Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria instructed by british council

Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

I. INTRODUCTION
REASONS FOR CHOOSING THE TOPIC
In the integration era, English has become an indispensable part of life and
work as well. Therefore, the importance of studying English is undeniable. There
are various reasons why a student needs to study this language. However, over
many researched practices, most students want to learn English to be able to speak,
not to write. Nevertheless, learning writing skill is an important aspect of learning
English and improving writing skills of high school students is extremely crucial
because being able to write a paragraph effectively provides them with high score
in writing section which is one of the most important parts in high school
graduation examination. Therefore, teaching them how to write a good paragraph
accelerates their English studies for the exam, and they are more likely to get
higher scores as well. Besides, some examinations taken by education and training
departments for English talented students also require some extents of being fluent
in writing. Having good writing skills helps those pupils to be able to write
effectively in a specific time limit. Another important reason is that in the far future
when young students become potential candidates in job market, employers
definitely need them be able to write an English document such as sending an
email to foreign partners. Such highly competitive markets force graduates to have
high level of English competence to communicate efficiently with foreigners
whilst working. The last but not least is that improving writing skills is very
important for students who want to study aboard. According to IIE (International
Institute education) in 2015, the number of Vietnamese student coming to the
United States increased significantly to about 20,000 students, a rise of about 12%
in comparison with the last year, 2014 [1].This means, the demand to study abroad
in such educationally potential markets such as United States or United Kingdom.
However, such English native countries like those have accepted IELTs results
which demonstrates the learners’ English ability.

I have been teaching English at Bim Son High School for more than ten
years. Through teaching experience, I realize that many students face up with a
number of challenging factors despite full guiding steps for writing, and most of
them are unable to write a paragraph effectively. They have responded in a
negative attitude towards writing, and many of them have said to their teacher that
they would bypass the skills in almost examinations. As a teacher of English, I
have been trying hard to an effective way to tackle it. For the apparent reasons
expressed above, I decided to choose ‘Teaching high school students to write a
paragraph by using 4 criteria instructed by British Council’ as a topic for my
study in high school program.
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School

1


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School

2


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

II. CONTENT.
PART 1: THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL BACKGROUND
1.1 What are meant by the 4 criteria of British Council
British Council has extremely clear instruction by which a piece of writing
can be evaluated correctly. Particularly, British Council has been the organization
to hold IELTS test which represents for International English Language Test
System [2]. Those criteria are ‘Task Achievement’; ‘Coherence and Cohesion’;
‘Lexical Resource’; ‘Grammatical Range and Accuracy’. There are over 40
countries around the world where IELTS test is received an official approval as an
English standard for people who want to study or work in English native countries.
These criteria are used to evaluate IELTS test takers’ performances in two tasks. In
the writing task 2, candidates need to write at least 250 words about a specific
topic which might be an argumentative or discursive. Although in the real IELTS
test, all candidates must write a 250-word essay, the criteria used to evaluate the
quality of an essay are definitely the same to that for a paragraph. Using these
criteria to apply for Vietnamese English national high school graduation
examination not only helps teacher to assess exam takers’ competency but also
supports pupils to study more effectively. According to British Council, all criteria
are meant as follow: [3]
 Task Achievement: this is the criterion used to evaluate how well a writing
respond to the task. This criterion also includes how sufficient the length of a
writing to the requirement. Generally speaking, the length of a writing task 2 in
IELTS for an essay is at least 250 words. Therefore, the score of a candidate will
increase if she or he:
+ Pay attention to answer ALL issues in the task question
+ Write about the issues rather than just the general topic
+ Answer the question with relevant main points
+ Plan the supporting points so they do not go off the topic
+ Write over 250 words for an essay
 Coherence and Cohesion: This criterion contains of two smaller criteria

which are coherence and cohesion. The coherence evaluates how the paragraph
links with the topic. That means all the sentences and words are required to be
topic-related. However, cohesion needs a candidate to write sentences and ideas
very logically. By following the cohesion criterion, all sentences need to be
connected together and be supportive each other to make high understanding for
readers. Therefore, the score for this criterion will increase if a candidate could:

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School

3


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

+ Have appropriate structure: In IELTS tests, whole essay should be explained
into 4 to 5 small paragraph. However, applying this into the Vietnamese national
high school graduation examination means that a paragraph should be presented
appropriately by starting a topic sentence to fold the whole meaning of paragraph
about what the candidate is going to write. This sentence should be followed by
supporting sentences, and the paragraphs should end with a concluding sentence.
+ Organizing ideas logically: for readers to easily understand.
+ Use a range of linking words to connect sentences ideas.
+ Avoid errors in linking words.
 Lexical Resource: This is criterion used to assess the ability of using wide
range of vocabulary. Candidate is required to not only use less common and topicrelated words (at academic and formal level) in correct contexts but also use many
synonyms to demonstrate the paraphrasing ability. Therefore, the score for this
criterion will increase if a candidate could:

