Astudy on wedding custom in vietnamese american culture = (nghiên cứu về phong tục đám cưới trong nền văn hóa việt mỹ)

Vinh University
Foreign languages departments
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A STUDY ON WEDDING CUSTOM IN
VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CULTURE
(NGHIÊN CỨU VỀ PHONG TỤC ĐÁM CƯỚI TRONG NỀN
VĂN HÓA VIỆT- MỸ)

GRADUATION THESIS
Field: Vietnamese -American Culture
Date of submission: 05. 2012

Student
: Phạm Thị Thu- K49B2
Instructor : Trần Ngọc Tưởng, MA.

VINH – 2012


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
For the completion of my study, I have been fortunate to receive
invaluable contribution and helps from any people. First and foremost, I
would like to express my gratitude to my supervisor, Master of Arts, Tran
ngoc Tuong for his great supports, guidance, excellent suggestions and
encouragement helped me in all stages of doing this study. The success of
my study would be almost impossible without his great help and ideas.

My sincere thanks also go to all lectures in Vinh university, especially
lectures in Foreign Languages Department for their teaching, instructions
and their useful suggestions that have helped me so much to do this study.

I would also like to extend my sincere thanks to my classmates from
class 49B2-English for their reading of my draft as well as their invaluable
suggestions and comments.

In addition, I can not fully express my warmest thanks to my dear
family and my friends who were beside me all time, encouraged and help
me so much in this study.

Finally, I am all too aware that despite all the advice and assistance, I
feel that the project is far from perfect; it is, therefore, my sole responsibility
for any inadequacies and shortcomings that the study may be considered to
have.

Vinh, May, 2012.
Pham Thi Thu

i


ABSTRACT
We know that each country in the world has its own traditional custom
because of different culture. So, study about the multiple cultures is not
easy. People who like discovering traditions and customs of other countries
find it difficult to concentrate on the whole matter at a same time. However,
study different customs of countries in the world is very interesting and
useful, especially wedding custom study. “Wedding customs” is an
interesting topic. It attracts much care of young people. Each country has
own way to organize wedding. Vietnam and America also have too. The
process of wedding in Vietnam and America is different from each other.

So, this study aims to give you common knowledge about wedding customs
in these two countries. It is hoped that this study will help Vietnamese or
American in common and the youth in particular distinguish the different
feature in wedding customs between two cultures.

As a last year student of English department, the author really wants to
find path to the American culture, especially the wedding customs. In order
to learn foreign language effectively, students had better understand that
country’s people and their custom. Therefore, in this study the author would
like to describe Vietnamese and American wedding custom and make
clearness on the similarities and differences between them. In addition, this
study will provide useful information and illustrations to help Vietnamese
who are interested in the American culture or now are living there know
how a wedding is organized. And also help American people understand
Vietnamese wedding traditions. This study will also provide useful
documents to teachers in universities so that they can use as a reference and
teach their students about culture.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……………………………………….………...i
ABSTRACT…………………………………………………….………......ii
TABLE OF CONTENTS...…………...……………………………............iii

PART I

INTRODUCTION

1. Justification of the Study…………………………………………….…...1
2. Aims and Objectives of the Study………………………………………..2
3. Methods of the Study………………………………………………… .....2
4. Scope of the Study………………………………………………………..3
5. Format of the Study…………………………………………………........3

PART II

DEVELPOPMENT

CHAPTER 1

THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

1. Culture...…………………………………………………………......…...5
2. Cross – culture…………..………………………………………………..7
3. Custom……...…………………………………………………………….8
3.1. Vietnamese Custom.……….………………………………...…………9
3.1.1. Vietnamese wedding custom………………………………...……...10
3.2. American custom…………………………...…………………………12
3.2.1. American wedding custom…………...………...…………………...12

