26300 jokes
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Jokes
Put the jokes together using lists 1 and list 2
LIST 1
1. A man goes swimming and while he is in
the water, all his clothes are stolen. What
does he go home in?
2. Do you know what the penalty for bigamy
is?
3. Did you go water-skiing on holiday?
4. Waiter, will my beef-burger be long?
5. Why did you only clean the windows
inside?
6. What do you call an elephant that flies?
7. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
8. Why are false teeth like stars?
9. Why did the child study in the aeroplane?
10. What runs but never walks?
11. Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
12. Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
13. Waiter, do you have frogs legs?
14. Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
15. Why do witches fly on brooms?
16. What does a witch ask for when she checks
into a hotel?
17. Why did the chicken cross the road?
18. What's green and can jump a mile a
minute?
19. Where do frogs keep their money?
20.What did the mouse say to the webcam?
LIST 2
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
A jumbo jet.
Hold his nose.
It looks like it's learning to swim sir
A frog with hiccups!
Because vacuum cleaners are too
heavy.
f) If they have broom service.
g) No sir, I've always walked like this.
h) He wanted a higher education!
i) The dark.
j) Cheese.
k) Two mothers-in-law.
l) Water!
m) No, madam I wiped it off!
n) I expect it will be round, sir.
o) In a river bank!
p) No, I couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
q) To get to the other side.
r) Then why aren't you laughing!
s)
So I can look out but nobody can look
in.
t) They come out at night.
JOKES – the answers
1.
A man goes swimming and while he is
i) The dark.
in the water, all his clothes are stolen.
What does he go home in?
2.
Do you know what the penalty for
k) Two mothers-in-law.
bigamy is?
3.
Did you go water-skiing on holiday?
p) No, I couldn't find a lake with a
slope.
4.
Waiter, will my beef-burger be long?
n) I expect it will be round, sir.
5.
Why did you only clean the windows
s) So I can look out but nobody can
inside?
look in.
What do you call an elephant that
a) A jumbo jet.
6.
flies?
7.
How do you keep a skunk from
b) Hold his nose.
smelling?
8.
Why are false teeth like stars?
t) They come out at night.
9.
Why did the child study in the
h) He wanted a higher education!
aeroplane?
10.
What runs but never walks?
l) Water !
11.
Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
r) Then why aren't you laughing!
12.
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my
c) It looks like it's learning to swim
soup?
sir!
13.
Waiter, do you have frogs legs?
g) No sir, I've always walked like this.
14.
Waiter, is there soup on the menu?
m) No, madam I wiped it off!
15.
Why do witches fly on brooms?
16.
What does a witch ask for when she
e) Because vacuum cleaners are too
heavy
f) If they have broom service.
checks into a hotel?
17.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
q) To get to the other side
18.
What's green and can jump a mile a
d) A frog with hiccups!
minute?
19.
Where do frogs keep their money?
o) In a river bank!
20.
What did the mouse say to the
j) Cheese.
webcam?