+ Pay attention to collocations (which verb matches which nouns)
+ Paraphrase carefully to avoid errors
+ Use a range of words appropriate for the topic
+ Spell words correctly and avoid making errors
+ Avoid using informal and spoken language
 Grammatical Range and Accuracy: the ability of use various complex
grammar and structures of candidates. The more complicated but accurate structure
a candidate can use, the higher score she or he can get. Therefore, the score for this
criterion will increase if a candidate could:
+ Use different grammar tenses (conditionals, perfect tenses, passive voice,
past tenses, future tenses, etc.)
+ Pay attention to word order in the sentences correctly
+ Use a range of sentence structures
+ Use the correct punctuation (full stops and commas)
+ Avoid errors in grammar (errors will lower the score – see the descriptor
below).
+ Correct using of articles, plural nouns, uncountable nouns and so on
+ Using complex sentences such as ‘while’, ‘because’, ‘although’, and so on.

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School

4


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

IELTS band writing descriptors [4]

Band

Task Achievement
- fully addresses all parts of the
task

9

8

Coherence and Cohesion

Grammatical Range
and accuracy

- skillfully manages
paragraphing

- uses a wide range of
vocabulary with very natural
and sophisticated control of
lexical features; rare minor
errors occur only as ‘slips’

- uses a wide range of
structures with full
flexibility and accuracy;
rare minor errors occur
only as ‘slips’

- sufficiently addresses all parts
of the task

- sequences information
and ideas

- uses a wide range of
vocabulary

- uses a wide range of
structures

- presents a well-developed
response to the question with
relevant, extended and supported
ideas

- logically

- fluently and flexibly to
convey precise meanings

- the majority of
sentences are error-free

- skillfully uses uncommon
lexical items but there may be
occasional inaccuracies in
word choice and collocation

- makes only very
occasional errors or
inappropriateness

- presents a fully developed
position in answer to the question
with relevant, fully extended and
well supported ideas

- uses cohesion in such a
way that it attracts no
attention

Lexical Resource

- manages all aspects of
cohesion well
- uses paragraphing
sufficiently and
appropriately

- produces rare errors in
spelling and/or word
formation
7

- addresses all parts of the task
- presents a clear position
throughout the response

Trịnh Kim Đào

- logically organizes
information and ideas;
there is clear progression

- uses a sufficient range of
vocabulary to allow some
flexibility and precision

Bim Son High School

- uses a variety of
complex structures
- produces frequent


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

- presents, extends and supports
main ideas, but there may be a
tendency to over generalize and/or
supporting ideas may lack focus

throughout
- uses a range of cohesive
devices appropriately
although there may be
some under-/over-use

- presents a clear central
topic within each
paragraph

- addresses all parts of the task
although some parts may be more
fully covered than others
- presents a relevant position
although the conclusions may
become unclear or repetitive
6

- presents relevant main ideas but
some may be inadequately
developed/unclear

- arranges information and
ideas coherently and there
is a clear overall
progression
- uses cohesive devices
effectively, but cohesion
within and/or between
sentences may be faulty or
mechanical

- uses less common lexical
items with some awareness of
style and collocation

error-free sentences

- uses an adequate range of
vocabulary for the task

- uses a mix of simple
and complex sentence
forms

- has good control of
grammar and punctuation
- may produce occasional
but may make a few
errors in word choice, spelling errors
and/or word formation

- attempts to use less
common vocabulary but with
some inaccuracy
- makes some errors in
spelling and/or word
formation, but they do not
impede communication

- makes some errors in
grammar and punctuation
but they rarely reduce
communication

- may not always use

referencing clearly or
appropriately
- uses paragraphing, but
not always logically
5

- addresses the task only
partially; the format may be

Trịnh Kim Đào

- presents information
- uses a limited range of
with some organization but vocabulary, but this is
Bim Son High School

- uses only a limited
range of structures


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

inappropriate in places
- expresses a position but the
development is not always clear
and there may be no conclusions
drawn
- presents some main ideas but
these are limited and not

sufficiently developed; there may
be irrelevant detail

there may be a lack of
overall progression

minimally adequate for the
task

- makes inadequate,
inaccurate or over use of
cohesive devices

- may make noticeable errors
in spelling and/or word
formation that may cause
some difficulty for the reader

- may be repetitive
because of lack of
referencing and
substitution
- may not write in
paragraphs, or
paragraphing may be
inadequate

4

- responds to the task only in a

minimal way or the answer is
tangential; the format may be
inappropriate
- presents a position but this is
unclear

