary. Let me make a distinction here: doing some tasks at work that you
don’t enjoy is different than having a job where you cannot flourish or feel
empowered, brilliant or satisfied.
Nothing is 100% perfect. And who wants perfection? Seeking perfection is really
an illusion; our deepest desire is simply to be whole. I enjoy the discrepancies
much better than the perfection; I like handmade things because they are
imperfect and unique. Like you and me.
When you are looking for a job, visualize the ideal “situation” you want to
have. Search for a position that allows you to capitalize on your skills, showing
off what you love most and what you can do with ease. Forget the old school
idea that you don’t know something that is important or that something is
lacking. You cannot know everything but you are certainly good at something—
and you can shine at it!
What is it that you do that your friends talk about? What is it that you enjoy
doing so much that it feels like a hobby instead of like work?
Changing landscapes

As you continue to navigate in this new territory, you’ll find that instability is
the norm; uncertainty is the new assurance.
You’ve probably already experienced this in one way or another. Our pensions
and retirement plans aren’t guaranteed anymore. Many workers have either
lost their pensions or have watched their 401K’s diminished. All those
investments that we so cautiously made, no matter how conservative, are all
changing.
Corporations that once offered attractive pensions are no longer offering them.
Even worse, companies with employees who have been loyal for years are
eliminating past promised pension plans altogether with no consideration for
seniority or decades of service. What employees have accumulated so far may
be safe, but the savings plans have been discontinued. No special bonuses are
given - nada. Instead, workers are informed that their pension plan, from this
moment on, is gone. A dry statement, very hard to take.
If you are out of work or you will soon be, you need to have your “Tool Kit”
ready just as you’d prepare for winter storms, hurricanes or any other weather
related emergency. If you’re going to emerge unharmed, your tools need to be
ready. Stop procrastinating so you can be equipped to handle whatever comes
your way. No need to ask for approval, just do it! Get your ducks in a row now.
Over the Limit
For much of your life, you’ve probably been cruising on autopilot. Your
emotions and your brain were in “low gear,” you’ve been comfortable and
you’ve known where you were going. Yet, something has changed. It’s clear
that your comfort zone doesn’t exist anymore. Looking around, you discover
why.
For the first time since you can remember, you are the master of your own
destiny. You are able to create whatever kind of life you desire at this moment
because your responsibilities are no longer there; your kids graduated and left
you may have gotten divorced, you don’t need to take care for your parents, or
a number of other tasks that were holding you back are no longer there. Your

obligations as you knew them no longer encumber or force you to take care of
others or put your needs on the back-burner. It’s show time, and you’re the
star.
As you have been away, the marketplace has transitioned and looks
dramatically different than it did a decade ago or even a few years ago.
An unprecedented number of mature workers are remaining in the workforce
well past retirement age, and many are being forced to work full-time just to
stay afloat. The latest statistics show that the “graying” of the workforce is
expected to continue. So how do you navigate when you don’t recognize the
landscape and you don’t have a GPS? Understanding how changes in the
marketplace affect you personally, financially and emotionally is key.
Don’t panic if working for a corporation does not appeal to you, in fact,
becoming an entrepreneur has never been easier. There are government
programs out there designed to help people just like you to achieve your goals.
For example, the Small Business Administration is offering training, classes, and
loans to women at all levels to prepare them to embark in entrepreneurial
businesses. Furthermore, take comfort that you are not alone as some women
don’t want to work for a corporation anymore. The amount of independent
workers has risen to unprecedented levels in recent years as workers have
begun to question the normalcy of the corporate life, and instead, opted for
more independent endeavors.
You arrived here and now you need to choose your next step. You can see this
as an impediment or you can see it as an adventure. The reality is that this is
your opportunity to jump in. For example, remember the .com era? There are
countless examples of companies that did not survive although they were filled
with brilliant young entrepreneurs with an insatiable thirst for success. These
entrepreneurs were eager, spontaneous, ambitious, and playful, but the
majority did not have a senior staff member to help guide them with strategic
leadership. There was an absolute lack of experience, which ultimately led to
their demise. You have life’s experience and as such are able to jump in when

