Difficulties in writing business refusal letters for the fourth year english majored students at thuongmai university and some suggested solutions

ABSTRACT
This research was presented with a view to finding out difficulties in writing
business refusal letters as well as suggesting solutions to improve business refusal
letter skill. Throughout the research, the researcher found out the answers for two
questions: “What problems do the fourth year English-majored students at
Thuongmai University face in writing refusal letters?” and “What should the fourth
year English-majored students do to improve their business refusal letter writing
skill?”
This study was done in both quantitative and qualitative methods. The main
method of the study was quantitative method – questionnaire which was set up to
collect viewpoints of students about business refusal letters. Furthermore, in order
to find out mistakes specifically, qualitative method was applied in collecting 40
business refusal letters which were written by the fourth year students majoring in
English. The letters were checked thoroughly to find out the mistakes that students
usually made.
The study demonstrated the difficulties in writing business refusal letters of
fourth year students majoring in English at Thuongmai University, who had written
business letters in Business Correspondence module in their last year. They met a
lot of difficulties which most came from vocabulary, format, grammars and
expressions. Based on the findings of the study, solutions to improve refusal letter
writing skill were given. They were learning more about business expressions,
planning before writing, and reviewing and revising the letter after writing.

1


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First of all, I wish to express my profound gratitude to my supervisor, Mrs.
Pham Thi Phuong who has always been willing to give me valuable support,
guidance, and encouragement while I was doing this research.
I would like to give my sincere thanks to all the teachers at Thuongmai

University, who gave useful lessons and valuable knowledge in this field of the
study.
In addition, I would also like to thank students of Thuongmai University for
their enthusiastic cooperation during the time I collected data and information for
my research, especially students in English Faculty for their participant in order to
complete the questionnaire.
Last but not least, I am grateful to my friends and family who always
support, encourage and help me during the process of this research.
Hanoi, April 2019

Nguyen Thi Loan

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

LIST OF TABLES
Table 3.1: Frequency of writing business letters
Table 3.3: Mistakes of writing business refusal letters
Table 3.4: Difficulties in writing business refusal letters
Table 3.5: Suggested solutions to improve business refusal letter writing skill
Table 4.1: Syntactic changes in writing business letters
Table 4.2: Some frequent punctuation mistakes in writing business letters

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CHAPTER 1: OVERVIEW OF THE STUDY
1.1.

Rationale
Nowadays, with the continuous growth of commerce and industry, usefulness
and importance of business letter are increasing gradually. Business letter serves as
a formal method of communication between people, providing valuable information
on business related matters, and serving a legal purpose.
Business letter does not only secure, promote business, but it also maintains
cooperation without complications. With the help of business letter, entrepreneurs
can easily exchange information with employees, partners and clients. Business
letter plays an important role in establishing and maintaining relationships over a
wide area to enlarge the scope and the extent of the business. Moreover, it also
promotes goodwill and enhances the prestige and the image of the organization.
Realizing the importance of business letter, Vietnamese students in general and
Thuongmai University students in particular have been studying hard in order to
improve their English business letter writing skill, especially in the today’s context
of international economic integration.
Business letters are written for the fulfillment of several purposes, so they are
divided into different types such as: enquiry letter, order letter, complaint letter,
refusal letter, quotation letter, … Each of these types, besides the characteristics of a
business letter, also carries some specific characteristics.
Among the types mentioned above, refusal letter is a letter written to notify
the reader about the decision of the writer to decline an invitation, an offer, a claim,
a request or any other matter. As this letter contains something negative, a lot of
writers have difficulties in conveying the message without hurting the sentiments of
the addressees. Besides, they also encounter some difficulties which are common
difficulties in writing English business letters.
The reasons may come from cultural differences, knowledge and writing
skill of each individual. Moreover, it seems quite complicated for students to write
perfect business letters in general and business refusal letters in particular when
they do not have a chance to access and practice in office environment.

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Therefore, the researcher decided

to choose “Difficulties in writing

business refusal letters for the fourth year English-majored students at
Thuongmai University and some suggested solutions” as the topic for her
research with the hope that the learners will be able to write business refusal letters
in more professional and effective way.
1.2.

