Tài liệu Domestic violence information and referral handbook doc

Domestic violence information and
referral handbook
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook

Domestic Violence
Information and Referral Handbook


Adapted from the handbook "From This Day Forward"
Published by the Santa Clara County Probation Department.

Table of Contents
Introduction

Chapter 1: The Truth About Domestic Violence

Children and Domestic Violence

The Power and Control Wheel

The Equality Wheel

Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence

Teen Dating Violence

Battering in Same Sex Relationships

Immigration
Chapter 2: Planning for your Safety

Safety Before and During an Assault

Safety When Preparing to Leave

Safety When Living on Your Own

Safety With a Protective Order

Safety on the Job and in Public

Your Safety and Emotional Health

Checklist
Chapter 3: Your Rights and the Criminal Justice System

The Police

The Office of Pretrial Services

The District Attorney's Office

The Probation Department
(1 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
State Parole
Chapter 4: Your Rights and the Family and Juvenile Dependency
Courts

Restraining Orders: Protection through Family Court

Child Protection
Chapter 5: Where to Turn for Help

Crisis Hotlines

Drop-In Support Groups

Shelters - Battered Women and Children

Legal Information / Restraining Orders (TRO's)

Counseling / Information for Women and Children

Law Enforcement
Chapter 6: Suggested Readings
Appendix: From the Handbook

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Introduction
No one deserves abuse
It is a crime if someone physically hurts or threatens you. No one
has the right to hurt you, even if that person is a spouse, child,
boyfriend or girlfriend, parent or partner.
You are not responsible for the violence
Batterers often blame their abusive behavior on drugs or alcohol,
stress, childhood abuse, or their partner. As a result, you may have
feelings of isolation, fear, shame, and hopelessness.
You are not alone
(2 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
There are people who are concerned about you and want to help.
This handbook can help you protect yourself and your children. It
describes the characteristics of domestic violence, explains the role
of the justice system, lists your rights and options, and provides
community resources where you can turn for help. We hope this
information is part of the beginning of a safe future for you and your
children.
Read the Truth
I am not to blame for being beaten and abused
I have a right NOT to be abused
I am not the cause
of another's violent behavior.
I have a right to be angry over past beatings.
I do not like or want it.
I do not want my children to grow up to batter
or be battered.
I have a right to leave
this battering environment.

I have a right to be in a safe, nonviolent home.
I have a right to provide a healthy environment
for myself and my children.
I do not have to accept physical, emotional,
sexual, psychological, or financial abuse.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to believe
that I have a good memory
and can remember events.
I have the right to have a partner
who is sexually faithful.
I have the right to participate in the process
of making rules that will affect my life

CHAPTER 1: The Truth About Domestic Violence
(3 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
Domestic violence is an escalating pattern of abuse where one partner in an intimate
relationship controls the other through force, intimidation, or the threat of violence.
Abuse comes in many forms:
Physical Kicking, punching, shoving, slapping, pushing, and any
other acts which hurt your body.
Sexual Calling you vulgar names, criticizing your body parts or
sensuality, forced or pressured sexual acts, including rape.
Emotional Assaults against your self-esteem
Verbal Name-calling, threats, put-downs.
Psychological Causing you to feel as if you are "going crazy".
Spiritual Attacking your spiritual or religious beliefs.
Financial Controlling and manipulating you by threatening your
economic status and basic needs.

