Tài liệu Speaking and Writing Strategies for the TOEFL iBT part 14 doc

Integrated Essay - 119



Block style is another way to organize your integrated essay. In the following
example, notice how the reading is summarized first followed by the lecture.

If you use block style, use step-by-step transitions and a transition of contrast to
connect the reading and the lecture.

Which method of organization is best, point-by-point or block style?

Neither. They are simply two ways to organize an integrated essay. Some
test-takers prefer point-by-point. Some prefer block. Only by practicing will
you know which style you prefer.


The reading says that downloading music off the internet without
paying for it is not a crime.
First, the reading says that the internet was originally invented
to be a source of free information. Downloading music without
paying for it is an example of this democratic ideal in action.
Next, the reading states that downloading music from a
friend’s computer is not stealing. It is peer-to-peer file sharing.
File sharing, he says, is not a crime.
Finally, the author says that what he does in the privacy of his
own home is no business of the government or the record
companies. The US is a democracy not a dictatorship.

In sum, the reading states that downloading music off the
internet without paying for it is not a crime. The real criminals
are the government and the record companies trying to take
away people’s freedom and privacy.

However, the lecturer believes that not paying for downloaded
music is a crime.
First, the lecturer states that copyright laws protect music. If
you don’t pay for U2’s latest album, you’re breaking the law.
Next, the lecturer says that musicians should get paid. For
example, Napster, a P2P site, didn’t pay musicians. Napster said
that file sharing wasn’t a crime. The court disagreed and fined
Napster for not paying.
Finally, the lecturer believes that if you steal music, you are a
thief therefore you have no privacy. The law is black and white.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
In conclusion, the lecturer asserts that ripping music off the web
is a crime.


Organization: Block Style

reading
block
lecture
block
Q

A

120 - Integrated Essay
y























TASK: Go back to page 118 and check the point-by-point internet music essay for
coherence using the proficiency checklist.

Does this essay demonstrate organization?
The writer demonstrates organization by using point-by-point style.

Yes √ No _

Does this essay demonstrate progression?
Because the writer is using point-by-point style, the points in the reading
and in the lecture progress in parallel from general to specific. This
demonstrates progression. Yes
√ No _

a. Do the introductions demonstrate development-summarization?
The writer has proficiently summarized the main point (the opinion) in the
reading and in the lecture with no points left out. This demonstrates
introduction development-summarization. Yes √ No _

b. Do the bodies demonstrate development-summarization?
The writer has proficiently summarized the main points (the supporting
illustrations) in the reading and in the lecture with no points left out. This
demonstrates body development-summarization. Yes √ No _

c. Do the conclusions demonstrate development-summarization?
The writer has proficiently summarized the main point (the restated
opinion in the conclusion) in the reading and in the lecture with no points
left out. This demonstrates conclusion development-summarization.
Yes √ No _


Organization
• point-by-point or block style
Progression
• general-specific or specific-general
Development-Summarization

• introduction, body, conclusion
Unity-Synthesis
• topical and grammatical
Language Use-Paraphrasing
• word choice, idioms, sentence variety
O

P

D

U

L

Coherent
Integrated
Essay
C

Check your first draft for Coherence using OPDUL=C.

Step #4
O

P

D

Integrated Essay - 121

a. Does this essay demonstrate topical unity-synthesis?
Using point-by-point style, the writer demonstrates how each point in the
reading and in the lecture is topically united. Because of topical unity,
each point in the lecture “casts doubt on” each corresponding point in the
reading. There are no topical digressions. This demonstrates topical unity-
synthesis. Yes √ No _

b. Does this essay demonstrate grammatical unity-synthesis?
There are no mistakes in syntax, word choice or spelling. The transitions of
contrast are correct. These elements combined demonstrate grammatical
unity-synthesis. Yes √ No _

Does this essay demonstrate proficient language use-paraphrasing?
The writer uses synonyms to restate the main points in the lecture. This
demonstrates proficient language-use paraphrasing. Yes
√ No _

Does this essay (argument) demonstrate coherence?
Because of Organization, Progression, Development-summarization, Unity-
synthesis and L
anguage-Use-paraphrasing, the writer has proficiently
“summarized the points in the lecture” and shown how they “cast doubt on
the points in the reading.” This demonstrates coherence (OPDUL=C
).
Yes
√
No _

According to the Integrated Essay Rating Guide (page 316), this first draft will score
in the 4.0-5.0 range.

1. If you have time, paraphrase the reading passage. This will demonstrate greater
language use-paraphrasing (OPDUL
=C).









To paraphrase means to restate using synonyms. When you paraphrase, write
objectively. Use third person singular and the present tense, for example:

1. original The author of the reading states that downloading music off the
internet without paying for it is not a crime.

paraphrase The reading says that it is not a crime to download music off the web
and not pay for it.
U

L

C

Revision Checklist: What do I need to revise?

Paraphrasing

Revise your first draft using your revision checklist.

Step #5
122 - Integrated Essay
y

2. original First, the reading says that the internet was originally invented to be
a source of free information. Downloading music without paying for it
is an example of this democratic ideal in action.

paraphrase First, the reading states that the internet is a democracy. Therefore,
everything on the internet is free, including music.


3. original Next, the reading states that downloading music from a friend’s
computer is not stealing. It is peer-to-peer file sharing. File sharing,
he says, is not a crime.

paraphrase Next, the reading claims that P2P file sharing isn’t a crime. You’re
simply sharing what you love: music.


4. original Finally, the author says that what he does in the privacy of his own
home is no business of the government or the record companies. The
US is a democracy not a dictatorship.

paraphrase Finally, the author of the reading believes that this is a privacy issue.
Record companies and the government can’t tell him what he can or
can’t do.


5. original In sum, the reading states that downloading music off the internet
without paying for it is not a crime. The real criminals are the
government and record companies trying to take away people’s
freedom and privacy.

paraphrase In conclusion, the reading claims that downloading internet music
without paying for it isn’t a crime. The true criminals are the
government and the music industry taking away people’s right to
freedom and privacy.

Integrated Essay - 123



After you revise your essay, submit it.

Look at the submitted essay below. Note the space between each point. This makes
it easier to read and rate. Note also that the reading has been paraphrased.

The reading says that it is not a crime to download music off
the web and not pay for it.
However, the lecturer believes it’s a crime.

First, the reading states that the internet is a democracy.
Therefore, everything on the internet is free, including music.
In contrast, the lecturer states that copyright laws protect
music. If you don’t pay for U2’s latest album, you’re breaking

the law.

Next, the reading claims that P2P file sharing isn’t a crime.
You’re simply sharing what you love: music.
However, the lecturer says that musicians should get paid. For
example, Napster, a P2P site, didn’t pay musicians. Napster
said file sharing wasn’t a crime. The court disagreed and fined
Napster for not paying.

Finally, the author of the reading believes that this is a privacy
issue. Record companies and the government can’t tell him
what to do.
In contrast, the lecturer believes that if you steal music, you
are a thief therefore you have no privacy. The law is black and
white. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

In conclusion, the reading claims that downloading internet
music without paying for it isn’t a crime. The true criminals are
the government and the music industry taking away people’s
right to freedom and privacy.
However, the lecturer asserts that ripping music off the web is
a crime.

Submit your essay.


Step #6