CHAPTER 2 SIMILARITIES BETWEEN VIETNAMESE AND
AMERICAN WEDDING CUSTOM
1. The two main steps of organizing wedding ceremony………………….14
2. Wedding Gifts…………………………………………………………..15
3. Superstitions on the wedding…………………………………………....16
4. Symbols of food on wedding day………………………………….........18
iii

5. Other similarities....……………………………………………………...20

CHAPTER 3 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN VIETNAMESE AND
AMERICAN WEDDING CUSTOM
1. Before wedding ceremony.……………………………………………...22
1.1. In Vietnam.……………………………………………………………22
1.2. In America.……………………………………………………………26
2. On the wedding day……………………………………………………..29
2.1. In Vietnam………………………………………………………….....30
2.2. In America…………………………………………………………….33
3. After the wedding ceremony...………………………………………….37
3.1. In Vietnam.……………………………………………………………37
3.2. In America ……………………………………………………………38

PART III

CONCLUSION

1. Recapitulation and Implication………………………………………….39
2. Suggestions for further study……………………………………………40

REFERENCES……………………………………………………………41
APPENDIX………………………………………………………………..43

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PART I

INTRODUCTION

1. Justification of the Study
We know that culture plays an important role in the society. Culture is
the spiritual foundation of society, and is the target of the development. It
helps us to improve international understanding, socio-cultural awareness,
professional communicative activities and so much. So, it is very significant
and essential to the development of the world’s culture and society.
Every country in the world has a rich and diversified culture in all
aspects with many right, good and long-standing customs. One of these
customs is wedding custom. Wedding is part of every culture throughout the
world. It is natural for a person to grow up, get married, and start a family.
Wedding in every nation is organized with many formal ritual observances
and they are often different together, especially between Vietnam and
America.
Vietnamese and American both have engagement and wedding
ceremony in marriage. However, each country has own ways to celebrate
this custom. So, study on wedding custom of these two countries will help
us discovery to see the similarities as well as differences of two cultures and
we can make a comparison between them, since then we can learn and
enrich our culture.

In this study, the author would like to discovery and give the readers an
overview about wedding custom of both countries, thus helping readers to
understand and distinguish the difference between these two cultures.

2. Aims and Objectives of the Study
In the author’s opinion, one of the effective ways to be good at learning
a foreign language as a second language is exploring the culture of the

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country which speaks in that language and comparing and contrasting it with
our own country. So, the author do the research on the topic “ a study on
wedding custom in Vietnamese and American culture” in order to provide
those who are interested in Vietnamese and American wedding more
understandings about the culture of each country dealing with wedding
custom.
In addition, we can see that today there are many Vietnamese people as
well as American people who tend and want to marry foreigners, so one
more purpose of this study is to help them get knowledge and know clearly
about how a Vietnamese or an American wedding is organized, so that they
can avoid culture shocks when they leave their familiar culture to live in a
new and different culture.
Doing this study, the author will answer some questions below:
- What is custom and wedding custom?
- What are similarities between Vietnamese and American wedding
custom?
- What are differences between Vietnamese wedding custom and that
of American?

3. Methods of the Study
In this study, the author will use both qualitative and quantitative
method.
* Qualitative research
Firstly, the author will use qualitative research to analyze words,
sentences and answer the questions why and how she does this research. The
most common form of this method is focus groups, interview and
uninterrupted observations. So, she will use these forms to get opinions,

behavior and experience from people about wedding. This method is very

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helpful when she try to explore where to do the research and how people
may feel about her research.
* Quantitative research
After using qualitative method the author will use quantitative method
to quantify problem and analyze data. For this method, she will use statistics
to draw conclusion and results to answer the questions what, where, and
when people organize the wedding. Common types of this method are
surveys and questionnaires. So, she will use them to test students and draw
conclusive results about omission error. Both qualitative and quantitative
Research are very useful and important to her study.
4. Scopes of the Study
We know that analyzing and assessing customs in Vietnam and
America are very sophisticated and not easy. Due to the limitation of her
time and experience, the author only concentrates on the study of wedding
custom in these two countries which are much more popular and interesting.
The research focuses on similarities and differences between Vietnamese
wedding custom and that of American. Any research on the other aspects of
culture would be beyond the scope of this research.

