A translation quality assessment of the first
three chapters of the novel ―the da vinci code‖
by do thu ha (2005) based on j.house‘s model
Đặng Thị Phượng
Trường Đại học Ngoại ngữ
Luận văn Thạc sĩ ngành: Ngôn ngữ Anh; Mã số: 60.22.15
Người hướng dẫn: PGS. TS. Trần Xuân Điệp
Năm bảo vệ: 2012
Abstract: Literary translation has been developing for a long time; however, the
definition of a ―good‖ translation still remains a controversy. Different theorists
construct different models to assess the quality of a translation text; therefore, there
exists only ―good‖ translation according to a specific view. This qualitative study
attempts to evaluate the translation quality of the first three chapters in the Vietnamese
version of the novel ―The Da Vinci Code‖ translated by Do Thu Ha (2005) based on J.
House‘s translation quality assessing model. Under qualitative method, the source text
has been analyzed in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar (under five
dimensions namely Field, Tenor, Mode, Transitivity System, and Theme) and House‘s
model (under two dimensions namely Dimensions of Language Use and Dimensions
of Language User). Besides, a comparison between the source and translation text has
been implemented to discover the mismatches and errors (namely covert and overt
erroneous errors). Thence, a statement of quality of the translation text has been
presented, i.e. the translation text is of rather poor quality and fails to exactly and
completely convey the interpersonal and ideational meaning of the source text (ST)
according to House‘s model.
Keywords: Phương pháp giảng dạy; Tiếng Anh; Dịch thuật; Bản dịch
Content
PART I. INTRODUCTION
I. Rationale of the study
There are various areas in translation among which translation quality assessment is a
subject of interest. To what degree a translation text is ―good‖ all depends on a large variety
of factors, one of those would be the angle from which the translation text can be looked at.
Translation theorists developed their own models of translation quality assessment (TQA);
however, J. House‘s is widely adduced for its applicability. J. House is a German linguist who
has developed her own TQA model after criticizing previously proposed ones by other
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linguists like Newmark‘s or Hatim & Mason‘s. This paper is conducted based on her TQA
model to assess the first three chapters of the novel ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ by Đỗ Thu Hà (2005).
II. Scope and objectives of the study
Under the constraints of time and size, the study only focuses on the first three among
105 chapters in the book ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ by Đỗ Thu Hà in 2005. In this study, the
investigated chapters will be analyzed under the light of J. House‘s approach of TQA in order
to reach the objectives of (1) discovering the features of the source text (ST) in the light of
Halliday‘s functional grammar and House‘s dimensions and (2) assessing the level of quality
that the translation text reaches. Due to the fact that House‘s model is constituted based on
pragmatic theories of language use meanwhile concerning semantic and textual aspect, the
scope of this study is not limited as its title may arouse. The paper covers quite a large range
of applied linguistics, for example, constrastive analysis, cross-cultural study, functional
grammar, and translation.
III. Research questions
In order to fulfill its objectives stated above, this paper needs to answer the following
research questions:
1. What are the features of the ST in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar and
House‘s dimensions?
2. To what degree does the translation text (TT) meet the standard of quality as
proposed in House‘s TQA model?
IV. Research methodology
- Qualitative method: This research is a qualitative evaluation; hence, the source of
data is document, and information is gathered by an analysis of documents and materials.
Data are categorized into patterns as the primary basis for organizing and reporting results.
Qualitative method allows the researcher to study individual text closely. It also enables
multiple analytic strategies.
- Synthetic and analytic methods: The analysis of the texts is also approached from the
combination of analytic and synthetic methods: analytic perspective to identify, isolate certain
aspects to concentrate on, and synthetic perspective to investigate the interdependence of
these constituents – how they work together as a whole.
- Descriptive and comparative methods: In order to provide in-depth and detailed
descriptions of translation and evaluation, the study is descriptive and comparative in nature.
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V. Organization of the study
The first part of the study is the Introduction which provides a general view of the
research such as methods, objectives, and scope.
In the second part – Development, the study aims to present the theoretical
background of the research (Chapter I) and review the existing literature by presenting some
related concepts of translation theory and typical TQA models (Chapter II). Chapter III
focuses on the Methodology and Procedures of the research. Chapter IV is the Findings and
Discussion which present the results of data analysis and discussions.
In part 3, the conclusion of the study will be stated with three components:
Recapitulation of the study, Limitation of the study, and Recommendations for further
research.
PART II: DEVELOPMENT
CHAPTER I. THEORETICAL BACKGROUND
I.1. Translation theory
I.1.1. What is translation?