Previous studies
The author has found a lot of notable works about business letters in general
that expressed the writers’ concern about difficulties in writing business letters and
solutions to deal with the difficulties, but the author has not found previous studies
which research on business refusal letters. "Refusal letter" is a type of business
letter. Hence, one when writing refusal letters also encounters difficulties which are
similar to the difficulties in writing business letters in general.
The studies below had been conducted to analyze and find out mistakes as
well as difficulties that writers often encounter when writing business letters. The
findings of these studies share many similarities and can be divided into the
following three main groups: language usage, format and writing process. Below
are the summaries of those studies’ results.
“Business letters writing in business communication: A case study of
Intermat company”, written by Aggoune Amina, offers
business letters

influencing

recent

and

an

examination

present practice

in

of

written

communication as well as illustrates the range of features that exist in business
letters at present in order to know what makes business letters effective. He found
that there were mistakes and workers faced difficulties when they communicated
and interacted with non-English speaking colleagues all over the world. The
typical mistakes are related to special spelling; abbreviations and special acronyms;
punctuation; and format of the letters.
Shafa Firda Nila (Problems in writing English business letter: errors and
factors: Third semester of Bina Bangsa Economics students majoring in Manageme)
analyzed the student’s errors in English business letter writing. Her research results
indicated that there are eight types of errors found in English business letter written
by third semester students: verb, noun, article, word choice, sentence structure,
spelling, punctuation, and capitalization; and word choice error is the highest
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frequency of error type (20.3%). She also found that there are three major factors
that cause the errors, they are: language transfer, language style, and context of
learning.
“An analysis of some techniques to improve writing English business
letters”, written by Vu Thi Huong Giang (Haiphong Private University), she
emphasized on techniques in writing English business letters. The essential
techniques given in her conclusion belonged to four categories: you-attitude;
positive emphasis; tone; and language.
The study “Writing business letters” of Nguyen Linh Chi (Hanoi University)
aims to share some tips to write successful business letters, focusing on the type of
formal letters. She classified the mistakes that majority of students met into three
main groups: mistake of format; mistake of planning; mistake of language usage as
well as suggested solutions helping to overcome those mistakes.
The thesis “Suggested solutions to improve business letters writng skill for
the fourth year English major students at Thuongmai University”, written by
Nguyen Minh Thuy (K50), seems to be closest to my study. It aims to find out
difficulties and some common mistakes in writing English business letters of the
fourth year English-majored students at Thuongmai University; then analyze the
problems in writing business letters and suggest solutions to improve English
business letter writing skill. The writer of this work found out problems related to
the format of business letters; the usage of appropriate words, technical terms,
abbreviations as well as tenses and personal pronouns in writing business letters;
and the determination of purpose for the letters. The solutions the writer suggested
to each problem are also realistic and highly feasible.
However, besides similar difficulties in general business letter writing,
students also encounter other specific difficulties in writing refusal letters, and so,
there are unique solutions needed. For this reason, this study was carried out to find
out those difficulties and suggest solutions to improve business refusal writing skill.

1.3.

Aims of the study
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The aims of this study are:

1.4.

-

Giving theoretical background of definition, importance, purpose, format and some

-

types of business letter as well as business refusal letter.
Finding out difficulties and some common mistakes in writing English business

-

refusal letters of the fourth year English-majored students at Thuongmai University.
Analyzing the problems in writing business refusal letters and suggesting solutions
to improve English business refusal letter writing skill.
The research Subjects
The subjects of this study were students at Thuongmai University. They were
50 fourth year students majoring in English. The students were around 22 years old,
14% were male and 65% were female. Most of them have a good command of
English in four skills: listening, speaking, reading, and writing. All of participants

had studied subject Business Correspondence at Thuongmai University.

1.5.

Scope of the study
There are many different material resources and studies that require a lot of
time and hard labor while the researcher’s personal experience is limited. Therefore,
this study could only focus on difficulties in writing English business refusal letters,
involving a small number of the fourth year English-majored students at Thuongmai
University.

1.6.

Research methodology
Nowadays, the “Mixed methods” is a research approach that is used widely
in studies on social science, whereby researchers combine elements of qualitative
and quantitative research approaches within the same study. In consideration of the
research’s purposes, this study was done in the light of both qualitative and
quantitative methods in which data were collected and analyzed.
The main method of the study was quantitative method – questionnaire
which was set up to collect viewpoints of students about business refusal letters.
The questionnaire written in English was delivered to 50 fourth year Englishmajored students. The questionnaire was divided into two parts: the first part was
designed to gather general personal information about the respondents such as
name, age, gender; the second part included five more specific questions with an

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aim to get information about common mistakes and difficulties in writing business
refusal letters as well as suggestions to improve refusal letter writing skill.

