Sách: CALM THE FUCK DOWN HOW TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN AND ACCEPT WHAT YOU CANT SO YOU CAN STOP FREAKING OUT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE KIỂM SOÁT CẢM XÚC KIỂM SOÁT CUỘC SỐNG

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Contents
Cover
TitlePage
Copyright
Anoteonthetitle
Introduction
Shithappens
What,meworry?
Feat.TheNoWorriesMethod
Ican’tdealwiththisshit.(OrcanI?)

I
SOYOU’REFREAKINGOUT:Acknowledgetherealproblemand
reininyourreaction
Whatseemstobetheproblem?
Everythingisatarantula
Theevolutionofafreakout
TheFourFacesofFreakingOut
Anxiety,Sadness,Anger,andAvoidance
MexicanAirportSyndrome
Surveysays:y’allareabunchoffreaks
WelcometotheFlipside
Feat.FreakoutFaces:theFlipsides
Freakoutfunds


Time,energy,andmoney
3waysinwhichoverthinkingwastestime,energy,andmoney
TheFourthFund

Goodwill
Hottake,comingrightup!
MentaldeclutteringandtheOneQuestiontoRuleThemAll
Thisisyourbrainonpuppies
Quickreminder

II
CALMTHEFUCKDOWN:Identifywhatyoucancontrol,accept
whatyoucan’t,andletthatshitgo
Pickacategory,anycategory
Feat.TheSarahKnightShitstormScale
CanIgetadowngrade?
Logicats,ho!
Thegatheringshitstorms:alist
10what-ifsImayormaynotneedtoworryabout
10what-ifsImayormaynotneedtoworryabout:rankedbyprobability
What’syourstatus?
Outlying,imminent,andtotalshitstorms
Themorethehairier(aquiz)
Chooseitorloseit
Geturcontrolfreakon
Outofyourhands
Makeacontribution
Underyourinfluence
Completecontrol
TheOneQuestiontoRuleThemAll,inaction
ShitpeopleinmyTwitterfeedareworriedabout.Cantheycontrolit?


Feat.Soul-suckingdayjobs,uglybabies,gettinglaidoff,raccoon

bites
Iftheanswerisno,thisishowyouletitgo
Realitycheck,please!
Let’sbereal
Option1:Justfuckingletitgo
Option2:Houdinithatshit
Feat.Sleightofmind
Howtostopbeinganxiousaboutsomething
Giveanxietythefinger(s)
GetdownwithO.P.P.
TonightYou,meetTomorrowYou
OtherwaystoreduceanxietythatIdidn’tinventbutthathavebeen
knowntowork
Howtostopbeingsadaboutsomething
Laughteristhebestmedicine
You’reinforatreat
5thingsIhavestoppedworryingaboutwhileeatingaking-sized
Snickersbar
Howtostopbeingangryaboutsomething
Workitout
Plotyourrevenge
5formsofrevengethatarefuntothinkabout
Howtostopavoidingsomething
Getalarmed
Proposeatrade
SecretOptionC
ProductiveHelpfulEffectiveWorrying(PHEW)
Sendingashitstormouttosea
Feat.Anniversarygiftsandseasickness

Houston,wehaveanirrationalfear
Hi,I’mSarahandIhaveamentalillness
Thecalmbeforetheshitstorm
10what-ifsImayormaynotneedtoworryabout:CanIcontrolthem?
Ireadthenewstoday,ohboy
5tipsforcalmingthefuckdownabouttheworldfallingapart
Limityourexposure
Balancingact
Boneup
Takeamemo
Dogood
Stirringtheshit
Thatwasnotachillpill
Iloveitwhenaplancomestogether
Categorizin’cousins
Feat.RenéeandJulieandtheParkingLotGrudgeMatch
“HowdoIcalmthefuckdown?”flowchart

III
DEALWITHIT:Addresswhatyoucancontrol
Dealmein
TheFullFix,SalvageJobs,andBasicSurvival
TheThreePrinciplesofDealingWithIt
Takestock
What-iffingforgoodinsteadofevil
Identifyyourrealisticidealoutcome(RIO)
What’srealistic?
What’sideal?
HowdoIfigureitout?

Triage
Feat.Canceledflights,failinggrades,bigbadstorms
Getbent!(abonusprinciple)
Whosefaultisitanyway?
Incoming!
It’sallinyourhead
Totalshitstorms:acatalogueofterror
Relativelypainlessshit
Feat.Lostreservations,badhaircuts,trampolineinjuries,andfaulty
printers
5thingsyoumightdoaccidentallythatarestillnotasbadasfailing
tobccmorethan100peopleonaworkemail
Tediousshit
Feat.Backtaxes,badsex,angryfriends,andfrozenpipes
Yousnooze,youlose(yourcar)
Reallyheavyshit
Feat.Robbery,divorce,Frenchbuttershortages,nuclearwar,
bedbugs,andDEATH
Overtoyou,Bob

IV
CHOOSEYOUROWNADVENTURE:Whenshithappens,howwill
youcalmthefuckdownanddealwithit?
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
DiscoverMore
AbouttheAuthor
Alsoavailable

PraiseforSarahKnight


DiscoverMore!Includinggiveaways,contests,andmore.
Tapheretogetstarted.


