UNDERSTANDING YOUR TODAY TO UNDERTAKE YOUR TOMORROWA revolutionary book, set to change the way we pptx

UNDERSTANDING YOUR TODAY
TO
UNDERTAKE YOUR TOMORROW
A revolutionary book, set to change the way we relate to people, manage our finances, and
perceive life, causing a change in our lives and our world.
BY
EHIKHAMEN SAMUEL OSAGIE
Copyright © 2012 by Ehikhamen Samuel Osagie.
ISBN: 978-978-919-080-5

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ehikhamen Samuel Osagie was born to the family of Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Ehikhamen on
the 9th day of October 1983, in a suburb at Ijora Badia area of Lagos State, Nigeria. He was
raised by God himself for this purpose as nothing his family had points to such a future.
He loves to learn, but loves more to teach what he knows. He has always had a passion
everyone around saw as a weakness, CHARITY. This attribute has, and is still pushing him to
selflessly commit himself to poverty alleviation in Nigeria and the world at large.
He is currently the president of SeafonWorld International, an organization that goes from
one secondary school to another to educate young Nigerians on financial literacy, with the goal
of inculcating good financial habits and reducing the growing rate of poverty and finally force it
on a downtrend.
He is also the president of Needy but not Poor, a non-profiting organization (NGO) that
believes there are no poor people in the world, just people needing love, information, inspiration,
hope, motivation, direction, etc. The organization has a vision of reducing poverty in Nigeria by
20% in 20yrs with the help of every Nigerian.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to God almighty who has given me life and life abundantly
through his son Jesus Christ. In times when everyone including myself thought life was useless
and that there were not enough reasons to believe there was a God, he was more than faithful.
Thank you.

This book is also dedicated to the loving memory of my late elder sister Ehikhamen
Juliana, who passed away on the 17th day of August 1997. To my parents, she was the best child
any parent could ask for, to me and the rest of my siblings, she was the best sister we ever had, to
our neighbours, she was the best neighbour they ever had, and to the world, she is the best thing
we ever lost. RIP.

Acknowledgement
This book wouldn’t be complete without acknowledging God almighty for grace to reach
my world through my pen. He has also been a great source of inspiration and strength in
compiling this book. Thank you.
To my mother who has been of great encouragement even when I was supposed to be kicked
out and talked down. You gave me hope for a time like this. Thank you and God bless you.
I owe a big hug and thanks to my best friend, Patricia Chinke, for believing in me when no
one wanted to be associated with me. Thank you.
Also to my friends, Tolulope Badejo, Nofisat Giwa, Barnabas Oledinma, Raymond Giwa,
John Agwu, Seun Aderibigbe, Mr. Wale, Pastor John omomila, Kenneth Iyoha, McDonald
Akhor, Olutoba Atobatele, just to mention a few, and if I didn’t mention your name, please bear
with me because I love you all and I am saying thank you.
To my siblings, Akomolede Caroline, Aighwokhian Eunice, Ebhohon Rita, and Ehikhamen
Joy, thank you for your love and support given to make me who and what I am today. Thank
you.
And to everyone I have ever come across, I am saying a very big thank you because your
encouragements, criticism, help and support put together, has brought about the passion to write
this book. Thank you.
***********************
CHAPTER 1
If you have received this book for free, borrowed it or got it as a present, I would like to
congratulate you in advance for the success that is achievable by studying this book. This book is
not one written by the best of expertise, but by the inspiration of God because the bible said in
Philippians 2:13 “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good

