Bài chấm điểm IELTS writing day 2 bài viết mẫu

16. Vo Van Toan
Task 1
The line chart shows data of gross domestic progress (GDP) and percentage of price increase in the
economy of Vietnam over seven years from 2001 to 2008.
It can be seen clearly that there were diverse directions in these two important indexes in the this
developing country within 7 year seven-year period. While, there was sustainable increase of unexpected
value of in inflation, GDP increased slightly during this period and then fell down in the end in the later
period (không có giai đoạn cuối hay kết thúc) on this survey.
Even though, there were small drops in 2003 and 2006, but the average price of goods climbed up from
only 1% in the starting point of in 2001 to nearly 20% in 2008. The most dramatic jump from the rate
under two numbers to the peak point happened steadily within a very short duration of two years from
2006 to 2008.
In contrast, there was were gradual climbs in GDP, but the total value was only 1,5% , increased
increasing from 7% to 8,48% during a long-term progress of six years. Then it began falling sharply to
the lower point compared with to the initial rate of 2001.

Band:5.5–6.0
Task2
There have been so many concerns on the quality of students graduated from universities
postgraduates (người học xong đại học) in Vietnam. Some people estimate that these personnels
personnel (dạng plural vẫn giữ nguyên) have limited practical experiences , ; however, others agree
that these well-trained employees can satisfy the requirements of companies.
Vietnam , as a developing country, has some limited infrastructure compared with to developed countries
around the world in investing perfect facilities for training and education system. This can explain the
reason why graduates from most universities of this country cannot be equipped with enough knowledge
and experiences during there their courses. Hanoi Uuniversity as one of the top educational institutions in
Vietnam is classified in the group on top 200 well-known universities in Asia (irrelevant). In addition, the
demand of human resource in this country has increased dramatically in recent years, especially in the
sector of foreign investment companies. Vietnamese graduates cannot fullfil fulfill/fulfill their duties as
surpass oversea technicians and experts in terms of work experiences and practical interactions. Labors
from abroad can complete their jobs easily and quickly becauce because they have been trained

comprehensively during schools, whereas Vietnamese personnels personnel only study mostly theories
so that it must take takes times for them to engage adapt gradually. This situations becomes more
difficult for national engineers exporting to work in foreign environments of in developed countries.
With regarding to working conditions in Vietnam, graduated students have become made up the majority
on manpower of the economy society. Due to the lack of high qualified employees, national companies
can hire low wage human resorce resource to promote the business. Some small enterprises can use
these workers in some necessary areas of there their operations with appropriate assignments, ;
however, they can also get benefits thank thanks to low expenses for salaries. Furthermore, these
employers can enhance the performance of their personnels personnel by creating working learning
environment so that the quality of labors can be improved effectively. For example, some graduates


accept joining intership internship programs in some companies without any payment within a definite
duration (viết lại: some graduates agree to join non-paid internship programs in various companies
within a definite duration) Then, they can apply for their jobs into positions where there are demands
appropriate positions. This tendency has become popular in different fields and promise so many
potentials for actualized improving the quality improvement of graduates of in Vietnam.
In my opinion, the quality of university graduated employees depend depends on the actual demand of
the economy in general and of each enterprise in particular. In some business models, experiences can
be very important becauce because this can help reduce some expenses for initial training. However,
some reputational reputable universities in Vietnam can also supply acceptable human resource for the
demand of many numerous different fields of the economy.

Band:6.5–7.0
Strength:
-

NắmđượccấutrúcbàiviếtTask1vàTask2,chiabốcụcrõràng
Cohesivedevicessửdụnghợplý
Từvựngđượcparaphrasekhátốt,collocationvàwordchoicehợplý

Weakness:
-

Nhiềutừvựngcònsaichínhtả
Ngữphápcònđơngiản,nhiềucâusửdụngvớimodalverb“can”
Sửdụngnhiềutừ“some”,“many”…nênthaybằngtừadvancedhơnhoặcparaphrasetránhlặp
lại
Cònnhiềuýchưalienquantớinộidungbàivàkhôngrõrang