opportunity presents itself.
For every company, there are mature professionals serving as the backbone of
the organization, the cultural acumen, the reservoirs of history that help
advice (and ultimately guide) the corporation forward. These senior members
are valued, respected and recognized because without them, the corporation
would surely flounder.
Detailing Your Occupational Vehicle
You’ve achieved good success in your life and in your career. You have a few
well-earned miles under your belt, and now all you need is a little more fuel to
get there and a bit of detailing to look good while doing it.
You’re not alone in your journey. That’s where I come in.
I’ve worked with clients from all over the globe (and in four languages, English,
Spanish, Portuguese and French), to ascertain where they want to go, and the
best avenues to maximize their potential. I work with a diverse group of people
who share a common theme of challenging themselves to do big things; some
examples include (i) small business owners, (ii) high performers in corporate
settings, (iii) expatriates, and (iv) normal men and women who want
transformational results.
My clients span many nationalities and industries, each facing distinct
difficulties and challenges. Through my extensive experience I have gained the
wherewithal to properly interpret cultural codes, balance integration
challenges, bridge skill gaps, and build greater understanding, trust and
rapport among diverse clienteles.
It doesn’t matter from where you are, be it Europe, Latin America, or New
York City, my global background gives me a unique strength to understand
exactly what you need. I will help you assess and strengthen your skill sets,
define and clarify your greatest passions and create a step-by-step plan to
strategically help you achieve success.
I have developed a comprehensive, time-proven system. And on the following
pages, I’ll outline just a few basic steps you can take right now to dramatically

improve your chances of creating the life you’ve always wanted.
A Little Polish Goes a Long Way
I’m sure there have been events or phases of your life when you put all your
time and effort into looking your best. You looked like a million dollars, and
you knew it! When was it? Your sweet 16, your graduation party, or your
wedding? Now is the other time in your life when you are on the front page of
your own brochure!
Time has passed and you are reevaluating your life and when your values are
aligned with your activities, and you are doing what you love, you’ll begin to
experience life’s fulfillment. You’ll soon be one of those lucky souls that smiles
because the sun is up, and it’s another brilliant day. You will be grateful for
this opportunity that life is throwing at you. Is starts as a challenge, yet you
know it’s a great opportunity; and later on you will be an inspiration to other
women in your age range and even to your daughter’s friends!
Polishing your image isn’t optional, it’s a necessity; you have to look the part
you want to create. In life, there are no rehearsals; you have to step out with
your best, well-heeled foot forward. If you’re stuck in time, it will show.
Update your hair, wardrobe, and attitude to suit today’s contemporary society.
Elegance, femininity, and classic wardrobe pieces never go out of style; and
neither does confidence. Being prepared will boost your self-esteem
automatically.
Polishing your skill-set is just as important as detailing your image. A job
seeker always wants to have a sense of what the market is demanding.
Informational interviews, even if only over the telephone, can uncover
important details about a career path. I want to emphasize this point because
it’s really important to understand. For example, you know what your dentist
does. Do you know what she/he had to accomplish at school? Do you know how
much time and effort she/he required? Interviewing those already performing
in a career of your choosing will help you fully understand the path you will
need to follow to be an extraordinary professional. Finding out the answers for

