Thái độ ứng xử gia đình, xã hội được thể hiện trong thành ngữ, tục ngữ của người việt

Thái độ ứng xử gia đình, xã hội được thể hiện
trong thành ngữ, tục ngữ của người Việt
Familial and social behavior expressed in
Vietnamese’s idioms and proverbs
Trần Thị Phượng
Viện Việt Nam học
Luận văn Thạc sĩ Chuyên ngành: Việt Nam học; Mã số: 60 22 01 13
Người hướng dẫn: PGS.TS. Vũ Đức Nghiệu
Năm bảo vệ: 2013
Abstract. Through surveying reliable linguistic data of idioms and proverbs, the
thesis relatively presents systematically and particularly the content of Vietnamese
behavior in familial and social relationships in idioms and proverbs. Initially, the
thesis raises outstanding features of Vietnamese behavior as well as determines their
attitude of praising or criticizing towards detailed ways of behavior. Bu doing this,
the thesis adds real information about behavioral conception of Vietnamese people
which is recorded and reflected in selected ancient linguistic data. It is indispensable
information for researching Vietnamese culture which the thesis achieves. With
detail and particular appendix, the thesis provides linguistic data source of idioms
and proverbs with the content of Vietnamese behavior in familial and social
relationships for people who are interested in learning or researching.
Keywords. Thái độ ứng xử; Văn hóa dân gian; Thành ngữ; Tục ngữ
Content.
INTRODUCTION
1.
Rationale and aims of thesis.
Being a social phenomenon, language functions as the most important tool of human
communicating. Simultaneously, it implements function of reflecting - function as a tool of
human thought. The knowledge, experiences and perception of people about the physical
and spiritual world of humanity are all preserved in language in the form of concepts,
contents "contained" in the words.
Since ancient times, folk knowledge is mainly handed down by word of mouth method.

Thus, the lessons and behavioral experiences in life were stored, summarized in the idioms,
proverbs, folk songs,… the elements of folk literature. Therefore, in order to find out the
behavioral traditional way of Vietnamese (this conception is considered as Viet people or
Kinh people) in the family and society, doing research the source of linguistic data from folk
literature proves more effective and predominant compared with the source of other written
ones. Moreover, folk literature, including idioms and proverbs is precious literary treasure
which has overcome challenges of time to become an important element in the national
cultural heritage. Especially, through the art of using words, proverbs have summarized
people's intellect, reflecting the diversified relationships in society as well as the way of


behavior showing national spirit and moral standards. For this reason, research Vietnamese
familial and social behavior expressed in folk literature does contribute to seeking the
national cultural identity, thinking and lifestyle.
For years, researching treasure of Vietnamese idioms and proverbs, the authors focused only
on mining and unraveling the varied contents that are reflected with the characteristics of the
structure, prosody of proverbs. Problems of behaving and handling the relationships between
man and nature, man and society, man and themselves expressed in folk literature have
recently attracted the interest in further research of scholars. However, in researches of
familial and social relationships expressed in proverbs and folk songs, by reading the
relevant documents, we found that they mainly clarified reflection of particular relationships
without highlighting Vietnamese behavior in those relationships. Therefore, in this thesis,
through studying linguistic data of idioms and proverbs, we will go deep into clarifying the
Vietnamese behavior in particular relationships and, simultaneously, will indicate
assessments and direct or indirect attitude of praising or criticizing of folk to behavior
mentioned.
According to the policies and guidelines of the Party and State, Vietnam is in the process of
building an advanced culture imbued with national identity. Along with the momentum of
integration, acquirement the quintessence of world-wide culture, it is extremely critical to
look back, to preserve fine traditional culture of the nation. So researching behavioral

culture of the Vietnamese people to find cultural inherence for practical national
development is urgently necessary.
2. History os issue
Recently, the issue of "behavioral culture" has been much interested in Vietnam. In
perspectives of sociology, culture or psychology, there are researches on this topic. For
examples: “Behavioral culture of the ethnics in Vietnam” written by author Pham Vu Dung
[16]; “Behavioral culture of Hanoi people with the natural environment” written by author
Nguyen Viet Chuc [45]; “Discuss the behavioral culture of Vietnamese people” written by
author Nguyen Tat Thinh [53]; “Behavioral psychology” written by author Le Thi
Bung[5]… Depending on the requirements of each specialty, the authors have studied the
behavioral culture from the different perspectives of approach and because of being a
different major compared with those, we do not mention them in our study. We only
preliminarily point the main contents of some research in which authors more or less
exploited this subject through the resource of folk literature, especially idiom and proverb as
elements of folk literature:
Tran Thi Thuy Anh, the author of the study: “Traditional social behavior of the
Vietnamese people in Northern delta” [1] “tried to build a model of traditional social
behavior of the Vietnamese people in Northern delta … with spiritual values, including:
friendliness – tolerance – simplicity – happiness …”. The new thing we find in this research
is that the author used a research method of region- splitting, or research method of
“Cultural geography”. The writer divided into sub-regions in the northern delta; however,
she did not explicitly make mention of characteristics of behavior in each region, only paid
attention to aspects of material culture. Using folk songs, proverbs as "tools" (the word used
by the author), but sources of folk songs, proverbs are actually few. Main approach of this
study leans toward history and culturology …
With research: “Behavioral culture of women through Vietnamese folk song
treasure” [17], the author Pham Vu Dung emphasized some of the contents, outstanding
qualities of Vietnam and Vietnamese people: “Those are patriotism, diligence, sense of
community and national solidarity, harmony, moderation; consistency, being easy to
amalgamate without conservatism; creativity and acumen; being full of affection,

appreciation of benevolence and righteousness; living and behaving based on affection;
tolerance and harmony …”. [17, p. 39].


With research: “Proverbs, folk songs about familial relationships” [34], the author Pham
Viet Long indicated that there are four basic familial relationships in proverbs. They are
relationships of: husband-wife, parents -children, siblings, daughter in-law and son in-law –
family. In which, the husband-wife relationship is reflected the most compared with other
relationships. “On the overview of the Vietnamese familial relationships, except the
tensional relationship between the daughter in law and mother in law, other ones are
reflected with warm look, highlighting cohesion, harmony and responsibility which are
considered as criteria to build cozy and sustainable family. Thanks to this, the main flow of
familial proverbs has created the sonority of humanitarianism encouraging love and
attachment among people.” [34, p. 111].
With research: “Reflection of familial and social relationships in proverbs, folk songs” [3],
the author Do Thi Bay pointed out the Vietnamese familial relationships reflected in
proverbs including the relationships of: grandparents - grandchildren, parents - children;
husband - wife; siblings; mother in law - daughter in law, parents in law – son in law,
stepmother – stepchildren, stepfather - stepchildren; relatives: uncles, aunts. The social
relationships include the ones of: teacher-student; friends; compatriots; owners - employees;
kings and mandarins - masses. Overall, this study comprehensively reflected Vietnamese
familial and social relationships; However, because of such largeness the author has not
carefully analyze to show dominant relationships as well as behavioral characteristics of
Vietnamese people have not been clearly focused.
3.
Objectives and scope of thesis
The main objective of this thesis is behavior in the family and society of Vietnamese people.
We take idioms, proverbs as research materials to find out how Vietnamese people behave
in relationships; this is different from taking these elements of folk literature as the objective
of thesis. Therefore, in this study, we will not explore the art of expressions of idioms and

proverbs.
It can be said that behavioral culture is related to many fields such as: culture studies,
psychology, sociology, economics, education and history… in direct or indirect form.
However, in this thesis, we try to approach the subject based on exploiting treasure of
idioms and proverbs of the Vietnamese people, localized with the treasure of idioms and
proverbs of other ethnic groups; which means traditional behavioral culture of the
Vietnamses people recorded in these two elements of folk literature.
Contents of behavioral culture are determined according to system of interactions between
people and the natural environment, people and the others, people and themselves.
Accordingly, generally, it is considered in detail systems: behaving towards natural;
behaving in the family (husband - wife, parents - children, among siblings, among relatives)
and behaving in society (among friends, teachers - students, among neighbors ...), which
mean the behavioral relationships among members of community; behaving towards self
(the conception of human life). However, in this thesis, we only consider the way of
behavior between members in the community of Viet people. Thus, two main research
objectives and scope corresponding to two chapters of this thesis are: behavior of
Vietnamese pople in familial relationships and behavior of Vietnamese people in social
relationships.
Linguistics data used in the thesis are collected from "Dictionary of Vietnamese Idioms”
included 728 pages written by the authors Nguyen Nhu Y, Nguyen Van Khang, Phan Xuan
Thanh [61]; “Treasure of Vietnamese proverbs” written by the authors Nguyen Xuan Kinh
(chief editor), Nguyen Thuy Loan, Phan Lan Huong, Nguyen Luan [30] with 8194 units of
proverb. These are two relatively abundant and comprehensive data source compiled
according to a scientific, modern method being convenient for lookup. However, in this
linguistics data source there are units which are not completely proverbs or idioms, but
because of respecting for the actual collection of the authors, we accept without comment,
exclusion.


4.

Research tasks
We define the first task of research in this thesis is survey idioms, proverbs recorded in
reliable sources. After that, we collects idioms, proverbs expressed Vietnamese behavior in
the family and society. Then, we analysis to find out that in which correlation these
behaviors are expressed, how behavior among people is described and how the folk assess
and show attitude of praising or criticizing to the behavior mentioned.
5.
Method of thesis
In this thesis, we apply and combine research methods of disciplines: folk literature,
sociology, culture studies and especially interdisciplinary research methods.
Being an expression of culture, thought of a community, social behavior should be
considered as a general social phenomenon; thus to approach it, we need a synthesis method.
To achieve the target of the thesis which is both description of behavior in particular familial
and social relationships, and generalization to clarify the characteristics behavioral culture of
Vietnamese, Viet ethnic group, synthetic interdisciplinary research method will provide
more considerable efficiency.
After collecting linguistic data, deriving from them, we go to classify, describe, analyze and
give comments. Manipulation of verification through a few quantities is also implemented.
6.
Contribution of the thesis
We hope that this thesis will achieve some results as follows:
6.1. The thesis presents relatively particularly and systematically contents of Vietnamese
familial and social behavior reflected in idioms, proverbs.
6.2. Initially, the thesis shows prominent features in Vietnamese way of behavior
recorded in idiom and proverb, since then, it contributes to research, identify their
characteristics of thinking, lifestyle and affection.
7.
Organization of the thesis
Besides the introduction, conclusion, references, appendix the thesis is divided into three
chapters.