17.NguyễnHuyHoàng
Task 1.
The line chart gives information on GDP and inflation rate price increase percentage (nên paraphrase)
of Vietnamese economy from 2001 to 2008
It is clear that inflation rate (lặp từ) of Vietnamese during period from 2001 to 2008 experienced a
dramatically increased while the GDP stayed relatively stable. (nên viết overview chung cho các
trend nổi bật của các đường trong biểu đồ)
About In terms of/ Regarding to GDP of Vietnamese, we can be seen it can be seen that GDP slightly
climbed from 6.99% to 7.24% from 2001 to 2003 (lặp cấu trúc from-to) in three first years and in this
period GDP was higher than the rate of inflation. In the next four years, the rate of inflation rapidly
increased from 3.0% to 9.5% and it was higher than the figure of GDP (7.7%). In 2005, the rate of
inflation same with equaled GDP ( 8.4%) and then the figure of inflation decease decreased to 6.6%
while GDP slowly decreased to 8.17%. Over three last year years of period, the rate of inflation
dramatically increased from 6.6% to 19.89% while lặp cấu trúc câu GDP of VN slightly go up to 8.48%
following by a rapidly increased ( 6.23 % in the last year of period)
Band: 4.5 - 5.0


-

Có ý so sánh để làm nổi bật ý trong bài nhưng chưa chọn lọc số liệu tốt
Lặp nhiều cấu trúc câu “while”, có thể thay bằng meanwhile, hoặc whereas…
Còn sai chính tả 1 số từ
Thì chưa nhất quán


18. Dinh Cam Tu
Task 1
The graph line chart shows the GDP and inflation ratio in Vietnam between 2001 and 2008.
From the graph it is clear As can be seen from the graph that the GDP rate was higher than the
inflation rate in the begind beginning of the period while there was lower of than the former previous
data in the end year later period. => không có điểm đầu cuối của 1 giai đoạn, chỉ nên nói giai đoạn
đầu và giai đoạn sau
Starting at 6,89% in 2001, the GDP rate increased sequentially to 8.4% in next four years before
decreased slowly to 8.17% in 2006. Then this figure went down gradually to 6.23% in 2008 after rose
midly mildly to 8.48% in 2007.
Beside, (cần trạng từ) Besides, starting at 0.8% in first year, the inflation rate fluctuated moderately
around 8.4% during this period and reached a peak of 19.89% in 2008.
Band: 4.0
Comment:
- Bố cục 4 đoạn hợp lý (introduction – overview – body 1 – body 2)
- Bài viết còn lặp từ
- Dùng cấu trúc còn đơn điệu. E.g: cấu trúc so sách while, before-after lặp lại trong đoạn body 1

19. Phan Thu Ngoc
Task 1
The line graph compares the figures of Vietnamese economy between 2001 and 2008 in term terms of
GDP and inflation rate.
Overall, while there was an upward fluctuation in the increase of inflation degree, the speed of

Vietnamese GDP growth rate was absolutely stable.
Looking at the information in more detail, the growth rate of inflation began at 0.8% in 2001 and increased
to 4.00% in 2000 before dropping to 3.00% in the next year. After that, this figure reached a new high in
2004 with 9.5% and decreased by 2.9% in two-year period. In the end of the period, this it rocketed from
6.6% and ended at 19.89% in 2008.


At the same period, the GDP rate was nearly constant. The growth of GDP in Vietnam started at 6.89%
and went up slightly to 8.4% in 2006, in which the speed of GDP and inflation were at the same rate the
only time in the whole period were of equal rate for one time during the whole period. Then the GDP
rate witnessed a minimal decline in the next one year and then it reversed its trend, and reached
reaching (dùng nhiều liên từ) a peak at 8.48%. After that, the figure of GDP growth in Vietnam was
stayed 6.23% in the end.
Band: 6.5
Comment:
-

Bài viết có bố cục hợp lý và rõ ràng, mô tả được các xu hướng chính, và có sự so sánh giữa các
giai đoạn
Các ý được phân bổ logic, cohesive devices kết nối phù hợp, tuy nhiên còn lặp từ. E.g: after that
Chưa dùng được nhiều cấu trúc đa dạng E.g: so sánh….