your chosen career path is crucial. For any new endeavor you want to dive into,
you need to do personal research. Books and the Internet are reliable, but your
gut should have the final say.
A good gauge to determine your niche can be gleaned through feedback from
co-workers, managers, and customers; but ultimately, it’s up to you to decide
what feels most inspirational and right. I would also encourage you to invest
time and money in taking scientifically designed assessments such as Myers
Briggs or eCareerFit.com to help further flesh out your professional self. Read
and explore.
Once you’ve narrowed down your list of possible career paths, I recommend
that you dive in and try to learn as much as possible about the specific careers.
There are many public resources available (i.e. libraries, online web portals,
community centers, community workshops, and job centers) as well as local
community colleges with abundant resources. Furthermore, if you’re lucky
enough to live near a large college or university, then I highly encourage you to
utilize their Career Services Division, which usually offers free workshops on
careers and job-hunting strategies. Take advantage of these resources. And be
sure to talk to people that are knowledgeable about what employers are
looking for in your area of expertise.
If you’re interested in a new field or career, identify and articulate if you have
any transferable or related skills that can help you succeed in the new field.
Also identify what skills you don’t have but are required for this new career.
Once you have assessed what skill gaps you may have, be proactive and close
the gap by getting training (either self-taught or formal). Whether it’s a
certification class or enrolling in a graduate program, get started now.
In this tough economy, there is training available to help individuals close their
skill gaps and increase their marketability. Every program has different
guidelines and will require some legwork, research and due diligence. The
investment of time and energy will be well worth it, especially if you are able
to gain the additional skills that help land you the job you want.

Pay attention to particular industries because it’s a harsh fact, certain jobs and
industries are declining or stagnating, so your success becomes very much
about keeping yourself current, doing your homework and trying to figure out
how to keep your skill gaps minimized as much as possible. The great news,
however, is that when you close a skill gap, your marketability increases!
Another key point: keep your computer skills up! No matter what the industry,
employers today are looking for candidates skilled that have a high level of
competency with computer programs. There are a number of resources that
can help you no matter what level of proficiency you currently have.
Accessing the Value of Networking
Let’s do lunch!
It's time to change and transform the conversation and discussion model of the
past. In fact, it's critical. Here's why, the most valuable precious currency in
today’s marketplace is not money, attractiveness or charisma, rather
intellectual aptitude. It is relationship connections.
The people in your circle, being your ex partners, colleagues or friends are
most likely to recommend you in their own place of employments. They know
you personally and they know the culture they work in, they could see if you
are a match a give you an introduction.
Your next position is not going to come from an online job posting, that’s
statistically proven. The value of networking is and always will be a great tool.
Although technology has revolutionized how we live, work, and job-hunt – you
have a greater chance of landing your next job if you have what I call a “warm
lead” for the interview. I’ve known numerous examples of job candidates
who’ve had interviews simply as a result of recommendations from credible
contacts.
When you participate in networking events, you go beyond networking; you
make business partners. You make alliances and surround yourself with experts
in every field that, with time, become your own board of directors!
Become effective at networking by recognizing the importance of alliances

with influential groups and other partners. Build up and maintain good contacts
or working relationships with them.
Another way to expand your circle, is becoming acquaintance of your friend
and being more inclusive. Diversity isn’t just a buzzword these days. It’s an
essential part of connecting you not only to your industry, but also to the rest
of the world. Embrace diversity: value differences in gender, culture, opinions,
values, perspectives, ideas, skills, expertise, knowledge, and experiences.
Manage and leverage diversity to maximize effectiveness not only at work but
also in life.
Another aspect that is more subtle about networking but a huge bonus is the
opportunity to “experiment”. Getting together in professional settings allows
you to practice and refine your elevator pitch as well as hone your
communication skills. It can also be a laboratory to try out your latest
presentation to see if it works or needs to be tweaked. Every time you’re “on”
in front of others, you build your confidence. You get valuable, immediate
feedback so when your big opportunity arises, you’re assured to succeed!
Along with face-to-face networking, you need to have a professional online
presence. The benefits of networking is partially why social media is sky
rocketing. Sites such as are complementary to old
fashioned networking, but it’s certainly not taking its place.
While we are discussing about social media – people are using Twitter for job-
hunting purposes now, too. In fact, there is actually a www.tweetmyjobs.com
service that is available. It’s all about creativity in this market. Use the
traditional way of speaking face to face to people you know, and extend your
circle to Social Media as well. It’s not one or the other; it’s the right balance
among all of them.
Resume: Travel Log of Your Vocational Journey
I have a travel log to capture the places I visit. It keeps my emotions recorded
in sync, but also allows me to reflect on the places I’ve been and remember
the astonishing features that I’ve encountered (i.e. the image of a pristine lake

