Tải bản đầy đủ (.pdf) (88 trang)

The 100 day promise sandi amorim

Bạn đang xem bản rút gọn của tài liệu. Xem và tải ngay bản đầy đủ của tài liệu tại đây (3.27 MB, 88 trang )




The100DayPromise


AGuideToChangingFromTheInsideOut

bySandiAmorim



Copyright
KindlePublishingPackage
Copyright©SandiAmorim,2015
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without
permissioninwritingfromtheauthor.Reviewersmayquotebriefpassagesinreviews.
ISBN:978-1-942646-29-7
DISCLAIMER
Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,
mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information
storageandretrievalsystem,ortransmittedbyemailwithoutpermissioninwritingfrom
theauthor.
Neithertheauthornorthepublisherassumesanyresponsibilityforerrors,omissions,or
contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slight of any
individualororganizationispurelyunintentional.
Anyresemblance,withinthisbook,torealpersonslivingordeadispurelycoincidental
apartfrommyownstoriesthataretruetotheauthor.
CoverDesign:JohnMatthews
Editing:GraceKerina
Author’sphotocourtesyofDonEppPhotography.





Dedication
FormyMom,whotaughtmetoreadataveryyoungageandinstilledinmealoveof
learningthathasfuelledmysoulandgottenmethroughmanyoflife’sadventures.
Andforyouandyourrelentlessspirit,foreverytimeyoutriedtochangeandfailed,and
foreverytimeyoupickedyourselfuptotryagain–thankyou.
“We’realljustwalkingeachotherhome.”
–RamDass



TableofContents
Introduction
Chapter1:HowChangeWorks
TheMythOfOvernightSuccess
TheCycleOfChange
TheStagesOfChange
WhenYouKnowBetter,YouDoBetter
Chapter2:TheHero’sJourney
StagesOfTheHero’sJourney
StartWhereYouAre
EXERCISE1:CreatingAnOutcome
EXERCISE2:ReclaimingYourDream
Chapter3:ShiftingBeliefsandFuellingtheFuture
WhereDoBeliefsComeFrom?
WhyDoYouBelieveWhatYouBelieve?
UnravelingALimitingBelief
EXERCISE:GettingClearOnWhatYouWant

WhatFuelsYou?
EXERCISE:WriteYourselfaLoveLetter
Chapter4:ValuesandCoreDesiredFeelings
EXERCISE:ValuesAlignment
ModalOperators(WhatMotivatesYou?)
HowDoYouWanttoFeel?
TheDesireMap
EXERCISE:FeelYourWay
ChapterFive:TheCycleofRebirthandForgiveness
EXERCISE:Pause.Notice.Awaken.Act.
AreYouReadyToForgive?
EXERCISE:KarmaClearing
LoveOrFear


ChapterSixThePowerofRitual
TypesOfRitual
HowDoRitualsWork?
EXERCISE:CreatingYourRitual
CreatingAVisualAnchor
EXERCISE:CreatingYourVisualAnchor
Chapter7:AcknowledgingTheJourney
EXERCISE:ClaimYourTreasures
ChangingYourMind
MindorBrain–WhichChangesFirst?
EXERCISE:TakingInTheGood
Chapter8:CelebrationAndCompletion
EXERCISE:OneHundredDayReflection
Chapter9:ThePitfallsofChange
TrapsandPitfalls

TheTimeTrap
AdditionalPitfalls
EXERCISE:TheStopDoingList
InterruptingOldPatterns
EXERCISE:CheckingInOnYourValues
Conclusion:FinalThoughtsonChange
SaveYourBrain
YouAreWhatYouThink
Practice,Practice,Practice
YouAlwaysHaveaChoice
WillpowerIsNotTheOnlySolution
PlanForObstacles
SETYourselfUpToDoWell
Celebrate!
FuturePromises
Sources
Acknowledgements


AboutTheAuthor
AboutDifferencePress
OtherBooksbyDifferencePress
The100DayPromiseResources



