Black eyed susan

BlackEyedSusan
ByJosephDevon
Idon'tknowthatIbelieveinloveatfirstsight,atleastnothowTheBeatles
describeitandall.ThatbeingsaidIthinkIfellinlovewithyourmotherthefirst
timeIsawher,Ijustdidn'tknowit.Lookingback,thatfirstinstant,it'sallpretty
clearnow.Maybethat'swhattheymean.I'mjustsayingit'snotlikeIwenthome
thatnightandcouldn'tstopthinkingaboutheroranything,shewasjustanother
girl.But,lookingatitallinreverse,yeah,itwaslove.
Itwassummerandwewerefourteen,fifteen,sixteen,andwewereattheJersey
Shore.Tooyoungtodriveanywhereinterestingbuttoooldtohavefunhanging
outinahousefullofparents.Ifyouwereluckyyoumightgetaridetoaparty
somewherewithanolderbrotherofafriend,butthatwasonlyrarelyandusually
youhadtopayaprice,likebysiphoningsomegasoutofaparent'scaror
something.Andthat'sanastybusiness.Youhavetogetalengthofgardenhose
andeverythingreeksofgasonceyou'redone.
No,thoseofusinourearlyteensweredrivenintothestreets,squeezedout
really.Tenblocksofsleepybeachhousesandduringsummernightstheoutdoors
becametheonlyplacewecouldhangout.PersonallyIlovedthechallengeofit.
Youcouldn'tgoanywherethatwasbuiltforpeople,theparkonthebayfor
example,becausethatwascitypropertyandhadtobemaintained,soitwasone
oftheplacesthepolicewouldsweep.Forthatmatter,anywherewithaproper
placetosit:abenchononeoftheboardwalksoroutinfrontofoneofthecafes
thatwereclosedforthenight,anywherelikethatwastoooutintheopenortoo
doublecheckedbythepolice.Cul-de-sacscouldwork,anddeadends,butthen
youweresittingonthestreetandinevitablyyougotloudenoughsothatsome
houselightswouldcomeonandyou'dhavetorun.
Theonlyrealoptionwastomovetothebeach.Evenifoneoftheoceanfront
houseshadtheirdecklightsonitwasstillbasicallypitchblack.Everystreethad
asmallwoodenwalkwayrunningupthroughthedunegrasssoyouhadmultiple
exitsites.Theconstantsoundofthesurfhelpedhidenoise.Alsothedistance

betweenyouandanyonetryingtosleepcouldbemaximizedoutthereonthe
coldsand.


You'dgetchasedoffeventuallyofcourse.Onceyoufoundagoodspotword
wouldspreadandenoughpeoplewouldshowupandbeloudenoughthatsooner
orlateryou'dseetheflashofblueandredlightcrawlingacrosstheoutsideof
oneofthenearbyhouses,or,worse,you'dsuddenlyfindyourselfonthe
receivingendofaverybrightflashlight.Atthatpointitwaseverymanfor
himself.
Findingaplacetohangoutwasonlypartofthechallengethough.Therestof
thechallengewasgettingbeer.Notonlygettingbeer,buthidingthebeer,then
transportingthebeeroutofyourparents'houseandontothebeach.Youhadto
havebeer.Ifyoudidn'tfindbeeritwasasurethingthatsomeoneelsewould,or
atleastsomeonewouldsneakabottleofsomethingoutoftheirparents'house,
andthenwhatdidyouhave?Youhadchaosbecauseeveryonealwaysfollowed
thebeer.Itdidn'tmatterifyouweredrinking.Ifyouwereoneofthenight
peoplethen,whetheryouknewitornot,youweregoingtofollowthebeer.
Onetwelvepackburiedintheduneswouldattractenoughpeoplewhointurn
wouldattractmorepeopleuntiltheentirepartywouldbecenteredonthattwelve
pack.Twentyorsokidswouldeventuallycluster.Itwaslikemagic.
AlthoughlookingbackIguessitwasn'tmagic,itwasjustthatsomekidsliked
bikingaroundtownmorethantheylikedsittingonthebeachdrinkingbeer,and
they'dtellotherswhowouldtellothersandsooneveryonewouldbeupatthe
beach,sittingagainstthedunefence.Ofcourse,assoonasthishappenedyou'd
startrunningtheriskofseeingtheflashingblueandredlights.That'swhyyou
hadtogetbeer.OrwhyIhadtogetbeer.Ifsomeonewhodidn'tknowwhatthey
weredoingmanagedtogetbeerandpickedabadspot,liketheplaygroundby
thebay,thenyouwererunningrealrisksofgettingcaughtandnotjustchased,
ofgettingmarchedupthedrivewayofyourparents'houseatmidnightwitha

