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A D R I A N E G. BERG

HOW NOT


How Not to Go Broke at 102!
Achieving Everlasting Wealth

Adriane G. Berg

8
wl LEY

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.



How Not to Go Broke at 102!



How Not to Go Broke at 102!
Achieving Everlasting Wealth

Adriane G. Berg

8
wl LEY

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Copyright O 2004 by Adriane G. Berg. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, NewJersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-PublicationData:
Berg, Adriane G.
How not to go broke at 102! : achieving everlasting wealth I Adriane G. Berg.
p. an.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-471-46727-8 (CLOTH)
1. Aged-Finance., Personal. 2. Retirement income-United
States-Planning.
3. Retirement-United States-Planning.
4. Saving
and investment-United States. 5. Social security-United States. 6.
Medicare. I. Title.
HG179.B435 2004
Printed in the United States of America.
I 0 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


To my mother,
Gertrude Horowitz Berg,
who is as beautiful at 86 as she was at 16;
mavbe more so.
And to Dorte Schreiber,
my friend,
who proves that wisdom and grace are ageless

Acknowledgments

I

would like to thank and acknowledge some very special people
who have meant so much t o my life, my way of thinking, and
consequently t o the contents of this book.

To my husband and the wind beneath my wings, Stuart Bochner,
who encouraged me to write as I think and speak, and never fear revealing too much of myself.
To my daughter, Rose Phoebe Bochner, who saw mostly my back as I
bent over the computer for months o n end, but who never lost her
good temper or the song and dance of her spirit.
To my son Arthur Ross Bochner, a brilliant young writer whose good
judgment steered me right many times.
To my close friends Sharon Streicher and Dr. Stanley Streicher, Judy
Block and Dr. Fred Block, Nancy Jacobi Akbari and Ahmad Akbari,
Risa Olinsky and Mark Olinsky, and Lorri Grief, and to my life coach
Daniel Chayefsky, all of whom will understand every joke and reference in this book.
To one of the great pioneers in the field of aging and longevity, Dr.
Robert Butler, Pulitzer Prize winner for his Why Survive?Being Old in
America and founder of the International Longevity Center in New
York.


ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To Dr. Ken Dychtwald, author of Age Wave and Age Power and prolific
speaker who has raised our consciousness about aging and longevity.

To Dr. Rose Dobrof, whose lifework is synonymous with elder studies
and advocacy and welcomed me into the world of social work and aging without hesitation.
To Dr. Janet Sainer and Commissioner Elinor Guggenheimer, who
started me thinking about aging and the law in the days when I was
Assistant General Counsel of the Community Service Society.
To my brave editor Jeanne Glasser, who had the temerity t o ask me if
I wanted to write another book, and then supported me every step of
the way.
And a very special thanks to:
Mr. Milton Gralla, my co-author of How Good Guys Grow Rich, who
keeps me plugging away when everything seems bleak, and who is a n
inspiration to me because he so genuinely believes that the world
needs to hear what I have to say even when I'm not so sure. He has
enhanced many lives, and together with his wife Shirley Gralla will
enhance thousands more. His platform is simple: Life will shower you
with wealth if you live on the give and not o n the take.
Mr. Robert Danzig, whose morning coffee mentoring sessions kept me
focused and engaged in my task, even when the end was unclear. He
is an inspirational speaker and the founder of the Confidence Academy and There's Only One You, which empowers foster children and
adults everywhere.
Top elder law attorneys Peter J. Strauss, Daniel Fish, Robert Freedman,
and Howard Krooks, for their constant refresher courses.
Mr. Pat Gilberto, of Brookdale Center for the Aging of Hunter College,
for his many introductions t o the Who's Who of Gerontology.
Special thanks to Darin M. Myman, CEO of DealNerd.com, and Peter
J. DeAngelis, CFA, author of The Individual's Guide to Winning on Wall
Street and the executive director of DealNerd.com, for the superb
www.wealthl02.com web site they have designed.