Anoteonthetitle
Thisisabookaboutanxiety—fromthewhitenoiseofwhat-ifstothewhite-hot
terror of a full-blown crisis. As such, you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m the
world’sbiggestassholefortitlingitasIhave,sinceeveryoneknowsthatthefirst
entryonalonglistofUnhelpfulThingstoSaytoaPersonExperiencingAnxiety
is“Calmthefuckdown.”
Indeed, when I’m upset and somebody tells me to calm down, I want to
murder them in swift and decisive fashion. So I see where you’d be coming
from.
But this is also a book about problems—we’ve all got ’em—and calming
downisexactlywhatyouneedtodoifyouwanttosolvethoseproblems.Itis
whatitis.Soifitkeepsyoufromwantingtomurderthemessenger,knowthatin
thesepagesI’msaying“Calmthefuckdown”thesamewayIsaid“Getyourshit
together”in the<cough> NewYorkTimesbestsellerofthesamename—notto
shameorcriticizeyou,buttooffermotivationandencouragement.
I promise that’s all I’m going for. (And that I’m not the world’s biggest
asshole;thathonorbelongstowhoeverinventedthevuvuzela.)
Wecool?Excellent.
One more thing before we dive into all of that anxiety-reducing, problemsolving goodness: I understand the difference between anxiety, the mental
illness, and anxiety, the temporary state of mind. I understand it because I
myself happen to possess a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety and Panic
Disorder.(Writewhatyouknow,folks!)
So although a profanity-riddled self-help book is no substitute for

professionalmedicalcare,ifyoupickedupCalmtheFuckDownbecauseyou’re
perennially,clinicallyanxiouslikeme,inityouwillfindplentyoftips,tricks,
andtechniquestohelpyoumanagethatshit,whichwillallowyoutomoveonto
the business of solving the problems that are feeding your anxiety in the
firstplace.
But maybe you don’t have—or don’t realize you have, or aren’t ready to
admit you have—anxiety, the mental illness. Maybe you just get temporarily


anxiouswhenthesituationdemandsit(see:thewhite-hotterrorofafull-blown
crisis). Never fear! Calm the Fuck Down will provide you with ample
calamitymanagementtoolsforstressfultimes.
Plusmaybesometips,tricks,andtechniquesfordealingwiththatthingyou
don’trealizeoraren’treadytoadmityouhave.
Justsayin’.


Introduction

I’dliketokickthingsoffwithafewquestions:
•HowmanytimesadaydoyouaskyourselfWhne
inline.Andholyhell,wasYouDoYouexactlythebookIneededtowritetoheal
myself of a bunch of unhealthy trauma and resentment I didn’t even know I’d
beencarryingaroundforthirtyyears.
ButIhavetosaythatforme,CalmtheFuckDownisgoingintheannalsas
themostself-fulfillingtitularprophecyofthemall.Iknowhowharditwasfor
me to handle unexpected mayhem just a few years ago, so I also know how
remarkableitisto havebeenableto getthisfar intrainingmyselftochill the
fuck out about it. Yes, a move to the tropics and a massive cultural paradigm
shifthelpedjump-startmyeducation,butItooktoitlikeaferalcattoapileof

trash—andthenIwroteabookaboutitsoyoucangetyourownjumpstartata
muchmorereasonableandsweet-smellingpricepoint.
Somyfinalhopeisthis:thatifyouinternalizeallofmytipsandtechniques
forchangingyourmind-set,andimplementthelessonsI’vestriventoimpart—
you’llrealizethatmostoftheshitthathappenstoyou(evenfailingtobccmore
than one hundred people on a work email) doesn’t have to be as freakoutinducingasitmighthaveseemedbeforeyoureadthisbook.Andthatyoucan
dealwithit.
Imean,that’smyrealisticidealoutcomeforyou,andI’mfeelingprettygood


aboutit.




Acknowledgments
Asapublishinginsiderformanyyears,Iknowhowrareandspecialitistowork
with the same team, book after book after book after book. It means we’re all
havingfun andenjoyingthefruits ofourcollectivelabor,andthatnobodyhas
acceptedabetterjobelsewhere.SoIreallyhopeIhaven’tjinxedthatbysaying
how grateful I am to have been supported by Jennifer Joel at ICM Partners,
MichaelSzczerbanatLittle,Brown,andJaneSturrockatQuercusBookssince
dayone.
Jenn—my hero in heels, my tireless champion, and the calmest of us all. I
don’tthinksheevenneedsthisbook,butIsureneededhertomakeithappen.
Andsoshedid.
Mike—theoriginalAlvintomySimonandtheTomtomyFoolery.Hehas
tendedtothesebookslikeamotherhenandmadethembetterwitheverypeck
andcluck.
And Jane—effortlessly co-steering the ship from across the Pond. Her