Task 2
There have has been a debate about the quality of graduates in Vienam. that Wwhile some people think
that student fresh fresh students from university in Vietnam usually need more visual experieces
experiences to satisfy the employers, others agree that they have already meet met the work demands
when they graduate after their graduation. In my opinion, Vietnamese recent graduates may lack of
work practice; howerver however, some of them still can eliminate this problem issue and do well excel
in any company.
To begin with, Vietnamese students may not inappropriate for job market because of their lack of

practice. Firsly,Firstly in many university a number of universities in Vietnam, students are just taught
about theories from books. If they want to get high marks, they must say the same things as the books
say (lặp từ, nên dùng từ có nghĩa cụ thể hơn hoặc viết lại “They must follow/copy exactly the
same things written in the books), because some Vietnamese professors are not interested in tend not
to show high interest in any other creative definitions that students self figure out in life (unclear). That
leads to the fact that, the students in Vietnam become lazier to have obtain experiences and activities
outside classes linking to their lessons outside the classes. Furthermore, some company various
companies do not want to have student intern refuse/hesitate to hire intern for the sake of their time
and security. Some managers think that assume that training new employees is time-cosuming
consuming; meanwhile, several bosses believe on-the-job trainee may steal their secrets of thier their
companies as they do not want to cooperate with that job contribute/devote in long period.
On the other hand, graduates in Vietnam take many advantages in workforce, and absolutely meet the
job requirements (unclear). The first thing is now there are a great munber number of programs that
support youngsters to experience the real work working skills. Then when they graduated, they can be
confident that they have knowledge not only from many theories they learn at university but also from the
in knowledge gained from prestigious tranee trainee courses rather than university curriculum.
However, although if students do not have any opportunities to work as an intern when they are learning,
they still can improve their skills as long as each of them have an inquire receptive mind. To specify,
they can ask for the colleague's help or find out how to do a good job through deal with many a bulk of
documents.


In conclusion, I believe that if Vietnamese students are active and energetic, the lack of work experience
will no longer be a problems problem
Band: 5.5
Comment:
- Bố cục rõ rang, paragraphing hợp lý
- Các ý được chia logic và dễ theo dõi
- Còn nhiều ý chưa rõ rang và thừa
- Còn dùng nhiều common words và expression

- Spelling nhiều từ sai
- Có cố gắng dùng những cấu trúc ngữ pháp khác nhau nhưng cách dùng chưa chính xác và hợp lý

20. Nguyễn Thị Huyền
Task 1
The given line graph gives information about the GDP together with the inflation rate of the economy of
Vietnam in the 7 seven-year period from 2001 to 2008. (Nên xuống dòng) From an overall perspective ,
there was a fluctuation in both two figures.
As can be seen from the graph, from 2001 to 2002, while there was a soft increase in the GDP, (about
0.5% ), inflation rate increased sharply from 0.4% to 4%, a rise of approximately 3%. Over the period from
2003 and to 2004, inflation rate went up from 3.0% to about 9.5%. The inflation rate reached its peaked
peak at 19.89% in the year 2008, ater then there was a sudden increase from 6.6% in 2006.
The GDP from 2001 to 2003 seen saw/witnessed a soft increase from 6.89% to 7.24%. In 2004, the
GDP fallen fell down to 7.7% but continued to go up to 8.4% in 2005. As can be seen, (lặp cách dùng)
both figures was 8.4% in 2005. While from 2006 to 2008, the inflation rate rised rose, the GDP had a dip
from 8.48% to only 6.23%.
Band: 4.0
Comment
-

Bố cục chưa hợp lý, nên đảm bảo có (introduction, overview và body)
Spelling nhiều từ còn sai
Grammar: chia động từ thì quá khứ đơn sai
Lặp cấu trúc mô tả
Chưa biết các paraphrase các cách mô tả xu hướng
Data lựa chọn chưa nổi bật, không có các ý so sánh 1 cách logic

Task 2
Thiếu introduction

First, it goes without saying is undeniable that students are now trying their best to improve their skills
such as computer or team work skill. This means that graduates are likely to be not passive anymore
(câu khẳng định tuyệt đối không nên dùng, lặp với ý bên dưới). They are becoming more and more
active and willing to learn new things thanks to advancement in many fields such as technology,
transportation that as/since/for they help things can be done make things easier and more convenient
simplify and facilitate works. Therefore, the qualification of the graduates is much more better more
superior than it used to be.
To be fair, however, there are still graduates who are not qualified enough to satisfy the demand of the
employers. They are students who just mainly pay their attention only to studying knowldege knowledge
in the course book and learn to get high scores instead of applying knowledge to real life. These students
may find it hard to get the concern of the employers be concerned/considered a job by recuiter
From my perspetive, perspective, it cannot be denied that Vietnamese graduates is making progress
constantly to make themselves more accomplished (unclear) so that they will be hired by company they
want. Comparing to the past, it is a breakthrough (irrelevant). Nonetheless, they still have to make
constant (lặp từ) effort to complete themselves as well as being believed and highly recommended by the
employer. (lặp ý)
The bottom line (lỗi diễn đạt) is that we cannot underestimate the ablity ability of the graduates because
they are changing by every minute. Meanwhile, it is vital that graduates improve their own learning skill as
well as soft skill and be to be sensitive to the market’s variation to be experienced enough. By doing so,
the graduates’ quality can be greatly enhanced and the employers are they become more accessible to
find out suitable workers the employers.
Band: 4.0
Comment:
- Chưa nắm được bố cục và cách triển khai ý của bài Discussion và Giving opinion
- Các ý triển khai không rõ rang và logic
- Từ vựng và ngữ pháp chưa academic
- Chưa sử dụng đúng các cohesive devices, cohesion của passage chưa tốt

