The computer is widely used in education and some people think that teachers will not play important roles in the classroom1

IELTS WRITING CORRECTION – THAO MY
The computer is widely used in education and some people think that teachers will not play
important
roles
in
the
classroom.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowaday, with the significant development of technical information, computer is a popular tool
supporting for education. While many argued that the mission of teacher is not really important
in classroom, from my perspectives, I strong believe that replacing teachers by computers is not
a judicious decision because of many below reasons.
It is an undeniable fact that besides giving knowledge to students, teachers also are
psychological consultants. First of all, facing widely knowledge coming around the World is
challenging, thus simplifying them in different ways is teacher’s responsibility. Additionally, in
the different timelines of student’s lives, they will get into psychological problems which means
that teacher will become their mentor evidently. For example, through obverse children,
teachers can understand about what time they need advises for their family troubles, their study
pressures or even their loves. Finally, despite the high speed of modernized computer, software
serving for education is not really complete. Therefore, accessing to academic knowledge is
barrier with children.
On another hand, depending too much on computers leads to many serious consequences.
Firstly, controlling the inconsistent information sources is difficult issue for schools applying
computer in their teaching. Besides, many poor areas, where people can not catch up
technology, do not have enough advantage situations to develop educational equipments. For
example, with people who have to face famine everyday, having computer to learn is too
luxury. Last but not least important, the high budget supporting for plan to teaching by
computer will put great pressure on the government policies while there are too much social
problems we have to overcome.
To summarize, computers plays an increasingly important role in education, teachers still are
student’s cicerones. In spite of thinking about replacement of teachers, we should consider

about how teachers can use computers in their teaching.


IELTS WRITING CORRECTION – THAO MY

Task
Response

Grade
7.5

Cohesion
and
Coherence

7.0

Vocabulary

7.0

Grammar

7.0

Overall

7.0

Your essay addresses the essential parts of the task and

presents a well-developed response to the question with
relevant ideas. Your conclusion is good.
However, some ideas are vaguely expressed. Besides, some
main points in paragraph 2 and 3 may be lacking in
supporting examples.
Attempts to use cohesive devices are visible. There is overall
progression throughout.
However, there are some mistakes with connectives (On
THE OTHER hand, Last but not least, etc.)
Attempts to use less common vocabulary are visible.
However, there are some mistakes. Be careful with word
use. I recommend using OALD, thesaurus.com and
ozdic.com for your practice on vocabulary.
Attempts to use complex sentence structures are visible.
However, there are some grammatical errors. Try to be more
precise in your expression.
A good piece of writing. Try to expand your lexical
resources and pay more attention to grammar. Remember to
be concise in your expression.
Keep up the good work!