Tư vấn tâm lý giáo dục tiền học đường cho trẻ một số ca thực chứng và khuyến nghị dành cho phụ huynh

JOURNAL OF SCIENCE OF HNUE
Interdisciplinary Sci., 2014, Vol. 59, No. I, pp. 146-151

TU VAN TAM LY- GIAO DUG TIEN HOC DUONG CHO TRE
MOT S 6 CA THUC CHLTNG VA K H U v i N NGHI DANH CHO PHU HUYNH

Tran Thi Le Thu
Khoa Tdm li Gido due, Trudng Dai hpc Su pham Hd Npi
Tom tat. Bai bao neu bat vai ird, lira quan Uong va y nghia cua tU vln tam Ii giao due cho tre tudi lien hpc dudng. Tap trung phSn tich, tdng kit bai hpc kinh
nghiem qua 13 ca tu van tam li - giao due liln hoc dudng cho tre; minh hpa bang
mot ca thUc chflng cu the. Bai bao ciing nen ro nhflng khd khan, trd ngai tam Ii ma
phu huynh va tre tudi tien tieu hoc thudng gap phai. Tren cd sd nhflng dfl lieu thuc
chflng nay, tac gia dl xull mdt sd khuyin nghi danh cho phu huynh trong linh vUc
lam li - giao due liln hpc dudng cho tre,
TUkhda: Tu van tam li - giao due nln hoc dudng, kho khan tSm Ii, thuc chflng, bai
hpc kinh nghiem, ure luoi tien hpc dudng.

1. Md dau
CJ giai doan cudi tuoi mlu giao Idn, trong tam hdn thd be khong it dfla tie "vd mdng"
nhflng lai khdng bilt ndi thi nao de ba me, thay cd va ngfldi Idn xung quanh hieu. Tham
chi nhieu dfla tre vln dang trong tinh trang chfla bao gid thich trfldng mlu giao, vay ma
mdt lan nfla ap Iflc hoc hanh va ndi lo sd tdi trfldng lieu hoc lai bat dlu nhen nhflm, bat
dau ddi vao dfla tre. cau hdi dat ra la ngudi Idn chung ta cd chiu Iang nghe va hieu tam
hdn tre, hieu tre tdi rafle can hieu khdng? Mdi kJii con dm, cd vln dk vl the chat, chflng ta
can than'dfla vao benh vien, tai benh vien, bac si kham rat can than rdi mdi kit luan tinh
trang benh va ke ddn thudc; thi nhung moi khi con co trd ngai vl hpc hanh, ve tSm li, vl
tri tue hinh nhu chflng ta deu tu bang kinh nghiem chu quan de danh gia, phan xet va trd
giflp. Rat cd the kinh nghiem va dlu dc khai quat hda cua chung ta lai khdng dung, va khi
dd chflng ta vd tinh day tre lam vao tinh trang tdi te hdn thay vi trd giup va giao due cac
con dung hudng.
Bai viet nay - thdng qua tong kit nhflng ca thflc chflng nham tfl vln tam ly - giao

due liln hpc dudng cho tre va dua ra mot vai khuyin nghi hflu ich cho phu huynh cd con
trong dp tudi den trudng.
Ngay nhan bar 22/11/2013 Ngay nhan dang- 15/1/2014
Lien he: Tran Thi Le Thu. e-mail; lhulel509@gmail com


Tu vdn torn h. gmo due tiin hoc dudng cho tre - ,„d, .rd ca tliuc chiing...

