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The Do’s and Don’ts of Entering a Relationship

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Entering a Relationship

Stephen M. Robinson
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Contents
That perfect relationship
Finding that special someone
So you’ve found that special someone?
The Dos and Don’ts
*Bonus Chapter*
Dos and Don’ts of Texting in Relationships
Being unfaithful
If it doesn’t work out
Enjoy

That perfect
relationship

We’ve all dreamt of it at some point or another.
Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then
spending the rest of your lives together happily
ever after. OK you can wake up now. I’m not
saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that
then someone needs to tell me the secret. No
relationship forms and lasts without its fair share
of hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the
relationship stronger. But sometimes it can blow
the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream
you once had. That’s why it’s important to get
things off to a good start from the word go.
The perfect relationship would consist of 100%
trust, amazing communication and openness, the

desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects
of each other’s lives and to support each other
through anything that life throws at you. This can
happen. It just takes the right start.
I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of
the book, so prepare yourself for that. But let’s
face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many
people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet
important challenge so they need to be told. If you
keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting
what you’re getting…right?
Unfortunately there are countless factors that
contribute to how every individual behaves in a
relationship so the perfect relationship would be
pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one. But
don’t give up, relationships can be amazing.
Finding that special
someone

Ok this section isn’t going to be long, firstly
because it’s not always the best idea to be
searching to find a special someone and secondly
the actual dating process is a whole different book.
But what I would like to say is that there’s no harm
in being picky. Knowing what you want is one of
the most important things to entering a successful
relationship, or any other venture you face in life.
It’s knowing what you want that keeps you striving
to achieve your best and not settling for second
best. If you want someone rich, someone with

black hair, someone who makes you laugh then
don’t stop until you have that. Fortunately love
doesn’t tend to happen when someone meets a
certain criteria that we set, it usually happens when
someone fills us with positive emotions and we
become addicted to that feeling. Be picky, but
don’t be logical. Logic has no place in actual
romance and never will do. You hear countless
love stories where the poor, ugly nice guy
eventually gets the girl, or the girl who’s just
looking for a sensible man keeps falling in love
with the bad boys. This is because our emotions
over-ride any logical thoughts we have when it
comes to falling for someone.
Another reason I don’t advise searching for that
special someone is because coming from the
mentality that you want to find love puts you in a
vulnerable place. You will be more likely to let
your guard down when you meet someone who
could potentially be someone you like, and you
will let yourself fall for someone that normally you
wouldn’t fall for. Let’s look at a ‘hypothetical’
scenario. There are two boys that have grown up
together (could just as well be girls) and they have
been friends all their lives. They grew up playing
together on the street, riding their bicycles and
pulling pranks on other kids. As they start to get
older they start to feel attraction for other people
and start to act on this. Now one boy falls in love
with the first girl that he has any romantic

connection with. He has that ideal teenage
relationship that you see in the movies, and it ends
up lasting the rest of his life. This is great, and
extremely romantic. Let’s see what happened to his
friend. His friend ended up getting into a few
romantic connections with various girls. He
decided that whilst he is young he doesn’t want a
committed relationship in case it holds him back in
life before he achieves all of his goals. OK this
isn’t really very romantic, and a few readers will
be thinking “playaaa” but that’s not quite the
picture I’m trying to paint. Let’s say he hasn’t had
any one night stands, he takes his time to get to
know girls and he’s very honest about not wanting
relationships with them. Then whilst he is living
his life, meeting girls and having fun he finds
himself extremely confused. There’s a girl he’s
seeing that has really captured his heart. He just
can’t stop thinking about her and she’s exactly
what he would want if he wanted to settle down
with someone. He knows this because he has
experienced many romantic connections with
various girls so he knows the things he likes in a
girl and the things he doesn’t like.
Anyway he pushes these feelings into the back of
his mind because he still feels that he’s young and
doesn’t want a relationship. But the feelings
persist. He keeps seeing the girl and starts to
become overwhelmed by the feelings he has for
her. He still feels like he doesn’t want a

relationship but the feelings he has are so strong
that he’s starting to change his mind. Eventually the
feelings become that strong that they change what
he has believed all of his life, and he decides to
enter a committed relationship with this girl
because she is exactly what he wants in a girl and
the feelings he has for her are so intense.

Now I’ll let you be the judge of which path was
more romantic, but which path do you think will
lead to the more stable, secure relationship?
So you’ve found that
special someone?

Right, here I’m going to assume that you’ve found
someone you genuinely really like, are attracted to
and starting a romantic relationship with. This isn’t
for someone who’s found that person and wants to
learn the secrets to attracting them, like I said
that’s for another book.

There are certain do’s and don’ts that can make or
break a relationship that many people just don’t
realise. The repercussions of actions and words in
the early stages of a relationship can manifest
themselves in a relationship for as long as it lasts;
which can lead to some very unhappy couples. I’m
going to write this so it applies for both females
and males as much as possible, but where things
are different for each I will separate them and

write a part for females and a part for males…
The Dos and Don’ts

1. DON’T give in to your urges all the time –
When you’re in a new relationship, it can kind of
take over your life. You don’t stop thinking about
them all the time, and you have those butterflies in
your stomach whenever something reminds you of
them. This is great, and a good sign that things are
going well for you.
It’s a little bit like where you were a kid at
Christmas and you got that one toy that was so
much better than all your other presents. You just
wanted to play with that toy and that toy only,
forgetting you even had any other presents…
especially that jumper that was 2 sizes too big that
your grandma got you! Well do you also remember
how quickly you got bored of that toy because you
didn’t play with anything else? Well it’s time to
grow up.
You need to pace your relationship as best you
can. You might want to see your new partner every
minute of the day, and chances are they feel the
same. But you can’t do this because it will ruin the
fun, excitement and mystery. Those early days
when you’re still learning new things about each
other won’t last forever, but if they’re over to
quickly then things could become stale fast. As bad
as it sounds, you don’t want to give too much away
too quickly. Now I am all for being 100% honest

and open in a relationship, I would advise no other
way. But in those very early stages I do believe
that keeping some of yourself locked away for later
isn’t always a bad idea.
Mystery is attractive, exciting and key to building
that passion and desire that a relationship needs. If
you ever hear a new partner say something along
the lines of “you’re just so mysterious” then you’re
doing it right!