- presents information and
ideas but these are not
arranged coherently and
there is no clear
progression in the response

- uses some basic
cohesive devices but these
- presents some main ideas but
may be inaccurate or
these are difficult to identify and
may be repetitive, irrelevant or not repetitive
well supported
- may not write in
paragraphs or their use
Trịnh Kim Đào

- uses only basic vocabulary
which may be used
repetitively or which may be
inappropriate for the task
- has limited control of word
formation and/or spelling;
errors may cause strain for the

reader

Bim Son High School

attempts complex
sentences but these tend
to be less accurate than
simple sentences
- may make frequent
grammatical errors and
punctuation may be
faulty; errors can cause
some difficulty for the
reader

- uses only a very
limited range of
structures with only rare
use of subordinate
clauses
- some structures are
accurate but errors
predominate, and
punctuation is often
faulty


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

may be confusing

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

1.2. Factual situation
Statistics have proved that the students in high school program do not have
high level of English ability. In the 2015 national high school graduation
examination, the result for English subject was shocked when the number of pupils
who had the mark below the average was significantly high, shown in following
graph. [5]
Number of pupils
80000
7 4151
68931

70000
60000
50000

50509

47 518

40000

31415

30000

21584

20000
0

157 44
12228

11131

10000
0

165

11

0.5

883

1

1.5

2

2.5

3

3.5

4

4.5

5

5.5

6

10000 8218
67 13 5646 47 30
3630 257 7
988

6.5

7

7.5

8

8.5

9

59

9.5 10

Column1

Figure 1 English marks in the 2015 National high school graduation exam
Source: The Ministry of Education and Training (MOET) 2015
The most important factual situation that hastens me to choose this topic very
urgently is that the English writing ability of pupils in Bim Son high school is
extremely limited. In the school year 2018-2019 I was in charge of classes: 12A1,
12A5, 11B1, 11B3 in academic year 2018-2019. Because writing a paragraph is
not included in the paper of GCSE examination , most students do not like writing
skills. It can be seen through the results of the surveys I conducted about the
student’s attitude toward the writing lesson before the study:
School year 2017-2018
Classes

Number
students
11B1
37
11B5
40
School year 2018-2019

of Number
of Number
of Number
of
students like
students dislike
students hate
8
16
13
18
17
5

Classes

of Number
of Number
of Number
of
students like
students dislike
students hate
2
16
19
10
19
10

12A1
12A5

Number
students
37
39

Through teaching experience, I have realized that most of them are unable to
write a paragraph effectively. The reason for this bad situation is that they have not
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

been coached to write effectively by their teachers, and they find it absolutely
difficult to organize their writing. They lack of general knowledge, which leads to
the inability to figure out the ideas for specific topic. They lack of both grammar
and vocabulary to convey their thoughts into paragraphs. Therefore, each writing
lesson of teachers and pupils are usually stressful because it is inefficiently taught
when pupils just feel very disappointed about their writing skills, and they seem to
be indifferent to writing skills.
PART 2: SOLUTION
It is very important to understand that in order to improve writing skills, both
teachers and pupils have to cooperate closely and continuously. On the scale of this
research, I have been taking more than 2 months constantly coaching learners in
two classes: 11B1, 11B5 (2018) and 12A1, 12A5 (2019). These classes are the

ones whose students particularly focus on English, so writing class activities seem
to be carried out quite propitiously. I have been implementing a close process in
which pupils are trained continuously and intensively, especially when the national
high school graduation examination is coming soon. I found that the traditional
approaches usually teaching students to write a sentence and then build up to a
finished paragraph. However, in this study, I have a quite reverse process in which
I initially teach students by giving them a sample to follow and then I analyze it in
details very clearly so that they are able to understand thoroughly the structure and
the criteria required of an excellent paragraph. As a result, after at least four
repeated process, especially being stressed on analyzing in detail the given sample,
students will gradually find it easier and more enthusiastic to write a paragraph.
The process includes five main steps as follow:

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

- Step 1: The step is giving students a writing sample which is written by the
coach as a very good example to answer the writing task. In this step, I always give
them some minutes to read the sample given.
- Step 2: This step provides them with clear analysis on the paragraph.
Followed by the four criteria, pupils are all coached to understand each criterion
and showed why and how the sample meets all the criteria to get a high score. By
doing this, they are able to understand immediately and constantly absorb these
important factors.
- Step 3: After being educated to understand the writing sample given the