5. Format of the Study
To help us have a general overview about her study, the author will
divide it into following 4 parts:
Part I: introduction
In this part, a general background of the study will be introduced with a
brief account of relevant information about justification of the study, aims

and objectives of the study, methods of the study, scopes of the study and
format of the study.
Part II: Investigation
With this part, the author will divide it into three following chapters :
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Chapter 1: Theoretical background
In this chapter, she would like to give us theoretical notions necessary
for and relevant to the scopes of the study with some elements about
wedding custom such as: definition of culture, cross-culture and custom,
Vietnamese wedding custom and American wedding custom.
Chapter 2: Similarities between Vietnamese and American wedding
custom.
To give details about wedding custom, in this chapter the author will
show some similarities to organize wedding in Vietnam and America such
as two main steps of organizing wedding ceremony, wedding gifts,
superstitions on the wedding, symbols of food on wedding day and other
similarities.
Chapter 3: differences between Vietnamese and American wedding
custom.
This chapter will study more clearly about the way these two countries
organize wedding with procedures as before wedding ceremony, on the
wedding day and after the wedding ceremony.
Part III: conclusion
To conclude this study, the author will give recapitulations,
implications as well as strengths and weaknesses of the study and
suggestions for further study. Then she will give some References relevant
to the study and appendix to consider.

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PART II

INVESTIGATION

CHAPTER 1 THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

1. Definition of culture
Culture is a term that has many different inter-related meanings.
However, the word "culture" is most commonly used in three basic senses:
- Excellence of taste in fine arts and humanities, also known as high
culture.
- An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that
depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning.
- The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that
characterizes an institution, organization, or group.
The concept of culture has different meanings with different people.
Robinson (1985) stated that the definition of “culture” comprises three
elements:
- Cultural products: literature, art, music, folklore, artifacts.
- Behaviors: customs, habits, clothes, foods, leisure.
- Ideas: belief, values, institutions.
(Cited from Tomalin, B and Stempleski, S. 1993: 7)

We can see the relationship between these three elements as follows:

Products

Ideals

Culture

Behaviors

Chart 1: The relationship between three elements of culture
(Cited from Tomalin, B and Stempleski, S. 1993: 7)

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From this diagram, culture is understood as a multi – aspect category in
which both the tangible and intangible values exist. Cultural products such
as literature, art, behaviors, clothes, or foods may be easily identified among
different cultures.
According to Encarta Dictionary (2004), culture is “the customary
beliefs, social forms and material traits of racial, religious or social group”.
Spencer-Oatey (2000) defined culture as "a fuzzy set of attitudes, beliefs,
behavioral norms, and basic assumptions and values that are shared by a
group of people, and that influence each member's behaviors and his/her
interpretations of the 'meaning' of other people's behavior” (Spencer-Oatey,
2000, p.4). Based on this definition, we can see that besides being an
influencing factor on people's behaviors, culture also affects how people
interpret others' behavior and this emphasize on culture’s function in life.
Hofstede (1994) also has another concept of culture. He defined culture as
“the collective programming of the mind which distinguishes the member of
one group or category of people from another” (p.5). He thinks culture
could be situated between the human nature, which is not programmable on
the one side and the individual’s personality on the other side. This idea of

the culture in the individual is very useful for explaining the concept of
culture on the one side as well as allowing for the diversity of individual
personalities within any one culture.
Based on above concepts, we can understand Culture as the system of
shared beliefs, values, customs, behaviors, and artifacts that the members of
society use to cope with their world and with one another, and that are
transmitted from generation to generation through learning. Culture is not
inheritable or genetic, but culture is learned. Although all members of a
group or society share their culture, expressions of culture-resultant behavior
are modified by the individuals’ personality.

