12 Rules for Life an Antidote to Chaos

JordanB.Peterson

12RULESFORLIFE
AnAntidoteforChaos
ForewordbyNormanDoidge
IllustrationsbyEthanVanScriver


TableofContents
ForewordbyNormanDoidge
Overture

/Standupstraightwithyourshouldersback

RULE1

/Treatyourselflikesomeoneyouareresponsibleforhelping

RULE2

RULE3

/Makefriendswithpeoplewhowantthebestforyou

/Compareyourselftowhoyouwereyesterday,nottowhosomeoneelseistoday

RULE4

/Donotletyourchildrendoanythingthatmakesyoudislikethem

RULE5

/Setyourhouseinperfectorderbeforeyoucriticizetheworld

RULE6

/Pursuewhatismeaningful(notwhatisexpedient)

RULE7

/Tellthetruth—or,atleast,don’tlie

RULE8

/Assumethatthepersonyouarelisteningtomightknowsomethingyoudon’t

RULE9

/Bepreciseinyourspeech

RULE10

/Donotbotherchildrenwhentheyareskateboarding

RULE11

/Petacatwhenyouencounteroneonthestreet

RULE12

Coda
Endnotes
Acknowledgements
FollowPenguin


Foreword
Rules?Morerules?Really?Isn’tlifecomplicatedenough,restrictingenough,withoutabstract
rulesthatdon’ttakeourunique,individualsituationsintoaccount?Andgiventhatourbrains
areplastic,andalldevelopdifferentlybasedonourlifeexperiences,whyevenexpectthatafew
rulesmightbehelpfultousall?
Peopledon’tclamourforrules,evenintheBible…aswhenMosescomesdownthe
mountain,afteralongabsence,bearingthetabletsinscribedwithtencommandments,andfinds
theChildrenofIsraelinrevelry.They’dbeenPharaoh’sslavesandsubjecttohistyrannical
regulationsforfourhundredyears,andafterthatMosessubjectedthemtotheharshdesert
wildernessforanotherfortyyears,topurifythemoftheirslavishness.Now,freeatlast,theyare
unbridled,andhavelostallcontrolastheydancewildlyaroundanidol,agoldencalf,
displayingallmannerofcorporealcorruption.
“I’vegotsomegoodnews…andI’vegotsomebadnews,”thelawgiveryellstothem.
“Whichdoyouwantfirst?”
“Thegoodnews!”thehedonistsreply.
“IgotHimfromfifteencommandmentsdowntoten!”
“Hallelujah!”criestheunrulycrowd.“Andthebad?”
“Adulteryisstillin.”
Sorulestherewillbe—but,please,nottoomany.Weareambivalentaboutrules,evenwhen
weknowtheyaregoodforus.Ifwearespiritedsouls,ifwehavecharacter,rulesseem
restrictive,anaffronttooursenseofagencyandourprideinworkingoutourownlives.Why
shouldwebejudgedaccordingtoanother’srule?
Andjudgedweare.Afterall,Goddidn’tgiveMoses“TheTenSuggestions,”hegave
Commandments;andifI’mafreeagent,myfirstreactiontoacommandmightjustbethat

nobody,notevenGod,tellsmewhattodo,evenifit’sgoodforme.Butthestoryofthegolden
calfalsoremindsusthatwithoutruleswequicklybecomeslavestoourpassions—andthere’s
nothingfreeingaboutthat.
Andthestorysuggestssomethingmore:unchaperoned,andlefttoourownuntutored
judgment,wearequicktoaimlowandworshipqualitiesthatarebeneathus—inthiscase,an
artificialanimalthatbringsoutourownanimalinstinctsinacompletelyunregulatedway.The


oldHebrewstorymakesitclearhowtheancientsfeltaboutourprospectsforcivilized
behaviourintheabsenceofrulesthatseektoelevateourgazeandraiseourstandards.
OneneatthingabouttheBiblestoryisthatitdoesn’tsimplylistitsrules,aslawyersor
legislatorsoradministratorsmight;itembedstheminadramatictalethatillustrateswhywe
needthem,therebymakingthemeasiertounderstand.Similarly,inthisbookProfessorPeterson
doesn’tjustproposehistwelverules,hetellsstories,too,bringingtobearhisknowledgeof
manyfieldsasheillustratesandexplainswhythebestrulesdonotultimatelyrestrictusbut
insteadfacilitateourgoalsandmakeforfuller,freerlives.
ThefirsttimeImetJordanPetersonwasonSeptember12,2004,atthehomeoftwomutual
friends,TVproducerWodekSzembergandmedicalinternistEsteraBekier.ItwasWodek’s
birthdayparty.WodekandEsteraarePolishémigréswhogrewupwithintheSovietempire,
whereitwasunderstoodthatmanytopicswereofflimits,andthatcasuallyquestioningcertain
socialarrangementsandphilosophicalideas(nottomentiontheregimeitself)couldmeanbig
trouble.
Butnow,hostandhostessluxuriatedineasygoing,honesttalk,byhavingelegantparties
devotedtothepleasureofsayingwhatyoureallythoughtandhearingothersdothesame,inan
uninhibitedgive-and-take.Here,therulewas“Speakyourmind.”Iftheconversationturnedto
politics,peopleofdifferentpoliticalpersuasionsspoketoeachother—indeed,lookedforward
toit—inamannerthatisincreasinglyrare.SometimesWodek’sownopinions,ortruths,
explodedoutofhim,asdidhislaugh.Thenhe’dhugwhoeverhadmadehimlaughorprovoked
himtospeakhismindwithgreaterintensitythanevenhemighthaveintended.Thiswasthe
bestpartoftheparties,andthisfrankness,andhiswarmembraces,madeitworthprovoking

him.Meanwhile,Estera’svoiceliltedacrosstheroomonaveryprecisepathtowardsits
intendedlistener.Truthexplosionsdidn’tmaketheatmosphereanylesseasygoingforthe
company—theymadeformoretruthexplosions!—liberatingus,andmorelaughs,andmaking
thewholeeveningmorepleasant,becausewithde-repressingEasternEuropeanslikethe
Szemberg-Bekiers,youalwaysknewwithwhatandwithwhomyouweredealing,andthat
franknesswasenlivening.HonorédeBalzac,thenovelist,oncedescribedtheballsandparties
inhisnativeFrance,observingthatwhatappearedtobeasinglepartywasalwaysreallytwo.In
thefirsthours,thegatheringwassuffusedwithboredpeopleposingandposturing,and
attendeeswhocametomeetperhapsonespecialpersonwhowouldconfirmthemintheir
beautyandstatus.Then,onlyintheverylatehours,aftermostoftheguestshadleft,wouldthe
secondparty,therealparty,begin.Heretheconversationwassharedbyeachpersonpresent,
andopen-heartedlaughterreplacedthestarchyairs.AtEsteraandWodek’sparties,thiskindof
wee-hours-of-the-morningdisclosureandintimacyoftenbeganassoonasweenteredtheroom.
Wodekisasilver-haired,lion-manedhunter,alwaysonthelookoutforpotentialpublic
intellectuals,whoknowshowtospotpeoplewhocanreallytalkinfrontofaTVcameraand
wholookauthenticbecausetheyare(thecamerapicksuponthat).Heofteninvitessuchpeople
tothesesalons.ThatdayWodekbroughtapsychologyprofessor,frommyownUniversityof
Toronto,whofitthebill:intellectandemotionintandem.WodekwasthefirsttoputJordan
Petersoninfrontofacamera,andthoughtofhimasateacherinsearchofstudents—becausehe
wasalwaysreadytoexplain.Andithelpedthathelikedthecameraandthatthecameraliked
himback.


ThatafternoontherewasalargetablesetoutsideintheSzemberg-Bekiers’garden;aroundit
wasgatheredtheusualcollectionoflipsandears,andloquaciousvirtuosos.Weseemed,
however,tobeplaguedbyabuzzingpaparazziofbees,andherewasthisnewfellowatthe
table,withanAlbertanaccent,incowboyboots,whowasignoringthem,andkeptontalking.
Hekepttalkingwhiletherestofuswereplayingmusicalchairstokeepawayfromthepests,
yetalsotryingtoremainatthetablebecausethisnewadditiontoourgatheringswasso
interesting.