I.1.2. Translation procedures and methods
I.1.3. Translation equivalence
I.2. Views and models of translation quality assessment
I.2.1. Hatim & Mason’s model (1990)
I.2.2. Peter Newmark’s model
I.3. Development of J .House’s model
CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW
House‘s model, for its plausibility, can be found in a number of studies of TQA. A
brief summary of such works is as follows.
II.1. Application of House’s model in Vietnam.
II.2. Application of House’s model in other countries.
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CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY AND PROCEDURES
III.1. Subject of study
As the study of the whole text is beyond the scope of this paper, the object under
investigation is the first three chapters in the SL ―The Da Vinci Code‖ written by Dan Brown
in 2003 and their Vietnamese version translated by Đỗ Thu Hà in 2005.
III.2. Methodology
The present study has a qualitative design. This study is intended to find two kinds of
errors as a consequence of comparing the ST with the TT. The model to be used in this study
is House‘s TQA Model. This study is mainly a library research.
Under House‘s model, the analysis and comparison of the source text (ST) and
translated text (TT) are conducted in two sections: Dimensions of Language User and
Dimensions of Language Use. In the first part, three situational dimensions which refer to the
features marking the provenance of a text producer are introduced including Geographical
origin, Social class, and Time. In the second part, five situational dimensions namely
Medium, Participation, Social relationship, Social attitude, and Province are applied for the
analysis and comparison. Also, on each of the dimensions, the author analyzes the texts on
three aspects: syntactic, lexical, and textual means. Also, under Halliday‘s functional
grammar, the ST would be analyzed in terms of Field, Tenor, Mode, Transitivity system,
Theme, and Mood.
III.3 Data Collection Procedure
The researcher first read the original text thoroughly, and then the ST is compared to
its translation to find two kinds of errors, namely overtly erroneous errors and covertly
erroneous errors. The House‘s model is commonly applied in TQA by doing the following
chronological steps:
i. Doing an analysis to get the ST profile (Analytic method)
ii. Giving a statement of function to the ST related with ideational and interpersonal
meaning (Synthetic method)
iii. Comparing the two texts to produce a statement of ―in-equivalence‖ which is
categorized into ―covertly erroneous errors‖ and ―overtly erroneous errors‖ (Comparative
method).
iv. Providing a statement of quality with reference to the translation result (Descriptive
method).
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III.4. Data Analysis Procedure
The mismatches and errors have been identified based on a comparison between the
ST and TT. Covertly erroneous errors are differentiated from overtly erroneous errors in that
the latter results either from a mismatch of the denotative meanings of ST and TT elements or
from a breach of the target language system.
Findings and Discussion: This subsection is aimed at presenting the results of the
application/implementation of the above-mentioned step and providing a statement of quality
of the TT.
CHAPTER IV: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION
IV.1. ST and TT comparison
Mismatches on the following dimensions could be observed as a result of a
comparison between the ST and TT on the basis of situational dimensions suggested in
House‘s model.
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IV.1.1. Covertly erroneous errors
A. Medium: Syntactic means
TT uses some contact which does not appear in the ST and changes in type of phrases
such as:
ST
TT
1. Langdon picked up the receiver. ―Hello?‖
(p.7)
Langdon nhấc ống nghe trả lời: ―Xin chào?‖ (p.7)
2. Squinting at his surroundings he saw a
plush Renaissance bedroom with Louis XVI
furniture… (p.7)
Liếc nhìn xung quanh ông nhận thấy đó là một
phòng ngủ kiểu Phục Hưng bằng vải lông với nội
thất thời Lui XVI… (p.7)
3. According to lore, the brotherhood had
created a map of stone—a clef de voûte or
keystone—an engraved tablet that revealed
the final resting place of the brotherhood's
greatest secret… (p.15)
Theo sách vở, tổ chức đó đã tạp ra môt tấm bản
đồ bằng đá – một viên đá đỉnh vòm – và khắc vào
đó bảng chỉ dẫn tới vị trí cuối cùng của bí mật lớn
nhất của tổ chức… (p.14)
In the first example, the verb ―trả lời‖ is added to the end of the first sentence to connect the
two sentences. In the second and third example, the noun phrases ―a plush Renaissance
bedroom‖ and ―an engraved tablet‖ are transformed into a subordinate clause ―đó là một
phòng ngủ‖ and a verb phrase ―khắc vào đó‖. This kind of change in TT, to some extent,
supports the translator‘s aim in explaining and clarifying the situation which is considered not
necessary in the ST as well as making the text more familiar to Vietnamese readers.
