Beginning writing 1 part 11

88
Beginning Writing 1
• Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com
NAME DATE
 
IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: S
ENTENCE
V
ARIETY
II:
Combining Sentences
Provide variety in your paragraphs by writing sentences of different lengths.
In this exercise, you’ll practice combining sentences in two different ways.
•You can use a conjunction to combine two short sentences into one
compound sentence.
EXAMPLE:
SHORT

SENTENCES
: Blast-off time arrived. The rocket engines did not fire.
COMBINED

SENTENCE
: Blast-off time arrived, but the rocket engines did not fire.
A.
Combine each pair of sentences below into one sentence. Use the
conjunction shown in parentheses to join the sentences. Write the new
sentence on the line. (Be sure to add a comma before the conjunction when
you write a compound sentence.) The first one has been done for you.
1. Elaine and Paul Lavine have a huge house. They only have one child.
(but)

________________________________________________________________
2. Seven Great Danes live in the Lavine house. Two will soon have puppies.
(and)
________________________________________________________________
3. The family may keep all the puppies. Neighbors may buy some.
(or)
_________________________________________________________________
•You can also combine sentences by writing a
descriptive phrase
. In the
following example, the descriptive phrase is shown in italics.
EXAMPLE:
SHORT

SENTENCES
: We visited Thrill World. It is the most exciting
amusement park in the state.
COMBINED

SENTENCE
: We visited Thrill World,
the most exciting
amusement park in the state.
B.
Combine each pair of sentences into one sentence. Turn one of the
sentences into a descriptive phrase. The first one has been done for you.
1. Yoki will star in the class play. She is an excellent actress.
____________________________________________________________________
2. A stage crew is designing sets. Crew members are talented artists.
____________________________________________________________________

3. Tickets for the play are going fast. The play opens March 5.
____________________________________________________________________
Elaine and Paul Lavine have a huge house
,
but they only have one child.
Yoki
,
an excellent actress
,
will star in the class play.
Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com •
Beginning Writing 1
89
NAME DATE
 
IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: S
ENTENCE
V
ARIETY
III:
Avoiding “And” Sentences
Sometimes student writers overuse the conjunction
and.
This makes paragraphs
sound repetitious. Just a slight change in sentence pattern can add variety.
EXAMPLES:
Five minutes before game time the center arrived,
and he was still wearing his street clothes.
Five minutes before game time the center, still
wearing his street clothes, arrived.

A.
One sentence in each pair has been improved by
eliminating the word and. Read both sentences.
Then circle the letter of the improved sentence.
1. a. Abraham Lincoln was a man of dignity and
honesty, and he is remembered as a great president.
b. Because Abraham Lincoln was a man of dignity and honesty,
he is remembered as a great president.
2. a. Although the sign said, “No food allowed,” Bobby entered the
library with an ice cream cone.
b. The sign said, “No food allowed,” and Bobby entered the library
with an ice cream cone.
B.
Rewrite the paragraph so that it uses the word and to connect
sentences no more than twice. Hint: Separate some sentences and
avoid writing too many long ones!
The bald eagle is a symbol of the United States, and it is also an
endangered animal. Hunters and ranchers have killed many eagles, and
chemicals and pesticides are polluting the birds’ environment. The bald
eagle is a proud and noble bird, and its picture is on the Great Seal of
the United States and the President’s flag and some coins, and it is
important that Americans protect the species.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
90

Beginning Writing 1
• Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com
NAME DATE
 
IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: C
ONCISE
W
RITING
We say that writing is
concise
when it does not waste words. Every word in a
concise sentence has a purpose. Every sentence in a paragraph presents a
new idea to support the main point.
A.
The sentences in the first column have words and phrases that add no
new meaning. Draw lines to match a wordy sentence in the first column
with a more concise version in the second column.
1. The faulty vehicle of which I am
the driver seems to present me
with the challenging problem of
veering to the left side of the road
on which I’m driving.
2. As the vehicle’s operator, I feel
a certain sense of responsibility
to myself and my riders to drive
the vehicle to a mechanic’s garage
and have problems diagnosed and
repaired.
3. Unfortunately, my bank account
is extremely low, and I lack the