Acknowledgments
And to the following organizations that provide the research that
made this book possible:
AARP
American Society of Actuaries
American Society on Aging
James N. Jarvie Commonweal Service
MetLife Mature Market Institute
National American Homebuilders Association
National Council o n Aging
Society of Actuaries
And to my new friends, Karen Prudente, executive secretary for International Ministries, Women's Division, and Susanne Paul, president
of Global Action on Aging, who are propelling my thinking into the
world of global longevity.
And to my partners and strategic associates:
Commissioner Anita Kramer, who proves again and again that true
friendship is the real everlasting wealth.
Kenneth Greenblatt, CFP, and Brad Spitz, attorney and planner, who
always encourage my wildest ideas and bring stature and credit t o our
professions.
Michael Checkan, Glenn Kirsh, and Richard Checkan of Asset Strategies International, who prove that friendship is better than gold, and
that gold is better than anything else.
Television producer Richard Hall, who plans to chronicle it all and
with whom it is a joy to work.



Contents

Foreword

PROLOGUE

A Day in the Life of a Megatrend

INTRODUCION

What's Going on Here? How Longevity
Is Affecting Our Life Choices

Chapter ONE

The Longevity Revolution

Part ONE Longevity and Work

Chapter TWO

The Aging Worker Paradox

Chapter THREE

Recent Innovative and
Progressive Workplace Solutions

Chapter FOUR

Making Rehirement a Reality

Chapter FIVE

Dream Fulfillment and CompromiseThey Are Both Okay

Chapter SIX

Securing Your Retirement with
An End Run Job


CONTENTS

xii

Part lWO Longevity and Your Home

Chapter SEVEN

Aging in Place

Chapter EIGHT

Downscaling by Moving

Chapter NINE

Where Will You Live When the
World Is Your Oyster?

Chapter TEN

Affordable Lifestyle Dreams for Sale

Chapter ELEVEN The Real Estate IRA
How to Buy Real Estate Now, and
Avoid the Baby Boom Rush

Chapter TWELVE The Link between Housing
and Healthcare
Part Three Longevity and Family

Chapter THIRTEEN

Whose House (and Money) Is It Anyway?

Chapter FOURTEEN Under One Roof-Selling the House
and Building the Ancillary Apartment
Chapter FIFTEEN

The New Family Financial Dialogue

Part FOUR Longevity and Health

Chapter SIXTEEN

Wealth Is Health-Life for Sale

Chapter SEVENTEEN

How Will You Pay for Your Healthcare?

Chapter EIGHTEEN

Medicare and Medicaid

Chapter NINETEEN

Nursing Home Costs

Chapter TWENN

Long-Term Care Policies--Choice
Not Chance

Part FIVE Longevity and Your Money Life

Chapter TWENN-ONE

Living the Handcrafted Life

Chapter TWENN-TWO Preserving Your Future If You Do
Not Have Enough


Contents
Chapter TWENN-THREE Social Security and Your Pension
Will They Carry You
Through Longevity?

Chapter TWENN-FOUR

Leapfrog Annuities

How Professional Longevity
Planners Think

Epilogue
Appendix A Find Your Ideal Place to Live
Appendix B

Understanding Conservatorship Proceedings

Appendix C Living Wills, Healthcare Proxies, and Powers
of Attorneys
Appendix D Insurance Company Rating Services
Appendix E

Additional Resources

Appendix F

Test Your Social Security Knowledge

Notes
Index



Foreword

ight years ago, when I was 48 years old, I learned that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I had some early warning signals. Still, a definitive diagnosis is, well, so very definitive. The doctor said I had a
relatively mild form of the disease, and along with my general excellent health I could expect to live a very long life. But, I knew better!
Right then and there I resolved to plan for the doomsday that was

my future. Little did I know that this event would be the defining
moment of my life. Little did I know that one year later the then New
York City Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani would appoint me a commissioner at the New York City Department for the Aging. Or that, now,
at age 56, I would just discover the defining mission of my life.
What I did know was that I had to share my diagnosis with my
then 79-year-old mother. Though Mom had endured a few defining
moments herself, like the Depression, World War I1 and widowhood,
a child of any age telling her mother that she has an incurable disease
is, at the very least, painful for both.
Mom, always the optimist, while upset, assured me that I would
always have her unconditional love and be her beautiful, brilliant,
fun, and resourceful daughter who faces every challenge with
courage and a plan! With that kind of support, from an almost octogenarian, I decided to try to believe my doctor and prepare for anything, including, a long life.