Introduction
TheideaforThe100DayPromisecametomewhenIrealizedIwashavingthesame
conversation over and over again with clients and people going through my online
programs.Manyofthemwerediscouragedbecause,inspiteofastrongdesiretochange,

they weren’t able to create the kind of change that lasts over time. After spending a
considerableamountoftime,money,andenergy,naturallytheywerefrustrated–mostly
withthemselves,butalsowiththeself-helpworld,whichmakeschangesoundsoeasy.I
wondered,ifourgoodintentionsweren’tenough,whatwasmissing?Whatwasneededto
changewithgreatereaseandeffectiveness?
Iwasinspiredbymyclients,butquicklyrealizedIneededthisinformationformyself.
Likethem–andyouaswell,Iassume,oryouwouldn’tbereadingthis–Ihadissuesin
mylifethat,nomatterhowhardItried,justwouldn’tchangebeyondtheinitialphaseof
motivation. So I began studying the process of change, and out of that I developed an
online program, the 100 Day Promise. The program is designed to guide you over the
courseofonehundreddaystocreateapromisebasedonachangeyouwantinyourlife,
andtodevelopyourcapacitytofollowthroughwithdailyactionstobringthatpromiseto
life–notonlybringittolife,i.e.makeitliveinreality,butbringitintoyourlife,withall
thespecificitythatcallsfor.
Thatfirsthundreddayprogramgavemeareal-lifeglimpseofwhathappenswhenwe
trytochange.Isawwherepeoplestopthemselves,aswellashowresilienttheyarewhen
theyhavetherightkindofsupport.IuncoveredmyownpersonalblocksasIwentthrough
theprogramwiththem,andIcreateddailypracticestokeepmyselfontrackthatworked
betterthanmanythingsI’dtriedinthepast–andIwashearingsimilarresultsfrommy
clients.
“Gobeyondknowing…toknowhow.”
–Dr.JoeDispenza
In creating and making my way through the program, I discovered an obvious and
glaringtruth:whenitcomestochange,knowingisn’tenough.Havingstudiedandworked
inthefieldofhumanpotentialforclosetotwentyyears,Iknowfirsthandthatknowledge
makesverylittledifferenceinhoweffectiveyou’llbewhenyoumakeanewcommitment.
Like my clients, maybe you’ve wondered what was wrong with you that you couldn’t
keepapromisetoyourself.Trustme,I’vebeenthere,too.
Whatmighthappenifwelearnedhowtokeepapromisetoourselveslikewekeepa
promisetoagoodfriend?

Askingmyselfthisquestionwasthedefiningmomentthatledmedownarabbithole
thatincludedneuroscience,habitdevelopment,thecycleofchange,thelawofattraction,
andpositivepsychology.LikeAlice,Iconsumedwhatcamemyway,readingvoraciously
intopicsrangingfromsciencetowoo-woo.IexpandedwiththeamountofknowledgeI
devoured,andshrankinthosemomentswhenIdoubtedthewholeproject.Intheend,the


moreIlearned,themoreIwantedtoknowandthemoreIdiscoveredaboutchange.
WhenIbeganlearningaboutchange,Iwasirritatedbyhowmuchfocuswasgivento
thebeliefthatitonlytakestwenty-onedaystochangeorcreateahabit.Iknewitwasnot
thatsimpleandmyangerintensifiedwitheveryblogpostandbookIreadthatpromoted
thisoutdatedinformation.
WhatI’vediscoveredisthatchange–generallyspeaking–takesmuchlonger.
ResearchfromtheEuropeanJournalofSocialPsychologysuggeststhatalthoughthe
averagelengthofsuccessinformingahabitissixty-sixdays,itcanvaryfromeighteento
twohundredandfifty-fourdays.Butgoonlineortoyourfavouritebookstore’sself-help
sectionandyou’llseehowprevalentthisconceptstillis.Thistwenty-onedaymythhas
becomeaclichéthatcoachesandself-helpprofessionalsrepeattoooftenandtoolightly.
It’slazyanduninformed,andhelpsnoone.
WhenIbegantestingideaswithmyclients,Ipaidattentiontowhatworkedandwhat
helpedthemdeveloppersonalpracticeswithgreatereaseandefficacy.Sustainablechange
was what we were after, and I knew I was onto something. Yes, change can and does
happeninaninstant,butmorecommonlyittakeslongerthantwenty-onedays,andlonger
stilldependingonthedifficultyofthedesiredchange.Forexample,creatingadailyhabit
ofdrinkingmorewaterismorelikelytotakeholdwithintwenty-onedaysthanincreasing
yourself-esteemorconfidence,whichcouldtakealotlongerduetosubconsciouslimiting
beliefs.Alwaysrunninginthebackground,suchbeliefshavemoreimpactthananything
else when it comes to what makes up your identity, but they also keep you from being
yourbestselfandchangingsuccessfully.
Theprocessofchangetakestime.It’sapracticeandittakeswork.It’snotrandomand