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2. Cross- cultural:
Cross -cultural may refer to:
- Cross-cultural studies, a comparative tendency in various fields of cultural
analysis.
- Cross-cultural communication, a field of study that looks at how people
from differing cultural backgrounds communicate.
- Any of various forms of interactivity between members of disparate
cultural groups (see also cross-cultural communication, intercultural
relations, hybridism and cosmopolitanism).
- The discourse concerning cultural interactivity, sometimes referred to as
cross-culturalism (See also multiculturalism, cosmopolitanism, cultural
diversity).
According to the Fourth Edition of the American Heritage Dictionary
of the English Language, cross-cultural is defined as the interaction of
differing cultures, or a comparison.
In Vietnam, Nguyen Quang, PhD also mentioned this issue, from his

point of view, cross- cultural is “the interaction between social groups,
between subcultures, between ethnic Cultures and between different
cultures”. This cross- cultural is reflected in the following types:
- Intra-cultural interaction: it is understood as the interactive process
between the partners live in the same country and have the same cultural
background. It includes:
- Intra-cultural interaction within group: The partners belong to the
same social group (e.g. interactions between two farmers).
- Intra-cultural interaction across groups: The partners belong to
different social groups (e.g. interaction between an entrepreneur and
researcher).
- Intra-cultural interaction within subculture: The partners belong to the
same subculture (e.g. interaction between the two Central Vietnam).
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- Intra-cultural interaction across subcultures: The partners belong to
different subcultures (e.g. interactions between the North and South people).
In short, we can understand cross- cultural as involving or containing
ideas or elements from two or more different cultures. The meaning of
cross-cultural lies in the impact that culture has on an individual and his
community, and the effects of this impact when different cultures are
combined. When a person is met with the principles and ideals of different
cultures, a cross-cultural interaction will takes place.

3. Custom
According to Webster's New World College Dictionary (1999), custom
is a usual practice or habitual way of behaving, it is a social convention
carried on by tradition and enforced by social disapproval of any violation.
Custom is a complex concept, but in Vietnamese Dictionary, Danang

Publishing House (1997), it can be understood as “habits that people have
complied at a local in a situation forced them to accept it as a part of local
legislation”. (p.467-742). Thus, in fact, custom is really communal behavior
rules, reflecting the aspirations through generations of the whole people in a
self-governing community (village, region)... The rules used to regulate
social relations in general, marital relations and family in particular.
In short, custom is the way of life, custom is given by people who live
in society, it is applied to life and serves for people but its nature does not
violate the law. Custom has changed differently to fit the present life of each
period. It is not compulsory and fixed as rituals, rites, but not arbitrary in
daily living activities. It became a social custom that is relatively stable and
uniform. Each nation has its particular habit at first; later, due to contact
with each other, they have influence, imitation, and there are the same.

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3.1. Vietnamese custom
Vietnam, a country in South East Asia, is a very simple place with a
simple lifestyle. Vietnam is a country of diversity. People here known as the
Vietnamese are very nice and warm. The Vietnamese customs and traditions
have strongly raised the general good nature of people and the culture of the
country. Different ethnic groups have contributed to the rich culture of
Vietnam. People follow different languages, religions, rituals, traditions and
cultural practices, but all they are Vietnamese, and they respect and love
their nation. Every custom of Vietnam stresses the importance of family in
their social structure and shows that people lead a simple life.
Being deeply rooted in Confucianism, the Vietnamese culture and
custom are solidly founded on the structure of family where the filial piety is
respected and followed by members of the family over generations.

Historically, the culture of Vietnam has been influenced by different
cultures: first by the Chinese culture during the one-thousand year Chinese
Empire; then by French Colony of one hundred years. Nevertheless, the
typical values and characteristics of Vietnamese culture and custom have not
faded away but have been preserved and enriched in our societies of all
periods.
Vietnamese custom is very unique and rich. That is the cultural value
that has been crystallized through history's thousands of years. The
traditional customs contain the profound philosophies about nature and
human society; demonstrate the true, friendly and fine values of our nation.
The custom covers all aspects of society and has become customary law
tradition, deeply rooted in people are strong, powerful than the law. Our
cultural tradition has many fine traditions and customs that are necessary for
human morality, social discipline.