E


xvi

FOREWORD

My most logical next step had to be the preparation of a financial plan, a task I had been putting off for years. However, the defining moment that my illness presented or crucible as Warren G. Bennis
and Robert J. Thomas also call it in their wonderful book Geeks and
Geezers How Era, Values, and Defining Moments Shape Leaders (Harvard
Business School Press, 2002) propelled me to consider tackling what
would become a life plan. Of course, not knowing where or how t o
start, I procrastinated until the day I turned on the radio and
serendipity struck.
As I was flipping through the radio dial in search of my favorite
Sinatra program, I heard a vaguely familiar voice that identified itself

as Adriane Berg. I was struck dumb, recovered, and continued t o listen. I soon realized that this Adriane Berg was the same Adriane Berg
who was my friend and classmate in both junior high and high
school! Here she was 35 years later, a radio talk show host on one of
the biggest stations i n the New York City metropolitan area, an elder
law attorney, a popular speaker, and a consultant t o nonprofit and
for-profit organizations on the financial challenges of longevity. It
seemed that her help could kick start my plan, so long as I believed in
my own longevity.
By then I was deeply involved with my work with seniors.
Thinking back, I was well suited for the job. A certified social worker
since 1982, I had received training at the prestigious Brookdale Center on Aging at Hunter College, and had worked in the field for years.
Now, as assistant commissioner, I made policy that directly affected
the lives of tens of thousands of seniors residing in the five boroughs.
In addition, I had direct responsibility for six programs, including
work training for seniors, and intergenerational initiatives, and a budget of over $20 million. My diagnosis gave me a special additional
credential. I knew that peace of mind, money, and fulfillment could
not be separated.
It seemed obvious that serendipity had become fate and some
greater force was telling me to call Adriane-I did.
After a hiatus of more than three decades, Adriane and I were
not at a loss for words. We discovered that while our family, lifestyle,
and work situations were different, our attitude about the world was
very similar. We are both generally optimists who take obstacles in
stride and try t o deal with life's challenges with a sense of humor and
a plan. Quickly, our conversation turned to our personal and professional interest in the area of aging and its "kissin' cousin" longevity.


Foreword

xvii

As members of the baby boom generation (those born between
the years 1946 and 1964) a cohort I called Generation B, and as professionals i n fields dealing with human potential, Adriane and I both
meet and talk to tens of thousands of seniors and boomers. My
world, basically that of people over the age of 65, while filled with
much too many isolated and frail elderly who must not be forgotten,
also includes many older people who greet each day with a purpose
and a plan, even if the plan is to meet friends for lunch or a card
game. These people keep active and upbeat. Their respective stories
are a life lesson.
Adriane's audience is much larger than mine. As one of the first
observers and analysts of the worldwide megatrend called longevity,
Adriane's world includes everybody. And, as a lawyer, talk show host,
lecturer, and author, it seems as if she has had a conversation with
everybody!
She, too, has observed that those people, young or old, who use
life's turns or crucibles (Bennis and Thomas) as defining events from
which to extract life's enhancing meaning, are also those who, as
they age, become neotenic (Bennis and Thomas). A neotenic is "someone whose vigor and openness t o new experiences marks him or her
as the antithesis of stereotypical old age . . . these people are still full
of energy, full of curiosity, full of confidence that the world is a place
of wonders spread before them like an endless feast."
In this powerful book Adriane, in her warm, caring style filled
with a profound understanding of the human condition, presents us
with a road map to not only this state of renewal, but also the ability
to pay for it!
In our age of longevity where all stages of life will be so much
longer, we will have time t o create dreams, realize them, and then
make new ones. We will be able, if we choose, t o not only think but
d o what once seemed impossible.

