The secrets to learning NLP by lloyd johnson

!
A"Quick"Note"on""Piracy""
My!primary!goal!for!this!book!is!to!share!knowledge!and!to!
make!your!life!better.!Honestly.!It!is!very!much!a!secondary!
goal!of!this!to!book!to!generate!any!income.!
!
If" you" bought" this" book" from" me:! Thank! you! for!
supporting! my! work!! Your! purchase! motivates! me! to!
continue! producing! information! like! this.! Every! book! sold!
means! something! to! me,! every! sale! signifies! one! additional!
person!that!has!been!introduced!to!!
NeuroBLinguistic!Programming.!!
Please!feel!free!to!share!this!book!with!your!friends.!
!
If" you" did" not" buy" this" book:! I! hope! that! you! enjoy! this!
book!and!that!it!makes!a!difference!in!your!life.!If!you!get!a!
lot!out!of!it,!and!can!afford!it,!please!consider!paying!for!the!
book!retrospectively!by!buying!a!physical!or!electronic!copy!
from! www.confidentfuture.com.au! and! going! on! to! share! it!
with!your!friends.!

!

!


!

"Everything,we're,going,to,tell,you,here,is,a,lie.,,
All,generalizations,are,lies.,Since,we,have,no,

claim,on,truth,or,accuracy,,we,will,be,lying,
consistently,through,this,seminar.,,
There,are,only,two,differences,between,us,and,
other,teachers:,One,is,that,we,announce,at,the,
beginning,of,our,seminars,that,everything,we,
say,will,be,a,lie,,and,other,teachers,do,not.,Most,
of,them,believe,their,lies.,They,don't,realize,that,
they,are,made,up.,,
The,other,difference,is,that,most,of,our,lies,will,
work,out,really,well,if,you,act,as,if,they,are,true.",
B!Richard!Bandler,!CoBFounder!of!NLP!
!


Table&of&Contents&
Introduction!

1!

What!is!NLP?!

2!

History!of!NLP!

4!

What!to!Learn!First!

10!

Technique!1:!Sensory!Acuity!

13!

Technique!2:!Rapport!

17!

Technique!3:!Anchoring!

27!

Technique!4:!Milton!Model!

35!

Technique!5:!Meta!Model!

61!

Technique!6:!Modelling!

78!

Teaching!Yourself!NLP!

83!

The!Learning!Process!

89!

Learning!With!Others!

94!

Gaining!Experience!

99!

NLP!Training!Options!

104!

A!word!of!warning...!

118!

About!the!Author!
!

120!



The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

!

Introduction&

When! I! first! heard! about! NeuroBLinguistic!
Programming! (NLP)! my! initial! impulse! was! to! dismiss!
it.!The!people!that!I!met!who!were!talking!so!highly!of!it!
were! rarely! the! sort! of! people! I! wanted! to! emulate.!
They! talked! about! learning! how! the! mind! worked! and!
taking! charge! of! your! results,! but! I! didn't! really!
understand! what! they! were! going! on! about.! Yet,! now!
here!I!am,!writing!a!book!about!The!Secrets!of!Learning!
NLP.! ! And! you! may! be! wondering! what! must! have!
changed!for!me!to!go!from!that!point!of!zero!knowledge!
about! NLP,! all! the! way! through! to! absolute! fascination!
and!dedicating!myself!to!sharing!it!with!others.!
When! I! first! heard! about! NLP,! my! problem! was! that!
nobody!really!explained!it!to!me!so!I!didn't!understand!
what!NLP!was.!There!are!loads!of!definitions!out!there!
and!lots!of!explanations!about!how!it!can!help!you,!but!
what!I!really!cared!about!was!what!was!in!it!for!me.!!It!
wasn't! until! one! New! Year’s! Eve! that! I! truly! 'got'! what!
was! in! it! for! me.! From! that! point! forward,! learning!
about! NLP! didn't! just! become! easy! and! effortless,! it!
almost!became!an!obsession.!!

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Lloyd!Johnson

!