it’s certainly not rocket science. (Side note: I once met an actual rocket scientist from
NASAandsherolledhereyeswheneveranyoneusedthisphrase.)
Another aspect of the online program I saw making a big difference was the
combination of doing the work in a supportive community and sharing a public
declarationwithinthatsafespace.Asyoumayhaveexperienced,itcanbeeasiertokeepa
promise to someone else than to yourself. Making a promise and declaring it in a
committed,supportivecommunityispowerful.Itmaymakeyoufeelvulnerable,butitcan
alsobethesourceofgreatersuccess,andevenfreedom.
One hundred days is a long time for committing to a change, and I’ve seriously
questionedthetimespan.Mostofmyworkisdoneonline,andit’stherethatyou’llfindall
kindsofchallenges–twenty-one,thirty,andoccasionallysixtydaysforchangingahabit–
butletmemaketwothingsclear:1)The100DayPromiseisnotachallenge,and2)it’s
not a quick fix. After running the program multiple times and using it with clients on a
one-to-one basis, I’ve found it to be long enough to get people past the discomfort that
usually accompanies change. The hundred day timeframe creates a container in which
satisfactioncandevelopastheyseetheirdesiredchangetakinghold.
Onehundreddaysisalsolongenoughthatyou’llprobablybetemptedtobreakyour
promise and quit, but sticking with it will change your life. Once you’ve had the
experience of change being possible in one area, you may find yourself using the skills
you’vedevelopedintheprograminotherareasofyourlife.Thisiswhathaspeoplereturn


togothroughthehundreddayprogrammultipletimes.
Whatwillyouhaveattheendofonehundreddays?Yougettodecide.Forsome,it’sa
newhabitorpracticeinlife.Forothers,it’sreleasinganoldhabitorfear.WhatI’veseen
most consistently is that the timespan of one hundred days develops the capacity to
eliminatewhat’snotworkingwhileprovidingaspaceinwhichtoactuallyembracewhat’s
mostwanted.ThebestpartisthatThe100DayPromisegivesyoustrategiesyoucanuse
overandoveragain.Personalgrowthneverends,andthere’snofinishlinewhenitcomes
to happiness and satisfaction in life. This program is also a journey. It’s a structure that

goesdeeperwitheachpromiseyoumake,andthiswillhaveaprofoundimpactonwho
youknowyourselftobe.
Whenyoutakepartintheonlineprogram,yougetweeklymodulesanddailyprompts
to support you throughout the hundred days. In this book, I offer a view of the entire
journeyandincludeexercisesandresourcesthatcanbeappliedtoanyareaoflifeyou’d
like to change. I suggest you read the book through once, then decide how you want to
proceedandusethebookasaguide.
Ifyou’rereadytocreatechangeinawaythatwillmakearealdifferencetoyourlife,
I’d love to support you in the next 100 Day Promise online program. You can find out
morehere:onehundreddaypromise.com



