the noevel kilo

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Title:KILOTitle:BeingtheLoveStoryofEliph’HewlittBookAgent
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TYPIST:LindaPKemper-Holzman

KILOBeingtheLoveStoryofEliph’HewlittBookAgent
ByEllisParkerButler

CONTENTSI.Eliph’HewlittII.SusanIII.“HowtoWintheAffections”IV.
KiloV.SammyMillsVI.TheCastawayVII.TheColonelVIII.TheMediumsizedBoxIX.TheWitnessX.TheBossGrafterXI.TheFalseGodsofDoc
WeaverXII.GettingAcquaintedXIII.“Second:aSmallPresentXIV.Something
TurnsUpXV.DifficultiesXVI.TwoLovers,andaThirdXVII.Accordingto
Jarby’sXVIII.AnotherTrialXIX.PapBriggs’HenFood

KILO


CHAPTERIEliph’Hewlitt
Eliph’Hewlitt,bookagent,seatedinhisweather-beatentopbuggy,drovehis
horse,Irontail,carefullyalongtheroughIowahillroadthatleadsfromJefferson
toClarence.TheHorse,arustygray,totteredinaloose-jointedmannerfromside
tosideoftheroad,halfasleepinthesun,andwasindolentineverymuscleof
hisbody,excepthistail,whichthrashedviolentlyattheflies.Eliph’Hewlitt

drovewithhishandsheldhigh,almostonalevelwithhissandywhiskers,forhe
waswellacquaintedwithIrontail.
Theroadseemedtopassthrougharegionoflargefarms,offeringfew
opportunitiesforsellingbooks,thehousesbeingsofarapart,butEliph’knewthe
smallsettlementofClarencewasafewmilesfartheron,andhewascarrying
enlightenmenttothebenighted.Heglowedwithmissionaryzeal.Inhis
eagernesshethoughtlesslyslappedthereinsonthebackofIrontail.
Instantlytheplump,graytailofthehorseflashedoverthereinandclampedit
fast.Eliph’Hewlittleanedoverthedashboardofhisbuggyandgraspedthehair
ofthetailfirmly.Hepulleditupwardwithallhisstrength,butthetaildidnot
yield.Instead,Irontailkickedvigorously.Eliph’Hewlitt,knowinghishorseas
wellasheknewhumannature,climbedoutofthebuggy,andtakingtherein
closebythebitledIrontailtothesideoftheroad.Thenhetookfrombeneaththe
buggyseatabulky,oilcloth-wrappedparcelandseatedhimselfnearthehorse’s
head.TherewasnosafetyforatimiddriverwhenIrontailhadthusassumed
commandoftherein.Therewasnowaytogetareinfrombeneaththattailbutto
ignoreit.InanhourorsoIrontailwouldgrowforgetful,carelesslybegin
flappingflies,andreleasethereinhimself.
Eliph’Hewlittunwrappedtheoilclothfromtheobjectinenfolded.Itwasabook.
ItwasJarby’s‘EncyclopediaofKnowledgeandCompendiumofLiterature,
Science,Art,ComprisingUsefulInformationonOneThousandandOne
Subjects,IncludingAHistoryoftheWorld,theLivesofallFamousMen,
QuotationsFromtheWorld’sGreatAuthors,OneThousandandOneRecipes,Et
Cetera’.OneVolume,fivedollarsboundincloth;sevenfiftyinmorocco.Eliph’
Hewlittpassedhishandaffectionatelyoverthegilt-stampedcover,andthen
openeditatrandomandread.


ForyearshehadbeenreadingJarby’sEncyclopedia,andamongitstenthousand
andonesubjectshealwaysfoundsomethingnew.Itopenednowat“CourtshipHowtoMakeLove—HowtoWintheAffections—HowtoHoldThemWhen