What&is&NLP?&

NLP,! or! NeuroBLingustic! Programming,! is! such! a! wide!
field!of!study!that!it!can!be!hard!to!define!simply.!NLP!is!
a! way! of! thinking! about! ideas! and! people! that! allows!
you! to! excel! in! any! field.! The! basic! premise! is! that! we!
can! study! people! who! are! getting! great! results,! and!
reduce! their! behaviours! down! to! a! model,! or! the! bare!
minimum!required,!which!enables!them!to!consistently!
get! their! results.! This! model! can! then! be! taught! and!
shared.! It! allows! others! to! replicate! the! same! results!
very!quickly.!For!this!reason,!NLP!is!often!called!“the!art!
and!science!of!personal!excellence”.!
NLP!is!a!practical!skill!that!results!from!studying!what!
makes! the! difference! between! excellence! and! average.!
Through!the!pursuit!of!excellence,!NLP!leaves!behind!a!
trail! of! highly! effective! techniques! with! applications! in!
business,! therapy,! education! and! beyond.! ! At! the! nitty!
gritty!level,!NLP!draws!on!general!semantics,!linguistics!
and!other!techniques!like!hypnosis,!gestalt!therapy!and!
family!therapy.!!So!really,!NLP!is!a!study!of!‘what!works’!
and!the!study!of!how!you!produce!results.!
NLP! stands! for! NeuroBLingustic! Programming! and! can!
be!broken!down!into!three!core!parts:!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

Neuro! relates! to! the! nervous! system! (the! mind),!
through!which!our!experience!is!processed!via!the!five!
senses! of! visual,! auditory,! kinesthetic,! olfactory! and!
gustatory!(sight,!hearing,!touch,!smell!and!taste).!These!
five!senses!are!the!inputs!into!our!nervous!system!and!
the! sources! that! we! rely! upon! to! build! our! internal!
experience.!
Lingustic! relates! to! language! and! other! nonBverbal!
communication! systems! through! which! our! neural!
representations!are!coded,!ordered!and!given!meaning.!!
This! includes! pictures,! sounds,! feelings,! tastes,! smells!
and!words!(self!talk).!
Programming" relates! to! how! the! structure! and!
sequence!of!our!thoughts!will!lead!to!a!predictable!and!
reliable!outcome.!
In"other"words,"NLP"is"how"to"use"the"language"of"
the"mind"to"consistently"achieve"our"specific"and"
desired"outcomes."

&

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Lloyd!Johnson

!

History&of&NLP&

NLP!is!fairly!young,!!having!only!been!established!in!the!
1970’s.!The!fundamentals!that!allowed!for!the!creation!
of!NLP,!however,!began!long,!long!before!that.!
In! 1943,! Alfred! Korzybski! wrote! a! book! called! Science,
and, Sanity! that! discussed! the! idea! of! Logical! Levels.!
Korzybski!said!something!really!interesting!in!his!book.!
He! said,! “Almost! all! psychological! problems! were! the!
result! of! the! inability! of! a! person! to! traverse! logical!
levels”.! That’s! interesting! because! he! suggested! that!
sometime! in! the! future! there! would! be! a! wholly!
processed! description! of! the! human! being! that! would!
come! along! and! actually! describe! the! processes! of! a!
human! being.! ! That! is! what! we! today! call! NeuroB
Linguistic!Programming.!
During! the! 1970's,! Richard! Bandler! and! Frank! Pucelik!
became! friends! at! the! University! of! California! Santa!
Cruz,!even!though!neither!of!them!were!students!there.!
Bandler!and!Pucelik!were!both!personally!motivated!to!
heal!themselves!from!their!less!than!pleasant!pasts.!On!
their! own! personal! journeys! they! become! masterful! at!
Gestalt! Therapy! just! by! observing! and! copying…! errr!
Modelling…!the!behaviours!of!Fritz!Perls,!the!founder!of!
Gestalt! Therapy.! As! they! began! to! move! forward! and!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

use! the! things! they! had! learnt! Bandler! and! Pucelik!
realised! that! they! had! a! specific! gift! of! Modelling! –!