pleasure”. I say so because I had the title (Understanding your today to undertake your
tomorrow) way back in 2003 and wrote it down somewhere not knowing what the content will
be.
I started jotting notes and asking questions in 2004, and finally came up with the three
segments of this book which we will be talking about in a moment.
So many authors have written great books about these topics, but have succeeded in taking
them apart. In this book, I did my best with the help of the Holy Spirit to take the three most
important part of life and link them together to give you a pleasant read and to help you see what
I saw while putting this book together.
Now I want you to put aside your doubts that this is one more time wasting book, and let
low your expectation that this is the wonder book you have been waiting for. This book has no
power of its own, but will do for you what you desire it to do. If you desire it to be just a book
with letters and numbers so will it be, and if you desire it to be a source of inspiration,
motivation and reference, so will it be.
You would agree with me that to be successful in life, you have to be wise. If yes, then
wisdom should be our ultimate goal and the bible agrees with this in proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is
the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get
understanding”. If this is true that wisdom is a goal that must be achieved, the question should
be “how do we get wisdom?” I am sorry to announce to you that you cannot get wisdom but
instead seek knowledge. Note this Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed for lack of
knowledge: …” God did not say “Lack of wisdom”.
Knowledge is the acquisition of information for the purpose of use. This book contains
information you can use and that is exactly how I want you to see and read it. I want you to see
this book as a guide, as God talking to you in person through me and sharing his thoughts with
you and helping you find peace from within.
Now let’s get back to wisdom. Is it possible to see a man sitting in a chair, arms folded to
the chest and legs stretched out and call him a wise man? The simple answer is No. This is so
because to be called wise, you have to display wisdom, and from here I draw my definition that
“wisdom is the appropriate application of acquired knowledge at the right time and place”. When
you display an acquired knowledge at the right time and place, it is called wisdom and in it lie’s

the treasures of life (Proverbs 3:16 “Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left
hand riches and honour”) because it attracts influential and great people that would help you
in achieving your every vision to you. You can read this book over and over again until you can
recite it from cover page to back page, or even quote me all over town but that will only make
you as empty as you were before reading this book.
I implore you to practice everything in this book because wisdom is in doing as described by
Jesus in Mathew 7:24 “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine and DOETH
them, I will liken him unto a wise man, …”, and that’s not because it will make me popular
or make me rich, but will take you to a place of fulfillment where you never imagined.
I hope I have been able to give you a reason to want to continue with reading this book, as
you do, I hope you find it worth the time and money.
A wise man once said “If you forget yesterday, you’ve turned your back on
tomorrow”.
Now, I realized that so many of us hold on to yesterday and find it very hard to open up to
anything today, reasons being that we believe in such proverbs and has made it a part of our
lives. The apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have
apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and
reaching forth unto those things which are before,” Today I tell you “You can forget
yesterday, but do all you can to lay hold of TODAY or TOMORROW will turn its back on
you”.
TODAY is all that really determines tomorrow and not yesterday because yesterday has
done its part by determining today.
Until you understand today, undertaking tomorrow remains an uncertainty. Even our God is
a God of today; he judges per time, he considers the state of your heart per time and he leads per
time. In the beginning before creation, Genesis 1:2 “…And the spirit of God moved upon
the face of the waters” God’s Spirit moved upon the face of the waters because he needed to
get an understanding of the present situation, and that understanding are the awesome and
beautiful things we see today including man. This is why I can confidently say, YOUR LIFE
STARTS TODAY!
The information in this book is needed today and so is every other good and profiting

information; especially, in the Bible.
Now let’s begin. This book is sectioned in three, and they are Life & Living, Relationships
and Financial literacy. Looking at these sections by name, you would want to say “oh I already
know these things”, yes you do, but I have put it together by the help of the Holy Spirit in a way
you have never read, so please take time to read through and you just might find that one thing
you need to get there.
*************************
Life
&
Living
ife is the existence of a being, animal or plant. A being can be said to exist if it can
feel and be felt, if it can perform the simple act of breathing in and out, grow, and
reproduce. In this book, I shall be talking about the life and living of the human
being.
If life is the existence of a man or woman, what is life measured by? In my opinion, life is
not measured by the amount of air we breathe in and out, not by the number of days we live on
earth, but by those moments that take our breath away in the course of fulfilling the plans of
God. A life well spent is not one that lasted 150 years, but one fulfilled with love, peace and
prosperity. Long life is indeed a good thing, but is best when that life is fulfilled.
Whether you admit it or not, the statement that “when there is life; there is hope” is one
of the true statements I have come to believe in. When a man has life, there is hope for a better
tomorrow if he lays hold of today irrespective of his yesterday; a hope for great things, and a
hope for any dream to actualize. In life, time is something that we have no control over; therefore
in time anything is possible.
Talking about life, you would want to think that it requires a whole textbook and more to
even start. The truth I found is that life is governed by two rules which are simply feeding and
exercising. I know you want to ask why or how, but please encourage yourself to continue
reading and you will soon understand what I mean.
FEEDING is not the act of eating or taking in food substance to the body, but the intake
of appropriate quantity and value of food into the body. When I talk about feeding as regards

