How to read people like a book speed read, analyze, and understand anyones body languag

HOW TO READ PEOPLE LIKE A
BOOK
SPEED-READ, ANALYZE, AND UNDERSTAND
ANYONE'S BODY LANGUAGE, EMOTIONS, AND
THOUGHTS


CHASE HILL


Copyright © 2023 by Chase Hill
All rights reserved.
The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without
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CONTENTS
Your Free Say No Checklist
Introduction
Chapter One: The Art of Reading Other People
Chapter Two: Ready, Set, Read
Chapter Three: Verbal Cues: Reading Between the Lines
Chapter Four—Part One: Digging Deeper into Social Cues: The Face
Chapter Four—Part Two: Digging Deeper into Social Cues: The Body
Chapter Four—Part Three: Digging Deeper into Social Cues: Other Things to Look Out
For
Chapter Five: Putting It All Together: Specific Situations Using Social Cues
Chapter Six: Reading the Tone of a Text or Email
Chapter Seven: Reading Nonverbal Cues: Junior Edition
Chapter Eight: The Power of Cues: How to Know When Someone’s Lying
Conclusion
Resources



YOUR FREE SAY NO CHECKLIST


DON’T LET THE PEOPLE PLEASING TRAP YOU AGAIN...
I’d like to give you a gift as a way of saying thanks for your purchase!

This checklist includes:

8 steps to start saying no.
12 must-dos to stop feeling guilty.
9 healthy ways to say no.
The last thing we want is for your mood to be ruined because you weren’t
prepared.
To receive your Say No Checklist, visit the link:
www.chasehillbooks.com
If you have any difficulty downloading the checklist, contact me at chase@
chasehillbooks.com, and I’ll send you a copy as soon as possible.



INTRODUCTION
Sarah had spent three years with her partner before she realized she had
made an abominable mistake. She had been lied to, humiliated in front of
her friends and family, cheated on, and heartbroken. She doubted her
judgments and instincts, felt alone, and couldn’t imagine being able to trust
again.
How did she finally come to this realization? She started to pay more
attention to her partner's body language and non-verbal cues than she did to
the words that came out of his mouth!
Many of us feel the ability to read people is a superhuman skill that is out of
our reach, something that is saved for fictional characters such as Sherlock
Holmes. If you have seen the latest series, Benedict Cumberbatch does an
incredible job of portraying Sherlock’s awkwardness in social situations.
But, whether it’s portrayed by Cumberbatch or in the original writings of
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes has a level of people-reading
skills that most of us desire.
Imagine being able to walk into a room and know someone overslept
because of a toothpaste stain on their shirt. Or before a person even speaks,

you know they are about to tell you a lie. For Sarah, and thousands of other
people, this skill would save a lot of pain!
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t
being said.”
— PETER F. DRUCKER
From a very young age, we are told to listen. Listen to your teacher, listen
to what your parents tell you, respect your elders and listen. We aren’t
taught how to actively listen, but what is worse is that with all this emphasis
on listening, we neglect the super skill that Sherlock has—the ability to
observe.


You may have seen various statistics on the importance of body language,
but one of the most significant studies comes from Professor Albert
Mehrabian. His research in the 1970s showed that only 7 percent of our
communication comes from the words we use. Body language accounts for
55 percent, which may not surprise you. However, 38 percent of our
communication is conveyed by our tone of voice and pitch.
Mehrabian himself explained that the 7-38-55 ratio was seen when people
were talking about their emotions. Nevertheless, if you want your
communication to be meaningful and honest, it requires emotions. In
Sarah’s case, she had based her entire relationship on 7 percent of
communication. She had missed out on a massive part of human interaction.
This doesn’t just have an impact on how you read others and your
interpretation of social interactions. Not being aware of your own nonverbal cues affects your ability to effectively communicate every message
you want to get across. There is no exaggeration here—every message!
It’s human nature to want to feel like you belong. When you struggle to
communicate, one of the first things that happens is that you start to feel
isolated from others. Sometimes, you avoid social situations; other times,
you may be physically present but so worried about the impression you

make or how you are interpreted that you don’t risk engaging with others.
This isolation can lead to serious mental health conditions, especially
anxiety.
Because you have been relying on verbal communication, there can often
be a lot of trust issues surrounding your interactions. It’s incredibly hard to
know where you stand with someone when their verbal and non-verbal
messages are conflicting. The same can be said for others trusting you.
Trust is fundamental for all our relationships.
Another human condition is the desire to please others, whether that’s your
parents, your children, your friends, or coworkers. How can you fulfill their
needs when you can’t get an accurate reading of them? It’s frustrating when
someone tells you they are okay but then acts completely differently.
You may have already tried to improve your ability to read others, but after
millions of results from an online search, you are left feeling more confused