Homophobic Threatening to "out" you to people who do not know your
sexual orientation
Immigration Using your immigration status and fear of deportation to
control you.
Destructive Acts Actual or threatened assault of your property or pets to
scare you.
● A woman is beaten every nine seconds in the United States. Domestic violence
is the most under-reported crime in the country, with the actual incidence 10
times higher than is reported.
● Eighty percent of children who live in homes where domestic violence occurs
witness the abuse.
● Lesbian and gay domestic violence occurs in approximately one-third of these
relationships, about as often as in heterosexual relationships.
● On average, four women are murdered every day by their male partner in the U.
S. According to the District Attorney's Office, there were 21 deaths as a result
of domestic violence in Santa Clara County in 1995.
● Women in the U.S. are in nine times more danger in their own homes than they
are in the street.
● According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 95 percent of reported spousal
assaults are committed by men against women. Assaults committed by women
against men occur in approximately 5 to 10 percent of domestic violence
matters.
● About 17 percent of women report experiencing physical or sexual violence
during pregnancy.
● Battering prior to pregnancy is the primary predictor that battering will occur
(4 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
during pregnancy.
Domestic violence is one of the nation's best kept secrets. Myths and
misunderstandings abound. Knowing the facts is an important step toward breaking

the cycle of violence.
Fact: Almost four million women are beaten in their homes every year by their
male partners. Although the first violent incident may not be severe, once
battering begins, it tends to increase in severity and frequency, sometimes
leading to permanent injury or death. What may begin as an occasional
slap or shove will turn into a pushy down the stairs, a punch in the face, or
a kick in the stomach.
Fact: Battering is not about anger or losing control; it is an intentional choice
focused on maintaining power and control in the relationship. Batterers
manage not to beat their bosses or terrorize their friends when they are
angry.
Fact: The batterer is responsible for the violence – not the victim. People are
beaten for breaking an egg yolk while fixing breakfast, for wearing their
hair a certain way, for dressing to nicely or not nicely enough, for cooking
the wrong meal, or any other number of excuses. These incidents do not
warrant or provoke violence. Even when you disagree, you do not deserve
to be beaten. People who are battered do not want to be beaten.
Fact: Violence does occur in same sex relationships, and the issues of power
and control are similar to those found in heterosexual relationships.
Homophobia allows us to trivialize the violence in same sex relationships
and compounds the effects of the violence for the victim.
Fact: Substance abuse is involved in about half of all domestic violence
incidents. Although drugs or alcohol may lower a person's self-control,
they do not cause violence. Batterers often use drugs or alcohol as an
excuse or permission to batter and to avoid responsibility for their abuse.
Fact: Because violence inflicted upon a woman by her partner is treated much
differently than violence inflicted by a stranger, batterers are not always
arrested. Traditionally, police were more likely to file a report if the
offender was a stranger, rather than an intimate partner.
Fact: Battering crosses all economic, educational, ethnic, sexual orientation,

age, and racial lines in equal proportions. There is no "typical" victim.
Fact: Batterers generally lead "normal" lives except for their unwillingness to
stop their violence and controlling behavior in their intimate relationships.
Batterers do not batter because they are crazy or mentally ill.
People stay with abusive partners for many different reasons. By understanding these
(5 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
reasons, you can explore your options for living a violence-free life and avoid feelings
of guilt and isolation.
● You fear you will be beaten more severely. Your batterer has threatened to find
and kill or harm you, your children, and your family.
● You depend on the batterer for shelter, food, and other necessities.
● You have no one to talk to who understands and believes you.
● You believe your children need two parents, and you don't want to raise them
alone.
● You want to keep the family together and live up to your religious commitment
to remain with your partner.
● You fear that you won't be able to take care of yourself and your children alone.
● You want to stand by your partner and be loyal to the relationship.
● Your partner has threatened to commit suicide if you leave.
● You believe that things will get better.
● You believe that no one else will love you.
● You fear your family and friends will be ashamed of you.
● You feel ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated and don't want anyone to
know what is happening.
● You think others will believe that you are "low class" or stupid for staying as
long as you already have.
● You believe that you need to be in a relationship to feel like a complete person.
● You fear that you will be deported or that your children will be taken out of the
country.