Hehadthisoddhabitofspeakingaboutthedeepestquestionstowhoeverwasatthistable—
mostofthemnewacquaintances—asthoughhewerejustmakingsmalltalk.Or,ifhediddo
smalltalk,theintervalbetween“HowdoyouknowWodekandEstera?”or“Iwasabeekeeper
once,soI’musedtothem”andmoreserioustopicswouldbenanoseconds.
Onemighthearsuchquestionsdiscussedatpartieswhereprofessorsandprofessionalsgather,
butusuallytheconversationwouldremainbetweentwospecialistsinthetopic,offinacorner,
orifsharedwiththewholegroupitwasoftennotwithoutsomeonepreening.ButthisPeterson,
thougherudite,didn’tcomeacrossasapedant.Hehadtheenthusiasmofakidwhohadjust
learnedsomethingnewandhadtoshareit.Heseemedtobeassuming,asachildwould—before
learninghowdulledadultscanbecome—thatifhethoughtsomethingwasinteresting,thenso
mightothers.Therewassomethingboyishinthecowboy,inhisbroachingofsubjectsasthough
wehadallgrownuptogetherinthesamesmalltown,orfamily,andhadallbeenthinkingabout
theverysameproblemsofhumanexistenceallalong.
Petersonwasn’treallyan“eccentric”;hehadsufficientconventionalchops,hadbeena
Harvardprofessor,wasagentleman(ascowboyscanbe)thoughhedidsaydamnandbloodya
lot,inarural1950ssortofway.Buteveryonelistened,withfascinationontheirfaces,because
hewasinfactaddressingquestionsofconcerntoeveryoneatthetable.
Therewassomethingfreeingaboutbeingwithapersonsolearnedyetspeakinginsuchan
uneditedway.Histhinkingwasmotoric;itseemedheneededtothinkaloud,tousehismotor
cortextothink,butthatmotoralsohadtorunfasttoworkproperly.Togettoliftoff.Notquite
manic,buthisidlingspeedrevvedhigh.Spiritedthoughtsweretumblingout.Butunlikemany
academicswhotakethefloorandholdit,ifsomeonechallengedorcorrectedhimhereally
seemedtolikeit.Hedidn’trearupandneigh.He’dsay,inakindoffolksyway,“Yeah,”and
bowhisheadinvoluntarily,wagitifhehadoverlookedsomething,laughingathimselffor
overgeneralizing.Heappreciatedbeingshownanothersideofanissue,anditbecameclearthat
thinkingthroughaproblemwas,forhim,adialogicprocess.
Onecouldnotbutbestruckbyanotherunusualthingabouthim:foraneggheadPetersonwas
extremelypractical.Hisexampleswerefilledwithapplicationstoeverydaylife:business
management,howtomakefurniture(hemademuchofhisown),designingasimplehouse,
makingaroombeautiful(nowaninternetmeme)orinanother,specificcaserelatedto

education,creatinganonlinewritingprojectthatkeptminoritystudentsfromdroppingoutof
schoolbygettingthemtodoakindofpsychoanalyticexerciseonthemselves,inwhichthey
wouldfree-associateabouttheirpast,presentandfuture(nowknownastheSelf-Authoring
Program).
Iwasalwaysespeciallyfondofmid-Western,Prairietypeswhocomefromafarm(where
theylearnedallaboutnature),orfromaverysmalltown,andwhohaveworkedwiththeir
handstomakethings,spentlongperiodsoutsideintheharshelements,andareoftenself-


educatedandgotouniversityagainsttheodds.Ifoundthemquiteunliketheirsophisticatedbut
somewhatdenaturedurbancounterparts,forwhomhighereducationwaspre-ordained,andfor
thatreasonsometimestakenforgranted,orthoughtofnotasanendinitselfbutsimplyasalife
stageintheserviceofcareeradvancement.TheseWesternersweredifferent:self-made,
unentitled,handson,neighbourlyandlesspreciousthanmanyoftheirbig-citypeers,who
increasinglyspendtheirlivesindoors,manipulatingsymbolsoncomputers.Thiscowboy
psychologistseemedtocareaboutathoughtonlyifitmight,insomeway,behelpfulto
someone.
Webecamefriends.Asapsychiatristandpsychoanalystwholovesliterature,Iwasdrawnto
himbecauseherewasaclinicianwhoalsohadgivenhimselfagreatbookseducation,andwho
notonlylovedsoulfulRussiannovels,philosophyandancientmythology,butwhoalsoseemed
totreatthemashismosttreasuredinheritance.Buthealsodidilluminatingstatisticalresearch
onpersonalityandtemperament,andhadstudiedneuroscience.Thoughtrainedasa
behaviourist,hewaspowerfullydrawntopsychoanalysiswithitsfocusondreams,archetypes,
thepersistenceofchildhoodconflictsintheadult,andtheroleofdefencesandrationalizationin
everydaylife.Hewasalsoanoutlierinbeingtheonlymemberoftheresearch-oriented
DepartmentofPsychologyattheUniversityofTorontowhoalsokeptaclinicalpractice.
Onmyvisits,ourconversationsbeganwithbanterandlaughter—thatwasthesmall-town
PetersonfromtheAlbertahinterland—histeenageyearsrightoutofthemovieFUBAR—
welcomingyouintohishome.ThehousehadbeenguttedbyTammy,hiswife,andhimself,and
turnedintoperhapsthemostfascinatingandshockingmiddle-classhomeIhadseen.Theyhad

art,somecarvedmasks,andabstractportraits,buttheywereoverwhelmedbyahugecollection
oforiginalSocialistRealistpaintingsofLeninandtheearlyCommunistscommissionedbythe
USSR.NotlongaftertheSovietUnionfell,andmostoftheworldbreathedasighofrelief,
Petersonbeganpurchasingthispropagandaforasongonline.PaintingslionizingtheSoviet
revolutionaryspiritcompletelyfilledeverysinglewall,theceilings,eventhebathrooms.The
paintingswerenottherebecauseJordanhadanytotalitariansympathies,butbecausehewanted
toremindhimselfofsomethingheknewheandeveryonewouldratherforget:thathundredsof
millionsweremurderedinthenameofutopia.
Ittookgettingusedto,thissemi-hauntedhouse“decorated”byadelusionthathadpractically
destroyedmankind.Butitwaseasedbyhiswonderfulanduniquespouse,Tammy,whowasall
in,whoembracedandencouragedthisunusualneedforexpression!Thesepaintingsprovideda
visitorwiththefirstwindowontothefullextentofJordan’sconcernaboutourhumancapacity
forevilinthenameofgood,andthepsychologicalmysteryofself-deception(howcanaperson
deceivehimselfandgetawaywithit?)—aninterestweshare.Andthentherewerealsothe
hourswe’dspenddiscussingwhatImightcallalesserproblem(lesserbecauserarer),the
humancapacityforevilforthesakeofevil,thejoysomepeopletakeindestroyingothers,
capturedfamouslybytheseventeenth-centuryEnglishpoetJohnMiltoninParadiseLost.
Andsowe’dchatandhaveourteainhiskitchen-underworld,walledbythisoddart
collection,avisualmarkerofhisearnestquesttomovebeyondsimplisticideology,leftorright,
andnotrepeatmistakesofthepast.Afterawhile,therewasnothingpeculiarabouttakingteain
thekitchen,discussingfamilyissues,one’slatestreading,withthoseominouspictureshovering.
Itwasjustlivingintheworldasitwas,orinsomeplaces,is.


InJordan’sfirstandonlybookbeforethisone,MapsofMeaning,heshareshisprofound
insightsintouniversalthemesofworldmythology,andexplainshowallcultureshavecreated
storiestohelpusgrapplewith,andultimatelymap,thechaosintowhichwearethrownatbirth;
thischaosiseverythingthatisunknowntous,andanyunexploredterritorythatwemust
traverse,beitintheworldoutsideorthepsychewithin.
Combiningevolution,theneuroscienceofemotion,someofthebestofJung,someofFreud,

muchofthegreatworksofNietzsche,Dostoevsky,Solzhenitsyn,Eliade,Neumann,Piaget,Frye
andFrankl,MapsofMeaning,publishednearlytwodecadesago,showsJordan’swide-ranging
approachtounderstandinghowhumanbeingsandthehumanbraindealwiththearchetypal
situationthatariseswheneverwe,inourdailylives,mustfacesomethingwedonotunderstand.
Thebrillianceofthebookisinhisdemonstrationofhowrootedthissituationisinevolution,
ourDNA,ourbrainsandourmostancientstories.Andheshowsthatthesestorieshave
survivedbecausetheystillprovideguidanceindealingwithuncertainty,andtheunavoidable
unknown.
Oneofthemanyvirtuesofthebookyouarereadingnowisthatitprovidesanentrypoint
intoMapsofMeaning,whichisahighlycomplexworkbecauseJordanwasworkingouthis
approachtopsychologyashewroteit.Butitwasfoundational,becausenomatterhowdifferent
ourgenesorlifeexperiencesmaybe,orhowdifferentlyourplasticbrainsarewiredbyour
experience,weallhavetodealwiththeunknown,andweallattempttomovefromchaosto
order.Andthisiswhymanyoftherulesinthisbook,beingbasedonMapsofMeaning,havean
elementofuniversalitytothem.
MapsofMeaningwassparkedbyJordan’sagonizedawareness,asateenagergrowingupinthe
midstoftheColdWar,thatmuchofmankindseemedonthevergeofblowinguptheplanetto
defendtheirvariousidentities.Hefelthehadtounderstandhowitcouldbethatpeoplewould
sacrificeeverythingforan“identity,”whateverthatwas.Andhefelthehadtounderstandthe
ideologiesthatdrovetotalitarianregimestoavariantofthatsamebehaviour:killingtheirown
citizens.InMapsofMeaning,andagaininthisbook,oneofthemattershecautionsreadersto
bemostwaryofisideology,nomatterwhoispeddlingitortowhatend.
Ideologiesaresimpleideas,disguisedasscienceorphilosophy,thatpurporttoexplainthe
complexityoftheworldandofferremediesthatwillperfectit.Ideologuesarepeoplewho
pretendtheyknowhowto“maketheworldabetterplace”beforethey’vetakencareoftheir
ownchaoswithin.(Thewarrioridentitythattheirideologygivesthemcoversoverthatchaos.)
That’shubris,ofcourse,andoneofthemostimportantthemesofthisbook,is“setyourhouse
inorder”first,andJordanprovidespracticaladviceonhowtodothis.
Ideologiesaresubstitutesfortrueknowledge,andideologuesarealwaysdangerouswhen
theycometopower,becauseasimple-mindedI-know-it-allapproachisnomatchforthe

