Writting good or well 2 doc

188
Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons
21_599321 ch14.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 188
Chapter 15
Going on Location: Placing
Descriptions Correctly
In This Chapter
ᮣ Placing even, only, almost, and similar words
ᮣ Avoiding misplaced, dangling, or confusing descriptions
M
y out-of-town friends always tell me that I can buy a ten-room mansion for the price
of a closet in New York City. My standard reply is that location is everything. That
statement is as true for descriptive words as it is for home prices. Plop one in the wrong
spot, and your meaning may sink like a stone.
First, some definitions: Descriptions in English may be composed of one word or, if you like
to pour it on, twenty or more. Regardless of length or form, descriptive elements fall into
one of two huge categories. They belong in the adjective bin if they describe people, places,
things, or ideas (in grammar terms, nouns or pronouns). The adverb family claims them if
they describe verbs (action or being words) or other descriptions. Flip to Chapter 14 for a
host of practice exercises with basic adjectives and adverbs.
The general principle guiding the placement of descriptions is simple: Descriptive words
should clearly relate to what they describe. Some sentences give you a bit more leeway than
others. Move a descriptive word an inch and the meaning still comes across. But a few
words require precision.
In this chapter you can practice that precision and, like a real estate agent, concentrate on
location, location, location.
Little Words Mean a Lot: Situating “Even,”
“Only,” and Similar Words
The other day I saw a tee shirt that made me want to turn my grammar book into a guided
missile. The shirt declared that My Grandma went to NYC and only bought me this lousy tee
shirt. Why, as a founding member of Grammarians Anonymous, was I upset? Because the

descriptive term only was misplaced. The sentence as written means that Grandma did
nothing at all in NYC except buy one tee shirt — no theater, no walk in Central Park — just
tee-shirt buying.
Little words — only, even, almost, just, nearly, and not — will torpedo the meaning of your
sentence if you put them in the wrong spot. Each of these descriptions should precede the
word being described. Take a look at these examples:
22_599321 ch15.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 189
Even Mary knows that song. (Mary generally sticks to talk radio, but the song is
so popular that she recognizes it.)
Mary knows even that song. (Mary has 56,098 CDs. She knows every musical work
ever written, including the one that the sentence is referring to.)
Got the idea? Now take a look at the following sentences. If you find a misplaced
description, rewrite the sentence as it should be. If everything is fine and dandy, write
“correct” in the blank.
Q. My Uncle Fred only pays taxes when he’s in the mood or when the IRS serves an arrest
warrant.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
A. My Uncle Fred pays taxes only when he’s in the mood or when the IRS serves an arrest
warrant. The only has to move because it makes a comment on the conditions that make
Fred pay up (his mood and the times when the IRS puts him in the mood). This descrip-
tion should precede the conditions it talks about. The only is not a comment on pays, so
it’s out of place in the original.
1. Because she was celebrating an important birthday, Ms. Jonge only gave us ten hours of
homework.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
2. The first task nearly seemed impossible: to write an essay about the benefits of getting
older.
________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________
3. After I had almost written two pages, my instant message beeped and I put my pen down.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
4. I even figured that Ms. Jonge, the meanest teacher on the planet, would understand the
need to take a break.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
5. I made a cup of coffee, but because I’m dieting, I only ate one doughnut and ignored the
other three that were silently shouting, “Eat me.”
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
190
Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons
22_599321 ch15.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 190
6. My friend Eloise nearly gained three pounds last week just from eating glazed doughnuts.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
7. Eloise, my brother, and I love doughnuts, but all of us do not eat them; Eloise can’t resist.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
8. Eloise even draws the line somewhere, and she seldom munches a chocolate sprinkle out-
side of homework time.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
9. After I had sent a text message to Eloise, I returned to my homework and found I only had
five tasks left.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
10. Not all the work was boring, and I actually liked the history assignment.

________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
11. I had to read two chapters about an empire that almost covered half the known world.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
12. The conquerors even invaded countries that had superb defense systems.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
13. The next day I was surprised to hear Ms. Jonge comment that she had almost assigned
seven chapters before changing her mind.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
14. “I nearly love all children, except those who fight or scribble on their homework, and I
wanted to celebrate my birthday with a homework holiday,” she said.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
191
Chapter 15: Going on Location: Placing Descriptions Correctly
22_599321 ch15.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 191
15. I was startled to hear that Ms. Jonge considers ten hours of homework a holiday, but I
know that she only wants what’s best for us.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
It Must Be Here Somewhere!
Misplaced Descriptions
If you’re at a car dealership and want to buy a new car from a sales associate with snow
tires, you’re in the right place. Unfortunately, the description — with snow tires — is not,
because its current placement attaches it to sales associate and thus indicates a car guy
whose feet have been replaced by big round rubber things, not a vehicle you can drive
confidently through a storm.

This section deals with long descriptions (for the grammar obsessed: prepositional
phrases, verbals, and clauses) that sometimes stray from their appointed path. I cover
short descriptions — simple adjectives and adverbs — in Chapter 14. To keep your
descriptions legal, be sure that they’re very close to the word they describe.
Except for a few place or time descriptions, nearly every multiword description directly fol-
lows the word it describes, as in these sentences:
I want to buy a car with snow tires from a sales associate. (The description with
snow tires describes car.)
The bread that Lulu baked yesterday is as hard as the rock of Gibraltar. (That Lulu
baked yesterday refers to bread.)
The leaf shimmering in the sunlight bothers Jeff’s light-sensitive eyes. (The expres-
sion shimmering in the sunlight describes the leaf.)
These descriptions quickly become absurd if they move slightly. (Imagine the sentence,
The bread is as hard as the rock of Gibraltar that Lulu baked yesterday. See what I mean?)
When you move a misplaced description, take care not to make another error. For example,
if I change I placed a stone in my pocket that I found in the playground to I placed a stone that
I found in the playground in my pocket, I have a problem. In the original sentence, I found the
pocket in the playground. In the changed sentence, I have a playground in my pocket. The
solution is to place a description at the beginning of the sentence: In my pocket I placed a
stone that I found in the playground.
Check out the following sentences. If all the descriptions are where they should be, write
“correct” in the blank. If anything is misplaced, rewrite the sentence in the blanks provided,
dropping the description into the right spot. Tip: In addition to moving descriptions, you
may have to reword here and there in order to create a sentence that makes sense.
Q. Even before she passed the road test, Julie bought a leather license holder that was given
only twice a month.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
192
Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons

22_599321 ch15.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 192
A. Even before she passed the road test that was given only twice a month, Julie bought
a leather license holder. The license holder is available all the time in a leather goods
store, but the test shows up only twice a month. Move the description closer to test and
you’re all set.
16. Julie passed the eye examination administered by a very near-sighted clerk with flying
colors.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
17. The written test inquired about maneuvers for cars skidding on ice.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
18. Another question inquired about defensive driving, which required an essay rather than
a multiple-choice response.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
19. About a week after the written portion of the exam, the Department of Motor Vehicles
sent a letter giving Julie an appointment for the road test lacking sufficient postage.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
20. Julie asked her sister to drive her to the testing site before the letter arrived.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
21. Julie’s examiner, a nervous man whose foot kept slamming onto an imaginary brake
pedal, constantly wrote notes on an official form.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
22. The first page contained details about Julie’s turning technique, which was single-spaced.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________

23. Julie hit only two pedestrians and one tree in the middle of a crosswalk.
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
193
Chapter 15: Going on Location: Placing Descriptions Correctly
22_599321 ch15.qxp 4/3/06 11:31 PM Page 193