life, I am talking about feeding the body and the mind. If feeding the body is the intake of
appropriate quantity and value of food into the body, then the feeding of the mind can be said to
be the intake of appropriate quantity and value of information into the mind. From the above
L
definition, it shows that there are invaluable, substandard, irrelevant or even bad food and
information which when taken in, can cause harm and damage to the body and mind
respectively.
To effectively feed the body, you need to know the classes of food, you need to know the
quantity of these classes of food required by the body, and you need to know when and how your
body best react to certain class of food and so on. The human body requires certain food
substances, not just to survive, but to grow and flourish. When the body is not properly fed, it
results in malnutrition, and malnutrition breaks down your immune system exposing you to
illness, sickness and deceases (kwashiorkor, obesity, diabetes, and emaciation are all examples of
the product of malnutrition).
To effectively feed the mind, you need to first understand that unlike the body, one
information misleading can cost you your entire existence, making your mind a very important
tool for success or failure. What information you feed your mind with determines what it gives
back in return as actions, and these actions determine your result and success.
As much as information is power, you must understand that it can be a creative and
productive power or a negative and destructive power.
An author once said “Be careful what you read or you might die of misprint”. So
many find pleasures in saying I read anything and everything I come across, yet their lives
remain the same or grow worse. This could be because they have read enough to conflict
themselves, read only the wrong things, read and never try to practice the principles in the book
and so on. The question now is “how do I recognize good information?”
Good information must have a witness even in itself. It must be one with the ability to prove
itself even in the darkest of environment. If information requires only an oxford dictionary to
explain, then it is not in itself proven. The number one characteristic of good information is
Simplicity, and that’s why most people ignore it. The bible confirms this in James 3:17 “But
the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be

intreated …” Note that the wisdom here is the word of God. Most of us expect good
information to be very complicated, compact and tedious and therefore push aside little, simple
and very important information and waste time reading, studying and memorizing irrelevant and
unproductive information.
I may not have food substances to pass across to you through the pages of this book, but I
have simple and useful information that will change your mind-set. Like everything in life, life
itself is guided by principles and these principles are essential if you must achieve the kind of
success I talk about in this book. Say “its feed time.”
CHAPTER 2
Your definition of success will motivate, inspire and push you to achieving it. What is
success to you? Is it being able to feed, afford shelter, clothing and raise children, or the ability
to be a blessing to your generation and a light at the end of the tunnel to your world? You must
first define success to your best knowledge, and the great thing about this opportunity to define
success is that you are only limited to your mind and vision. No success is too big to dream
about, conceive or confess and no success is also too small, so let your imagination run free.
The number one principle to achieving success is acknowledging God as the author of
success. The bible says in Isaiah 2:9 “… for by strength shall no man prevail …” and it went
on to tell us in Haggi 2:8 “The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of
hosts.” Isaiah 48:17 also says “Thus saith the LORD, thy Redeemer, the Holy One of
Israel; I am the LORD thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by
the way that thou shouldest go.” Therefore, if you must be successful, you must
acknowledge God as the author of success and the owner of the silver and gold. You might want
to argue that there are people out there who do not acknowledge God and are yet successful, that
is so true, but this is what the bible says about that in Psalm 73:12 “Behold, these are the
ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.” And it went on to say in
Psalm 73:17 and 18 “Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their
end. Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into
destruction.” From here, it automatically becomes your responsibility to choose if you must
succeed with or without God. But I want you to know that if you choose to pursue success with
God as your source, he will surely not disappoint you. Hebrews 11:6 “…for he that cometh