21. Trần Thị Mỹ Ngọc

Task 1
The graph compares the GDP and inflation rate of Vietnamese economy from 2001 to 2008. Overall, the
rate of GDP grew slowly whereas inflation was more dramatic change change more dramatically.
To begin with, in 2001 the rate of GDP was 6,89%, it was in comparison with 0,8% of inflation (lỗi diễn
đạt) However, there was an unstable increase and decrease in the inflation over the next four years, the
peak of this period reached (reaching the peak at 9,5%) in 2004. By contrast, GDP remained a slight
increase under 7%.
The biggest rise was seen in inflation as a occasions it jumped sharply from 6,6% in 2006 to 18,8% in
2008 while GDP declined considerably from 8,48% in 2007 to 6,23% in 2008.


P/s: Thưa cô, đây là lần đầu tiên em viết lại Task 1 sau lần cuối cùng em học từ năm 2012, mọi kiến thức
em gần như quên hết, chỉ nhớ một số từ vựng dùng trong Task 1 thôi nên em đã vận dụng vào đây. Còn
Task 2 thì cả về kỹ năng và từ vựng em đều quên hết :(( Em có dự định đi du học Úc trong thời gian sắp
tới và cần band thấp nhất là 6.5, thời gian em có để luyện ôn thi ít nhất 3-4 tháng, em rảnh cả ngày (trừ
những buổi đi học ở Trung tâm IF) . Vậy với kỹ năng viết hiện tại của em như thế này thì em cần bắt đầu
từ đâu và nên có lịch trình học như thế nào mới đủ tự tin để đăng ký thi ạ? Phần đọc và nghe là em tự tin
hơn (>5.0) còn phần nói thì cũng giống phần viết ạ. Em mong nhận được sự góp ý chân thành nhất từ cô
ạ <3

22. Ho Thanh Me
Task 1
Task 1
The line graph shows the average per capital income and inflation rate of economy of people who live in
Vietnam between 2001 and 2008.
Overall, the rate of the inflation of Vietnam’s econmy economy increased significantly over the period of
7 seven years. At the same time, there was a slight decrease in the GPD rate of Vietnamese economy
(thừa)
In the 2001-2004 period In the period of four years from 2001 to 2004, the percentage rate (chọn 1
trong 2 từ) of change of Vietnam’s price increase index fluctuated upwards between 0.8 percent and 9.5

percent, followed by a considerable drop to 6.6 percent in 2006. There was the highest point of 19.89
percent in the inflation rate in 2008. The rate of GDP of Vietnamese economy saw a gradual growth from
6.89 percent in 2001 to 8.4 percent in 2005 before remaining unchanged about 8.4 percent in the next
couple of years. There was the lowest point of 6.23 percent in the last year period of time ( lặp cấu trúc)
Band: 5.0
Comment:
- Bài viết được chia bố cục tương đối rõ rang
- Có cố gắng paraphrase tuy nhiên chưa rõ ý nghĩa
- Chưa có sự so sánh và kết nối giữa các giai đoạn hoặc các chỉ số
- Lựa chọn số liệu chưa nổi bật
- Từ vựng và cách diễn đạt chưa học thuật
- Còn lặp lại nhiều cấu trúc viết câu
23. Đoàn Quốc Huy
Task 1
The line graph compares two distinct sectors in terms of the changes in the proportion of the GDP and
inflation rate in Viet Nam over an 8-year eight-year period.