complexityofexistence.Furthermore,whentheirsocialcontraptionsfailtofly,ideologues
blamenotthemselvesbutallwhoseethroughthesimplifications.AnothergreatUofT
professor,LewisFeuer,inhisbookIdeologyandtheIdeologists,observedthatideologiesretool
theveryreligiousstoriestheypurporttohavesupplanted,buteliminatethenarrativeand
psychologicalrichness.CommunismborrowedfromthestoryoftheChildrenofIsraelinEgypt,
withanenslavedclass,richpersecutors,aleader,likeLenin,whogoesabroad,livesamongthe
enslavers,andthenleadstheenslavedtothepromisedland(theutopia;thedictatorshipofthe


proletariat).
Tounderstandideology,JordanreadextensivelyaboutnotonlytheSovietgulag,butalsothe
HolocaustandtheriseofNazism.Ihadneverbeforemetaperson,bornChristianandofmy
generation,whowassoutterlytormentedbywhathappenedinEuropetotheJews,andwhohad
workedsohardtounderstandhowitcouldhaveoccurred.Itoohadstudiedthisindepth.My
ownfathersurvivedAuschwitz.Mygrandmotherwasmiddle-agedwhenshestoodfacetoface
withDr.JosefMengele,theNaziphysicianwhoconductedunspeakablycruelexperimentson
hisvictims,andshesurvivedAuschwitzbydisobeyinghisordertojointhelinewiththeelderly,
thegreyandtheweak,andinsteadslippingintoalinewithyoungerpeople.Sheavoidedthegas
chambersasecondtimebytradingfoodforhairdyesoshewouldn’tbemurderedforlooking
tooold.Mygrandfather,herhusband,survivedtheMauthausenconcentrationcamp,butchoked
todeathonthefirstpieceofsolidfoodhewasgiven,justbeforeliberationday.Irelatethis,
becauseyearsafterwebecamefriends,whenJordanwouldtakeaclassicalliberalstandforfree
speech,hewouldbeaccusedbyleft-wingextremistsasbeingaright-wingbigot.
Letmesay,withallthemoderationIcansummon:atbest,thoseaccusershavesimplynot
donetheirduediligence.Ihave;withafamilyhistorysuchasmine,onedevelopsnotonly
radar,butunderwatersonarforright-wingbigotry;butevenmoreimportant,onelearnsto
recognizethekindofpersonwiththecomprehension,tools,goodwillandcouragetocombatit,
andJordanPetersonisthatperson.
Myowndissatisfactionwithmodernpoliticalscience’sattemptstounderstandtheriseof
Nazism,totalitarianismandprejudicewasamajorfactorinmydecisiontosupplementmy

studiesofpoliticalsciencewiththestudyoftheunconscious,projection,psychoanalysis,the
regressivepotentialofgrouppsychology,psychiatryandthebrain.Jordanswitchedoutof
politicalscienceforsimilarreasons.Withtheseimportantparallelinterests,wedidn’talways
agreeon“theanswers”(thankGod),butwealmostalwaysagreedonthequestions.
Ourfriendshipwasn’talldoomandgloom.Ihavemadeahabitofattendingmyfellow
professors’classesatouruniversity,andsoattendedhis,whichwerealwayspacked,andIsaw
whatnowmillionshaveseenonline:abrilliant,oftendazzlingpublicspeakerwhowasathis
bestriffinglikeajazzartist;attimesheresembledanardentPrairiepreacher(notin
evangelizing,butinhispassion,inhisabilitytotellstoriesthatconveythelife-stakesthatgo
withbelievingordisbelievingvariousideas).Thenhe’djustaseasilyswitchtodoa
breathtakinglysystematicsummaryofaseriesofscientificstudies.Hewasamasterathelping
studentsbecomemorereflective,andtakethemselvesandtheirfuturesseriously.Hetaught
themtorespectmanyofthegreatestbookseverwritten.Hegavevividexamplesfromclinical
practice,was(appropriately)self-revealing,evenofhisownvulnerabilities,andmade
fascinatinglinksbetweenevolution,thebrainandreligiousstories.Inaworldwherestudents
aretaughttoseeevolutionandreligionassimplyopposed(bythinkerslikeRichardDawkins),
Jordanshowedhisstudentshowevolution,ofallthings,helpstoexplaintheprofound
psychologicalappealandwisdomofmanyancientstories,fromGilgameshtothelifeofthe
Buddha,EgyptianmythologyandtheBible.Heshowed,forinstance,howstoriesabout
journeyingvoluntarilyintotheunknown—thehero’squest—mirroruniversaltasksforwhich
thebrainevolved.Herespectedthestories,wasnotreductionist,andneverclaimedtoexhaust
theirwisdom.Ifhediscussedatopicsuchasprejudice,oritsemotionalrelativesfearand
disgust,orthedifferencesbetweenthesexesonaverage,hewasabletoshowhowthesetraits


evolvedandwhytheysurvived.
Aboveall,healertedhisstudentstotopicsrarelydiscussedinuniversity,suchasthesimple
factthatalltheancients,fromBuddhatothebiblicalauthors,knewwhateveryslightlywornoutadultknows,thatlifeissuffering.Ifyouaresuffering,orsomeoneclosetoyouis,that’ssad.
Butalas,it’snotparticularlyspecial.Wedon’tsufferonlybecause“politiciansaredimwitted,”
or“thesystemiscorrupt,”orbecauseyouandI,likealmosteveryoneelse,canlegitimately

describeourselves,insomeway,asavictimofsomethingorsomeone.Itisbecauseweareborn
humanthatweareguaranteedagooddoseofsuffering.Andchancesare,ifyouorsomeoneyou
loveisnotsufferingnow,theywillbewithinfiveyears,unlessyouarefreakishlylucky.
Rearingkidsishard,workishard,aging,sicknessanddeatharehard,andJordanemphasized
thatdoingallthattotallyonyourown,withoutthebenefitofalovingrelationship,orwisdom,
orthepsychologicalinsightsofthegreatestpsychologists,onlymakesitharder.Hewasn’t
scaringthestudents;infact,theyfoundthisfranktalkreassuring,becauseinthedepthsoftheir
psyches,mostofthemknewwhathesaidwastrue,eveniftherewasneveraforumtodiscussit
—perhapsbecausetheadultsintheirliveshadbecomesonaivelyoverprotectivethatthey
deludedthemselvesintothinkingthatnottalkingaboutsufferingwouldinsomewaymagically
protecttheirchildrenfromit.
Herehewouldrelatethemythofthehero,across-culturalthemeexploredpsychoanalytically
byOttoRank,whonoted,followingFreud,thatheromythsaresimilarinmanycultures,a
themethatwaspickedupbyCarlJung,JosephCampbellandErichNeumann,amongothers.
WhereFreudmadegreatcontributionsinexplainingneurosesby,amongotherthings,focusing
onunderstandingwhatwemightcallafailed-herostory(thatofOedipus),Jordanfocusedon
triumphantheroes.Inallthesetriumphstories,theherohastogointotheunknown,intoan
unexploredterritory,anddealwithanewgreatchallengeandtakegreatrisks.Intheprocess,
somethingofhimselfhastodie,orbegivenup,sohecanberebornandmeetthechallenge.
Thisrequirescourage,somethingrarelydiscussedinapsychologyclassortextbook.Duringhis
recentpublicstandforfreespeechandagainstwhatIcall“forcedspeech”(becauseitinvolvesa
governmentforcingcitizenstovoicepoliticalviews),thestakeswereveryhigh;hehadmuchto
lose,andknewit.Nonetheless,Isawhim(andTammy,forthatmatter)notonlydisplaysuch
courage,butalsocontinuetolivebymanyoftherulesinthisbook,someofwhichcanbevery
demanding.
Isawhimgrow,fromtheremarkablepersonhewas,intosomeoneevenmoreableand
assured—throughlivingbytheserules.Infact,itwastheprocessofwritingthisbook,and
developingtheserules,thatledhimtotakethestandhedidagainstforcedorcompelledspeech.
Andthatiswhy,duringthoseevents,hestartedpostingsomeofhisthoughtsaboutlifeand
theserulesontheinternet.Now,over100millionYouTubehitslater,weknowtheyhavestruck

achord.
Givenourdistasteforrules,howdoweexplaintheextraordinaryresponsetohislectures,which
giverules?InJordan’scase,itwasofcoursehischarismaandararewillingnesstostandfora
principlethatgothimawidehearingonlineinitially;viewsofhisfirstYouTubestatements
quicklynumberedinthehundredsofthousands.Butpeoplehavekeptlisteningbecausewhathe
issayingmeetsadeepandunarticulatedneed.Andthatisbecausealongsideourwishtobefree
ofrules,weallsearchforstructure.