Furthermore, in order to find out mistakes specifically, qualitative method
was applied in collecting 40 business refusal letters which were written by the
fourth year students majoring in English. The letters were checked thoroughly to
find out the mistakes that students usually made.
A combination of the two methods above provided reliable data, based on
which the conclusions and suggestions were made in the latter parts.
1.7.

Organization of the study
The study consists of four main chapters:
Chapter one, Overview of the study, provides an overview of the study in
which the reasons for choosing the study topic were focused. It also includes
previous studies, research subjects, research methodology and the aims, scope,
organization of the study.
Chapter two, Literature review, provides the theoretical background for the
study, which is about definition, importance, purpose, format and some types of
business letter as well as business refusal letter.
Chapter three, Research findings, aims to describe information about current
situation and difficulties of writing English refusal letters of the fourth year Englishmajored students at Thuongmai University. A detailed data analysis and discussions
are also given.
Chapter four, Suggestions, gives solutions to each problem as well as
recommendations for further studies.

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW
2.1.
Business letter
2.1.1. Definitions of business letter

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Every business organization has to establish and maintain contact with its
various parties like suppliers, customers, government agencies, etc. A business
letter is as an indispensable tool of communication in business. A business letter
is a powerful way to deliver formal information, establish permanent records, or
send significant, sensitive, or confidential messages in any organization.
Although email has taken over as the most popular way to exchange written
messages, business letter is still a necessary business communication tool.
Discussing the definition of business letter, many prestige economic
websites have given different definitions basing on particular viewpoints.
The article “What is Business Letter or Commercial Letter?” on website
give some important definitions of
business letter below:
According to J. H. Hanson, “The letters which are exchanged among
businessmen connected with business affairs are called business or commercial
letters.”
According to M. Omar Ali, “Any letter designed and directed to the
exchange of information connected with trade and trade related activities is
known as a business letter.”
According to W. J. Weston, “Business letter is the process of
accomplishing a business transaction in written form.”
This article then also concluded that “Business letter refers to formal
written letter where business related issues and information is exchanged with
the suppliers, customers, clients, banks, insurance companies, government
agencies or other external parts of the organization.”
Another article “The Best Formatting for a Business Letter” by the author
Alison Doyle was published on www.thebalancecareers.com (2/2019) that stated
“A business letter is a formal document often sent from one company to another
or from a company to its clients, employees, and stakeholders, for example.”
Among many definitions, according to ,

a “business letter” is “A (usually formal) letter in which business is reported or
transacted”.
99


Definition of business letter was posted on that
“A business letter is a letter written in formal language, usually used when
writing from one organization to another, or for correspondence between such
organizations and their customers, clients and other external parties”.
However different these definitions of business letter are, the common
feature should be born in mind that “all letters written for business purpose are
business letters”. For the purpose of this study, the author used the definition that
business letter is “a letter written in formal language, usually used when writing
from one organization to another, or for correspondence between such
organizations and their customers, clients and other external parties”.
2.1.2. Importance of business letter

Nowadays, business operations are not restricted to any locality, state or
nation. Today production takes place in one area but consumption takes place
everywhere. Since the businessmen as well as customers live in far off places
they do not have sufficient time to contact each other personally. Thus, there
arises the need for writing letters. With the continuous growth of commerce and
industry, usefulness and importance of business letter are also increasing
gradually.
Business letters play an important role in establishing and maintaining
proper relationship with various parties. Nowadays, business activities are not
confined to any one area or locality. The businessmen as well as its parties are
scattered throughout the country. Business letters reduce the distance between a
business and its customers, suppliers, and other public groups. The customers
can write letters to the businessmen seeking information about products and

businessmen also supply various information to customers. This helps them to
carry on business on national and international basis.
Business letters are an inexpensive and

convenient

mode

of

communication. Though there are other modes of communication like telephone,
telex, fax, etc. but business information can be provided and obtained
economically and conveniently through letters.
Business letters promote and sustain good will. Good business
relationships are formed and maintained through effective communication.
10