needed funds to properly attend to
my vehicle’s need for prompt service.
4. Perhaps I will appeal to the good
nature of my father to advance me
a sum of money with which to make
the repairs and satisfy my debts.
a. Unfortunately, I don’t
have enough money to
pay for the repairs.
b. My car veers to the left.
c. Maybe I’ll ask Dad for
a loan to cover the car
repairs.
d. I need to take my car
to a garage and get it
fixed.
B.
Read the paragraph below. Draw a line through
the four unnecessary sentences that repeat ideas.
Walt Disney has been called the Master of
Make-Believe. He began his career by bringing
drawings to life in short cartoons called Laugh-O-Grams.
This launched his career. Before long, he was off to Hollywood.
There he found success with a seven-minute cartoon of
Alice in
Wonderland
. The cartoon did well. It was not long before Walt created
a funny little mouse he called Mortimer. The rodent was very humorous.
Walt’s wife Lillian didn’t like the mouse’s name. She thought it was not the
right choice. She renamed the mouse Mickey.

Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com •
Beginning Writing 1
91
NAME DATE
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IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: A
VOIDING
M
IXED
C
OMPARISONS
Writers often make comparisons to help their readers picture an idea.
EXAMPLE:
At the sight of her old boyfriend, her heart
pounded like a jackhammer.
Good writers are careful to avoid
mixed comparisons.
EXAMPLE:
Working like beavers, the students were
night-owls who studied until dawn.
A.
Decide whether each sentence below is a good comparison or a mixed
comparison. Put a checkmark (✓) by the three mixed comparisons.
1. _____ Perspiration cascaded down his face like little waterfalls.
2. _____ The chicken-hearted villain was as timid as a kitten.
3. _____ When Leroy laughed, his Adam’s apple bobbed like a rowboat
on a lake.
4. _____ As David climbed the ladder of success, he sailed through
rough seas.
B.

The sentences below contain mixed comparisons. Rewrite each
sentence so that it does not shift from one comparison to another.
The first one has been done for you.
1. Mario was a tower of strength and would not melt away in the face of danger.
____________________________________________________________________
2. His mind galloped from thought to thought like leaves in the wind.
____________________________________________________________________
3. The warmth of the sun wrapped itself around our campsite like a blazing fire.
____________________________________________________________________
4. The teacher growled at the tardy students like a thunderstorm.
____________________________________________________________________
CHALLENGE:
Write three descriptive sentences on the back of this sheet. Use
a comparison in each sentence—but be sure to avoid mixed comparisons!
Here are some topic suggestions: waves crashing on the beach, a graveyard, a
cornfield, a crowded concert hall, your school cafeteria, a snake.
Mario was a tower of strength who would not crumble in the face of danger.
92
Beginning Writing 1
• Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com
NAME DATE
 
IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: R
ECOGNIZING
F
ACTS

AND
O
PINIONS

It is important for writers to recognize whether they
are presenting a
fact
or an
opinion
. Remember that
a fact can be checked out and proven right or wrong.
An opinion cannot be verified—not every reader
would agree that it is right or wrong.
EXAMPLES:
FACT
: The concert began at 7:00
P
.
M
.
(Check the clock to prove this true.)
OPINION
: The band gave a disappointing performance.
(Would everyone in the audience agree with this?)
A.
All the following items except one are accurate or inaccurate statements
of fact. Each fact can be evaluated as true or false. Write T for true or F
for false by each factual statement. Look for the one statement that is
not a fact. Circle the statement and put an O for opinion on the line.
1. _____ The Fourth of July is always celebrated on July 5.
2. _____ A fireworks display is the best way to celebrate.
3. _____ The United States is in the western hemisphere.
4. _____ Rhode Island is the largest state.
5. _____ California has a larger population than Nevada.

B.
Write F for fact or O for opinion beside each statement below.
Remember, not everything you agree with is a fact. (You should
find two statements of fact and three statements of opinion.)
1. _____ The most important feature in a car is its fuel efficiency.
2. _____ The most important feature in a car is engine power.
3. _____ A new model, the Zephyr, has an eight-cylinder engine.
4. _____ There are eight new courtroom dramas on television this fall.
5. _____ There are too many shows about lawyers on television.
CHALLENGE:
Select one of the following topics: a healthy diet; Paris, France;
your next-door neighbor; soda pop; leash laws; sales tax; the common
cold; modern art; teen curfews. On the back of this sheet, write one
statement of fact and one statement of opinion about the topic.