Through a series of profiles, vignettes, and anecdotes, Adriane's
always witty and insightful commentary provides us with a show and
tell of how people of all ages can and are looking at the passage of
time as an opportunity.
But, many people d o n o t think this way. Not yet. In my experience as a n assistant commissioner, and as someone who now uses a
cane, it is painfully clear that if a person does not look perfect, that
is, robust, stylish, young, helshe is written off in at least two similar
ways. If you are old, you cannot be physically attractive, mentally ag-


xviii

FOREWORD

ile, healthy, and definitely not fun. In the same way, if one is handicapped shelhe is seen at best as imperfect and at worst, the visible
handicap, whose origin is n o t known, is presumed to be hiding
some hideous incurable disease. Both the handicapped and the elderly are t o be pitied if not shunned.
The truth is that with any luck we are all going to get old and
many of us will suffer some sort of visible incapacity during our lives.
We are all in the same boat and it is time that, as both a society and as
individuals, we realize that to write off people for n o reason, but for
life's natural progression, is to write off ourselves!
And so I have embarked on my defining mission, t o produce
videos and other information o n How May I Help You?, a guide t o deal
with the infirmity of others. I used my crucible t o leave a legacy I
could never have imagined. And Adriane's courage and advice has
made it possible.
I highly recommend this book to neotenics and neotenic
wannabes of all ages!
Oh yes, Adriane helped me put together a financial plan that

will keep me solvent t o at least 102, my health is excellent, and my
now 87-year-old mother is goin' strong!
So, how are you doing?
Anita Kramer


Prologue

A Day in the Life of a Megatrend

t was 5:45 A.M. and already Jeannie was out jogging. She could feel
her ponytail moving back and forth like a metronome. Maybe it
was the Biotin that her dermatologist gave her. Her hair felt thicker
lately. Jeannie thought she looked great for 55, but wondered for how
long she would keep up her routine. All those creams were expensive
and the Botox needles hurt, n o matter what they said. Besides, she
was beginning t o wonder if it wouldn't be just as wonderful to grow
old with a few laugh lines showing.
Jeannie passed the part of the park with the baby swings. Her
son Larry, now 23, would be coming home that evening. He
planned to live with her and her husband Harold for a while. He
had definitely decided t o live home and save his money and go t o
graduate school. Why didn't they anticipate this? She and Harold
had been careful to plan for Larry's college and even that was
tough. But graduate school! Larry would be nearly 30 before he really launched his career.
At that moment, Harold was not thinking about Larry's future.
He was thinking about his own. It was 7:00 A.M.,and Jeannie was
back from her jog and had completed her morning weight-lifting
routine. Harold admired how trim she was after 30 years of marriage. But it was also annoying. She was always after him t o exercise

I


HOW NOT TO GO BROKE AT 102!