Properly written letters give a positive impression of an organization or
individual. Businessmen at times send letters to enquire about complaints and
suggestions of their customers. They also send letters which serve as a microlevel substitute for advertisements to their customers and clients. All these result
in cordial relations with the customers, which enhance the goodwill of the
business.
Business letters also serve as references to future actions, and they
provide substantial evidence to transactions and disputes. Information exchanged
through letters can be preserved permanently and used as reference when need
arise. We cannot expect a trader to memorize all facts and figures in a
conversation that normally takes place among businessmen. Through letters, he
can keep a record of all facts.
Business letters help in expansion of business. Business requires

information regarding competing products, prevailing prices, promotion, market
activities, etc. It is very difficult for businessmen to run from place to place to
get information. But through business letters, a businessman can find markets
easily all over the world by sitting in his chair. He can make all enquiries about
the products as well as receive order from different countries on the globe.
From the above discussion, it can be concluded that successful operation
of business activities establishing, maintaining and developing business
relationship and finally achieving business goal all require help of business
letters. In a sense, business letter is an indispensable tool of communication in
business.
2.1.3.

Qualities of a good business letter
Writing for a business audience is quite different than writing in the

humanities, social sciences, or other academic disciplines. Business writing
strives to be crisp and succinct rather than evocative or creative; it stresses
specificity and accuracy. This distinction reflects the unique purpose and
considerations involved when writing in a business context.
Business letters will be the first impression that businessmen make on
someone. A business letter represents the businessman and speaks to the
addressee on behalf of him. Defects in a letter will definitely endanger the
11


chances of winning the attention of the receiver. Therefore, business letters
should be carefully drafted and sent to the addressees. The style of the letterhead,
the paper on which the letter is written, the neatness of writing etc. will create
positive impression in the mind of the receiver.
Clarity is the hallmark of any good communication. It is important to

clarify exactly the purpose of the letter. Whether it is to inform, invite,
emphasize, remind, announce or correct the earlier message, the purpose should
clearly be stated. Anyone who reads the letter should be able to see what the
writer means to say without having to re-read sentences or look up words. When
the receiver gets the same meaning from the message as what the sender
intended, it is a good letter.
A business letter must have simplicity and conciseness. Transmission of
maximum information by using minimum words should be the aim of business
letter writing. Difficult words should be strictly avoided. There also should not
be excessive use of technical words. People are busy, and they receive a number
of letters every day. Unless the writer says quickly what he wishes to say, he will
not be able to get the attention of the reader and focus it on the message.
Therefore, a letter should be simple and concise.
A good business letter needs accuracy. The accuracy demands that there is
no error at all in the usage of language - in grammar, idiom, spelling, and
punctuation. Besides, the information given in the letter must be accurate. The
message should not be transmitted unless the sender is absolutely sure of its
correctness.
Completeness and relevance are also essential qualities of a good business
letter. A complete letter is one that provides all necessary information to the
readers. For example, while sending a sales letter the writer should include the
description of the goods, price, quality, how and where to buy, the date of
delivery, discounts etc. If a letter gives only partial information, its purpose will
not be achieved. The given information should be relevant to the purpose of the
letter. Unnecessary details and roundabout expressions should not be mentioned
while sending any business correspondence.
A good business letter must express courtesy. Courtesy wins the heart of
the reader. It softens the sting of an unpleasant piece of information, creates
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goodwill and produces a favorable response. Goodwill is a great asset for an
organization and courtesy in correspondence is one of the most natural and
economical means of building it. In business letters, courtesy can be reflected
through the style, the manner, the choice of words or so on.
The appearance of the letter also needs special attention if the writer
wants to make a good business letter. It includes the quality of paper used, color
of the paper, size of the paper, envelope, and even folding of the letter. These
factors must be used properly depending on different types of letters or the
economic status of the organization.
2.1.4. Parts of a business letter
The textbook used in teaching Business Correspondence module for
English-majored students at Thuongmai University gives the essential parts of a
business letter as follows:
Different parts of a business letter
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
2.1.4.1.