B. Social role relationship
Regarding the lexical mismatch, the TT differs from the ST in terms of use of pronouns as
stated below:
ST
TT
1. ―I assume,‖ Langdon said, ―That the
American University of Paris told you
where I was staying?‖ (p.19)
―Tôi đoán,‖ Langdon nói, ―rằng Trường Đại Học
Mỹ ở Pari đã nói cho ông biết tôi đang ở đâu?‖
(p.18)
The pronoun ―you‖ in the first extract should be translated into ―các ông‖ (plural)
instead of ―ông‖ (singular) because in this circumstance, by ―you‖, the speaker means the
policemen who requested his presence, not the listener.
C. Social attitude
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The consultative style level of the ST is violated when the translator adds more
abundant words to the TT in order to make the text more intimate. This may be caused by the
translator‘s attempt to create a more natural narrative and to bring the text closer to the
Vietnamese writing style. The examples are listed below:
ST
TT
1. ―Outside the car, the pale wash of
halogen headlights skimmed over the
crushed gravel parkway…‖ (p.20)
Bên ngoài chiếc xe, ánh sáng nhạt của những
ngọn đèn pha cháy bằng khí halogien hắt
xuống con đường rải sỏi nghiền nhỏ. (p.19)
2. ―Mr. Langdon,‖ Fache's ebony eyes
locked on his. "What you see in the photo is
only the beginning of what Sauniere did.
(p.25)
―Ông Langdon,‖ đôi mắt đen như gỗ mun của
Fache lóe lên, ông ta ngắt lời Langdon,
―Những gì ông thấy chỉ là khởi đầu của những
việc ông Sauniere đã làm.‖ (p.23)
However, in several cases, the TT leaves out certain parts in the ST, hence making the
meaning of the TT less clear than that of the ST and breaching the consultative and casual
style level of the ST. For example:
ST
TT
Suggested alternative
1. ―The room was spartan –
hardwood floors, a pine
dresser, a canvas mat in the
corner that served as his
bed…‖ (p.14)
―Căn phòng rất đơn giản –
sàn gỗ cứng, một cái tủ
bằng gỗ thông, một cái
chiếu bằng vải bạt…‖
(p.13)
Căn phòng rất đơn sơ – sàn
gỗ cứng, một cái tủ bằng gỗ
thông, một cái chiếu bằng vải
bạt ở góc nhà để làm
giường…
2. ―…a pair of late night
lovers cuddling to stay
warm…‖ (p.18)
―…một đôi tình nhân ôm
chặt nhau để giữ ấm…‖
(p.17)
…một đôi tình nhân đi chơi
về muộn ôm chặt nhau để giữ
ấm…
D. Province
In terms of syntactic means, past simple tense is mainly used in the ST, which is
proper to a narrative fiction. However, due to specific characteristics of Vietnamese language,
the tense markers is not manifested in the TT apart from several sentences in which past
simple tense is expressed with the word ―đã‖ such as:
+ ―Các cuốn sách của ông về các bức vẽ tôn giáo và biểu tượng thờ cúng đã làm ông
nổi danh một cách bất đắc dĩ trong giới nghệ thuật…‖ (p.8)
+ ―Ông và người quản lý đáng kính Jacques Sauniere đã sắp xếp để gặp nhau uống vài
cốc bia sau buổi thuyết giảng tối nay của Langdon, nhưng ông Sauniere đã không đến. (p.11)
8
+ ―Mỗi người đều nói cho Silas một điều giống nhau – rằng viên đá đỉnh vòm đã được
giấu khéo léo tại một vị trí ở Pari…‖ (p.14)
+ ―Sự tha thứ đã được đảm bảo.‖ (p.15)
+ ―Tôi đoán,‖ Langdon nói, ―rằng trường Đại học Mỹ ở Pari đã nói cho ông biết tôi
đang ở đâu?‖ (p.18)
Moreover, in terms of lexical means, the use of lexical items marked [+human] in the
ST is not maintained in the TT, which affects the Province of the TT. Below is an example to
illustrate the point:
ST
TT
Suggested Alternative
―Sitting up now, Langdon
frowned at his bedside Guest
Relations Handbook, whose
cover boasted: SLEEP
LIKE A BABY IN THE
CITY OF LIGHTS,
SLUMBER AT THE PARIS
RITZ.‖ (p.8)
Khi đã ngồi dậy, Langdon
cau mày nhìn cuốn sổ tay
liên hệ với khách hàng
được ghi những lời hoa
mỹ: Hãy ngủ như một đứa
trẻ ở Kinh đô ánh sánh.