Thehungeramongmanyyoungerpeopleforrules,oratleastguidelines,isgreatertodayfor
goodreason.IntheWestatleast,millennialsarelivingthroughauniquehistoricalsituation.
Theyare,Ibelieve,thefirstgenerationtohavebeensothoroughlytaughttwoseemingly
contradictoryideasaboutmorality,simultaneously—attheirschools,collegesanduniversities,
bymanyinmyowngeneration.Thiscontradictionhasleftthemattimesdisorientedand
uncertain,withoutguidanceand,moretragically,deprivedofrichestheydon’tevenknowexist.
Thefirstideaorteachingisthatmoralityisrelative,atbestapersonal“valuejudgment.”
Relativemeansthatthereisnoabsoluterightorwronginanything;instead,moralityandthe
rulesassociatedwithitarejustamatterofpersonalopinionorhappenstance,“relativeto”or
“relatedto”aparticularframework,suchasone’sethnicity,one’supbringing,orthecultureor
historicalmomentoneisborninto.It’snothingbutanaccidentofbirth.Accordingtothis
argument(nowacreed),historyteachesthatreligions,tribes,nationsandethnicgroupstendto
disagreeaboutfundamentalmatters,andalwayshave.Today,thepostmodernistleftmakesthe
additionalclaimthatonegroup’smoralityisnothingbutitsattempttoexercisepowerover
anothergroup.So,thedecentthingtodo—onceitbecomesapparenthowarbitraryyour,and
yoursociety’s,“moralvalues”are—istoshowtoleranceforpeoplewhothinkdifferently,and
whocomefromdifferent(diverse)backgrounds.Thatemphasisontoleranceissoparamount
thatformanypeopleoneoftheworstcharacterflawsapersoncanhaveistobe“judgmental.”
And,sincewedon’tknowrightfromwrong,orwhatisgood,justaboutthemostinappropriate
thinganadultcandoisgiveayoungpersonadviceabouthowtolive.
Andsoagenerationhasbeenraiseduntutoredinwhatwasoncecalled,aptly,“practical

wisdom,”whichguidedpreviousgenerations.Millennials,oftentoldtheyhavereceivedthe
finesteducationavailableanywhere,haveactuallysufferedaformofseriousintellectualand
moralneglect.TherelativistsofmygenerationandJordan’s,manyofwhombecametheir
professors,chosetodevaluethousandsofyearsofhumanknowledgeabouthowtoacquire
virtue,dismissingitaspassé,“notrelevant”oreven“oppressive.”Theyweresosuccessfulatit
thattheveryword“virtue”soundsoutofdate,andsomeoneusingitappearsanachronistically
moralisticandself-righteous.
Thestudyofvirtueisnotquitethesameasthestudyofmorals(rightandwrong,goodand
evil).Aristotledefinedthevirtuessimplyasthewaysofbehavingthataremostconduciveto
happinessinlife.Vicewasdefinedasthewaysofbehavingleastconducivetohappiness.He
observedthatthevirtuesalwaysaimforbalanceandavoidtheextremesofthevices.Aristotle
studiedthevirtuesandthevicesinhisNicomacheanEthics.Itwasabookbasedonexperience
andobservation,notconjecture,aboutthekindofhappinessthatwaspossibleforhuman
beings.Cultivatingjudgmentaboutthedifferencebetweenvirtueandviceisthebeginningof
wisdom,somethingthatcanneverbeoutofdate.
Bycontrast,ourmodernrelativismbeginsbyassertingthatmakingjudgmentsabouthowto
liveisimpossible,becausethereisnorealgood,andnotruevirtue(asthesetooarerelative).
Thusrelativism’sclosestapproximationto“virtue”is“tolerance.”Onlytolerancewillprovide
socialcohesionbetweendifferentgroups,andsaveusfromharmingeachother.OnFacebook
andotherformsofsocialmedia,therefore,yousignalyourso-calledvirtue,tellingeveryone
howtolerant,openandcompassionateyouare,andwaitforlikestoaccumulate.(Leaveaside
thattellingpeopleyou’revirtuousisn’tavirtue,it’sself-promotion.Virtuesignallingisnot
virtue.Virtuesignallingis,quitepossibly,ourcommonestvice.)

fn1


Intoleranceofothers’views(nomatterhowignorantorincoherenttheymaybe)isnotsimply
wrong;inaworldwherethereisnorightorwrong,itisworse:itisasignyouare
embarrassinglyunsophisticatedor,possibly,dangerous.

Butitturnsoutthatmanypeoplecannottoleratethevacuum—thechaos—whichisinherent
inlife,butmadeworsebythismoralrelativism;theycannotlivewithoutamoralcompass,
withoutanidealatwhichtoaimintheirlives.(Forrelativists,idealsarevaluestoo,andlikeall
values,theyaremerely“relative”andhardlyworthsacrificingfor.)So,rightalongside
relativism,wefindthespreadofnihilismanddespair,andalsotheoppositeofmoralrelativism:
theblindcertaintyofferedbyideologiesthatclaimtohaveananswerforeverything.
Andsowearriveatthesecondteachingthatmillennialshavebeenbombardedwith.They
signupforahumanitiescourse,tostudygreatestbookseverwritten.Butthey’renotassigned
thebooks;insteadtheyaregivenideologicalattacksonthem,basedonsomeappalling
simplification.Wheretherelativistisfilledwithuncertainty,theideologueistheveryopposite.
Heorsheishyper-judgmentalandcensorious,alwaysknowswhat’swrongaboutothers,and
whattodoaboutit.Sometimesitseemstheonlypeoplewillingtogiveadviceinarelativistic
societyarethosewiththeleasttooffer.
Modernmoralrelativismhasmanysources.AsweintheWestlearnedmorehistory,we
understoodthatdifferentepochshaddifferentmoralcodes.Aswetravelledtheseasand
exploredtheglobe,welearnedoffar-flungtribesondifferentcontinentswhosedifferentmoral
codesmadesenserelativeto,orwithintheframeworkof,theirsocieties.Scienceplayedarole,
too,byattackingthereligiousviewoftheworld,andthusunderminingthereligiousgroundsfor
ethicsandrules.Materialistsocialscienceimpliedthatwecoulddividetheworldintofacts
(whichallcouldobserve,andwereobjectiveand“real”)andvalues(whichweresubjectiveand
personal).Thenwecouldfirstagreeonthefacts,and,maybe,oneday,developascientificcode
ofethics(whichhasyettoarrive).Moreover,byimplyingthatvalueshadalesserrealitythan
facts,sciencecontributedinyetanotherwaytomoralrelativism,forittreated“value”as
secondary.(Buttheideathatwecaneasilyseparatefactsandvalueswasandremainsnaive;to
someextent,one’svaluesdeterminewhatonewillpayattentionto,andwhatwillcountasa
fact.)
Theideathatdifferentsocietieshaddifferentrulesandmoralswasknowntotheancient
worldtoo,anditisinterestingtocompareitsresponsetothisrealizationwiththemodern
response(relativism,nihilismandideology).WhentheancientGreekssailedtoIndiaand
elsewhere,theytoodiscoveredthatrules,moralsandcustomsdifferedfromplacetoplace,and

sawthattheexplanationforwhatwasrightandwrongwasoftenrootedinsomeancestral
authority.TheGreekresponsewasnotdespair,butanewinvention:philosophy.
Socrates,reactingtotheuncertaintybredbyawarenessoftheseconflictingmoralcodes,
decidedthatinsteadofbecominganihilist,arelativistoranideologue,hewoulddevotehislife
tothesearchforwisdomthatcouldreasonaboutthesedifferences,i.e.,hehelpedinvent
philosophy.Hespenthislifeaskingperplexing,foundationalquestions,suchas“Whatis
virtue?”and“Howcanonelivethegoodlife?”and“Whatisjustice?”andhelookedatdifferent
approaches,askingwhichseemedmostcoherentandmostinaccordwithhumannature.These
arethekindsofquestionsthatIbelieveanimatethisbook.
Fortheancients,thediscoverythatdifferentpeoplehavedifferentideasabouthow,


practically,tolive,didnotparalyzethem;itdeepenedtheirunderstandingofhumanityandled
tosomeofthemostsatisfyingconversationshumanbeingshaveeverhad,abouthowlifemight
belived.
Likewise,Aristotle.Insteadofdespairingaboutthesedifferencesinmoralcodes,Aristotle
arguedthatthoughspecificrules,lawsandcustomsdifferedfromplacetoplace,whatdoesnot
differisthatinallplaceshumanbeings,bytheirnature,haveaproclivitytomakerules,laws
andcustoms.Toputthisinmodernterms,itseemsthatallhumanbeingsare,bysomekindof
biologicalendowment,soineradicablyconcernedwithmoralitythatwecreateastructureof
lawsandruleswhereverweare.Theideathathumanlifecanbefreeofmoralconcernsisa
fantasy.
Wearerulegenerators.Andgiventhatwearemoralanimals,whatmustbetheeffectofour
simplisticmodernrelativismuponus?Itmeanswearehobblingourselvesbypretendingtobe
somethingwearenot.Itisamask,butastrangeone,foritmostlydeceivestheonewhowears
it.Scccccratccchthemostcleverpostmodern-relativistprofessor’sMercedeswithakey,and
youwillseehowfastthemaskofrelativism(withitspretensethattherecanbeneitherrightnor
wrong)andthecloakofradicaltolerancecomeoff.
Becausewedonotyethaveanethicsbasedonmodernscience,Jordanisnottryingto
develophisrulesbywipingtheslateclean—bydismissingthousandsofyearsofwisdomas