● If you are in a same sex relationship, you fear that you will be "outed" or that no
one will believe you.
● Your job is to make the relationship work, and if it does not work, you are to
blame.
● If you stay, you can "save" the batterer and help him or her get better.
It is a myth that people don't leave violent relationships. Many leave an average of five
to seven times before they are able to leave permanently. You are in greater danger
from your partner's abuse when you leave. Only you can decide what is best for you
and your children. Whether you decide to remain with your abusive partner or leave, it
is important for you to plan for your safety.
Children and Domestic Violence
● Children who live in a home where battering occurs are likely to experience a
variety of negative effects and problems.
● Children may be injured during an incident of violence, may suffer feelings of
helplessness, may blame themselves for not preventing the violence or for
causing it, and may be abused or neglected themselves.
(6 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
● Children in violent homes face a dual threat: witnessing traumatic events and
the threat of physical assault.
● Children living with domestic violence experience unnaturally high levels of
anxiety.
● Children may suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (similar to what war
veterans suffer) even after a single incident.
● Children exposed to domestic violence often experience difficulties in school.
● Children living in violent homes have more frequent incidents of truancy, theft,
insomnia, temper tantrums, and violence toward others than children raised in a
non-violent atmosphere.
● Studies indicate that boys exposed to family violence tend to be overly
aggressive and disruptive.

● Studies show that girls who are exposed to family violence tend to withdraw
and behave more passively than girls not exposed to violence.
● Children who live in abusive homes have a higher risk of juvenile delinquency
and substance abuse.
It is extremely important for children who live in violent homes to have a
simple safety plan


Warn children to stay out of the adults' conflicts.

Make a list of people the children can trust and talk to when they are
feeling unsafe (neighbors, teachers, relatives, friends).

Decide ahead of time on a safe place the children can go when they
feel unsafe.

Teach children how to use police and other emergency phone numbers.


The Power and Control Wheel
Abusive relationships are based on the mistaken belief that one person has the right to
control another. When the actions described in the spokes of this wheel and on the
next page don't work, the person in power moves on to actual physical and sexual
violence. The relationship is based on the exercise of power to gain and maintain
control. The dignity of both partners is stripped away.
(7 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook

Used by permission of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project,
206 West Fourth Street, Duluth, Minnesota 55806

Using Intimidation
● Making you afraid by using looks,
actions, or gestures.
● Smashing things.
● Destroying property.
● Abusing pets.
● Displaying weapons.
Using Emotional Abuse
● Putting you down.
● Making you feel bad about
yourself.
● Calling you names.
● Making you feel guilty.
● Making you think you are crazy.
● Playing mind games.
● Humiliating you.
Using Isolation
(8 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
● Controlling what you do, whom
you see and talk to, what you
read, and where you go.
● Limiting your outside involvement.
● Using jealousy to justify actions.
Denying, Blaming, Minimizing
● Making light of the abuse and not
taking your concerns about it
seriously.
● Saying the abuse didn't happen
● Shifting responsibility for abusive

behavior to other people or
circumstances.
● Saying you caused the abuse.
Using Children
● Making you feel guilty about the
children.
● Using the children to relay
messages.
● Using visitation to harass you.
● Threatening to take the children
away
Using Male Privilege
● Making all the big decisions.
● Acting like "Master of the Castle".
● Being the one to define men's and
women's roles.
● Treating you like a servant.
Using Economic Abuse
● Preventing you from getting or
keeping a job.
● Making you ask for money.
● Giving you an allowance.
● Taking your money.
● Not letting you know about or
have access to family income.
Using Coercion and Threats
● Making and/or carrying out threats
to do something to hurt you.
● Threatening to "out" you.
● Threatening to leave you, to

commit suicide, to report you to
Welfare authorities.
● Making you do illegal things.

(9 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
The Equality Wheel
Healthy relationships are based on the belief that two people in a relationship are
partners with equal rights to have their needs met and equal responsibility for the
success of the partnership. In this equality belief system, violence is not an option
because it violates the rights of one partner and jeopardizes the success of the
relationship. The dignity of both partners is built up in a relationship based on equality.