to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek
him.” I see him reward you beyond your imaginations in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Self believe is the next principle required for successful living. There is a saying that “if
you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t make me believe in you.” You must believe in
yourself enough to achieve success, you must see yourself as one who is able to receive the
teachings of God, and worthy of success through Christ Jesus. Joshua 1:8 says “… for then
thou shalt make thy way prosperous …” Making your way prosperous is your sole
responsibility and you must believe you can do it to do it. When you see yourself as candidate
for success, it causes you to act, talk, and carry yourself as a success and then people will hence
see you the same way. When you don’t believe you can achieve success, and out of nowhere
success comes, it will only be a matter of time before your mentality of unsuccessful drag you
back to zero. To achieve success, you must first dream it, conceive it, confess it, believe and live
it. Say “I believe I can be successful.”
Depending on your definition of success, you must be willing to give its equivalent in
diligence. Another word for diligence here is consistent action. If you want to lose weight for
instance, you must do something or some things; you must watch what you eat and do some
exercise. How do you know what to eat and what exercise to do? This is a question that can only
be answered by your knowledge of the classes of food and the amount required by the body and
also the knowledge of the importance of exercise and the process of detoxification and calorie
burn. What I mean to say is that you are here because of your knowledge, and would be what
you are ten years from now depending on your knowledge.
This is the third rule to a successful life “Knowledge.” Knowledge is best defined as light.
Success is a place, a state of mind and reality, meaning, you have the responsibility to travel
from where you are to that place you define as success and live there. If knowledge is light, it
automatically makes it your number one tool when travelling, after trusting in God and believing
you can make the journey. Dare to know enough to light up not just your path, but also the path
of your generation and generation unborn. Every light requires an act of switching on to become
relevant or useful, some get light and hide it under a bushel and therefore walk in darkness like
those without light. The switching on of your light is what makes you wise. (Remember our
definition of wisdom?). Joshua 1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy

mouth (This is the knowing state, whereby you read and know the content of a book);
but thou shalt meditate therein day and night (Meditation is what brings about
understanding, and understanding prompts you to do), that thou mayest observe to do
according to all that is written therein (Doing is wisdom, and wisdom delivers results):
for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
These are the only three principles that are arranged in this particular order, but every other
principles we shall be talking about in this section, are arranged in no particular order.
Failure, “Failure is not in falling, but in the inability to find a reason to stand back
up” is a popular saying that most of us quote but fail to make a part of us. Someone said
“failure is an opportunity to start more intelligently.”
Even with your mind made up to succeed, and a big flood light of knowledge in your hand,
you are bound to fall at some point in time. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall or how
many times you stumble, but how many times you find a reason to stand back up. Your reason to
stand back up would be your reason to succeed in the first place.
At all times, the picture of success you have defined and painted should go along with you
so that when you fall or stumble, all you need to do is pull out that picture and say to yourself “I
am a success, I am a victor, I am more than able to succeed”.
To fall is not what makes you a failure, but the uncertainty of what could happen to you on
the ground and whether or not you are going to fall back down when you stand (Fear). Fear is
something that can stand in your way of success whether you admit it or not, but your ability to
handle it will propel and shoot you toward success. Hebrews 2:14 says “And deliver them
who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” fear will always
precede frustration and ultimately, death. Fear will do no other thing than put you in bondage,
and bound people don’t make progress let alone reach the finish line. Whether or not you worry
about tomorrow, tomorrow isn’t promised you, and yesterday can never be undone, therefore
learn to embrace today because it is the only gift you have. Make the best of today and tomorrow
will automatically fit. Risk (a move in faith) will always be the prerequisite for reward any
season of the year.
Every time you fall, it is an opportunity for you to start more intelligently. Embrace the
moment, analyze it, enjoy it, learn from it, and yet have your eyes on the big picture of success

you carry with you.
Every fall is not an opportunity to scream for help, not an avenue to be more spiritual, or a
medium to wallow in self-pity. There are some falls that are designed to be a training process,
designed to be a refreshing moment, and designed to be a time to evaluate and re-strategize. Stop
looking for quick solutions to situations around you, because when you get a solution without
learning what you were supposed to learn while you were down, it is only a matter of time before
you find yourself back on the ground. A wise man said “For every promise, there is an
equivalent process”.
“You can turn down visas, scholarships, appointment letters even marriage
proposals, but never turn down the opportunity to be in the council of elders because
if you listen and look deep enough, you might discover a map leading to your
tomorrow.” Even God acknowledges the place of the elders here in this scripture Numbers
11:16 “And the LORD said unto Moses, Gather unto me seventy men of the elders of
Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of the people, and officers over them;
and bring them unto the tabernacle of the congregation, that they may stand there
with thee.” If you read through the story of Moses, how he led the people of God out of Egypt
and through the desert, you would see that God had elders with him all the way. This is
something I came to believe in a few years ago, and I also love this saying “He who learns
from his mistakes is smart, but he who learns from other peoples mistake is wise.” As
you journey through life toward success, you don’t necessarily need to experience every fall and
stumble on the way. There are people who have successfully and unsuccessfully travelled the
same path. They were particularly on that path for your sake, to protect you from making the
same mistakes, to guide you from falling at the same spot as they did, and to guard you from
stormy weathers and dangers along the way. Their success stories should be your strength and
their failures should be your light, because with strength and light, there is only a little more you
need to reach the finish line.
“He that travels without food or seed is on a journey of misfortune.” As you travel
with your mind made up, your experiences gathered and your strength to overcome a fall,
without food and seed your journey isn’t started. Food and seed in this context, is not the bread
and jam you stack in your luggage while you travel, or the corn seed you tie up in a sack for