being! able! to! observe! what! worked! and! then! create!
something! out! of! it.! They! began! to! practice! Gestalt!
Therapy! in! the! classrooms! at! the! University! of!
California! Santa! Cruz! and! their! work! came! to! the!
attention!of!John!Grinder,!a!Professor!of!Linguistics.!
Grinder! initially! just! observed! their! work,! but! after!
seeing!them!for!a!few!weeks,!he!introduced!himself!and!
asked!them!if!they!knew!how!what!they!were!doing!was!
working.! ! Grinder! understood! and! could! describe! the!
structure!behind!what!they!were!doing,!that!led!to!their!
results.! ! ! Prior! to! working! with! him,! Bandler! and!
Pucelik! did! not! quite! know! the! details! as! to! why! their!
methods! worked.! They! had! merely! become! great!
modellers.! ! With! the! help! of! Grinder’s! Linguistics!
expertise,!!they!were!able!to!more!fully!understand!the!
science! behind! it.! Before! long! the! three! men! were!
working!together!on!what!was!then!called!“Meta.”!
What!followed!were!years,!about!seven!years!in!total,!of!
experimentation,! testing! and! Modelling.! The! initial!
group! worked! really! hard,! in! return! for! no! financial!
gain,!just!studying!Meta!because!it!interested!them!and!
because!they!wanted!to!see!how!far!they!could!take!it.!
After! several! years! there! was! a! disagreement! between!
Bandler!and!Pucelik!that!lead!to!Pucelik!going!his!own!
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Lloyd!Johnson

way.!Bandler!and!Grinder!later!renamed!Meta!to!NeuroB

Linguistic! Programming.! It! wasn't! until! it! got! its! new!
name!that!it!really!started!to!become!widely!known.!!
Following! the! change! of! name! to! NeuroBLinguistic!
Programming!a!new!group!was!attracted!to!pushing!the!
envelope! of! what! was! possible.! Accounts! of! the! early!
days! are! largely! anecdotal! and! differ! from! source! to!
source,! though! it! is! undeniable! that! Bandler! and!
Grinder! were! joined! by! a! group! of! others! that! were! to!
take! NLP! to! the! world.! ! Each! and! every! one! of! these!
people! were! looking! for! ways! to! add! to! the! field,! to!
develop! the! field! further! and! to! ultimately! discover!
what!it!is!that!makes!amazing!results!possible.!
This!is!the!foundation!of!NLP!and!where!the!idea!of!NLP!
being!a!notion!and!a!methodology!comes!from;!the!idea!
of!actually!being!able!to!look!and!see!what!is!excellent!
behaviour!and!figure!out!how!that!excellent!behaviour!
is!produced.!It!starts!with!a!simple!question:!How!do!I!
take!that!behaviour!and!how!do!I!try!that!on!myself!so!
that!I!can!get!the!same!results?!NLP!begins!as!a!notion!
and! a! methodology! that! leaves! behind! a! trail! of! great!
techniques!for!achieving!excellence.!
To! begin! with,! the! three! major! people! that! they!
modelled!were!Milton!Erickson,!Virginia!Satir!and!Fritz!
Perls.! These! three! people! were! chosen! as! they! were!
experts! in! magically! creating! change! in! people! by!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

simply! using! the! right! words.! And! that! is! what! NLP! is!
about,! studying! excellence! so! you! can! reproduce! the!
results.!It!begins!with!an!attitude!of!curiosity!to!find!out!
how!they!do!what!they!do.!When!we!use!NLP!and!look!
at! a! human! being,! we! look! at! that! human! being! with!
wonderment! and! we! ask! ourselves! “how! is! it! possible!
that!this!person!in!this!circumstance!could!produce!this!
behaviour?”! Now! the! second! thing,! which! could! be!
equally! as! important! as! curiosity,! is! the! willingness! to!
experiment,! to! begin! to! try! new! things! to! see! if! it! is!
going!to!work.!
As!Bandler!&!Grinder’s!notes!began!to!stack!up!they!
released!their!first!two!books!in!1975:!
B The!Structure!of!Magic!I:!A!Book!About!Language!
and!Therapy;!and!
B The!Structure!of!Magic!II:!A!Book!About!
Communication!and!Change.!
These! books! contain! the! basis! of! the! Meta! Model,! a!
model!of!communication!that!works!by!becoming!more!
specific! and! removing! Generalisations,! Distortions! and!
Deletions! from! people's! language! and! thoughts.! This!
work! was! primarily! derived! from! their! study! of! Perls!
and!Satir.!
Following! these! two! books! both! Bandler! &! Grinder!
studied! Milton! Erickson,! arguably! the! best!
hypnotherapist!of!our!time,!and!from!their!study!of!his!
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Lloyd!Johnson