Chapter1:
HowChangeWorks
“Whenpeoplearereadyto,theychange.Youcan’tmakethemchangeiftheydon’twant
to,justlikewhentheydowantto,youcan’tstopthem.”
–AndyWarhol
Changecanbechallenging,frustrating,andsometimesimpossible,butweallwantto
changesomethingaboutourselves,don’twe?It’sokay.Youcantellthetruth.Evenafter
years of personal development and coaching, I’ve still got a list of things I’d like to
change in my life. I know this is true for you or you wouldn’t be here reading this and
longingforsomethingelseinyourlife.Youhaven’tgivenuponwhatyouwant,andthat’s
whyIlovedoingthiswork.
I’m not going to lie – one hundred days is a very long time, and you may want to quit
many times before you get to the end. The first thing I want you to understand about
changeisthatthisisnormal.Peoplequitonthemselvesallthetime…untiltheydon’t.

TheMythOfOvernightSuccess
“Youraudaciouslifegoalsarefabulous.We’reproudofyouforhavingthem.Butit’s

possiblethatthosegoalsaredesignedtodistractyoufromthethingthat’sreally
frighteningyou–theshiftindailyhabitsthatwouldmeanare–inventionofhowyousee
yourself.”
–SethGodin
Areyoureadyforareinvention?Transformationsandovernightsuccessesarecommon
in the online world. We see them all the time, and it’s easy to feel a bit jaded by the
promotionalhype.Weliveinaworldofover-promising,andit’shadanegativeimpacton
our confidence and ability to follow through on our good intentions. But the process of
changedoesn’tusuallygothewaytheysayitwillandwedon’toftenhearaboutthepath
thatledtothetransformation.Wealmostneverhearabouttheeffortinvolvedtoreachthe
successes;onlytheresults,andifyou’vetriedandfailedinpreviousattemptstochange,
thisonlyservestotriggerjudgmentandself-recrimination.
“Intentionsareaformofdesire.Desireperseisnottherootofsuffering;cravingis.”
–RickHanson,Ph.D.
Whenyoumakeapromisetoyourself,italwayscomesfromadesiretochange,and
there’s nothing wrong with that. Change is what most of us want, but we deny that we
wantit,asthoughweshouldbemoreacceptingofwhatisandnotsofocusedonwhatwe
want. This denial sets in motion a craving for what we’re denying ourselves; if you’ve


evertriedtoloseweightorchangeyoureatinghabits,youknowhowbrutalcravingscan
be.
Howdowegetthere–toourdesiredchange–fromhere,thefeelingofdissatisfaction
andlonging?
I’manavidreaderwholoveswordsandtheirmeanings,soIbeganmyresearchabout
changebylookinguptheetymologyofthetwowordsthatwouldn’tleavemealoneasI
researched:promiseandchange.
promise
c.14thcentury,MedievalLatin:apledgeorvow;literally,tosendforthintothefuture
“Promisesaretheuniquelyhumanwayoforderingthefuture,makingitpredictableand

reliabletotheextentthatthisishumanlypossible.”
–HannahArendt
change
c.early13thcentury,OldFrench:tomakesomethingdifferentfromwhatitis
“Everysinglethingchangesandischangingalwaysinthisworld.”
–Saigyo
The100DayPromiseisaboutcreatingandsendingapledge–yourpromise–intothe
future. When I first understood this for myself, I felt the truth of it in my body. Here’s
another truth: The problem isn’t that you want change; the problem is that you judge
yourselfharshlywhenyoufailtochangethewayyouwant.Ifyoudon’tgetthatsenseof
instant gratification promised by clever marketing, judgement kicks in and you create a
viciouscyclethatimpactsanyfutureattempttochange–andtheregoesanychanceyou
haveofsuccessfullychanging.Somuchforkeepingapromisetoyourself.
“Thingsdonotchange;wechange.”
–HenryDavidThoreau
Whenwereallywanttomakeachange,butfeeldefeatedbeforewebegin,isitpossible
toreachourdesiredgoal?Isitpossibletochangewhenwedon’tunderstandhowchange
reallyworks?Myclientswereaskingthesequestions,soIdecidedtofindtheanswers–
forthemandformyself.

