Change One Thing Discover What''''s Holding You Back and Fix It With the Secrets of a Top Executive Image Consultant_8 docx

GET THE JOB THAT WORKS FOR YOU

193
cut-to-the-chase cover letters
Keep in mind that human resource managers and recruiters get
hundreds of letters seeking employment, so here are some ways
to help your letter rise to the top of the pile:
Keep it short.
Y
I’m talking about no more than a page, and
preferably only a few paragraphs. People are too busy to
slog through a long narrative.
Lose the “To Whom It Concerns.”
Y
This salutation has
gone the way of the vinyl record. Use the person’s name
instead. If you don’t know it, use the person’s title, but it’s
best to personalize whenever possible. For more formal
companies, use Mr. or Ms.; for less formal, use either the
first name or both the first and last.
Forget phrases like
Y
in regard to. Get to the point quickly:
“This is a response to your job listing on Monster.com for
an advertising copywriter.”
Drop a referral name in the first line.
Y
If someone sug-
gested that you contact a particular person about a job and
gave you permission to use his or her name, do it in the
first line. Personal recommendations mean a lot.

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195

POSTSCRIPT
Do You Feel Different?
no W T h a T y o u
YY
have finished the book and have done some
or all of the exercises, one of two things has undoubtedly hap-
pened: You either feel like a different person than you were
before, or you have a better understanding of what you need to
do to strengthen your image so that you can achieve the confi-
dence and recognition you deserve. If you are afraid to make a
change in your life, you are not alone. But during my career as
an image consultant, I have found that the more committed a
person is to change, the greater the rewards. I hope that after
reading this book, you have stopped the excuses and the nega-
tive thinking that have been holding you back.
Even though a lot of my advice is about altering your out-
ward style and behavior, the most important change you can
make starts on the inside. It’s about believing in yourself. It’s
about envisioning yourself as the person you want to be, or in
the job you’ve always dreamed of having. Whether you needed
196

CHANGE ONE THING
to make a small change or a monumental one (or maybe mul-
tiple changes), you are doing the work that needs to be done. As
Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species

that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one
that is most adaptable to change.” So good luck with your per-
sonal or professional evolution!
Please sign up for my monthly newsletter or contact me with
questions by going to personalimagesinc.com. I want to hear
how your transformation is going!

197

RECOMMENDED
READING
Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
Body Language, Julius Fast
Body Language in the Workplace, Julius Fast
Brag: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It,
Peggy Klaus
Career Match, Shoya Zichy
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High,
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al
Switzler
Dress Smart Men, Kim Johnson Gross and Jeff Stone
Dress Smart Women, Kim Johnson Gross and Jeff Stone
Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
The Etiquette Advantage in Business, Emily Post and Peter Post
Executive Charisma, D. A. Benton
Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the
World, Roger E. Axtell
How Not to Look Old, Charla Krupp
How to Say It, Rosalie Maggio
198

RECOMMENDED READING
How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie
In Style: Secrets of Style, Editors of In Style Magazine
Looks: Why They Matter More than You Ever Imagined, Gordon
L. Patzer, Ph.D.
Networking Magic, Rick Frishman
Networlding: Building Relationships and Opportunities for
Success, Melissa Giovagnoli and Jocelyn Carter-Miller
The Platinum Rule, Tony Alessandra, Ph.D.
Plus Style, Suzan Nanfeldt
Power Etiquette, Dana May Casperson
Say It Like Obama: The Power of Speaking with Purpose and
Vision, Shel Leanne and Shelly Leanne
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey
Talking from 9 to 5, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.
The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
The Twenty-One Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John C.
Maxwell
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith

199

CLOTHING AND
ACCESSORY
LISTS BY PRICE
MEN WOMEN
Suits, jackets,
Y Y
Suits, jackets,

and separates slacks, and skirts
$200–$300 $200–$300
Chaps Kasper
Dockers Style & Co. (Macy’s)
Haggar NY Collection
Stafford (JCPenney) Evan Picone
Merona (Target) Michael Kors
Kenneth Cole
Worthington (JCPenney)
Talbots
Ann Taylor
200