meresuperstitionandignoringourgreatestmoralachievements.Farbettertointegratethebest
ofwhatwearenowlearningwiththebookshumanbeingssawfittopreserveovermillennia,
andwiththestoriesthathavesurvived,againstallodds,time’stendencytoobliterate.
Heisdoingwhatreasonableguideshavealwaysdone:hemakesnoclaimthathuman
wisdombeginswithhimself,but,rather,turnsfirsttohisownguides.Andalthoughthetopics
inthisbookareserious,Jordanoftenhasgreatfunaddressingthemwithalighttouch,asthe
chapterheadingsconvey.Hemakesnoclaimtobeexhaustive,andsometimesthechapters
consistofwide-rangingdiscussionsofourpsychologyasheunderstandsit.
Sowhynotcallthisabookof“guidelines,”afarmorerelaxed,user-friendlyandlessrigid
soundingtermthan“rules”?
Becausethesereallyarerules.Andtheforemostruleisthatyoumusttakeresponsibilityfor
yourownlife.Period.
Onemightthinkthatagenerationthathasheardendlessly,fromtheirmoreideological
teachers,abouttherights,rights,rightsthatbelongtothem,wouldobjecttobeingtoldthatthey
woulddobettertofocusinsteadontakingresponsibility.Yetthisgeneration,manyofwhom
wereraisedinsmallfamiliesbyhyper-protectiveparents,onsoft-surfaceplaygrounds,andthen
taughtinuniversitieswith“safespaces”wheretheydon’thavetohearthingstheydon’twantto
—schooledtoberisk-averse—hasamongit,now,millionswhofeelstultifiedbythis
underestimationoftheirpotentialresilienceandwhohaveembracedJordan’smessagethateach
individualhasultimateresponsibilitytobear;thatifonewantstoliveafulllife,onefirstsets
one’sownhouseinorder;andonlythencanonesensiblyaimtotakeonbiggerresponsibilities.
Theextentofthisreactionhasoftenmovedbothofustothebrinkoftears.
Sometimestheserulesaredemanding.Theyrequireyoutoundertakeanincrementalprocess
thatovertimewillstretchyoutoanewlimit.Thatrequires,asI’vesaid,venturingintothe
unknown.Stretchingyourselfbeyondtheboundariesofyourcurrentselfrequirescarefully
choosingandthenpursuingideals:idealsthatareupthere,aboveyou,superiortoyou—andthat


youcan’talwaysbesureyouwillreach.
Butifit’suncertainthatouridealsareattainable,whydowebotherreachinginthefirst

place?Becauseifyoudon’treachforthem,itiscertainyouwillneverfeelthatyourlifehas
meaning.
Andperhapsbecause,asunfamiliarandstrangeasitsounds,inthedeepestpartofour
psyche,weallwanttobejudged.
Dr.NormanDoidge,MD,istheauthor
ofTheBrainThatChangesItself


Overture
Thisbookhasashorthistoryandalonghistory.We’llbeginwiththeshorthistory.
In2012,IstartedcontributingtoawebsitecalledQuora.OnQuora,anyonecanaska
question,ofanysort—andanyonecananswer.Readersupvotethoseanswerstheylike,and
downvotethosetheydon’t.Inthismanner,themostusefulanswersrisetothetop,whilethe
otherssinkintooblivion.Iwascuriousaboutthesite.Ilikeditsfree-for-allnature.The
discussionwasoftencompelling,anditwasinterestingtoseethediverserangeofopinions
generatedbythesamequestion.
WhenIwastakingabreak(oravoidingwork),IoftenturnedtoQuora,lookingforquestions
toengagewith.Iconsidered,andeventuallyanswered,suchquestionsas“What’sthedifference
betweenbeinghappyandbeingcontent?”,“Whatthingsgetbetterasyouage?”and“What
makeslifemoremeaningful?”
Quoratellsyouhowmanypeoplehaveviewedyouranswerandhowmanyupvotesyou
received.Thus,youcandetermineyourreach,andseewhatpeoplethinkofyourideas.Onlya
smallminorityofthosewhoviewananswerupvoteit.AsofJuly2017,asIwritethis—andfive
yearsafterIaddressed“Whatmakeslifemoremeaningful?”—myanswertothatquestionhas
receivedarelativelysmallaudience(14,000views,and133upvotes),whilemyresponsetothe
questionaboutaginghasbeenviewedby7,200peopleandreceived36upvotes.Notexactly
homeruns.However,it’stobeexpected.Onsuchsites,mostanswersreceiveverylittle
attention,whileatinyminoritybecomedisproportionatelypopular.
Soonafter,Iansweredanotherquestion:“Whatarethemostvaluablethingseveryoneshould
know?”Iwrotealistofrules,ormaxims;somedeadserious,sometongue-in-cheek—“Be

gratefulinspiteofyoursuffering,”“Donotdothingsthatyouhate,”“Donothidethingsinthe
fog,”andsoon.TheQuorareadersappearedpleasedwiththislist.Theycommentedonand
sharedit.Theysaidsuchthingsas“I’mdefinitelyprintingthislistoutandkeepingitasa
reference.Simplyphenomenal,”and“YouwinQuora.Wecanjustclosethesitenow.”Students
attheUniversityofToronto,whereIteach,cameuptomeandtoldmehowmuchtheylikedit.
Todate,myanswerto“Whatarethemostvaluablethings…”hasbeenviewedbyahundred
andtwentythousandpeopleandbeenupvotedtwenty-threehundredtimes.Onlyafewhundred
oftheroughlysixhundredthousandquestionsonQuorahavecrackedthetwo-thousand-upvote


barrier.Myprocrastination-inducedmusingshitanerve.Ihadwrittena99.9percentileanswer.
ItwasnotobvioustomewhenIwrotethelistofrulesforlivingthatitwasgoingtoperform
sowell.IhadputafairbitofcareintoallthesixtyorsoanswersIsubmittedinthefewmonths
surroundingthatpost.Nonetheless,Quoraprovidesmarketresearchatitsfinest.The
respondentsareanonymous.They’redisinterested,inthebestsense.Theiropinionsare
spontaneousandunbiased.So,Ipaidattentiontotheresults,andthoughtaboutthereasonsfor
thatanswer’sdisproportionatesuccess.PerhapsIstrucktherightbalancebetweenthefamiliar
andtheunfamiliarwhileformulatingtherules.Perhapspeopleweredrawntothestructurethat
suchrulesimply.Perhapspeoplejustlikelists.
Afewmonthsearlier,inMarchof2012,Ihadreceivedanemailfromaliteraryagent.She
hadheardmespeakonCBCradioduringashowentitledJustSayNotoHappiness,whereIhad
criticizedtheideathathappinesswasthepropergoalforlife.OverthepreviousdecadesIhad
readmorethanmyshareofdarkbooksaboutthetwentiethcentury,focusingparticularlyon
NaziGermanyandtheSovietUnion.AleksandrSolzhenitsyn,thegreatdocumenterofthe
slave-labour-camphorrorsofthelatter,oncewrotethatthe“pitifulideology”holdingthat
“humanbeingsarecreatedforhappiness”wasanideology“doneinbythefirstblowofthe
workassigner’scudgel.”1Inacrisis,theinevitablesufferingthatlifeentailscanrapidlymakea
mockeryoftheideathathappinessistheproperpursuitoftheindividual.Ontheradioshow,I
suggested,instead,thatadeepermeaningwasrequired.Inotedthatthenatureofsuchmeaning
wasconstantlyre-presentedinthegreatstoriesofthepast,andthatithadmoretodowith

developingcharacterinthefaceofsufferingthanwithhappiness.Thisispartofthelonghistory
ofthepresentwork.
From1985until1999IworkedforaboutthreehoursadayontheonlyotherbookIhaveever
published:MapsofMeaning:TheArchitectureofBelief.Duringthattime,andintheyears
since,Ialsotaughtacourseonthematerialinthatbook,firstatHarvard,andnowatthe
UniversityofToronto.In2013,observingtheriseofYouTube,andbecauseofthepopularityof
someworkIhaddonewithTVO,aCanadianpublicTVstation,Idecidedtofilmmyuniversity
andpubliclecturesandplacethemonline.Theyattractedanincreasinglylargeaudience—more
thanamillionviewsbyApril2016.Thenumberofviewshasrisenverydramaticallysincethen
(uptoeighteenmillionasIwritethis),butthatisinpartbecauseIbecameembroiledina
politicalcontroversythatdrewaninordinateamountofattention.
That’sanotherstory.Maybeevenanotherbook.
IproposedinMapsofMeaningthatthegreatmythsandreligiousstoriesofthepast,
particularlythosederivedfromanearlier,oraltradition,weremoralintheirintent,ratherthan
descriptive.Thus,theydidnotconcernthemselveswithwhattheworldwas,asascientistmight
haveit,butwithhowahumanbeingshouldact.Isuggestedthatourancestorsportrayedthe
worldasastage—adrama—insteadofaplaceofobjects.IdescribedhowIhadcometobelieve
thattheconstituentelementsoftheworldasdramawereorderandchaos,andnotmaterial
things.
Orderiswherethepeoplearoundyouactaccordingtowell-understoodsocialnorms,and
remainpredictableandcooperative.It’stheworldofsocialstructure,exploredterritory,and
familiarity.ThestateofOrderistypicallyportrayed,symbolically—imaginatively—as
masculine.It’stheWiseKingandtheTyrant,foreverboundtogether,associetyis
simultaneouslystructureandoppression.