TheCycleOfChange
“Toexististochange,tochangeistomature,tomatureistogooncreatingoneself
endlessly.”
–HenriBergson
Understanding the cycle of change is the most challenging part of the hundred day
process. In order for you to succeed at your promise, you first have to understand how
change works. That’s what I’ll be sharing with you in this chapter. Though accepting it


maybechallenging,thisisvitalinformationyouneedinordertochangesuccessfully.

Oneofmygreatestfrustrationsasacoachiswatchingpeoplebeatthemselvesupfor
failing to keep their word. Understanding why we fail at change is as important as our
desiretochangeinthefirstplace.Otherwise,thecycleoffailurecontinues.
Youknowhowyou’regoodatkeepingapromisetoyourbestfriend,butyou’llblow
off a promise to yourself? Understanding the cycle of change can help you narrow this
frustratinggapandleadyoutodiscoverthatputtingyourselffirstisanactofself-lovethat
impactsandfuelseverythingelseinyourlife.
Some days, especially as you begin your hundred day commitment, you may feel
uncomfortable and want to quit. In this program, you’ll learn how to stay with your
discomfort,andyou’llrealizethatthemoreyoustaywithit,themoreyoudiscoverabout
whatyouneedtomovethroughit.
We assume that change requires a dramatic shift. We’re led to believe that if we’re
giventherightkindoftraining,information,oreducation,thenchangewillbequickand
effective.Therealityformanyofusisthatourattemptsatchangefailonourfirstattempts
–andevenonmultipleattempts–andinsteadoflookingforwhatwasmissingaboutthe
process,welookinwardandfindfaultwithourselves.
InChangingforGood,Dr.JamesProchaskadiscovered(afterworkingwiththousands
of patients) that there are natural steps we go through when attempting to change.
Knowingaboutthosestepsisagoodplacetobegin.
Thischapteristhemostacademicpartofthebook,butstaywithme.Getthroughthis
partsoyouunderstandwhyyouhaven’tsucceededinthepastand,moreimportantly,you
understandhowtosucceedinthefuture.Nomatterwhatareaoflifeyoufocuson,yougo
throughthesestageseverytimeyoudecidethere’ssomethingyouwanttochange.

TheStagesOfChange
1.Pre-contemplation
You’re not even thinking about changing. You may even be defensive about your
behaviour.(You’rereadingthisbook,soyou’realreadypastthisstep.)
2.Contemplation
Youadmitthere’saproblemandyouthinkaboutovercomingit.

3.Preparation
You’ve decided to change. You plan to take action. You may even feel inspired and
motivated.
4.Action
You’reenergizedandcommittedtochangingyourbehaviour.
5.Maintenance


Yourecognizethatyouneedtoputinongoingefforttomaintainthechange.Itseems
like a lot of work, but you know it’s worth it, and you’ve even begun to feel proud of
yourself.
6.Relapse(Recycling)
You“re-cycle”byreturningtothecontemplationorpreparationstagetoprepareonce
againforaction.Youmaywanttodeepenthechangeorbeginanewcyclewithanother
promise.
It’s safe to say that because you’re reading this book you’re probably already in the
preparationstage,andmaybeevenreadyforaction.

WhenYouKnowBetter,YouDoBetter
Belowareafewmorethingstoknowaboutchangethatwillhelpyoudobetterduring
your hundred days. Though they’re not commandments or rules, when you act as if
they’retrue,yourviewoftheworldwilllikelychangedramatically.
Changeusuallycomesoutofdissatisfaction,butismoreeffectivewhenyoulinkittoa
desire.
Themoreawarenessyouhave,themorechoiceyouhaveabouthowyou’llchange.
Changeoccursinstagesasaprocess,unlessatraumaoccursinyourlife.
Focus more on what you want to move toward than on what you want to change or
moveawayfrom.
Youalreadyhavethecapacitytochange;it’sanevolved,built-inpartofbeinghuman.
Backwardslipsaremoretherulethantheexception.