teacher, all students are required to re-write the task so that they show how many
percent that they could understand the teacher’s analysis. This step helps them to
memorize what have they been taught to write, and they are more likely to
gradually imitate the way to write an academic writing with high competence.
- Step 4: although they are given a clear analysis on the sample paragraph,
their writing might contain various mistakes, including spelling mistakes,
grammatical mistakes, and styling mistakes. However, with the step of correction,
all these kinds of mistakes are corrected just-in-time precisely. Therefore, pupils
would definitely improve their writing ability.
- Step 5: After all pupils’ paragraphs are corrected, they are given more
consulting samples from the teachers so that they could have rich and prestigious
writing materials. They may keep these materials as an important resource to read
after to absorb the grammar and vocabulary as well as they way to organize a
paragraph.
Accordingly, there are various class activities which can be used to support
writing skills, especially writing an excellent paragraph as the initiatives through
teaching experience as follow:
2.1 Activity 1: Analysis excellent paragraph samples given by the teacher
with the four criteria. [6]
The aim of this activity is to show students the way how to analyze a good
paragraph. Therefore, all students in the class are given a topic to write a paragraph
so that the teacher will be able to investigate their improvement process
accompanied by schoolbook.
Orde
r

Lesson’s name

1

Home life

2

Cultural diversity

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Activities given – write a paragraph about
The importance of family in personal life?
Why do we have to protect cultural heritages?
Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

3

Ways of
socializing

The importance of social relationship to a person’s
success?

4

School education
system

The importance of studying English?

5

Higher education

Is a bachelor’s degree indispensable in one’s life?

6

Future jobs

-What are the qualities does a good employee have?
- Which job would you like to do in the future?

7

Economic reforms What are the elements of a high quality life?

8

Life in the future

What is the ideal world in the future in your point of
view?

9

Deserts

10

Endangered
species

-What are the reasons for environmental pollution?

11

Books

The importance of reading books in a person’s life?

12

Water sports

What are the benefits of doing sports?

13

The 22nd Sea
Games

Describe a popular festival/ a sports event in your
country?

14

International

Organization

An international organization that you would like to
work for?

15

Women in society

The ways to ensure equal right of women in modern
society?

16

The Association of What should be done by the government and each
Southeast Asian individual to build a strong association?
Nations

What are the factors that caused desert?
-What measures should be taken to protect
endangered species?

The following six samples based on the six themes which are designed in
accordance with the topics of sixteen units in the textbook of English 12 are given
as good examples to analyzing a high score paragraph so that students are coached
to build their own ones which can meet the marking criteria used by ministry of
education and training.
SAMPLE 1 : THEME 1: YOU AND ME

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

Within 140 words write a paragraph about the importance of social
relationships a person’s success.
Here is sample written by the class teacher as a very good example:
There is no doubt that in the world which has become more and more
integrated, social relationships make such a considerable contribution to our
achievements. To begin with, when surrounded by many relationships, it is likely
that we can lead a more active and meaningful life. To illustrate, not only does it
help us escape from isolation, loneliness and relieve stress through hanging out,
chatting and talking with friends, but it brings to us opportunities to take part in
social activities as well. Each and everyone of us, therefore, can realize the
meaning of life and feel more energetic and sociable to keep moving forward.
Secondly, it is also social relationships that boost our career prospects. For
example, if we desire to be successful start-uppers, we will absolutely need a lot of
financial help, support and even cooperation. At that time, having good
relationships will be a distinct advantage that we can attract more investors,
consumers and markets. Last but not least, it is extremely helpful to make friends
with those who are talented and experienced with great ambitions. They can
transfer their passion to us and motivate us believe in ourselves and be confident
to pursue our dreams. What’s more, we also will be given such amazing advice and
stories about their career path. To sum up, social relationships are obviously
advantageous, so all of us should develop and make them long-lasting to gain
massive success”
The following is the detail analysis of the strength of the topic to show why it

is very effective and high-score paragraph:
 Task response: the task is about the importance of social relationships and
the paragraph shows three clear reasons to demonstrate this. However, the ideas are
followed by supporting sentences so that readers can easily understand what the
writer wants to talk about. All these main points are relevant to the topic and are
not off-topic.
 Coherence and Cohesion: All the sentences in the paragraph are presented
very clearly from topic sentence to concluding sentence.Three linking word
phrases are used effectively to express three ideas in order, which are ‘To begin
with’; ‘Secondly’; ‘Last but not least’. Also, these ideas are followed by other
linking words in supporting sentences. For example, the phrase ‘To illustrate’ is
used to explain more on the first idea, while ‘For example’ and ‘What’s more’ are
used to clear the second and the third ideas.
 Lexical resource: The vocabulary written in the paragraph is evaluated by
two factors which are ‘academically used’ (less common words) and ‘correctly
used’ (in the sentences with true collocations or contexts). There are various words
and phrases that are topic-related such as ‘integrated’; ‘active and meaningful life’;
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