than ever. Information overload quickly leads to analysis paralysis. Rather
than action, you sink farther into isolation.
The cycle is vicious. The more you start to doubt your own abilities, the
more the insecurities start to take over. It gets harder to trust yourself and
others and instead of risking the fear of rejection, it’s simply safer to
disconnect.
The end result is that your romantic relationships are tense, you struggle to
advance in your career, and you find yourself saying no to more and more
events. Your friends start to distance themselves, and you even doubt your
parenting skills because you don’t know whether you are coming or going.
You may tell yourself this is fine and you are perfectly happy with Netflix
and your sofa but eventually, this will take its toll. Social isolation can
cause depression, poor sleep, decreased heart health, and lower immunity. It
can be twice as harmful as obesity, both physically and mentally.

This is no way for anyone to live! Regardless of our background and
experiences, we all deserve to live the life we want, a happy one filled with
our passions. And regardless of your previous attempts, you do have the
ability to learn how to read absolutely anyone.
We are going to begin with the basics of reading people, and what social
cues are in relation to both verbal and non-verbal communication. We will
discover how to understand what other people are feeling based on signals
from various parts of their bodies, as well as how to detect emotions when
face-to-face communication isn’t possible.
By the end of this book, you will be able to effectively read adults, children,
teenagers, and even those with personality disorders who are experts at
hiding their emotions.
It has taken me over a decade to master the skill of speed-reading others.
Like you, I had severe issues misinterpreting people, creating barriers, and
living in continuous conflict. My own journey led me to become a life
coach and my drive to help others only grew from there.
My personal and professional experiences as a personal growth, stress
management, and social interaction specialist motivated me to publish


books on topics that drive me. After my book How to Stop Overthinking
became a #1 bestseller on Amazon in both the UK and the US, I knew I
could keep reaching more people and helping them turn their lives around.
And this is where we are today. No change is easy, but we can make it
easier with simple-to-follow strategies that you can start implementing right
away. Knowledge is power and your knowledge begins with what it really
means to be able to read someone.

CHAPTER ONE: THE ART OF READING OTHER
PEOPLE
study of gestures is far from new. The ancient Greeks and Romans
T he
studied gestures intensely in drama schools. Even throughout the Middle
Ages, written documents were often made official through gestures because
the majority of people couldn’t read or write. For the illiterate a verbal
agreement and a handshake would have been used over a written contract.
Anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell coined the term kinesics in 1952. His
definition of the study and interpretation of body movements included
facial expression, gestures, posture, and gait, as well as visible arm and
body movements.
Today, kinesics is the technical term for body language and encompasses
facial expression, gestures, eye contact, head position, body shape and
posture, and even appearance. Birdwhistell didn’t like the term body
language because he didn’t view our movements as something that could be
defined as a language but more of a grammar that we could analyze.
Kinesics is probably one of the most well-known forms of non-verbal
communication. It’s how we convey a message without verbal or written
words. Kinesics can also help to clarify a verbal message although, without
the skill of reading people, it can also confuse a message.
Let’s begin with a definition of reading people.
What Does Reading People Actually Mean
Most of us can remember our parents at one point threatening us with the
idiom “I can read you like a book” in the hope of catching us in a lie. The
dictionary definition shows how it goes beyond looking for signs of the
truth. To read someone like a book means you are able to “easily understand
the true thoughts and feelings of (someone) by looking at how that person
acts or behaves.” (Merriam-Webster, 2022).
When you look at a person, whether close up or from a distance, and form

opinions about them based on the way they look or move, you are reading


them. We create all these opinions before a person actually speaks. When
communication begins and you continue to read a person, your opinions
may change. You may discover that your initial thoughts were wrong or you
can confirm your original belief.
Much like Sherlock Holmes, FBI profilers and other law enforcement
specialists pay extreme detail to people. Their people-reading skills include
observational, psychological, and analytical techniques. There are many
leaders in the world who also use similar techniques in order to motivate
and inspire.
These experts are obviously good at reading the minute changes in a person,
but their skills extend farther than this. They will take into consideration a
person’s appearance and how they dress. Something as simple as a tattoo or
necklace can indicate culture or beliefs.
In the following chapter, we will look at the skill sets that make experts so
good at reading people. For now, it’s important to remember that reading
people is a skill that anyone can learn, but it is also an ongoing process that
needs to be practiced as often as possible.
Why People-Reading Skills Are Essential
Have you ever walked up to a professor, coworker, or boss to ask a favor
and had your head bitten off for no apparent reason? It’s not like you were
asking for a kidney but the response shocked you. At the most basic level,
learning how to read people helps prevent you from approaching a person
or situation in the wrong way.
Being able to read people means you know when it’s the right time to ask
for something and when it is better to steer well clear of them. It helps you
see when someone might be feeling emotional or when they need help.
When you can recognize another person’s emotions before they speak, you

can prepare yourself so the conversation becomes more productive. If you
can see that a person is sad or depressed rather than being antisocial, your
reactions are different. You don’t feel negative towards them. Instead, your
level of empathy increases and you offer support.