Chaos,bycontrast,iswhere—orwhen—somethingunexpectedhappens.Chaosemerges,in
trivialform,whenyoutellajokeatapartywithpeopleyouthinkyouknowandasilentand
embarrassingchillfallsoverthegathering.Chaosiswhatemergesmorecatastrophicallywhen
yousuddenlyfindyourselfwithoutemployment,orarebetrayedbyalover.Astheantithesisof

symbolicallymasculineorder,it’spresentedimaginativelyasfeminine.It’sthenewand
unpredictablesuddenlyemerginginthemidstofthecommonplacefamiliar.It’sCreationand
Destruction,thesourceofnewthingsandthedestinationofthedead(asnature,asopposedto
culture,issimultaneouslybirthanddemise).
OrderandchaosaretheyangandyinofthefamousTaoistsymbol:twoserpents,headto
tail. Orderisthewhite,masculineserpent;Chaos,itsblack,femininecounterpart.Theblack
dotinthewhite—andthewhiteintheblack—indicatethepossibilityoftransformation:just
whenthingsseemsecure,theunknowncanloom,unexpectedlyandlarge.Conversely,just
wheneverythingseemslost,newordercanemergefromcatastropheandchaos.
FortheTaoists,meaningistobefoundontheborderbetweentheever-entwinedpair.To
walkthatborderistostayonthepathoflife,thedivineWay.
Andthat’smuchbetterthanhappiness.
TheliteraryagentIreferredtolistenedtotheCBCradiobroadcastwhereIdiscussedsuch
issues.Itleftheraskingherselfdeeperquestions.Sheemailedme,askingifIhadconsidered
writingabookforageneralaudience.Ihadpreviouslyattemptedtoproduceamoreaccessible
versionofMapsofMeaning,whichisaverydensebook.ButIfoundthatthespiritwasneither
inmeduringthatattemptnorintheresultantmanuscript.IthinkthiswasbecauseIwas
imitatingmyformerself,andmypreviousbook,insteadofoccupyingtheplacebetweenorder
andchaosandproducingsomethingnew.IsuggestedthatshewatchfourofthelecturesIhad
doneforaTVOprogramcalledBigIdeasonmyYouTubechannel.Ithoughtifshedidthatwe
couldhaveamoreinformedandthoroughdiscussionaboutwhatkindoftopicsImightaddress
inamorepubliclyaccessiblebook.
Shecontactedmeafewweekslater,afterwatchingallfourlecturesanddiscussingthemwith
acolleague.Herinteresthadbeenfurtherheightened,ashadhercommitmenttotheproject.
Thatwaspromising—andunexpected.I’malwayssurprisedwhenpeoplerespondpositivelyto
whatIamsaying,givenitsseriousnessandstrangenature.I’mamazedIhavebeenallowed
(evenencouraged)toteachwhatItaughtfirstinBostonandnowinToronto.I’vealways
thoughtthatifpeoplereallynoticedwhatIwasteachingtherewouldbeHelltopay.Youcan
decideforyourselfwhattruththeremightbeinthatconcernafterreadingthisbook.:)
ShesuggestedthatIwriteaguideofsortstowhatapersonneeds“tolivewell”—whatever

thatmightmean.IthoughtimmediatelyaboutmyQuoralist.Ihadinthemeantimewritten
somefurtherthoughtsaboutoftherulesIhadposted.Peoplehadrespondedpositivelytoward
thosenewideas,aswell.Itseemedtome,therefore,thattheremightbeanicefitbetweenthe
Quoralistandmynewagent’sideas.So,Isentherthelist.Shelikedit.
Ataboutthesametime,afriendandformerstudentofmine—thenovelistandscreenwriter
GreggHurwitz—wasconsideringanewbook,whichwouldbecomethebestsellingthriller
OrphanX.Helikedtherules,too.HehadMia,thebook’sfemalelead,postaselectionofthem,
onebyone,onherfridge,atpointsinthestorywheretheyseemedapropos.Thatwasanother
pieceofevidencesupportingmysuppositionoftheirattractiveness.Isuggestedtomyagentthat
Iwriteabriefchapteroneachoftherules.Sheagreed,soIwroteabookproposalsuggestingas
fn1


much.WhenIstartedwritingtheactualchapters,however,theyweren’tatallbrief.Ihadmuch
moretosayabouteachrulethanIoriginallyenvisioned.
ThiswaspartlybecauseIhadspentaverylongtimeresearchingmyfirstbook:studying
history,mythology,neuroscience,psychoanalysis,childpsychology,poetry,andlargesections
oftheBible.IreadandperhapsevenunderstoodmuchofMilton’sParadiseLost,Goethe’s
FaustandDante’sInferno.Iintegratedallofthat,forbetterorworse,tryingtoaddressa
perplexingproblem:thereasonorreasonsforthenuclearstandoffoftheColdWar.Icouldn’t
understandhowbeliefsystemscouldbesoimportanttopeoplethattheywerewillingtoriskthe
destructionoftheworldtoprotectthem.Icametorealizethatsharedbeliefsystemsmade
peopleintelligibletooneanother—andthatthesystemsweren’tjustaboutbelief.
Peoplewholivebythesamecodearerenderedmutuallypredictabletooneanother.Theyact
inkeepingwitheachother’sexpectationsanddesires.Theycancooperate.Theycaneven
competepeacefully,becauseeveryoneknowswhattoexpectfromeveryoneelse.Ashared
beliefsystem,partlypsychological,partlyactedout,simplifieseveryone—intheirowneyes,
andintheeyesofothers.Sharedbeliefssimplifytheworld,aswell,becausepeoplewhoknow
whattoexpectfromoneanothercanacttogethertotametheworld.Thereisperhapsnothing
moreimportantthanthemaintenanceofthisorganization—thissimplification.Ifit’sthreatened,

thegreatshipofstaterocks.
Itisn’tpreciselythatpeoplewillfightforwhattheybelieve.Theywillfight,instead,to
maintainthematchbetweenwhattheybelieve,whattheyexpect,andwhattheydesire.They
willfighttomaintainthematchbetweenwhattheyexpectandhoweveryoneisacting.Itis
preciselythemaintenanceofthatmatchthatenableseveryonetolivetogetherpeacefully,
predictablyandproductively.Itreducesuncertaintyandthechaoticmixofintolerableemotions
thatuncertaintyinevitablyproduces.
Imaginesomeonebetrayedbyatrustedlover.Thesacredsocialcontractobtainingbetween
thetwohasbeenviolated.Actionsspeaklouderthanwords,andanactofbetrayaldisruptsthe
fragileandcarefullynegotiatedpeaceofanintimaterelationship.Intheaftermathofdisloyalty,
peopleareseizedbyterribleemotions:disgust,contempt(forselfandtraitor),guilt,anxiety,
rageanddread.Conflictisinevitable,sometimeswithdeadlyresults.Sharedbeliefsystems—
sharedsystemsofagreed-uponconductandexpectation—regulateandcontrolallthose
powerfulforces.It’snowonderthatpeoplewillfighttoprotectsomethingthatsavesthemfrom
beingpossessedbyemotionsofchaosandterror(andafterthatfromdegenerationintostrife
andcombat).
There’smoretoit,too.Asharedculturalsystemstabilizeshumaninteraction,butisalsoa
systemofvalue—ahierarchyofvalue,wheresomethingsaregivenpriorityandimportanceand
othersarenot.Intheabsenceofsuchasystemofvalue,peoplesimplycannotact.Infact,they
can’tevenperceive,becausebothactionandperceptionrequireagoal,andavalidgoalis,by
necessity,somethingvalued.Weexperiencemuchofourpositiveemotioninrelationtogoals.
Wearenothappy,technicallyspeaking,unlessweseeourselvesprogressing—andtheveryidea
ofprogressionimpliesvalue.Worseyetisthefactthatthemeaningoflifewithoutpositive
valueisnotsimplyneutral.Becausewearevulnerableandmortal,painandanxietyarean
integralpartofhumanexistence.Wemusthavesomethingtosetagainstthesufferingthatis
intrinsictoBeing. Wemusthavethemeaninginherentinaprofoundsystemofvalueorthe
horrorofexistencerapidlybecomesparamount.Then,nihilismbeckons,withitshopelessness
fn2