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3.1.1. Vietnamese wedding custom
Wedding is very important to Vietnamese; it is a significant day not
only for the couple but also for both their families. According to Ngo Bach
in "Nghi Le Dan Gian va Nhung Dieu Kieng Ky", “marriage is a noun to
refer to the getting married of the couple” and “the building husband and
wife for children by parents in two sides”. (p.55). Vietnamese wedding
ceremony is a cultural custom in the marriage in order to inform widely
about society's acceptance and the parties on the marriage. This is a form of
organizing a party, celebrating the happiness of bride, groom and both
families. This ceremony is concerned by some societies and is often only
organized after authorities granted certificates for marriage registration. In
the minds of Vietnamese, wedding is highly valued than a certificate of

marriage registration. So, it usually includes a few formal rituals.
In “Nhung dieu can biet ve nghi le hon nhan nguoi Viet”, Truong Thin
stated that “according to Vietnamese custom, the root of family is called
marriage. There is a marriage there will have spouses and children. An
essential purpose of marriage is to maintain family system. So, getting
married is the importance of whole family”. (p. 63).
Vietnamese wedding ceremony vary according to the lifestyle and
customs of each region. The wedding is simple in some places. However,
the ritual in some other places is more sophisticated. In all regions of
Vietnam, weddings are always important occasions in life. The order and
procedures of weddings have many distinct characteristics, each bearing the
regional custom.
In some provinces and cities in the North, families often hold the
wedding ceremony with three main steps: plighting ceremony, betrothal
ceremony and wedding ceremony. The procedures for weddings in the
North is the strictest in three regions, good time for wedding is chosen
carefully, the betrothal ceremony trays must be prepared adequately and the
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number must be an odd number 5, 7 or 9. The betrothal ceremony must be
held before the wedding at least a week to 10 days.
The procedure of wedding ceremony in the central of Vietnam also has
enough three steps as the North. However, the wedding here is simpler, they
respect the ritual but not money. Before preparing for wedding, people often
watch good and bad time. After selecting good time and date, both families
will inform each other by a simple visit.
People in the South usually have generous thinking. Therefore, their
wedding customs is simpler and more comfortable. The wedding ceremony
here still has three steps but unlike the North, the South can omit plighting

ceremony and hold the betrothal ceremony and wedding ceremony in one
day if they live far from together. However, there is a compulsory ritual and
need to have in southern wedding is the lighting up ceremony. It is an
important and sacred ceremony. The groom will have to carry two large
candles to the bride's family when going to receive the bride at her house.
When conducting ancestral ceremony, the bride and groom have to
manually light candles on the altar as an official statement to connect them
together for life.
Because of specific ethnic groups' habits, marriage involves various
steps and related procedures, but in general, there are two main ceremonies:
betrothal ceremony and wedding ceremony. Now, Vietnamese wedding is
not as complex and expensive as before and the engagement ceremony is not
as important. This ceremony can happen just one day before the wedding
celebration instead of one month or even one year as before; moreover, in
some poor family, it is included in the wedding ceremony. The Wedding day
is usually chosen well in advance by the groom and the bride's parents. In
the old time, it was not necessarily Saturday or Sunday as they believe it is
good based on the groom and the bride's age. Traditionally, Vietnamese
wedding takes place in the autumn and winter.
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3.2. American custom
Being the home to a variety of immigrants from different races all over
the world, America is well-known for its diverse culture and custom.
Immigrants from each country have brought along with them the peculiarity
of their own culture, diversifying American natives’. American is regarded
as “a salad bowl” where the various groups have remained somewhat
distinct and different from one another, making up a richly diverse
American culture. In An Introduction to American Studies by Cao, Hoang,