Won,”andalthoughhehadreadthepagesoftenbefore,hefoundinallpartsof
thebook,wheneverhereadit,anewmeaning.Itoccurredtohimthatevena
bookagentmighthavereasontousethehelpfulwordssetforincleartypeinthe
chapteron“Courtship—HowtoMakeLove,”andherealizedthatsometimehe
mustreachtheagewhenhewouldneedahomeofhisown.Foryearshehad
thoughtofwomanonlyasapossiblecustomerforJarby’sEncyclopedia.Every
woman,notalreadymarried,henowsaw,mightbeapossibleMrs.Eliph’
Hewlitt.
Suddenlyheraisedhishead.Onthebreezetherewasbornetohimthesoundof
voices—manyvoices.Heclosedthebookwithabang.Hissmallbodybecame
tense;hiseyesglittered.Hescentedprey.Hewrappedthebookinitsoilcloth,
laidituponthebuggyseat,andtakingIrontailbythebridle,startedinthe
directionofthevoices.
Halfamiledowntheroadhecameuponasceneofmerriment.Inacleared
grovemen,womenandchildrenweregathered;itwasachurchpicnic.Eliph’
HewlitttookhishitchingstrapfrombeneaththebuggyseatandsecuredIrontail
toatree.
“Churchpicnic,”hesaidtohimself;“one,two,sixteen,twenty-four,ANDthe
minister.GoodfortwelvecopiesofJarby’sEncyclopediaorI’mnogoodmyself.
Ilovechurchpicnics.Whatsolovelyastoseethepastorandhisflockgathered
togetherinabunch,asImaysay,liketen-pins,readytobescoopedin,allatone
shot?”
Hewalkeduptotherailfenceandleanedagainstitsothathemightbeseenand
invitedin.Itwasbetterpolicythanpushinghimselfforward,anditgavehim
timetostudythefaces.Hedidnotfindthemhopefulsubjects.Theywerenotthe
facesofreaders.Theywerenoteventhefacesofbuyers.Evenintheirholiday
finery,thewomenwereshabbyandthemenwerecareworn.Theminister
himself,white-beardedandgray-haired,showedmoresignsofspiritualgrace
thanintellectualstrength.
Onewoman,freshandbrightasabutterfly,appearedamongthem,andEliph’

Hewlittknewheratonceasacitydweller,whohadsomehowgotintothisdull


andhard-workingcommunity.Almostatthesamemomentshenoticedhim,and
approachedhim.Shesmiledkindlyandextendedherhand.
“Won’tyoucomein?”sheasked.“Idon’tseemtorememberyourface,butwe
wouldbegladtohaveyoujoinus.”
Eliph’Hewlittshookhishead.
“No’m,”hesaidsadly.“I’dbetternotcomein.NotthatIdon’twantto,butI
wouldn’tbewelcome.Thereain’tanythingIlikesomuchaschurchpicnics,and
whenIwasaboyIusedtocryforthem,butIwouldn’tdarejoinyou.I’ma”—
helookedaroundcautiously,andsaidinawhisper—“I’mabookagent.”
Theladylaughed.
“Ofcourse,”shesaid,“thatDOESmakeadifference;butyouneedn’tbeabook
agentto-day.Youcanforgetitforawhileandjoinus.”
Eliph’Hewlittshookhisheadagain.
“That’sit,”hesaid.“That’sjustthereason.ICAN’Tforgetit.Itryto,butI
can’t.JustwhenIdon’twantto,Ibreakout,andbeforeIknowitI’vesold
everybodyabook,andthenIfeellikeI’dimposedongoodnature.Theytakeme
inasafriendandthenIsell‘emacopyofJarby’s‘EncyclopediaofKnowledge
andCompendiumofLiterature,ScienceandArt,’tenthousandandonesubjects,
fromAtoZ,includingrecipesforeveryknownuse,quotationsfromfamous
authors,livesoffamousmen,and,inoneword,alltheworld’swisdom
condensedintoonevolume,fivedollars,neatlyboundincloth,onedollardown
andonedollaramonthuntilpaid.”
Hepaused,andtheladylookedathimwithanamusedsmile.
“Ofsevenfifty,handsomelyboundinmorocco,”headded.“SoyouseeIdon’t
feellikeIoughttoimpose.IknowhowIam.Youtakemymothernow.She
hadn’tseenmeforeightyears.I’dbeentravelingallovertheseUnitedStates,
carryingknowledgeandcultureintothehomesofthepeopleatfivedollars,easy

payments,perhome,andIgotatelegramsaying,‘Comehome.Mothervery
ill.’”Henoddedhisheadslowly.“Wonderfulinvention,thetelegraph,”hesaid.
“Ittellsallaboutitonpage562ofJarby’s‘EncyclopediaofKnowledgeand
CompendiumofLiterature,ScienceandArt,’—whoinvented;whenfirstused;