Youwillbeabletoapplywhatyoulearnwithonechangetoanyotherdesiredchange.
Inotherwords,you’vegotwhatittakestochange.
Youmayneedsupportandresources,andinformationaboutthechangeprocessmaybe
helpful, but you instinctively know how to change. I’m sure of this because you’ve
alreadychangedmanytimesbeforeinyourlife.Thisisgoodnews,right?
Inthenextchapter,I’llshowyouwhatthepathofchangelookslike.It’snotalways
pretty, but knowing what lies ahead can save you time and energy and prepare you for
makingachangethatlasts.



Chapter2:
TheHero’sJourney
The hero’s journey is a pattern identified by Joseph Campbell that appears in drama,
storytelling, myth, religious ritual, and psychological development. Every journey,
whetherit’samonth-longpilgrimagewalkingtheCaminoinSpain,aweekendroadtrip
withafriend,oraninnerjourneywhileonsilentretreat,comeswithitsownchallengeand
adventure.ThinkofFrodoinLordoftheRings,RagnarLothbrokinVikings,orDaenerys
Targaryen in Game of Thrones. Each of those characters travels the path of the hero’s
journey.
IloveJosephCampbell’swisdom,andhavefoundthehero’sjourneytobeauniversal
themethatcanapplytoanythinginlife.I’veuseditasatoolthroughoutthehundredday
processasakindofroadmap,onewe’llrevisitinlaterchapters.
The hero’s journey is a metaphor that can help you personalise your journey. In the
online100DayPromise,it’seasytoseepeoplegoingthroughthevariousstagesbecause
we’re all working on our promises together. When you begin your hundred day
commitment, you can use the hero’s journey as a map to see where you are. That
knowledgewillhelpyoumoveforward.
You can find elements of the hero’s journey everywhere you look, not only in fairy
tales,soapoperas,anddramaticmovies,butinyourownlife.ThequotesIshareinthis

chapter are all from Joseph Campbell, and if you’re like me, you’ll find they can be
appliedtoanycircumstanceorchallengeyoumightbefacingasyoumovethroughyour
ownhero’sjourney.
The big thing I want you to know about using the hero’s journey in the process of
changeisthis:Youareboththeauthorandtheheroofyourstory.Youarenotatthemercy
of your circumstances, unless you choose to be, and that’s hard for a lot of people to
accept. As horrible or challenging as your circumstances might seem in the moment, I
promiseyouthatthere’salwaysachoiceandawayout.Decidingthatthisistrueisthe
key.
“Ifyoucanseeyourpathlaidoutinfrontofyoustepbystep,youknowit’snotyour
path.Yourownpathyoumakewitheverystepyoutake.That’swhyit’syourpath.”
Youknowhowyousometimeslooktoothersforasolution?Thetruthisthattochange
effectively,you’llneedtomakeyourownpath,writeyourownstory.Weallhavetimesin
ourliveswhenweresistthis,whenwechoosetogiveupourpowerbylettingsomeone
elsewriteandtellourstory.Ifyoudothat,youmissthefactthatthestoriesyouwriteand
tellyourselfcreateyourlife.Youalreadyknowthis(Ithinkwealldo),butyoumayhave
avoidedacceptingthislevelofresponsibilityforyourlife.
TheintentionofThe100DayPromiseistoofferavarietyofresourcesandstrategiesto
helpyoukeepyourpromisetoyourselfasyoutravelalongyourownhero’sjourney.It’s


youwhochooseswhichresourcesandstrategiestouse,andyouwhousesthemtocreate
practicesthatsupportyourpromise.Thejourneyisanexperimentinchange.It’satimeto
trynewthings,tolookatwhatworksandwhatdoesn’t,andtoadapt.There’snorightway
todothis–there’sonlythewaythatworksforyou–andthiscanbebothfrustratinganda
greatsenseofrelief.
Sometimesyou’lldiscovereffectivepracticesbyaccident.I’velearnedthatwalkingmy
dogalongtheriveristhefastestwaytoplugmyselfintothekindofenergyandstateof
mindIneedtostartmyday.IleavemyphoneandallitsdistractionsathomeandIsimply
walkthedog.Somedaysit’sawalkingmeditation,othertimesIchant,talktomydog,or

