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Walking The Narrow Road
Marketing and Spiritual Instruction for Christians in Business
By Josh Kilen
Published By JoshKilen at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Josh Kilen
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by
any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or
given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please
purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not
purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com
and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
The Lonely Life of a Christian in Business
Business and Marketing
The Church and Christianity
Writing, Publishing, and Extra Thoughts
Conclusion
The Lonely Life of a Christian in Business
Life’s not easy being a Christian, holding on to those ideals, and still running a profitable
business. In fact, as Christians we are held to higher standards and hamstrung in ways that
our secular counterparts would never understand. Where they can cheat a little, the Spirit
inside of us will accept only honesty. Where they can bend the rules, we must walk the straight
and narrow. Where they can feel justified in closing a lop-sided deal, we must love our
neighbors as ourselves.
We’re handicapped in getting ahead.
Or are we?
Business is changing. The old ways of tricking and making people feel a certain way through
psychological manipulation are over. If you watch carefully, the tides are turning, as people
become more informed, more savvy, and fed-up with with businesses broken and lame


promises. The future belongs to those people who can form relationships, exceed customer
expectations, connect, and tell relevant stories.
In short, the future belongs to the Christian Business Owner.
We have a model for all those things, the man we claim to follow, Jesus himself. He valued
and maintained quality relationships above everything (with his relationship to His Father
being the most important), He consistently exceeded his followers expectations on things that
mattered, and He communicated mainly in story through parables.
As Christians, or literally followers of Christ, we are called to emulate these traits, to walk in
his steps as Peter says in his second epistle. If you do, then as a Christian Businessperson you
are in prime shape to outlast your secular competition and grow your business for the
Kingdom.
Because our faith and our commercial lives cannot be separate, we can’t have a serious
discussion about business without also addressing our relationship with God and His people.
The spiritual life connects deeply to the rest of our actions, and we need to feed that part of us
in addition to learning new ways of doing business.
This is not your typical business book. Not only is it directed at Christians in Business (a rarity
due to prejudices in the church) but it’s also structured as devotionals rather than as chapters.
It’s my firm belief that you will be better served by reading one section every week than by
reading the whole thing at one sitting.
So read one entry, put it down, then meditate on it for a while. Read, reflect, re-read, then put
it into action. If you are looking for quick answers or easy solutions, Jesus never promised
that and neither do I. But if you dedicate yourself to change then I guarantee you will succeed.
You’ve already taken the first step by purchasing this book, I believe you can make it the rest
of the way.
Part One: Business and Marketing
Introduction to a New Way of Thinking About Your Business
There’s something coming on the horizon, a revolution. A battle between those who do
business for the transaction and those who do business for relationships. Only one side can
win.
Business as it has been conducted relies on four pillars:

1. Thinking about people as numbers and transactions
2. Giving customers and employees the absolute minimum required, finding their
expectations and delivering just enough to not disappoint
3. Talking about your own interests, incessantly, in order to make people listen
4. Since no one listens when you talk about yourself, you have to rely on psychological tricks
and manipulations tactics in order to make people hear you.
Regardless of the industry or the business, I see these ideas being the basis for almost every
business decision made.
As hurtful as it is, it has worked for over a hundred years.
Your conscience knows there’s a different way. Most of us know what it is but we don’t have
the words for it. We don’t want to treat people in-humanly, but we can’t think of what else to
do.
Do you think your customers are immune to the way you run your business? Do you think that
they want to be treated like transactions? Do you think that they care? All signs point to “yes”
and as the field for choice opens up even more (mostly because of the internet), your
customers will make the best choice they can. They will choose relationships.
How do we save ourselves?
You cannot just get by anymore, you can't just treat your customers as means to an end.
Instead you have to think of your customers as an end. Cultivate quality relationships with
them.
In order for your business to survive, you will have to give your customers more than they
expected, every time.
And, if you want to just tell them what you think is important, only talking about your
interests and values, you'll turn them off and won't be as effective as connecting and bonding
through shared values.
Finally, persuasion and psychological tricks won't make a significant difference in the future.
Instead, you will have to tell stories and more importantly, stories that make the customers
want to share in the story that you are telling.
But it all begins with thinking of and treating people like people, and not numbers.
The following devotional style articles will point you in the direction of a new way to think