Chapter 1: Some basic theoretical issues of the thesis
Chapter 2: Vietnamese behavior in familial relationships through idioms and proverbs
Chapter 3: Vietnamese behavior in social relationships through idioms and proverbs
CHAPTER 1: SOME BASIC THEORETICAL ISSUES OF THE THESIS
1.1. The relationship between language and culture
Language is the objective of linguistics discipline, and culture is the one of culture studies.
However, considering the relationship between the two these concepts, it seems there is no
equality between them.
Firstly, language and culture are products of man with their labor and thinking; that is the
human phenomenon. E.D. Sapir – Professor of linguistics at Yale University raised:
Language is a cultural product, is not a biological function. [6, p. 51]. Language is a cultural
phenomenon, a part of the culture. Culture has wide denotation while language has more
confined denotation but wider connotation. According to Nguyen Van Chien [6, p. 51], the
relationship between language and culture is the one of containing each other; there are
difficulties, intersection and similarity between them.
However, according to Professor Nguyen Lai, with language contained by cultural category,
it is only a formal arrangement; there is an issue hidden in it in the more depth. It is that the
formation of language is the multiple premise of the formation of culture. So, at many levels,
language is the premise for the development of cultural objects. And the development of
culture continues to provide conditions to the language development.
Language and culture harmonize with each other to develop on the principle of inheriting
tradition; so, they contain themselves many of the most unique features of ethnic
community’s nuances.


Unlike any other cultural phenomenon, language is a peculiar cultural phenomenon because
language is not only a cultural product but also a mean of recording other cultural
phenomena. In addition to this, language in which cultural phenomena are reserved in a long
time is a tool to show cultural characteristics of the community.
1.2. The concepts of “behavior” and “cultural behavior”

1.2.1. The concept of “behavior”
In our opinion, human behavior is not only confined to the selective response towards
communication partner to find out the best communication results, but it also includes all
actions, attitude of the man towards natural and social environment and himself trough detail
relationships. Human behavior contains individual or social knowledge, thinking,
psychology and feelings; in addition to this, most of behavior is symbolization.
1.2.2. Concept of “Behavioral culture”
We agree with the concept of behavioral culture written by Nguyen Thi Hong Thu in
doctoral thesis of Literature: “Japanese proverbs of behavioral culture (in comparison with
Vietnamese proverbs)” [55]: “Behavioral culture is human’s manner of behavior towards
their habitat (natural and social environment) and themselves. It carries national features,
inheritability, humanity, transforming complicatedly through time”. [55, p. 38].
1.3. Proverb and idiom
1.3.1. Concepts of proverb and idiom
1.3.1.1.
Concept of proverb
So far, in the world as well as in Vietnam, there are many definitions of proverbs, but no one
of them is considered standard to be able to apply in researching all aspects of proverbs.
In spite of giving the concepts of proverb being not entirely the same, the authors all paid
attention to the "structural stability", "sustainable form" of proverb. In our opinion, the
definition given by author Nguyen Duc Dan in "morality in proverb" is the most appropriate
of all: “Proverb is a series of statements with structural stability, reflecting the knowledge,
the experience, the conception (of folk) of a nationality of objective world, nature as well as
society.” [10, p. 58].
1.3.1.2.
Concept of idiom
We agree with the author Hoang Van Hanh in “Vietnamese idioms” raised definition as
follows: “Idiom is kind of fixed word combination with stability of form - structure,
complete and polished meaning, being widely used in daily communication, especially in
oral language.” [24, p. 27]

1.3.1.3.
Distinction between proverb and idiom
It can be seen that, so far, there are two conceptions raised to distinguish idiom from
proverb; one based on content and the other based on function. However, considering two
couples of “concept – judgment” (of the first conception) and of “naming – announcing” (of
the other conception), we can see that couple “concept – judgment” is contained by couple
“naming – announcing”. Because concept is used to name and judgment is a form of
announcing. The authors acknowledge the intersection between idiom and proverb,
according to above quotations, intersection part is significantly large. According to the
author Trieu Nguyen: “Confusion between idiom and proverb, in fact, has been considered
as an obviousness, even no one assesses it as a mistake. (This is expressed through
collection and compilation of idioms and proverbs so far, even that the confusedness of later
ones is more serious than the confusedness of previous published ones.” [41, p. 45]
From the opinions of authors, we claim that it is possible to distinguish idiom from proverb
on both respects of content and form as follows: Formally, idiom and proverb are both
available units; idiom is phrases or lexical units while proverb is sentences, clauses or short
text, being not verbal units. Regarding the content, the content of idiom is equivalent to
conception of objects, properties or processes while the content proverb is judgments,
conclusions or experiences of the folk.
1.3.2. Proverb and idiom in the relationships with folklore and folk literature


Folklore consisting of the cultural materials of the pre-modern societies with a pure
agriculture but without script is popularized and preserved by word of mouth through noninstitutional and traditional channels of communication.
Folk literature is a part of both national literature and folklore. As a component of the
folklore, folk literature is also one of the factors of intangible culture. Some its respects are
close to philosophy, chronicle, folk beliefs, folk customs, and customary laws of traditional
communities. These genres of intangible culture have attachment and mutual relationship,
affect each other and interlock spontaneously; even it is sometimes difficult to separate.
Proverb is a genre of folk literature. In it, we can find out the recognition of folk knowledge

and experience in labor, production, behavior, customs, habits, beliefs or performing
activities.
In classification of the folk literature into genres, the researchers do not arrange idiom as the
one. It is a special type of linguistic unit in a national language. Hiding behind the cover of a
communication language, idiom contains a large amount of living experience, ways of
treatment and behavior, folk conceptions. Because of this reason, it is easy to find out
performing activities, ways of speaking, conceptions of the folk. It is customs, traditional
beliefs which is preserved in the treasure of idiom. It is a mean to popularize culture of
nationalities.
If dividing Folklore into three components: Linguistic Folklore; Plastic Folklore and
Performing Folklore, it is proverb and idiom which are genres occupying a large quantity of
linguistic Folklore. With other genres, they play an important and main role in spreading
Vietnamese folklore.
1.3.3. Reflecting content proverb and idiom
1.3.3.1.
Reflecting content of proverb

Proverb reflects production experiences

Proverb records historical and social events and phenomena
a/ A few memories, historical phenomena of nation
b/ Proverb of Viet people mainly reflects the characteristics of familial and social activities,
material and spiritual activities in the feudality.
Firstly: The habits and customs, "the postulates" in people's lives.
Secondly: The activities of Vietnamese rural life in feudality.
Thirdly: Reflecting family organization and kinship relations of people in feudal society.
Fourthly: Reflecting the lives of employees and the social relations in feudal society.

Proverb shows folk philosophy
a/ Proverb displays spirit of humanism, the humanity of working people. This is expressed,

firstly, through conception of people
b/ Proverbs represents pride, praising of prosperous country, talented people with distinctive
features
c/ Many proverbs represent the spirit of struggle, criticism, condemnation of working
people.
d/ Proverb reflects abundant qualities of working people, traditional thought and morality of
people through the comments, profound contemplations of reality.
e/ Proverb reflects experiences of people in real life, however many proverb units show the
spontaneous materialistic awareness.
1.3.3.2.
Reflecting content of idiom
In fact, there was no certain research raising reflection content of idiom as clearly and
particularly as raising one of proverb. The reason is that function of naming objects, facts,
process, function of expressing concepts of idiom are different from function of showing
judgments about certain situation or state of proverb.
The value of each idiom is equivalent to the one of a word, so it is impossible to observe as
well as describe completely the contents of idiom. This is extremely difficult and


complicated work. Therefore, the classification idioms based on content respect is able to
conduct in the same way of grouping words according to meaning or different criteria. In
this thesis, we use Vietnamese idioms with the content of reflecting behavior in family and
society as research data, in which, it is cultural behavior of Viet people reflected.
1.3.4. Role of proverb and idiom in preservation folk knowledge and experiences
Folk literature by word of mouth with proverb, folk songs, fairy tales… has appeared in
many societies before people found handwriting. Thus, elements of folk literature are
important literary documents of many nationalities in the world including Viet nationality.
In ancient Vietnamese society, the quantity of people with literacy to express ideals,
feelings in handwriting (demotic script or Han script) is very modest. The majority of the
population composed and stored linguistic works in the oral form; so, oral folk literature is