Heading
Date
Reference
Inside Address
Subject
Salutation

7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

Body of the letter
Complimentary close
Signature
Enclosures
Copy Circulation
Post Script

Heading
The heading of a business letter usually contains the name and postal

address of the business, E-mail address, Website address, Telephone Number,
Fax Number, Trade Mark or logo of the business (if any).
2.1.4.2.
Date
The date is normally written on the right hand side corner after the
heading. The date is supposed to be written in full with day, month and year.
Some examples are 31st May 2018 or May 31st, 2018.
2.1.4.3.

Reference
It indicates letter number and the department from where the letter is

being sent and the year. It helps in future reference. This reference number is

given on the left hand corner after the heading.
2.1.4.4.

Inside address

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The inside address includes the name and full address of the individual or
the organization to whom the letter is to be sent. This is written on the left hand
side of the sheet below the reference number. Letters should be addressed to the
responsible head e.g., the Secretary, the Chairman, the Manager, etc.
2.1.4.5.

Subject
The subject is a statement in brief, that indicates the matter to which the

letter relates. It usually starts from the left margin and may also start from the
center of the sheet. The subject attracts the attention of the reader immediately
and helps him to know quickly what the letter is about.
2.1.4.6.

Salutation
Salutation is word of greeting used to begin a letter. It is courteous gesture

and shows respect to the addressee. It is written below the inside address or the
subject, and is usually followed by a comma (,).
2.1.4.7.

Body of the letter

This comes after the salutation. This is the main part of the letter and it

conveys the actual message of the sender. It is divided into a number of
paragraphs, mostly 3-4 or more depending upon the matter. The last paragraph
should sum up the whole letter and offer any assistance or take a course of action
as required or instructed.
2.1.4.8.

Complimentary close
It is merely a polite way of ending a letter. Complimentary close must be

in accordance with the salutation.
2.1.4.9.

Signature
Signature is to written in black or blue ink, immediately below the

complimentary close. As far as possible, the signature should be legible. The
name of the writer should be typed immediately below the signature. The
designation is given below the typed name. The name of the company, phone
number, email address, and any other contact information, if not provided in the
heading, too could be included below the designation of the writer.
2.1.4.10.

Enclosures

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This is required when some documents like cheque, draft, bills, receipts,

lists, invoices etc. are attached with the letter. These enclosures are listed one by
one in serial numbers.
2.1.4.11.

Copy circulation
This is required when copies of the letter are also sent to persons apart of

the addressee. Copy circulation is denoted as C.C.
2.1.4.12.

Post script
Post script is expressed as P.S. This is required when the writer wants to

add something, which is not included in the body of the letter.

15


2.1.5. Format of a business letter

Tel.

Name of the firm

E-mail:

Fax.

Postal Address

Website:

Ref.

Dated:

To
Name and address of the person to whom letter is sent
Subject:
Salutation,
Body
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Complimentary close
Signature
(name)
Designation
Enclosures
CC
PS
2.1.6. Types of business letters

Business letters are written for the fulfillment of several purposes. The
purpose may be to place an order, enquire details of the goods, or complaint about a
product or service, etc. There are many standard types of business letters, and each
of them has a specific focus.
The Business Correspondence textbook mentions the following main types
of business letters:
2.1.6.1.

Inquiry letter
A letter of inquiry is written to individuals or companies to request
information and/or verify its authenticity regarding such as the supply of particular
goods or services. Prospective buyers may want to know the details of the goods
which they want to buy, like quality, quantity, price, mode of delivery and payment,
16


etc. They may also ask for a sample. Regardless of its subject, the objective is to get
the receiver to respond with an action that satisfies the inquiry.
When composing this type of letter, one should keep it clear and succinct and
list exactly what information one needs. The writer also needs to make sure that
contact information is included so that it is easy for the reader to respond.
Quotation letter

2.1.6.2.

A quotation letter is written by a seller to supply relevant information after
receiving the letter of inquiry from a prospective buyer. This type of letters is
written keeping in view the information asked for like price list, mode of payment,
discount to be allowed etc. Businessman should reply to the inquiries carefully and
promptly.
Quotation letter must be written to the point with conciseness and complete
tone. The seller should have the intention to create goodwill through such letter
which will establish a business relationship.
2.1.6.3.