This is such a crucial skill because you are able to adapt your
communication in a way that makes the other person more likely to receive
it. And this isn’t just necessary for our social interactions. Life at home
becomes so much easier when you can read the best time to bring up certain
matters.
Take teenagers and toddlers, for example. The energy levels of a toddler are
often all over the place. When a parent can see that their child is tired,
nervous, or preoccupied, there is little point in asking them to tidy their toys
unless you want to risk a tantrum. You wouldn’t want to talk to a teenager
about sex or drugs when they are agitated or stressed out about exams.
Teenagers are notorious for not talking about their feelings. Toddlers aren’t
yet aware of their emotions and how to express them. Parents need this
super skill to better communicate with their children and ease the tension.
New relationships can be like walking through a minefield. Red flags can
pop up at any time, warning us of danger. If you notice your partner tends to
speak in a loud tone, exaggerate their hand gestures, or get impatient while
you are talking, you could be dealing with a narcissist. Something that you
might not discover soon enough if you rely on verbal communication alone.
Understanding what all these non-verbal messages are telling you is a form
of self-protection from potential pain and danger. It allows you to get better
at trusting your instincts and creating relationships with various people that
are genuine and meaningful.
Because, in general, we are not very good at reading people or their
emotions, by improving our skills, we can help those who aren’t as good at

or comfortable expressing their emotions and with overall communication.
If you can see that a person is shy or feeling awkward just by looking at
them, you can adapt your body language to help them feel safe and relaxed.
This way, the conversation is more likely to flow in a positive way and they
are more inclined to open up. Sharing emotions increases empathy and
trust.
Life is so much more fulfilling when we are able to improve how another
person is feeling rather than making them feel worse. Your non-verbal


communication can show others that you are listening, paying attention, and
engaged. This makes others feel special and respected!
Why Do People Struggle to Honestly Express Their Feelings
Another reason why we need to get better at reading people is because some
aren't good at expressing their emotions. Society frowns upon expressing
certain emotions, especially those that break the norms. Even today, in
some cultures, it’s still accepted for men to show anger and aggression but
not sadness or fear. A woman who asserts herself is rarely seen in the same
way as her male counterpart.
Depending on the society or culture a person lives in, expressing emotions
could be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. When we fear
vulnerability, really we are scared of being rejected or abandoned, and we
naturally don’t want to get hurt. It feels like it’s easier to put this emotional
barrier up around us.
The other problem is that many people just aren’t aware of their emotions.
Between not knowing how to feel and feeling as if they cannot express
certain emotions, it can be hard to talk about how they truly feel and even to
trust their own feelings.
Still, if we want to communicate effectively and strengthen our
relationships, we can’t ignore the role emotions play. We are seeing

improvements in emotional awareness with the promotion of emotional
intelligence, but until we change our way of thinking, we have to rely on
our people-reading skills for the full picture.
Years ago, I was at a party talking to a group of men, all laughing and
joking about the antics they go through with their children. The mood was
relaxed and by watching the people in the group, I could see that everyone
was comfortable with the level of sharing.
Someone then changed the conversation to their partner, still joking, and
most of the group continued to laugh and nod in agreement. One man,
however, didn’t. His gaze moved to his hand and his thumb rubbed the area
where a wedding ring used to sit. The crow’s feet around his eyes faded and
a small frown appeared.


Reading these signs, I knew that his marriage had ended, and probably
fairly recently. From here, I was able to change the topic of conversation
again so that he didn’t have to keep listening to stories that would cause him
further pain. It felt good and motivated me to learn more about this
invaluable skill.
Assessing Your People-Reading Skills
So, how good are your current people-reading skills? Let’s use this final
section to gauge how good you are and where you can improve. Remember,
there is no pass or fail here. It’s just to get a baseline.
1. How often are your first impressions accurate?
● Always
● Most of the time
● Sometimes
● Hardly ever
2. How often do you pick up on subtle jokes?
● Always

● Most of the time
● Sometimes
● Hardly ever
3. How observant do you think you are?
● Extremely
● Somewhat
● Not very
● Not at all
4. Can you spot when someone is acting differently from usual?
● Definitely