nameofeverycity,town,villageandstationintheU.S.thathasatelegraph
office;completeexplanationofthetelegraphsystem,tellinghowwordsare
carriedoveraslenderwire,etcetery,etcetery.Thisandtenthousandother
usefulfactsinonevolume,onlyfivedollars,boundincloth.SowhenIgotthat
telegramItookthetrainforhome.LookintheindexunderT.‘Train,Railway—
seeRailway.’‘Railway;whenfirstoperated;inventorofthelocomotiveengine;
railwayaccidentsfrom1892to1904,givingnumberoffatalaccidentsperyear,
permonth,perweek,perday,andpermiles;etcetery,etcetery.Everysubject
knowntomanfullyandinterestinglytreated,WITHillustrations.”
“Idon’tbelieveIcareforacopyto-day,”saidthelady.
“No,”saidEliph’Hewlitt,meekly.“Iknowit.NorIdon’twanttosellyouone.I
justmentionedittoshowyouthatwhenyouhaveacopyofJarby’s
EncyclopediaofKnowledgeyouhaveanentirelibraryinonebook,arranged
andindexedbythegreatestmindsofthenineteenthandtwentiethcenturies.One
dollardownandonedollaramonthuntilpaid.But—whenIgothomeIfound
motherlow—verylow.WhenIwentinshewasjustabletolookupandwhisper,
‘Eliph’?’‘Yes,mother,’Isays.‘Isitreallyyouatlast?’shesays.‘Yes,mother,’I
says,‘it’smeatlast,mother,andIcouldn’tgetheresooner.IwasoutinOhio,
carryingjoytocountlesshomesandintroducingtothemJarby’sEncyclopediaof
KnowledgeandCompendiumofLiterature,ScienceandArt.Itisabook,
mother,’Isays,‘suitedforrichorpoor,youngorold.Nofamilyiscomplete
withoutit.Tenthousandandonesubjects,allindexedfromAtoZ,includingan
appendixoftheSpanishWarbroughtdowntothelastmoment,andmapsof
Europe,Asia,Africa,NorthandSouthAmericaandAustralia.Thisbook,

mother,’Isays,‘isagoldmineofinformationfortheyoung,andasolaceforthe
old.Pages201to263filledwithquotationsfromtheworld’sgreatpoets,making
selectandhelpfulreadingforthefiresidelamp.Pages463to468,dyingsayings
offamousmenandwomen.Abook,’Isays,‘thatteachesushowtoliveandhow
todie.Allthewisdomoftheworldinonevolume,fivedollars,neatlyboundin
cloth,onedollardownandonedollaramonthuntilpaid.’Motherlookedupat
meandsays,‘Eliph’,putmedownforonecopy.’SoIdid.IhopeImaydothe
sameforyou.”
Theladywasabouttospeak,butEliph’Hewlitthelduphishandwarningly.
“No,”hesaid.“Ibegyourpardon.Ididn’tMEANtosaythat.Icouldn’tthinkof
takingyourorder.Ididn’tmeantoaskitanymorethanImeanttoaskmother.


It’shabit,andthat’swhatI’mafraidof.I’dbetternotintrude.”
Theladyevidentlydidnotagreewithhim.Heamusedherbecausehewaswhat
shecalleda“type,”andshewasalwaysonthelookoutfor“types.”Sheurged
himtojointhepicnic,andsaidhecouldtrynottotalkbooks,andremindedhim
thatnoonecoulddomorethantry.Heclimbedthefencewithareluctancethat
wasthemorenoticeablebecausehisclimbingwasretardedbytheoilclothcoveredparcelheheldbeneathhisarm.Theladysmiledasshenoticedthathe
hadnotfearedhissolicitinghabitssufficientlytoleavethebookinthebuggy,
andshemadeamentalnoteofthistobeusedinthestoryshemeanttowrite
aboutthisbook-agenttype.
“MynameisSmith,”shetoldhim,asshetrippedlightlytowardthegroupabout
thelunchbaskets.
Eliph’Hewlittwasasmallmanandhismovementswereshortandjerky.He
drewhishandoverhisredwhiskersandcoughedgentlywhenshementionedher
name,andasshehurriedonbeforehimhelookedathertall,straightfigure;
noticedthestylishmodeofhersimplesummergown,andcaughtaglimpseof
low,whiteshoesandneatanklescoveredbydelicatelywovensilk.
“Courtship—HowtoMakeLove—HowtoWintheAffections—HowtoHold

