Chapter 9: When the Discussion Gets Stalled or Heated pptx

When the
Discussion Gets
Stalled or Heated
Chapter 9

Outline

Conflict Defined

Conflict Resolution Approaches

PURRR Procedure

Responding to Conflict

Handling Impasse

Conflict as a Choice Point

Identify Compatible Interests

Handling Deception

Gender Differences

Conflict Defined

To be in opposition

To be contradictory


An open clash between two opposing groups

Synonyms:
•
Discord
•
Dispute
•
Struggle
•
Resist

Conflict Resolution Approaches

Fast-Slow Approach
•
Negotiation parties rush to reach an agreement, may have
ignored important constituencies and then the agreement
faces extreme difficulties in the implementation phase

Slow-Fast Approach
•
Negotiations are conducted slowly to ensure that the final
agreement is responsive to major constituents providing
greater speed in implementation

Slow-Slow Approach
•
Time is taken to consider, select and apply solutions

PURRR Procedure

Pause when formulating
judgment

Understand what was meant by
actions or words

Reflect on information and ask
for additional information

Reinterpret by applying an
alternate explanation

Redirect conversation toward
goals

Responding to Conflict

Maintain even disposition

Ask clarification questions

Delay with process not contention

Seek advancement on less contentious issues and return to
others later

Reposition or frame in positive, mutual-gain terms


Frame differences as natural

Find common ground through value linking

Emphasize what has been accomplished

Encapsulate conflict issues

Avoid petty issues

Meet halfway

Handling Impasse

Take a break to develop strategies

Define cost consequences if agreement is not reached

Reconsider outcomes to be accomplished

Lower your dependence on them and increase their
dependence on you

Break problem into smaller parts

If impasse is on substance, focus on process – how to proceed
from here

If impasse is on process, try the shared text approach


Keep power in your pocket (e.g. attorney, credible reference)

Keep the door open

Conflict as a Choice Point

Explore whether conflict is a signal for a change

View the disagreement as a choice point and explore
options for moving forward – what comes next?

Utilize framing

Identify Compatible Interests

Focus on commonality rather than differences

Try to find shared goal – leading to a cooperative
strategy

Handling Deception

Levels of deception
•
Benign deception – used in the service of
politeness in order to avoid offense
•
Strategic deception – planned deceptions whose
purpose is to achieve some advantage through
the skillful management of information sharing

•
Ulterior Motive deception – purpose is to achieve
some gain without divulging one’s intention
Benign Strategic Ulterior Motive
Deception Continuum

Benign Deception

Puffery in building one’s credibility

Falsely implying a relationship with a competitor

Giving impression of greater knowledge

Creating impression that something is of greater
value

Giving an impression of wealth or competence
through appearance

Disclosing “private” information

Omitting or downplaying less attractive aspects of
offer

Strategic Deception

Agreeing to do something you may not be
able to do


Bluffing

Fogging or confusing an issue

Misrepresenting by omission

Making additional small requests after an
agreement has been made

Feigning the scarcity of an item

Ulterior Motive Deception

Lying

Creating impression others will think poorly of them in order to
gain compliance

Threatening someone with power you don’t possess

Switching sides on an issue to create confusion

Suggesting you will provide something of value you don’t intend
to deliver

Offering false flattery

Intimidating other side with false claims

Making intentional misrepresentations


Pretending to be angry, insulted or annoyed to induce
cooperation

Gender Differences

Dysfunctional
communication patterns
may occur in male-
female interactions

Identify dysfunctional
patterns and seek to
break pattern

Don’t fall victim to
stereotypes

Gender Differences
•
Dismissive – interrupting, talking over, ignoring
{men engage more frequently than women}
•
Exclusionary – leaving someone out of the
meeting, discussion or social gathering
•
Undermining – going behind the back of others or
using insults to discredit arguments
•
Retaliatory – used when other party feels

threatened
•
Patronizing – use a condescending tone {happens
more to women}