2. DO keep spending time with your friends – I
don’t want to dwell on this because there are so
many relationship books that talk for hours about
how important it is to spend time with your friends.
Yeah, great…but what about when I’m with my
partner? What do I do then? The reason it’s
important is firstly because like in number 1, you
can’t see each other all the time. But secondly it’s
because your friends are just as important, and
they’ll be the ones who are there for you if things
don’t work out…so show them some respect. Time
with your friends keeps you social, and keeps your
self confidence up. Assuming you have good
friends, they’ll give you confidence in all aspects
of your life, including romance and therefore
improve your relationship. You also want to make
sure your relationship with your friends is good,
because there will come a time when they are
going to meet your new partner and you want them
to be willing to make an effort with your partner.

This will make your partner feel more comfortable
around your friends and this will ease any tension
that had a potential to arise.
You’ll also want to make sure that when the time
comes, you make a lot of effort to be polite and
friendly towards your partner’s friends and family.
The amount of uncomfortable situations that can
come of their friends or family not liking you is
unlimited…so be nice!



3. DO make time for me – Ok so we’ve discussed
not seeing each other all the time and making sure
you spend time with your friends, and now I’m
telling you to spend time alone too? So do you get
to spend ANY time with your new partner?? Well
of course, I’m just getting these out of the way now
because they are often overlooked.
Me time is something that isn’t always talked much
about in relationship advice books, and I believe
that this is asking for disaster. You personal time is
so important. It’s just as important as time with
your new partner and time with your friends. Now
some readers might be thinking “well I don’t like
being on my own.” This is time to change that. You
need to be able to enjoy your own company for
others to enjoy it! Time on your own can be when
you really find out who you are. I’m not just talking
about spending time at home on your own watching

films as to be honest I think that’s much more
enjoyable when you’re with a partner or with
friends. I’m talking about self improvement and
pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
You could spend your time alone watching TV and
sitting in bed, if you choose to and you genuinely
enjoy doing that on your own. But I’ve found that
when it comes to improving relationships, if a
person spends their alone time improving
themselves in different areas then they will become
a much more loveable and happy person in their
relationship.
Ways to improve yourself are endless. If you are
studying for anything, then study it and learn all you
can about that topic. If you aren’t currently studying
for anything then find something you’ve always
been interested in and study it.
If you have a hobby that you love, or that you used
to love then bring it back into your life and spend
time doing it. Improve the skills you already have
or learn new skills. Improving yourself and
growing as a person improves every area of your
life. My Book “Important Lessons for True
Happiness: Live Your Life” gives you activities to
do every week to reach your goals and become the
person you want to be. You can find it here:
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4. Don’t have arguments over text message – this is
so important in the modern world. So important in-

fact that I have a whole chapter on texting do’s and
don’ts that I am going to include in this book.

5. Do be yourself – what I mean by this is do stay
the way you are as a person. I believe everyone
should have strong values and morals, and these
can’t change just because you’ve entered a new
relationship. If you don’t have any particular
morals and values already, then I strongly suggest
you take some time to yourself and work out what
you find important in life.
Values are the things that you see as the most
important to you. It varies in everyone. Some
people value material possessions very highly
whereas other people might not see them as being
as important as other things. It doesn’t matter what
your values are, it just matters that you know what
they are. You need to have a passion, a drive to
keep and get all things that align with your values
in your life. If you value your family, you need to
make sure you are close to them. If you value
money, you need to make sure you’re working hard
and getting the money that you want. When you’re
passionate about your values you become
passionate about getting the things that you want
out of life. You get drive, you’ll work hard for
things and not only will this improve your life but
it will make you a much more attractive person to
others and you your relationships will kick off to a
great start.

One good way to define your values is to set some
goals. There are hundreds of goal setting
techniques out there that are all extremely
intelligent so here are my top tips for setting goals
that will help you develop a strong drive and
maximise your chances of achieving them:

#1 Physically write your goals down, and put
them where you can see them
The act of physically writing your goals down
does a lot inside of your brain subconsciously that
can trigger action a lot quicker than just keeping
them inside your head. It re-affirms them and then
having them where you can see them means they
will be on your mind a lot of the time. Remember;
we become what we think.

#2 Get yourself emotionally involved when you
write your goals out
For every goal, you need to think why you want it.
What has made you decide that this is something
you want? If it’s just a small goal, like passing a
test, why do you want it? Will it help you in the
long run? Will it make people proud? Think about
whether achieving this goal would affect other
people. If passing a test would make someone
close to you proud then that can only add to your
motivation to achieve that goal. If your goal is un-
selfish, and you’re just trying to help someone else
out then think why you want to help them. What

does that person mean to you? What would it mean
to them if you achieve this? You really have to get
inside of your body and feel that emotion. It will
create a huge sense of passion inside you to reach
your goals.

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