The experiences of revisinging for excellent students in ba dinh high school how to write an essay

THANH HOA PROVINCE DEPARTMENT OF
EDUCATION AND TRAINING

BA ĐÌNH HIGH SCHOOL

EXPERIENCE INITIATIVE

The experiences of revisinging for excellent
students in Ba Dinh high school how to write
an essay

Implementer: Trần Thị Huệ
Job title: Teacher
School: Ba Đình high school – Nga Sơn
Experience initiative: English

THANH HỐ 2021
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART I - INTRODUCTION.................................................................................1
1. Rationale...........................................................................................................1
2. Aims of the study..............................................................................................2
3. Scope of the study.............................................................................................2
4. Foundation of the study....................................................................................2
5. The participants...............................................................................................2
PART II - CONTENTS.........................................................................................3
1. Pre - writing stage ............................................................................................3
2. While - writing stage.........................................................................................5
3. Post - writing...................................................................................................18

PART III - PRACTICE EXCERCISES..............................................................18
PART IV - EFFECTIVE OF STUDY.................................................................19
PART V- CONCLUSION AND SUGGESTION................................................20
1. Conclusion......................................................................................................20
2. Suggestions.....................................................................................................20
REFERENCES...................................................................................................21

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PART I: INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale:
The beginning of learning English, students have been exposed to four
basic skills of the language: listening, speaking, reading, and writing. These are
important skills of teachers in transferring knowledge to students. Writing skill
is a difficult one for learners, it requires teachers to understand the teaching
method effectively and well implement the principle of "Studying together with
practising". Teaching and learning methods have changed fundamentally.
Teachers are not only ones who hold the knowledge and impart knowledge but
also the direction instructors, supporters, mentors, testers.The learners are no
longer passive people who acquire knowledge but are at the center of the
teaching process, actively innovating in the learning process to achieve the
conclusion. It is very important to study and know how to apply it to real life. In
general, to teach foreign languages and to teach English in particular the
innovation of teaching methods is very important in addition to mastering
language knowledge, good performance listening, speaking and reading skills,
writing skills also play an important role. The basic content and really the subtle
combination of teaching other language skills from the points of view on how to
apply writing methods to help students make a standard essay that it ensures
accurate writing, grammar and creativity.

Writing skill is one of the four skills of learning English which can be one
of the most enjoyable and satisfying activities for teachers and students to do
together in a classroom, especially in a foreign language classroom. But writing
skill which includes language, private knowledge and skill, emotion and the
interaction of personal opinion is difficult and challenging to learn and develop
for many students in the world in general and in Vietnam in particular. In
Vietnam, there are many English teachers who even believe that teaching
writing skill to learners is more complex than teaching other communicative
skills
However, during teaching some of the teachers still ignore teaching writing
skill, especially, difficult writing lessons and they often focus on grammar
excercises for the test exams. Therefore, to reduce students’ pressure and
worrying and improve the effective of writing skill, I would like to present “The
experiences of revisinging for excellent students in Ba Dinh high school how to
write an essay” to help my students to write an essay easily. Besides, writing skill
is one of important skills of communication. A good writing skill will help
students to communicate their message with clarity. Therefore, the teachers who
are directly teaching, always think what they should do to make students’
motivation in writing lessons.
I hope that these experiences could help students to have a good writing
and help develop their writing skill, motivate them in writing a paragraph.
Moreover, this theme would be shared with colleagues who have the same
problem or anyone who is interested in this theme.
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2. Aims of the study.
- From the above reality, I am constantly studying and experimenting with
teaching methods and tricks to find the most effective writing methods to help
students understand how to write some types of essays.

- Improving the students’ writing skill and understanding through practical
writing.
- Reducing the difficulties for the students in practicing writings by
creating a combination in the essays and using simple words and structures,
know how to use the structure in each part of the essay when participating in
excellent student exams at all levels.
- Help teachers understand more about writing some types of paragraph
3. Scope of the study:
- Studying textbooks, exploiting materials on the Internet, determining genres
of essays to build an appropriate teaching, experimenting on students who join the
team of gifted student in Ba Đinh high school.
4. Foundation of the study:
- Basing on students’ result of writing is very low.
- Students’writing skills is very bad.
5. The participants:
- The students taking part in revising to choose gifted students in Ba Dinh
high school.
PART II: CONTENTS
In the process of teaching and learning, I find that writing skills are one of
the most difficult skills. It requires students to have vocabulary, understand
grammatical structures, ideas to outline when writing articles. In particular,
students must know how each type of essay needs to be written. Writing skills
help students create what they have learned, help them practice using language
effectively and also practice writing for them. Writing skills promote students’
creativity, it reflects the results of students' listening, speaking, reading,
grammar, vocabulary, showing strong, weak sides, and it also helps for teachers
more easily to see errors of students than when speaking. Writing is a very
important step in the process of teaching and learning English. Especially for
those who are gifted students in all level.
Good writing skill not only helps students achieve high scores in the exam