Used by permission of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project,
206 West Fourth Street, Duluth, Minnesota 55806
Non-Threatening Behavior
● Talking so that you feel safe and
comfortable expressing yourself
and doing things.
● Acting so that you feel safe and
comfortable expressing yourself
and doing things.
Respect
● Listening to you non-judgmentally.
● Valuing your opinions.
● Being emotionally affirming and
understanding.
(10 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
Trust and Support

● Respecting your right to have your
own feelings, friends, activities,
and opinions
● Supporting your goals in life.
Honesty and Accountability
● Accepting responsibility for self.
● Acknowledging past use of
violence.
● Admitting being wrong.
● Communicating openly and
truthfully.
Responsible Parenting
● Being a positive, non-violent role
model for the children.
● Sharing parental responsibilities.
Shared Responsibility
● Mutually agreeing on a fair
distribution of work.
● Making family decisions together.
Economic Partnership
● Making money decisions together. ● Making sure both partners benefit
from financial arrangements.
Negotiation and Fairness
● Seeking mutually satisfying
resolutions to conflict.
● Accepting change.
● Being willing to compromise.

Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence
Alcohol or drug use is present in an estimated 65 to 80 percent of all domestic violence

incidents. Families affected by domestic violence typically experience a higher rate of
alcohol and or drug use than families not affected by battering.
(11 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
While the batterer may blame substance use for the battering, it is important to know
that alcohol and drugs do not cause violence; however, the violence and abuse may
be more severe during use. Domestic violence and substance abuse are two different
problems and each requires specialized intervention.
You may also be abusing substances as a means of coping with your
partner's violence. Substance abuse is never a healthy alternative. For
help, you can call
Comrades
Turning Point Women's Center
Mariposa Lodge (residential)
South Bay Teen Challenge
Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous (Spanish)
Narcotics Anonymous
(408) 288-6209
(408) 249-6590
(408) 463-0131
(408) 358-3435
(408) 297-3555
(408) 254-2891
(408) 998-4200

Teen Dating Violence
Are you involved in a dating relationship that is abusive or is potentially abusive? Ask
yourself these questions:
● Is your partner jealous or possessive?

● Does your partner dislike your friends?
● Does your partner not let you have friends?
● Does your partner have a "quick temper"?
● Does your partner have traditional ideas of gender roles?
● Does your partner try to control you or make all the decisions?
● Do you worry about how your partner will react to things you do or say?
● Do you get a lot of negative verbal teasing from your partner?
● Are you comfortable with your partner's "playful" slaps and shoves?
● Does your partner's behavior change if he/she drinks or uses drugs?
● Does your partner pressure you to use drugs or alcohol?
● Do you feel it is your responsibility to make the relationship work?
● Are you afraid of what your partner might do if he/she becomes angry?
● Are you afraid to end the relationship?
● Do you believe your partner will not accept breaking up?
● Does your partner blame you when he/she mistreats you?
(12 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
Parents: Signs of Dating Violence:
● Your teen has bruises, bite marks, black eyes or other unexplained physical
injuries.
● Your teen is unwilling to discuss her or his dating relationship.
● Your teen is withdrawn.
● Your teen is spending a lot of time alone.
If you are the victim of a juvenile batterer:
● Talk to your parents, if you can, or decide which friend, teacher, relative, or
police officer you can tell.
● Telephone the Probation Department at (408) 299-2145 and ask to speak with
the assigned probation officer.
● If the juvenile batterer is appearing in court, you have the right to be notified, to
be present in court, to submit a statement to the Court, in person or in writing,

and to have a support person present.
● Contact an advocate to help you make a safety plan and to decide if you should
get a restraining order.
● As a minor, you can get a restraining order. A judge will decide if your parents
should be notified. For help with a restraining order, contact an advocate and
see the Restraining Order section of this handbook.
Counseling, education, and participation in a support group are the most
beneficial resources available to help you. Call one of the following phone
numbers for more information
Community Solutions (South County)
Next Door
Support Network
24-7 Line
(408) 842-3118
(408) 279-7550
(650) 940-7855
1-888-247-7717