CLOTHING AND ACCESSORY LISTS BY PRICE
MEN WOMEN
Suits
Y Y
Suits
$495–$900 $495–$900
Alfani (Macy’s) Anne Klein New York
Nautica Lafayette 148
Calvin Klein Hugo Boss Women’s
Inc. International (Macy’s) Eileen Fisher
Ralph Lauren Ellen Tracy
Tasso Elba Classiques Entier (Nordstrom)
$700–$1,200 $700–$1,200
Hart Schaffner Marx St. John Knits
Joseph Abboud Armani Collezioni
Boss Dana Buchman
$1,200–$3,500 $1,200–$3,500

Oxford Donna Karan Collection
Hickey Freeman Escada
Nicky Hilton Burberry
Armani Ralph Lauren Blue or
Burberry Black Label
Armani
$4,000 and up $4,000 and up
Brioni Versace
Shirts
Y Y
Shirts and Blouses
$19.99–$39.99 $19.99–$39.99
Haggar Worthington (JCPenney)
Arrow H&M
CLOTHING AND ACCESSORY LISTS BY PRICE

201
Chaps Simply Vera
Croft and Barrow (Kohl’s) Croft and Barrow (Kohl’s)
Stafford Chaps
Claiborne Joseph A
$65–$125 $65–$125
Nordstrom Smartcare NY Collection
Calvin Klein Jones New York
Boss Alfani (Macy’s)
Claiborne Ann Taylor
Talbots
$125–$250 $125–$250
Robert Graham Eileen Fisher
Versace Dana Buchman

Boss Lafayette
Burberry Michael Kors
Ben Sherman Calvin Klein
John Varvatos JS Collections
Shoes
Y Y
Shoes
$50–$100 $50–$100
Rockport Nine West
Born Vaneli
Bass Me Too
Dockers Circa Joan & David
Calvin Klein Clarks
Florsheim Villager (Kohl’s)
Naturalizer Simply Vera
Bostonian Liz Claiborne
Clarks Naturalizer
202

CLOTHING AND ACCESSORY LISTS BY PRICE
MEN WOMEN
Shoes
Y Y
Shoes
$100–$250 $100–$250
Cole Haan Via Spiga
Johnston & Murphy Bruno Magli
Kenneth Cole Reaction Munro
Hampton (Nordstrom) Soft Spot
ENZO Angiolini

$250–$750 $250–$500
Allen-Edmonds Paul Green
Cole Haan Donald J. Pliner
Mezlen (Nordstrom) Tanya Rose
Bruno Magli Stuart Weitzman
Ferragamo Ferragamo
Belts
Y Y
Belts
$50–150 $25–$150
Nordstrom Simply Vera
Dockers Lauren by Ralph Lauren
Bass Nordstrom
Boss Brighton
Cole Haan
$150 and up $150 and up
Ferragamo Ferragamo
John Varvatos Michael Kors
Coach Coach
CLOTHING AND ACCESSORY LISTS BY PRICE

203
BRIEFCASES (MEN AND WOMEN)
Tumi
Coach
STORES (MEN AND WOMEN)
Discount
Y
T. J. Maxx
Nordstrom Rack

Marshall’s
Loehmann’s
Low Cost
Y
Target
Kohl’s
Midrange
Y
Macy’s
Lord & Taylor
Dillard’s
Mid to High End
Y
Nordstrom
Saks
Bloomingdales
204

CLOTHING AND ACCESSORY LISTS BY PRICE
STORES (MEN AND WOMEN)
High End
Y
Neiman Marcus
Barney’s
Bergdorf Goodman
Online Only
Y
QVC.com
Overstock

205

INDEX
Abboud, Joseph, 55
Abbreviations, e-mail, 131
Affirmations, 59–61, 156, 159–61
Age, concerns about, 16–19
Alcohol at business meals, 107
Alessandra, Tony, 72
Allstate Insurance Company, xiii
American dining style, 107
Anderson, Pamela, 69
Anna’s Better Networking Tips,
96–98
Anna’s Business Image Tips,
74–77
Anna’s Designer Shopping List, 35
Anna’s Reality Checks
clothes and age, 17
easier presentations, 7–8
tailoring clothes, 58
Anna’s Social-Image Tips, 109–14
Anna’s Tips for Successful
Interviewing, 173–74
Annual reviews, 89–91
Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating
Disorders, 61
AOL survey, 54
Apple shape, 55–56
Arms