It is noticeable that the inflation rate in Viet Nam climbed dramatically, while the most slight slightest
decrease was seen in the GDP between 2001 and 2008. (nên viết while the percentage of GDP
witnessed the slightest decrease during the period from 2001 to 2008)
In 2001, the inflation rate and GDP of Vietnamese economy were at just 0.8% and 6.89%, respectively.
From 2001 to 2007, the inflation rate had some fluctuations. It fell significantly between 2004 and 2006
until before it increased dramatically to 12.63% in 2007. (Nên thêm cohesive devices) There was a
moderate rise in GDP of Vietnamese economy by 8.48%.
In 2008, the inflation rate was peaked peaked at 19.89%. By contrast, the most significant decrease was
seen (lặp cấu trúc) in the GDP by 6.23%.
Band: 4.5
Comment:
- Bài viết chia bố cục khá rõ rang, tuy nhiên chưa có nhiều cohesive devices để làm cho các ý kết nối hơn

- Chưa đưa ra được sự so sánh, ví dụ: từng giai đoạn hoặc từng chỉ số
- Cách diễn đạt còn chưa rõ ràng, mang tính liệt kê
- Từ vựng chưa paraphrase tốt, còn lặp ý

24. Nguyễn Đức Hà
Task 1
The line chart illustrates the percentage of GDP and inflation of the economy in Viet Nam Vietnam over
an interval of 8 eight years.
As can be seen from the graph, that the GDP rate showed a continuous growing growth a in the first 5
five years then it slightly leveled off in 2006 by to 8.17%. In 2007, there was a the highest proportion in
the GDP of Vietnamese economy by to 8.48% but after that this rate suddenly decreased from 8.48% to
6.23% in the the year 2008s. In the case of Regarding to/In terms of the inflation in Viet Nam Vietnam,
it had/witnessed a fluctuant trend between 2001 and 2008. This percentage moderately increased in
2002 and then it turned into a decrease (lỗi diễn đạt) in 2003 by to 3.0%. From 2003 - 2006, the
proportion of Vietnamese inflation in the economy (thừa) dramatically ended up higher in 2004 (up to
9.5%) and then fell off in 2006. Between 2006 and 2008, there was a swift rise in the inflation rate from
6.6% to 19.89%.
In conclusion, during the period of 8 years, the Vietnamese inflation displayed a dramatic rise and the rate
of GDP slightly fell off by in contrast. The highest inflation rate is 19.88% in 2008 while the lowest GDP
percentage is 6.23% in the same year.
Band: 6.5
Comment:
- Bố cục rõ ràng và có logic giữa các đoạn
- Sử dụng từ vựng và cách diễn đạt học thuật, paraphrase từ vựng tốt


- Xem lại cách dùng increase to và increase by

25. Nguyễn Thị Mai
Task 1

The line graph illustrates the changes of two factors of VN Vietnam economic economy namely the
GDP and inflation rate over the course of 7 seven years starting in from 2001.
Overall, the GDP rate gradually increased except the time between 2005 and 2008, while the inflation
rate has a rapid changes change over the period given. Specially, the inflation rate quickly dramatically/
considerably increased from 2005 to 2008. Even though Nonetheless/Nevertheless, at the start of the
period, the GDP was much higher than inflation rate, but in the last later year years the inflation rate
dramatically increased 3 three times as much as the GDP.
With regards to the GDP changed change, it began at 6,89% in 2005 and moderately increased by 8,4%
in 2005 then dramatically decreased by 6,23% in 2008. In contrast, the economic economy inflation of
Vietnam fluctuated in the period from 2001 to 2006 then sharply increased by to 19,89% in 2008.
Although, there are two different fluctuation fluctuations of trends in GDP and inflation rate, they are still
met equaled by 8,4% in 2005.
Band: 5.5
Comment:
-

Bố cục hợp lý cho 1 bài task 1
Còn dùng lặp từ mô tả xu hướng, e.g. increase/decrease. Cần paraphrase và dùng các cách diên
đạt khác
Các cách diễn đạt chưa linh hoạt, mẫu câu chưa đa dạng

26. Nguyễn Lâm Minh Hậu
Task 1
The given graph illustrates the GDP and inflation’s ratio in the field of economy in Vietnam for the period
of 7 seven years, beginning in 2001 2008.
Specifically, while GDP was starting off at the higher percentage (6.89%), the inflation boasted the least
number, which was under 1%. For the next two years, they didn’t did not make any modest changes as
GDP increased slightly from 7.08% to 7,24% meanwhile inflation’s number figure for inflation dropped by
1% after reaching 4% in 2002. However, they showed great a difference since the inflation exceeded
GDP by getting 9.5%, which was approximately more 2% than GDP (7.7%). However, it decreased swiftly

and met at 8,4%, being equivalent with GDP and then the two went on their separated paths. To be
exact, the inflation declined to 6,6% in 2006 and climbed suddenly in the next two years. However, GDP
ultimately leveled off and fell to 6,23% at the same time.