Battering in Same Sex Relationships
Batterers in same sex relationships use the same power and control tactics as
heterosexual batterers. They blame the victim, deny or minimize the abuse, and resist
being accountable for their violence. Victims feel afraid, isolated and ashamed, take
responsibility for the abuse, and face many barriers in leaving the relationship. Societal
homophobia also causes lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered to face
(13 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
additional obstacles to safety and services including:
● Fear of losing custody of your children, your job, or family support if your sexual
orientation is revealed.
● Becoming a target for anti-lesbian/gay violence.

● Extremely limited resources, for you and the batterer.
● Inappropriate, insensitive, and homophobic responses from service providers
and the criminal justice system.
● Further stigmatization because of the abuser's violence.
● Ostracism from the lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender communities for
revealing the violence.
● Emotional abuse by the batterer, including questioning your "real" orientation
and reinforcing society's view of same sex relationships as perverse or bad.
● Threats by the abuser to "out" you to your family, friends, and employers.
● Denial of the existence of same sex battering by referring to the violence as
"mutual" battering.
If you are a victim of domestic violence in a same sex relationship, you
can call
Next Door
Support Network for Battered Women
(408) 279-7550
(800) 572-2782

Immigration
Many batterers use the immigration status of their partners as another way to control
them. Abuse may come in the following forms:
● Burning or stealing your papers or your children's papers.
● Refusing to help you gain legal status.
● Calling you names, like "illegal".
● Threatening to have you deported
● Reporting you to Immigration.
Many victims of domestic violence are afraid to report or leave their abuser because
they are "undocumented". Although the threat of deportation is real, your safety is
most important.
(14 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM

Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
Although your immigration status may present certain risks, you still have many rights.
● You do not have to reveal your immigration status.
● You do not need to be a citizen or have papers to get a restraining order.
● If you go to a battered women's shelter, you have the right to keep your
immigration status private. Some battered women's shelters may be able to
provide information and referrals for immigration issues.
● You are entitled to receive emergency medical care, regardless of your
immigration status.
● As a crime victim, you are not required to report your immigration status to the
police.
● Your immigration status does affect your eligibility for government assistance
and benefits.
● It is important to collect documentation of immigration status for you, your
children, and the batterer.
If you are not a permanent resident and are married or formerly married to a U.S.
citizen or permanent resident or are applying for residency through a spouse, contact
an immigration attorney. Your immigration status could be jeopardized by a divorce or
separation. An annulment, dissolution, or divorce could terminate your immigration
status.
If you have already received a conditional residence permit and you are a victim of
battery or extreme cruelty, you do not need the cooperation of your spouse to change
the conditional status to "permanent resident".
Always consult an Immigration Attorney if you are not sure of your
immigration status or if you need help. For more information you can call
Immigration Assistance Line
- Spanish and English
- Chinese, Cantonese, Mandarin
- Vietnamese
Catholic Charities Immigration Program

Asian Law Alliance

(650) 543-6767
(650) 543-6769
(650) 543-6797
(408) 944-0691
(408) 287-9710

CHAPTER 2: Planning for Your Safety
(15 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
Safety Before and During an Assault
● When an attack has begun, escape if you can. Whenever you believe that you
are in danger, leave your home and take your children, no matter the time of
day or night. Go to a friend or relative's house or a domestic violence shelter.
● Defend and protect yourself. Later, take photos of your injuries.
● Call for help. Scream loudly and continuously. You have nothing to be ashamed
of – the batterer does.
● During an argument, stay close to an exit and avoid the bathroom, kitchen, or
anywhere near weapons.
● Practice getting out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows,
elevator, or stairwell would be best.
● Have a packed bag ready, and keep it in a secret but accessible place so you
can leave quickly.
● Identify neighbors you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the
police if they hear a disturbance coming form your home.
● Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors
when you need the police.
● Plan where you will go if you have to leave home, even if you don't think you
will.

