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Fast Monologue A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie
Stephen, in huge close-up, monologises at really quite ripsnortingly immense speed.
Stephen When I was seventeen I had already tried fourteen different jobs, married twice, fathered many
many many children, eaten a perfectly enormous quantity of food over a long time period, been weaned off
six types of class A dangerous drugs, given up smoking, taken it up again, given it up again, taken it up
again, given taking it up and taken giving it up again and again and again. By the time I was twenty, alcohol
had never passed my lips, yet I was a reckless and predatory alcoholic: my life was in pieces, my marriages
were shattered, my children lay in ruins, I was paying alimony along the sinuses, behind the dark interior
passages of the skull and through the nose. But at thirty, at thirty came that chance, to redeem a bin-liner of
broken promises. If I didn't take that chance what would I be? What would I become? Just another friendless
acid spot on the back buttock of a weeping society. So I took it, took the chance, picked up the ball and ran,
went for it, threw caution to the teeth of the gale, never look back, just keep running, I did it. Forget the past,
there's nothing there, not even memories, just a road you never travelled unwinding backwards to a place
you never came from. Hugh enters behind Stephen, looking worried where fruit grows on trees you never
climbed, in an orchard where you lost your virginity to a boy called Timothy who died of Horlicks
poisoning before you were born. No answers there.
Hugh Stephen?
Stephen Yes?
Hugh Why don´t you lie down.
Stephen OK. (284 w)
ˈ
| ɪ hju dʒ ˈkləʊs ʌp | mɒnələgaɪzɪz ə ˈrɪəli kwaɪt rɪpsnɔ:tɪŋl ɪˈme
p d|
z
ˈ
| wen aɪ wəz ˌsevnˈt aɪ əd ɔ ˈedi taɪdb fɔ t ˈdɪfən (t) dʒɒbz |
ˈmæɪd taɪ | ˈfɑ ðədb ˈme ˈme ˈme ˈ ʃɪdə | ˈ ə ˈpɜ fɪ(k)tli ɪˈnɔ məs
ˈkɒnt ɪt i əv fu dz ˈəʊvə ə ˈlɒŋ ˈ aɪm ˈpɪəiəd | b mw d ɒf sɪ(k)s taɪps əv