about business and customer relationships.
More About Relationships and Transactions
You hate marketing and I want to tell you that’s okay.
You don’t trust business anymore, and I think that’s great.
You have this pain in your gut when you make a deal and it bothers you when you sell a
contract.
That pain is wonderful
Those feelings are signs that you're still alive, that you're human and breathing.
That you want to live.
The acts of marketing, business, and signing contracts aren’t inherently bad or evil. In fact
they are some of the most beautiful and complicated human relationships we engage in.
The problems come when we think about relationships as transactions
Please be honest with yourself. Anyone in business who has sold anything has a moment
where they hated themselves. At least once. And the reason you hated yourself? Because you
focused on the transaction instead of the relationship. It grates against our souls and if we
give in to the temptation once, the next comes so much more easily.
People in general do not trust businesses
The lack of trust isn’t caused by MCI or Enron or Lehman Brothers, people don’t trust because
businesses don’t treat them like people. They feel like transactions made to serve the
corporate interests.
Now, the corporations don’t see it that way, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. We live in a
world where the transaction trumps the relationship, only because most businesses are not
designed to cultivate relationships, only to streamline transactions. We make sure that the
transaction costs less and less, keeping the price the same. This practice, while monetarily
beneficial to the corporation, has the added problem of devaluing the relationship with the
client over time. And the relationship is all the client cares about.
And relationships are becoming everything
Can’t you feel deep down that business needs to change? Maybe you’ve written about it, or
spoke with a friend, or just felt it in your gut. You have to see things are changing. This is how.
Much as been made of relationships in business during the past 20 years. But I think that they

all miss three vital points:
The first is that this is a battle, a war between ideologies. The fight is between those who want
to blank out, cut costs, treat people like numbers, and “just run their business” and those who
understand that with so many choices in the marketplace, people are looking for companies
that are willing to give them a relationship. Clients recognize that a relationship is an asset,
that it’s difficult to provide. They will reward you for that.
This is a war, between businesses that simply want to sell stuff and those that value and
cultivate relationships
The second vital point that this movement for relationships has not latched on to in any
meaningful way, is that the human need for relationships is natural and rational. It makes a
lot of sense. But rarely do we delve into the psychology that underlies our basic motivations
and ideals. I think it’s knowable, you can understand it, and it will make the bigger picture so
much clearer. And clarity makes the details shine. I think that this has been generally ignored
in the past because it’s pretty difficult to talk about, and not at all easy to illustrate.
A third vital point missed, mostly because the underlying causes were unknown or ignored, is
the impact of storytelling on communication. We tell stories, to ourselves as expectations of
things to come or past, and to others in order to convey information. It’s lovely that
storytelling is emerging as a qualified topic of conversation, but I rarely see any information
that goes beyond reciting some information you can find with a quick Google search. Typically
it involves some variation of the three act structure, maybe some hero’s journey mixed in, but
there’s a much deeper level that will allow you to communicate more effectively more often.
Ultimately, if you decide to operate relationally, there will be serious consequences for you
personally and your business. You will have more clients, you will make more money, you will
create an amazing reputation. But I wonder if those will matter to you anymore? Because
when you start cultivating relationships beyond creating transactions, you begin to care more
about relationships. That may have unintended consequences.
Questions
Are you ready for this revolution?
Will you be able to make the change?
How will your business look if you sincerely and completely focused on cultivating

relationships with your customers and clients?
Why Tricking People Won’t Work for Your Business
I think we can all agree that businesses should not try to sell things that people do not really
want.
Unfortunately that’s how people traditionally use marketing; to identify what people will be
most susceptible to buying and then how they can be persuaded to buy it.
This marketing model is not only outdated, it’s dangerous.
Marketing Is Not Really Connecting
The danger comes from trying to sell at the expense of the person. Isn’t that why people don’t
trust marketing? The customer automatically assumes that the business doesn’t have their
best interests at heart.
I envision a system that affords businesses the opportunity to connect with their clients in
such a way that they tell the business their story. Then it’s up to the business to help them live
the story that they really want to live.
marketing = persuading people to buy things they don’t need
connecting = helping people’s current lives be amazing
Two Quick Examples
Proctor and Gamble makes Tide. Their gargantuan marketing machine will sell you and
market to you using thousands of focus groups to refine a message designed to get you to buy
Tide. Why? Because they want to make your life better? Not really. They simply want to sell
more Tide.
The customers are no longer dealt with as people, they are a line item, a number. The
customer becomes a way to perpetuate the business.
Seventh Generation Laundry Detergent on the other hand takes a different approach. They
are living a better story and they strive to help others live that story too. The business
connects with their customers through that story.
If you are an extremely eco-conscious individual, you will probably find the Seventh
Generation narrative more appealing than P&G’s. Seventh Generation has found your story
and invites you to live an even better version of that (your) story.
Does Marketing Have A Future?