work! they! published! Patterns! of! the! Hypnotic!
Techniques!of!Milton!H.!Erickson,!Volumes!I!&!II.!These!
books!contained!the!basis!of!the!Milton!Model,!a!model!
of!communication!that!works!by!becoming!more!vague!
and! introducing! generalisations,! distortions! and!
deletions! into! people’s! language! and! thoughts.!
Interestingly,! the! Milton! Model! is! almost! the! complete!
opposite! of! the! Meta! Model! –! but! both! get! reliable!
results.!
Ultimately,! the! Meta! Model! &! Milton! Model! serve! to!
prove! Alfred! Korzybski! correct! –! by! traversing! logical!
levels!it!is!possible!for!problems!to!just!disappear.!
These! models! were! just! the! tip! of! the! iceberg! though.!
From! Bandler! &! Grinder’s! studies! of! these! three!
therapists,! a! whole! field! of! information! was! created.!
Beyond! these! models! they! started! documenting! new!
techniques! and! ideas! such! as! Anchoring,! reframing,!
submodalities,!
perceptual!
positions,!
and!
representational! systems.! As! the! usefulness! of! the!
techniques! began! to! gain! a! following,! more! and! more!
resources! such! as! books! and! seminars! began! to! be!
produced.! From! the! work! of! Bandler! &! Grinder! in! the!
1970’s! and! the! books! that! they! have! published,! both!
together!and!individually,!NLP!now!has!a!huge!body!of!
knowledge! behind! it! from! many,! many! different!
authors.!

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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

Today!NLP!is!widely!accepted!in!countries!all!over!the!
world! as! a! set! of! tools! for! producing! reliable! results.!
This! methodology! started! to! become! immensely!
popular!in!the!1980s!and!1990s!with!huge!personalities!
like! Anthony! Robbins! using! it! to! help! thousands! of!
people! make! lasting! changes! in! their! lives.! ! As! our!
awareness! as! a! society! increases! around! the!
importance! of! self! responsibility! and! personal!
empowerment,!these!tools!become!more!applicable!and!
accessible!every!day.!!

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Lloyd!Johnson

!

What&to&Learn&First&

Each! and! every! technique! and! theory! in! NLP! has!
applicability!in!our!every!day!lives.!!Because!it!has!been!
modelled! from! some! of! the! most! successful! therapists!
to!ever!live,!the!results!speak!for!themselves.!!What!you!
would!be!looking!to!focus!on!when!first!learning!NeuroB

Linguistic!Programming!will!vary!widely!based!on!your!
motivation!for!it.!Regardless!of!whether!you!plan!to!use!
your! new! skills! in! a! therapy,! business! or! educational!
context! there! are! several! concepts! that! form! the!
foundation!you!will!need,!before!you!can!effectively!use!
the! other! NLP! tools! and! techniques.! The! focus! for! this!
book!is!on!these!six!!areas:!
1.!Sensory!Acuity
2.!Rapport
3.!Anchoring
4.!Milton!Model
5.!Meta!Model
6.!Modelling!
!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

Sensory! Acuity! is! essential! for! becoming! a! good!!
communicator! and! for! becoming! good! at! NLP.! It! is! the!
ability! to! detect! changes! in! other! people! by! becoming!
more!aware,!or!calibrated!to!slight!changes!in!the!other!
person.!!This!gives!us!clues!as!to!what!is!going!on!inside!
the!other!person's!mind.!Rapport!is!being!in!sync!with!
the! person;! a! process! of! responsiveness! that! is!
invaluable! in! therapy,! business! and! personal! settings.!
When! you! have! good! Rapport! with! others! it! will! also!
make!nearly!all!NLP!processes!much!easier!and!faster.!!
Anchoring! is! a! powerful! tool! to! making! fast! and!