policemanbehindyou.That'swhygettingbeerwassoimportant,becauseitwas
tooimportanttobelefttoamateurs.
Nowadaysitseemssonormaltowalkintoabar,andtoprocureaboothora
stooloracomfortablespotinacorner,andtoorderabeer.Andthenthebeer
comes,andit'scoldandit'sfreshandithasacoasterunderneathitandyoupay
foritandeverythingisperfectlylegit.Butitdoesn'ttasteasgood.WhenIstop
tothinkaboutit,nothingwillevertasteasgoodasthefirstcanofbeerdugout
ofthesand.Itwasusuallylukewarmandyouhadtobrushthesandofftherim,
anditwouldgurgleupinfoamthesecondyoucrackedthetopandevenwhen


youwipeditoffwiththesleeveofyoursweatshirtallyou'dwindupwithisa
wetsleeveandsandinyourbeer.ButIswearnothingevertastedsogood.
Yourfatheralwayshadabeerinhishandandtheywerealwaysdisgusting
skunkedfrothycansencrustedinsand...andheclearlythoughthewasthe
greatestthinggoingforbeingabletoproducesuchstuff.OvertimeIcameto
realizethathebarelyeverfinishedanentirebeerinonenight.Forhimholdinga
beerhadnothingtodowithgettingdrunk.Itwasasourceofpowerforhim,a
symbolofaccomplishment.IfthehiringboardatAmalgamatedPackagingInc.
hadknownyourfatherinthosedaystheywouldn'thaveneededfourinterviews
todecidehewasthemantheywantedheadingtheirnortheastdistributionchain.
Ifanyoneeverunderstoodhowtomoveaproductandthepowerrequiredtodo
soandthepowergainedbyit,itwasyourfather,sittingonthebeach,offering
peopleacanofwarmbeer.
I'mbeingalittleharsh.Inallfairnessit'snotlikehiswholeuniversecenteredon
beerthathadbeenhiddeninaswelteringgarageforamonth,butthatfirst
summerIwasn'tquitereadytoacceptthisbizarreworldofperfectlynormalkids
actinglikestreeturchinsoncethesunwentdown.
Andit'snotliketheymadeiteasy.Theyhadallknowneachother,orofeach
other,foryears,allseeingeachothersummeraftersummer.Iwascomingout

forthefirsttimethatyeartolivewithmycousin.Andforsomereasoneveryone
gotitintotheirheadthatIwasa"citygirl."JustbecauseIdidn'thavetheclothes
downrightandIworestraponsandalstothebeachmyfirstnightthere.Itwasa
littlejudgmentalontheirpart.It'snotlikeIwasfromthecityanymorethanthey
were.I'mfromthesuburbsofsouthernMichigan.Ijusthadneverspentanytime
atthebeach.Soitwasn'taverysmoothtransition.AndIsupposeIwasbeing
overlydefensive,Iwasgettingheckledfromallanglesitseemedlike.Sowhen
thisboywholookedmorelikeaDickenscharacterthananythingelseofferedme
asandcoatedbeerlikehewashandingmenectarfromtheheavens,wellIguess
Iactedabitlikeabitch.Isnortedandlaughedhimoffandlookedaroundhoping
thatmycousinwouldsidewithmeandwecouldwalkawayfromhimandI
couldretainsomesenseofdignity.Andthat'swhathappened.MycousinandI
weren'tthatclosebutshedidn'tknowyourfathertoowellsoofcourseshesided
withme,butitdidn'thelpany.Iwasknownasabitchforbasicallytherestof
thatsummer.EvenwhenIwasn'tknownasabitchIwasreferredtoasthebitch
bymycloserfriends.Nicknamesstuckbackthen.Iwasthebitchandyourfather