● In some situations
● Not often
● I don’t know what is considered usual
5. How much of a conversation do you spend doing the talking?
● 25%
● 50%
● 75%
● 100%
6. What does it mean when somebody leans away from you?
● They are scared of me
● They are drawing a conclusion about me
● It’s a negative reaction but I’m not sure what
● I don’t know
7. What part of the body will a person rub if they are lying
● Their eyes
● Their forehead
● Their nose
● Their lips

8. Which do you consider more positive?
● Palms facing down
● Palms facing up
● Palms in their lap but closed
9. How long is the ideal amount of eye contact


● Around one second
● Three seconds
● Five seconds
10. Which of the following statements do you think are true?
● Men and women have different non-verbal cues
● There are some universal non-verbal cues
● Non-verbal cues change with age
● Culture can play a difference in body language
In this chapter, you have discovered that reading people’s movements and
behavior, not just hearing their words, is highly beneficial to your personal
and professional relationships. While it sounds like a skill reserved for
gifted people, it is something that you are more than capable of doing—all
you need is the right information and practice.
Before jumping into the next chapter, check how did on the self-assessment
quiz. The first five questions are subjective and will help with selfawareness. Here are the answers for questions six to ten:
6) Generally, when someone leans away from you it is negative
7) They will rub their nose, and you will discover why in our chapter about
lying
8) Palms facing up is a positive sign
9) Experts believe three seconds of eye contact before breaking away is
ideal
10) All of the statements are true

CHAPTER TWO: READY, SET, READ
I am a huge fan of Criminal Minds. Although I love a good
I confess
thriller in any case, this has to be my favorite series because it’s not so
much about figuring out who did it as the process the profilers use to
discover and capture the criminal.
Criminal profiling goes back to at least the 1880s and the hunt for the
notorious Jack the Ripper in England. Two physicians, George Phillips and
Thomas Bond, were able to predict the personality of Jack the Ripper based
on clues at a crime scene. It wasn’t until around sixty years later that the
advantages of this skill really came to light.
In the 1940s, there were over thirty random bombings in New York. The
bomber stopped during the Second World War but in 1950, when the New
York Public Library and Grand Central Station were attacked, the police, at
a loss, turned to psychiatrist James A. Brussel.
By using psychiatric and psychoanalytic methods, as well as common
sense, Brussel was able to give a detailed description of the bomber, George
Metesky, even down to the type of jacket he would be wearing when
arrested (which Brussel was right about).
In the 1970s, criminal profiling saw another major advancement.
Supervisory FBI agents John E. Douglas (also known as the serial killer
whisperer) and Robert Ressler interviewed thirty-six serial killers and
created the database ViCAP, Violent Criminal Apprehension Program. This
program recorded behavioral patterns and allowed law enforcement to
match details of crimes to the patterns of other violent criminals, leading to
the capture of some of history's most gruesome serial killers, such as
Charles Manson and Ted Bundy.
FBI agents today acknowledge that reading people isn’t something that only

professionals can do. As LaRae Quy, an FBI counterintelligence agent for
twenty-three years, said, “You don’t need to be a top-notch interrogator to
figure out what is going on in someone’s head. The signals are always there
—all you need to do is know what to look for.”


We will begin by taking a closer look at how criminal profilers learn to read
people, before actually considering an individual's body language.

Factors That May Affect How You Read People
First off, we have to consider different cultures and non-verbal cues. It
would be wrong to assume everyone expresses the same body language. A
handshake is a perfect example. You may be used to receiving a firm
handshake and having the feeling that the other person is confident—if
you’re used to a Western culture. Coming from the Far East, this gesture
would be seen as aggressive. In Northern Europe, a quick handshake is
appropriate, but Southern European and American cultures prefer a longer
handshake.
The amount of contact in general will vary from culture to culture. Latin
America, Southern Europe, and Middle Eastern countries are considered
high-contact cultures, and you will notice more touching and people
standing closer when speaking. Northern European countries as well as
North America use medium levels of contact, whereas the Far East is very
much a low-contact culture.
Hand gestures can be a real faux pax when used in different cultures. A
palm falling upwards with the index finger curling inwards is often seen as
a signal to come closer but in Asian countries, the same gesture is
incredibly rude. The “thumbs-up” is only a sign of a good job in Europe and
America. In Greece and the Middle East, your “thumbs-up” means “up
yours.”

And of course, eye contact is one of the most frequently talked about areas
of body language and we are constantly reminded of the need for good eye
contact. However, in Asia, it’s disrespectful to make eye contact.
Even within cultures, your people-reading skills will have to take into
consideration different personality types. On the most basic level, we have
introverts and extroverts. Experts have noticed that introverts tend to be
more rigid in social situations, particularly when it comes to arm