Marketing is being replaced by connecting with people to share mutual stories. Not pushing
agendas on others, not coercing them to take certain actions, not tricking them to act against
their best interests. That’s a dying model.
Marketing as it’s been practiced has no place in the future of business.
Questions
In our increasingly connected society, which do you think stands a better chance of success:
Connecting to share in stories or tricking people to make purchases?
Which side do you fall on?
The Hidden Secrets of Client Emotions
Talking about the origin of emotions is not unlike talking about where babies come from. We
understand the process intellectually, but when we try to wrap our minds around that first
spark of creation everything becomes a little hazy.
Do you really know how the spark of life brings a new being into existence? In the same vein,
do you really understand why you get emotional?
Where Emotions Come From
The key is in how people see the world. We see the world through our expectations.
We expect certain things to happen and whether reality delivers or not determines what
emotions we feel.
Too simplistic? I’ll give you some examples:
Situation 1: The Lost Lover
If someone you love calls and says he’ll be home by 5:30pm, how do you feel when he still
hasn’t shown up at 6:30 and isn’t picking up his phone? What about at 10:30pm? Are you
more upset? The farther reality gets from your expectations, the more emotions you feel.
Situation 2: The Disappointment Store
You walk into an upscale store, expecting a certain level of service. As you walk through the
aisles, sales clerks pretend to be busy, others actively walk away from you. No one comes to
help you. Do you feel disappointed? Or angry even?
Now imagine you actually are able to corner a salesclerk to ask question, but instead of
treating you as important, she holds up her hand, tells you to wait, and walks away. Are you
mad now? Why? It’s because you had certain expectations and the business didn’t deliver.

What if the same situation happens in a dollar store? Are you just as mad? Were your
expectations different for the cheaper store? Are you still thinking about the hand in your
face? How does that make you feel? Why?
Situation 3: The “Nice” Date
Now, imagine that you are on a date. You go to dinner, a movie, and have a nice time. How do
you feel? Would you call it happy? Or would you call it satisfied and maybe content? When we
get exactly what we expected to get, we are content.
Situation 4: The Unbelievably Great Experience
What about happiness?
Happiness and joy are when reality exceeds our expectations. You feel this most often when
you are surprised with more than you originally expected. A husband comes home with a
surprise gift, your kid suddenly decides to clean the bathroom (and does an excellent job!), the
IRS gives you a bigger tax refund than you thought they would.
What about the same business from the second example, with a twist.
You walk into the upscale store, expecting great service, and looking to buy a nice scarf. You’re
immediately greeted by a smiling salesclerk. She asks if you have been to the store before and
you tell her yes, that you are just browsing. She helpfully points over to a new line of clothes
that she thinks you will like (you can tell that she did a quick evaluation of your current style
and made a well educated guess).
To your surprise, you actually like the outfits they have laid out and try a few on. The
salesclerk at the dressing room is also trained as a fashion consultant and makes a few careful
recommendations about different sizes and accessories, all of which improve your look
measurably. You choose two outfits that look fantastic, and the sales/fashion consultant
points you to where the scarves are.
You find one that you like and head up front, where you find the first salesclerk. You ask her
where to check out and she says that she can help you over at an obscure kiosk that you would
have never expected to be a checkout counter. As the clerk is scanning your outfits, and
complimenting your taste, you tell her that you really just came in for the scarf. She looks at
you with a smile and tells you the scarf would look great with the second outfit, and as a thank
you for coming in, the scarf is included at no charge.