extremely abundant and important in Vietnamese literature.
Firstly, idiom and proverb are treasures containing knowledge and experiences of
folk about nature and society. Not only raising ways of naming objects, phenomena through
a part of lexical units – idiom, but the folk also presented judgments based on experiences
and direct observations. Thus, to approach treasure of folk knowledge and experiences,
exploiting linguistic data of proverb is effective work.
In the research “Towards the establishment vocabulary of Viet culture” [6], the
author Nguyen Van Chien gave concept of “sign of culture key-word”. It is a basic lexical
unit in treasure of culture key-word in a language; being a linguistic morphology showing
concepts and recording cultural features of a nationality. And of course, they include
thought, experiences, knowledge of the folk about nature, society, behavior manners
between people with nature, society and themselves.
Sub-conclusion:
In conclusion, in chapter one, we discussed several concepts such as: behavior,
behavioral culture; concepts of proverb, idiom and distinction between them. Around these
concepts, many researchers raised not the same opinions.
In this thesis, we agree with conceptions: human behavior is very abundant and
diversified, including all reactions and attitude towards natural and social environment,
towards themselves. Behavioral culture contains all behavioral manners of human, carrying
national features, inheritability, humanity, transforming complicatedly through time.
Regarding to concept of proverb, we agree with author Nguyen Duc Dan, with
conception: Proverb is a series of statements with structural stability, reflecting the
knowledge, the experience, the conception (of folk) of a nationality of objective world,
nature as well as society. While, idioms are fixed phrases with complete structure and
meaning. Their meanings are iconic and suggestive. After that, we believe that it is possible
to distinguish idiom and proverb in both respects of content and form as above.
We also recognize that idiom and proverb are genres occupying a large quantity in
linguistic folklore, playing an important role in preservation and popularization folklore of
Viet people, in particular, knowledge and living experiences of the folk.
Those theories are used as bases to survey and analyze linguistic data in next

chapters.
CHAPTER 2: VIETNAMESE BEHAVIOR IN FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIPS
THROUGH IDIOMS AND PROVERBS
2.1. Familial relationships of Vietnamese
Because Vietnamese family and kinship relations are extremely complicated and being not
researched much, in this thesis, we only mention behavior in nuclear family and a part of
extended family. Particularly, they are main relationships as follows: Wife – husband;
Parents – children; Sisters and brothers; Relative relationships with uncles and aunts
2.2. General characteristics of Vietnamese family


One of the roots for forming and locating family of Viet people is traditional mode of
production – wet rice cultivation in the form of self-sufficiency. As a result this, it can be
seen that the most typical feature of Viet people’s family is pure agriculture.
The second characteristic is the small family structure by male blood. According to
researchers, with overview and popularization, we can see that structurally, the form of Viet
people’s family is mainly nuclear family with male blood and the father as the head of the
family.
However, a special feature of Vietnamese family by male blood is relatively high status of
women.
In terms of aspect of community and social structure, Vietnamese family is the smallest
community unit at grassroots level. It is the unit which preserves and maintains the best all
traditional values and identity of Viet nationality on almost respects of production,
economics, religion, belief, behavioral culture, …
2.3. Behavior in basic familial relationships of Vietnamese people
2.3.1. Relationship between wife and husband
2.3.1.1.
Generalization of relationship between wife and husband
Through 223 units of idiom and proverb surveyed, we found 196 units (88%) reflecting
folk’s comments and assessments of features of spouse relationship; 14 units expressing the

content of spouse in the relationship with two family sides (6%); 13 units referring to spouse
in the relationship with village (6%). Regarding general wife and husband relationship, the
strong attachment between them (in 36 units) and relying on each other (in 36 units) are
reflected the most. It is considered as the main, primary characteristic represented firstly in
idiom and proverb. In which, the content of relying on husband of wife is more abundant
than the one of relying on wife of man. Husband frequently, mainly depends on wife for
running household effectively, stabilizing orderly life, for contributing to his success, while,
wife primarily depends on her man for material field, for enjoining honor and wealth from
his achievement as well as position in society. In terms of the content of spouse in the
relationship with two family sides, meanwhile a woman values her husband and husband’s
family more than her family, a man can separate from his wife but cannot do that to his
parents and siblings. To a woman, her family maybe benefits from her husband’s
achievement while to a man with face, he does not accept dependence on maternal family.
Therefore, it is easy to see that in Vietnamese family, the man play the role of a firm support
carrying a life with full material for his wife and children while the woman protects family
happiness and looking after her husband, children and paternal family with all her heart.
2.3.1.2.
Behavior in conjugal relationship
Regarding to general behavior in wife and husband relationship, by surveying linguistic
data, we found that there are two trends: positive and negative trend as follows:
Firstly: Positive behavior
a/ Living in harmony
Harmony not only makes the family life cozy, but also creates strength to overcome
difficulties.
However, examining the source corpus, we find that the living peace is mainly implied by
wife to her husband. Her first particular behavior to maintain the peaceful life is flexible
responses depending on each situation of her husband (8 units). If the husband is angry, the
wife have to speak less and actively make peace with him: “Chồng đã giận, vợ bớt lời”;
“Chồng giận thì vợ bớt lời, cơm sôi nhỏ lửa một đời không khê”; “Chồng giận thì vợ làm
lành”. If husband makes tense, wife have to be gently and soft: “Chồng tới vợ lui, chồng hòa

vợ thuận”; “Chồng tới vợ phải lui”. In case of that husband uses violence to wife, it is wise
of her to avoid his thrashing: “Trai khôn tránh khỏi địn quan, gái khơn tránh khỏi địn
chồng”.
b/ Behavior of faithfulness, affection and gratitude


Faithfulness behavior is required of both wife and husband (2 units): “Đói no một vợ một
chồng”; “Đổi quần đổi áo thời hay, đổi chồng đổi vợ xưa nay chẳng lành”. However, this
behavior is mainly raised for wife to her husband (6 units). To specify, women always
accept all vices or defects of their men. Ex: “Ngu si cũng thể chồng ta, giẫu rằng khôn khéo
cũng ra chồng người”. And they determine not to get married twice: “Gái chính chuyên
chẳng lấy hai chồng”. In case of husband’s death, the woman is faithful, doing worship,
feeding children: “Ghe bầu chở lái về đông, làm thân con gái thờ chồng nuôi con”.
c/ Behavior of respect and honor protection for each other
Mutual respect between spouses is also a fine behavioral aspect mentioned by folk: “ Tương
kính như tân". Inseparable attachment of spouse relationship is also evidently expressed in
the behavior protection of life partner’s honor as of his own honor. For this result, the folk
recorded that: “Xấu chàng hổ ai" ; “Xấu thiếp hổ chàng". Wife or husband is shamed or
embarrassed by dint of misbehavior or bad attitude of the life partner. Particularly, for the
wife, respectful and courteous attitude to husband is considered essential in her behavior:
“Con ông đô đốc, quận công, lấy chồng cũng phải gọi chồng bằng anh”.
d/ Behavior of educating
It can be said that the folk praises action and manner of mutual education of husband and
wife: “Gái ngoan giết chó khun chồng, giai khơn mài dao dạy vợ” . With the later, her
behavior is gentle and soft but with the former, his one towards his wife is conducted more
strongly and decisively. Husband’s behavior of educating to wife is mentioned clearly in
five other units of proverb with praising implication: Ex. “Vợ con dạy ở trong cửa trong
nhà”. For men, giving education to wife is not only giving advice or admonition but it is also
teaching.
e/ Behavior of loving and sacrificing

We record only one unit of proverb mentioning husband’s love to wife: “Chồng yêu cái tóc
nên dài, cái duyên nên đẹp, cái tài nên khôn”, meanwhile, there are seventeen units of both
idiom and proverb – the overwhelming quantity with the content of love and sacrificing
awareness of wife to husband.
Wife look husband after and pampers him (6 units): Vd. “Nâng khăn sửa túi”. Additionally,
their endurance and patience are indispensable in order to protect family life: “Có con phải
khổ vì con, có chồng phải ngậm bồ hịn đắng cay”. Because of their husband, make light of
hardship, volunteering to take on familial difficulties, even social work (5 units): “Có chồng
gánh giang sơn nhà chồng”; “Thương chồng nên phải gắng công, nào ai xương sắt, da đồng
chi đây”. One other notable feature of behavior of wife to her husband recorded is generosity
and tolerance (2 units): Vd. “Thương chồng phải bồng con ghẻ”.
Secondly: Negative behavior
a/ Behavior of traitorousness without affection and gratitude
Firstly, that is behavior of living with together because of money, not affection and
gratitude, which is reflected in 14 units (occupying approximate 30%, the most quantity of
the one of negative behaviors). In which, traitorousness behavior is criticized the most: Ex.
“Chồng ăn chả, vợ ăn nem”. However, with this behavior committed by wife toward her
husband, we found in 6 units: Ex. “Ngồi buồn rứt ruột thở dài, nhớ chồng thì ít nhớ trai thì
nhiều”; “Chồng chết chưa héo cỏ đã bỏ đi lấy chồng.
b/ Behavior of belittlement to each other
Behavior of belittlement in spouse relationship is firstly showed through mutual
disparagement, so the folk give warnings: “Trai chê vợ mất của tay không, gái chê chồng
một đồng trả bốn”; “Trai chê vợ như của đổ xuống sông, gái chê chồng của một mà hai”. To
man, folk criticize his disparagement attitude toward his wife: “Coi vợ già như chó nằm nhà
gác”.
c/ Non-standard behavior