2. Noi dung nghien ciiu
2,1. 13 ca thirc chiing
2.1.1.

H^i ciru mot ca- "con cang th^ng va lo JSng"
a. Bdi cdnh va Hnh trang ban ddu

hTc dUdng)

' ""' " ' " ' ° '

" ' ' ' "'' ' ' ' " "^^ '^ '""^ ^' "^^S tinh riln

3- 4 tuln gin thdi diem tim gap nha tu vln chau trd nen trim hdn. it ndi it hoat
t^U,r?^T
*'!?- K ' - ^ I " ! ; ^ ' ' ^ ^ ' ' '^''^^ ^^^."'" "^^y ^ ^ *^^" ^^ hay phan flng manh
vdi ngUdi than. Dac biel khi bd me, dng ba nhac chau vao ban lam "bai lap" i6 chfl, chau
khong vui/khdng hao hflng; chau vao ban ngdi mien cuOng va cd the ngdi lam Ji d ban idi
20- 25 phut va khdng to gi ca. 6 ldp, chau thudng lilp thu va id chfl cham hdn em gai,
cham hdn cac ban.
Chau cung td ra khdng thich thu vdi viec din trudng ralm non nfla, chau ludn ngd
xem khi tdi trUdng me cd ndi chuyen hoac trao ddi gi vdi cd giao mara non khdng. Chau

td ra khdng thich khi thly me ndi gi dd vdi ed.
Gia dinh rlt lo Iang ve viec hpc cfla chau, sd chau bi cham phat trien hay cd van dl
gi dd ve tri tue, gia dinh tira gap nha tam H de mong dupe danh gia xem chau cd van dl gi
ve tri tue khdng???
b. Ddnh gid
Trao ddi, tilp xuc vdi gia dinh chau, qua danh gia Idi xac dinh dfldc nhflng nhan td
tac dpng gay nen sfl thay ddi va phan flng cua chau ddi vdi viec "id chfl": ddi vdi ngfldi
than, cha me, giao vien va trUdng mim non.
Cudc sdng trUdc dd cua be trai nay vdn diln ra rlt era dep, idi thdi diem bit dlu
hpc sd, chfl, tap td chau cung ddng thdi bit dau lo Iang va cang thing, cd the do. (I) Chau
chua thai san sang va chua hflng thU vdi viec hpc sd, td chfl: vi trudc do chau chua dUdc
trd giflp gi d nhflng ky nang cd ban lam nln tang cho nhflng ky nang cd bat dau day; do
vay chau rlt khd khan khi cam bflt va to,...; (2) Chau co cham hdn mdt chut so vdi lfla tudi
ve vl ky nang van ddng tinh ndi chung; (3) Chau ludn phai nghe ldi so sanh ciia cd giao.
dng ba va bd me vdi era gai: "cau nay khdng bang em gai, chua lam xong bai. cham lam,
khdng biet tUdng lai thi nao, khdng bill sau nay cd hoc dupc khdng. v.v"; (4) Cung vdi
ldi so sanh chau cam nhan dupc ndi lo, su than phien cua cd giao, ciia ca nha thdng qua
bieu cam ngdn ngfl va phi ngdn ngfl kha nhilu, kha manh me va rd rang; (5) O ldp chau
dan thieu tU tin, sd cd giao, sd gid td va gid hpc so/chfl; (6) 6 nha bat dlu ghet em gai,
ghel ngfldi than vi bat chau hpc. vi lam chau "flc chl"; (7) Chau la chau trudng nen chiu


Tran Thi Le Thu
ap lUc Idn tfl ky vpng cua dng ba, cha me vao chau. Bd chau cho biet "dng ba lo lam, sd
chau la chau dich tdn ma tri tue kem cdi!". ludn nhac nhd bd me chau phai day chau nhieu
hdn; (8) Nhin thly cd giao, thly em, thay nhflng gi lien quan tdi hpc chfl, td, sd... Ia cam
giac that bai, buon, xau hd, tu ti... lai da vao tam hdn chau.
Qua danh gia tdi cung nhan thly: Me chau la mot can bp nha nUdc, bd chau cung
la giao vien vi vay anh chi cd so sanh chau vdi con cai cua ddng nghiep, vdi cac ban cung
ldp, vdi anh chi era trong gia dinh.... cua chau ; va ndi lo cua anh chi. cua dng ba ngay mot