How do you feel as you leave? Will you go back to that store? Did they succeed in making you
happy? At the very least more than content?
Emotions Unleashed
As you can see from the examples, emotions stem from the interaction of reality against our
expectations. What steps you can take to be happier is the subject of another post entirely.
This is especially important for business to understand this. Honestly, your future depends on
understanding this.
Questions
What do you think? Is this definition right?
How do you think you can use it in your business?
What about your personal life?
The Power of a Villain for Your Business
You’re telling a story with your business. And the customer either finds your story good
enough to join or rejects it.
In any good story, the hero struggles against the antagonist which creates deep emotion.
Customers won’t become emotional about (i.e. remember) your story unless they can see
themselves as the hero in an epic struggle or a battle with an antagonist or obstacle.
So what do you do? You join your customer in the fight against the common enemy and aid
them in their fight, fighting along side of them if possible.
Keep this in mind; in the end, the villain is almost always disappointment. Help them avoid
that, achieve happiness in the process, and they will love you for it.
Questions
What are you fighting against?
What mutual villain do you and your customers have in common?
How To Replace Salespeople
Salespeople exist because people have questions and want to be reassured.
Really, they just need some information that will benefit them but aren’t sure of how to ask to
get said information.
So what if you created a system or game that answers questions, gives the needed information,
and reassures the user? You could conceivably structure a system where your customers were

free to explore, and prompted to find answers on their own.
If you created such a system or game, instead of sending a sales person next time, you could
simply plug in prospects to your system and let the automated process take over.
Questions
Do you have a sales force with high turn over and low production?
How could you automate some of their tasks?
Where can you effectively answer customer questions to ease the way for your sales force?
The Future of Controlling People
Modern marketing battles for the control of people’s minds
But what happens when people won’t be controlled? What will businesses do when people
won’t be manipulated and cajoled into buying something that they don’t want or need? How
will they market or advertise?
Here’s an idea
Instead of tricking or manipulating customers in order to control them, instead of employing
the latest marketing fad or guru, instead of giving your customers just enough not to leave
you; if you want them to stay for good you will have to give them more.
The future of controlling people lies in the ability to delight, to surprise, and to make happy.
You have to exceed their expectations
Surpassing, or exceeding, expectations isn’t some vague ideal. You can, and should, find out
what your best customers expect to get from your business, then give them even more.
Questions
What do your customers expect from you?
How can you give them more?
How to Make Your Salesforce Productive, Please!
While spending some time in a coffee shop, I sat across from a salesperson named Adam. As
he worked on his computer, he kept making sighs and other sounds of despair, as if the task
before him was actually killing him.
Curious, I felt compelled to ask him why he was going to die soon.
Adam confided in me that he worked for a paint company that recently put him in charge of
over 100 current commercial accounts, in addition to establishing new accounts. He

attributed his grief filled noises to the paperwork this company required him to complete.
The Curse of Being Unproductive
As Adam sat across from me, for 3 hours he didn’t make one phone call, write any emails, or
do anything towards helping his clients. He sat and inputted his monthly expense receipts.
While this paperwork is necessary to tracking, it is also completely unrelated to the real
talents for which he was hired.
Good sales people are rarely that detail oriented, and often fail miserably at routine and
repeating tasks. They excel at making personal connections and cultivating relationships. Why
force them to do something that they are not good at?
The Solution That’s Hard to Swallow
The paint company could easily pay $20k a year for a part time assistant to take care of his
paperwork and routine details. Don’t you think that they would receive at least twice that sum
back in increased productivity? The paint company could easily find someone who is detail
oriented to deal with all the tasks he’s not proficient at handling.
It’s That Ol’ Transactional Mindset Again
I see this kind of thinking all the time. It’s a symptom of the Transactional Mindset where
numbers and figures become the standard, and relationships take a back seat to “efficiency”.
Focusing on transactions cause most businesses to favor short term thinking over long term.
Relationships are for a life time, transactions are all about right now. This paint company only
focuses on the present, and as a result loses out on major long term profits.
If the paint company just shifted their mindset a fraction of percent, they would see the
wisdom of segmenting talent and work to let their sales representative do what he does best.
Questions
Are you hampering your best salespeople through useless tasks? Why did you hire them in the
first place?
What steps can you take to ensure that they are more productive?
Quality Business Advice From Your Hairdresser (I Mean Your
Stylist)
I was asked by a kindly cosmetology student (hairstylist in training) if I would serve as her
guinea pig. I had no idea who she was or if I would come out looking like George Clooney or

