1499 women vs men

CHEMICAL
ANALYSIS OF
(WO)MEN
ELEMENT: MAN
ELEMENT: Woman

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Don't even go there
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

SYMBOL: Ego

DISCOVERER: Eve.
OCCURRENCE: Large quantities in all populated
areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all
sporting events and
areas known as
"singles bars".
Extremely low quantities
can be found in any location where cleaning up
is required. (See Women and Slave Labor)

Surface usually covered with a painted
film.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.

Surface often covered with hair.

Melts if given special treatment.

Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced
with Logic and Common Sense.

Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in various states ranging from virgin
metal to common ore.
Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum,
and precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of expensive
substances.
May explode spontaneously without prior
warning, and for no known reason.
Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly
increased by saturation in alcohol.
Most powerful money-reducing agent known to
man.
COMMON USES:
Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can be a great aid to relaxation.
Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered
in natural state.

Melts if treated like a God.
Can cause headaches and severe body aches;
handle with extreme caution.
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any
alcohol).
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
Is repelled by concentrated quantities of
precious and semi-precious metals and stones
(See Jewelery Store).
May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened.
Requires copious quantities of substances
known as attention, reassurance, and stroking.
When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert
and will repel most other elements.
Is repelled by most household appliances and
common household cleansers.
Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers,
particularly those of the malodorous variety.
Usually willing to react with whatever is
available.
Most powerful embittering and aggravating
agent known to woman.
Is repelled by most household appliances and
common household cleansers.

Turns green when placed beside a better
specimen.

STORAGE:

HAZARDS:

b) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late
at night, free dinners for Wo...

Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.


Illegal to possess more than one, although
several can be maintained at different locations
as long as specimens do not come into direct
contact with each other.

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c) Can be used in recreational activities.

CAUTION:

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a) Tends to react extremely violently when
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other
Man interferes with reaction to a
particular
Wo specimen.
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If I

was/were
a man,I
would ..
..

If I
was/were
a woman,
I
would ..
.

To talk about wishes in the present we tend to use past simple; only to show that
it is something imaginary, hypothetically speaking.
If only I knew the answer (I do not know the answer)
I wish I could play the guitar (I cannot play the guitar)
In a similar manner, we use past simple to talk about conditions in the present,
which are only imaginary.
If + past simple, Would + infinitive
If you knew what I know, you would be upset. (you don't know what I
know)
If walls could talk, we would be in trouble. (the walls cannot talk, therefore
we are not in trouble)
Fill in the following sentences with an appropriate form.
If Mary ______________________ (speak) Spanish, she _____________________ (not get) into
trouble. Now she is stuck at the airport.
I _____________________________ (prepare) lunch if I ________________________ (be) a good
cook, but all I can do is order a pizza.
She ____________________________ (get) a promotion if she _____________________ (make)
some extra effort, but she always leaves work earlier.

I wish it _______________________________ (be) Friday. Can't believe it's Tuesday! Argh!
If only Joe _______________________________ (ask) me out. I don't think he will.


If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd
______________________________
of bed in the morning
and __________________________
what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and
_____________________________
girls
I'd __________________with who
I wanted
and I'd never get
confronted for it
cause they
_______________________ me
If I were a boy
I think I _________________
understand
How it feels to love a girl
I
________________________________
__ a better man
I'd listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you
wanted
Cause he's
________________________
granted And everything you
had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would
__________________________my
phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so ___________________________
that I was sleeping alone
I’d
______________________________
first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be
___________,
waiting for me to come

If I were a boy
I think I _________________
understand
How it feels to love a girl
I
________________________________
__ a better man
I'd listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you
wanted
Cause he's
________________________
granted And everything you
had got destroyed
It's
_____________________________
for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think I'd forgive you like
that
If you ________________ I would
wait for you, you thought
wrong
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
and you don't understand,
ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday
_______________________ you
were a better man
You don't listen to her
You _____________________ how
it hurts
Until you ___________________
the one you wanted
Cause you're

________________________
granted And everything you
had got destroyed
But you're just a boy....


Teacher notes:
Activities listed can be used in any given order, since they are all relaeted to the main topic,
that is Men vs Women, since they also work as individual units to be used in class.
The whole set combines discussion (lots of it), video, song, grammar (hypothetical
situations in the present).
Suggestion:
1. You may start with page 1, chemical analysis to break the ice... Cut the handout in half,
giving the men analysis for women and vice versa, or let Ss have the whole worksheet to
themselves, and let them read it. Entice conversation, see if students (dis)agree with
what is said.
2. 2nd page of this lesson plan contains small cards that you may cut out and give students
for the following 2 activities; a) ask them to write as many stereotypes they can think of;
it would be good to write for the opposite sex, so women enumerate all the things typical
of men and vise versa. Another usage is when they are supposed to list all the
advantages of being of the opposite sex in your society.
3. There is a truly great video, though not for vocabulary since it is a short cartoon, but it
makes fun of the typical stereotypes of (wo)men's behavior. It can be used at the
beginning as an ice breaker too, but I like to use it after I have asked the students to
write their own ideas, to see how many they have in common with the video.
/>Ask them to jot down or remember things they are (not) doing themselves (e.g. women
shopping for one thing, and then buying 1001 things they never needed).
4. Gender role in the society... Once again you can use the cards from page two, so the Ss
write all the advantages they can think of being a (wo)man in your society... Yet again, it
would be perfect if you had a mixed class, so the men write about all the privileges

women get and vice versa....
You may use the following questions to get the conversation going:
Do roles of men and women differ a lot nowadays in your country? What has changed? What
do you think will never change?
What things are made easier for men/women at: a) work

b) school

c) relationships

Typical jobs for women ? Men?
5.Introduce 2nd conditional / or revise it with your students....
In the end, there is a song by Beyonce that fits perfectly into what has been discussed in
class,
Cut out the pieces of paper, shuffle the papers and have the students work out the order in
pairs or groups of three, and in the second listening let them guess the missing words.


If needed, you can provide the missing words by writing them on the whiteboard, but if used
with higher level classes, it is not needed.
The song is great to teach phrasal verbs and phrases as well, since many are missing in the
set such as
Take sb for granted
Chase after
Kick it with
Turn off
Etc...
I used it with my higher levels students and it really sparked lots of debates, especially with
mixed groups. They loved the video and the song... Good luck, hope you enjoy it !