● Trust your own instincts and judgment. Whatever you need to do to survive is
the right choice. You have the right to protect yourself.
Safety When Preparing to Leave
● Open a savings account in your own name to establish your independence.
Give the bank a safe address, such as a post office box or a work address.
Think of other ways to increase your independence.
● Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra
clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
● Decide who you could stay with and who might loan you some money.
● Keep the shelter's phone number close at hand and keep some change or a
calling card on you at all times for emergencies.
● Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to
leave your batterer. Leaving your batterer is the most dangerous time.
● If you must leave your children, recover them as soon as possible. Courts tend
to give custody to a parent who physically has the children. Seek legal advice
or call a domestic violence agency if there are no current child custody orders.
Safety When Living on Your Own
(16 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
● Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and
safety devices to secure your windows.
● Call your local phone company to ask for an unlisted phone number. This
service may be free of charge.
● Create a safety plan with your children for times when you are not with them.
● Inform your children's school, day care, etc., about who has permission to pick
up your children.
● Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and
that they should call the police if they see him or her near your home.
Safety With a Protective Order
● Keep your protective order on you at all times

● Call police if your partner breaks the protective order.
● Keep a diary detailing any contact, threats, messages, or letters. Save phone
message tapes.
● Think of alternative ways to stay safe if the police do not respond right away.
● Give copies of your Protective Order and Proof of Service to everyone listed on
the order along with family, friends, and neighbors who are willing to help you.
Safety on the Job and in Public
● Decide whom at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office
or building security. Provide a picture of your batterer if possible.
● Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
● Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to
your car, bus, or train. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think
about what you would do if something happened while you were on your way
home.
Your Safety and Emotional Health
● If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an
alternative plan with someone you trust.
● If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do
so.
● Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your
needs.
● Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.
● Decide whom you can call to talk freely and openly to give you the support you
need.
● Plan to attend a women's or victim's support group to gain support from others
(17 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
and learn more about yourself, domestic violence, and relationships.
CHECKLIST: What You Need to Take With You When You Leave

Identification, driver's license, car registration

Court orders, restraining orders

Birth certificates for you and your children

Police reports / documentation of previous abuse

Money

Bank books and / or bank account numbers

Checkbooks, credit cards, ATM card

Lease / rental agreement, house deed

Medical, life, and auto insurance papers

House and car keys, pink slip

Medications

Small saleable objects

Address book

Pictures

Medical records for all family members

Social Security card

Welfare identification

School and immunization records

Work permits / identification

Passport or "Green Card"

Divorce papers / marriage license

Jewelry

Children's clothing and small toys

Spare eyeglasses or contact lenses

Other:

REMEMBER: These things are not as important as the lives of you and your
children!
(18 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook


CHAPTER 3: Your Rights and the Criminal Justice System
The criminal justice system can be intimidating and confusing; it can also help you.
The following information will help you understand the process better. The Victim

Advocacy Project through the Support Network for Battered Women is available to
assist you throughout your experience with the criminal justice system.
THE POLICE
Calling 911
If you have just been threatened or beaten, call 9-1-1. Tell the dispatcher that you are
in danger and you need help immediately.
When the police arrive, describe your injuries in detail. Include the following
information:
● How you were injured.
● Information about violation of the restraining order.
● Any threats the batterer made.
● Any weapons used.
● Any other instances of threats or violence.
● Whether there are any witnesses.
Ask the police to take pictures of injuries, bruises, and damaged property and to
remove any weapons used in the crime from the scene. Try to be as calm as you
possibly can.
Making a Report
● The police are required to write an incident report for all domestic violence calls,
even if the batterer has already left the scene when they arrive.
● The police are required to provide you with an information card with the report
number and the officer's name and badge number.
(19 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
● Although it is best to make the report as soon as possible, you can also call the
police hours after you have been abused, or even the next day, to have a report
taken.
● If the police do not write a report, you can go to the police station to make a
report yourself.
● Photos of your injuries are crucial. Bruises may appear hours or days after the