Lyle Lovett.
My first instinct was to run away.
Thankfully my good breeding held up and I politely accepted her offer. After all, a free hair cut
is still free. Plus I had my trusty hat in case things went horribly wrong.
Her name was Kelsey and she was a student of The Salon Professional Academy in Tacoma on
38th Street. The Salon Academy is just another private school along the lines of Corinthian
Colleges (of Everest fame, the school that trains people to be medical professionals that most
doctors won’t hire); it’s post-high school education that’s intended to train people in technical
or specialized skills. The Academy's cost is quite extravagant (more than $15,000) and the
program takes a whole year to complete.
As I sat down in her chair, I asked Kelsey how long she had been in the program. “Two
months,” she replied cheerily. As her scissors approached my head, I was not encouraged by
this.
We talked as she cut my hair. I was nervous about dividing her attention (I really didn’t want
her to be distracted around my ears) but she seemed to know what she was doing, and I began
to relax if only slightly.
Eventually the subject of her post-school employment came up and I found out something
startling. The Salon Academy doesn’t actually find them jobs at the end of the program,
instead opting to give a class our two about resumes and job hunting. For the kind of money
they charge you’d think they would have a more robust job placement program, especially
since that is the desired outcome for the program; learn a trade so you can get a decent job.
Kelsey sounded very excited about the education she was receiving so I tried to be supportive.
However, it became clear that she was not prepared for life after school and needed some
extra advice.
Luckily she had the right man in her chair for such matters.
We merrily discussed websites, blogs, videos, and general sales techniques. At the end she
seemed slightly overwhelmed but very happy.
After I left, it occurred to me that she’s probably not alone. Other hair stylists also should
know how to build their personal brands and cultivate quality relationships with customers.
While this information applies to hair stylists, it can be applied widely for any type of

business:
1. Build a personal website
Blogs are free to set up and there is tons of information out there to help you. Get one and
start creating your online brand.
This will help you two ways:
1.It will help you get a job since the salon can see your work (you can put videos on your blog)
and read about your insights (you should tell stories about clients and your work)
2.It will help you build your personal brand. You will most likely work for a salon but you still
have to build your own clientele. Your own website will do that.
2. Pay attention to the relationships, not the transactions
One haircut is worth $15-50 dollars. However, the lifetime value of all the customer’s business
is in the thousands. Find a way to connect and make them a friend, so that they become a
client instead of just a customer. Find what matters to them and strive to give them that every
time, and that doesn’t have to do with hair.
And always deliver your absolute best product every time, no matter what.
3. Exceed client expectations in everything you do
Find out what their previous hairstyling experiences were. What did they love, what did they
hate? How can you do better? Do people expect hair stylists to have a website or blog offering
free tips?
So surprise them, and give them your card with the address to your blog or videos you created
that teach them great ways to maintain their hair.
4. Make it easy, and special for the customer
One technique that I have yet to see is to sell a subscription for haircuts. Essentially the
customer would pay a set amount and get a certain number of haircuts, but they would pay in
advance or you could set up a monthly reoccurring payment.
Then what if you went the extra mile and made little cards for each of these VIP customers?
Just think of all the ways you could make things easier for your client or make them feel
special.
5. Up-sell the easy way
Most salons require stylists to up-sell product and for many this proves to be a real challenge.

Actually, it’s an opportunity in disguise. You can use bundling to work the cost of the product
into the service. Instead of charging$20 for just a haircut, you offer them a “special” of haircut
plus product for slightly more money.
Even better is to create two special offers and give them to your client as a choice. As long as
the products you’re bundling are the right fit for the client, this technique is guaranteed to
grow your sales.
6. Tell Stories
Good sales is good connecting and conversation. If you tell your customer stories about life,
about similar customers, about funny situations that you have imagined, you will succeed in
connecting with them and they will buy more. Simple as that.
Honestly, I wish schools like the Salon Academy would teach more cutting edge (pun slightly
intended) marketing techniques. You can’t find a more recession-proof business than cutting
hair but that’s only if you can build a clientele, and that takes a solid marketing and
relationship strategy.
While many stylists I’ve met don’t have a desire to “market” themselves, it will soon be
absolutely crucial for their careers.
Oh, and by the way, the hair cut, though just a trim, went quite well and my hat stayed off my
head for the rest of the day. All in all, I’d say everyone came out ahead that day.
Questions
How are you communicating your value to your clients?
How can you make things easier for your customer?
The Dire Results of Transactional Thinking, and How to Overcome
In Spring of 2011, Penguin Windows, a window reseller based in Mukilteo WA, closed its
doors for good. This will mean a slight reprieve for many homeowners; less annoying phone
calls, no more unwanted and pushy visitors at the door, fewer pieces of junk mail.
It also serves as a warning, shedding some light on the most important topic for local
businesses today.
The topic is relationship. I used to work for Penguin Windows back when they were called
Statewide, then spent several more years working for a competitor. I found that many window
resellers focus simply on the individual transaction. The mentality is simple; sell people a

