RESEARCH WRITING PAPER

RESEARCH
PAPER
WRITING
Name: CAO THI THANH THUY
Class: Education 07
Students code: 07074808
Topic: Changing the expectations of marriage in Asia.
Research question:
How does culture influence people s concept of
marriage?
"You're not young anymore, find a man and marry him". It's only sentence
which mom said to my sister. She's 26 years old, she has everything such
as: good position in company and stable salary but boyfriend. When mom
said: "when I was at your age, I had baby. Look at you; you still look like a
child". My sister just smiled and answered:" Mom, the lifestyle is
changing". It's quite true; 40 year ago, women had no voice in their
arranged marriage. After the wedding, women are judged how they took
care of the family, husband, children without caring their own interests.
The modern society makes the ways of thinking change. To pursue own
dreams, the Asian women have different views of marriage. There are three
reasons for this: personal fulfillment, financial self-reliant and future
husband.
The first thing that changes the attitude toward the marriage of women is
the personal fulfillment. About 40 years ago, a married woman had to give
up her own life and spent time on housework. In "What does life tell us
about love?" (2003, p.42), Kavita Daswani writes, "There is an element of
sacrifice and obligation, we are expected to make many things secondary
once the husband come along to devote our energies to him, and his house
and the building of another family unit". This sentence is totally suitable
for Asian tradition. My grandma is one of the typical examples I have seen.
She got married when she was just 18 years old. After wedding she had to

stop her outside jobs and stay at home. My grandpa was the only son in the
house, so his parents didn't allow him to do anything. Grandma said that
she had done the same boring work from day to day such as: doing the
house work, taking care of the family, etc. whenever remembering the past,
she always hopes that. I will have a different life from hers. Because of
living in modern society, I hate the traditional lifestyle. I can't stand staying
at home all day and devoting my energy for my husband, children. In stead,
I can do something to pursue my personal goals. Many women who are
married have the same thought like mine but the attitude toward women's
fulfillment changes when the society develops women want not only to stay
at home, but also to have a job. The out-door work helps them to use time
usefully, in addition people can have the exact judgments for the modern
women also they have the equal role like the men. Angelica Menifee,
president of trampoline, faced some of these challenges. Being a wife and a
mother, she stayed at home and looked after everything as another
housewife. As you know, housework is a job which is unpaid and under-
appreciated at time so that she tried to balance between indoor and outdoor
works. The desire to carry on the personal fulfillment made her and her
business stronger. The point here,, women not only live for their husband
and children but also want to find a career to earn money. Modern women
don't want to live in rigid traditional marriage, there fore, they delay to
marry until the find an open-minded husband. They realized that they have
a right to make their marriage meaningful.
Being independent in finance is another desire of modern women.
Women want to satisfy their personal fulfillment, so having a job is the first
thing they want to do. The developed economy means women can have
more chances to get a job. A career brings to women the opportunities not
only to earn money but also to prove themselves. Long time ago, women
weren't allowed to go to school so they couldn't do anything besides being a
wife. Different from the past, the modern society give them more

advantages, they can take over from the minor works to the major ones
like: workers, teacher, editor, director, manager, etc. according to " I take
thee, for weekend only, Kay Itoi (1999), women in Japan now have more
opportunities to get jobs and make money. If you know Japanese original
tradition, you will understand the reason why writer has that judgment.
Women in Japan live on their husband's salary so that they have no voice in
their wife work outside. But the improved economy liberated them from the
humdrum work. In " women managers moving on: exploring career and
life choices" (2006), Judi Marshall writes that getting a stable job isn't a
luxury choice and the women have the same equal chances as the men.
Nowadays, Women are taught how to earn, spend and manage money
logically and they can be self-reliant. Being independent or not live on the
husband, women are able to express and each of their actions are respected.
They no longer wait for the money from their partner in stead, their career
can help them make money and add to family's budget. (Marshall, 2006).
Women don't do these works to show they are better than their husband.
Simply, they want to be respected by their partner. They would like to
express freely their feeling and act in the way they want. The women
always expect men spend time on listening to them; therefore, they have
ability to get more and more the desire for financial self-reliant.
The expectation of choosing the prospective husband is the last
problem. As you see two above paragraphs, women change the view of
personal goals, finance, so they also have some conditions with their
partner. They can't stand a man who always wants his wife to stay at home
and to look after everything. The point is here, women and men have the
same right to study, and they spend 4 years or longer to accomplish the
university's program. All of them wish to have a job after graduating. It will
be a waste of time and money if the wife is required to stay at home. In the
past, Asian women couldn't select the husband. Their marriage is arranged
without having the acceptation between husband and wives. After the

wedding, women could see the men whom they got married to. Daswani,
(2003, p.42) talks about the arranged marriage. "[My parent] were brought
together by their families, engaged within the day and married within a
couple of weeks. That was 40 years ago and all is well". Asian women have