meaningful! changes! by! accessing! desirable! states!
within! yourself! and! in! clients! at! will.! ! The! Milton! and!!
Meta! Models! are! the! language! patterns! that! make!
powerful! conversational! change! easy! and! effortless.!
Modelling!is!the!pattern!from!which!all!of!NLP!has!been!
created!and!once!perfected,!will!give!you!the!ability!to!
replicate!any!behaviour!you!would!like!to!perform,!thus!
producing!the!same!results.!
This! is! your! lucky! day! because! this! book! includes! six!
chapters! devoted! to! giving! you! the! basics! of! each! of!
these!key!areas.!Not!only!is!there!a!chapter!devoted!to!
each!area!but!there!are!also!activities!that!you!can!do!to!
start! building! your! skills.! Each! chapter! also! contains! a!
list!of!relevant!books!that!are!worth!reading!for!further!
information.!
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Lloyd!Johnson

When! you! master! these! six! techniques! you! will! be! a!
long! way! towards! using! NLP! competently! in! therapy!
and! business,! and! in! your! everyday! life.! ! The! language!
patterns! of! the! Milton! and! Meta! Model! are! especially!
powerful.!
For!your!benefit,!what!follows!is!information!on!each!of!
these!processes.!What!is!contained!in!this!short!book!is!
by!no!means!all!there!is!to!know!on!each!topic,!in!fact!
entire! books! exist! on! each! of! these! techniques! alone.!
The! information! is! provided! so! that! you! will! be!

confident!enough!to!take!action!now.!!The!practical!NLP!
exercises! will! give! you! the! opportunity! to! apply! the!
techniques,! ! so! that! by! the! end! of! this! book! you! will!
have! a! really! solid! idea! of! how! to! use! what! you! have!
learned!in!a!practical!way!in!your!own!life,!how!to!use!it!
to! affect! change! in! others’! lives,! and! how! to! continue!
your!learning!if!desired.!!!
So! do! yourself! a! favour:! Treat! this! information! newly,!
stay! curious,! and! give! yourself! every! opportunity! to!
practice!what!you!read.!!!
!!

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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

Technique&1:&Sensory&Acuity&&
&
In! Modelling,! Milton! Erickson,! one! of! the! creators! of!
NLP,! observed! that! people! make! minute! changes! from!
moment! to! moment.! Those! changes! communicate!
meaning!if!you!have!enough!Sensory!Acuity.!So,!what!is!
Sensory!Acuity?!Sensory!Acuity!is!the!ability!to!observe!
tiny! changes! in! a! person's! physiology! from! moment! to!
moment.! Based! on! the! changes! that! you! observe! you!
can!begin!to!gain!an!insight!into!what!is!going!on!for!the!
other!person.!
In!NLP!we!normally!focus!on!these!key!parts!of!another!
person's!physiology:!

 Skin!colour!(whether!it!is!lighter!or!darker)
 Skin! tonus! (whether! the! tone! of! muscles! is!
symmetrical!or!not!symmetrical)
 Breathing!speed!(whether!breathing!is!faster!or!
slower)
 Breathing! location! (whether! they’re! breathing!
from!higher!or!lower!in!their!chest)
 Lower!lip!size!(whether!it!has!more!lines!or!less!
lines)
 Eye! focus! (whether! their! eyes! are! more!
focused!or!defocused)
 Pupil!dilation!(whether!their!pupils!are!more!
dilated!or!undilated)
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Lloyd!Johnson

The! truth! is! that! these! are! just! a! starting! point! –! with!
enough!Sensory!Acuity!you!can!easily!gain!insight!into!a!
persons’!state!through!any!observable!changes!in!their!
body.! ! Milton! Erickson! famously! noticed! a! member! of!
one! of! his! audiences! going! into! trance.! ! Later,! he! was!
asked!how!he!knew!she!was!going!into!trance!replying,!
“I! could! tell! because! the! pulse! in! her! ankle! slowed!
down”.!The!better!you!get!at!Sensory!Acuity,!the!more!
powerful! a! communicator! you! will! become!! Sensory!
Acuity!is!especially!vital!in!a!good!hypnotherapist!as!it!
is!your!only!way!of!effectively!gauging!how!quickly!and!
deeply!your!client!is!in!trance.!