product and get out of the house, then find more people to sell to.
The Transactional Mindset is actually an old sales philosophy that has 4 main tenants:
1.Value the transaction over relationship
2.Meet only their minimum expectations or whatever the customer will let you get away with
3.Advertise and “market” to people constantly
4.Use persuasion as a tool to get people to buy
Each of these points is deadly on its own, but there’s a real danger to the business when they
are combined. The reason so many businesses, especially in this industry, are closing is
directly related to this transactional, non-human mentality. Consumers pick up on that
mindset and avoid the business.
Instead, your customers are looking for the opposite of the above list. They want:
1.A relationship that’s cultivated over a lifetime
2.A company that will exceed their expectations and surprise them
3.To be understood and connected with
4.To be told stories
You might look at the above list and think that customer wants are too vague, but I assure you
they’re not impractically so. Here are some quick tips:
Don’t focus on the sales but instead look at the process of the relationship, from the
introduction to evaluation to creating partnerships.
Don’t be just good enough but surprise your customers with more gifts, give them more than
they expected and they will be happier, rewarding you with more business.
Don’t just talk about your offers or business but speak to them and their values. A good start is
a blog or a “newsletter” that speaks to issues and topics that your customers deeply care
about.
Don’t try to “sell” them, use stories and narrative tools to help them persuade themselves.
Even if you aren’t just out to make a quick buck, you probably don’t practice all four of the
new habits. Take some time to re-evaluate your marketing and sales strategies in light of these
points and see how you match up.
There’s definitely a storm brewing and if you don’t focus on relationships, giving more,
connecting, and storytelling then your business may find itself in very dire straits.

Questions
Are you focused on sales or relationships?
Are you content with being just good enough?
In your advertising and marketing, are you simply telling your customers how great you are or
are you connecting with them?
How to Craft Your Story for B2B Success
I recently interviewed a client and he challenged me about the relevance of storytelling and
social media in B2B situations. I gave him a decent response that seemed to answer his
questions, but it also got me looking more closely at business to business relationships.
Business is all about cultivating quality relationships with clients and customers. B2B is no
exception to this. But business tend to take longer to trust one another, so the relationship
process is extended.
Relationships have a process
Every relationship follows distinct stages in a process; introduction, curiosity, evaluation,
exchange, purposing, and togetherness. These are the crucial stages where you have to
construct the story you are telling. If you ignore any of these stages, you will miss something
crucial in the relationship.
Relationships thrive on good stories
The key is in developing the story for each stage of the relationship. The story you tell must be
different at each stage but they must all tie to the same theme of a larger story.
At the introduction stage you simply focus on making yourself known and the very basest of
relevant detail; connect yourself to a theme, and their overall story. At the curiosity stage you
work on intriguing them to continue the relationship; you tell them a story that is interesting,
cool, and relevant. And so on throughout the stages. The idea is to tell a larger story as you
cultivate the relationship through telling the smaller stories at each stage.
Stories motivate to act
While the relationship will give you credibility and authority, the story will motivate them to
act. If they believe the story you are telling them, and it touches them at a relevant, deep level;
only then will you have success.
Talking about benefits isn’t important at first

Creating that smaller story for each stage begins with identifying the problem. While most
business or marketing books teach the reader to highlight the benefits first, the benefit is like
the ending of the a story. Unfortunately the ending isn’t usually what grabs our attention. It’s
the opening (of a good story) that holds us and draws us in. In fact, our psychology is created
to hear and process information in the form of story. So wouldn’t it make sense to follow a
narrative form in our communications, especially if that’s how our brains work?
Crafting your B2B stories
So how do you create a good story for B2B if you don’t hammer away at the benefits? They
simply won’t care about the benefits until they believe you understand their problems, until
you can prove to them that you understand their desires.
When you create a story to draw a client in, you want to start with the want, the desire. Often
their want is represented by a problem; something they don’t have, a lack, which is caused
because the obstacles to get the thing they want are too high. You must address all these issues
first, only then telling them the ending to the story. Once you have laid the groundwork, then
can you paint the picture for them, the picture of a brand new world where they can finally get
what they want (the benefit).
Think Relationships, Not Transactions
Remember, this is part of a relationship, and the process for businesses is much longer than
for most consumers. Identify where you are in the relationship, craft the stories that will take
you deeper into the stages of relationship, and make sure you stay true to the overall story.
Honestly, if you simply remind yourself that it’s not about sales goals, it’s about cultivating
quality relationships, communicating, and telling stories, then you will be on more solid, long
term footing.
Questions
What's the bigger story that you are telling?
What are the smaller components involved in that story?
Three Easy Ways to Destroy Your Business
National businesses like OfficeMax represent everything I warn local businesses not to do.
OfficeMax exemplifies the mindset of Transactional Thinking. Its laser focus on the single sale
and minimizing costs reduces the customer relationship to that of a mere transaction. This