tang len. Dac biet giao vien d Idp chUa hieu sau vl chau (nang lUc, hflng thfl, sd thich, ky
nang,...). ChUdng trinh day d Idp chua phu hpp vdi chau, each trao ddi va giao tilp cua gia
dinh vdi cd giao chua phu hdp; each phe binh, than philn cua me vl chau cung la mot ap
Iflc Idn ddi vdi chau (vi khi than phien chau me ndi ring: co giao bao ..).
Tdi danh gia va xac dinh thly chau chfla dfldc ai thau hieu. chfla dflpc trd giup va
hfldng dan dung each. Chau bi cd lap va lac long trong the gidi day ap thach thflc (bai tap
khd so vdi kha nang cua chau). mac cara, nhilu that bai so vdi em gai - chau thflc sfl dang
rlt cang thang va lo Iang. Chau khdng bilt ndi ra va giai thich sfl lo Iang, cang thing cua
minh; vi thi chau chi cd the ne tranh hoac phan flng raanh vdi nhflng nhan td gay cang
thang va lo Iang cho chau.
c. Tu vdn tdm li- gido due
Tdi da phan tich de bd chau hieu ve tinh trang cfla chau nhu toi nhan dinh va danh
gia d tren. Bd chau Iang nghe toi va radi doan phan ti'ch ciia tdi bd chau deu dap lai'
"Dung nhu thi cd a! Vay em nen lam gi bay gid? Thfldng chau qua! Dung la do gia dinh
em khdng hieu chau! Chau khdng bi sao vl tri tue ha cd?...".
Tdi da tfl vln va trao ddi vdi bd chau vl each hieu tam li, tri tue cfla chau, ve each
dieu chinh flng flng xfl va giao due cua ca gia dinh, cua giao vien ddi vdi chau. Tdi khuyen
anh chfla cln phai danh gia sau hoac kiera tra gi ve tri tue cua chau; dilu cln lam la mpi
ngfldi xung quanh phai hieu chau trfldc va cd each flng xfl, hfldng din, giao due phu hdp
kha nang cfla chau.
Bd chau hdp tac vdi tdi rlt hieu qua. Anh da ddng y ndi chuyen vdi cac thanh vien
trong gia dinh de rapi ngudi dlu hieu chau, hieu kha nang cua chau, hieu sU cang thang
va lo ling cfla chau hien nay. Khdng ai than philn, so sanh chau vdi em, vdi ban, khdng ai
td ra buon hay that vpng ve chau nfla. Ca nha hfldng din chau tfl tfl, tflng bfldc mdt; ddng
thdi khen, khuyen khich va ddng vien chau trong tflng tien bd nho; so sanh chau cua ngay
hdm nay vdi chinh chau ngay hdm qua- vui vi tflng bfldc tien bd cua chau.
Tdi tu vln anh nen trao ddi vdi vd va giao vien day chau: khdng nen ndi nhilu vl
nhflng gi chau chua lam dUdc, khdng nen d dau cung "cdng khai hda" va nhlc chau ve
nhflng gi chau chua dat dUdc; trao doi vdi cd giao de dua ra hoat ddng va bai hpc phii hdp;
hudng dan chau tfl tfl, dung each, ap dung chien Iflpc khuyin khich hieu qua vdi chau.

Tdi cung khang dinh tinh yeu va sU quan tam, lo ling cua gia dinh, cua giao vien
cflng la vi tfldng lai cua chau; tdi cdng nhan linh yeu va sfl quan tam cua ba me chau, cd
giao va dng ba danh cho chau. Dong thdi tdi tfl vln de tinh yeu va sfl quan tam nay phu
hdp, mang lai ldi ich trflc tiep ddi vdi sfl phat trien tam li, tri tue cua chau hien nay va
148


Tu vdn ldm li - gido due lien hoc dudng cho tre - mdl sd ca thuc cluing...
trong tUdng lai.
d. Kit qua
Tdi xin mUdn ldi phan hdi cua bd chau de ndi ve kit qua - bd chau cam dn tdi thi
nay sau hai thang: "Cd di, be trai nha em tiln bd rd ret cd a. Chau bay gid tu tin va hoc tdt
chang khac gi em cua minh. Cam on cd da cho em Idi khuyen bd ich vl each giao due va
flng xfl vdi chau." (em T 5/6/2013),
Ket qua nay la sfl nd Iflc cfla bd chau, su ddng thuan cua ca gia dinh. giao vien trong
each hd trd va hieu dung vl chau.
2.1.2.