ThemWhenWon,”hemeditated.“Lovely,butshewillnotsuit.Sheisan
encyclopediaofknowledgeandcompendiumofliterature,scienceandart,but
sheisnottheeditionIcanafford.Sheisgilt-edgedandmoroccobound,andan
ornamenttoanyparlor,butIcan’taffordher.Mystyleiscloth,goodsubstantial
cloth,onedollardownandonedollaramonthuntilpaid.AsImightsay.”


CHAPTERIISusan
Mrs.Tarbro-Smithhadarrangedthepicnicherself,hopingtobringalittle
pleasureintothedullnessofthesummer,enliventheinterestinthelittlechurch,
andmakeapleasantdayforthepeopleofClarence,andshehadsucceededin
thisasineverythingshehadundertakenduringhersummerinIowa.Asthe
leaderofherownlittlecircleofbrightpeopleinNewYork,shewasaccustomed
todoingthingssuccessfully,andperhapsshewastoosureofalwayshaving
thingsherownway.Assisteroftheworld-famousauthor,MarriottNolan
Tarbro,shewasalwaysreceivedwithconsiderationinNewYork,evenby
editors,butinseekingoutadeadeddyinmiddleIowashehadbeeninsearchof
thetwothingsthatthewomanauthormostdesires,andbesthandles:localcolor
andtypes.TheeditorofMURRAY’SMAGAZINEhadtoldherthathisnative
ground—middleIowa—offeredfreshmaterialforherpen,and,intenton
openingthisnewmineoflocalcolor,shehadstolenawaywithoutlettingeven
hermostintimatefriendsknowwhereshewasgoing.Tohavehercoming
heraldedwouldhaveputher“types”ontheirguard,andforthatreasonshehad
assumedasanimpenetrableincognitoone-halfhername.Noraysofreflected
fameglitteredonplainMrs.Smith.
Whileherliterarysidehadfoundsomepleasureinstudyingthepeopleshehad
fallenamong,shewasnotabletorecognizethedistinctnessoftypeinthemthat
theeditorofMURRAY’Shadledhertobelievesheshouldfind.Shehadhoped
todiscoverinClarenceatypeassharplydefinedastheNewEnglandYankeeor
theYorkCountyDutchofPennsylvania,butshecouldnotseethatthemiddle

Iowanwasanythingbuttheaveragecountrypersonsuchasisfoundanywherein
Illinois,Indiana,andOhio,atypethatishardtoportraywithfidelity,except
withrathermoreskillthanshefeltshehad,sinceitiscomposedofinnumerable
ingredientsdrawnnotonlyfromNewEngland,butfromnearlyeveryState,and
fromallthenationsofEurope.However,herkindnessofhearthadbeenableto
exertitselfbountifully,andshehadhadenoughexperienceinhersundry
searchesforlocalcolortoknowthatalapseoftimeandofdistancewould
emphasizethetypesshewasnowseeing,andthatbythemiddleofthewinter,
whenoncemoreinherNewYorkapartment,herpresentexperiencesand
observationswouldhavetherightperspective,andtheirsalientfeatureswould
standoutmoreplainly.Soshewontheheartsofherhostess,andofthedozenor
morechildrenofthehouse,withsmallgifts,andoverjoyedwiththissheset


aboutmakingthewholecommunityhappier.Littlepresents,smiles,andkind
wordsmeantsomuchtotheoverworked,hopelesswomen,andhercheery
mannerwassopleasanttomenandchildren,thatallworshippedher—clumsily
andmutely,butwhole-heartedly.Shewasafairyladytothem.
Thetruthwasthat,inhereagernesstosecurethemostvividkindoflocalcolor,
shehadgoneasteptoofar.Clarence,withitsdecayedsidewalksandrotting
buildings,wasnottypicalofmiddleIowaanymorethanastagnantpoolliftbya
recededriverafterafloodistypicaloftheriveritself.Beforethedaysof
railroadsClarencehadbeenalivelylittletown,butitwasonthetopofahill,
and,whentheengineeroftheJeffersonWesternRailroadhadlaidhisruleron
themapandhaddrawnastraightlineacrossIowatorepresentthecourseofthe
road,Clarencehadbeenlefttenortwelvemilestooneside,and,asthetown
wasnotimportantenoughtojustifyspoilingthebeautyofthestraightlineby
puttingacurveinit,astationwasmarkedontheroadatthepointnearest
Clarence,andcalledKilo.Forawhilethenewstationwasmerelyasidetrackon
thelevelprairie,aconvenienceforthemenofClarence,butbeforeClarence