on a moonlit night). I smile every time I review my log as I revisit each place
anew. These musings make me think how much I have traveled and what I
learned at each stop. How big was the learning curve for you these days when
you read a Job description?
It’s similar in today’s job market. You’ve learned tools and special skills and
had lots of life education. All of your experiences make you the rich, diverse
woman you are today. But things continue to morph and change, and this
includes the standard resume!
An overwhelming majority of resumes are now being electronically scanned.
It’s critical that women understand the keys success in this changing landscape.
We are now in a “keyword driven marketplace”. This means when you respond
to a job posting, chances are, that your resume is scanned and filtered through
sophisticated software that searches for certain keywords that are most
relevant to the potential employer.
There are thing that define a time, fashion for example, may change, but
neatness never goes out of style. Check and double-check your resume for
correct spelling and grammar. One headhunting firm said that as many as 2/3
of the resumes they receive have typos and are ultimately rejected primarily
for that reason.
Your cover letter should be specific and address the company you’re trying to
impress. Write in your best style but try to keep it neat, concise, and direct.
Try to customize each cover letter for each prospective employer to highlight
how you best fit the position and how your skills will allow you to succeed.
Being specific in your cover letter shows to the employer that you’ve
researched the position and that you care about the job (instead of just about
being employed in general). As with the resume, one typo can be a disaster.
For both resumes and cover letters, get as much help as you can from others.
Your final paragraph of the cover letter is, in a sense, the hardest to write
because it is so tempting to rely on stock phrasing. You must resist that
temptation. Even a little change, like "I am eager to hear from you," instead of

the usual, "I am looking forward to hearing from you," can make the difference
between personal and boilerplate.
Watching the Road Signs: Emerging Trends
The workplace and the economy keep changing so it’s important to do research
especially if you’re trying to transfer skills from one industry to another.
Watch the signs!
Please be aware that hard skills, ones that can be tested such as computer
competencies and foreign language skills are particularly sought after in
today’s marketplace. However, please be aware that the “fuzzy /warm” skills
or “intangible” skills (i.e. soft skills) have grown to be equally important in this
market.
Some facts that may help you:
• The proportion of workers who use a computer at work was higher for
women (61.8 percent) than for men (49.9 percent)
• Employed women had a greater likelihood of using the Internet at work
than employed men (45.1 and 38.7 percent, respectively)
• Asians were more likely than Caucasian, African-American, or Latinos to
use a computer and the Internet at work
• Workers with more education were more likely to use a computer at
work
In terms of occupation, there were large variations in the proportion of workers
who used a computer at work. Managers and professionals had a high rate of
computer use (about 80 percent) and sales and office workers (67 percent).
Only about 26 percent of workers used a computer while working in natural
resources, construction, and maintenance and production, transportation, and
material moving occupations.
Accessing the Internet and using email are the most commonly reported tasks
for 77 million workers who used a computer at work.
So as you can see, if you’re not up-to-date on technology, you’re in the minority.
We all look for stability but life is changing in gigantic steps. It would be wise to