So,!what!is!an!example!of!this!at!work?!If!you!are!near!a!
computer! you! can! look! up! this! YouTube! video! of! the!
infamous! Derren! Brown! at! work! with! three! car!
salesmen:!
/>If! you're! not! near! a! computer! the! video! shows!
something! quite! interesting.! Brown! is! in! America! and!
goes!to!visit!three!car!salesmen!at!their!place!of!work.!
They! are! standing! in! the! parking! lot,! surrounded! by!
cars,! and! Brown! proceeds! to! explain! his! complete!
ignorance!of!cars.!What!he!asks!the!first!sales!person!to!
do!is!to!tell!him!three!things!about!the!car!and!for!two!
of! them! to! be! true,! but! for! one! of! them! to! be! a! lie.!
Within! moments! of! hearing! the! three! statements,!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

Brown!successfully!picks!the!statement!that!is!a!lie.!He!
repeats!the!same!process!with!the!second!sales!person.!
Then,! to! top! it! all! off,! with! the! third! sales! person! he!
does!something!slightly!different.!Instead!of!asking!him!
to!say!three!statements!out!loud,!he!asks!him!to!simply!
think!them!inside!his!head.!And!once!again,!even!though!
the! third! sales! person! doesn't! utter! a! word,! Brown!
successfully! picks! the! lie.! This! is! a! great! party! trick! –!
and! one! that! you! too! can! do! too! with! mastery! of!
Sensory!Acuity.!
This!video!is!a!great!example!of!how!Sensory!Acuity!can!
be! subtly! used! to! gain! an! insight! into! the! internal!

representations! of! another! person.! With! the! third!
salesman,!Brown!is!able!to!determine!when!he!is!telling!
the!truth!without!the!salesman!even!opening!his!mouth.!
This! is! because! of! the! subtle! changes! in! his! body!
language! that! Brown! can! easily! detect! with! his! wellB
developed! skill! of! Sensory! Acuity.! Through! the!
questions!he!asks,!he!is!able!to!calibrate,!using!Sensory!
Acuity,! when! they! are! telling! the! truth.! Brown! then!
simply! picks! the! ‘odd! one! out’! (i.e.! the! answer! where!
the! person’s! physiology! is! noticeably! different)! and! he!
can!safely!pick!that!as!the!lie.!
It! is! important! to! remember! that! Sensory! Acuity! must!
be! calibrated! on! a! personBbyBperson! basis.! The!
differences!noticeable!in!one!person's!physiology!that!is!
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Lloyd!Johnson

telling! the! truth! will! not! necessarily! be! the! changes!
another! person's! physiology! would! show! for! the! same!
internal!representation.!
The! more! you! practice,! the! easier! it! gets.! You! can!
practice!Sensory!Acuity!on!ANYONE.!
"
!

B!16!B

The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

!