M. Nguyen, Phung, T. Nguyen. (2005), American values are considered
“what among all of its cultural diversity gives America its national
character”. (p. 64).
American have many customs and traditions rooted in the cultures of
forefathers who were either Native Americans or who settled this great land
after journeying long distances from other nations in search of "The
American Dream". Very often the display of an object or symbol that is
meaningful to a family or to society can become a Custom, Tradition or
Ritual. Family Values are reflected in the Customs and Traditions practiced.
American Custom can be considered as a usage or practice common to
many or to a particular place or class or habitual with an individual, long
established practice considered as unwritten law, the whole body of usages,
practices, or conventions that regulate social life.

3.2.1. American wedding custom
America is "a melting pot" of cultures each with their own unique
marriage customs and traditions. There has been a set of customs and
traditions generally accepted as common to marriage in America unless the
marriage is a common law marriage.
An American wedding is typically a happy, joyous occasion for all
people of all backgrounds. American wedding traditions really vary from
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one religion or culture to another. Over the last ten years, wedding etiquette
has really changed and American wedding customs have become more
freedom and an American wedding has really morphed into a wedding of
personal preference. This new freedom outlook has enabled couples to
marry in a style that they are comfortable with. Couples are free to plan a
wedding and join in matrimony as they please. As long as there is a wedding

certificate, all is legal, and everything else is up to them. Unlike many other
cultures, there are no rigid guidelines or laws about marriage.

Wedding in America is just as diverse as the couple who comes
together to share their lives forever. American Traditional weddings take
place in a church with family and friends in attendance to help celebrate the
joyous occasion. Weddings in America also take place in chapels scattered
throughout the U.S. Those that don't have the ceremony in a place of
worship usually have a member of the church clergy marry them in another
location such as outdoors in the mountains. Some couples choose a wedding
ceremony on a beach, in a garden or somewhere they like. However, the
majority of people still get married in a place of worship, involving faith in
their union, even with less rigid etiquette.
Following an American wedding and reception it's a tradition for the
bride and the groom to go on a honeymoon or vacation. The honeymoon
was originally done for the bride and the groom to go away and enjoy the
happiness for the first time. A honeymoon gives a new husband and wife the
chance to dote on each other with no distractions to sort of nurture the new
union.

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CHAPTER 2

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN VIETNAMESE
AND AMERICAN WEDDING CUSTOM

1. The two main steps of organizing a wedding
We know that in every nation, a wedding is organized with many

formal ritual observances. However, Vietnamese and American both have
two main steps: the engagement and the wedding reception in marriage
arrangement. We can see below chart:
Marriage

Engagement

Wedding

Chart 2: Marriage steps in Vietnam and America

These are two important steps in marriage. An engagement or betrothal
is a promise to marriage, and also the period of time between proposal and
wedding - that may be lengthy or trivial. During this period, a couple is said
to be betrothed, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. A
wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a
similar institution. Wedding ceremonies often involve an exchange of
wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s),
symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by
an authority figure or leader.
In addition, both American and Vietnamese exchange wedding rings
during the wedding ceremony. The exchange of the wedding rings occurs
after the couple has taken their wedding vows, and often leads into the
pronouncement of the couple as husband and wife. The rings symbolize the
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unbroken circle of love that has no beginning and no end. Traditionally the
passage of the couple to status of husband and wife is marked by the
exchange of their wedding rings.

2. Wedding Gifts
In both Vietnamese and American wedding, guests often present the
newlywed with gifts to wish them luck. Both American and Vietnamese
couples expect wedding gift from people who received a wedding invitation.
Guests perform certain rituals to grant the newlyweds good luck.
Wedding Gifts
Vietnamese

Envelopes with money, cards, gold…

American

Household goods, jewelry, clothing...