Tong ket kinh nghiem 13 ca tfl van

Ngoai ca cu the tdi hdi cdn tdm tat d tren, tdi cung da thUc hien tham vln va tri lieu
13 ca khac (tfl thang 1 nam 2011 din thang 9 nam 2013) danh cho phu huynh va cac con
5- 6 tudi. Tdi xin tdng kit ngan gon nhflng thdng tin chung, dang chfl y qua cac ca nay.
a. Van di chinh cua cdc con md ba me cdn trp giup
Qua cac ca tdi da thuc hien tu vln, nhflng van dl chinh thudng gap d Ire ma ba me.
gia dinh lo ling- cln tU van la. (I) Vl tap trung chu y; cac con khdng tap trung vao bai
hpc (tilt hpc ky nang tiln hpc dudng d trudng mim non). (2) Cd giao than phien: rlt khd
hfldng din td net, td chfl va sd; con khdng nhd dupc tren 1/2 cac chu/sd cd day (3; Con
khdng hoc dupe, khdng theo kip cac ban d ldp vl cac bai luyen de thi vao mdt IrUdng tieu
hpc ba me ky vpng. (4) Con rlt sd di hoc them tiln lieu hpc. hoc id so, td net. td chfl.

Bao di hpc la khdc. (5) Con phan flng dfl dpi khi gia dinh nhac ngdi vao ban hoc (td sd.
Id chfl,...); con lien tuc ndi "con ghet hoc". (6) Con lo sp, cang thing va khdc khi chuan
bi dl kiem tra vao ldp I. (7) Mot sd gia dinh cho con di hpc trfldc chfldng trinh ldp 1. con
khong theo kip da sd ban d ldp hpc ihera, diem thap nen con sp va khdng thich den ldp
hpc tilp. (8) Thi trfldt ky Ihi vao ldp 1 d mot trUdng nao dd. con cang thing mdi khi ndi
tdi kiem tra hoac den trudng hpc.
b. Van de cua ba me vd gia dinh lien quan tdi con
0 mdt sd ca tu van, ngoai van dl cua tre, tdi cung nhan thly gia dinh cac chau cung
cd nhflng mau thuan, bat ddng trong viec giao due tre d dd tudi lien hpc dudng; nhflng
van de chu yeu la: (I) Mau thuan trong chon trfldng, chon ldp cho con, khdng thdng nhai
trong gia dinh, (2) Mau thuan trong viec cd nen day trfldc chfl va sd cho con khdng? Cd
nen day trfldc chudng trinh tieu hpc cho con? (3) Mlu thuln trong viec Ihuc hien thdng
nhat mot thdi gian bieu cho tre. (4) Lo ling vi con thi vao trudng tieu hoc nao ma gia dinh
chon con cung "trupt". (5) Lo ling vi con vao trUdng tieu hoc cd cdn dUdc cham sdc idi
nhu d trudng mam non.
c. Nguyen nhdn chinh gay nen nhiing vdn de khd khdn tdm li ciia tre d dp tuoi
tiin tieu hpc
Cd the cd nhieu nguyen nhan chu quan va khach quan gay nen khd khan tam li giao due cfla tre, dfldi day la mdl sd nguyen nhan: (I) Cac con khdng dfldc hieu- ba me.
ngfldi than, cd giao chfla hieu tam li. ky nang va linh trang hien thdi cua con: chua ihUc su
lam ban vdi con. (2) Mdi tre cd tdc dp. nhip dp va ban chit phat trien khac nhau- nhung
149