Order letter
Order letter are written by individuals or companies to place an order of

goods or services with a business house. These letters must contain specific
information such as model number, name of the product, the quantity desired and
expected price. Payment is sometimes included with the letter.
The buyer’s intentions need to be clear and concise. The objective is to
provide the seller with detailed instructions for fulfilling an order. The reader will
fill the order only according to the given instructions. Order letters also serve as a
legal record of the transaction and, consequently, should be written with care.
2.1.6.4.

Acknowledgement letter
Acknowledgement letters act as simple receipts. Businesses send
acknowledgement letters to let the reader know that they have received the items
requested in a prior communication, usually an inquiry or an order letter. An
acknowledgement letter is a professional courtesy routinely extended by successful
people in the building and maintenance of productive business relationships.
Acknowledgement letters tend to be short, just enough to complete a
business communication cycle. Confirming the day in which an item arrived or
17


expressing some appreciation for having a request satisfied may be all that is
necessary.
2.1.6.5.

Complaint letter
Complaint letter is a very specific and objective type of letter is generally

written to deal with a problem situation when the purchaser does not find the goods
upto his satisfaction. Through writing complaint letter, the sender advises the reader
of an error in a business transaction or a defect discovered in a consumer product or

service. The objective of this type of letter is to provide detailed information
regarding the error or defect and to serve as a legal document recording the writer's
claim and the corrective action or adjustment being requested.
It is important to keep in mind that the reader is a trained customer service
professional and not very likely to be the person responsible for the problem. The
words and tone used in the letter may be the deciding factor on whether the
complaint is satisfied. Rather than being angry, the writer should use a firm but
courteous tone when stating a complaint.
2.1.6.6.
Adjustment letter
An adjustment letter is normally sent to respond to a claim or complaint.
This type of letters aims to inform the receivers that their complaint has been
received. The letter should reiterate the relevant facts of the claim. If the customer is
right, the writer should include a forthright admission to that effect and extend a
sincere apology. If not, keep factual tone and explain the reasons clearly and with
every courtesy.
2.1.6.7.

Recovery letter
The letter written by the seller for collection of money for the goods supplied

to the buyer is called recovery letter. The objective of recovery letter is to collect
money without annoying the customers. The letter should include information
regarding the amount of arrears argument for payment, and last date for payment.
The language of recovery letter should be polite, so that the customer is not
offended and future transactions with him are not adversely affected.
2.1.6.8.

Refusal letter
Refusal letter is a negative response which is written to notify the reader

about the decision of the writer to decline an invitation, an offer, a claim, a request
18


or any other matter. The writer has to find a way of writing through which, they can
convey the message without hurting the sentiments of the addressee. Hence, it is
important for the writer to choose appropriate words while drafting a refusal letter.
A refusal letter should be kept fairly short, and only include information that relates
to the reasons for not accepting the offer.
2.2.
Refusal letter
2.2.1. Definition of refusal letter
Refusal letter is a negative response which is written to notify the reader
about the decision of the writer to decline an invitation, an offer, a claim, a request
or any other matter.
In business, there are many other situations where you have to write the letter
of refusal. A company offers a position to an individual but he has already accepted
another offer, then he writes a refusal letter to that company to decline its job offer.
A businessman can write a refusal letter to deny a request made by his employees. A
claims officer is not satisfied with the demand of the client, he can write a claim
refusal letter.
Refusal letters have all the ingredients of negative and pessimist sentiments
and yet they have to be written and sent to the recipient. Although, they seem to be
“bad news letters”, refusal letters need to be sent to someone who is expecting a
reply. Not replying can cause unnecessary concern to the anticipating recipient.
Therefore, it is a liability to inform so that things are clear and everyone can move
on with their objectives.
2.2.2. Difficulties in writing refusal letters
Writing refusal letters can cope with the similar difficulties that writers

usually encounter while writing business letters in general.
Writers may encounter difficulties with grammatical issues like wrong
spelling, wrong form of verbs, incorrect punctuations, incomplete sentences and so
on. Writers easily made mistakes of this type, but these mistakes are also easy to fix.
The writers made these mistakes when they do not pay attention to them. Then the
writers can correct these mistakes and overcome this type of difficulties with their
carefulness.