‘social activities’; ‘energetic and sociable’; ‘support and even cooperation’;
‘massive success’, and so on. Moreover, the paragraph also contains many
academic and less common words in good collocations like ‘considerable
contribution’; ‘achievement’; ‘escape from isolation, loneliness and relieve stress’;
‘boost our career prospects’; ‘successful start-uppers’; ‘talented and experienced

with great ambitions’; ‘pursue our dreams’ and so on.
 Grammatical range: Various kinds of grammar, structures, and sentences
are used in the paragraph as following:
+ Complex sentences: when, because, but, so, etc.,
+Relative clause: that, which
+ Conditional sentence: ‘if we desire to be successful start-uppers, we will
absolutely need a lot of financial help, support and even cooperation’
+ Model verb: will, can, should
+ Passive voice: ‘when SURROUNDED by many relationships’
+ Gerund as a noun: ‘HAVING good relationships will be a distinct
advantage that we can attract more investors, consumers and markets’
SAMPLE 2: THEME 2: COMMUNITY
Write a paragraph (about 140 words) about the ideal world in the future in
your point of view.
Here is sample written by the class teacher as a very good example:
“My ideal world in the future would be far better than it is today. We will be
living in a much cleaner environment with fresher air, healthier food and less
pollution. Especially, endangered species will be protected and be no longer under
threat of extinction. Besides, with the development of technology, robots will do
most of the work in factories and even at home. It will cook delicious meals, clean
the house, do laundry, washing up and childcare. Another important feature of a
fantastic world is that it would be a peaceful one when people live in a society of
no wars, no conflicts, or terrorism, and human being will be living in harmony
where each country has their own independence. Lastly, my main wish of the
marvelous world is to witness people less violent, less materialistic and more
warm-hearted than they are now. In conclusion, our society needs doing many
things to make our world worth living and more wonderful”.
The following is the detail analysis of the strength of the topic to show why it
is very effective and high-score paragraph:
 Task response: whole paragraph fully answered and responded to the topic

which is about an ideal world in the future. There are four main reasons are wellsupported to answer the task in an appropriate way.
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

 Coherence and cohesion: in order to make the paragraph more effective
and easy to follow, the teacher did list out the main points of a wonderful world.
By using linking words such as ‘it will be’; ‘besides’; ‘moreover’; ‘Another’
important feature of a fantastic world is that, the follow of the paragraph and the
way of explaining ideas are very easy to understand. The readers, especially the 45
students coached, are more likely to be able to absorb the effective writing style.
The paragraph also consists of topic sentence, controlling sentences to expand
ideas and concluding sentence to fold the task correctly.
 Vocabulary: All the vocabulary used are very well-linked with the topic
given such as ‘cleaner environment’; ‘fresher air’; ‘endangered species’; ‘under the
threat of extinction’; ‘the development of technology’; ‘conflicts, or terrorism’;
‘independence’, ‘violent, less materialistic’ or so on. Furthermore, it uses various
synonyms to demonstrate the word choice ability and wide range of lexical
vocabulary. For example, instead of repeating the word ‘ideal’, teacher used other
synonyms such as ‘wonderful’; ‘fantastic’; ‘marvelous’, ‘worth living’. There are
also some less common words being used like ‘harmony’; ‘conflict’; ‘terrorism’;
‘marvelous’; ‘less materialistic’; ‘violent’; ‘kind-hearted’ and ‘worth living’
 Grammatical range and accuracy: Because the task is to talk about an
ideal world in the future, teacher tends to use future tenses to indicate the future
time. Besides, comparative sentences, model verb sentences; passive voice are
used correctly.

SAMPLE 3 : THEME 3: NATURE
Write a paragraph about the reasons for environmental pollution (about
140 words).
Here is sample written by the class teacher as a very good example:
“There are various reasons so as to the fact that our living environment is
getting dramatically contaminated. One of the most fundamental reasons is that
there is a number of factories and industrial zones built, releasing a huge amount
of waste and toxic emissions into the air. As a result, the level of harmful
substances in the atmosphere in such areas particularly increases. Another reason
worth mentioning is the lack of public awareness about protecting environment.
For instance, many scientific researchers have revealed that many tropical forests
have been destroyed due to people’s beneficial activities. As a consequence, the
ecosystem is being considerably affected, and plants which contribute to climate
control or reduce air temperature by blocking sunlight are on the verge of
extinction. Therefore, governments and individuals need to take prompt action to
tackle the environmental contamination effectively.”
The following is the detail analysis of the strength of the topic to show why it
is very effective and high-score paragraph:
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

