128 n the importance of being earnest

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
Algernon.
Algernon Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?
Lane.
Lane I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.
Algernon.
Algernon I’m sorry for that, for your sake. I don’t play accurately - any
one can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression. As far
as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
Lane.
Lane Yes, sir.
Algernon.
Algernon And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the
cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?
Lane.
Lane Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]
Algernon.
Algernon [Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh!...
by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when
Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of
champagne are entered as having been consumed.
Lane.
Lane Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
Algernon.
Algernon Why is it that at a bachelor’s establishment the servants
invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.
Lane.
Lane I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often
observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a firstrate brand.
Algernon.
Algernon Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?

Lane.
Lane I believe it IS a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little
experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married
once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself
and a young person.
Algernon.
Algernon [Languidly.] I don’t know that I am much interested in your
family life, Lane.
Lane.
Lane No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it
myself.
Algernon
Algernon.
non Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.
Lane.
Lane goes out.]
Lane Thank you, sir. [Lane
Algernon.
Algernon Lane’s views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the
lower orders don’t set us a good example, what on earth is the use of
them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral
responsibility.

COMPILED JUAN CARLOS DAVID
1


THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
ældȢǩnǩn | dǺd ju hǺǩ wǢt aǺ wǩz pleǺǺŋ leǺn |
leǺn | aǺ dǺdnt θǺŋk Ǻt pǩlaǺt tǩ lǺsnʜ sǬə |

ældȢǩnǩn | aǺm sǢri fǩ ðæt | fǩ jǤə seǺk | aǺ dǩȚnt ple(Ǻ)
ækjǩrǩtli |eni wȜn kǩn ple(Ǻ) ækjǩrǩtli | bǩt aǺ pleǺ wǺð
wȜndǩf(ǩ)l Ǻkspreȓnʜ | ǩz fǡər ǩz ðǩ piænǩ(Ț) Ǻz kǩnsǬənd |
sentǺmǩnt Ǻz maǺ fǤəteǺ | aǺ kiəp sa(Ǻ)ǩns fǩ laǺf |
leǺn | jes sǬə |-ældȢǩnǩn | ænd | spiəkǺŋ ǩv ðǩ sa(Ǻ)ǩns ǩv laǺf |
hǩv ju DZǢt ðǩ kjuəkȜmbǩ sænwǺdȢǺz kȜt fǩ leǺdi bræknǩl |
leǺn | jes | sǬə |
ældȢǩnǩn | ǩȚ | baǺ ðǩ weǺ leǺn | aǺ siə fr(ǩ)m jǤə bȚk | ðǩt Ǣn
θǬəzdi naǺt | wen lǤəd RN9lǩn ǩn(d) mǺstǩ | wǬəðǺŋ wǩ daǺnǺŋ
wǺð miə | eǺt bǢtlʜz ǩv ȓæmpeǺn ǩr entǩd ǩz hævǺŋ biən
kǩnsjuəmd |-leǺn | jes sǬə | eǺt bǢtlʜz ǩnd ǩ paǺnt |
ældȢǩnǩn | wa(Ǻ) Ǻz Ǻt ðǩt ǩt ǩ bætȓǩlǩz ǺstæblǺȓmǩnt | ðǩ
sǬəvǩnts Ǻnveǩri^ǩbli drǺŋk ðǩ ȓæmpeǺn | aǺ ǡəsk mǺǩli fǩr
ǺnfǩmeǺȓnʜ |
leǺn | aǺ ǩtrǺbju:t Ǻt tǩ ðǩ suəpǺǩri^ǩ kwǢlǺti ǩv ðǩ waǺn sǬə | aǺ
hǩv Ǣfnʜ ǩbzǬəvd | ðǩt Ǻn mærǺd haȚshǩȚldz | ðǩ ȓæmpeǺn Hz
reǩli ǩv ǩ fǬəst reǺt brænd |
ældȢǩnǩn | DZȚd hevnʜz | Ǻz mærǺdȢ sǩȚ cHlǢrǩlaHyHM ǩz ðæt |
leǺn | aǺ bǺliəv Ǻt Hy ǩ veri pleznt steǺt sǬə | aǺ hǩv hǩd veri lǺtlʜ
ǺkspǺǩri^ǩns ǩv Ǻt maǺself | Ȝp tǩ ðǩ preznÿt | aǺ hǩv ǩȚnli biən
mærǺd wȜns | ðæt wǩz Ǻn kǢnsǺkwǩns ǩv ǩ mǺsȜndǩstændǺŋ
bǺtwiən maǺself ǩnd ǩ jȜŋ pǬəsnʜ |
ældȢǩnǩn | aǺ dǩȚnt nǩȚ ðǩt a(Ǻ) ǩm mȜtȓ ǺntrǩstǺd Ǻn jǤə
fæmǩli laǺf leǺn |
leǺn | nǩȚ sǬə | Ǻts nǢt ǩ veri ǺntrǩstǺŋ sȜbdȢekt | aǺ nevǩ θǺŋk
ǩv Ǻt maǺself |
ældȢǩnǩn | veri nætȓrǩl | aǺ ǩm ȓȚǩ | ðæt wǺl duə leǺn | θæŋk
ju |
leǺn | θæŋk ju sǬə |
ældȢǩnǩn | leǺnz vjuəz Ǣn mærǺdȢ |siəm sȜmwǢt læks | rǺǩli |

Ǻf ðǩ lǩ(Ț)ǩr Ǥədǩz dǩȚnt set ǩs ǩ DZȚd ǺDZzǡəmplʜ | wǢt Ǣn Ǭəθ Ǻz
ðǩ juəs ǩv ð(ǩ)m | ðeǺ siəm | ǩz ǩ klǡəs | tǩ hæv æbsǩluətli nǩȚ
sens ǩv mǢrǩl rǺspǢnsǩbǺlǺti |
COMPILED JUAN CARLOS DAVID
2