Table 1: Wedding gifts in Vietnam and America

Vietnamese guests often give envelopes containing wedding cards,
money gifts and a blessing to the newlywed couple during the reception
when the groom, bride, and their parents visit each table to thank their
guests. Most couples however leave a box at the sign-in table for guests to
drop in their envelopes and cards, although this is frowned upon by older
traditional conservatives. Close friends or family members often give bride
and groom gold or gifts. Gifts can be things considered useful for the bride
and groom or personal items the couple can use on a daily basis. Some good
examples are picture frames, kitchen items, perfumes or floral soaps as they
prepare to enter the beginning of family life. Americans often send or
deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day and
they often gives household goods.

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3. Superstitions on the wedding
Both Vietnamese and American have some superstitions on the
wedding as follows:
Superstitions
on the

Vietnam

America

wedding

Good luck

Bad luck

Rice, chamber pot,

Rice, flower petals, Garters,

healthy baby boy,

tin

rainy wedding day,

wedding

break something.

bouquet by garlic and thyme,

Knives, sharp objects,

Car breaks down, pass a

Bride wears pearls,

funeral, and meet a pig…

cans,

bubbles,
day.

rainy

wedding

Drop the wedding
ring or the veil,
pregnant women.

Table 2: Superstitions on the wedding in Vietnam and America
(Source: Minh Duong- Nghi Le Hon Nhan, pp.80-81); American
Wedding Customs, from: )

American often throws rice, flower petals or confetti to ensure fertility
to scare away evil spirits jealous of their happiness. The act of attendants
throwing rice at the new couple after their wedding ceremony signifies that
they wish the couple happiness and prosperity. In recent years, rice has been
replaced with things such as birdseed and even blowing bubbles. Bubbles
are festive, so they have become quite popular over the years as well. The
wedding bouquet was made of strong herbs like garlic and thyme is believed

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to ward off the evil spirit and also minimize the body odor of people who
haven’t bathed for a long time.
The wedding car is just as important in the wedding rites. The wedding
car is the first venue for a couple to be alone and have privacy after they
leave the church or the reception. These days, it is considered ill luck when
the car won't start or breaks down. It is also believed that after the bride is
set at the church door the car should travel for a short distance before going
back. Not doing so would cause the bride or groom bad luck. Wedding cars
are usually decorated with flowers, or a sign that says just married, or hung
with tin cans. These tin cans clank along the pavement as the car moves.
The noise it makes is believed to ward off evil spirits. It is considered lucky
for an American groom to carry his bride over the entry when they enter
their new home. In older times, it is considered good luck to have the
wedding carriage drawn by gray horses. It is also a good omen if the
wedding carriage meets a gray horse on the way to reception. It is
considered bad luck if a horse refuses to move or walk to or after the
ceremony. In addition, it is considered a bad luck for a bride to meet a pig or
pass a funeral on the way to her wedding ceremony.
In Vietnam, there is also having some superstitions on wedding. Brides

shouldn’t try on their wedding dress before the wedding day or the wedding
will not push through. A bride who wears pearls on her wedding will be an
unhappy wife experiencing many heartaches and tears. The groom who sits
ahead of his bride during the wedding ceremony will be a henpecked
husband. The groom must arrive before the bride at the church to avoid bad
luck.
Knives or other sharp and pointed objects are said to be a bad choice
for wedding gifts for this will lead to a broken marriage. Dropping the
wedding ring or the veil during the ceremony also give unhappiness for the

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couple but Breaking something during the reception brings good luck to the
newlyweds.
Giving arinola (chamber pot) as wedding gift and throwing rice confetti
at the newlyweds are believed to bring good luck to newlyweds. If it rains
during the wedding, it means prosperity and happiness for the newlyweds.
A healthy baby boy is often placed on the newlywed’s bed to improve
their chances of having a son. Moreover, those who are pregnant or are in
mourning are also not encouraged to go to the wedding because it can bring
bad luck for the bride and groom.