automatically makes people feel less than human.
A Tale of Treating People as Transactions
This is what happened.
One Friday morning, as I entered the local Tacoma OfficeMax, the employee at the copy
counter saw me come in. Instead of greeting me, she actually turned her back and walked the
other way. Not a satisfying start.
As I made my way to the wall of toner, another employee puttered close by, stocking some
items, but he made a concerted effort to avoid eye contact. I found my printer toner, milled
around looking at other items, all the while the employee studiously went about his business.
He never made any attempt to greet me.
Only slightly annoyed that no one had even welcomed me, I headed to the checkout counter to
make my purchase and get out of the store. As I approached the counter, an employee, Erin,
came out through a side door and visibly sighed at the sight of me. She walked up and and
said gruffly, “Ready?” I told her I was more than ready.
The rest of the transaction proceeded in a hurried and impersonal manner, as if she’d rather
be doing anything else. Of course she was obliged to ask if I found everything alright and I told
her about my experience. Erin sighed again, directing me to the company website, her voice
showing a decided lack of empathy.
I left the store feeling like OfficeMax employees, and by extension OfficeMax itself could care
less whether I was a customer or not. Maybe that’s true.
And the hits keep on coming…
Now add this to my wife’s experience with their copy counter the night before. She belongs to
a local artist collective and they needed 600 fliers printed. They requested that the fliers be
printed on colored paper, to which the employee responded that each unit of colored paper
was $.59 each. Not color copies mind you, black and white copies on colored paper. My wife
and her colleague pointed out that the price seemed exorbitant (over $350), but the employee
apparently shrugged her shoulders and said that’s what it cost. No reasoning would sway her.
Instead of going through the hassle of dealing with managers or customer service, my wife
decided to go across the street to Kinko’s. They got the job done with no trouble whatsoever,
for 1/4 the price quoted by OfficeMax’s employee. This could have been a great opportunity

for OfficeMax to connect with a thriving local community organization but instead Kinko’s
gets the business.
Treating people as transactions will destroy your business
OfficeMax has at least three problems here that Local Businesses can learn from:
1.Transactional Thinking Loses in the Long Term – If all OfficeMax cares about are single
transactions, then what they are doing in Tacoma works fine for the moment. But, if they want
to maximize the lifetime value of each customer, they must take into account the long term
relationship. The future will rely on businesses cultivating relationships into friendships, and
no one wants to be a friend with someone who uses them.
2.Not Hiring the Right People for the Job – It’s an employer’s market out there, find
employees that care. This is interesting to me since the only advantages OfficeMax has over
internet competitors are immediate gratification and quality of in-person service (i.e.
cultivating a relationship with the customer).
3.Breaking Promises - OfficeMax has a large sign at the entrance saying they guarantee
satisfaction. If you guarantee anything, you need to be able to deliver in the moment. Erin, the
OfficeMax employee, should have been authorized to do whatever she could to make it right.
Every business should promise a better story for their customers. Failing to provide that,
every business should have in place a way to immediately correct the situation. In this case, if
OfficeMax does have such a policy but Erin was unwilling to waste her time with helping a
customer, they should see #2.
Am I just being too sensitive?
You might simply read this as me complaining, and to a degree you would be correct. I was
peeved at the small things, annoyed at being treated like I didn’t matter.
The thing is, you have been in my shoes. We have all experienced that moment of annoyance
when the salesperson won’t go out of their way to help, or someone tries to sell us the extra
feature that we obviously don’t need. The time will come when that is all it takes to lose a
customer forever.
There is so much more at stake
There are two worldviews at war here; the view of the customer as the transaction, as an
inhuman number to meet a sales goal v.s. viewing the customer as a friend and cultivating