 Task response: The paragraph contains 139 words which is long enough,
and it is presented in a appropriate way. It also presents a fully developed position
in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas.
 Coherence and cohesion: All the ideas and sentences as well as words are

very supportive to the topic, which means that it meets the requirement of
coherence. Furthermore, sentences are well connected by various linking words
and phrases such as ‘One of the most fundamental reasons is that’; ‘as a result’;
‘another reason worth mentioning is that’; ‘as a consequence’ and so on. All these
linking words and phrases help the paragraph being explained very logically. Topic
sentence is also quoted in the beginning of the paragraph so that the readers could
be able to understand what is going to be talked about next.
 Vocabulary: The paragraph consists of a wide range of vocabulary which is
very topic-related and academic. The words such as ‘dramatically contaminated’;
‘factories and industrial zones’; ‘harmful substances’; ‘public awareness’;
‘protecting environment’; ‘tropical forests’; ‘beneficial activities’; ‘ecosystem’;
‘climate control’; ‘on the verge of extinction’; ‘tackle environmental
contamination’ are at very high academic level and less common words. However,
these words are also used in correct contexts efficiently. Therefore, the score for
this criterion is very high. Besides, the writer strongly recognized to use various
synonym words such as ‘polluted’ and ‘contaminated’; ‘fundamental’ and ‘worth
mentioning’; ‘environment’ and ‘ecosystem’ or ‘atmosphere’ and so on.
 Grammatical range and accuracy: Most of the sentences used are complex
sentences with high level of grammar and structure. For example, passive voice,
reduced relative clauses; or adverb phrases are appropriately used.
2.2. Activity 2: Teaching students how to explain ideas for a topic [8]
While writing a paragraph, it is extremely difficult to write a topic in a limited
time effectively unless pupils do know how to expand their ideas. The activity of
class will be giving students the way to think quickly and explain ideas effectively
for a specific topic. These ways are:
- Let’s think about the reasons for any ideas: After getting a good idea, many
pupils find it hard to explain it in more detail. The answer is that they should think
about the reason why the idea is. For example, when given a topic about
environmental pollution, they think about the reason of having too much factories
built. However, this is just an idea for the topic and they do not know how to

explain on that. Therefore, they are guided to think about WHY it is? Why many
factories can cause environmental pollution? These kinds of questions may push
them to think quickly that because these factories release huge amount of toxic
emmission into the air, or it release unrecycled waste in to the air. As a results,
pupils are able to write another sentence to explain the idea.
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

- Let’s think about the examples to demonstrate for the idea: One of the most
effective way to write a sentence after topic sentence or controlling idea is giving
an example to support the writer’s view. Students are taught to be able to give
specific example for any ideas. By doing this, they would understand the way to
lengthen their explanation to appropriate amount of words, as well as meets all the
requirements to aim high scores.
- Let’s think about the consequences of the problem. By thinking about this,
any ideas that come out might have some following consequences. For example,
when doing a topic about the reasons for environment pollution, if a student gets an
idea that the reason for the problem is because of industrialization and
modernisation, he or she will be taught to estimate the results or the consequences
of this process. Therefore, he or she could know how to write further by giving
some effects of this process. For instance, the students could write about the
quality of people’s life or the dangerous diseases might be happened as the result
of environmental pollution.
All the ways mentioned above not only help high school students to write
quickly more sentences but also ensures their paragraph is well-linked.

Every small writing mistake can be figured out by the teachers and they, in
turn, would be able to give reasonable advice for their pupils.
2.3. Activity 3: Interactive discussions.
With the understanding that pupils’ writing skills has closed relationship with
the firm background knowledge about different kinds of topics.The aim of this
activity is to provide them with ideas and over view about the topic. So, in the
class, students are gradually given 16 topics along with 16 lessons in school
textbook. In each lesson, teacher gives a writing topic related to the lesson for
students to think about and discuss. By doing that they could absorb the knowledge
about the field from other students and their teacher. These discussed writing topics
together with above other activities will provide them with ability to understand
problems of life from which they would easily get ideas for any topics given in the
national high school graduation examination. By giving these topics to students to
discuss, they are able to understand more and more likely to be familiar with topic
while taking the test. As a result, they would do the test with more confidents.
2.4. Activity 4: Cooperative writing. [9]
The aim of this activity is to improve the ability of using various grammar and
structure of students. Therefore, each group which contains 8-10 students will be
given to write a story with a specific of requirement as follow:
Order
Trịnh Kim Đào

Story/topic

Vocabulary and Grammatical
requirements
Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria

instructed by British Council

1

Describe a special
person you met

Past tenses; relative clause; using many
adjectives to talk about a person’s
characteristics.

2

Describe a place you
want to visit

Present simple tense; relative clause;
linking words; adjectives to describe a
place.

3

Describe an object you
want to buy if you have
money

Conditional sentences; future tenses;
complex sentences; topic-related
vocabulary.