planting when you arrive at your destination. In this context, food and seed means a source of
livelihood (Your vision) and relative character as medium of exchange.
You must have a source of income (Your vision) as your food and a medium of exchange as
your seed when you embark on your journey to success. Your source of income could be your
job, your skill, your talent, your vision or your profession. Your food must be one designated by
God; it must be one that was given by God to meet the specific need of the specific people he
sent you to here on earth. If it is, then it will feed you as you journey toward success and if
diligent in it, there is success ahead.
Your seeds are your words, your actions and your attitude. No matter how much food you
have, the duration can be pre-determined, but one seed nurtured well can grow into a forest. As
you journey toward success you will meet people on the way, some fallen and needing
encouragement, some flying and willing to give you a ride, some turned back and given up
needing inspiration, some standing and not moving for the fear of the unknown needing
understanding. These are your vine yards and in them your seed is required.
When you plant these seeds, you don’t stand to watch it grow, because you might end up
wasting useful time at a point. But be sure to see it enter the ground and make sure it is covered.
There are many reasons why seed is needed in your journey, but the reason that you might at a
point, need someone to plant a seed in you is enough reason. For the purpose of seed planting
and being planted in, the next topic is very important, and that is; RELATIONSHIPS.
************************

Relationships
CHAPTER 3
elationship as many of us know before now is, and can be defined as the
communication and connection between one man and another, one object and
another, one plant and another and one man to a God. To establish a relationship,
there must be a minimum of two parties and an endless number as maximum.
In this book, we shall only take into consideration the best possible ways to relate to
another human as a human. Everything you need to relate to God is and can be found in the
bible, so go for it with all your being, and in it lie’s the secret of hidden treasures. Without

minding my grammar usage, I would be referring to you; the reader as a RELATOR and the
person you are supposed to be relating to as the RELATEE during the course of this book.
Relationship started in the bible considering my personal believes, when God said in
Genesis 1:26 “And God said, Let us make man in our image,” and man was made. Here,
the God head is considered the RELATOR and the host of heaven the RELATEE.
R
Relationship is not just an act or an art, but a force strong enough to destroy and build
anything even beyond human imagination. The power of relationships was exhibited also in the
bible in Genesis 11:4 “And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose
top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad
upon the face of the whole earth.”, when people gathered and agreed to build a tower into
heaven, and the only way God could stop them without wiping them all out was to break their
relationship by making them speak in different languages. Genesis 11:6-7 “And the LORD
said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin
to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to
do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not
understand one another's speech.”
The world is what it is today due to our relationships, and when I say the world I mean the
good, bad and the ugly things of this world is what it is because of our relationships.
There are good and there are bad relationships depending on the expected result. I would
not be going into details on how to keep or build bad relationships, but at the end of this book
you should be able to deduce that the opposite of everything therein is the best of keeping and
building bad relationships there is.
So many have toiled, strived, hustled, studied, and invested so much into live and yet
can’t really bring their dreams to life because they fail to appreciate the importance of building
good relationships and how it affects every area of our lives. The world also, has suffered so
much hatred from individuals, groups and nations, causing homicides, bombings and wars etc.
because at one point in time the importance of good relationships was neglected.
Every nation is made up of individuals, and so is every group, making the individual the
primary conduit for a better world or a more terrifying one. If you can change the individual, you