Vietnamese people appropriate behavior with moderation, so that the immoderate attitude in
conjugal relationship is reprehensible. Husband and wife do not make mutual concessions,

no one accept to be less competitive than the other, which leads to behavior on their own
initiative (6 units): Ex. “Chồng đánh bạc, vợ đánh bài”. Husband respects his wife without
moderation: “Nhất vợ nhì giời”. There is a critical implication for husband’s behavior of
excessive dignifying his wife. This is considered as non-standard behavior of man. Wife
takes advantage love and good-nature of husband to display excesses without respect:
“Chồng yêu xỏ chân lỗ mũi”. She courts fondling and pampering from husband: “Chồng rẫy
thì lơ chơ, chồng chờ thì lỏng chỏng”. In the case of being done violence to by husband, the
wife displaying the fact to public (“vạch áo cho người xem lưng”) will be criticized: “Chồng
đánh chồng mắng ra ngõ mà gào”.
d/ Bad behavior in handling conflict and friction
Friction is easy to understand in all relationships. Discord and conflict of husband and wife:
“Muối chẳng ưa, dưa chẳng lành”; “Vợ chồng như mặt trăng, mặt trời” inevitably lead to
argument and quarrel. This behavior is in a advice of the folk: “Vợ chồng chớ cãi nhau hồi,
sao cho trong ấm thì ngồi mới êm”. Not only by making quarrel, but the conjugal tension
and conflict sometimes are also solved by incidents, violence, even cruel treatments: “Gái
giết chồng, đàn ông ai giết vợ”. In addition to using violence to resolve conflicts, the couple
separate from each other, leading to broken family: “Cơm chẳng lành, canh chẳng ngon,
chín đụn mười con cũng lìa”.
e/ Behavior of browbeating and oppressing
In this negative behavior, wife’s attitude is mainly only “bắt nạt” (a kind of bullying
behavior) husband: Ex. “Làm gì những thói đưa đong, gái bắt nạt chồng em chẳng có
ngoan”. To husband, out of home, he may does bad a deed, but, at home he still gives his
airs or finding faults of wife and children: “Đi cúi mặt xuống đất, về cất mặt lên trời”; or
fabricating, browbeating, oppressing his wife: “Quan nói hiếp, chồng có nghiệp nói thừa”.
f/ Other negative behavior
Some other negative behaviors showed primarily by wife to husband also recorded as
follows:
Wife takes advantage husband: “Lấy chồng ăn những của chồng, ăn hết con mắt khoét lòng
con ngươi”; or destroying the achievements her husband gained: “Chồng vo tròn, vợ bóp
bẹp”. Additionally, wife is dishonest with husband: “Chồng ra khỏi cửa nồi ba, chồng ở nhà

niêu mốt”; in spite of anger with husband, the wife vents her spleen upon children: “Giận
chồng mắng con”.
Thus, it is seen that the quantities of units of idiom and proverb reflecting positive and
negative behavior in conjugal relationship are quite similar (48 units compared with 49
units). In which, positive behavior praised firstly and the most is wife’s sacrifice to husband
(17 units) and harmony, faithful behavior to each other. Regarding to negative behavior,
mutual traitorousness without affection and gratitude reflected in 16 units is criticized firstly,
followed by unreasonable and immoderate behavior leading to disagreement in family.
Generally, in Vietnamese family, faithfulness and harmony is first behavior of both husband
and wife to ensure a happy family. Particularly, to Vietnamese women, sacrifice to husband
becomes a noble quality honored by society.
Content of husband’s behavior to wife occupies the quantity of 14 units while the content of
wife’s behavior to husband gains overwhelming number of 59 units with 34 units referring
to positive, praiseworthy behavior and 25 units mentioning negative, reprehensible one.
Obviously, the content of woman’s behavior to her husband is more abundant and paid
attention on many respects. This results from patriarchal regime, in which, women always
are putted within judgment, demands of their husbands, husband's families and society.
Positive behavior of wife to husband is reflected more than negative one, with the most
behavior manner of loving, looking after and sacrifice to husband. This contrasts to the most
primary behavior of husband to his wife being browbeating and oppressing. Additionally,


awareness of being faithful to wife is not mentioned in man’s behavior while this is referred
to in woman’s behavior through 9 units of proverbs. One more time, a Vietnamese familial
feature with patriarchy, polygamy and strict demand on woman’s chastity is focused.
However, on other respect, wife has ability of regulating contradictions in the family
through skillful and wise behavior manner based on husband’s situations. This is a way to
create a balance in conjugal relationship, to protect family happiness with the role enhanced
of women. Disparagement to husband and flirtation are the most reprehensible behaviors of
women because they are contrary to moral standards that patriarchal society set for them.

But, overall, the most outstanding behavior of Vietnamese women is love, sacrifice and
faithfulness to her husband.
2.3.2. Relationship between parents and their children
2.3.2.1.
The role of parents towards their children
Parents play an extremely important role towards their children. Parents give birth and raise
children; they and their life affect children profoundly. Not only impacting on the formation
of children’s personality, but familial tradition, education and parents’ behavior also
contribute to create mercy and good future or adverse consequences called karma or
retribution in Buddhist language for next generations. Parents are the ideal people for
children to rely.
2.3.2.2.
The role of children towards their parents
Children are considered as an essential part of marriage, especially for women. To them who
own motherhood, children are indispensable, even having children or not is a factor defining
their happiness or unhappiness. Children are people who parents rely on and count on,
especially at the old age. Children are greatest assets of the parent; however, children are
also parents' burden.
Therefore, through surveying and finding out 115 units of idiom and proverb reflecting this
content, we see that parents – children relationship is mainly affirmed as strong attachment
by profound love (reflected in 16 units, occupying 14%). In which, the role of parents
towards their children is giving birth, raising and providing advantage conditions for
children’s development (39 units, occupying 34%) and having negative or positive impact
on their children by their quality, morality and behavior (35 units, occupying 31%). Children
are both people for parents to rely on and burden for them, depending on children’s quality
and morality. But, it can be affirmed that children are the greatest achievement of parents,
being considered more than property and as one of the factors determining marriage
happiness, especially for women.
2.3.2.3.
Behavior in relationship between parents – children

Not regarding to families with stepparents and stepchildren, we can see that in normal
Vietnamese families, the relationship between parents and children includes the relationship
between parents – offspring and the one between parents – daughters in law, sons in law.
Firstly: Behavior in the relationship between parents and offspring
Overall, this relationship reflected is good with most of positive and praiseworthy behavior.
However, negative behavior exists and we specify as follows:

Positive behavior
a/ Behavior of loving and sacrificing to each other
The quantity of units of idiom and proverb reflecting love and sacrifice of parents to their
offspring is over six time more than the one expressing the same content but in the opposite
direction (offspring to their parents) (51 units compared with 8 units). Additionally, parents’
love and sacrifice to offspring is showed on more diversified aspects. For parents, in any
case, they still give their offspring unconditional love, never harm children: “ Con vua tốt
vua dấu, con tôi xấu tôi yêu”; “Chém con đằng sống, không ai chém con đằng lưỡi”. They
also permanently expect the good for their children: “Cha muốn cho con hay, thầy muốn cho
trò khá”, always worrying about them in all circumstances: “Con tài lo láo lo kiêu, con ngu


thì lại lo sao kịp người”. There are 14 units of proverb representing that parents give
children’s life their care, sacrifice and best things: Ex. “Chăm như chăm con mọn”; “Chỗ
ướt mẹ nằm, ráo xê con lại”.
Children also give love and sacrifice to parents, though in terms of this behavior, the parents
give children more by many times. Children never belittles poor parents but considering
parents’ poverty as a part of their life: “Con chẳng chê bố mẹ khó, chó chẳng chê chủ
nghèo”. They always have a sense of pampering and taking care of parents at old age: “Phụ
mẫu còn bất khả viễn du”. Children make concessions, shoulder all hardship even debt for
father: “Cha gánh lon, con gánh vại”; “Phụ trái tử hoàn”.
b/ Behavior of education of parents towards children
In behavior of parents towards children, the folk specially pay attention to reflect particular

parents’ education towards their children. They are aware of that without education; every
children will be at risk of depravity: “Cha mẹ trơng đi con dại, cha mẹ trơng lại thì con
khơn”.
Folk emphasizes that it is necessary to carry out education towards children right from their
young age: “Dạy con từ thuở còn sơ, dạy vợ từ thuở ban sơ mới về”.
A way of education supported by the folk is using the rod; which is reflected in 5 proverbs:
Ex. “Bảo không nghe vọt tre vào đít”. There is only one unit of proverb referring to
educating children by using insult: “Càng chửi càng rủa càng đỏ hây hây, nâng như nâng
trứng chết rầy chết mai”. Overall, these ways of education are relatively strict without
pampering. According to the folk, in order to educate children into good people, using the
rod or insult is an expression of love to them.
c/ Children’s behavior of respect and gratefulness towards parents
The first attitude of children towards their parents reflected by folk is always respect and
gratefulness. Children should have the same respect towards both mother and father without
discrimination or one-sidedness: “Bên cha cũng kính, bên mẹ cũng rái”; “Cha cũng kính, mẹ
cũng vái”. However, if only in terms of the effort of nurturing, children assess the mother is
more exhausting than father: “Cha sinh không bằng mẹ dưỡng”, so, mother is at the first
position. Respecting parents, children will inevitably obey them, even in marriage related to
a happy life: “Cha mẹ đặt đâu con ngồi đấy”. To son, with the appearance of his wife,
conflicts may occur in family, but no matter what he does not remove from his parents or
treat them without filial impiety: “Bình phong cẩn ốc xà cừ, vợ hư rẫy vợ đừng từ mẹ cha”.
To show appreciation for parents' merits of giving birth and nurturing, each child is aware of
his duty and behavior that he should implement such as giving his regards to parents in Tet
vacation: “Mồng một Tết cha, mồng ba tết thầy”; doing worship and celebrating dead
anniversary when parents pass away:“Con giàu một bó, con khó một nén”.