anddespair.
So:novalue,nomeaning.Betweenvaluesystems,however,thereisthepossibilityof
conflict.Wearethuseternallycaughtbetweenthemostdiamantinerockandthehardestof
places:lossofgroup-centredbeliefrenderslifechaotic,miserable,intolerable;presenceof
group-centredbeliefmakesconflictwithothergroupsinevitable.IntheWest,wehavebeen
withdrawingfromourtradition-,religion-andevennation-centredcultures,partlytodecrease
thedangerofgroupconflict.Butweareincreasinglyfallingpreytothedesperationof
meaninglessness,andthatisnoimprovementatall.
WhilewritingMapsofMeaning,Iwas(also)drivenbytherealizationthatwecannolonger
affordconflict—certainlynotonthescaleoftheworldconflagrationsofthetwentiethcentury.
Ourtechnologiesofdestructionhavebecometoopowerful.Thepotentialconsequencesofwar
areliterallyapocalyptic.Butwecannotsimplyabandonoursystemsofvalue,ourbeliefs,our
cultures,either.Iagonizedoverthisapparentlyintractableproblemformonths.Wastherea
thirdway,invisibletome?IdreamtonenightduringthisperiodthatIwassuspendedinmid-air,
clingingtoachandelier,manystoriesabovetheground,directlyunderthedomeofamassive
cathedral.Thepeopleonthefloorbelowweredistantandtiny.Therewasagreatexpanse
betweenmeandanywall—andeventhepeakofthedomeitself.
Ihavelearnedtopayattentiontodreams,notleastbecauseofmytrainingasaclinical
psychologist.Dreamsshedlightonthedimplaceswherereasonitselfhasyettovoyage.Ihave
studiedChristianityafairbit,too(morethanotherreligioustraditions,althoughIamalways
tryingtoredressthislack).Likeothers,therefore,ImustanddodrawmorefromwhatIdo
knowthanfromwhatIdonot.Iknewthatcathedralswereconstructedintheshapeofacross,
andthatthepointunderthedomewasthecentreofthecross.Iknewthatthecrosswas
simultaneously,thepointofgreatestsuffering,thepointofdeathandtransformation,andthe
symboliccentreoftheworld.ThatwasnotsomewhereIwantedtobe.Imanagedtogetdown,
outoftheheights—outofthesymbolicsky—backtosafe,familiar,anonymousground.Idon’t
knowhow.Then,stillinmydream,Ireturnedtomybedroomandmybedandtriedtoreturnto
sleepandthepeaceofunconsciousness.AsIrelaxed,however,Icouldfeelmybody
transported.Agreatwindwasdissolvingme,preparingtopropelmebacktothecathedral,to
placemeonceagainatthatcentralpoint.Therewasnoescape.Itwasatruenightmare.Iforced

myselfawake.Thecurtainsbehindmewereblowinginovermypillows.Halfasleep,Ilooked
atthefootofthebed.Isawthegreatcathedraldoors.Ishookmyselfcompletelyawakeand
theydisappeared.
MydreamplacedmeatthecentreofBeingitself,andtherewasnoescape.Ittookmemonths
tounderstandwhatthismeant.Duringthistime,Icametoamorecomplete,personalrealization
ofwhatthegreatstoriesofthepastcontinuallyinsistupon:thecentreisoccupiedbythe
individual.Thecentreismarkedbythecross,asXmarksthespot.Existenceatthatcrossis
sufferingandtransformation—andthatfact,aboveall,needstobevoluntarilyaccepted.Itis
possibletotranscendslavishadherencetothegroupanditsdoctrinesand,simultaneously,to
avoidthepitfallsofitsoppositeextreme,nihilism.Itispossible,instead,tofindsufficient
meaninginindividualconsciousnessandexperience.
Howcouldtheworldbefreedfromtheterribledilemmaofconflict,ontheonehand,and
psychologicalandsocialdissolution,ontheother?Theanswerwasthis:throughtheelevation
anddevelopmentoftheindividual,andthroughthewillingnessofeveryonetoshoulderthe


burdenofBeingandtotaketheheroicpath.Wemusteachadoptasmuchresponsibilityas
possibleforindividuallife,societyandtheworld.Wemusteachtellthetruthandrepairwhatis
indisrepairandbreakdownandrecreatewhatisoldandoutdated.Itisinthismannerthatwe
canandmustreducethesufferingthatpoisonstheworld.It’saskingalot.It’saskingfor
everything.Butthealternative—thehorrorofauthoritarianbelief,thechaosofthecollapsed
state,thetragiccatastropheoftheunbridlednaturalworld,theexistentialangstandweaknessof
thepurposelessindividual—isclearlyworse.
Ihavebeenthinkingandlecturingaboutsuchideasfordecades.Ihavebuiltupalargecorpus
ofstoriesandconceptspertainingtothem.Iamnotforamomentclaiming,however,thatIam
entirelycorrectorcompleteinmythinking.Beingisfarmorecomplicatedthanonepersoncan
know,andIdon’thavethewholestory.I’msimplyofferingthebestIcanmanage.
Inanycase,theconsequenceofallthatpreviousresearchandthinkingwasthenewessays
whicheventuallybecamethisbook.Myinitialideawastowriteashortessayonallfortyofthe
answersIhadprovidedtoQuora.ThatproposalwasacceptedbyPenguinRandomHouse

Canada.Whilewriting,however,Icuttheessaynumbertotwenty-fiveandthentosixteenand
thenfinally,tothecurrenttwelve.I’vebeeneditingthatremainder,withthehelpandcareofmy
officialeditor(andwiththeviciousandhorriblyaccuratecriticismofHurwitz,mentioned
previously)forthepastthreeyears.
Ittookalongtimetosettleonatitle:12RulesforLife:AnAntidotetoChaos.Whydidthat
oneriseupaboveallothers?Firstandforemost,becauseofitssimplicity.Itindicatesclearly
thatpeopleneedorderingprinciples,andthatchaosotherwisebeckons.Werequirerules,
standards,values—aloneandtogether.We’repackanimals,beastsofburden.Wemustbeara
load,tojustifyourmiserableexistence.Werequireroutineandtradition.That’sorder.Ordercan
becomeexcessive,andthat’snotgood,butchaoscanswampus,sowedrown—andthatisalso
notgood.Weneedtostayonthestraightandnarrowpath.Eachofthetwelverulesofthisbook
—andtheiraccompanyingessays—thereforeprovideaguidetobeingthere.“There”isthe
dividinglinebetweenorderandchaos.That’swherewearesimultaneouslystableenough,
exploringenough,transformingenough,repairingenough,andcooperatingenough.It’sthere
wefindthemeaningthatjustifieslifeanditsinevitablesuffering.Perhaps,ifwelivedproperly,
wewouldbeabletotoleratetheweightofourownself-consciousness.Perhaps,ifwelived
properly,wecouldwithstandtheknowledgeofourownfragilityandmortality,withoutthe
senseofaggrievedvictimhoodthatproduces,first,resentment,thenenvy,andthenthedesire
forvengeanceanddestruction.Perhaps,ifwelivedproperly,wewouldn’thavetoturnto
totalitariancertaintytoshieldourselvesfromtheknowledgeofourowninsufficiencyand
ignorance.PerhapswecouldcometoavoidthosepathwaystoHell—andwehaveseeninthe
terribletwentiethcenturyjusthowrealHellcanbe.
Ihopethattheserulesandtheiraccompanyingessayswillhelppeopleunderstandwhatthey
alreadyknow:thatthesouloftheindividualeternallyhungersfortheheroismofgenuineBeing,
andthatthewillingnesstotakeonthatresponsibilityisidenticaltothedecisiontolivea
meaningfullife.
Ifweeachliveproperly,wewillcollectivelyflourish.
Bestwishestoyouall,asyouproceedthroughthesepages.
Dr.JordanB.Peterson
ClinicalPsychologistandProfessorofPsychology

RULE1

STANDUPSTRAIGHTWITHYOURSHOULDERS
BACK

LOBSTERS—ANDTERRITORY
Ifyouarelikemostpeople,youdon’toftenthinkaboutlobsters2—unlessyou’reeatingone.
However,theseinterestinganddeliciouscrustaceansareverymuchworthconsidering.Their
nervoussystemsarecomparativelysimple,withlarge,easilyobservableneurons,themagic
cellsofthebrain.Becauseofthis,scientistshavebeenabletomaptheneuralcircuitryof
lobstersveryaccurately.Thishashelpedusunderstandthestructureandfunctionofthebrain
andbehaviourofmorecomplexanimals,includinghumanbeings.Lobstershavemorein
commonwithyouthanyoumightthink(particularlywhenyouarefeelingcrabby—haha).
Lobstersliveontheoceanfloor.Theyneedahomebasedownthere,arangewithinwhich
theyhuntforpreyandscavengearoundforstrayediblebitsandpiecesofwhateverrainsdown
fromthecontinualchaosofcarnageanddeathfarabove.Theywantsomewheresecure,where
thehuntingandthegatheringisgood.Theywantahome.
Thiscanpresentaproblem,sincetherearemanylobsters.Whatiftwoofthemoccupythe
sameterritory,atthebottomoftheocean,atthesametime,andbothwanttolivethere?Whatif
therearehundredsoflobsters,alltryingtomakealivingandraiseafamily,inthesame
crowdedpatchofsandandrefuse?
Othercreatureshavethisproblem,too.Whensongbirdscomenorthinthespring,for
example,theyengageinferociousterritorialdisputes.Thesongstheysing,sopeacefuland
beautifultohumanears,aresirencallsandcriesofdomination.Abrilliantlymusicalbirdisa
smallwarriorproclaiminghissovereignty.Takethewren,forexample,asmall,feisty,insecteatingsongbirdcommoninNorthAmerica.Anewlyarrivedwrenwantsashelteredplaceto
buildanest,awayfromthewindandrain.Hewantsitclosetofood,andattractivetopotential