for excellent students but also it helps students will be confident and have useful
knowledge to participate in other competitions such as IELTS, TOEFL ...
The students often encounter essays which make them confused and do not
know what kind of writing they need, how to present their essays, use any
sentence structures properly. So I boldly choose the topic “The experiences of
revisinging for excellent students in Ba Dinh high school how to write an
essay” which I have used successfully to improve the effectiveness of teaching,
especially the quality of students participate in choosing gifted ones .
The stages of teaching writing skill are very important and they also have
significant effectiveness on the students’ writing performance. If students do not
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prepare well enough, they can not write well, they can not even write anything
in their writing.The key to successful writing lessons is that the teachers should
carry out well the following stages:
1. Pre-writing stage
Pre-writing activities are considered to be the most important stages in
teaching writing skill and they will help students to get ready to perform the
tasks of a writing. Additionally, students’ writing performance can be affected by
teachers’ teaching methods and instructions in this stage. If the teacher conducts
this stage successfully, the students’ result of performance will be much better.
Firstly, I have helped students to understand these proplems well, such as
“How is an essay” and “how is its organization and structure”, “how to do to
write a standard essay” to make the difference between achieving or not
achieving the desired score.
SOME FORMS OF ESSAY AND WAYS TO RECOGNIZE
I provided examples and structures for each type of essay. This clear
structure will help students know how to analyze and apply it to write an essay
clearly, and hope to help the students improve their writing scores.

- Writing essay is usually divided into 3 basic types.
1.1. Argumentative essay
What is an Argumentative Essay? Argument essays seek to state a position
on an issue and give several reasons, supported by evidence, for agreeing with
that position.
Ex1: Children watch too much TV nowadays and this is bad for their education
and development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Ex2: Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when
immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a
new environment by establishing a minority community. What are your
opinions?
* signals.
- What is your opinion?
- Do you agree or disagree?
- To what extent do you agree or disagree?
1.2. Discussion essay
A discussion essay presents and discusses issues surrounding a particular
topic--usually one that is debatable and open to argument. Students will need
to discuss both sides of the issues surrounding the discussion essay topic, so
ensure that the students have accesse to good research that provides pertinent
information
Ex1: In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international
fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others
believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
Ex2: Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when
immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a
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new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss these two views
and give your opinion.
* signals :
- Discuss both views and give your own opinion
- Discuss these two views and give your opinion.
1.3. Account essay .
A definition of something means that the answer must explain the precise
meaning of something.
1.3.1. Problems and solutions
Ex: Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards
learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions?
Ex : Students are becoming more and more reliant on computers.What are some
of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of
the possible solutions?
* signals: Problem and solution..
1.3.2. Causes and effects
What is a cause and effect essay? It is a good question to start. Those are
academic papers concerned with why certain things or events take place and
what are the consequences of some actions/phenomena. It is the typical way to
organize and discuss ideas.
Ex : Some findings have revealed that cities around the world are growing
large. Could you outline the possible causes and predict consequences?
* signals: Cause and solution.
1.3.3. Pros and Cons/ Advantages and Disadvantages:
Ex1:Computers are being used more and more in education. Discuss the
advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
Ex2: In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses
to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages
outweigh the disadvantages?
* signals :

- Discuss the advantages and disadvantages
- Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
- After the students identify kinds of essay, they will be easy to write a perfect
essay with flying colours.
2. While - writing stage
This stage is for developing writing skill, students can write individually,
but teacher should encourage collaborative writing( work in pairs or in a small
group to write the first draft).While writing, teacher observe students how well
students work and whether they need some help. Especially, teacher should pay
more attention to less - active or quiet students and encourage them to focus on
their work. Now my students can feel confident to write any required topic
easily.
Most essay articles have the following basic structure:
- Introduction
- Supporting Paragraph 1
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- Supporting Paragraph 2
- Conclusion
2.1. Some guides to help students how to write part “Introduction”.
“Paraphrase” is an essential skill to help students do a good writing.
What is paraphrasing ? Paraphrasing is when we take an original idea and rewrite it to express the same meaning but in a different way. This might be by
changing words, word forms, sentence structure, or using synonyms. If we think
this is just for writing academic papers, think again. We actually paraphrase all
the time.
Paraphrasing is important to writing lesson because introduction paragraph
is basically a paraphrase of essay prompt. we will need to re-write the essay
prompt in our own words to introduce the essay.
Three ways how do paraphrasing for writing .