condition of, 53
folded, 49, 152
positioning, 49, 50
Assertiveness, 87, 157
Attachments, e-mail, 130
Attractiveness, perceived lack of, 11–13
Belts, 41, 56, 184
Black, 33
Blaming, 79–80
Blink test, 42
Blue, 31, 33
Body image, 47–70
inner supermodel and, 61–62
quiz, 48–53
wardrobe and, 54–59
Will Powers for improving, 59–61
Body odor, 77–78
Body size. See Weight/body size
Body types, 54–57
Boredom, 82–83
Bosses
bad, 91–93
dressing like, 34–37
insufficient face time with, 86
206

INDEX
Bracelets, 36
Bras, 59
Bread-and-butter plate, 108

Breakaway, 113
Breakfast meetings, 104
Breast enhancements and reductions,
69
Briefcases, 27, 183
Brown, 33
Brownnosing, 78–79
Buffet dining, 103
Business cards, 102–3
Business gurus, 5
Business style, 71–98
allowing partners to shine, 76–77
Anna’s Tips, 74–77
annual reviews of, 89–91
bad habits, 77–80
negative image, 85–87
quiz, 72–74
Career changes, 83–85. See also Job
changes
CareerBuilder.com, 23, 82
Casual Fridays, 27
Cell phone etiquette, 109
Chain letters, 131
China, 114
Cleavage, 59
Clichés, 126–27
Clinton, Hillary, 34
Clothes. See Wardrobe
Color, 31–34
Comb-overs, 18, 70, 184

Commercials, self-promotion, 93–94,
121
Communication style, 117–45
conversation tools (exercise),
136–38
e-mail, 128–32
first impressions (exercise), 138–40
handling complaints, 135–36
perceived deficiency in, 5–8
quiz, 118–22
sloppy speech habits, 125–27
speaker evaluation (exercise), 141–43
speech profile (exercise), 140–41
voice in, 122–25
words that sell, 127–28
words to use and avoid, 134–35
workplace (exercise), 144–45
written, 132–33
Complaints, handling, 135–36
Complexion, 31, 34, 53
Compliments, 52, 149
Continental dining style, 107
Conversation tools, 136–38
Cover letters, 193
Covey, Stephen, 5, 157
Credit hogging, 93
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking
When Stakes Are High (Patterson
et al.), 136
Cuffed pants, 41

Cultural differences, 102, 114–15
Data communications analysts, 84
Details (magazine), 42
Devil Wears Prada, The
(Weisenberger), 91
Diet, avoiding references to, 95
Dining rules, 103–9
Director (business style), 73
Disney, Walt, 2
Drama Queens, 80
Earrings, 36, 37
Eastern Europe, 114
Eating disorders, 61–62, 63–64
Education, perceived lack of, 2–5
Elderly persons, addressing, 103
E-mail etiquette, 128–32
Emoticons, 131
Entertaining business associates, 101
Enunciation, 121
Excuses, 1–22
I don’t communicate well, 5–8
I don’t have enough experience, 8–9
I was fired from my last job, 13–14
I’m not educated, 2–5
I’m too intelligent, 9–11
I’m too old, 16–19
I’m unattractive, 11–13
it’s too late for something new, 15
no one takes me seriously, 21–22
the world is against me, 19–20

INDEX

207
Exercise, 50, 63
Exit interviews, 75
Experience, perceived lack of, 8–9
Eye contact, 119, 151
Eyewear, 27
Face
pleasant expression on, 67–68
shape of, 53
Fast talkers, 124
Faux pas fixes, 110–14
Fidgeting, 21–22, 151
Firings/layoffs, 13–14, 75, 82
First impressions, 112, 138–40
Fist bump, 155
Fist clenching, 152
Food. See Dining rules
Formal wear, 28
Fragrances, 50, 78, 184
France, 102
Franken, Al, 156
French cuff shirts, 42
Gates, Bill, 2
General Electric, xiii
Germany, 114–15
Ginis, Kathleen Martin, 65–66
Golf, 102
Goofing off, 78