Tran Thi Le Thu
gia dinh ludn raang ra so sanh vdi mot ban cu the va tao ap lUc cho tre. (3) Ky vpng con
thi dUdc vao trudng tieu hoc nay, np,...- muc tieu la vi gia dinh chfl khdng xem xet tdi kha
nang va tara 11 cfla tre. (4) Qua lo ling cho tUdng lai cua con nen gay ap Iflc cho con. (5)
Chfla sfl dung dflng nhflng chfldng trinh, nhflng chien lUdc phat trien ky nang tien tieu
hpc danh cho tre mam non. (6) Chu ylu thuc hien giao due theo kinh nghiem va tinh tu
phat; tham chi nhilu cha me gop nhat, nghe ngdng kmh nghiem tfl du Iuan xa hpi (bao

chi, trang raang xa hdi. v.v.) nhflng thilu tfl duy phe phan nen ap dung sai cho con.
d. Xu hudng tiep can trong can thiep/tu vdn
TU van cd kit qua d 13 ca chu yeu tap trung vao md hinh can thiep tich hdp va loan
dien trong tam li hpc trfldng hpc. Cach tilp can can thiep nay mang tinh tdng the, bao gdm
3 hfldng chinh: hd trp/tri lieu cho tre, tfl vln cho gia dinh (bd me, ong ba, cd chfl, ngfldi
giflp viec...). tfl van danh cho giao vien cua tre (giao vien d trUdng mim non, giao vien
day them tiln tieu hoc/tieu hpc).
Tuan thu cac nguyen tac dao dflc nghl, thflc hien cac chiln lUdc va ky thuat can
thiep trUc tilp, gian tilp tren nen tang cua xu hfldng can thiep tich hdp va hdi nhap. dieu
chinh hfldng can thiep phu hpp vdi tre, vdi gia dinh tre va vdi mdi trUdng Idp hoc tre dang
tham gia,
Tilp can can thiep theo hUdng tich hdp va hpi nhap nay cdn dac biet chu y tdi tinh
van hda vung railn, chfl y tdi dac diem ca nhan, sinh thai cua mdi than chu.

2.2.

Mot so y kien de xuat v6i cac bac phu huynh

Chflng ta sinh ra, Idn len va di hoc rlt nhilu, hpc de lam viec va duy tri nghe nghiep,
kiem sdng; hoc de lara ngudi, sdng hai hda trong xa hpi, tuy nhien chung ta cd khi quen
rait phai hpc kiln thflc va ky nang lam chdng/lam vd, dac biet la ky nang lam cha/Iam
me, lam dng va lam ba.
Tai san Idn nhlt cua chung ta la con cai, chau chat vay ma thdi gian chung ta danh
cho con hinh nhfl ludn it hdn danh cho cdng viec, Xa hpi cang hien dai va phflc tap bao
nhieu, cang ddi hdi chung ta de tam tdi tre bly nhieu.
Tfl nhflng phan tich va tdng kit kinh nghiem 13 ca tfl vln d tren tdi cd mot vai
khuyin nghi danh cho cha rae va gia dinh cua tre (dp tudi tiln tieu hpc) nhU sau: (I) Tfl
minh hoc hdi (hoac tim cac tai lieu, khda hpc) ve tam li, tri tue cua con (cua tre cm lfla
tudi nay), cln Iflu y hpc hdi tfl ngudn tai lieu, tfl lieu dang tin cay (tranh cac ngudn tai lieu
va bao chi "la cai"), (2) Tira hieu nhdm kiln thflc va ky nang tien hpc dfldng ma tre nen