wasthebeerman.Andwewerebothfifteen.
Shehadallthesesnippetsofinformationaboutherselfthatsheinsistedongiving
us.InfactitwasthenightshemeteveryonethatIlearnedherfavoriteflower
wastheBlackEyedSusan.Itwasalmostthefirstthingshesaidafterbeing
introducedtothegroupandsnubbingmybeer.Wewerefifteen,whoonearth
hasafavoriteflowerattheageoffifteen?Whohasafavoritefloweratanyage?
Andwhodecidestogivethatinformationoutwhentheyfirstmeetagroupof
people?
ShewasnervousIguess,tryingtoestablishsomesortofidentityorsomething.
Butthereitwas.BlackEyedSusans.OvertheyearsI'vegatheredthata
grandmotherofherswhoshewasveryclosewithcitedBlackEyedSusansas
herfavoriteflowerandtheyalwaysheldaspecialplaceinyourmother'sheart.

Turnsoutthatnotonlyhadthatgrandmotherpassedawayearlierthatyear,but
yourmotherhadmisunderstoodsomeonenexttoherassayingsomethingabout
afavoriteflowerandthattriggeredhertoinsertthisinformationintothe
conversationand,thus,tellmeherfavoriteflowerabsolutelyoutofnowhere.
AsI'vetoldyoubefore,therewasagreatdegreeofmagicinvolvedwithyour
motherandmegettingtogether.
Butreally,notmuchhappenedthatfirstyearbetweenthetwoofusandthen
summerendedandIwasbackinschool.ThatwaswhenIreceivedmyfirst
shockingglimpseofhowsmallmyworldreallywas.ItookitforgrantedthatI
wouldseeallmyschoolfriendswhenthefallcameandwhensummerrolled
aroundagainthatI'dseeallmybeachfriends.Butthisawkwardlankygirlwas
onmymindwhentheschoolyearstartedanditsuddenlyhitmethatImightnot
beseeingheragain.Ever.Inmylife.
LikeIsaid,itwasn'texactlyloveatfirstsight.Ittooksometimeforhertobe
acceptedbythegroupandtogetoverthatwholebitchthing,andthenIsortof
talkedtoherhereandthereandIhadn'trealizeditbutshehadgottentome.And
suddenlyinthemiddleofaSeptemberafternooneverythingwentalltopsyturvy
onme.Myshoesweretootightandmyclotheswereallneatandeverythingwas
whitewallsandIwasbackinthisschoolworldandeveryonewasconcerned
abouttestsandbooksandplayingsportsandyetonlyafewweeksearlierIhad
beenthebeerman.Ihadsnuckoutaftercurfewandwatchedthesunrisejust


becauseIwantedto.Atthebeachtheentiretownwasmineatnight.Backnorth
I'dbecrazytogowanderingaroundatnightandevenifIdidtheonlythingI'd
haveforcompanywouldbecrickets.Butmorethananythingelsetherehadbeen
thisgirl.AndIhadzerocontroloverwhetherI'dseeheragain.Itkindofgotto
me.Summerwasn'teverheldlightlyinmymindagain.Thatwasthefirstof
manytimesthatyourmotherforcedmetogrowup.
ThatfallcameandIwentbacktoMichiganandtheschoolyearwentbyand

summercameandIneverreallythoughtaboutit.I'mnotevensureifIwas
officiallyasked,IjustwoundupheadingbacktoNewJerseywhenschoolwas
out.Ithinkmyparentsthoughtitwasagoodenoughdeal.Theywerealready
havingsomeproblemsandwithoutNonnathereanymoretotakecareofmeI
thinkmycousin'shouseonthecoastseemedlikeasgoodaspotasanytostick
meforthesummer.Itcertainlywasn'tbecauseofanygreatlovebetweenmeand
mycousin.Weweren'treallyverygoodfriendsatthatpoint.Ithinkshesawme
assortoffoistedoffonherandgettinginthewayofhersummers.Whichwasa
fairenoughjudgment.Butshecouldhavebeennicer.It'sprettyamazingthatshe
woundupasmyMaidofHonor.Timedoesstrangethings.Yourlovablejack-ass
ofafatherwouldmentionsomethingaboutmagicinhere.
Youknowifyoutookagroupoffiftystrangers,hadthemchatwithyourfather
forhalfanhourthenwithmeforhalfanhour,thentoldthemthatoneofuswas
anEnglishProfessorandoneofuswasheadofdistributioninthenortheastfora
largesoftdrinkmanufacturingconcern,I'mprettysureallfiftywouldpegyour
fatherastheEnglishProfessorandmeastheheadofdistribution.He'shonestly
sogoodatwhathedoesthatIcanalmostallowhimtoclaimit'smagicexcept
thatit'dbeniceifhetookcreditforsomeofthethingshe'sdonewithhislife.Of
coursehehasthisideathathedeservescreditforallsortsofthingsthathehad
nocontrolover.Likeourfirstkiss.
Shewastherethenextsummer.ButIwasnolongerthebeerman.Thepowers
thatbehaddecidedthatIneededajobsoIwasnowtheice-creammaninthe
cornerice-creamparlor.Someotherguyhadanolderbrotherintownthat
summersohehadaneasypipelinetobeer.Iwasn'tgoingtotrycompetingwith
that.Iknewitwastimetostepasideandpassthatparticularhatalong.
Butthisdidcausesomeproblems.Mainlybecausetherewasthisgirl.Beingthe