Negative behavior
Each object has different negative behavior to the other one, so we will clarify the negative
behavior of parents towards their children and vice versa as follows:
a/ Negative behavior of parents towards their children

Overall, the number of units of idiom and proverb reflecting negative behavior is much less
than the one expressing praiseworthy behavior of parents towards children. We record a
number of negative expressions as follows:
Parents oppress children or treat them unequally (6 units): “Con mần bể cái thống í ống cả
làng, mẹ mần bể cái ang cả làng vắng vẻ”; “Yêu con đỏ, bỏ con đen”. The folk criticize the
one who is selfish and struggling or doing cruel actions: “Được mối hàng mẹ chẳng nhường
con”; “Mẹ cơm chả con lả bụng”; “Chó cái trốn con”. Sometimes, that absolute love for
children causes negative and blind behavior:“Con cậu cậu nuôi thầy cho, cháu cậu cậu bắt
chăn bị chăn trâu”; “Có cha bẻ đùi gà cho con”.
b/ Negative behavior of children towards their parents
There are 6 units of proverb reflecting that children do not respect but destroying
achievements, contrasting to the wishes and orientation of their parents: “Cha bòn con phá”;


“Cha làm thầy, con bán sách”. Besides, the folk also condemned the behavior of abusing
parents to bleed for personal benefit: “Con gái là cái bòn” (daughters getting married come
back to her parents' home to beg and bleed); “Muốn cho gần mẹ gần cha, khi vào thúng thóc,
khi ra quan tiền” or behavior without respect towards parents: “Cha trở ra trở vào, con ngồi
cao gọi với”.
In summary, it is easily seen that the number of units of idiom and proverb mentioning
behavior of children towards parents is much less (about under a half) than the one
mentioning behavior of parents towards children (37 units compared with 97 ones). The
quantity of units reflecting positive behavior of parents towards their children is about three
times more than the one reflecting negative behavior (80 units compared with 17 ones),
while the number of units showing positive and negative behavior of children towards
parents is approximately equal (16 units compared with 21 ones), excepting there are 4 units
confirming that children never treat parents as well as their parents do towards them. This
shows that according to the folk, major, even indispensable psychology and behavior of
parents towards their children is loving and sacrificing. But, they are relatively passive
because children's behavior depends on quality, consciousness and the specific

circumstances of each individual. Thus, we can understand that parents have a great
influence on children but cannot decide their personality or quality; on the contrary,
sometimes they are able to be at risk when having children with unexpected behavior. In
educating children, Vietnamese people consider hiding love to use the rod is an effective
way of teaching children. This seems to be opposite to current education theory, but in
proverb, it is not rejected but sometimes supported. In our opinion, the folk indicate that
both mother and father have to share responsibility for educating their children or children’s
degeneration instead of placing responsibility on only mother as some documents said.
Secondly: Behavior in the relationship between parents – daughters in law, sons in law
Surveying linguistic data, we found that the number of units of idiom and proverb reflecting
positive behavior in this relationship is much less than the one reflecting the negative
behavior (4 units compared with 33 ones).
Overall, the main behavior in this relationship is negative, which shows that the relationship
between parents and daughters-in-law, sons-in-law is not good, containing many
contradictions, frictions and mutual contempt.
Especially, it is constant conflict between mother and daughters-in-law being outstanding
and reflecting in 26 units. Regarding to content, the negativity of this relationship is quite
serious, even reaching popularity and not being able to be harmonized. Mother and
daughter-in-law do not like each other, mutually, often disparaging, speaking ill, even
treating with affected attitude (7 units): Ex. “Mẹ chồng khơng ai nói tốt nàng dâu, nàng dâu
đâu có nói tốt mẹ chồng”. Daughters-in-law are disrespectful or misbehave towards
mothers-in-law instead of taking care of them (7 units): Ex. “Mẹ chồng nói một, nàng dâu
đối mười”… In contrast, mothers-in-law treat their daughters-in-law with estrangement,
scrutiny and oppression (5 units): Ex. “Trời mưa ướt lá đài bi, con mẹ, mẹ xót thương gì con
dâu”. Son-in-law treats his wife's family with cold attitude, even despising her parents (5
units): “Bố vợ là vớ quai chèo, mẹ vợ là bèo trôi sơng”; “Buồn tênh cháu rể khóc đưa bà,
một tiếng khóc là ba tiếng à”…
2.3.3. Relationship among brothers and sisters
Not including families with the appearance of brothers and sisters being stepchildren, in
general Vietnamese family, we need to mention these particular relationships among:

siblings; sisters-in-law, husband’s siblings and wife, brothers-in-law; cousins.
2.3.3.1.
Relationship among siblings
a/ Positive behavior
The folk praises behavior of harmony (7 units): Ex. “Anh em như thể tay chân,anh em hòa
thuận hai thân vui vầy”;sense of solidarity, mutual assistance (8 units): Ex. “Cành dưới đỡ


cành trên”; loving each other and no matter what not harm mutually (5 units): “Anh em
chém nhau bằng sống, ai chém nhau bằng lưỡi”.
b/ Negative behavior
However, the sibling relationship is not always good, so negative behavior occurs when
conflicts or self-interest arise.
Expressions in this relationship mainly focus on behavior without affection and gratitude,
attention to each other. To specify, it is behavior of appreciating money rather than siblings,
of struggling, harming mutually (10 units). In particular, there are three units of proverb
reflecting this negative behavior with significantly critical attitude: “Cốt nhục tương tàn”;
“Đồng tiền liền với, anh em vứt ra ngoài”. Contrary to the spirit of protection, assistance and
help each other, it is mutual indifference, alienation, even sarcasm in difficulties (7 units):
“Áo rách thì để thịt ra, chị gần khơng hỏi, em xa không chào”; “Ngỡ rằng chị ngã em nâng,
ai hay chị ngã em bưng miệng cười”. Sometimes, it is bullying or impeding: “Chị em nắm
nem ba đồng, muốn ăn thì trả sáu đồng mà ăn”.
In behavior among siblings, the folk also confirm that harmony is the key to maintain blood
relationship and family order. Regarding to responsibility for younger siblings,
responsibility of male older siblings being able to replace father is inclined to reason, while
the one of female older siblings is inclined to emotion, protecting and cosseting the younger.
However, brothers are still respected more than sisters, which one more time confirms
Vietnamese families are patriarchal. In terms of negative behavior between siblings, the
most remarkable expression is the domination and distortion of material towards this close
relationship. Because of the purely material benefits, the economic competition or money,

siblings can mutually mistreat without affection and gratitude. Thus, the power of money in
close relationships, a wrong side of the market economy in present days was also showed in
folk literature.
2.3.3.2.
Relationships among sisters-in-law; between husband’s siblings and wife;
among brothers-in-law
In general, these relationships are considered to be not only attached but always
disharmonious and not fine, which is reflected in 9 units: “Chị em dâu nấu đầu trâu lủng
nồi”; “Chị em chồng nấu nồi đồng đứt quai”; “Anh em rể như ghế ba chân”… In which, the
subjects have negative behavior to each other. The main behavior between husband’s
siblings and his wife reflected in three proverbs is speaking ill of each other, cruel and
unequal treatment such as: Ex. “Em chồng ở với chị dâu, coi chừng kẻo nó giết nhau có
ngày”. Behavior among sisters-in-law is mainly lack of trust, mutual precaution (5 units)
such as: Ex. “Chị em dâu nói trâu thành bị”. Behavior among brothers-in-law is reflected
primarily with conflict, clashes or violence (6 units): Ex. “Đánh nhau vỡ đầu là anh em rể”.
2.3.4. Behavior in relative relationships (with uncles and aunts)
The main behavior in this relationship is positive, in particular it is salvation, caring of these
people towards their nephews or nieces in disadvantage situations or in the loss of father or
mother (11units): “Có cha nhờ cha, không cha nhờ chú”; “Mồ côi cha níu chân chú, mồ cơi
mẹ tríu vú dì”… The negative behavior such as having no regard or disrespect come from
nephews or nieces towards uncles or aunts when friction occurs: Ex. “Chú chửi cha tơi, tơi
tha gì chú”; “Chú đánh cha tơi, tơi tha gì chú”.
Proverbs also reflects the funeral rites for aunts’ husbands, uncles’ wives: “Chồng cơ, vợ
cậu, chồng dì, trong ba người ấy chết thì khơng tang”; or the relationship with the wife of
father’s younger brother is closer than one with the wife of mother’s younger brother: “Cậu
chết mợ ra người dưng, chú tơi có chết thím đừng lấy ai”. Clearly, in the thought of the
Vietnamese people, paternal side is always considered more important than maternal side.
Sub-conclusion
Through surveying sources of data, it can be seen than the folk spend the most attention to
reflection, advice, recommendations of the behavior between parents - offspring, then the

one between wife - her husband, among siblings and other behaviors. Additionally, the
number of units of idiom and proverb referring to positive behavior is more than the one
referring to negative behavior. This shows that Vietnamese people attach much importance
to nuclear family and enhancing the role of building family with peace and harmony. The
behavior in family is firstly praised and highly appreciated is harmony, love and helping
each other among members.
Another noticeable point is that Vietnamese people attach great importance to the hierarchy,
so the behavior among members corresponds to their position and rank in the family.
Therefore, the behavior of making concessions and mutual respecting is enhanced in every
Vietnamese familial relationship.
In addition to this, the patriarchal property, conception of valuing men above women,
paternal side above maternal side are expressed quite clearly in behavior of Vietnamese
families. In particular in conjugal relationship, a part in the relationship of male siblings
compared with the one of female siblings or in kinship relationship.
Those behaviors appreciated by the folk have become national morality, the good patterns of
behavior built in idiom and proverb. Accordingly, the negative behavior is the expressions
without affection and gratitude such as conflict, jealousy, fighting or hurting each other ….
In terms of 351 units of idiom and proverb with the content of Vietnamese familial behavior
collected, there are 180 units (occupying 51%), in which the folk raised lessons, advice,
behavioral standards that everyone need to direct. This is appropriate to features of idiom
and proverb, especially of proverb with the main content of summarizing experiences into
general educational lessons or giving behavioral patterns for people to follow or avoid in
life. Characteristics of warning and making orientation are clearly reflected in these units of
idiom and proverb. Therefore, in present social context, their role of education makes
proverb and idiom reflecting Vietnamese familial behavior essential for many readers to
read and ponder.
CHAPTER 3: VIETNAMESE BEHAVIOR IN SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
THROUGH IDIOMS AND PROVERBS

