Unemployment T.J. Seitz ppt

Unemployment

T.J. Seitz
Copyright 2011 by T.J. Seitz
Smashwords Edition
My brain is starting to play tricks on me while the second hand blindly ticks away on the
old-school analog clock hanging above my head. My thoughts wander aimlessly and I
often find myself wrestling with bizarre ideas that are hard to control. It’s entertaining at
times but can also be disturbing. I begin to wonder which Greek god I upset. Did I do
something bad in a past life that affected my Karma or is this experience nothing more
than a lesson in character building?
Being unemployed with nothing but time to burn, a large stack of bills, child support and
a monthly mortgage payment with no job prospects on the horizon really sucks. My
long days at home alone sometimes feel like a form of banishment or prison sentence,
especially when I don’t have access to a car.
I’m sitting here listening to the creepily depressing Tom Wait’s CD Swordfishtrombones.
The Recession, home foreclosures and unemployment benefit extensions litter the
news headlines of the websites I’m browsing.
The animals in the other room are annoying me with their scrapping and whining
amongst themselves. It’s too cold to go outside for a walk or do yard work.
I’m finding it very difficult to relax with endlessly random jingles from decades old TV
commercials, forgotten phone numbers and the names of games I played as a kid slam
dancing inside my head. I have books cases full of books and lots of unfinished essays
to devote myself toward. Reading and writing though involve a focus that is far too hard
for me to achieve at this moment.
Music has been very helpful at keeping me somewhat sane. It tempers my grim moods
and reminds me that I’m not alone. I’ve learned a lot about music during my longer
stints of unemployment. Listening is easier for me because it’s more passive than
writing or reading.
Trolling the CD bins of local libraries, searching for artists and genres I’m unfamiliar with
is something I am less inclined to do when I don’t have the time. I discovered some of

my most favorite albums this way. Carreg Lafar’s Hin, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s Will
The Circle Be Unbroken, the soundtrack to Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Big Mamma
Thornton are several examples of music I inadvertently stumbled upon when borrowing
materials from the library.
I’ve also been started converting all my old CD’s and tapes to data files, and then
organizing them. It’s a long drawn out process but if I want to listen to those songs on a
computer playlist or my IPOD I need to bite the bullet and do the required work.
There’s no one to talk to but myself or the dog. The cats all ignore me and the guinea
pigs only squeak in chorus if they think I’m feeding them some greens.
My wife is working and the kids are at school. The dog gives me funny looks whenever
I start to pace around, fidget, grumble and sigh because from her point of view me
being home during the day is a major change in her routine. My fiscal worries and
uncertainty mean nothing to her.
I suppose I could just bundle up, brave the cold and go for a walk. Put the IPod
headphones on and start moving I n one direction or another but then I’d feel guilty that
I’m not bringing the dog with me. Walking the dog is a pain in the ass. I want to keep
moving at one smooth and steady pace, not stop to watch her sniff, shit, piss or eat
something gross every six steps.
There are only so many online job postings I can apply for in the course of one day and
it seems like there are less of them every day. I’d make follow up phone calls to
businesses I’ve sent resumes to but those phone numbers just refer me to their website.
I feel guilty about sleeping in or taking naps because I need to find work and contribute
more to the household than clipping coupons and cooking meals. I’ve grown bored of
playing video games which can easily eat up lots of time.
Time does not matter so much when you don’t have to work. Weekends and weekdays
start to blend together. I measure it by when our kids are here. My wife and I share
custody of three our children with our ex-spouses and have all of them one half the time
in different combinations throughout the week.
Internet access might be considered an unnecessary luxury for someone in my position
but the cost is easily justified considering my wife needs it for her college classes and I

need it to find work. Most businesses today do not except unsolicited resumes for open
positions anymore, they expect interested candidates to submit everything through their
human resources management systems. Automation makes it a lot easier for hiring
managers to ignore desperate people during hard times by removing the human
element from the process.
Facebook is another timewaster I’ve recently discovered. The more friends a person
has on their page the more topic threads they can get involved with or just respond to. I
probably drive my friends crazy with all the smart ass comments I make and frequent
status changes. Who gives a crap that I need to go get gas or that I’m missing a sock?
A former boss warned me years ago about people who stay home all day and don’t
have anything productive or stimulating to occupy them-selves with. It didn’t matter if it
was a temporary situation, they were just doing it to raise their kids, if it was a man, a
woman or that the person was retired. She asserted that people always needed
something to do and interact with others outside their homes; otherwise they will start to
act weird.
I agree with her. After going for a walk a few times in the neighborhood I began to see
what she was talking about. These individuals will go out of their way to talk to you
about anything, even when you’re not interested. The topics of conversation are often
stretched pretty far too. Anything between mundane and scandalous is fair game. I’ve
heard complaints about neighborhood cats casing birds’ nests for babies, discussed
water drainage problems, how to buy children’s clothes at discount prices and had a
woman confess to me about an affair she was having. Something I didn’t really need to
know about.
Young stay at home moms are easiest to understand and socialize with because they
are mainly looking for support and a connection with other adults after spending hours
on end alone nursing, changing dirty diapers, doing loads of laundry, wiping runny
noses and picking up toys while Barney the Purple Dinosaur or the Wiggles sing in the
background. Even retired people are not so bad to talk to because they usually have
lots of interesting stories to tell about the neighborhood and their lives.
It’s the middle aged people with no children, grandchildren or spouses at home during

