Tài liệu Truyện cười bằng tiếng anh - 1 pptx

Truyện cười bằng tiếng anh

A tech support


This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access
Denied" message every time he logs in
This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access
Denied" message every time he logs in.

It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.

Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."

Customer: "But I only have capital letters on my keyboard."











The price of choise?


What is better?
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain

transplant. He told the patient,
"You have your choice of two brains. For $1000 you
can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you
can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a
politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it's not better, just unused."
The answer

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you!!!
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts
Man: I want to share everything with you.



Oh, you died.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.



I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.

A player was telling his mother about the game scheduled
for that afternoon.
-Today we will play in a stadium with a roof, Mom! His
mother replied happily:
-Really? That's very good. When you're playing 1 won't have

to worry about the hot Sun or rain and you won't get sick. You always have
your head bare and you play outside without a cap.










WHOSE YARD DID YOU PLAY IN?

Seeing her husband come home from a Football
match, the wife asked:
- How? Did your team win?




The husband was joyfully showing- off:
-We sure did win. We had an easy situation because we played in our own
"back yard.”
- So, whose yard did you play in?



Bulls

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher
was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch,
and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years.
Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which
100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know
where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I aint' givin' him any of
mine."

Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years
and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im
till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me
have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I
am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."



They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in
the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-
of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he
took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.

First Bull: "Ahem You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt
I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our
new friend."

Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of. I'll stay on the

opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an
argument." They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him
pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some
of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows
I'M a bull!"