can change whatever group or nation he belongs.
It is not enough to be intelligent, smart, and brilliant, determined, focused, persistent,
hardworking, or zealous. You need to be able to build a good relationship with your immediate
environment, because as a Boss, subordinate, employer, employee, parent, child, friend, spouse,
aunty, uncle, brother, sister, cousin, nice, nephew, grand ma, grand pa, colleague, leader, or
follower, you may never be able to make personal progress, let alone a collective progress
without it.
Before we take a deep dive into how to build good relationships, I would like to talk about
the different types or methods of communication.
Methods of Communication
There are various ways or methods of communicating to a person or people in general
with the primary goal of sending a message, but can be grouped into SIX main categories
namely;
MEDITATION
SILENCE
VERBAL/ORAL
GESTICULATION
ACTION
WRTING
Every one of these methods has the primary potential of passing a message across from
the RELATOR to the RELATEE.
MEDITATION
This is a situation whereby your mouth is closed; your body is at ease and sometimes your
eyes shut, but your mind is doing all the talking, travelling, picturing and communication. This
method of relationship is very powerful if you understand its potency, and it is mostly between
human and the Extra-terrestrial e.g. Human and God, human and nature, etc. Even God himself
meditated in Genesis 1:2 “… And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.”
Though we were not told how long the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters, but in
that act, he saw yesterday, today and forever. Let’s leave that now before I take you into some
other topic.

SILENCE
This is more like meditation, but instead of your mind doing the communication, your
body temperature, your mood, your countenance, your posture and your facial expression does it
for you.
Though not all these things happen simultaneously, but each of them tells you what you
need to know depending on the situation at hand.
Take for example, you walk in at 12midnight to find your Dad seated at the dining with
your Mum. Looking at them, your Dad has this smile on his face while he rubs his palm against
his knuckles, on the other hand, your Mum just looks up to heaven without saying a word and
shakes her head on its way down. At this point you really don’t need anyone to tell you they are
disappointed in you, trying really hard to control their anger so as not to commit murder, and that
they feel sorry for your end if you continue like this.
VERBAL/ORAL
This is the act of talking in order to pass a message or better yet communicate. This is the
most reliable yet most dangerous means of relating, meaning words are very powerful and has
the ability to create and to destroy. When your words are chosen carefully, it helps build a good
relationship but if otherwise you tend to create enemies for yourself because when words are
said, it is almost impossible to retrieve or reverse them.
GESTICULATION
This is basically the art of expression with parts of the body to make a RELATEE
understand you at all or even better. This can be done alone without saying a word, but would
make more sense if the RELATEE were deaf and you have a knowledge of the sign language, or
can be done even while taking to aid the understanding of the RELATEE by painting a picture of
the discussed topic with these movements. An example would be me trying to tell a friend about
a just concluded football match he was unable to watch. To make him understand or feel the
force behind Didier Drogba’s shot that gave Chelsea FC the winning goal of the match, I could
stand, bend over like there was a football in front of me and kick the air with the same force he
did in the match, this paints a picture in his mind and as a result, gets a better understanding of
what I am saying.
ACTIONS

As the word implies, it is acting instead of meditating, silence or talking. Sometimes,
actions help one put a whole lot of words together and just say it in one little stretch of muscles.
Examples are, instead of going through the stress of writing a three page poem just to tell your
spouse how much you love them, you let a bunch of rose flowers and a pack of chocolate do the
talking and most times these actions say more than you really mean. To also start a war, you
don’t need to call the United States president and tell him you would like to go to war with his
country, all you need to do is launch an attack on the innocent citizens of his country and see if it
will take 24hrs to retaliate.
WRITING
Writing is the putting down of words in letters. In time past this was only done with ink
and paper, but these days technology has brought about SMS, emails, social networks, Microsoft
word and many others, making writing also a very reliable and secure way to relate.
After all that about the various methods of communication, I want you to take a minute to
imagine a man with no face, no hands, no legs and think of how he could communicate. The
answer is Never. Such a man can not relate and cannot be related to, which means God is a
perfect architect to have created us as humans with these characteristics.
The Short and Long- term Relationships
There are two terms of relationships and they are called the short-term and the long-term
relationships. These terms of relationship also have two terms of benefit known as the short-term
and the long-term benefits.
The short-term relationship is that which usually do have an end date even before the
meeting or acquaintance. An example is you going to spend the holiday with an uncle, or you
going to the cinema and meeting someone. You already know you are staying with your uncle
for the period of the holiday, and you also know you would be at the cinema for the duration of
the movie. If these meetings or stay, are governed by the knowledge of building good
relationships, the benefits could last a life time and if not it tends to last the period or duration of
the meeting or stay.
Before any long-term relationship, there is a short-term relationship.
The long-term relationship is one which has no end date from the beginning. Note that
some intended short-term relationships turn out to be long and vice-versa.