Before we attempt to paraphrase, we need to make sure that we understand
the gist, or meaning of the paragraph. Paraphrasing is more than just changing
words. Students paraphrase needs to make sense and still convey the original
message. So, They should read the original text a couple of times to make sure
they understand the message it conveys. Then turn the ideas over in our mind.
Think of how ưe would express the same ideas to a friend.
Below are three techniques to paraphrase. Rather than exclusively
using one of them, a good paraphrase includes all methods.
+ Use synonyms: Synonyms are different words that express the same or similar
meaning.
For example: Interesting, fascinating, curious and amusing are all synonyms.
But! Some synonyms can have a slightly different meaning. For
example, fascinating has a stronger meaning than interesting. So be careful
when using synonyms. We need to make sure that the words we are using
convey the same level of meaning as the original.
Example:
Original: Many people think that cars should not be allowed in city centres.
Paraphrase: Many people believe that motor vehicles should be banned in
urban areas.
*Synonyms
think –> believe
cars –> motor vehicles
should not be allowed –> should be banned
city centres –> urban areas
+ Change the word forms
- Another way to paraphrase is to change word forms. For example, changing a
noun into a verb, a verb into a noun or an adjective into a noun or vice versa.
Example:
Original:Many people find watching tennis interesting (interesting =
adjective).

Paraphrase: Many people have an interest in watching tennis (interest = noun).
Example:
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Original: Some people think Facebook is an invasion of privacy (invasion =
noun).
Paraphrase: Some people think Facebook has invaded our privacy (has
invaded = verb).
+ Change the sentence structure
A third way to paraphrase is to change sentence structure. This could be by
changing the sentence from passive to active or vice versa, or changing the order
of the clauses. Let’s have a look.
Active to Passive
Original: The hurricane destroyed the city.
Paraphrase: The city was destroyed by the hurricane.
In the sentence above, the subject (the hurricane) became the object, and the
object (the city) became the subject.
To be passive, we also changed the verb destroyed into past perfect (was/were +
past participle).
Passive to Active
Original: The public transport system was developed by the city council.
Paraphrase: The city council developed the public transport system.
In the sentence above the subject (the public transport system) became the
object, and the object (the city council) became the subject.
Order of clauses
A clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb. Some sentences
can be a single clause. Some sentences can be made up of two or more clauses.
For example: It is difficult to say whether the economy will improve.
The two clauses are: It is difficult to say / whether the economy will improve.

One way to paraphrase is by changing the order of the clauses.
For example: Whether the economy will improve, it is difficult to say.
Let’s look at another example:
Original: During the summer, many people visit the temple.
Paraphrase: Many people visit the temple during the summer.
2.1.1. Sample examples:
Paraphrasing an essay prompt to write the introduction
Let’s look at an example:
Original (essay prompt): Nowadays, more and more foreign students are going
to English-Speaking countries to learn the “international language – English”.
It is undoubtedly true that studying English in an English-speaking country is
the best way, but it is not the only way to learn it. Do you agree or disagree with
the above statement?
- To unpack this prompt, the first sentence is the general statement. Nowadays,
more and more foreign students are going to English-speaking countries to
learn the international language – English. This tells us what the essay topic is.
- The second sentence is the specific statement. It is undoubtedly true that
studying English in an English-speaking country is the best way, but it is not the
only way to learn it. It gives an opinion about the topic.
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- The third sentence is the question. To what extent do you agree or disagree
with the above statement? This means you have to express your opinion on the
second sentence.
- In order to write the introduction, we need to paraphrase the three parts of this
essay prompt.
Let’s look at an example of a paraphrase of each:
Sentence 1: Nowadays, more and more foreign students are going to Englishspeaking countries to learn the international language – English
Paraphrase: In recent times, a growing number of international students

are learning English in English-speaking countries.
Sentence 2: It is undoubtedly true that studying English in an English-speaking
country is the best way, but it is not the only way to learn it.
Paraphrase: Although it is beneficial to learn English in a country where it
is natively spoken, there are other effective ways to learn it.
Sentence 3: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Paraphrase: I agree with this statement to a large degree.
Putting it all together: In recent times, a growing number of international
students are learning English in English-speaking countries. Although it is most
beneficial to learn English in a country where it is natively spoken, there are
other effective ways to learn it. I agree with this statement to a large degree.
2.1.2. Practice excercises :
- I asked students use a combination of the above techniques (synonyms, word
forms, sentence structure), write an introduction to the following essay by
paraphrasing the prompt below.
The overuse of natural resources ultimately exhausts them. This causes huge
harm to the environment. Therefore, the government should discourage people
from overusing such resources. To what extent do you support or oppose this
idea?
- There are 9 students in my team of gifted ones and I have divided them
into three groups , each of pair paraphases one ways in above ways.
There are three possible correct answers:
Introduction 1: Exploiting natural resources will ultimately deplete them and
lead to environmental harm. Therefore, the overuse of these resources should
be discouraged by governments. I totally agree with this statement.
Designed by Lan, Hoa and Quyen
Introduction 2: The exploitation of natural resources results in their exhaustion.
This causes environmental damage. Thus, governments should encourage
people to take care not to overuse these resources. I agree with this to a large
extent.