Hãy thiếp ngủ ở khách sạn
Ritz Pari.‖ (p.8)
Khi đã ngồi dậy, Langdon cau
mày trước Cuốn sách hướng
dẫn cho Khách với trang bìa
khoe khoang: HÃY NGỦ NHƯ
MỘT ĐỨA TRẺ Ở KINH ĐÔ
ÁNH SÁNG, HÃY NGỦ SAY
Ở KHÁCH SẠN RITZ PARIS.
IV.1.2. Overtly erroneous errors
Apart from the mismatches from the ST as discussed above, the TT also presents other
breaches which should be taken into consideration.
Firstly, in terms of breaches of the target language system, the TT shows several cases
of ungrammaticality as can be seen as follows:
ST
TT
Analysis of
mistake
Suggested
alternative
1. ―The frightening
image of the curator's body
remained locked in his
mind.‖ (p.17)
Những hình ảnh đáng
sợ về thi thể của người
quản lý bảo tàng vẫn bám
chặt trong tâm trí ông.‖
(p.17)
Number of
noun
Hình ảnh
2. ―‗This symbol here, and
the way his body is so
oddly ‘
‘Positioned?’ the agent
―‗Biểu tượng ở đây và
cách đặt thi thể ông ấy
thật kỳ lạ…‘
‗Vị trí?‘ Viên cảnh sát
Translation of
passive voice
―…và sự kỳ lạ trong
cái cách mà cơ thể
ông ấy…‖
―Được sắp xếp phải
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offered.‖ (p.13)
hỏi.‖ (p.12)
không?‖
Moreover, several cases of dubious acceptability such as literal translation or wrong
translation could be observed throughout the TT as follows.
ST
TT
Analysis of
mistake
Suggested alternative
1. ―Langdon had little
doubt.‖ (p.8)
―Langdon hơi nghi ngờ.‖
(p.8)
Wrong
translation
of ―little‖
Langdon không mấy nghi
ngờ.
2. ―If you would be so
kind‖ (p.8)
―Nếu ông đã có lòng tốt
như thế‖ (p.8)
Wrong
translation
of ―so‖
Nếu ông vui lòng
Secondly, in terms of mistakes in the denotative meanings of ST and TT, the
following mismatches could be recognized in the text under the category of wrong selections:
ST
TT
Analysis of
mistake
Suggested alternative
1.―The man's English
was accented – a sharp,
authoritative bark.‖
(p.11)
―Tiếng Anh của người
nói được kéo dài – một
giọng đầy uy quyền và
nhọn sắc.‖ (p.11)
Wrong
translation of
―bark‖
Tiếng Anh của người
đàn ông có ngữ điệu đặc
biệt – một tiếng quát sắc
nhọn và đầy uy quyền.
2. ―Thirty seconds
later, the crowd was
grinning,…‖ (p.10)
―Ba mươi phút sau,
đám đông vẫn cười phá
lên…‖ (p.9)
Wrong
translation of
―seconds‖ and
―grin‖
Ba mươi giây sau, đám
đông cười rần rần.
IV.2. Discussion: statement of quality
From the findings above, it can be summed up that in the light of House‘s dimensions,
ST and TT have been compared particularly in terms of Medium, Social role relationship,
Social attitude, and Province to discover the mismatches. From all the breaches of
equivalence made visible by the application of House‘s model, the following problems related
to covertly and overtly erroneous errors have been recognized.
First, regarding the covertly erroneous errors, there are mismatches on the dimensions
below.
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On the dimension Medium, the mismatch derives from the addition of contact which
does not appear in the ST and changes in type of phrases, serving the translator‘s purpose of
making the text more familiar to Vietnamese context.
On the medium Social role relationship, the lexical mismatch in terms of use of
pronouns could be seen. Especially, the pronoun ―she‖ and ―her‖ used to refer to a specific
and beloved thing (the Eiffel tower in this case) was mistranslated into ―trên ấy, cái tháp, trên
đó‖; hence, the subtle meaning of the pronouns is lost in the TT.
On the dimension Social attitude, the consultative style level of the ST was infringed
more abundant words are added to the TT in order to make the text more intimate. Moreover,
in several cases, the TT skips details of the ST, resulting in a loss in meaning of the ST.
Although the difference in style between the ST and TT is of little significance and does
unremarkable negative effects on the ST‘s pragmatic meaning, it detracts from the
interpersonal functional component of the text‘s function.
On the dimension Province, the fact that the TT hardly uses past simple tense – a
typical feature of narrative fiction and bypasses the use of lexical items marked [+human] in
the ST with a view to create a fictional style partly affect the interpersonal functional
components.