sitonabenchandmeditate.Ifollowtheenergyandtrustwhatfeelsgoodandrightforme
inthemoment.
Youhavetodiscoveryourownstrategies.Youhavetofindyourownpath.Yourpath
mayincludefamiliarelements–activitieslikewalkingthedog,journaling,ormeditating
–oritmayturnouttoincludeelementsthatarecompletelydifferentanduniquetoyou.
Maybe you need more physical movement or creative activity. Maybe you need to not
checkyouremailfirstthinginthemorning.(I’mstillworkingonthisone!)Thepointisto
findwhatworksforyou,andthentoworkitconsistently.
“Ifthepathbeforeyouisclear,you’reprobablyonsomeoneelse’s.”

StagesOfTheHero’sJourney
We’veallheardthecallto“followyourbliss.”That’swhatIwantyoutofocusonin
thesehundreddays.Everythingelseisdistraction.Isharethestagesofthehero’sjourney
becausesooftenwethinkajourneyisasimplepathfrompointAtopointB,butit’srarely
that straightforward. Knowing there will be bumps in the road and planning ahead for
themisoneofthebestthingsyoucandoforyourselfonthepathofchange.Following
yourblissishowyounavigatepastthebumps.
BeforeIknewaboutthestagesofthehero’sjourney,Istruggledalotmorewhenthings
didn’tgomyway.Iremembermyfirstyearinbusiness,self-employedasacoach.Iwas
brimmingwithenergyandenthusiasm.Iwasgoingtolaunchmybusinessandchangethe
world overnight! By the end of the first month, I realized that being a successful coach
wasn’t only about following the call. Every month that first year, I rode an emotional
rollercoasterandmyconfidencetookabeatingfromallthesurprisesIencounteredonthe
path of business-building. It took everything in me not to give up and go back to my
stable, but soul-sucking job. Now that I understand the hero’s journey, I can see how
usefulitwouldhavebeentoknowthepitfallsaheadoftime.
What follows is a brief outline of the phases of the hero’s journey, adapted from
Christopher Vogler’s book A Practical Guide to Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a
ThousandFaces.
The hero’s journey describes the typical adventure of the archetype known as The

Hero, the person who goes out and achieves great deeds. In our hundred days together,
TheHeroisyou,andhereisthepathyou’llbetaking:


1.TheOrdinaryWorld(Innocence):Theheroisuneasy,uncomfortable,orunaware
ofthesituationordilemma.
Foryou,maybethismanifestsasadesiretomoveawayfromthepainordiscomfortof
yourcurrentcircumstances.Almostcertainly,youfeelsomekindoftensionpullingyouin
adifferentdirectionandcausingstress.
2. The Call to Adventure: Something shakes up the situation, either from external
pressuresorfromsomethinginside,deepwithin,sotheheromustfacethebeginningsof
change.
“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your
adventure.”
Brian Johnson, author of A Philosopher’s Notes, playfully calls this your phone call
from God. This is what had you say yes to The 100 Day Promise. You listened to an
internalcall,andyousaid,“Yes,please.I’mready.”
3.RefusaloftheCall(Initiation):Theherofeelsthefearoftheunknownandtriesto
turnawayfromtheadventure,howeverbriefly.
Don’t we all know this place? We’ve said yes, but soon enough we begin to feel
resistance.Wequestionoursanityandmaybeginhidingorsabotagingourselves.Relax,
andknowthatthistoo,ispartofthejourney.Theonlythingyouhavetodohereiskeep
goingandgettherightkindofsupporttokeepyouontrack.
4.MeetingwiththeMentor:Theherocomesacrossaseasonedtraveleroftheworld
whogiveshimorhertraining,equipment,oradvicethatwillhelponthejourney.Thehero
alsoreacheswithintoasourceofcourageandwisdom.
I’velearnedfromexperiencethatmentorsaresimplyonthepathaheadofus.Usethem
as a resource, but don’t put them on a pedestal. One of my favourite sayings is the
Japaneseproverb,“None of us is as smart as all of us.” This concept is evident in my
onlineprogram,wherepeopleshareinsightsandlearningsaswellasresources.