3.1. Overview of social relationships
Through surveying linguistic data, we found that in Vietnamese idioms and proverbs, there
are two groups of basic social relationships reflected. They are:
The first: Equal relationships, including: Relationship among friends; Relationship among
neighbors; Relationship between male – female; Relationship among individuals in society
The second: Unequal relationships, including: Relationship between teachers and students;
Relationship between courtiers and civilians; Relationship between employers and
employees; Relationship with old people and children
3.2. Vietnamese behavior in equal relationships
3.2.1. Behavior in relationships among friends
According to the folk, company relationship inevitably exists in people’s lives,
because individuals who want to survive must have fellows, friends, to not be alone.
After confirming the important role of friends in contributing to mutual success, creating an
environment of cooperation, healthy competition and developing together, the folk raise
behavior that people should or should not do in company relationship.
First of all, the most important thing reflected is choosing friends, besides how individual
should behave to have friends.
To preserve friendship, everyone has to behave with faithfulness, affection and
gratitude (3 units): “Anh em kết bạn, sống không rời, chết không rời”. In contrast to this, it
is artificial, unfaithful and dishonest behavior (5 units): “Bạn bè vuốt ve cây nứa”; “Giàu đổi
bạn, sang đổi vợ”.
Loyalty is precious in company relationship; thus, one of other behavior is praised by the
folk is keeping prestige among friends: “Bằng hữu chỉ ư tín”. On the one hand, confirming
belief is essential to build friendships, on the other hand, the folk advise people not to trust


friends excessively: “Tin bợm mất bò, tin bạn mất vợ”. This can be considered as a balanced
and moderate behavior of Vietnamese people.
3.2.2. Behavior in the relationship among neighbors
First of all, for the Vietnamese people, neighbors have more important position or role than

distant relatives. Ex. “Bà con ở xa không bằng lân la láng giềng”.
Regarding the behavior of Vietnamese in this relationship reflected in 13
units of proverb, we find particular behavior as follows:
First of all, the folk encourage the close, friendly attitude and sense of fostering neighbor
relations in an active: “Bán anh em xa, mua láng giềng gần”; however, they also give advice
to choose neighbors: “Ở chọn láng giềng”. Once having neighbors, then the first behavior
praised by the folk is expression of affection and gratitude described through in a few
specific points: helping neighbors: “Thầy dở cũng đỡ láng giềng”; not harming neighbors close living environment of individuals in any case: “Cáo già khơng ăn gà hàng xóm” being
in mourning neighbors for three days: “Chị em ba tháng, láng giềng ba ngày”. Thus, even in
mourning aspect, position of neighbors is enhanced compared with some relatives.
On the contrary to above behavior is the one of mistreatment or dishonesty
towards neighbors. It is the coldness indifference to neighbors’ catastrophe: “Cháy nhà hàng
xóm bình chân như vại”; selfish attitude, taking advantage to personal gain: “Cơm ăn chẳng
hết thì treo, việc làm chẳng hết thì kêu láng giềng”; doing no good for neighbors: “Gà béo
thì bán bên Ngơ, gà khơ thì bán láng giềng” causing friction with insinuation: “Mắng con
dạy láng giềng”.
Despite being close, familiar with neighbors, each of Vietnamese families is sense of
keeping their independence and relative separation from them. Specifically, with the internal
friction, Vietnamese people do not want the care or intervention of neighbors: “Chuồng phân
nhà chẳng để cho gà người bới” or not paying attention to, even it is indifferent or isolated
attitude: “Đèn nhà ai, nhà ấy rạng”.
3.2.3. Behavior in the relationship between male and female
Generally, in male and female relationship, we find the standing out of female’s passive and
strict behavioral demand of social towards them.
In finding partner to go to marriage, males have almost absolutely active role, even,
according to folklore, women are always subjects to their seduction, courtship (5 units):
“Cây suông ba nhánh cũng suông, gái khôn trai dỗ trăm đường cũng xiêu”. Because the
initiative is for men, so the active behavior of women in this case is considered paradoxical
and ironic: “Trâu chẳng tìm cọc, cọc lại tìm trâu”.
The folk also mention aspect of women’s activeness in this relationship but it is activeness

expressed through prevention, alertness to the men’s behavior: “Chớ nghe quân tử nói khơn,
mà rồi có lúc ẵm con một mình”. After all, as reflection of the folk, it is women who suffer
loss and disadvantages of excess behavior between men and women: “Con gái chửa hoang
các vàng không lấy”. Traditional society has great despite towards phenomenon of
pregnancy before marriage, especially directing sarcasm and contempt towards women
instead of towards men. In this case, society places blame and responsibility almost for
women, which reinforces male chauvinism and injustice treatment of the society to women
in this relationship.
In the love of couple, the folk also reflect a few different behavioral aspects. First of all,
Regarding to praiseworthy behavior, outstandingly, it is discreet and subtle behavior with
emotional moderation of both sexes (7 units): “Yêu sau lưng, không yêu trước mặt”; “Nam
nữ thụ thụ bất thân” …; love comes with the noble behavior, devotion to each other,
sometimes being pushed to extreme (10 units): “Yêu nhau mấy núi cũng trèo, mấy sông
cũng lội, mấy đèo cũng qua”; …. Faithfulness is a fine behavior of men and women in love
(3 units): Ex. “Chỉ non thề biển”.


Praising serious, steady and faithful attitude in this relationships, the folk acts condemn
faithless people running after money and forgetting affection and gratitude: “Tham ván bán
thuyền” or indecent and flirtatious behavior (4 units): “Bắt cá hai tay”; “Sớm mận tối đào”…
Obviously, when being not in marital status, behavior expressing seriousness, decentness
and faithfulness is promote popularly in the relationship between males and females. Only
regarding to loving relation, there is relatively equality between males and females; the folk
fairly share requirements of delicateness, decentness and faithfulness for both sexes.
3.2.4.Relationship among individuals in society
Survey linguistic data, we found that the number of units of idiom and proverb reflecting
behavior among general people in society is very great (834 units divided into many diverse
topics, with plentiful different aspects). Firstly, We classify the specific behavior including
positive and praiseworthy behavior; negative and reprehensible behavior; behavior without
attitude of compliment or criticism as follows (figures in parentheses are the numbers of

idiom and proverb units of each respective topic):
a/ Positive and praiseworthy behavior
1/ Empathy, sharing and helping each other (33): Ex. “Nhường cơm sẻ áo”.
2/ Relying and balancing each other (4): Ex. “Cây đa cậy thần, thần cậy cây đa”
3/ Behavior with skillfulness, consideration to avoid hurting others (27): Ex. “Lời nói chẳng
mất tiền mua, lựa lời mà nói cho vừa lịng nhau”; “Báng đầu thằng trọc phải nể lịng ơng
sư”.
4/ Behavior of making concessions, softening and harmony (16): Ex. “Dĩ hòa vi quý”.
5/ Loving human, no matter what not harming them (23): Ex. “Ái nhơn như kỉ”
6/ Gentleness, honesty (18): Ex. “Ăn hiền ở hành”; “Có nói có, khơng nói khơng”.
7/ Physical and mental reciprocity (33): Ex. “Ăn cơm trả gạo, ăn cháo trả tiền”
8/ Faithful living with full of affection and gratitude (19): Ex. “Ăn ở như bát nước đầy”
9/ Consciousness of gratitude and repaying one’s favor (24): Ex. “Đền ơn trả nghĩa”
10/ Appreciating benevolence and righteousness more than money (12): Ex. “Vật khinh tình
trọng”;“Đừng tham lợi nhỏ mà bỏ nghĩa nhớn”.
11/ Modesty and have both feet on the ground (16): Ex. “Quý mình đừng khinh người”
12/ Moderate and reasonable behavior (21): Ex. “Một vừa hai phải”; “Ăn cây côi, thơi cây
dưới”.
13/ Generosity and tolerance (23): Ex. “Chín bỏ làm mười”; “Chật nhà nhưng không chật
bụng”.
14/ Definitiveness, coherence, clearness (9): Ex. “Ăn thì cho bn thì so”, “Cưa đứt đục
suốt”.
15/ Behavior based on order and hierarchy (3): Ex. “Có kẻ dưới người trên”.
16/ Evaluating or judging straightforwardly and fairly based on the reason (15): Ex. “Xấu
bảo là xấu, tốt bảo là tốt”.
17/ Behavior of quiet-seeking, avoiding competition actively, not knocking strong people or
involving in depressing situations (15). Ex.“Chịu dại chịu thua, đừng đua với giải”
18/ Self-respecting (6). Ex: “Ăn có mời làm có khiến”; “Có thì ăn, khơng có đấm bụng mà
chịu”.
19/ Wise behavior with thorough consideration, precautions (11): Ex. “Ăn có nhai, nói có

nghĩ”.
b/ Negative and reprehensible behavior
1/ Contempt, discrimination together despite of being in the same circumstances (3): Ex.
“Cùng bạn ăn mày, mắng nhau đầy chiếu”.
2/ Helping by halves, irresponsibility (2): Ex. “Đem con bỏ chợ”.
3/ Crude, clumsy and indelicate behavior without respect for anyone (16): Ex. “Vuốt mặt
khơng nể mũi”; “Nói đối trả như chém chả vào mặt”.
4/ Not compromising, not yielding (14): Ex. “Bầu leo thì dây bí cũng leo”
5/ Behavior of insinuating (11). Ex: “Chửi bóng chửi gió”; “Nói cạnh nói khóe”.