On the whole, the statistics shows that GDP and the inflation’s amount seemed to always have significant
distances. Though it was inflation that was less than GDP in 2001, whereas in 2008 (không nên dùng
whereas ở đây vì câu đang đi theo mạch của mệnh đề “though”), they so far were not different since it
even made a change to be higher.
Band: 6.0
Comment:
-

Nắm được cách làm bài Writing Task 1
Mô tả và so sánh sô liệu khá tốt.
Cần chú ý hơn cách dùng từ, và dùng cấu trúc câu diễn tả ý rõ ràng hơn.

Task 2
In this century we now live, it has become greatly drastic in choices, exposing exposed by the picture of
people that have many ways to demonstrate their own ability. Some will be dropping dropped out from
school to work for employers, some go to applied science university to study fully about the job they
would like to do in the future. And because of several methods you can choose to make in your own
routine, there is an increasing argument regarding to Vietnamese graduates, whether they should earn
more experiences or the certificate is enough for employers ’s demand. This essay is going to analyze the
phenomenon and my idea will be delivered through the paragraph. (nên chỉ ra luôn quan điểm của mình)
On one hand, when you are able to go to educational institution, it is a great opportunity that you learn
professionally about your job. Next, you know the processes, the risk and the other experience or the new
approach the world has discovered. Concurrently, in the knowledgeable environment, it supplies with
greater chances to meet demands of large companies. For instance, with all the lessons you have
prepared and learnt in university, it is easy to manipulate the machine or how the business works, which

brings better results for your job.
On other hand, working experience also helps you with benefits. As can be seen as a the explanation for
this thesis essay, we all see that with practicing in practical situations, people seem to gradually get to be
familiar with works and apply or produce new inventions as it elicits every process by real pictures you
have to face and learn to use for days. That is the fast we could study better that is the way we could
study fast and better and aren’t are not confused when it comes to reality. For example, you may learn in
the book about the new machine that when you have never tried, it would lead to difficulties in the time
you meet it. However, if you sometimes have a chance to work with it, your ability will be much easy to
handle. You will find it much easier to handle.
In conclusion, I do not agree in both views which we should ultimately learn or seek for working
experiences. In my opinion, I suggest that people ought to mingle two approaches to not only render our
job better but also give us full knowledges.
Band: 5.5
Comment:
- Nắm được cách làm bài
- Bố cục rõ ràng.
- Cần luyện tập viết câu súc tích và chính xác về ngữ pháp hơn.


27. Lê Quang Thái
Task 1
The information of Vietnamese economy (2001-2008), include the GDP and inflation rate, is presented in
the chart.
It is clear that after 9 years, the GDP rate was slight reduction witnessed a slight reduction, while the
inflation rate rocketed remarkably.
We can see that there was a gradual increase in the rate of the GDP between 2001 and 2005. It climbed
from 6.89% to 8.4% before almost keeping constant in 2 years later (exclude a minimal fall in 2006, by
0.33%). Suddenly, this rate declined rapidly to 6.23% until 2008.
About (Thay bằng When it comes to, không dùng About đứng đầu câu) inflation rate, it was really
complicated with fluctuations in this period. Starting at the lowest point (0.8%), it went up and down

constantly from that to 2006 (6.6%). Next 2 years, surprisingly, that rate growth was up dramatically by
13.29%.
Band: 4.0
Comment:
-

Có nắm được bố cục bài viết.
Bài còn sơ sài, chưa đủ số lượng từ
Chú ý cách dùng từ, ôn luyện viết câu và đoạn văn nhiều hơn nữa.