incident, and the pictures can be used as evidence. While police may take
photos, you should also take your own photos.
● Never hesitate to call the police for help. If you disagree with an officer's
responses to your situation, you can directly contact the commanding officer or
request assistance from a domestic violence advocacy agency in
communicating your concerns to the law enforcement agency involved.
● Always get the police officer's names and badge numbers.
Civil Stand-By
If you need to return to your house to get your things or you don't want to let the
batterer back in your home to pick up his or her things, you can request a civil stand-
by. A civil stand-by means the police are present to make sure everyone is safe. The
police will only allow a limited time for the person to gather property. You can call your
local police department to request a civil stand-by at any time.
Copy of the Police Report
You have a right to obtain a copy of any police report in which you are listed as the
victim. The reports are available through the police agency that handled the case. The
charge for the report can be as much as $20, depending on the agency.
It is always a good idea to get a copy of any incident report documenting your
batterer's abuse against you. These police reports can be used as evidence of abuse
in other court proceedings, such as restraining order or custody hearings.
Restraining Order Violations
● If your abuser has violated a restraining order, show the police your court order
and the proof of service. Restraining orders can be verified in the state registry.
● The police are required to make an arrest if the batterer is present and they
believe a violation of the restraining order has occurred.
Emergency Protection Restraining Orders
(20 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
● You have a right to request an Emergency Protection Restraining Order
(EPRO) from an officer at the scene of the crime.

● An EPRO is temporary, and only a police officer, with the approval of a judge,
can obtain this order.
● Since you need an officer's assistance to get an EPRO, it is important to
describe the batterer's actions and the basis of your fears.
● EPRO's are available 24 hours a day and good for up to 7 days and can include
orders for custody and residence exclusion. To get a more permanent order,
you must go to Superior Court to file for a civil restraining order (see the Family
Court section for more information).
Arresting the Batterer
Even if the batterer has broken the law, he or she may not necessarily be arrested. If
asked, you do not have to tell police you want to prosecute. An officer's decision to
arrest the batterer should not be based on whether or not you want to "press charges".
Only the District Attorney can charge a person with a crime.
Private Person's "Citizen's Arrest"
If the police refuse to arrest the batterer and the batterer is present, you have the right
to make a citizen's arrest under Penal Code Section 837. All you have to say is, "I
want to make a citizen's arrest." You can tell the police of your request to make a
citizen's arrest outside of the hearing of the batterer. The police are supposed to
advise you of your right to make a citizen's arrest.
Release from Jail Following Arrest
If the batterer is arrested and taken to jail, he or she may be released on bail. This
release can happen within just a few hours. You have the right to be notified of your
batterer's release from jail.
You may call
The Santa Clara County Victim Notification System
to register with the system so that you will be
automatically notified of your batterer's release.
1-800-464-3568
Arrest by Warrant
(21 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM

Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
If the batterer is not arrested at the time of the incident, the case may be assigned to a
detective for further investigation. A detective will re-interview people, collect more
evidence, and gather medical information. Not all reports are sent to the District
Attorney for review.
The District Attorney's Office will review all reports received and decide whether to file
charges. If the District Attorney authorizes charges, a warrant for the batterer's arrest
will be valid once a judge has signed the warrant.
The warrant is sent to the police agency that completed the report, and the batterer is
then notified of the warrant, usually by mail. If the batterer does not turn him or herself
in, the police will attempt to find the person. This process can be lengthy.
THE OFFICE OF PRETRIAL SERVICES
When a batterer is arrested and taken to jail, the Office of Pretrial Services gathers
information to help the judge in setting bail and to make recommendations to the Court
and District Attorney about the batterer's possible release at court.
Your input is very important. A Pretrial Services Officer will call you and ask you about
your safety, past violence or threats, and any conditions of release you believe the
batterer should have if the judge allows him or her to be released. You may contact the
Office of Pretrial Services at 299-4082 (a 24 hour number).
The Office of Pretrial Services
(408) 299-4082
Bail
You have the right to request an increase in bail. The law requires that a judge set a
person's bail within eight hours of being booked into custody. The judge can increase
bail if the victim's safety is in danger. Tell the Pretrial staff that you fear for your safety
and want the batterer's bail increased. Once bail is set, you have the right to request a
rehearing for bail setting to increase or revoke bail.
Release at Arraignment
If the batterer has not posted bail, the judge will decide whether to release the batterer
from custody at the first court hearing, the arraignment. The judge's decision is

