Government investment in arts đã sửa

Overall: ~6.5
- Task response: 7.0
o Đã trả lời đầy đủ và phát triển đủ các ý đề bài yêu cầu
o Kết luật hơp lý, thống nhất với body. Nhưng ở phần kết luận vẫn cần phải
nhắc lại ý kiến của bản thân (dùng các từ personaly hoặc I believe, etc…)
o Đưa ra các luận cứ hợp lý và liên quan.
- Coherence & Cohesion: 6.0
o Sắp xếp các đoạn hợp lý, rõ ràng, có sự phát triển ý tốt, dùng từ nối tốt.
o Chú ý, từ mở đầu giữa các đoạn phải tương thích (Ví dụ, đoạn 1 dùng Firstly
thì đoạn 2 phải là Secondly; đoạn 1 là On the one hand thì đoạn 2 là On the
other hand)
- Lexical Resources: 6.5
o Vốn từ tốt, đã có nhiều từ nâng cao. Cố gắng áp dụng các từ mình đã học vào
trong bài để khơng phải đi tra từ điển tìm trợ giúp nhé.
o Có lỗi chính tả
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 6.0
o Sử dụng tốt kết hợp giữa những câu đơn và câu phức.
o Đoạn kết sử dụng cấu trúc “Both sth1 and sth2 are….” thì sẽ sáng nghĩa
hơn

Writing: Government investment in arts, such as music and theatre is a waste of
money. Government should invest this money in public services instead. To what extent
do you agree with this statement?
Answer
Many people believe There are many opinions that the government should invest in
public services rather than wasting of national budgets on investments in art such as
music and theater. I personally do not fullypartly agree with this view for the reasons
discussed below.
On the one hand, I agree that governments should spend most of their national budgets
on developing public services. Especially for poor or developing countries, the

government's attention should be placed on infrastructure, facilities as well as health care
services and education systems, which factors are important to promote the success of a
nation. For example, in poor countries in Africa, it is undeniable that people here need
medical and educational services rather than entertainment services.
On the other handHowever, I believe that enjoying art is one of the essential needs in
today's modern human life. In fact, the standard of living is constantly increasing, and
many people demand to see music and theatre as a entertainment, which gives them great
joy. Therefore, the government should also consider investing in art services, which do
not only satisfy the entertainment needs of the people but also helps to disseminate
national cultural values through music, movies or paintings... For instance, Vietnam is
still a developing country, but the Vietnamese people are always proud of the traditional
arts recognized by UNESCO such as Quan Ho folk songs, Ca trù ...., this is because it is
Tthe Vietnamese government has always invested properly in preserving cultural and
artistic heritage.
In short, I hold a strong belief that both investing in public services and, or investing in
art areis essential and haves certain advantagesbenefits, so the governments of each
country should consider using distributing the budget for both aforementioned sectors the
above investments a reasonable way.