564 funny answering machine messages
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Go away, leave me alone,
please leave a message,
after the tone BEEP!
Funny answering machine messages
“Hello? (short pause)
Hellooo? (Waits again) Helloooo Who is this?”
“Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone.
We're not here right now, but the phone is”
“A is for academics, B is for beer. One
of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.”
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my
answering machine is, so you can talk to it
instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just
avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
me a message, and if I don't call
back, it's you."
“Hello! This is Joe. If you leave message, I
call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message,
I call sooner!”
“Hello. I am David's
machine. What are you?"
"Hi. Now you say something."
answering
“Please leave a message. However,
you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded
and will be used by us.”
"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're
gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you...
That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
BEEP."
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my
answering machine is, so you can talk
to it instead. Wait for the beep."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at
home cleaning our weapons right now and
can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we
probably aren't home and it's safe to leave
us a message."
“Heaven, God speaking...”
“Hi. This is John: If you are the phone
company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you
owe me money. If you are a female,
don't worry, I have plenty of money.”
“Go away, leave me alone, please leave
a message, after the tone BEEP!”
“Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if
you were trying to call me, you've dialed the
wrong number. On the other hand, if you
were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please
leave your name and number at the tone. I
don't guarantee that one of them will call
you back -- only that I won't.”