enthusiasmfortheveryfirstNoFucksGivenGuidehascarriedusclosetothe
million-copymarkintheUKalone,nottomentiongivenmearegularexcuseto
bothsayandbe“chuffed.”
Thanks also to their respective comrades-in-arms, including Loni Drucker,
Lindsay Samakow, and Nic Vivas at ICM; Ben Allen (production editor and
saint), Reagan Arthur, Ira Boudah, Martha Bucci, Sabrina Callahan, Nicky
Guerreiro,LaurenHarms,LaurenHesse,BrandonKelley,NelMalikova,Laura
Mamelok, Katharine Meyers, Barbara Perris (copyeditor and saint), Jennifer
Shaffer,andCraigYoungatLittle,Brown;andOliviaAllen,CharlotteFry,Ana
McLaughlin,KatieSadler,andHannahWinteratQuercus.Also:DavidSmith,
the designer who supplied the UK versions of all the graphics for my new
website,isbothpatientandquickonthedraw,twoqualitiesIloveinaperson;
AlanaKellyat HachetteAustraliahasmovedmountainsandtimezonestoget
mepublicityDownUnder;myfriendsatHachetteCanadahavehelpeduscrack
the bestseller list book after book; and, finally, thanks to Lisa Cahn from
Hachette Audio and Aybar Aydin, Callum Plews, Gavin Skal, and director


PatrickSmithatAudiomediaProduction.
Ofcourse,thefourthNFGGwouldneverhavebeenpossiblewithoutally’all
whoreadinstallmentsone,two,and/orthree.Abiglythank-yougoesouttomy
readersworldwide,aswellastoanyonewho’sboughtacopyforsomeoneelse
aseitherasincereorapassive-aggressivegift.(I’mlookingatyou,SirAnthony
Hopkins!) And thank you to the dysfunctional families, terrible bosses, fairweatherfriends,andschoolyardbullieswhobuiltmyaudiencefromtheground
up.Muchappreciated.
Speaking of building from the ground up, I also want to thank my parents,
Tom andSandiKnight.Theyneveronce toldme tocalmthefuck down,even
thoughtheyprobablythoughtitfrequently.
Finally,evenwhenthetopiciscalmingdown,writinga book isastruggle.
The following individuals all did their part to soothe me in my time of need:

Pépito,SirStevenJayCatsby,Steinbeck,Millay,Baloo,FerrisMewler,Mittens,
Marcello, Benjamin, Steve Nash (Steve), The Matterhorn (Matty), Joni, Edgar,
Misko, Hammie, Mushka, Dashiell, Moxie, Gladys, and [begrudgingly] Mister
Stussy.
Butitmustbesaidthatnoone,humanorfeline,didmoretohelpCalm the
Fuck Down come to fruition than my husband, Judd Harris. Not only did he
build my new website—a Herculean undertaking on behalf of a persnickety
client—he made my coffee throughout and tended to my broken hand and
bruisedpsycheattheend,andhewasthereforthenineteenyearsthatpreceded
the writing of this book, including both the best and the worst stretches that
inspiredit.Heismyfavorite.


WantmoreSarahKnight?
Getsneakpeeks,bookrecommendations,andnewsaboutyourfavoriteauthors.
Tapheretofindyournewfavoritebook.


AbouttheAuthor

SarahKnight’sfirstbook,TheLife-ChangingMagicofNotGivingaFuck,has
beenpublishedinmorethantwentylanguages,andherTEDxtalk,“TheMagic
ofNotGivingaFuck,”hasmorethanfourmillionviews.Allofthebooksinher
NoFucksGivenGuidesserieshavebeeninternationalbestsellers,includingGet
YourShitTogether,whichwasontheNewYorkTimesbestsellerlistforsixteen
weeks. Her writing has also appeared in Glamour, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie
Claire, Red, Refinery29, and elsewhere. After quitting her corporate job to
pursueafreelancelife,shemovedfromBrooklyn,NewYork,totheDominican
Republic, where she currently resides with her husband, two feral rescue cats,
andashitloadoflizards.

You can learn more and sign up for her newsletter at nofucks
givenguides.com, follow Sarah on Twitter and Instagram @MCSnugz, and
follow the books @NoFucksGivenGuides (Facebook and Instagram) and
@NoFucksGiven(Twitter).


Alsoavailable

PraiseforSarahKnight
“Genius.”—Cosmopolitan
“Self-helptoswearby.”—BostonGlobe
“Hilariousandtrulypractical.”—Booklist


* If you’re having an A-plus day, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all is right with your
minuscule slice of rotating time bomb, you probably don’t need to calm the fuck down. Congrats. Go
outside,enjoy.Thingswillturntoshitsoonenough,andI’llbewaiting.


*Where“notespeciallycalm”equals“atotalfuckinglunatic.”


*Gophercoloniesbeingaprimeexampleofanunderlyingproblem.


*Welp,lookslikeIfoundatitleformynextbook!