ice-creammandidn'texactlyputmeatthecenterofmanyconversations.When
we'dcongregateonthebeachI'dbeclosetothebeerman,I'dsitnexttohim,but

Iwasn'thim,soanytalkingIdidtopeoplehadtocomefromme.Fairenough.
Thisobviouslydidn'tcauseanyproblemswithfriendsandvariousothergirlsbut
withyourmother...
Shehadbeensittinginthebackofmyskullfortheentireschoolyear,andwhile
shewasbackthereshemusthavecrossedanynumberofwiresandlaiddown
anyamountofpowerfulvoodoobecausewhenIsawherinpersonagainIwas
unablelookatherandspeakatthesametime.Therewastoomuchpressure.Not
onlyhadshebeeninthebackofmyheadallyear,butwhenshefirstsawmeshe
smiled.Arealsmile.Justforme.MybrainfriedinstantlyandIcouldn'tgeta
wordoutwhenshewasaroundandwewereoutwiththegroup.SoIgotto
thinking.AllIreallyneededwasalittletimealonewithher,withouthercousin
hangingaroundoranyotherboysnearby.
Now,Ialreadymentionedthatwhereyouchosetocongregateforthenightcould
affectthingsdrastically,andthatspotwasalwaysdecidedbywherethebeer
was.Yourmotherneverseemedabletounderstandthat.Butit'sthetruth.
SoIfiguredthatifIweretocontrolwhereandwhenthebeershowedupone
nightIcouldcontroltheoutcomeofsaidnight.Therightplaceandtherighttime
andthecopswereboundtoshowupandthatwasboundtomakepeoplescatter.
Andifitwascloseenoughtoyourmother'scurfewtheshewouldn'tbotherto
comebackout,she'djustheadbacktohercousin'shouseforthenight.Your
motherneverbrokecurfew.Youshouldn'tbreakcurfeweither.Also,don'tdrink
beer.
Yourfatherclaimsthathemastermindedthewholethingandthatheknewwhen
thepolicewouldshowupandthateveryonewouldrun.Ifyoulistentohimtalk
you'dalmostbelievethathecouldcontrolsomethinglikethat.Andthenhe
supposedlyknewthatIwouldbeoutbackbehindmycousin'shouse.Theywere
onthebaysideoftheislandanditwasniceatnighttositonthedockalongthe
water.Thebaywasmuchcalmerthantheocean.Thesoundthewatermakes
lappingagainstthepilingsstillrelaxesmewheneverIhearit.
YourfatherclaimsthatheknewIwouldbeoutbackbehindthehouseallalone

andthatheranfromthepoliceinjustsuchawaysothathe'dstumbleontome.