4

Describe a building that
you know

Present tenses; comparative sentences;
simple sentences

5

Describe a person you
admire

Model verbs; would; wish; conditional
sentences

6

Describe an event you
want to join

Sequencing vocabulary(firstly, secondly,
and so on); because; due to; passive voice

7

Describe an animal you
like

Relative clause (which, whose, that); not

only/but also; although; while; prepositions
(on, at, in)

8

Describe a special gift
someone gave you

Past tenses; relative clause (who, whose,
when)

By giving the above 8 topics of description, students are required to use wide range
of vocabulary and bear grammatical issues in their mind effectively. Besides, after
working in groups, students are also required to give comments and feedback to
other groups so that all of them could not only understand how to describe
something but understand topic-related grammar and structure.
PART 3: RESULTS AND DICUSSION
After being shown the four criteria to mark writing score, over the past two
years teaching students how to use those effectively, there has been a significant
change in the way that pupils write, and their scores marked by the teacher in the
class tests improved dramatically. The teacher evaluates their writing performances
by comparing some aspects before and after students are guided to do that.
Besides, based on the actual results in the writing tests which have been taken
within Bim Son High school over the period of more than 80 pupils that I have
been teaching.
One of the most noticeable results recorded is the percentage of pupils last
year had score
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School

Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

- Task response:
%
100
90
80
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
0

86

80
71

43

51

43

38

12
Off topic

Ideas ability
Before

Word sufficience

Supporting ideas

After

Figure 2 Ability of finishing task response criterion
Over the period of only about two months and a half coaching, students are
able to deal with and understand the topic given. Specifically, just only more than
10% of students are off-topic after being guided, in comparison with up to more
than 40% of them used to be off-topic, a significant change of about 30%.
Statistics surveyed also reveals that the percentage of students who are able to
write enough words, brainstorm to get ideas or explain them by supporting ideas
increased dramatically to about 85%, 80% and 70% respectively.
- Coherence and cohesion:

Figure 3 Coherence and Cohesion analysis
On this criterion, I have evaluated the improvement process of students
through three other smaller criterion which are the ability of using linking words,
the ability of explain ideas logically, and the ability of writing controlling phrases
to link topic sentence with other sentences. Overall, these skills are all significantly
improved over the period of time. However, while the abilities of using linking

words and explaining coherently are the most dramatic changes, with the rise of
about 40%, a smaller change was experienced in capability of using controlling
phrases, just about 25%.
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

- Lexical range vocabulary:
Over more than 2 months coaching, using academic vocabulary is the skill
which experienced the lowest improvement from students. They find it harder to
remember vocabulary at high level than understand the way to explain ideas more
logically. Therefore, just about 15% students who have improve their ability of
using high academic and less common words, as shown on the bar chart. However,
because they are taught to deal with the topic efficiently, they are significantly less
likely to use off-topic words, which means that they use more effective and topicrelated words respectively. All the figures are shown on the below bar chart:

Figure 4 Vocabulary improvement
- Grammatical structure:
Although there are a number of grammars and structures used to evaluate the
pupils’ writing performances. I take into account of six most important issues.
Generally, the ability of using various kinds of sentences have been improved
considerably. Accordingly, the most significant changes go on ability of using
different sentences, tenses and passive voice, up to 68%, 72% and 80%
respectively. The ability of using conditional sentence and comparative sentence
has also changed significantly to 87% and 73% correspondingly.

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

Ability of writing (%)
6.7

6.2

17.6
28.3

41.2
<50%

50% - 60%

60% - 75%

75% - 90%

90% - 100%

- Students’ satisfaction: before being coached to write, there were more than
70% of students finding it hard to write. However, through questionnaire
implemented as a survey of the study, the percentage decreased to only 31% and

28% in 2018 and 2019 respectively.
III. CONCLUSION
3.1 Summary
To improve the quality of teaching and learning writing skills, the preparation
of teachers prior to inspire real learning for students is necessary. Through
practical teaching of myself in applying detail analysis of the four criteria when
teaching students to be able to write an excellent paragraph, we see that it may not
be the optimal solution but it is very convenient, simple and effective. This not
only helps teachers teach more positive but also helps students actively, voluntarily
writing more. The methods I put in accordance with pupils in a difficult locality
also have obtained certain results. Writing lessons for students are no longer the
same again stress but that it is time for them to be free to discuss and learn from
friends and teachers to be able to write paragraphs with degree of English style.
They are more motivated in completing the writing tasks. In addition, they no
longer make mistakes as many as before, many of them are able to complete their
paragraphs in predetermined time and especially the poor students are also more
interested in this writing task because they have getting more and more familiar
with the way to organize a good paragraph.
3.2 Recommendations

