Truyện cười bằng tiếng anh

Truyện cười bằng tiếng anh -3


WHY USE YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE BALL?

His mother was scolding a football player:
Alas, my son. I sat at home watching the football game
on TV and I saw you jump up to use your head against
the ball. Oh, how stupid you are, my son. You can use
your hands or your feet to play football: That would be
fine. Why must you use your head against the ball? You could get a trauma
in your skull and brain and your life would be ruined.... Son?


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You should learn to be more polite

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for
dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks,
Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to
learn to be polite?"





Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you
want, right?

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Real Signs and Advertisements

In the window of an Oregon general store:
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can
come here?"
In a Pennsylvania cemetary:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any
but their own graves."

On a Tennessee highway:
"Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

From the safety information card in America WestAirline seat pocket:
"If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew
member."


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The River Isn't Deep

A stranger on horse back came to a river with which
he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster
if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but
soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted : "I thought
you said it wasn't deep ?"

"It isn't", was the boy's reply : "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their
middles !"
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I went out in my slippers

Len and Jim worked for the same company. One day,
Len lent Jim 20 dollars, but then Jim left his job and
went to work in another town without paying Len back
his 20 dollars.
Len did not see Jim for a year, and then he heard from
another friend that Jim was in town and staying at the central hotel, so he




went to see him there late in the evening.
He found out the number of Jim’s room from the clerk at the desk
downstairs and went up to find him. When he got to the room, he saw Jim’s
shoes outside the door, waiting to be cleaned.
“Well, he must be in,” he thought, and knocked at the door.
There was no answer.
He knocked again. Then he said,
“I know you’re in, Jim. Your shoes are out here’.
“I went out in my slippers,” answered a voice from inside the room.

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