not only to get used to it, but to embrace any opportunity that arises. Changes are
coming at a faster pace than ever before.
Navigation System Co-creator
Maximizing your chances of employment in a constantly changing marketplace
takes more than a good track record. You need a trustworthy road map with
practical steps to get you there.
At this stage in your life, it’s about finding or creating a job that suits and
rewards your skill set while maintaining balance and satisfaction. Mentors (or
coaches) are the answer when navigating the crossroads. There are two types
of mentors available to you, they include: insider mentors – professionals in
your organization, and external mentors – colleagues outside your organization,
both of which can ensure you reach your fullest potential.
Insider mentors, people that you trust in an organization, can encourage and
help you move up the ladder. These experienced and generous people devote
time to preparing the next generation without concern about their job
security. They’re available to give you valuable advice when you need it most.
But it’s external mentors (or coaches), like myself, that will give you the
advantage. Here’s why: we look from the outside, without the emotional
baggage of people who know you and your history. When your wheels are
spinning, you need someone who listens deeply and can look underneath the
surface, surveying your skills and talent to help you discover your bliss. Without
judgment, yet, with great empathy, understanding and the right skills of
coaching, we can help immediately.
This is my greatest passion.
As a trained, professionally certified mentor and coach, my expertise is in
bringing professionals to a new level of skill and understanding. My
multicultural mentoring process was cultivated through professional training
and supplemented by my diverse experiences. I will help you grow
professionally, discover your passions, focus your energy, and ultimately ensure
that you can create an impact on your organization and on the people around

you.
I teach with insight, sensitivity and great sense of humor. My integrated
approach will define your life’s plan, both personal and professional. And since
you are unique and one-of-a-kind, my coaching style is completely customized
to you.
You’ll learn how to:
• Find your passion,
• Create plans and objectives, and
• Clarify your vision and strengthen your assets.
I understand firsthand the competitiveness of the global business environment,
what business leaders expect from their employees and the importance of
value creation and bottom-line results for organizations.
My brand is authentic. I call things as they are.
When executives are stuck, I give them solutions. After working with me, they
feel successful and accomplished. I work with highly accomplished people, and
it’s rewarding on both sides. I propose an idea. They elaborate on it, and then
the magic is created. I’m only the copilot of the journey.
Employment is just one piece of life’s tapestry. Relationships, personal
passions and discovering one’s own creativity are all equal parts of life’s fullest
experience. We’ll explore all aspects of your world, what defines who you are,
what blocks you, what drives you jump out of bed in the morning smiling. We’ll
get you there. And you’ll be surprised and amazed at all the positive changes
you can create.
Integrity, confidentially and a proven record of success precedes me. Together,
we’ll navigate the crossroads. With a detailed map in place, I’ll be in the
passenger seat, helping you negotiate the tricky twists and turns, and keep you
on the path, no matter what obstacles appear.
I’m ready to be your coach, and your biggest cheerleader. You will take the
most exciting ride of your life. Get the key, and let’s go! Click Here:
/>Author’s Bio

Alexandra B. Kelemen is a senior Executive Coach with global expertise in
Organizational Change and Cross-Cultural Communications. She holds an MBA in
International Business and is a PCC Certified Professional Coach by the ICF
International Coach Federation.
For the last 22+ years, she has worked in the personal development field. Her
combination of psychology training and unique cross-cultural background brings
an uncommon dimension to her coaching methodology. Alexandra is a specialist
in HR and speaks four languages. She has held several international positions
and served for many years as a professional in the United Nations.
She is a senior consultant for NetExpat, bringing a rich mix of experience,
techniques and passion to her work. As an internationally recognized expert in
the field of personal transformation, she has developed many workshops over
the years. Her work has been published in Forbes, Northern Trust Magazine,
Serendipity Magazine, Greenwich Times, Westchester Hispano, Task.fm and
HamletHub.com, Greenwich among others.
Alex is an active member of the community and has hold many
boards: President of the International Coach Federation CT 2011-2012;
President BNI Greenwich chapter; NAWBO-NYC board VP Diversity and Public
Policy; and Woman Graduates USA, Communication Committee Social Media,
among others.
I’m ready to be your coach, and your biggest cheerleader. You will take the
most exciting ride of your life. Get the key, and let’s go!
Click Here:
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