Forme,havingthesupportofamentor,mywritingcoachandpublisherAngelaLauria,
hasmadeallthedifferenceinwritingthisbook.
5.CrossingtheThreshold(ThePit):Theherocommitstoleavingtheordinaryworld
andenteringanewregionorconditionwithunfamiliarrulesandvalues.
Thisiswhereitcangetscary,becauseitmightfeellikeyou’reinanewland.You’ve
committedandyou’renowmovingforwardonyourpromise.Atthispoint,youmightalso
think,“WhatthehellhaveIdone?”
“Ifyoudofollowyourbliss,youputyourselfonakindoftrackthathasbeenthereall
thewhilewaitingforyou,andthelifeyououghttobelivingistheoneyouareliving.”
6.Tests,Allies,andEnemies:Theheroistestedandsortsoutallegiancesinthenew
world.
“Theblackmomentisthemomentwhentherealmessageoftransformationisgoingto
come.Atthedarkestmomentcomesthelight.”
Oneofthethingsaboutchangethatwedon’tnecessarilytalkaboutisthattheremaybe


people in your life who don’t want you to change. They like the status quo and want
things–andyou–tostaythesame.Otherpeoplemaybecomeyourstrongestallies.This
partofthejourneyislearningtotellonefromtheother.
7. Approach: The hero and newfound allies prepare for the major challenge of the
journey.
Prepareisthekeyword.Areyouactuallypreparedinsuchawaythatyouwillmakeit
to the end of one hundred days? Do you have what you need physically, mentally, and
emotionally?
8.TheOrdeal:Nearthemiddleofthestory,theheroconfrontsdeathorfaceshisor
hergreatestfear.Outofthatmomentofdeathcomesanewlife.
Youhavetogiveupwhat’ssafeandknownandcomfortable,forit’sthoseverythings
thatkeepyoufromfulfillingyourpromise.It’seasytogiveintothefamiliar,butyouhave
toshedyouroldskin.Inotherwords,youhavetogiveupyourcurrentidentity.Thenew
futurethatyou’recreatingdependsuponyoudoingthis.It’sessential,thoughrarelyeasy.

“Wemustbewillingtogetridofthelifewe’veplanned,soastohavethelifethatis
waitingforus.Theoldskinhastobeshedbeforethenewonecancome.”
9. The Reward (Breakthrough): The hero takes possession of the treasure won by
facingdeath.
Theremaybecelebration,butthereisalsodanger,asyou’renothomefreeyet.This
stageisaboutnoticingwhenandwhereyoubecomecockyandmaybeabitarrogantabout
yourprogress.
This is my weakest point on the hero’s journey. I start to think I’ve got it handled, I
easeoffmycommitment,andthenithappens–Islipbackwards,judgemyself,andthen
havetodealwithmydisappointment.
“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you
stumble,thereliesyourtreasure.”
10. The Road Back: About three-quarters of the way through the story, the hero is
driventocompletetheadventureandreturnhomewiththetreasure.
This too may be a challenge, as you’ve grown accustomed to being on the journey.
Howwillyoudealwithyourreturn?Doyoumaketimetocelebrate?Doyouacknowledge
theworkyou’veputinordoyouimmediatelymoveontothenextthing?
11.TheResurrection:Attheclimaxofthestory,theheroisseverelytestedoncemore,
onthethresholdofcominghome.Usually,thistestcomesintheformofafinalsacrifice,
anothermomentofdeathandrebirth,butonahigherandmorecompletelevel.
This is the point at which you notice that the tension you began the journey with is
finallyresolvedandyouadoptthisstance:“Whateverthehellhappens,I’llsay,‘Thisis
whatIneed.’”
12. Return with the Elixir (Celebration): The hero returns home (or continues the
journey)bearingatreasurethathasthepowertotransformtheworldastheherohasbeen
transformed.


Tài liệu bạn tìm kiếm đã sẵn sàng tải về

Tải bản đầy đủ ngay
×