6/ Aggression, making friction and animosity (7): Ex. “Hàng thịt nguýt hàng cá”.
7/ Cruel, inhuman behavior (16): Ex. “Coi mạng người như ngóe”; “Tre lướt cị đỗ”.
8/ Taking over, oppressing others (10): Ex. “Cá lớn nuốt cá bé”; “Ma cũ bắt nạt ma mới”.
9/ Behavior of calumniating (5): Ex. “Ngậm máu phun người”; “Gắp lửa bỏ bàn tay”.
10/ Appreciating poverty more than human (4): Ex. “Của trọng hơn người”.
11/ Dishonest and affected behavior (47): Ex. “Miệng bồ tát, dạ ớt ngâm”.
12/ Faithless, treacherous behavior (19): Ex. “Lật lọng như trở bàn tay”; “Ném đá giấu tay”.
13/ Taking advantage of others for profit (14): Ex. “Thấy bở thì đào, thấy mềm thì đục”.
14/ Flattering, bending for benefit (8): Ex. “Ơm chân nấp bóng”; “Vào luồn ra cúi”.
15/ Behavior without reciprocity, calculating for benefit (10): Ex. “Ăn quả vả, trả quả sung”.
16/ Treachery and ingratitude (56): Ex. “Ăn cháo đái bát”; “Chưa khỏi vịng đã cong đi”.
17/ Come together for the money, not for affection and gratitude (14): Ex. “Giàu người hợp,
khó người tan”; “Tiền tài tận, nhân nghĩa vong”.
18/ Forgetting righteousness for benefit; appreciating money more than affection and
gratitude (5): Ex. “Nhân nghĩa gì bằng nhân nghĩa tiền”; “Kiến lợi vong ngãi”.
19/ Contempt for others, not having both feet on the ground (32): Ex. “Mục hạ vô nhân”.
20/ Immoderate and unreasonable behavior (10): Ex. “Được đằng chân lân đằng đầu”.
21/ Selfish, narrow-minded behavior (18): Ex. “Chẳng được ăn thì đẩy bè ra sông”
22/ Greed and plundering others’ something (4): Ex. “Ăn cơm hết phần chó”.

23/ Ambiguous and unclear behavior (3): Ex. “Vơ đũa cả nắm”; “Hòa cả làng”.
24/ Arbitrary behavior without consideration of order (5): Ex. “Cá mè một lứa, cá đối bằng
đầu”.
25/ Exaggerating, partial and subjective evaluating (21): Ex. “Không ưa đổ thừa cho xấu”.
26/ Imitating or aping others ridiculously (18): Ex. “Màn treo lưới rách cũng treo”.
27/ Behavior of finding fault or picking to pieces (15): Ex. “Chẳng ưa thì dưa có dịi”.
28/ Disparaging and pointing the bad mutually (11): Ex. “Lươn ngắn lại chê chạch dài”.
29/ Envying and hating each other (4): Ex. “Trâu buộc ghét trâu ăn”.
30/ Tale bearing and gossiping (2): Vd. “Ăn cơm nhà nọ kháo cà nhà kia”.
31/ Malicious behavior (13):
- Destroying one’s love (4): Ex. “Chia uyên rẽ thúy”.
- Inciting others to do bad things (4): Ex. “Lưỡi vị độc q đi ong, xui người tan hợp, rứt
lòng nghĩa nhân”.
- Destroying one’s work (5): Ex. “Thọc gậy bánh xe”.
32/ Counting on power to be imperious to despise others (12): “Có tiền nó xiên lên mặt”
c/ The behavior without particular praising or criticizing attitude of the folk
1/ Self-knowing, not interfering or comparing with others (34): Ex. “Ai đầy nồi ấy”.
2/ Excessive respecting results in dependence (10): Ex. “Ăn xôi chùa ngọng miệng”.
3/ Respecting this one results in respecting the related one (6): Ex. “Vị thần phải nể cây đa”
4/ Flexible behavior depending on the objects and circumstances (31): Ex. “Đi với Bụt mặc
áo cà sa, đi với ma mặc áo giấy”; “Lịch sự thì chơi cho liền, vơ dun thì chơi một bận”.
We found that the amount of topics of negative behavior mentioned is greater than the one
of positive behavior (32 topics compared with 19 topics); the number of units of idiom and
proverb reflecting negative behavior is larger than the one reflecting positive behavior (430
units compared with 323 ones). In general, the folk obviously expressed praising and
criticizing attitude towards the behavior reflected, there are only 4 topics with 81 units of
idiom and proverb in which evaluation attitude of the folk is not particular:
Positive
Negative
Without implication of particular attitude of the folk

The quantity of behaviors
19
32
4
The quantity of units of idiom and proverb reflecting behaviors
323
430
81
This means that the topic of behavior described, named and enclosed implication of
criticizing, disparaging is more abundant and variety than the one mentioned and enclosed
implication of praising or complimenting.


Considering these positive topics in more general way, we can generalize them into four
topics of Vietnam behavior reflected with positive attitude as follows: Loving human /
Behaving with physical and mental reciprocity / Behaving skillfully and moderately /
Appreciating honesty and harmony, resulting in quiet-seeking attitude. Through four general
Topics above, we can see that Vietnamese people specially attach great importance to
affection and gratitude in behavior among people in society. In each topic, the general
behavior of affection and gratitude is expressed in different aspects but overall, it is love,
harmony, moderation in behavior, and a sense of gratitude and repaying one’s favor.
Although love, empathy, sharing (merely emotionally) towards human are behaviors praised
the first, Vietnamese people always direct fairness in the behavior expressed through
moderation and reciprocity (inclining to reason). Obviously, Vietnamese people propose and
support behaviors of affection and gratitude but according to spirit of moderation,
reasonableness without making absolute. Additionally, with psychology of quiet-seeking
and maximum avoiding friction, nuisance, Vietnamese people always advocate defense,
even making concessions, compromises to protect themselves.
Similarly, we can generalize that Vietnamese people prefer to reflect behaviors of
ingratitude, harming or hurting people and moderation with evaluation attitude of criticizing

and disparaging. This is quite logical and compatible to the preferable positive behavior
reflected by Vietnamese as analysis above.
It is behavior of self-knowing, not interfering or comparing with others (34) and flexible
behavior depending on the objects and circumstances (31) which occupy a quite
concentrated number of idiom and proverb units mentioning behavior. We consider they are
behaviors that the folk propose but we do not see particularly or clearly in which the attitude
of praising or criticizing. With the behavior of self-knowing, not interfering or comparing
with others, on the one hand, Vietnamese people show their opinions of independent living,
affirming ego and being not influenced by other individuals; on the other hand, they express
psychology of indifference regardless of people or things around, and uncompetitive spirit or
desire for progress, instead of self-satisfaction of themselves. Besides, Vietnamese people
seem to understand very clearly and have sense of the diversity and liveliness of human life,
so they always admit all difference to adapt. Idiom and proverb refer much to changes of
circumstances, humans, since then advising people not to uptight a principle instead of
behaving based on particular situations and particular time.
3.3. Vietnamese behavior in unequal relationships
3.3.1. Behavior between teachers and students
For Vietnamese people, affection and gratitude between teachers and students is the most
important thing in this relationship. The quantity of units of idiom and proverb reflecting
teachers’ behavior towards students is very modest compared with the one reflecting
opposite behavior (2 units compared with 11 ones). This shows that the folk mainly
emphasis on students’ obligation to respect, to be grateful and civil towards teachers. People
thinking and behaving like that is considered students with affection and gratitude while,
people contrasting with this national morality is disloyal and reprehensible.

3.3.2. Behavior in the relationship between courtiers and civilians
a/ Behavior of courtiers towards civilians
Surveying data, we found that there are 25 units of idiom and proverb reflecting behavior of
courtiers towards civilians, in which negative behavior occurs in 22 units, occupying mostly
overwhelming number compared with the number of units reflecting positive behavior (only

3 units).
The most popular behavior of courtiers towards civilians is counting on their power to
harass, exploit civilian population for personal benefit (9 units): Ex. “Đi đến đâu chết trâu
đến đấy”. Courtiers have behavior violating law and human morality seriously (7 units):


using money to trade office and title “Mua danh bán tước”; enforcing law is also based on
the money: “Có tiền thì nới cùm, khơng tiền thì niêm chặt”, or based on personal
relationship: “Con thím xã đánh nhả cơm ra, con ông bà thì tha không đánh”… The folk
exposed their faithless and unreliable nature through the units of idiom and proverb
reflecting the arbitrary or devious behavior regardless of right and wrong such as: “Miệng
quan trôn trẻ”…
Besides negative and critical behavior of mandarins reflected, there are still committed and
diligence behavior of courtiers with morality mentioned in only 3 units: “Ăn tại phủ, ngủ tại
công đường”; “Thăm nghèo hỏi khổ”; “Tiên ưu hậu lạc”. This shows that the folk have no
partial or one-sided view of mandarins; they do not entirely despise all the ruling system
instead of still recognizing and praising good individuals.
b/ Behavior of civilians towards courtiers
The main behavior of civilians towards courtiers is despising and criticizing, simultaneously,
this is the attitude expressed with the most number of units of idiom and proverb (12 units).
In the folk’s eyes, portraits of courtiers representing for ruling class are distorted and
slovenly from appearance to human digni: “Ban ngày quan lớn như thần, ban đêm quan lớn
tần mần như ma”… The folk continue to protest and fighting back courtiers with behavior of
indifference, coldness and insubordination or active seeking ways to delay or avoid the
official affairs (6 units): “Quan cần dân trễ”; “Quan cần mà dân chẳng vội”; “Quan vội, quan
lội quan đi”… We can see clearly the psychology of ignoring or avoiding the ruling class of
Vietnamese people. They ensconce into familial and personal life, not caring about politics
or mandarinate to direct a regular, quiet and safe life, to avoid involvement in the law and
official affairs. However, the folk still give equal assessments to courtiers with certain
respect (3 units): “Khơn nên quan, gan nên giàu”; “Quan có dạng, tướng có hình”; “Vua