relationships with each person that visits your place of business.
Every business must make a choice. Will you follow the old way, trying to make customers
cogs in your sales engine? Or will you connect with them and cultivate quality relationships,
turning into lasting friendships? The choice is yours.
Questions
How can you avoid this in your own business?
Do your customers have these kinds of experiences? Are you sure? If not, why don't you know
and what can you do to fix that?
Is Giving a Discount Actually Costing You Business?
Discounting your products and services is not unlike paying people to be friends with you.
They never stick around if you don’t pay up.
Discounts actively kill relationships
Discounts are a bad habit for both the business and the customer because they lead to an
unhealthy relationship. The business is artificially setting the customer’s pricing expectations
lower. So later, if the price is higher, the customer feels disappointed like they’ve been
cheated.
No customer will stay in a relationship that’s perpetually disappointing.
Creating disappointment is one major reason for the backlash against Groupon and
LivingSocial’s business strategies. When you sacrifice value in the beginning of the
relationship (i.e. tell customers that your goods aren’t worth as much as you regularly charge),
they won’t believe you later when you tell them the value is worth much more.
The customer’s expectations have already been set, and the discounting business has trained
them to equate value with price. In the end no one is happy.
Why not give more and increase the pie?
Instead of lowering prices or discounting, it’s better to find a way to add on and give gifts. The
relational benefits of giving more far outweigh the minimal short term boost of discounting.
But base your gifts on the relationship
Give gifts based on where you are in the relationship. Like in the beginning of any budding
relationship, it’s always customary to give small gifts that mean something to the other party.
So find small ways to celebrate your new relationship. If the client extends the relationship, by

referring or showing loyalty, they should get a small gift.
These simple gestures will cultivate the quality relationships your business needs to stay
afloat. And they are MUCH cheaper than discounts in the long run.
Think of alternatives to discounts, what can you add?
In addition to relationship gifts, have something around that costs you very little but will
mean the world to your customers and clients. You should never underestimate the power of
the random gift. Gifts are always that much more enjoyable when they are unexpected.
So, if someone asks for a discount in the future, tell them “No! But…” then give them the small
but meaningful gift that you prepared for them. The gift is always much more appreciated.
Questions
Are you addicted to giving discounts?
What can you give instead? What can you add to your customer's life that would be
meaningful to them, but relatively inexpensive for you?

Embrace the Conflict, Love the Conflict
I was recently talking to a friend about “buy local” campaigns. He’s extremely passionate
about all things local and was making his case for buying from local businesses.
Only one problem.
While he was passionate about the idea, I really didn’t feel anything.
What I mean is this; when he spoke about buying local I felt no passion in myself to run out
and support local businesses. It sounded like a good idea intellectually but the only passion I
felt was coming from him.
Inside me, there was only very calm and placid agreement that we should do something soon.
I knew that even this agreement would soon fade into forgetfulness. That’s because the
concept of “buying local” is only focused on solutions and benefits.
We usually focus on the benefits
I told him to stop talking about the solution (Buy Local) or the benefits (better neighborhoods,
more local businesses, more local jobs). When people hear about “Better Communities” they
are pleasantly supportive but hardly motivated or inspired.
To motivate people to action, you need to add conflict.

Conflict gets attention
Writing a slogan or tag line is just like writing a story. Whenever you are telling a story, it has
to begin with conflict. Something happens to motivate the main character to take action. That
something is conflict.
Think of the customer as the “character”. Now, where is the conflict? Why would they need to
take action? Why would people NEED to buy local?
If I designed a Buy Local tag line, it would go something like this
“We’re all in this boat together. Buy Local.”
Put it on every poster, bumper sticker, and button in every business you can. That story will
start to spread throughout the community and soon enough the “In This Together, Buy Local”
story will become their story.
First the Conflict, then the Solutions & Benefits
The key to the story is to first show the reader a REAL problem for them (“We are all in this
together and if one falls, we all fall; we have to have each others back or we’re all dead”) and
THEN you give them a solution (“But if you buy local, then we can avert this disaster”). The
beginnings of a great story are in place and people can sense when a good story is brewing.
If the Story is boring, add in some conflict
Conflict solves most problems in advertising, marketing, or writing. If you are designing a
campaign, a flier, or or just trying to come up with a cool slogan, conflict will be the key.
Remember to tell it like a story and include a healthy dose of conflict to grab your audience’s
attention.

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