Google, 78
Gossip, 96, 113
GQ (magazine), 12, 42
Grammar, 126, 129, 191
Gravelly voice, 124
Gray, 33
Green, 33
Grey, Jennifer, 69
Gum snapping, 77
Hair style and care, 12, 16–17, 38, 51,
184
Hair transplants, 70
Handbags, 183
Handshake, 103, 151, 153–55
Harassment, sexual or psychological, 81
Heckling, dealing with, 111
Heels, 38
Height, enhancing, 52
Hemming and hawing, 125
High-pitched talkers, 123
Hourglass shape, 54–55
How Not to Look Old (Krupp), 69
Humor, 18–19
IBM, 31
Illness
avoiding references to, 96
coming to work with, 88–89
Inc. (magazine), 158
Information interviews, 169
Intelligence, overestimating, 9–11

Internships, 10
Interview style. See Job interviews
Introductions, 103–4
Inverted triangle shape, 55
Jackets
leather, 183
suit, 41
Jackson, Michael, 69
Japan, 115
Jargon, 133, 188
Jennings, Peter, 2
Jewelry, 29, 36–37, 182
Job changes, 81–83. See also Career
changes
Job interviews, 165–93
Anna’s Tips, 173–74
common mistakes, 170–73
dressing for, 26, 168, 182–84
follow-up to, 186–87
interviewee questions, 185–86
interviewer questions, 184–85
preparation checklist, 180
preparation worksheet, 176–79
quiz, 166–69
salary negotiations, 174–76
survival kit, 180
types of, 169
Jobs, Steve, 2
Jokes, ethnic or sexist, 112–13
Joseph, Glenn, 136

Kitchen cabinet, 157
Kors, Michael, 46
Krupp, Charla, 69
208

INDEX
Language difficulties, 5–8
Levine, Michael, 59–60
Likemind, 92
Lincoln, Abe, 2
LinkedIn, 104
Listening, 87, 121
Loud talking, 78
Low talkers, 122, 124–25
Lunch meetings, 104, 107
Lying, 88–89, 90, 171
Makeup, 12, 16, 17, 184
Makeup artists, 84
Marital status, avoiding references to,
96
Massachusetts Institute of Technology,
118
McDonald’s Corporation, xiii
McMaster University, 65
McMillan, Ron, 136
Men
age and appearance, 18
body image, 66
body types, 55, 56, 57
cosmetic products for, 12

eating disorders in, 64
jewelry for, 37
overweight, 65
wardrobe advice for, 35, 39–43
Men’s Health (magazine), 12
Men’s Journal (magazine), 12
Mexico, 102
Middle East, 115
Mispronouncing words, 126
Mistakes, admitting to, 90, 150–51
Modesty, excessive, 172
Money, avoiding references to, 96,
113
Monroe, Marilyn, 62–63
Monster.com, 95
Moore, Demi, 69
More (magazine), 12
Nail care, 51, 182
Names, appropriate use of, 103, 122
Napkin, proper placement of, 108
Nasal talkers, 124
National Association to Advance Fat
Acceptance (NAAFA), 62
Navy blue, 31, 40
Necklaces, 37
Neckties, 183
Negative thoughts, 157–63
Neiman Marcus, 42
Network systems analysts, 84
Networking, 15, 104

alternative to, 92
Anna’s Tips, 96–98
30- to 60-second commercial for,
93–94, 121
topics to avoid during, 95–96
No, learning to say, 156–57
Nordstrom, 42
Objective statement, on résumés, 188
Office squatters, 80
One-on-one interviews, 169
Optimism, 150
Orange, 32
Organization
of closet, 25–26
of thoughts, 121, 133
of work area, 86–87
Panel interviews, 169
Pants, 41, 55
Pantyhose, 38–39, 183
Parties, proper behavior at, 103, 110
Patterson, Kerry, 136
Peale, Norman Vincent, 157
Pear shape, 57
Personal and home-care aides, 84
Personal Images, Inc., xiii, 70, 196
Personal space, 119
Plastic surgery, 68–70
Plaxo, 104
Pleated pants, 41, 55, 56, 57
Politics, avoiding references to, 95

Polo shirts, 43
Portland, Alex, 118
Posture, 49
Power of Color, The (Walker), 32
Power of Positive Thinking, The (Peale),
157
INDEX