4. Symbols of food on wedding day
At both Vietnamese and American weddings, food is imbued with
symbolic meaning. Food is closely associated with fellowship in most
cultures so it is no surprise that the wonderful wedding cake is at the heart of
the wedding reception to celebrate the formation of a new, loving
relationship between a husband and a wife. Each country has own kinds of
wedding cakes:

Vietnam
Wedding cake

America

Phu thê or su sê Fruit cake, chocolate
cake.

cake or fondant cake.

Table 3: Wedding cakes in Vietnam and America
(Source: Vietnamese Ceremony, from: )
In northern Vietnam, weddings often feature “phu thê”, “su sê” cakes
or the conjugal cakes are the favorite traditional cakes in Vietnam, but it
embodies the philosophy of yin and yang in the nation. “phu thê” cake is a
Vietnamese sweet with a jelly-like texture made of tapioca, pandan, mung
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bean paste, sugar, sesame seeds and coconut milk. The black sesame seeds
are under the skin spots, wrapped in a square mold bread crust with coconut.
It reveals the philosophy of yin and yang. The stickiness of the cake
represents the stickiness of the marriage ties. Normally, a man would offer
these to the girl he wants to marry. These cakes are still an essential part of a
wedding banquet, or the gift packages that the groom’s family sends over to
the bride’s family. The philosophy of yin and yang is also reflected in the
form of boxes made of coconut leaves. The small, low inside box, also
called yin, holds the cake and the bigger outer box, also known as yang,
covers the yin box. Its message is the symbol of caring between a husband

and wife. It is the harmony between the human and the earth, man and
women. All of them blend together to create its very own flavorful cake. In
the joyful atmosphere of a happy wedding day, happy forever is always the
message that conjugal cake gives to the bride and the groom on the most
important day of their lives.
Today, due to the influence from the West culture, weddings in
Vietnam especially in big cities was held most in hotels and restaurants. So,
the form of newlyweds’ wedding is also given more attention. People much
interested in flowers, fireworks, tall glass of champagne and wedding cake.
It not only helps make the wedding becomes more refined and luxurious but
also proved tastes of the bride and groom.
In America, wedding cakes are often Fruit cake, chocolate cake or
fondant cake. American brides and grooms typically cut the first slice out of
wedding cake together; they feed each other some bites of cake to express
their commitment to live for each other. Every guest is expected to eat a
little of the cake in order to bring good luck to the bride and groom. The
sweet wedding cake symbolizes caring and nurture between the couple. The
reason the groom and bride cut the wedding cake together is often
interpreted as they performing first work together. But it has also
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traditionally symbolized their fertility. The sharing of the first slice of cake
is usually thought to symbolize their dedication to helping and sharing the
tasks, joys, and burdens of life together from this point forward. But
regardless of the cake's symbolism in various cultures, in nearly all cultures
the sharing of food is a symbol of companionship. There are also numerous
superstitions about good luck for those who can bring home the crumbs of
the wedding cake. An old superstition claims that if an unmarried woman
places a piece of wedding cake beneath her pillow she will dream of her

future husband.

5. Other similarities
Wedding in America and Vietnam have some other similarities. Firstly,
we can see that today, a lot of Vietnamese couples have their wedding
ceremony done in churches which is very much similar to American style,
including exchanging vows and wedding rings. However, wedding still
maintains Vietnamese traditional ceremony in the bride’s home before
heading to the churches.
Secondly, in America grooms have to wear tuxedo and brides have to
wear special long dress. Similarly, grooms and brides Vietnamese also have
to because it makes the wedding be more formal. For modern Vietnamese
weddings, the brides often choose white dress instead of traditional dress “ao dai” because white is symbol of innocence, purity and the dress makes
them to become the most beautiful person on her wedding day. In fact, white
long dress were first designed and worn in western countries including
America but now becomes popular in Vietnam.
Thirdly, the bride's father must take her to the groom not only in
America but also in Vietnam because it is a custom in both these countries.
It also shows the good relationship.

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