Designed by Duc, Thanh and Long
Introduction 3: Natural resources will ultimately be exhausted if we continue to
overuse them. It damages the environment and should therefore be discouraged
by governments. I agree with this statement to a large degree.
Designed by Huong, Minh and Chi
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2.2. Some guides to help students how to write good body paragraphs on an
essay.
The main body of an essay is the most important part of the whole paper. All
parts of an essay are thematically aimed at something special. The intro prepares
the reader, gives him or her basic information about the topic, the main thesis,
and catches his or her attention, gradually leading him to the following section.
The conclusion summarizes the main points, arguments, evidence, and thesis.
A body paragraph is a group of related sentences about a particular
topic or idea directly relating to the thesis. Because essays are composed
of multiple body paragraphs, writing and organizing good paragraphs is
one of the most important aspects of creating a well-organized and
developed essay.
The term body paragraph refers to any paragraph that follows the
introduction and comes before the conclusion. The majority of any essay
consists of multiple body paragraphs, and it is in these paragraphs where
the main information is presented. The longer an essay is, the more body
paragraphs there will be. Because the body paragraphs present the
important facts and information from an essay, having well-written body
paragraphs is essential in writing a successful essay.
Most essays follow the same basic four paragraph structure:
1. Introduction
2. Supporting Paragraph 1

3. Supporting Paragraph 2
4. Conclusion
Structures for each type of essay.
- Provide examples and structures for each type that has been certified by
experienced IELTS teachers. This clear structure will help students have a
holistic view, know how to analyze the topic, write a lesson clearly, and hope to
help you increase their Writing scores. Besides these are examples for a specific
topic so the studeznts can clearly see the structure mentioned and how to apply
it.
* Argumentative essay
Structure:

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Ex: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a
compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a
charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample answer :
It is argued that volunteering should be made part of the school curriculum.
This essay agrees with that suggestion completely because of the benefits it
brings to pupils. The essay will first look at how voluntary work can help
students develop soft skills and then discuss how these extracurricular activities
are valued by universities and employers.
Education should not be limited to strictly academic pursuits and those in
education should also develop life skills, such as teamwork, empathy and selfdiscipline, and one of the best ways to hone these aptitudes is through
community service. Serving those less fortunate than ourselves teaches us many
lessons including how to work with people from other backgrounds and the
value of hard work. For example, I personally volunteered to spend 6 weeks in

Africa teaching disadvantaged children and this led to a much higher work ethic
when I returned to my studies.
Many colleges and companies are also increasingly looking for this type of
experience. Most school leavers have the same grades and charitable works can
help set you apart from the herd. For example, Cambridge and Oxford receive
thousands of applications from straight-A students every year and can only
accept a small percentage of applicants. What you have done outside the
classroom is often the thing that differentiates you from everyone else and gets
you that coveted spot.
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In conclusion, teenagers should be made to partake in unpaid work as part of
their schooling because it will help them learn things they wouldn’t ordinarily
learn from their teachers and it will also boost their chances of getting into third
level education.
* Discuss Both Views Question (Discussion Essay)
Structure:

Ex : Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say
that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative
consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own
opinion.
Sample answer :
There is an ever increasing use of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the
classroom. It is often argued that this is a positive development, whilst others
disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that
an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers. This essay will
discuss both points of view.
It is clear that the internet has provided students with access to more

information than ever before. Moreover, learners have the ability to research
and learn about any subject at the touch of a button. It is therefore agreed that
technology is a very worthwhile tool for education. Wikipedia is a prime
example, where students can simply type in any keyword and gain access to indepth knowledge quickly and easily.
However, many disagree and feel that technology deprives people of real human
interaction. Human interaction teaches people valuable skills such as discourse,
debate and empathy. Despite this, human interaction is still possible through the
internet and this essay disagrees technology should be dismissed for this reason.
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For instance, Skype and Facebook make it possible for people to interact in
ways that were never before possible.
While the benefits of technology, particularly the internet, allow students to tap
in to limitless sources of information, some still feel that people should be wary
of this new phenomena and not allow it to curb face to face interaction.
However, as long as we are careful to keep in mind the importance of human
interaction in education, the educational benefits are clearly positive.
* Problem and Solution Questions
 Structure