dfldc chuan bi va ren luyen trong nhflng nam mim non, dac biet la nam raau giao Idn. Lfla
chon ndi dung va each hfldng din cac ky nang tiln hoc dfldng phu hpp vdi dac diem tam
sinh ly cua con minh (3) Tranh ep tre thflc hien nhflng gi raa rainh nghi la tdt va dung:
nen dua vao tinh trang tam li, tri tue, sflc khoe the chit cfla con trudc khi quylt dinh con
nen hpc gi, dfldc day gi, vao hoc trfldng/ldp nao.(4) Cha me nen hieu giai doan chuyen
vao tieu hpc cua tre la giai doan chuyen dan tfl hoat ddng chdi la chu ylu sang hpc la chii
dao, qua trinh nay hit sflc tfl tfl, khdng nen ddn dap, ep budc. (5) Phong ngfla trudc hdi
chflng "cang thing", "vd mdng", "sp trfldng hpc", "gia benh",.. d con bang each chuan bi
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Tu vdn tdm li - gido due lien hpc dudng cho ire - mot sd ca thuc chitng ..
tam thi cho chau trfldc khi vao tieu hpc (tam li - xfle cam, tinh cam, y chi va sinh ly). (6)
c l n tao quan he ddng minh, ddng thuan tfl tit ca cac thanh vien gia dinh va giao vien d
trfldng mim non trong viec hieu va day tre (nhflng kiln thflc, ky nang tiln hoc dfldng), (7)
Khi can tfl van nen lim tdi cac chuyen gia chuyen sau ve flng dung tam li - giao due, tranh
giao due con kieu kinh nghiem thuan tfly, tfl phat, khdng ludng trfldc dupc rfli ro. (8) Gia
dinh, ba me cua tre thau hieu tam Ii, tri tue, the chat cfla con, bilt each chia se sau sic vdi
con, bilt each hudng din va giao due phu hdp vdi con... se tao nen mdt nln tang tfldng lai
vflng vang, giflp cdn tu tin trong nhilu mat cfla cupc sdng, dac biet la trong nhflng ngay
con chap chflng vao tieu hoc,

3. Ket luan
Budc chuyen giao gifla bac hoc mam non va tieu hpc la vd cung quan trpng. Thi
gidi mdng md, tudi thd tu dd vdi chdi ma hoc bat dlu khep lai din; chuyen tfl hoat dong
chu dao sang hoc, hpc la chinh va cd mot phln hpc thdng qua qua chdi.
Bai vilt nay cfla chung tdi nham tap trung (I) tdng kit kinh nghiem 13 ca tu vln (tU
1/2011- 09/ 2013), phan tich va minh hoa sau 01 ca tU vln gia dinh vl giao due tre tuoi
mlu giao Idn nhflng hieu bilt va ki nang tiln hoc dudng, chuan bi tam li cho cac con trudc
khi vao tieu hpc; (2) tren cd sd dd dua ra mot sd khuyin nghi danh cho cae bac phu huynh

cd con d tudi dau tieu hpc.
TAI LIEU THAM KHAO
[1] VdThi Minh Chi, 20il. Nghien ciiru I'atg dung tdm li hpc hpc dudng trong nhd irudng
phd thdng. De tai d p Bp, ma sd B 2009-17- 173TD. Bd Giao due & Dao tao.
[2] Trin Thi Ngoc Chuc, 2008. Cdn chuan bi nhffng gi cho tre vdo Idp 1. Nxb Tong hdp
Tp. Hd Chi Minh,
[3] Le My Dung, 2011. Khd khdn ldm li trong hoat dpng hpc lap ciia hpc sinh ueu Iwc.
De tai cap Bd, raa sd B2009- 17-180, Bd Giao due & Dao tao,
[4] Vu Ngpc Ha, 2011. Khd khdn tdm liciia hoc sinh ddu lap J. Nxb Tfl dien Bach khoa.
[5] Tran Thi Le Thu, 2011- 2013. Ho so tham vdn vd tri lieu cd nhdn - gia dinh.
ABSTRACT
Education & psychology consultation for pre-school children
- data based cases & recommendations for the parents
This article focuses on the role & the importance of education & psychology consultation for pre- school children. It also analyzes the content and -eviews the experiences
(lesson-learned) of education & psychology consultation of 13 real cases; concentrated
deeply on one concrete case. Common psychological difficulties of pre-school children
and their parents are also summarized & presented. With these data-based the author gives
some recommendations for the parents of pre-school children in the field of education &
psychology for their children.