quan cũng trọng, đức bà cũng u”.
It can be seen that the relationship between the courtiers and civilians is the relationship with
contradictions of both social status and economic interests. Behavior of these two subjects
towards each other is quite correlative: while behavior of courtiers towards civilians is
harassing, exploiting and oppressing, the one of the latter to the former is satirizing,
despising and resenting. However, the Vietnamese do not struggle to resolve the conflict by
specific actions; the protests are mainly expressed through indifferent attitude, avoiding or
finding ways to not be involved in official affairs. The most powerful attitude is only
straight indicating the nature of robberies of courtiers, in addition to not giving any other
particular form of fierce struggle. It can be said that Vietnamese people recognize social
injustice as well as evil face of courtiers but they response them by the trend of avoiding, not
caring to self-protect instead of trying to purify society by finding out the ways to
exterminate that injustice and evil. However, it is easy to see that Vietnamese people
consider courtiers quite equally, in both positive and negative side to express suitable
attitude of respect or contempt. This is behavior of moderation and compassion.
3.3.3. Behavior in the relationship between employers and employees
Employers and employees are in opposition on economy and social position. The folk claim
that: “Mẹ chồng nàng dâu, chủ nhà người ở yêu nhau bao giờ”, it means that in this
relationship, there is not harmony, love instead of distance. Regarding the behavior of
employers towards employees, we found that there are two degrees and to ways of behavior.
First of all, employers mistreat, oppress and exploit employees’ labor: Ex.“Cơm đã tới mồm
giật không cho ăn”. In this case, employees were taken advantage, exploited labor, even
treated cruelly and inhumanly. The conflict lies not only in terms of economic rights, but
also in the perspective of morality and sentiment. According to the folk, the kindness of
employees is only fairly behavior in paying: Ex. “Con ruột thì thương bằng roi, con ở con
địi thì áo với cơm”.
In terms of behavior of employees towards employers, firstly, it is awareness
of responsibility and reciprocity (3 units): “Bớt đồng thì bớt cù lao, bớt ăn bớt uống thì tao

bớt làm”; “Tốt đồng thì tốt cù lao”. In which, the factor of reciprocity is raised firstly in
behavior of them. However, affection and gratitude still referred to in this relationship is
expressed through unfaithful and reprehensible behavior: “Cha bỏ con, đầy tớ bỏ thầy”;
“Chim nhớ cây, tớ quên thầy”; “Thay thầy đổi chủ”. But, this problem is set for employees
towards employers without opposite trend. Thus, it is seen that in sense of poor labor, the
relationship between them and employers is not absolute fair with reciprocity but it contains
gratitude. Loyalty, gratitude is also seen as a duty for all employees towards their hosts. To
enjoy comfortable atmosphere with the hosts, employees should behave flexibly and
skillfully: “Khi ăn tùy chủ, khi ngủ tùy con”.
3.3.4. Behavior in the relationship with old people and children
There are very few units of idiom and proverb mentioning Vietnamese behavior with old
people and children. As our finding, there are only 12 units with this content pretty clearly
reflected, in which the general behavior is expressed in this idiom: “Kính già, yêu trẻ”; “Trẻ
nên tha, già nên thương”. Towards both old people and children, general attitude of
Vietnamese people is completely believing (3 units): “Đi hỏi già, về nhà hỏi trẻ” (The old
people and children are trustworthy.) Children are always in treasure and care (4 units): Ex.
“Trẻ nhà người như trẻ nhà ta”…
Towards the old people, Vietnamese people always show respecting and appreciating
attitude (5 units): Ex. “Kính già già để tuổi cho”… Besides, skillfulness and carefulness in
each word is necessary in treatment to old people: “Dưỡng lão khất ngôn”. However, there is
also behavior of young people towards the old ones considered not good or opposite to
tradition and morality. It is when the young people are arrogant instead of being modest to
learn more: “Trứng khôn hơn vịt”; “Trứng khôn hơn rận”.
Vietnamese people respect age and sometimes high or low rank is created by age. Therefore,
appreciating the old people is considered a fine tradition of Vietnamese.
Sub-conclusion
It can be seen that social relationships reflected are very variety and complicated, including
equal and unequal ones. However, the number of units of idiom and proverb reflecting
behavior in particular relationships such as: the one among friends, among neighbors;
between male and female; between employers and employees; between courtiers and

civilians is much less than the one referring to behavior among individuals in general in
society (only approximately one fourth). In all these particular relationships, Vietnamese
people continue to praise behavioral way of affection and gratitude, to direct to moderation
in behavior: moderation in recognition, assessments, as well as in personal treatment to the
others.
Specially, with 834 units of idiom and proverb reflecting behavior among individuals in
Vietnamese society, after dividing them into groups, we found that: occupying the most
quantity is group of idiom and proverb reflecting negative behavior with 32 topics including
430 units, followed by the one of positive behavior with 19 topics including 323 units. The
one without assessment attitude of the folk occupies modest number with only 4 topics,
including 81 units. Vietnamese people mainly praise behavior of affection and gratitude,
harmony and moderation, directing to fairness and reciprocity in behavior of individuals.
Accordingly, they prefer to criticize behavior of ungratefulness, hurting people and
immoderation. Addition to this, they propose personal behavior with psychology of quietseeking, hesitating to face conflict and with flexibility.
CONCLUSION
Idiom and proverb are linguistic products as well as means of communication which are the
most social compared with other means of language. This results from that it contains itself
many traditional elements and it is used very flexibly (as both a linguistic unit and a verbal
unit according to understanding of Saussure). Especially, in process of formation and
development, as a general rule, language also reflects cultural factors, the thinking of certain


communities. Particularly, with Vietnamese people, the lessons and behavioral experiences
in life were summarized and reflected in these elements of folk literature which is
popularized by oral method. Researching familial and social behavior expressed through
idioms and proverbs contributes to learn more about national culture, lifestyle and thinking.
In this thesis, we acquire theory of close relationship between language and culture, in
particular aspect, it is understood that language contains cultural spirit of certain community.
In addition to this, it is theory of the role of idiom and proverb in preserving the folk
knowledge and experiences including behavioral lessons and experiences. Basing on those

general theories, we surveyed Vietnamese idioms and proverbs with the content referring to
behavior in family and society from reliable linguistic data and achieve some results as
follows:
1.
Surveying sources of linguistic data, we found that, in familial behavior, the folk
paid the most attention to behavior between parents and children (160 units, with 129 units
reflecting the one between parents and offspring), followed by the one between husband and
wife (97 units) and other behaviors. In general, the quantity of idioms and proverb showing
positive behavior is more than the one showing negative behavior. Behavior between parents
and daughters-in-law, sons-in-law; among sisters-in-law; brothers-in-law; between
husband’s siblings and his wife; among relatives is not reflected much. In which, the main
behavior among relatives is mutual loving, attaching and relying. On the contrary, in
behavior between family and daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, it is constant conflict between
mothers and daughters-in-law, negative behavior among brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law,
between husbands’ siblings and his wife which stand out. This shows that Vietnamese
people prematurely appreciate relationship in nuclear family and promote the role of
building harmonious and cozy nuclear family with the main behavior of loving, harmony
and mutual responsibility.
2.
The quantity of units of idiom and proverb reflecting Vietnamese behavior in social
relationships we selected in the third chapter is 1081 units; in which, the number of units
referring to behavior in particular relationships is much less than the one mentioning
behavior among individuals in general (247 units compared with 834 ones). This one more
time affirms generalization of idiom and proverb as well as the diversity, complexity of
innumerable relationships in society in which idiom and proverb are unable to absolutely
reflect all behaviors. Regarding to equal and unequal relationships, in particular, the
behavior between teachers and students; among friends; between courtiers and civilians;
between employers and employees;… are only basic, popular and relatively particular
behaviors. Additionally, there are still behavioral principles among individuals in society
without setting in any clear relationship.

3.
In this thesis, we selected 1432 units of idiom and proverb, in which there are 351
units (24,5 %) with the content of Vietnamese behavior in familial relationships and 1081
units (75,5%) with the one in social relationships. Therefore, it is seen that although family
scale is much smaller than society scale but social relationships are many times more
abundant and complicated than familial one, Vietnamese people still used not little number
of idioms and proverbs (more than one fourth) referring to behavior in familial relationships.
Obviously, to Vietnamese people, family plays a very important role for each individual;
building behaviors according to social norms from each family is extremely concerned by
them. And despite of being within family or society, Vietnamese people also appreciate
above all the behaviors of affection and gratitude, loving human and harmony.
4.
Also of 1432 units of idiom and proverb reflecting Vietnamese behavior we
surveyed, we recognize that there is a not little part of them (444 units corresponding 31%)
does not purpose to directly describe behavior. In which, particularly, with the content of
Vietnamese behavior in familial relationships, the quantity of units in this part reaches 51%.
In these units, the folk conveyed comments or assessments towards behavior or raised
lessons, advice or behavioral standards people need to direct rather than describing stating


particular behaviors. This is suitable for the feature of idiom and proverb, especially of
proverb which is summarizing experiences into educational lessons as well as raising
behavioral patterns for people to imitate or to avoid in life. Properties of education, warning
and making orientations are showed clearly in these units of idiom and proverb.
In summary, after selecting and surveying 1432 units of idiom and proverb with the content
reflecting Vietnamese behavior, we divided them into familial relationships (including 3
basic relationships: the one between wife – husband; parents – children and among brothers
and sisters) and social relationships (including equal relationships: the one among friends,
neighbors, individuals in society, between male – female and unequal one: the one between
teachers –students; employers – employees; the one with old people and kids). In each

particular relationship, we tried to clarify Vietnamese awareness and assessments about it,
possible methods to maintain and develop it as well as the folk’s attitude of praising and
complimenting towards behavior reflected in those relationships. Since then, we found out
Vietnamese characteristics of traditional behavior in each certain relationship as presenting
above and the one in all relationships. To specify, it is behavior of affection and gratitude,
moderation, loving human and appreciating harmony.
In a community or a society, behavior is always a problem people concern about. With the
same phenomenon or fact, each person, each ethnic group or each nation has distinctive way
of behavior. Therefore, behavior is human and national problem as well as a kind of art.
Way of behavior reflects cultural level, features of ethnic groups and era. In this thesis, we
research Vietnamese behavior through the resource of idiom and proverb – preservers of
folk knowledge, experiences and folklore. Thus, it can be considered that they are preservers
of traditional behavior of Vietnamese people. In our opinion, these are fine behaviors that
should be promoted in this time to contribute to building of better familial and social
relationships which is based on spirit of peace, loving human and mutual helping to develop.
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