19


The usage of language is determined as a type of difficulties that the writers
can cope with when writing a business letter. This type is related to how to use
appropriate words to convey their message as well as their attitude. In other words,
the usage of language is related to difficulties with word choice. It also involves the
usage of technical terms and abbreviations. In writing refusal letter, the writers
usually find themselves having difficulties in choosing words in which they can
convey their messages in a courteous and tactful tone and without hurting the
sentiments of the receivers. For each purpose of refusal, it requires specific
expressions. Then, who knows these expressions have opportunities to write his
refusal successfully.
Problems related to format of the letter are also considered as great
difficulties in writing business letters in general and refusal letters in particular. The
writers sometimes find that they do not have enough essential parts in their letters.
Containing format mistakes makes the letter look informal. Not grasping the format
of the letter also leads to not knowing how to establish a logical order in which
information is presented.

20

CHAPTER 3: RESEARCH FINDINGS
3.1.

The research context
The study was conducted at English department of Thuongmai University

for the fourth year students. This study was carried out in the second semester of
the fourth year when the English-majored students has studied subject Business
Correspondence at Thuongmai University.
Before taking part in Business Correspondence module, students had
opportunities to approach the fields related to business correspondence as well as
writing business letters. Especially, students wrote business letters in Basic
English, Business English modules. They also had chances to familiarize
themselves with environments using business letters through subjects related to
areas such as international economics, foreign trade, logistics, banking and
finance. The students understood the fields, scope and purpose when writing
business letters in general and business refusal letters in particular.
3.2.

Procedure of data collection
In the first phase, 40 business refusal letters written by the fourth year

English-majored students were collected. All of the letters were analyzed and
checked carefully to find out mistakes that were usually made by the students.
The information from the documents was an important basis for building the
questionnaire.
In the second phase, the questionnaires were delivered to 50 fourth year
English-majored students by the middle of the second semester of the academic
year 2018-1019. The participants were encouraged to give their true answers.

The data collected from 40 particular letters and survey questionnaires
would be analyzed to find out difficulties in writing business refusal letters for
the English students. The quantitative data were analyzed in the form of tables
while qualitative data from the documents were presented by quoting relevant
responses from the respondents. Then the data were analyzed both descriptively
and interpretively.
3.3.

Results and discussions

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3.3.1.

Frequency of writing business letters of the fourth year English-majored
students at Thuongmai University.
The data about the frequency of writing business letters of the fourth year
English-majored students is summarized in the table below:
How often do you write business letters?

Percentage (%)

1 – 3 letters per day

10

> 3 letters per day

4

1 – 3 letters per week

86

Table 3.1: Frequency of writing business letters
(Source: Question 1, Questionnaire)
It can be seen from the table that all the students had been writing English
business letters. However, the frequency is low for most students – 86%
occasionally wrote business letters with the estimated number is “1 – 3 letters
per week”. Of the rest, 10% showed that they wrote business letters more often –
“1 – 3 letters per day” and 4% wrote quite regularly – “> 3 letters per day”.
3.3.2. The length of a business refusal letter that students usually write
What is the length of a business refusal letter
that you usually write?

Percentage (%)

100 – 200 words

76

200 – 300 words

24

> 300 words

0

Table 3.2: The length of a business refusal letter
(Source: Question 2, Questionnaire)
The table shows that most of the participants (76%) usually wrote from
100 to 200 words for each of their letters. The remaining participants (24%)
showed that they usually wrote longer letters with a length of 200 to 300 words.
A business refusal letter which contains less than 300 words can be
completely presented in range of a paper. The documents collected from the
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fourth year English students give proof that all each of them is written in one
page. This reflects a characteristic of writing refusal letter that they should be
kept short and only include information that relates to the reasons for the refusal.
3.3.3. Problems in writing business refusal letters of the fourth year English3.3.3.1.

majored students at Thuongmai University
Mistakes in writing business refusal letters
The data about common mistakes in writing business refusal letters is
summarized in the table below:
Mistakes

Percentage (%)