Technique&2:&Rapport&

Rapport! is! simply! a! process! of! liking.! Have! you! ever!
seen! someone! so! deep! in! conversation! that! they! are!
hanging! off! every! word?! Or! been! with! someone! and! it!
has!been!like!time!stood!still?!Do!you!sometimes!get!a!
sense!from!someone!that!you!can!trust!him!or!her!and!
be!totally!comfortable?!How!useful!would!it!be!for!you!
to! be! able! to! walk! into! a! situation! and! to! easily! and!
effortlessly! connect! with! other! people,! even! if! you've!
never!met!them!before?!What!if!you!were!working!with!
a!client!who!was!a!bit!nervous!about!NLP!and!there!was!
a!way!to!make!them!feel!more!comfortable?!Well,!there!
is!–!and!it!is!a!process!known!as!Rapport.!!
Rapport! originally! stems! from! hypnosis.! In! the! field! of!
hypnosis,!Rapport!is!considered!to!be!when!the!client!is!
so! strongly! connected! with! you,! that! they! feel! like!
nobody! else! exists! in! their! reality.! Or! in! other! words,!
you! are! totally! holding! the! attention! of! their!
Unconscious! Mind.! ! Now,! in! NLP,! often! Rapport! won't!
be! as! intensely! focused! as! that.! So! when! you! think!
about!Rapport,!don't!think!about!it!as!a!binary!state.!It!
is! useful! to! think! of! it! more! as! an! analogue! scale.! The!
truth!is!that!you!will!rarely!be!entirely!out!of! Rapport,!
or! in! Rapport,! with! anyone! else! –! you'll! be! moving!
through!different!shades!of!grey.!

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Lloyd!Johnson

This! technique! is! one! of! the! processes! that! will! make!
the! biggest! difference! to! your! results! with! clients,! and!
in! your! communication! with! others! in! general.! The!
sooner! you! can! allow! the! other! person! to! totally! and!
completely! relax! and! feel! comfortable,! the! more!
powerful!your!connections!will!be,!and!the!more!easily!
you! will! be! able! to! assist! them! in! resolving! their!
presenting! problem.! The! question! is,! how! do! you!
quickly!move!closer!to!them!liking!and!trusting!you?!
This! is! where! it! begins! to! get! interesting.! What! we!
know! is! that! communication! is! much! more! than! the!
words! that! we! use.! There! are! many! other! factors! that!
play!a!part!in!how!communication!is!received!including!
body! language,! voice! tonality! and! especially! facial!
expressions.*! Rapport! is! about! making! the! most! of!
these!factors,!so!that!we!can!meaningfully!connect!with!
others! in! a! way! that! allows! them! to! like! us.! And! the!
simplest!rule!to!remember!when!it!comes!to!Rapport!is:!
People,like,people,who,are,like,them.,
This! may! sound! a! little! bit! manipulative! or! tricky,! but!
the!truth!is!that!this!is!what!people!do!normally.!!Have!
you! ever! seen! two! people! in! a! social! situation! that! are!
deep! in! conversation?! You! may! have! noticed! that! they!
were! probably! standing! in! similar! ways,! talking! at!
similar! volumes/speeds! and! if! you'd! been! paying!

enough!attention!you!may!have!even!noticed!that!their!
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The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

breathing! was! in! sync.! The! chances! are! though! that!
those! people! aren't! trained! Practitioners! of! NLP! or!
Hypnotists,!because!this!is!what!just!happens!naturally.!
The! thing! is! though,! that! it! can! take! 5~10! minutes! to!
happen! naturally.! Once! you! start! to! get! good! at! the!
process! of! Rapport! you! can! bring! that! time! down! to!
2~30! seconds! with! ease! to! simultaneously! create! a!
feeling!of!trust!and!comfort!because:!!

Trust!+!Comfort!=!Rapport!
Rapport!is!made!up!of!two!main!processes,!Pacing!and!
Leading.! Pacing! is! where! you! closely! replicate! parts! of!
the!other!person’s!communication!so!that!they!begin!to!
recognise!parts!of!themselves!in!you.!!Leading!refers!to!
doing! something! new! when! you! are! in! Rapport! with!
another! person! that! will! cause! the! other! person! to!
replicate! you.! But! before! you! can! Pace! someone! and!
start! to! get! in! Rapport! with! them,! ! you! need! to! know!
what!to!look!for.!These!are!the!main!things!to!watch!for:!
"
"
"
"
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Lloyd!Johnson

Physiology:"
Posture
Gestures
Facial!expressions
Blinking
Breathing
Tonality:"
Tone!(pitch)
Tempo!(speed)
Timbre!(quality)
Volume!(loudness)
Words:"
Predicates
Key!words
Common!experiences!and!associations
Content!chunks
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