Second, with respect to the overtly erroneous errors, the breaches discovered also
detract from the interpersonal functional component. The TT shows several cases of
ungrammaticality, dubious acceptability such as literal translation or wrong translation, and
translating mistakes in the denotative meanings of the ST. However, under the light of the
concept ―cultural filter‖ – a means of capturing socio-cultural differences in expectation
norms and stylistic conventions between source and target linguistic-cultural communities (J.
House, 2001), the TT, generally, has not totally conveyed both ideational and interpersonal
features of the ST.
Despite the mismatches presented above, the TT shows some good translated sections
that can convey both interpersonal and ideational features of the ST as follows:
ST
TT
1. ―Pulling his shades, he stripped naked
and knelt in the center of his room. Looking
down, he examined the spiked cilice belt
clamped around his thigh. All true followers
of The Way wore this device—a leather strap,
―Kéo rèm che, hắn cởi trần ra và quỳ xuống
giữa phòng. Nhìn xuống, hắn kiểm tra chiếc
dây thắt bằng sợi lông đuôi ngựa được đóng
đinh và buộc chặt quanh bắp đùi. Tất cả
những môn đồ chân chính của Con Đường
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studded with sharp metal barbs that cut into
the flesh as a perpetual reminder of Christ's
suffering. The pain caused by the device also
helped counteract the desires of the flesh.‖
(p.16)
đều đeo vật này – một dây da, dập những
ngạnh kim loại sắc cứa vào thịt như một sự
nhắc nhở thường xuyên về sự chịu đựng của
Chúa. (p.15)
In brief, under the light of J. House‘s TQA model, the translation text of the first three
chapters of the novel ―The Da Vinci Code‖ reveals significant and serious mismatches from
the ST. Apart from a few good translated passages, the rest of the TT contains various
translation mistakes which seem to be a result of careless translation with little edition. There
are breaches in all twenty three pages of the TT; thus, the TT appears to be of of low
performance and to some extent reduces the positive effects and impressions on readers made
by the ST.
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PART III: CONCLUSION
I. Recapitulation of main ideas
The controversy over the quality of a translation text has led to the increasing demand
for literary translation quality assessment. Correspondingly, this paper is conducted to
investigate the quality of the first three chapters in the TT based on J. House‘s TQA model.
Firstly, a succinct summary of different theories related to the subject under
investigation has been presented in the part of Theoretical background. Different definitions
of translation have been shown, followed by Translation procedures and methods and
Translation equivalence. Besides, the paper has reviewed significant previous works carried
out both inside and outside Vietnam by several authors who have applied J. House‘s model to
evaluate the quality assessment of different kinds of materials and texts. The method
employed to carry out this research is qualitative. The ST has been analyzed in the light of
Halliday‘s systemic-functional grammar and House‘s model. The part Findings and
Discussion has answered the two questions proposed at the beginning of the study. First, a
concise overview of the original text has been presented, followed by different features of the
ST in the light of Halliday‘s systemic-functional grammar and House‘s dimensions. Second, a
comparison between the ST and TT reveals a large number of mismatches both in terms of
Covertly erroneous errors (Medium, Social role relationship, Social attitude, and Province)
and Overtly erroneous errors (breaches of the target language system, cases of dubious
acceptability and mistakes in the denotative meanings of ST). It is stated that the TT has failed
to meet the assessor‘s expectations and to totally convey the interpersonal and ideational
features of the ST.
II. Limitations of the study
In spite of all that, there are several limitations of the study. As stated in the
introductory section, the study has been confined only to the translation quality assessment of
the first three chapters of the novel ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ by Đỗ Thu Hà (2005) based on
House‘s TQA model. In terms of text, the paper has only investigated a small proportion of
the whole TT (thee over 105 chapters). In addition, due to typical characteristics of Halliday‘s
systemic-functional grammar, not all the features of the ST have been reviewed. Moreover,
because the data is limited to only three chapters, the low performance of the TT may not
stand for the quality of the whole book. In addition, the TT has only been looked at under
J.House‘s TQA model whereas there are other models proposed by different theorists. Thus,
as fully done as the title of the research may suggest, the study has not been exhaustive.
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III. Recommendation for further research
Due to the limitations stated earlier, several follow-up studies can be implemented to
cover the areas which are not included in this thesis. One would be the application of House‘s
model to a large number of chapters or the whole novel ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ to properly
investigate the quality of the whole TT. Such a study could attempt to identify the strengths
and drawbacks of the TT; thence a suggestion could be proposed to revise the translation book
to bring a better and more equivalent translation to the readers.
Another study could be done by applying other TQA models such as Hatim &
Mason‘s or Peter Newmark‘s to evaluate the quality of the TT. That study would be worth
doing to provide a quality assessment report of the TT according to different perspectives.
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