209
Preparation, lack of, 79, 170
Presentations
in job interviews, 181
tips for, 7–8
Promotions, 82
Public speaking, 120
Purple, 33
Questions, 122, 129, 184–86
Quizzes
body image, 48–53
business-protocol, 100–105
business style, 72–74
communication style, 118–22
interview style, 166–69
self-image, 148–52
social-protocol, 105–9
wardrobe, 24–29
Raises, 82
Recording oneself, 7, 21
Rectangle shape, 56
Red, 32

Relater (business style), 73–74
Religion, avoiding references to, 95
Restaurant checks, picking up, 104
Restaurant reservations, 109
Résumés, 187–92
Rings, 36, 37, 154
Ripa, Kelly, 58
Robbins, Tony, 157
Rudeness, dealing with, 111
Russia, 102
Ryan, Meg, 69
Saks, 42
Salad, cutting, 107
Salary, negotiating, 174–76
School, returning to, 85
Second City Improv Workshops, 76
Secret, The (Byrne), 157–58
Self-image, 147–63
banning negative thoughts, 157–63
quiz, 148–52
10 percent rule, 152–53
tips for boosting, 155–57
7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The
(Covey), 5, 157
Sharks, swimming from, 75–76
Shatner, William, 70
Shirts, 42, 183
Shoes, 38, 182, 184
Skin-care specialists, 84
Skirts, proper length of, 183

Slang, 125
Slow talkers, 123
Small talk, 97, 119, 151
Smiling, 3, 67–68, 149–50
Smoking, 78
Smolak, Linda, 59–60
Social image, 99–115
Anna’s Tips, 109–14
elegant social skills, 105
faux pas fixes, 110–14
multicultural, 102, 114–15
at parties, 103, 110
quizzes, 100–109
Socializer (business style), 74
Socks, 43
Speaker evaluation, 141–43
Speech profile, 140–41
Spelling, 129
Sport shirts, 42
Sporting events, dressing for, 29
Stanford University, 123
Stein, Ben, 123
Stewart, Patrick, 70
Success journal, 155–56
Suits, 18, 26, 28, 39–42, 183
Sun damage, avoiding, 18
Switzler, Al, 136
Tardiness, 21, 79, 88, 109
Tattoos, 37
Teen (magazine), 62

Teeth, caring for, 50
Telephone conversations, excessively
loud, 78
10 percent rule, 152–53
Thank-you notes, 98, 109, 186–87
Thinker (business style), 74
Three-button suits, 41, 56
Tipping, 108
210

INDEX
Toasts, 111
Toupees, 18, 70, 184
Toxic work environments, 81
Truman, Harry, 2
Two-button suits, 41
Two-faced behavior, 80
Two Million Dollar Club, xiii
University of Chicago, 161
University of Michigan, 113
Veterinarians, 84
Videotaping oneself, 2–3, 104
Visual assault, 67
Visualizations, 161–63
Voice, 122–25
Volunteering, 9, 156
Vreeland, Diana, 45
Walker, Morton, 32
Wardrobe, 11–12, 23–46
age and, 17, 18

Anna’s Designer Shopping List, 35
body type and, 54–57
classic vs. trendy vs. fad, 30
color of, 31–34
to enhance and camouflage, 57–59
fabric recommendations, 26, 40,
42, 43, 46
job interviews and, 26, 168, 182–84
message conveyed by, 34–36
proper fit, 43, 53, 58
quiz, 24–29
requirements for core, 44
spending allocation, 44–45
style of, 45
tailoring, 58
timing and, 46
travel, 27–28, 40–41
Washington, George, 2
Watches, 37
Websites, personal, 9
Weight/body size, 52
common myths about, 62–64
discrimination based on, 65
unhealthy ways of controlling,
61–62
the workplace and, 64–65
West, Mae, 62–63
Will Powers, 59–61
Willis, Bruce, 70
Wimpy words, 127

Women
age and appearance, 16–18
body image, 66–67
jewelry for, 36–37
overweight, 65
petite, 58
wardrobe advice for, 11–12, 35, 58
Workloads, excessively heavy, 82
Writing skills, 132–33
Yale Gender Communication Study, 51
Yelling, 93
Yellow, 32–33
YouTube, 104