(22 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
typically based upon the information provided by Pretrial Services. A recommendation
for release should not be made without your input.
Supervised Own Recognizance Program (SORP)
Many batterers are released by the judge at arraignment on SORP. This program
means the batterer's release is conditional upon meeting certain requirements the
Court feels are necessary for your safety and to guarantee the batterer's appearance
in court. Batterers are supervised by Pretrial staff to monitor their conduct.
Stay Away and Other Conditions of SORP
You have the right to request that a "stay away" or no contact order be a condition of
release. This order is different from a restraining order. The order is available to local
police agencies for enforcement and a notice is mailed to you. You may call 299-4091
to request a copy of the order or to ask questions. This no contact order will remain in
effect throughout the court process, but can be changed.
Once the order is terminated or changed, the police agencies are notified, and you are
also provided written notice. Other common conditions of release include participation
in a batterer's program and substance abuse treatment.
Violation of SORP Conditions
If the batterer does not comply with the conditions of release, the Pretrial Officer will
notify the Court and may recommend revocation of the Supervised Own Recognizance
release. If the Court revokes the release, the batterer will be taken back into custody or
a bench warrant will be issued. Pretrial Services' involvement in the case terminates at
this point.
THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE
The decision to "press" or "drop charges" can only be made by the District Attorney's
Office (DA). You, as the victim of a crime, cannot "press" or "drop" charges against the
batterer.
The DA's Office will either file charges or reject the case based on the facts in the
police report. There is a special unit that prosecutes domestic violence cases.

Your cooperation in the case is very important, but your lack of cooperation will not
stop the prosecution. The DA prosecutes batterers to stop the violence against you.
(23 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook
If you have questions or would like to convey your thoughts about the case, you may
contact the Deputy District Attorney assigned to the case. Call the DA's Office at (408)
792-2533 or the DA's Paralegal at (408) 792-2546.
The District Attorney's Office
(408) 792-2533
(408) 792-2546
Felony versus Misdemeanor
In general, a felony is a more serious crime than a misdemeanor. A felony conviction
can result in a state prison sentence or local jail time. A misdemeanor conviction,
however, is limited to no more than one year in the county jail.
Arraignment
If the District Attorney files charges, the batterer will be brought before a Superior
Court judge who will tell the batterer what the charges are and ask for a plea.
The batterer may plead guilty or "no contest" and be immediately sentenced by the
Court. You have a right to be present and heard by the judge at this time.
If the batterer is in custody, arraignment occurs within 48 to 78 hours. You can call
(408) 792-2500 to find out the arraignment date, time, department, and court address.
If the batterer is out of custody, the filing of charges and arraignment could take
several weeks.
Pretrial Conference (Misdemeanor Cases>
If the batterer pleads not guilty, a court date will be set for pretrial conference. At
pretrial conference, the case is discussed by a judge, DA, defense attorney, and the
batterer. You have the right to be present, but your presence is not required. If the
batterer still pleads not guilty, the case goes to trial and a court date will be set.
Preliminary Hearing (Felony Cases Only)
If the batterer charged with a felony pleads "not guilty", a preliminary hearing is held to

(24 of 43)8/30/2004 1:07:00 PM