Ex: Students are becoming more and more reliant on computers.
What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and
what are some of the possible solutions?
Sample answer :
Learners are becoming ever more dependent on technology, such as the internet
and mobile devices. This essay will discuss one of the main problems associated
with dependence on computers and suggest a viable solution.
The principal problem with over reliance on technology, such as tablets and
computers, is plagiarism. Students often use search engines to answer a

question and simply copy the text from a website, rather than thinking about the
question. This practice is not only prohibited in schools and universities, but
also stunts a student’s intellectual development. For example, many teachers
complain that students copy web pages straight from Wikipedia word for word
rather than giving a reasoned answer to their questions.
A solution to this worrying problem is asking students to email their answers to
teachers and teachers using anti-plagiarism software to detect copying.
Moreover, students would be made aware of this practice and this would inspire
them to answer questions using their own words, rather than someone else’s.
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For instance, many universities already use this kind software to scan course
work for plagiarism and it could be extended to include all homework, by
learners in both secondary and tertiary education.
In summary, one of the main problems with over-use of technology in education
is plagiarism and this can be solved through the use of plagiarism detection
software. It is predicted that more and more students’ will email their work to
their teacher and this work will be scrutinised for plagiarism.
* Advantages and Disadvantages Questions
Structure.

Ex : A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income.
Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed
correctly.
Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world.
Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?
Sample answer :
Nowadays tourism generates a significant portion of national income for many
countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the

advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.
The two main advantages of developed tourism industry are boost in country’s
economy and a large number of new job openings for the local people. Firstly,
tourists spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements,
transportation, food and medical services. This way, tourism yields an
additional income, greatly supporting the country’s economy. Secondly, tourism
increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs. For instance, the influx
of tourists results in a larger demand in restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel
staff and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more
people for these positions.
But tourism also has some major disadvantages like destruction of popular
tourist destinations and development of illegal economic activities. іAncient
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buildings, temples and monuments struggle to cope with a vast amount of
visitor’s traffic and get damaged. Also, the large number of tourists can cause
environmental problems. For instance, when places of interest are overcrowded,
natural resources often become overexploited. What’s more, the presence of a
considerable number of tourists with a lot of money to spend, and often carrying
valuables such as cameras and jewelry, increases the attraction for criminals
and brings with it activities like robbery and drug dealing. However, proper
hospitality management and correct usage of tourism revenue by the local
government can eliminate these disadvantages.
To conclude, although tourism can have certain negative effects like destructive
impact and growth of crime rate, it has an extremely positive influence on
country’s economy and provides a large number of new jobs for the local
people. I believe that these benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks.
- The following are important aspects of all body paragraphs:


A clear topic sentence ( main idea)

Specific evidence or supporting detail

Examples

Unity and cohesion

Transitions between sentences and paragraphs

A concluding sentence that ties the evidence or details back to the
main point and brings the paragraph to a close
- Give out some examples and take notes the difference between band 5 and
band 8 answers sudents can see that the examiner wants them to respond to the
question with ‘relevant, extended and supported ideas.’ This means that the
ideas must actually relate, or be linked, specifically to the question and then the
students have to explain what their ideas mean and then support them with
examples.
Good and Bad Examples
- Look the following examples and think about what the examiner wants. Which
one is a good essay and which one is not?
Ex: Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for
children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members
such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample 1– Many parents in full-time employment prefer to leave their children
with grandparents when they are at work because they feel their child will be
safer with someone from within the family circle. In other words they do not
trust a stranger to look after their child and feel confident that no harm will
come to the child whilst being look after by grandma or grandpa. For example,

a 2013 study from Cambridge University showed that 62% of working mothers
prefer a member of the immediate family to provide care when they are at work.
Sample 2– Grandparents are the best people to look after children for very
obvious reasons. Grandparents really love their grandchildren and would never
harm them. Also, the children really love their grandparents and feel
comfortable with them. Finally, grandparents have lots of experience taking
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care of children because they are old and looked after children for many years
themselves.
which one is better?
Sample 1 has one main argument- parents prefer grandparents because they trust
them. They have stated this very clearly in the first sentence and then explained
why this is, in the second sentence. They have also used a very specific example
to support their idea. This is exactly what the examiner wants.
Sample 2 has many different arguments and most of them are very general.
They have not been extended with explanations and lack examples. This is
exactly what the examiner does not want.
- The first sentence in supporting paragraph should be the topic sentence.
Each paragraph should have one main idea only and the topic sentence tells the
reader what this idea is. This makes students’ paragraph and the whole essay
clearer and easier to read. The students will gain marks for coherence in the
writing test if they do this. Think of them as signposts that direct the reader to
where students want to go.
We think of topic sentences in an argument (agree or disagree) essay by thinking
of ideas why we support one side or the other.
Let’s look at another question:
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the
workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female.

Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these
positions to women. Do you agree?
- So we have to think of reasons for and against allocating a certain percentage
of positions in the workforce to women.
For:

Fairness

Equality

Prevent discrimination

Women outperform men in many jobs

Women outperform men in many schools and university subjects
Against:

Should be based on merit not gender

A few jobs, like construction, are better suited to males
- I support the ‘for’ category so I am going to pick two of those reasons and
write topic sentences for them. You should always pick the ideas you know most
about, or in other words, can explain and support with examples.
Topic Sentence 1: Women should be allocated a certain percentage of roles
because to not do so, discriminates against them because of their gender.
Topic Sentence 2: Females should be given a bigger share of jobs because
women currently outperform males in most university subjects.
As you can see, all I have done is simply introduce my ideas in a very clear
way. There is no need to use very advanced to do this, stating their position in
simple language is all students need to do.

Task: Try taking some of the other ideas above and writing a topic sentence.
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Explaining Our ideas
- Explaining ideas is a problem for most students, not because they can’t do it,
but because they don’t see the point in doing it. They think that the examiner
must be an educated person and explaining simple ideas to them is wasting their
time. The students should never assume this and instead I tell my students to
assume that the reader has no knowledge of this subject at all and you need to
explain what you mean in order for them to understand.
- There are certain phrases we can use to explain our ideas such as:

That is to say…. (linking)

In other words… (linking)

This is because… (giving reasons)

The reason is…. (giving reasons)

As a result…. (describing result)

As a consequence…. (describing result)

Therefore…. (describing result)
- Use one of these phrases to explain what the topic sentence means, the reason
why, or the result of the students’ topic sentence. The students don’t need to do
all three, just one. Make sure that anyone with no knowledge of the subject can
understand what their main point is.

Example 1– Women should be allocated a certain percentage of roles, because
to not do so discriminates against them because of their gender. As a result,
women will be denied jobs, not because of their intellect or skill, but simply
because of their sex.
Example 2– Females should be given a bigger share of jobs, because women
currently outperform males in most university subjects. That is to say those
young women are just as qualified as men, if not more, and should therefore be
given at least an equal share in the job market.
- The last point I will make about explanations is they should relate specifically
to the question. They should not generally explain what the idea is; they should
explain how the idea answers the question.
- Make sure the students read the question again before they write a topic
sentence or explanation.
Supporting Examples
The last part of a good supporting paragraph is a relevant example.
Examples give your points more authority and make your argument stronger.
The two main problems here are not being able to think of examples and
examples not being specific enough.
Two good ways to make up examples are using newspaper articles or
university research. I often do this when I am writing sample answers and they
also help students be more specific (see below).
The examiner wants examples to be as specific as possible. To illustrate this
we will look at three examples.
Ex : Women should be allocated a certain percentage of roles, because to not
do so discriminates against them because of their gender. As a result, women
17


will be denied jobs, not because of their intellect or skill, but simply because of
their sex.

Example 1- For example, lots of women fail to get jobs solely on the basis of
their gender.
Example 2– For example, many business women in Asia find it difficult to get
jobs as CEOs, despite having the same qualifications as men.
Example 3– For example, in 2014 it was reported in The Straits Times that only
9 of Singapore’s top 100 companies have female CEOs, despite making up 50%
of the total workforce.
The first example is very general and is not a satisfactory example.
Example 2 is much better but again ‘business women in Asia’ is very general
and does not really support our argument because of this.
Example 3 is a very good example because it used an actual newspaper to report
specific statistics (9%), from a specific place (Singapore) at a specific time
(2014).
Putting it all together
- Below I will put everything we have learned to write two supporting
paragraphs for this question.
2.3. Some guides to help students how to write an effective conclusion.
This lesson will show students all about writing a good conclusion. The
conclusion is very important in the essay, if the students do not write well , they
will leave a weak impression on the examiner and they will lose a whole band
score in task response.
Conclusion are pretty easy to write. The students are just rephrasing main
points, one way is to paraphrase their thesis statement again. No new
information should be added to the conclusion, and it must be short and to the
point. Do not just copy your introduction word for word either, do not repeat
whole sentences
Here are some key points about writing a conclusion.
1.
Never write any new ideas in your conclusion. A conclusion should
always simply restate the ideas you have in the rest of the essay. New ideas

should be in the main body and not in the conclusion.
2.
Make sure you answer the question in the conclusion. The conclusion
should state what you think about the question and make it clear how you feel
about the issue.
3.
Vary your language. Just because you are restating the ideas you have in
the rest of your essay, doesn’t mean you use the same language. Instead you
show the examiner you have a wide vocabulary by paraphrasing.
4.
Don’t try to include everything. You are not required to go into detail,
you have already done that in your main body paragraphs. Instead you will just
summarise your main points.
5.
Always write one. It is very difficult to get a good score in task 2 if you
haven’t finished your essay with a conclusion. Even if you are running out of
time, make sure you write one.
6.
Two sentences are enough.
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Linking Phrases
First we should start with a linking phrase, but some are better than others . Here
are some examples:

In conclusion

To conclude


To sum up.
In conclusion and to conclude are the only two linking phrases you should use
to start your conclusion. They tell the reader exactly what the paragraph is about
and they are formal.
- There are two elements to a good conclusion:
1.
Restating the main points of your essay
2.
Varying your vocabulary by paraphrasing
Luckily we have already stated our main points in the introduction, so all we
have to do is look back at the conclusion and paraphrase this.
- Let’s look at some examples:
Introduction
It is argued that students should be taught real life skills, like how to look
after money. This essay agrees that they should be part of the curriculum. The
essay will first discuss how everyday competencies benefit people later in life
and then talk about the dangers of not being taught how to manage money at
an early age.
- I have completed an effective introduction by doing three things:
1.
Paraphrasing the question
2.
Stating my opinion
3.
Outlining what I will talk about in the rest of the essay or in other words,
the main points I’m using to support my opinion.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that teenagers ought to be
taught functional subjects like financial planning because it helps them in
adulthood and a lack of education related to these topics can have serious

consequences.
So all I have done is restate my opinion and included my main supporting
points. However, I have not simply copied the words, I have used synonyms and
paraphrasing to vary my language.
- Here are the paraphrases I used:
This essay supports- This essay agrees
should- ought to
students- teenagers
functional subjects- real life skills
look after money- financial planning
later in life- adulthood
dangers- serious consequences
- Let’s look at another example:

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Introduction
Contemporary advances have a serious effect on the planet. While I
appreciate that critics may hope that people will shun the latest developments,
I believe that technology itself can give us an answer. This essay will first
discuss how not using electronics is unfeasible, followed by a discussion of
how science is now coming up with ways to reverse global warming and
pollution.
- This introduction does three basic things:
1. Paraphrases the question
2. States opinion
3. Outlines what the essay will discuss
Conclusion
In conclusion, this essay acknowledges that technological progress does

jeopardise the planet, but cutting-edge discoveries can actually halt and even
heal this destruction.
3. Post - writing stage.
Some guides to help students to achieve an writing with flying colour.
- Ask students re-read the essay, make sure sentences, tenses.
- Add phrases to make the essay flow smoothly( conhesion makers, pronouns,
conjunctions) .
- Eliminate “ fluff ” ( unnecessary or redundant details).
- Proofread for spelling, vocabulary, grammar( checklist).
- Edit the paper ( peer-editing, post-teaching editing)
The activities in this stage will help students to gain confidence while writing
and also help them become more and more interested in their writing lessons.
Therefore, after students finish their writings, there are many ways of
responding to students’writing work.
PART III: Practice Excercises
- Ask students to practise writing the following topic, exchange their writings
and after that the teacher give feedback.
Ex 1: Argumentative/Opinion/Agree or Disagree
1. An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”.
Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the
future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?
2. Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate
change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the
responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage.
What are your views?
Ex 2: Discussion (Disscuss both views)
Some people believe that media should be allowed to publish information about
the private lives of famous people. Others say that everybody has a right to
privacy and this practice must be controlled or even stopped. Discuss both
views.

Ex 3 : Problem & Solution
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Example: More and more people now own cars. What are the problems
associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these
problems be solved?
Ex 4: Advantage and Disadvantage
Example: The number of older people is increasing. What are the advantages
and disadvantages of this?
PART IV: Effectiveness of STUDY
In conclusion, using experiences of revisinging for excellent students in Ba
Dinh high school how to write a paragraph is an efficient way to teach writing
skill This way I get the best results in the teaching. It arises students’ motivation.
They study sharing, helping each other and working as a team, group and pair.
So this kind of learning is lasting. During these activities some feelings such as
the pleasure of winning and the ambition of losing may arise. This gives to the
teacher an idea about student’s character. Moreover, The result of teaching
wrting skills has increasingly improved.
- After practising above theory lessons. The students have gained significant
effectiveness such as:
- Developing skill of writing.
- Improving the vocabulary and grammatical structure.
- Being confident in communication.
- Widening knowledge and understanding through reading the sample writings
and gather ideas for the writing lessons.
- Using the vocabulary in each of different situation reasonablely.
- Achieving excellent results in the examinations, especially, in the gifted
students competition.
ðReal numbers:

The first term - Academic year 2018-2019
Grade Total
Excellent(9-10) Good(7-8)
Average(5-6) Under
student
average(<5)
s
Numbe %
Numbe %
Numbe %
Numbe %
r
r
r
r
10
9
0
0
1
11
4
44,
4
44,5
5
The second term - Academic year 2018-2019
Grade Total
Excellent(9-10) Good(7-8)
Average(5-6) Under

students
average(<5)
Numbe %
Numbe %
Numbe %
Numbe %
r
r
r
r
10
8
5
55,6
3
33,
1
11,1
0
0
3
PART V: CONCLUSION AND SUGGESTION
1. Conclusion
During the teaching process in Ba Dinh high school, I have made many
efforts to study, investigate, share experiences from colleagues, draw the
21


experiences from my own teaching. I have also some of the experiences of
teaching the students writing skill in high shool. Besides I often innovate

teaching methods and have used some appropriate strategies to apply in my
lessons. I find that most of students have been interested in my lessons. They
were willing to take part in all of activities, work effectively in the lessons.
Moreover, I have stimulated my students’ interests in creative writing and
develop their writing skills. However,this theme still has some limitations, it is
given out as a contribution to the knowledge of all teachers and students. I hope
that this theme would have effect to both teachers and students in teaching and
learning process.
2. Suggestion.
2.1.Suggestion for teachers.
- Teachers must have creation, enthusiasm and love job and students, always try to
investigate new methods, share experiences with colleagues, use appropriate
techiniques, prepare the plan of teaching well before teaching. Particularly paying
attention to the students’ studying and encourage them to try their best.
2.2. Suggestion for students.
- Must work hard, practice writing a lot essays and share them with
partners.
- Learning by heart the new words, phrases and knowing how to use them in
situations.
- Should read a lot of the sample essays to have more ideas, vocabulary and
can copy the necessary things and the most important things used to write sorts
of essays.
2.3. Suggestion for leaders.
- Leaders should organize the workshops for teachers to share experiences to
improve the quality of teaching, especially sharing the initiative gaining the prizes.
I would like to thank!
The confirmation of the principle
Thanh Hoa, May 19th 2021
I’m sure that this initiative is mine, not
to copy anything from other persons.

Signature

Trần Thị Huệ

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REFERENCES
1. Byrne, D. (1988). Teaching writing skills. Longman: London
Creswell, A. (2000). Self-monitoring in student writing: developing learner
responsibility. ELT Journal, 54(3).
2. Frankenberg – Garcia, A. (1999). Providing student writer with pretext
feedback. ELT Journal, 53 (2).
3. Gipps, C (1994). Beyond Testing: Towards a Theory of Educational
Assessment. London: The Falmer
4. Gabe, W. & Kaplan, RB. (1996). Theory and practice of writing. The USA:
Long Man.
5. Byrne, D. (1988). Teaching Writing Skills. Longman
6. Leki,I.(1976).Academic Writing, Techniques and Tasks: ST.Martin Press,
New York.
7. Raimes, A. (1993). Teachniques in Teaching Writing. OUP.
8. Amer, M. (2013).The Effect of Explicit Instruction in Expository Text
Structure on the Writing Performance of Arab EFL University Students.
9. Sources of knowledge on the Internet.

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DANH MỤC
CÁC ĐỀ TÀI SÁNG KIẾN KINH NGHIỆM ĐÃ ĐƯỢC HỘI ĐỒNG

ĐÁNH GIÁ XẾP LOẠI
Họ và tên tác giả: TRẦN THỊ HUỆ
Chức vụ và đơn vị công tác: Giáo viên tại trường THPT Ba Đình
T
T
1
2

3

4

Tên đề tài SKKN
Hướng dẫn học sinh cách phát âm
phụ âm /s/ và /z/ và hậu tố “ed”
Ôn tập cho học sinh THPT câu bị
động và các dạng bài tập thực hành.
Kinh nghiệm triển khai học tập và
làm theo tấm gương đạo đức Hồ Chí
Minh để nâng cao hiệu quả giáo dục
đạo đức cho học sinh của GVCN ở
trường
“The experiences of revising for
excellent students in Ba Dinh high
school how to write an essay

Cấp đánh
giá

Kết quả

đánh giá

Năm học

Sở GD-ĐT

C

2007 - 2008

Sở GD-ĐT

C

2010 - 2011

Sở GD-ĐT

B

2016 – 2017

Sở GD-ĐT

C

2018-2019

24