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

After analyzing all activities carried out in the class and the results of pupils’
progress, various recommendations should be given as the petitions to Education

and Training Department as follow:
- Organizing writing contests: by organizing English writing contests within
the province, we are motivating the recognition of pupils in studying writing skills.
Besides, students who are good at writing skills are collected and trained to be
excellent in writing. This activity should also be taken to raise the students’
awareness of the importance of writing in both examinations and real life.
- Training teachers: It is indispensable that teachers are able to deeply and
totally understand these criteria so that they could inspire their learners to study.
Teachers must be trained to be able to write good consulting paragraphs for pupils
to follow. They should be also guided about official reading and writing material
from reliable resources such as British Council’s websites and books. This activity
not only improves their background about academic writing but also helps them to
coach their students more effectively. They should be trained by educational
specialists in Education and Training Department.
- Giving many standard samples to pupils: I strongly believe that in the future,
students are given qualified writing paragraphs written by talented and experienced
teachers within our province so that all students have more opportunities to
approach writing materials to study. In order to make this dream comes true in
short term, all talented and experienced should be collected to write as many
sample throughout the class book as possible. These writing paragraph samples
must be censored by Education and Training Department, and should be
considered as a high quality standard resource for students to follow and read. This
makes standard style on a large scale so that pupils would feel more confident with
examinations.
- Extra learning activities: In order to have good results of the training
process, it is essential for pupils to have more extra learning classes following the
official class time. This is because they need to be trained to understand about all
the criteria, and their paragraphs are corrected repeatedly and continuously. My
recommendation is that it should be 2 to 3 extra lessons per week with students
who are majoring in English field, and should be 1 to 2 extra lessons for the others.

- Giving reading materials: Reading skill is the input, and writing is the output
of a close process. The two has two-side relationship, and it is believed that pupils
could improve their writing skills if they have more chances to approach writing
samples written by native people. For example, in each school, we should have a
library in which English journals, newspapers and books are available for pupils to
read. These materials should be diversity with many fields in real life and provide
student with firm background knowledge about all fields. By executing this
activity and promoting students to read, they would have more ideas and would
Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

find it easier to write. They also learn the writing styles from authors in such
materials.
- Exercise writing correction activities: One of the most important activities is
correcting the mistakes that pupils should have whilst writing. Some of these
mistake students could correct by themselves after writing and take some minutes
to read. However, it is fact that although they sometimes spend minutes to read
their writing, they are not able to fix mainly because these kinds of mistakes are
out of their understanding. It is teachers who are responsible for giving them
feedback on their writing and gradually improve it.

CONFIRMATION OF HEAD MASTER

Bim Son , May 20 th, 2019
Statement of authorship

I hereby acknowledge that this
study
is mine, The date and findings
discussed in the thesis are true,
used with permission from
associates and have not been
published elsewhere.
Author
Trinh Kim Dao

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

TABLE OF CONTENT
I. INTRODUCTION

2

REASONS FOR CHOOSING THE TOPIC
II. CONTENT.
PART
1:
BACKGROUND

THEORETICAL

AND

PRACTICAL

3

1.1 What are meant by the 4 criteria of British Council
1.2. Factual situation

8

PART 2 : SOLUTION

9

2.1 Activity 1: Analysis excellent paragraph samples given by the
teacher with the four criteria.

10

2.2. Activity 2: Teaching students how to explain ideas for a topic

15

2.3 . Activity 3: Interactive discussions.

16

2.4 . Activity 4: Cooperative writing.

16

PART 3: RESULTS AND DICUSSION

17

III. CONCLUSION

20

3.1 Summary

20

3.2 Recommendations

21

Trịnh Kim Đào

Bim Son High School


Teaching high school students to write a paragraph by using 4 criteria
instructed by British Council

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[2]Cambridge

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[3]Cambridge

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ielts-simon.com. N.p., 2016. Web. 20 May 2017.

"Có Đến 77.6% Thí Sinh Dưới 5 Điểm MônTiếng Anh". Những điều cần
biết về học hành – thi cử - hướng nghiệp – tuyển sinh. N.p., 2016. Web. 20 May
2016.
[5]

Paul, Richard, Linda Elder, and Richard Paul. The Thinker's Guide To How
To Write A Paragraph. Dillon Beach, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking,
2007. Print.
[6]

Cullen, Pauline, Amanda French, and Vanessa Jakeman. The Official
Cambridge Guide To IELTS. Print.
[7]

McCarter, Sam. Academic Writing Practice For IELTS. Ford, Midlothian,
U.K.: IntelliGene, 2002. Print.
[8]

Oshima, Alice and Ann Hogue. Writing Academic English. White Plains,
NY: Pearson/Longman, 2006. Print.
[9]

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Bim Son High School