Butthat'soutrageous.Therewasabsolutelynowayhecouldknowsomething
likethat.AlotofnightsIwouldjustcomehomeandgotobed.It'snotlikeIwas
outthereeverynight.
Yourmothersmokedbackthen.Notalot,justoneattheendoftheeverynight.
Itwascommonknowledgeifyoukeptyourearsopen.Shewouldtalkabouthow
muchsheloveditwiththeothersmokersandthenthey'ddiscussvariouswaysto
makesuretheirparentscouldn'tsmellitonthem.Onegirl,hermothermadeher
comein,wakeherupandkisshergoodnight.Supposedlythiswastomakesure
shewassafebutweallknewitwassohermothercouldsmellherbreath.Sothe
girlwouldalwayskeepabottleofmouthwashoutsideandwouldrinseher
mouthbeforeshewentinside.Althoughyoushouldkeepinmindthatyour
parentsarealwayssmarterthanyouaresoI'msureherparentssawrightthrough
that.
SoIknewyourmotherwouldbebehindthehousebecauseIknewherauntand
uncle'swindowwasinthefrontofthehouseandIknewifthebeerwasatthe
playgroundonthebaytheneverythingwouldfallintoplace.Theonlyproblem
wasthatonekiddecidedtofollowrightbehindmewhentheredandbluelights
flashedonthesand.Keptrightbehindmeaswesnuckalongthelagoonfrom
docktodockbehindeveryone'shouse.Ifiguredhewouldbreakoffatonepoint
andheadforhisownhousebutweweregettingcloserandcloserandeventually
Ihadtotakedrasticmeasures.SoIpushedhimintothebay.ThenIcreptoff
alongthedocksandpilingsandpretendedlikeIwasstillrunningwilly-nilly
withnoplanatallwhenIhappenedtostumbleontoyourmother.Iwasso
nervoustobewithherIwasshakingandofcourseatfirstIcouldn'tspeak.
Also,don'tsmoke.
Hestillpretendslikehehaditallworkedoutbuthewasstillshakingwhenhe
showeduponthedockthatnightandhewassonervousfromhavingtorunfrom

thepolicethathecouldbarelyspeak.
Yourfatherwasreallyrattled,buthecameandhesatdownnexttomeandhe
smiled.I'vealwayssaidthatifyourfather'ssmilewasn'tcutenoneofthiswould
havehappened.Butitwascute.Verycute.Ihadalwaysknownthatandsome
partofmewashappythatthisboyIalwayssortoflikedwassittingnexttome.


Andeventuallyhestoppedshakingandwechattedforalongtimeandthenwe
kissed.Idon'tthinkIneedtogointodetails.Idorememberthatatonepoint
afterourkissheturnedaroundandlaybackagainstmyshoulderanditwasvery
sweetbuttherewassandeverywhere.Iremembertryingtorunmyfingers
throughhishairandbrushitoutbutyourfatherwasperpetuallycoveredinsand.
ThatwassomethingIcoulddonothingabout.Butthatwasourfirstkiss.Itwasa
veryproperkiss.
SoyourmotherandImadeoutforawhile.Makingoutisfun,youhavemy
blessingtomakeoutallyouwant.Theoddthingwas,makingoutwithyour
motherwasn'tthebestpart,itwaswhenshegottiredofallthesandinmyhair
thatkeptfallinginherfaceandsheforcedmetolaydownonherlapandsheran
herfingersthroughmyhairoverandoverandoveragaintryingtobrushitout.
IfIhadknownshewasgoingtodothatIwouldhavespenttheentireprevious
daydumpingsandintomyhair.Thatwasprobablythebesthalfhourofmylife.
Andthatwasit,really.Fortherestofthatsummerandthesummerafteryour
fatherandIwereabeachcouple.Thefunnythingis,itwasn'tsupposedtobe
yourfather.I'venevertoldhimthisbuttherewasanotherboyIhadbeenseeing
hereandthere.HisnamewasFrankDoogan.Frankie,hewasknownas,buthe
hatedthat.FrankieandIhadkissedforthefirsttimeafewweeksbeforewhen
someonehaddecidedtoplayspinthebottle,whichisaverymaturegamethat
youshouldn'tplayuntilyou'retwenty-seven.SoFrankDooganandIhadkissed
onceortwicebeforeyourfatherfoundmeonthedockandifthingshad
progressedfromtherethanFrankieprobablywouldhavebeenmysummer

boyfriend.Ilikedyourfather,mindyou,hehadthatsmile,buthehadn'tspoken
tomeallsummerandFrankiewasnice.Yourfathergotluckyshowinguplike
that.
DidIknowaboutFrankieDoogan?OfcourseIknewaboutFrankieDoogan.
WhydoyouthinkIpushedhimintothebaythatnight?
Ofcoursekarmapaidmebackafteryourmotherbrokemyheart.
Youhavetounderstandthiswasjustasummerthing.You'dspendthreemonths