mates.Healsowantstoconvincecompetitorsforthatspacetokeeptheirdistance.
Birds—andTerritory
MydadandIdesignedahouseforawrenfamilywhenIwastenyearsold.Itlookedlikea
Conestogawagon,andhadafrontentranceaboutthesizeofaquarter.Thismadeitagood
houseforwrens,whoaretiny,andnotsogoodforother,largerbirds,whocouldn’tgetin.My
elderlyneighbourhadabirdhouse,too,whichwebuiltforheratthesametime,fromanold
rubberboot.Ithadanopeninglargeenoughforabirdthesizeofarobin.Shewaslooking
forwardtothedayitwasoccupied.
Awrensoondiscoveredourbirdhouse,andmadehimselfathomethere.Wecouldhearhis
lengthy,trillingsong,repeatedoverandover,duringtheearlyspring.Oncehe’dbuilthisnestin


thecoveredwagon,however,ournewaviantenantstartedcarryingsmallstickstoour
neighbour’snearbyboot.Hepackeditsofullthatnootherbird,largeorsmall,couldpossibly
getin.Ourneighbourwasnotpleasedbythispre-emptivestrike,buttherewasnothingtobe
doneaboutit.“Ifwetakeitdown,”saidmydad,“cleanitup,andputitbackinthetree,the
wrenwilljustpackitfullofsticksagain.”Wrensaresmall,andthey’recute,butthey’re
merciless.
Ihadbrokenmylegskiingthepreviouswinter—firsttimedownthehill—andhadreceived
somemoneyfromaschoolinsurancepolicydesignedtorewardunfortunate,clumsychildren.I
purchasedacassetterecorder(ahigh-technoveltyatthetime)withtheproceeds.Mydad
suggestedthatIsitonthebacklawn,recordthewren’ssong,playitback,andwatchwhat
happened.So,Iwentoutintothebrightspringsunlightandtapedafewminutesofthewren
layingfuriousclaimtohisterritorywithsong.ThenIlethimhearhisownvoice.Thatlittle
bird,one-thirdthesizeofasparrow,begantodive-bombmeandmycassetterecorder,
swoopingbackandforth,inchesfromthespeaker.Wesawalotofthatsortofbehaviour,even
intheabsenceofthetaperecorder.Ifalargerbirdeverdaredtositandrestinanyofthetrees
nearourbirdhousetherewasagoodchancehewouldgetknockedoffhisperchbyakamikaze
wren.
Now,wrensandlobstersareverydifferent.Lobstersdonotfly,singorperchintrees.Wrens

havefeathers,nothardshells.Wrenscan’tbreatheunderwater,andareseldomservedwith
butter.However,theyarealsosimilarinimportantways.Bothareobsessedwithstatusand
position,forexample,likeagreatmanycreatures.TheNorwegianzoologistandcomparative
psychologistThorliefSchjelderup-Ebbeobserved(backin1921)thatevencommonbarnyard
chickensestablisha“peckingorder.”3
ThedeterminationofWho’sWhointhechickenworldhasimportantimplicationsforeach
individualbird’ssurvival,particularlyintimesofscarcity.Thebirdsthatalwayshavepriority
accesstowhateverfoodissprinkledoutintheyardinthemorningarethecelebritychickens.
Afterthemcomethesecond-stringers,thehangers-onandwannabes.Thenthethird-rate
chickenshavetheirturn,andsoon,downtothebedraggled,partially-featheredandbadlypeckedwretcheswhooccupythelowest,untouchablestratumofthechickenhierarchy.
Chickens,likesuburbanites,livecommunally.Songbirds,suchaswrens,donot,buttheystill
inhabitadominancehierarchy.It’sjustspreadoutovermoreterritory.Thewiliest,strongest,
healthiestandmostfortunatebirdsoccupyprimeterritory,anddefendit.Becauseofthis,they
aremorelikelytoattracthigh-qualitymates,andtohatchchickswhosurviveandthrive.
Protectionfromwind,rainandpredators,aswellaseasyaccesstosuperiorfood,makesfora
muchlessstressedexistence.Territorymatters,andthereislittledifferencebetweenterritorial
rightsandsocialstatus.Itisoftenamatteroflifeanddeath.
Ifacontagiousaviandiseasesweepsthroughaneighbourhoodofwell-stratifiedsongbirds,it
istheleastdominantandmoststressedbirds,occupyingthelowestrungsofthebirdworld,who
aremostlikelytosickenanddie.4Thisisequallytrueofhumanneighbourhoods,whenbirdflu
virusesandotherillnessessweepacrosstheplanet.Thepoorandstressedalwaysdiefirst,and
ingreaternumbers.Theyarealsomuchmoresusceptibletonon-infectiousdiseases,suchas
cancer,diabetesandheartdisease.Whenthearistocracycatchesacold,asitissaid,theworking
classdiesofpneumonia.
Becauseterritorymatters,andbecausethebestlocalesarealwaysinshortsupply,territory-


seekingamonganimalsproducesconflict.Conflict,inturn,producesanotherproblem:howto
winorlosewithoutthedisagreeingpartiesincurringtoogreatacost.Thislatterpointis
particularlyimportant.Imaginethattwobirdsengageinasquabbleaboutadesirablenesting

area.Theinteractioncaneasilydegenerateintooutrightphysicalcombat.Undersuch
circumstances,onebird,usuallythelargest,willeventuallywin—buteventhevictormaybe
hurtbythefight.Thatmeansathirdbird,anundamaged,cannybystander,canmovein,
opportunistically,anddefeatthenow-crippledvictor.Thatisnotatallagooddealforthefirst
twobirds.
Conflict—andTerritory
Overthemillennia,animalswhomustco-habitwithothersinthesameterritorieshavein
consequencelearnedmanytrickstoestablishdominance,whileriskingtheleastamountof
possibledamage.Adefeatedwolf,forexample,willrolloveronitsback,exposingitsthroatto
thevictor,whowillnotthendeigntotearitout.Thenow-dominantwolfmaystillrequirea
futurehuntingpartner,afterall,evenoneaspatheticashisnow-defeatedfoe.Beardeddragons,
remarkablesociallizards,wavetheirfrontlegspeaceablyatoneanothertoindicatetheirwish
forcontinuedsocialharmony.Dolphinsproducespecializedsoundpulseswhilehuntingand
duringothertimesofhighexcitementtoreducepotentialconflictamongdominantand
subordinategroupmembers.Suchbehaviorisendemicinthecommunityoflivingthings.
Lobsters,scuttlingaroundontheoceanfloor,arenoexception.5Ifyoucatchafewdozen,
andtransportthemtoanewlocation,youcanobservetheirstatus-formingritualsand
techniques.Eachlobsterwillfirstbegintoexplorethenewterritory,partlytomapitsdetails,
andpartlytofindagoodplaceforshelter.Lobsterslearnalotaboutwheretheylive,andthey
rememberwhattheylearn.Ifyoustartleonenearitsnest,itwillquicklyzipbackandhide
there.Ifyoustartleitsomedistanceaway,however,itwillimmediatelydarttowardsthenearest
suitableshelter,previouslyidentifiedandnowremembered.
Alobsterneedsasafehidingplacetorest,freefrompredatorsandtheforcesofnature.
Furthermore,aslobstersgrow,theymoult,orshedtheirshells,whichleavesthemsoftand
vulnerableforextendedperiodsoftime.Aburrowunderarockmakesagoodlobsterhome,
particularlyifitislocatedwhereshellsandotherdetrituscanbedraggedintoplacetocoverthe
entrance,oncethelobsterissnuglyensconcedinside.However,theremaybeonlyasmall
numberofhigh-qualitysheltersorhidingplacesineachnewterritory.Theyarescarceand
valuable.Otherlobsterscontinuallyseekthemout.
Thismeansthatlobstersoftenencounteroneanotherwhenoutexploring.Researchershave

demonstratedthatevenalobsterraisedinisolationknowswhattodowhensuchathing
happens.6Ithascomplexdefensiveandaggressivebehavioursbuiltrightintoitsnervous
system.Itbeginstodancearound,likeaboxer,openingandraisingitsclaws,moving
backward,forward,andsidetoside,mirroringitsopponent,wavingitsopenedclawsbackand
forth.Atthesametime,itemploysspecialjetsunderitseyestodirectstreamsofliquidatits
opponent.Theliquidspraycontainsamixofchemicalsthattelltheotherlobsteraboutitssize,
sex,health,andmood.
Sometimesonelobstercantellimmediatelyfromthedisplayofclawsizethatitismuch
smallerthanitsopponent,andwillbackdownwithoutafight.Thechemicalinformation