the day that make me feel the most uneasy. I don’t know why but it seems like they are
actively looking for others to participate in their unique flavor of crazy making and will try
to recruit anyone who is naive or polite enough to stop and acknowledge them. These
are the Mrs. Robinsons and Humbert Humberts of a neighborhood. They are the kind
of people who go grocery shopping in their bathrobes, bunny slippers, sometimes with
their hair in curlers or a baseball cap, thinking that a pair of big dark sunglasses will
disguise or make them invisible.
A persons mind can play tricks on them when they have nothing to do. To occupy itself
it will sometimes meander down unfamiliar paths and fantasize. I see how easy lots of
time and no responsibilities can lead someone towards trouble with little or no effort.
I sometimes ask myself what would happen if I just packed a bag and left everything
behind. Charging a one way plane ticket to Prague in the Czech Republic or hitchhiking
my way across the Canadian Border to Montreal. Places where no one would know
me and I could create a new life for myself. Or what would happen if I had a secret
affair with a former co-worker, no the chatty twenty-something intern at the community
center would be more fun but then I start to walk myself through all the (kinky) details
and I start to feel guilty. I couldn’t do that to my family or myself.
I know I can always do chores or bake something for dinner but that only takes a few
minutes and is not particularly pressing. Being home all the time also makes it easy to
do a little something every day leaving plenty of time to spare.
I flip through my Grandmother’s recipe cards. None the recipes look appealing to me or
I don’t have all of the listed ingredients on hand.
I start to look forward to my unemployment money or better yet an unexpected windfall
in the mail. Unfortunately, I don’t have any long lost great aunts with money and still
have about week before I can collect and use my apportioned benefit towards groceries
so in the mean time I need to just make do with what we have. That means another
dinner of rice and beans or a casserole made from a bag of egg noodles, canned
chicken and cream of mushroom soup.
Tasks like grocery shopping become much more involved and a motivating form of
entertainment when there’s not a lot of money to spend. I have the time and enjoy the

challenge.
I shop for five people in our household along with my grandmother who lives in an
assisted living complex. I try to make ends meet by using just the money I get from
unemployment and what my wife earns as a veterinary technician, only asking for
reimbursement from my grandmother when we don’t have enough money to buy her
unexpected requests for less conventional items like cat food or Fixadent. Her income
is even more limited than ours.
To save money I cut coupons, religiously return bottles for deposit money and scan the
Sunday newspaper ads for all the best deals based on a list that hangs on the
refrigerator door. Every time we run out of something or there is a food request the item
gets placed on that list for consideration.
Once a week I match coupons and sales to that list then go to Wegmans, Walmart and/
or Aldis depending where the items are cheapest. Weeks there is additional money
available in the food budget I am more liberal and purchase the entire list, other times
I’m forced to limit myself to just the bare minimum such as milk, bread, eggs and fresh
vegetables. . .
I also taught myself how to make fancy homemade breads and can stuff like apples,
pickles, salsa and jams made from produce grown in the backyard or bought in bulk at a
farmers market. I inherited all the necessary equipment from my mother and
grandmother over the years and figured that I might as well use it to help save money
and offer more of a selection at mealtimes. The processes turned out to be a lot easier
than I thought they would be.
My quarterly trips to BJ’s Warehouse help us stock up on many items. There are
always basic food ingredients like flour, potatoes, onions, canned tomatoes and soup
stock in the pantry. I just have to force myself to get creative about meals and not just
open a box. I abhor Hamburger Helper, which is all my wife knows how to cook, so it
have some incentive every day to make something healthy and flavorful.
The younger kids don’t notice a difference but the older one does. He complains and
pouts during shoestring budget weeks because there are no convenience foods like
cold cuts, limited cereal choices or bottled water. When I prepare hearty simple dinner

entrees like green beans mixed with plain pasta and olive oil or a stir fry from carrots,
celery and peas he frequently gets quote, puts on a poo-poo face and chooses to not to
eat as a form of protest. The little ones complain too but still eat what’s put in front of
them for the most part, even if they don’t really like it because they are not as stubborn.
I created a sizable list of tasks to complete within a few days after getting laid off. Over
the course of three or four days it’s been whittled down to a few things that can’t be
done until the weather warms up or a scheduled day such as going to the doctor for a
physical which I’ve been avoiding now for a few years.
The bulk of the list consisted of things my wife and I usually don’t have time to do during
the week while working a nine to five. They are jobs where we had all the components
and supplies to complete the tasks but no time to do them like updating obsolete light
fixtures and replacing a broken storm door. I figured that we saved between seven
hundred and one thousand dollars easily by me doing the work instead of paying a
repair person. Even the stuff we needed to buy was covered by several gift certificates
we got for wedding gifts last summer.
I guess to escape myself and find stable employment I will need to reinvent myself.
Times have changed and so has the job market. I have to start highlighting my
universal skills and formal education when searching for work not necessarily relying on
my past experience in IT.
I had such a secure job situation for so long that I began to identify a lot of myself with
the jobs I worked. I worked for the local government for over twenty years with no fear
of losing my job.
It’s not the same anymore especially when my wife and I rely so heavily on her income
because my income has been so undependable lately. Since getting laid off the first
time at the end of 2006 I’ve been laid off another 3 times so far. It’s 2009. Well-paying
temporary jobs are hard to come by let alone permanent ones. Who wants to hire an
overeducated middle aged computer specialist? I feel obsolete.