Every opportunity to relate to a human (Already known or new) should be seen as one
that may never come by again, therefore should be done with the things we shall be discussing in
this book in mind. The truth is, it is possible to ruin a 100yrs relationship within minutes and also
possible to kick start a 100yrs relationship between minutes.
While we were growing up as children, we were made to understand that to change a
man, you must first, change his mind. This is a fact that cannot be changed even in a million
years, and that’s why I would love to adopt the same principle in this book.
Things You Must Understand as a
Relator
To be a good RELATOR, there are things you need to understand and digest, and I shall
share them with you right away.
First, you need to realize that you are where you are today because of some people. These
people could be good or bad but nonetheless their encouragements, help, contributions, criticism,
insult and discouragements have brought you this far, and to get to that point you desire, you
need them and more.
Secondly, you must understand that humans are dynamic in nature. This means they have
the tendency to change even against their will. Change can be caused by some external factors,
and sometimes they have little or no control over this change caused by association, situation,
knowledge, location and money to mention a few. Therefore as a RELATOR you should be able
to observe this change in your RELATEE and adjust if the need arises.
Thirdly, you should also understand that you cannot make everyone like you, but you can
do your best to love everyone around you. Some people can be turned off by your high level of
honesty, some by your carriage, some by your looks, some by your brain, some by your believes,
some by your humility and others by your love for a fellow human, but this shouldn’t be a
problem because, you can still relate to them as well and maybe someday they would learn to
appreciate you and emulate your way of life.
Fourth, you should realize that your happiness and sadness lies with you. This means that
no man or woman on this earth surface can make you happy, as to be happy means to find peace
within and without.
Though people around you can put smiles on your face from time to time, making them

very relevant in your life, but the happiness that comes with peace can only be found from
within. You can choose to be happy even if the world is crashing down on you, and you can
choose to be sad even if the entire world throws you a party. In other words, do not expect too
much from any man. Trust them, believe in them but don’t let their misconduct, mistake and
assault determine your happiness.
“Your heart starts to crack or mend from the inside, as you only need a reason
to explode it into a million pieces or a reason to put it together” E .S .O
Fifth, you should realize that you do not know everything and that no one does.
The understanding and digest of these facts about humans would help you relate to them
with an open mind. The next question that comes to mind at this point is who do I relate to?
Who Do You Relate To
Our creator God almighty, does not allow us to choose who we relate to, but he advices us
on how we relate to all men that was created by him. Hebrews 12:14 “Follow peace with all
men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord”. You are supposed to relate
to everyone, but the purpose of your relationship should be defined from the very beginning to
avoid being carried away and loosing focus on what is important.
Some relationships have been defined even before you get to make the choice of what
purpose the relationship should be about. Examples are, being employed in a firm, the primary
purpose of relating to other staffs of the firm should be to achieve the goals of the organization,
or being a student of a class, the primary purpose of relating to other students of that class would
be to achieve excellence in learning. Nevertheless a secondary inter-personal relationship can be
built, and this should be based on these two purposes which are; to learn and to teach.
The Purpose of Relationships
As an individual, you should be able to ask yourself two questions which are; what do I
have to learn? This is a question I asked myself two years ago, and realized the answer was
everything, because even when you think you know some things, some people just seem to
understand it differently and sometimes better. The second question is what do I have to teach?
This is really simple, because the answer is in the first question and that is “what you have
learnt”.
I was fortunate to meet a friend while I worked in Aero Contractors Nigeria (an airline in

Nigeria). He is a man in his late thirties, my subordinate, married and very experienced in life
issues. He is also very brilliant and full of life, though has a problem of confidentiality. He found
nothing wrong is sharing people’s secret and does it even in the most ridiculous manner. This has
cost him several relationships which might have benefited him in ways he never imagined.