Using wrong grammar, spelling, and punctuation

62

Using unfamiliar abbreviations or overly technical
terms

40

Using impolite expression and poor tone

40

Giving an unreasonable reason for the refusal

10

Lacking information or long and rambling content

54

Lacking essential parts of the letter

12

Table 3.3: Mistakes of writing business refusal letters
(Source: Question 3, Questionnaire)
It can be seen from the table that “using wrong grammar, spelling, and
punctuation” as well as “lacking of information or long and rambling content”
were common mistakes that the students usually made with 62% and 54%
respectively.
As the proportion – 62% implied, “using wrong grammar, spelling, and
punctuation” was the mistake that appear with the highest frequency in the
collected documents. For example, a writer wrote in her order refusal letter
“Thank you for you order, No BA 7658, which we recieved last week”. The
mistakes in this sentence are the words “you” and “recieved” which should be
“your” and “received”. One more example for this type of mistakes in another

letter: “He sends you his best wishes and apologies for not being able to attend
and hope that you will send another invitation at some future date”. The writer of
this letter forgot to inflect the verb “hope” in the latter part of the sentence. She
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also forgot to put a comma (,) to separate the parts of the sentence. The sentence
should be “He sends you his best wishes and apologies for not being able to
attend, and hopes that you will send another invitation at some future date”.
Related to the mistake “long and rambling content”, let’s examine the
following passage: “I am very pleased with the invitation that I received from
your inviting me to make a speech for the inauguration ceremony on July 14th.
Unfortunately, I regret that I cannot attend the meeting on July 14th. I feel that I
do not have sufficient time to prepare myself because I received your invitation
on July 10th and it is not enough time to prepare myself completely for the
speech.” This passage is an extract from one of the collected letters, which is
written by Ngo Thi Nguyet, an English student at Thuongmai University. One
when reading this passage will find some content which is not necessary to
repeat. It would be better to say that “I am very pleased with the invitation to
speech at your inauguration ceremony. Unfortunately, I cannot attend the
meeting on July 14 th. I feel that I do not have sufficient time to prepare myself
because I received your invitation on July 10th.”
The statistics in the table also indicated that using abbreviations or overly
technical terms came with using impolite expression and poor tone in the second
position of frequency with 40% for each one.
A student wrote in his letter that “our company places a great deal of
emphasis on employee participation through our QM and JIT programs”. “QM”
and “JIT” are actually “Quality Management” and “Just-In-Time”. The reader
may not understand these abbreviations. It would rather be written “our company
places a great deal of emphasis on employee participation through our Quality

Management and Just-In-Time stock order programs”.
“Using impolite expression and poor tone” is a mistake which is related to
the characteristics of refusal letters. This is the body part of a refusal letter which
is written to decline to suggestion: “Thank you for suggestion that we use Doll's
products exclusively. Although we agree that using one office supplier cuts down
the number of invoices handled by the accounting department and some other
financial issues, management feels at this time that we must continue with three
suppliers to satisfy our needs. If Doll’s or either of the other two suppliers begins
24


to stock all of the items we use, we certainly will reconsider this policy.” The
reader may find this content negative and a bit impolite. It can be edited into
“Thank you for suggestion that we use Doll's products exclusively. We agree that
using one office supplier cuts down the number of invoices handled by the
accounting department and some other financial issues. At the present time,
however, our needs are diverse, while none of the three current suppliers can
provide all of the items we use. Nevertheless, we will keep your idea in mind for
the time when the situation is better to apply this policy.”
Less common mistakes were “lacking essential parts of the letter” and
“giving an unreasonable reason for the refusal” with the percentage of 12% and
10% respectively. These numbers expressed that most of the participants have
had a quite good understanding of the format of a refusal letter as well as its
purpose and meaning.
However, by analyzing the collected documents, the author found that six
out of the forty letters were missing essential parts: three letters were missing
Date, two letters did not contain enough information in the Inside Address, and
one letter lacked Reference. Among the forty letters were some letters
demonstrating the mistake “giving an unreasonable reason for the refusal”. For
example, while writing a letter to refuse an invitation, a student wrote in her

letter that “Dear Mrs. Smith, Thanks for your letter inviting me to join the
committee of the Arts and Sciences for Eisenhower. I must decline, for secret
reasons.” .This letter did not address the reason for the refusal. The student
might do not know how to say no gracefully. The wording of the letter could
make the reader feel that she was not respected and the event (the committee) did
not win the attention of the invited person. The content would be better to write
that “Dear Mrs. Smith, Thanks for your letter inviting me to join the committee
of the Arts and Sciences for Eisenhower. Although I would have liked to have
attended, I have another business engagement at that time. Please accept my
apologies for not being able to attend. I am sure it will be a great event. Hope we
3.3.3.2.

can meet on other occasions when I do not have any commitments.”
Difficulties in writing business refusal letters

25