Collectors item

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Title:Collector'sItem
Author:RobertF.Young
ReleaseDate:May22,2009[EBook#28924]
Language:English

***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKCOLLECTOR'SITEM***

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We'veoftenwonderedwhatwouldhappenifRobertYoungshouldceasetobealyricallyintensewriterfora
storyortwo,forsakingthebright,poeticworldsof MISS KATY THREEand THE FIRST SWEET SLEEP OF NIGHTto
becomedispassionatelyanalyticalonacosmicscale.Nowweknow!He'dchillustothebonebysettingtwo
squixestobroodingoveranever-to-bebornEarth,exactlyashehasdonehere.Andthrillus,too—withthe
liveliestkindofentertainment.


collector's
item


by...RobertF.Young

Very trivial things can go into the weaving of a nest. The
humanrace,forinstance—

T

HECONDENSATIONofthehistoriesoftenthousandracesinto
a text concise enough to fit into a single volume had been a task of
unprecedented proportions. There had been times when the Galactic
Historianhaddoubtedwhetherevenhisrenownedabilitieswereupto
the assignment that the Galactic Board of Education had so lightly
tossed his way, times when he had thrown up his hands—all five of
them—indespair.Butatlastthecompletedmanuscriptlaybeforehim
on his desk with nothing but the final reading remaining between it
andpublication.
The Galactic Historian repeatedly wiped his brows as he turned the
pages.Itwasawarmnight,evenforMixxxSeven.Nowandthen,a
tired breeze struggled down from the hills and limped across the
lowlands to the Galactic University buildings. It crept into the
Galactic Historian's study via the open door and out again via the
openwindows,fingeringthemanuscripteachtimeitpassedbutdoing
nothingwhatsoeveraboutthetemperature.
Themanuscriptwassomethingmorethanahammered-downhistory
of galactic achievement. It was the ultimate document. The two and
seventy thousand jarring texts that it summarized had been


systematicallydestroyed,onebyone,aftertheGalacticHistorianhad
strippedthemoftheirobjectiveinformation.Ifanhistoricaleventwas
notincludedinthemanuscript,itfailedasanevent.Itceasedtohave
reality.

The responsibility was the Galactic Historian's alone and he did not
take it lightly. But he had a lot on his minds and, of late, he hadn't
been sleeping well. He was overworked and over-tired and overanxious.Hehadn'tseenhiswivesfortwoMixxxmonthsandhewas
worriedaboutthem—allfiftyofthem.
HenevershouldhaveletthemtaketheHubcruiseinthefirstplace.
Butthey'dbeensoenthusiasticandsoeagerthathesimplyhadn'thad
theheartstoletthemdown.Now,despitehisbetterjudgments,hewas
beginning to wonder if they might not be on the make for another
coordinator.
Wivestrouble,ontopofallhischronologicaltrouble,wastoomuch.
TheGalacticHistoriancouldhardlybeblamedforwantingtoseethe
last of the manuscript, for wanting to transmit it to his publishers,
potentialhiatusesandall,andtakethenextwarpfortheHub.
But he was an historian—the historian, in fact—and he persisted
heroicallyinhistask,rereadingstaleparagraphsandcheckingdreary
dates, going over battles and conquests and invasions and
interregnums. Despite his mood and despite the heat, the manuscript
probably would have arrived at his publishers chronologically
complete.Socomplete,infact,thatschoolteachersalloverthegalaxy
would have gotten the textbook they had always wanted—a concise
chronicleofeverythingthathadeverhappenedsincetheexplosionof
the primeval atom, a history textbook that no other history textbook
couldcontradictforthesimplereasonthattherewerenootherhistory
textbooks.
Asitwas,theygotthetextbook,butitdidnotcontaineverythingthat


hadeverhappened.Notquite.
Two factors were responsible for the omission. The first was an
oversightonthepartoftheGalacticHistorian.Withsomuchonhis