Task 2
Today target of education in universities or colleges is to satisfy demands of work. Normally, employers
often request candidates who is are graduates having to have good experiences. Actually, it’s it is very
hard so they should spend time training their new employees.
It’s not wrong when someone says that Vietnamese graduated graduates tend to lack work experiences.
There are many reasons causing that. First of all, in study time, student does not have much nay
opportunity to approach real work. They take the majority of time in class for studying due to heavy
program or do not get enough support. Secondly, they often are studied often study basically but
employers request candidates or employers who to have insightful experiences. Because of them, it is
really necessary to train more for graduates.
However, their quality can completely meet employers’ demands. In class, they study a lot of knowledge,
but just lack experiences. To add that In addition/ Moreover, they only need more time. In fact, when
studying, students have a little experience, thank for from experiments, projects or seminars. They also
read lots of things, practice many times in real conditions for getting data. On the other hand, training
more for them is not difficult, because they are young so rapidly, they can understand easily and work
smoothly.
In general, graduates really lack work experiences, but we need patience. They need time for more
training or lessons or practicing in new and deep work.
band: 4.5
Comment:

- Hiểu bố cục và cách viết bài.


- Cần chú ý hơn cách dùng từ và diễn đạt.
- Bạn nên đọc thêm nhiều bài mẫu writing task 2 và luyện viết thêm.

28. Đặng Tiến Lâm
Task 2
It is true that in terms of experience, Vietnamese students still do not have are not qualified enough to
meet the expectation of hires employers. However, this is can be seen at different angles, many students
believe they could work confidently with their background knowledge. Let discuss both of views Không
nên đưa câu này vào bài viết học thuật.
On the on hand, I completely agreed agree with the idea about that Vietnamese students have lacked of
experience experience because of several reasons. Fristly firstly, in university, they were taught a lot of
abstract knowledge, which is almost unsuable unusual in reality, even more some subjects that they
learned doesn't does not keep up with the world fulled full of chanllenging challenges. Secondly, working
in reality fields combines a great deal of skills, such as : dealing with problems, teamworking... These
valuable skills seem to not to be provided us while learning in univesity. in other world. things we learned
from university is just a basic intellectual skill.
on the other hand. many students do A.
Band: 3.0
- Chưa biết cách viết bài.
- Bạn cần luyện tập và ôn tập lại nhiều về ngữ pháp và cách viết câu, từ.

29. Bùi Thị Hà My
Task 1
The provided line chart compares the proportion of GDP and inflation rate from 2001 to 2008 of Vietnam’s
economy.
It is generally observed that while the percentage of GDP is steadily decrease steadily decreased,
inflation rate is wildly fluctuate wildly fluctuated. (Cần phân biệt được thì chủ động và bị động, chú ý thì

động từ)
Looking at GDP first, at the beginning it is was about 6.89% then year by year the rate slightly goes up.
The highest percentage is 8.48% in 2007 but then a year later it is a sharp fall to 6.23%.
With regard to inflation rate, the proportion during the first six years changes dramatically. It waves up
and down wildly from 3% to 9.5% but then falls to 6.6% in 2006. It is an amazingly growth during the last
2 year: it rockets to get the peak at 19.89%.
Band: 3.0
Comment:


-

Phải thật chú ý tới thì động từ, vì những thông tin trong bài là ở trong quá khứ nên bạn phải dùng
thì quá khứ đơn.
Bài viết còn sơ sài.

Task 2
Generally, after four years at university students now can bravely go with their own self to find a job by
themselves. While some people are still not so sure about it due to the fact that experiences of work is
are lacking, there are opinions who strongly believe students are able to get the demands of employers.
Many reasons could be used to prove the first opinion is right. We easily observe that students tend to
spend more time on books than on real situations so that they can not cannot apply those knowledge into
practice. Some are lazy to get a part- time job or join in a club or an organization. As the result, a number
of young people are not 100% confident to get a job after four years.
But besides, some students are very well- prepared. Although they do not have much time to practice at
school, they find it by themselves through various kinds of activity: not only getting a part- time job but
also sign in participating in plenty of competitions. The idea of being better after every day pushes them
to move forwards and complete themselves. There is no doubt that they are easily hunted by employers
because of their experience and knowledge.
The core factor here is not about universities with their poor facilities and spaces for students to practice

but about students themselves. If they want to have a well- paid job or even run their own business, they
must be self- conscious. If they do have any plan to get experiences and still burn their time doing waste
waste their time, the future seems grey for them.
Knowing the way and methods to get the future is not a simple task. Teachers should also give advice to
the students so that hopefully many more will change their attitudes and be effective with not only their
study but also their experience.
Band: 4.0
Comment:
-

Bạn cần tìm hiểu thêm về các dạng bài và cách viết bài IELTS Writing task 2.
Ôn lại ngữ pháp, cách viết câu và đọc thêm nhiều sample essays và luyện tập thêm.