oftheyearoffinthisfairytalelandwhereyoubarelyhadanyresponsibilities,
youhadnotestsandnoworriesaboutwhatcollegeyouweregettingintoand
noneofthatmattered.Itwasjustthesummeranditwasjustsupposedtobefun.
Ofcourseweexchangednumbersattheendofthesummerandofcoursewe
wouldtalkonthephoneeverynowandthenbutthatwassupposedtobeit.It
wassupposedtofadeoutafterthat.MyreallifewasbackhomeinMichigan.
Yourfatherwasjustfromthebeach.
AndthenIdidn'tgobacktoJerseythenextsummerandanyfoolcouldseethat
yourfatherandIwereverynicetogetherbutthatitwasn'tforreal.Naturally
yourfatherisn'tjustanyfool.Thatwaswhenhestartedstalkingme.
Idon'tknowifstalkingisthewordI'dusetodescribeit.Stalkingisprettyharsh.
ImeanIcalledhereverynowandthen,andIwroteherlettersatcollege.AndI
triedtogethertoinvitemetocomevisit.ShewasgoingtoschoolinMaryland
andIwasinGeorgetown.It'snotlikeIwasaskingtoswimacrosstheoceanfor
her.It'smaybeatwentyminutedrive.No,stalkingisn'ttherightwordbyalong
shot.Ijustcalledhertoooftenandwrotehertoomanyletters.Patheticis
probablyabetterword.
AfterawhileIrealizeditwastimetobeamanandthatIhadtoputallofthis
behindme.Thatlastedaboutadayandahalf.Thenitwasrightbacktobeingin
lovewithyourmother.
Isawhimonceortwiceduringthoseyears.Hewasgoingtoschoolsocloseto

MarylandandheofferedtohelpmepackoneyearandIlethim.Youhaveto
realizethatI'mjokingsomewhatwhenIsayhewasstalkingme.Wecallitthat
nowbutI'llgiveyourfathercreditforknowinghowtogivesomeonetheirspace
whilestayingapartoftheirlife.Andhereallywroteverylovelyletters.Foran
Englishmajorthatmeansalot.Youshouldrememberthat.GetyourEnglish
gradesup;itmighthelpyousomeday.
Andyourfatherwassweet,hereallywas.ButhefeltmorelikeapuppyI
couldn'tbeartoleavethansomeoneImightactuallyconsiderdating.I'vealready
outlinedhowourswasn'tarealrelationship.Andtheyearswentbyandthere
wereotherguys.Don'tletyourfatherfoolyou,either.Atthispointinthestory
helikestoplaythelong-sufferingsaint,buttherewereothergirlsinhislifetoo.


ButthenIwasgraduatingandIitwasreallytimetoendthis.Iwasgoingback
toMichigantostartmylifeandhedidn'tknowwhathewasdoingandwe
weren'tgoingtoberightnextdoortoeachotherinMarylandandDCanymore.
Itwascrazytokeepthisup.IknewIhadtosethimstraightandtolethimknow
thatthiswasn'tanythingseriousandthatmaybeheshouldmoveonwithhislife.
Sohehadwrittenmehisusualcasualyear-endletteraskingifIneededhelp
packingupmystuffandhowhewasrightnextdoortoMarylandanditwouldbe
noproblemandonandon.SoIsaidyes,hecouldcomehelpmepackandItold
myselfthatIwasgoingtomakeacleanbreakofthingsandthengoonandstart
mylife.
Thisiswherethingsgetalittlestrange.Idon'tbuyintoyourfather'sviewof
magic,butthingsreallydogetsortofstrange.
Yourfather'scarranoutofgasdownonalittlecountyroadIhadneverheardof.
Youcouldtaketheinterstaterightuptomycampusbutyourfatherhadtotake
somebackroad.AndIhadtoldhimthatIwouldbeatthestudentcenterata
certaintimeandheshouldmeetmethere.Thiswasbeforecellphonesyouhave
toremember.Andyourfatherdidn'twanttoleavehiscaronthecountyroadand