minds,hehadforgottentonumberthepagesofthemanuscript.
Thesecondfactorwasthebreeze.
Thebreezewastheultimatearchfiendandtherecanbenoquestionas
toitsmotivation.Nothingshortofsheermalicecouldhavecausedit
suddenly to remember its function after neglecting that function all
evening.
All evening it had been tiptoeing down the hillsides and across the
lowlandsasthoughitwasafraidofdisturbingasinglebladeofgrass
or a single drooping leaf. And then, at the crucial moment, it huffed
and puffed itself up into a little hurricane, charged down upon the
Galactic University buildings and whooshed through the Galactic
Historian'sstudylikeabandofinterstellardervishes.
Unfortunately,theGalacticHistorianhadbeguntowipehisbrowsat
the very moment of the breeze's entry. While the act was not a
complicatedone,itdidconsumetimeandmonopolizeattention.Itis
notsurprising,therefore,thathefailedtowitnessthetheft.Neitheris
it surprising that he failed to notice afterwards that the page he had
beencheckingwasgone.
He was, as previously stated, overworked, over-tired, and overanxious and, in such a state, even a Galactic Historian can skip a
whole series of words and dates and never know the difference. A
hiatus of twenty thousand years is hardly noticeable anyway.
Galacticallyspeaking,twentythousandyearsisamerewinkintime.
Thebreezedidn'tcarrythepageveryfar.Itsimplywhiskeditthrough
a convenient window, deposited it beneath a xixxix tree and then


returnedtothehillstorest.Butthechoiceofaxixxixtreeishighly
significantandsubstantiatesthemaliciousnatureofthebreeze'sact.If
it had chosen a muu or a buxx tree instead, the Galactic Historian
might have found the page in the morning when he took his

constitutionalthroughtheuniversitygrounds.
However, since a xixxix tree was selected, no doubt whatever can
remain as to the breeze's basic motivation. Articles of a valuable
nature just aren't left beneath xixxix trees. Everybody knows that
squixes live in xixxix trees and everybody knows that squixes are
collectors.Theycollectallsortsofthings,buttonsandpinsandtwigs
andpebbles—anythingatall,infact,thatisn'ttoobigforthemtopick
upandcarryintotheirxixxixtreehouses.
They have been called less kind things than collectors. Thieves, for
example, and scavengers. But collectors are what they really are.
Collecting fulfills a basic need in their mammalian makeup; the
possession of articles gives them a feeling of security. They love to
surroundtheirlittlefurrybodieswithallsortsofoddsandends,and
their little arboreal houses are stuffed with everything you can think
of.
Andtheysimplyadorepaper.Theyadoreitbecauseithasapractical
aswellasaculturalvalue.
Specifically,theyadoreitbecauseitiswonderfultomakehammocks
outof.
When the two squixes in the xixxix tree saw the page drift to the
ground,theycouldhardlybelievetheireyes.Theychitteredexcitedly
as they skittered down the trunk. The page had hardly stopped
fluttering before it was whisked aloft again, clenched in tiny squix
fingers.
Thesquixeswastednotime.Ithadbeenalongwhilesincethemost


cherishedofallcollector'sitemshadcometheirwayandtheyneeded
anewhammockbadly.First,theytorethepageintostrips,thenthey
begantoweavethestripstogether.

—1456,Gut.Bi.pr.;1492,Am.dis.;1945,at.b.ex.Almgdo.;1971,
mn.rchd.,theywove.
—2004, Sir. rchd.; 2005-6, Sir.—E. wr.; 2042, Btlgs. rchd.; 2043-4,
Btlgs.—E.wr.
Theywoveandwoveandwove.
15,000,E.Emp.clpsd.;15,038,E.dstryd.;Hist.E.,endof.
Itwasafinehammock,thebestthetwosquixeshadeverwove.But
theydidn'tsleepwellthatnight.Theytwistedandturnedandtossed,
andtheydreamedthemostfantasticdreams—
Which isn't particularly surprising, considering what they were
sleepingon.SleepingonthehistoryofEarthwouldbeenoughtogive
anybodynightmares.
Evensquixes.

Transcriber's Note: This etext was
produced from Fantastic Universe
September1956.Extensiveresearchdidnot
uncover any evidence that the U.S.
copyrightonthispublicationwasrenewed.
Minor spelling and typographical errors
havebeencorrectedwithoutnote.


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