more, or t o get a colonoscopy, or to eat more tomatoes for his
prostate. He knew she was right, but all he really wanted was a beer
and a ballgame.
This morning he was worried about his job. There were rumors
of a downsizing, an accepted euphemism for getting fired. Part of
him wished it would happen. When the stock market was so great
last year he thought about early retirement. He and Jeannie could
move to Utah and have a horse. He dreamed of a fat severance package. He even pictured himself talking t o their accountant Bernie, or
that financial planning guy about whether to take a lump sum or annuitize, or maybe refinance the house and buy a place t o rent out until Jeannie was ready t o retire. He wanted to buy early and avoid the
baby boom rush. He wondered if their house would go down in
value as boomers downscaled in droves. He wished he had the cash
to buy now.
But then, Larry was coming back to live with them, and Lizzy
was still a little girl. Besides, it would be hard to keep an eye o n Jeannie's mom or visit his own mother. He blessed Jeannie's job as a
teacher. He never expected that her pension would outstrip his investments.
By now, it was 10 A.M. and Grandma Peanut had woken up late.
This was very unusual for her. These days, she found herself needing
less and less sleep and rising at the crack of dawn. (Grandma Peanut,
a nickname to distinguish her from Harold's mother who coincidentally was also named Helen, counted out the 10 nuts she ate every
morning.) She took out her pillbox which was almost a foot long. It
had big writing with a compartment for each day of the week. She
counted out her pills, Zocor, Plavex, Tenorman, and that new one
her doctor gave her for indigestion. Sometimes she took seven pills
in one day, not counting the vitamins she bought from the radio infomercial. Rosemary, her geriatric care manager, would be happy to
see that she was o n top of things. Rosemary came every month just

to look at her fingernails and toes, t o make sure she was not dehydrated, and to check o n the oxygen concentrator and minitank supply that kept Grandma Peanut going on her own two feet. She
wished she had long-term care insurance. She knew that she was
spending her grandchildren's inheritance with all the extra home
care, but what could she do? She considered transferring what
money she had to the kids and filing for the Medicaid program like


Prologue

3

her friend Lucy. But she didn't want t o be restricted in who would
care for her. Besides, she'd have to spend a lot before her eligibility
kicked i n anyway. By then, well, at 91, who knows.
It was already noon and Elizabeth could not believe that her
mother gave her yogurt for lunch again. At 10 A.M. it didn't mean
much to Lizzy that her chances of living past 100 were excellent or
that fatty foods might cause plaque. But, it didn't matter, either. It
was a good day: soccer practice, then violin, and a drive to Westphalia
Gardens to visit Grandma Helen.
By 3 2 0 P.M. Jeannie and Lizzy had pulled up in front of the
stone entry t o Westphalia. It had a good reputation. The nursing
home had made it possible to cope with Grandma Helen's diagnosis
of Alzheimer's disease. Lizzy had a song ready t o sing to Grandma H.
But it was always hit or miss as to whether her grandmother would
recognize her. Sometimes she would talk and talk and have a box of
candy ready. Sometimes she would be just as sweet and talkative, but
had n o idea that Jeannie was her daughter-in-law. At those times
Lizzy knew her mother would drive home i n a funk. Once she put her
hand o n her Mom's and said, "Don't worry, that won't happen to

you." Her mother pulled over to the side of the road and hugged her.
The thought crossed Jeannie's mind that Lizzy might have Helen's genetics. She hugged her little girl tighter.
At dinner, Harold had the look he reserved when he brought
home a present or a surprise. What he had was a brochure from
Equestrian Meadows, a retirement community in Utah that was built
around a world-class horse facility. He wanted to downscale and live
in the equestrian condo. But with his boomerang generation son, his
ten-year-old daughter, his Mom t o visit, his mother-in-law to monitor, and his wife who seemed to have bloomed at menopause, all he
had was the brochure. He hoped he could afford t o stop working.
Meanwhile, he thought he might take some correspondence courses
to get a certification in computer repair. That way he could sort of
semiretire and still run a small business.
Larry arrived from the airport at about 11 P.M. Lizzy was supposed to be asleep, but she secretly waited up for her older brother.
She would be a wreck in the morning. Larry wasn't sure his plan
would really work out. But at age 23, there was n o rush. There was
plenty of time to get a full-time job, settle down, and maybe have
some kids when he was around 40, even 50. After all, Mom was 45


4

HOW NOT TO GO BROKE AT 102!

when she surprised everyone by getting pregnant. Grandma Peanut
was up, too. She was thinking about a peculiar phenomenon that little Lizzy had learned in fourth grade science. For every year you live,
your life expectancy goes up a year and a fraction. So she had not
used up a precious day of her life, but had added a day and a little
more. Grandma Peanut liked the math.