didn'twanttomissmeeithersoI'msittingthereandtwopeople,onerightafter
theother,comeupandaskmeifIwaswaitingtheretomeetyourfatherand
whenIsaidyestheyhandedmeanotehehadwrittenaskingmetocomeoutto
wherehewasstrandedandtobringgasoline.Ofalltheasinineplans.
Hehadmyaddress.IknowIwassupposedtomoveoutthatdaybutsurelyhe
couldhavehitchedarideintotownthenbackouttohiscarandstilltracked
downmyhouseandmetupwithmethen.But,no,heflagsdowntwostrangers
onaMarylandbackroadwhowereheadingintocampusandhasthemdeliver
notestomeaskingmetoluggasouttohim.HeknewIwoulddoittoo.Your
fatherknewhowtogivememyspacebuthealsoknewhowtouseanadvantage
whenhehadone.
WhatcanIsay?Iwasrunningsomeverylargerisksthatday.ImadesureIgot
atleasttwodifferentpeopletoagreetodelivermynote.Outsideoftheoverall
lessonofhowmagiccanaffectourlivesandallofthat,youshouldtakeaway
thelessonthatit'sgoodtorunrisksbutthatyoucanalwaysfindwaysto
minimizethem.NowaywasIlettingallofthisrestinthehandsofonestranger.
Asitturnsouttheybothfoundheratprettymuchthesametime,butstill,it


didn'thurttobesafe.
SoIgotothegasstationandIbuyagastankandfillitupwithafewgallons
andgetintomycarandgodrivingoutonthismiddleofnowhereroadandI
rememberIhadtoputmyheadoutthewindowbecauseabsolutelyeverything
stankofgas.AndIfollowyourfather'sdirectionsandfinallyIpullupandhe's
sittingthereonthehoodofhiscar.Hedoesn'thearmepullupbehindhim,no,of
coursenot,insteadhe'sstaringoutatthisfieldandItookonelookathisfaceset
againthebackdropofthatfieldandIfellinlovewithyourfather.
Imean,Isaythatnow.Itprobablywasn'tthatabrupt.ButwhenIthinkbackto
thatmoment,whenIgotoutofthatcarandyourfather,obliviousasusual,
finallyheardmebehindhimandturnedandhegavemethatcutesmileand

behindhimwasentirefieldofBlackEyedSusansdancinginthelateafternoon
sun.LikeIsaid,lookingbackit'seasytopinpoint,butatthetimeIdon'tthinkI
consciouslyknewIfellinlovewithhimthen.WhatIdidknowwasthatIwas
struckwithaprofoundsenseofwonderthatIwasstillpushingthisboyaway
justbecauseofhowwehadmet.Imeanthatfieldbehindhim,itwasso
beautiful,andhissmileandwatchinghimhopoffthehoodandgetthetankof
gasoutofmycarandfilluphistankandthankingmeandapologizingandthere
inthemiddleofnowherewasanentirefieldofBlackEyedSusans.Idecidedat
thatmomentthatmaybeIowedthisboyachance.Andsincethatchanceturned
intolingeringafewdaysoncampusandafewdatesandthenafewmore
chancesandonandonuntil...well...Isupposeit'sokaytosaythatwasthe
momentIfellinlovewithhim.
Ifyoulistentohimtellithe'llgoonabouthowmagicwasinvolvedandhowit
wasthemagicthatleteverythingunravellikethat.Butreallyitwasjustchance
wherehestoppedandmefinallyrealizingthatmaybethisboywasforreal.
Shestilldoesn'tbelieveinmagic.Isupposefromherpointofviewthat'sokay,
butthat'sthefirstlessonIwantyoutotakeawaytoday.Magichappens;you
needtohavefaithinthat.Andifyou'vegotthatfirstlessonlearnedI'lltellyou
thesecondlesson.Sometimesmagiccomesalonginstrangeways.Yourmother
hasnoideawhatImeanbymagic,sheneverhas.Sometimesyoucancreate
magicbymovingatwelvepackofbeertotheplayground.Andsometimes
magicoperatesbylettingyourmotherspillsomegasdownthesideofagastank


she'sfillingsowhensheshowsupshedoesn'tnoticethelengthofgardenhosein
mytrunkorthateverythingreeksofgasoline.
Butthat'sallnothing.Notreally.Maybethatisallchanceandluck.ButIswear
whatreallywasmagicalwasthatyourmother,whoisaverysmartwoman,and
whohadbeengoingtocollegeinMarylandforfouryears,hadsomehownever
oncelearnedthattheBlackEyedSusanistheMarylandstateflower.Pickany

countyroadanddrivedownitinspringandyou'llbeabletofindawholefield
fullofthem.Imean,theygrowabsolutelyeverywhereoutthere.
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