knewhowithadhappenedKilowasaflourishingtown,andtheoldertownon
thehillhadbeguntodecay.EvenwhileClarencewasstillsneeringatKiloasa
sidetrackvillage,KilohadbeguntosneeratClarenceasaplayed-outcrossroads
settlement.Clarence,whenMrs.Tarbro-Smithvisitedit,wasnomoretypicalof
middleIowathanasunfishreallyresemblesthesun.
InClarenceMrs.Smith’sbestlovedandbestlovingadmirerwasSusan,
daughterofherhostess,and,toMrs.Smith,Susanwasthelongsoughtand
impossible—agoodmaid.FromthefirstSusanhadattachedherselftoMrs.
Smith,and,forloveandtwodollarsaweek,shelearnedallthatalady’smaid
shouldknow.WhenMrs.SmithaskedherifshewouldliketogotoNewYork,
Susanjumpedupanddownandclappedherhands.Susanwasassweetand
lovableasshewasuseful,andunderMrs.Smith’scareshehadbeentransformed
intosuchathingofbeautythatClarencecouldhardlyrecognizeher.Insteadof
tow-coloredhair,crowdedbackbymeansofablackrubbercomb,Susanhad
beentaughtaneatarrangementofherblondelocks—sogreatisthemagicofa
fewdefttouches.Insteadofbeingagawkygirlofseventeen,inafadedblue
calicowrapper,Susan,astransformedbyoneofMrs.Smith’ssimplewhite
gowns,wasayounglady.ShesoworshippedMrs.Smiththatsheimitatedherin
everything,eventothelesserthings,likemotionsofthehand,andtossingsof
thehead.


WhenMrs.SmithbroachedthematteroftakingSusantoNewYork,she
receivedashockfromMr.andMrs.Bell.Shehadnotforonemomentdoubted
thattheywouldbedelightedtofindthatSusancouldhaveagoodhome,good
wages,andacitylife,insteadoftheexistenceinsuchatownasClarence.
“Well,now,”Mr.Bellsaid,“wegottersorto’talkitover,mean’ma,‘forewe
decidethat.Susan’sa’mostourbaby,sheis.T’hain’tbutfourof‘emyounger
thanwhatsheisinourfambly.We’llletyouknow,hey?”
MaandPaBelltalkeditovercarefullyandcametoadecision.Thedecisionwas

thattheyhadbettertalkitoverwithsomeoftheneighbors.Theneighborsmetat
Bell’sandtalkeditoveropenlyinthepresenceofMrs.Smith.
TheyagreedthatitwouldbeagreatchanceforSusan,andtheysaidthatnoone
couldwantanicer,kinderladyforbossthanwhatMrs.Smithwas—“but‘tain’t
nowaysrighttotakenorisks.”
“Yousee,ma’am,”saidMaBell,“WEdon’tknowwhoyouarenomorethan
nothin’,dowe?Andwedoknowhowasthembigtownsisungodlytobeatthe
band,don’twe?Iremembermygrandmatellin’mewhenIwasalittlegirlabout
theawfulgoin’sonsheheardtellofonetimewhenshewasdowntoPittsburg,
andIreckonNewYorkmustbetwicethesizeofPittsburgwasthemdays,soit
mustbetwiceaswicked.Sowetellyouplain,withoutmeanin’noharm,that
WEdon’tknowwhoyouare,norwhatyou’ddowithSusan,onceyougotherto
NewYork.”
“Oh,Inowwhatyouwant,”saidMrs.Smith;“youwantreferences.”
“Them’sit,”saidMrs.Bell,withgreatrelief.
“Well,”saidMrs.Smith,“thatiseasy.IknowEVERYBODYinNewYork.”
Shethoughtamoment.
“There’sMr.Murray,ofMURRAY’SMAGAZINE,”shesuggested,mentioning
herfriendofthegreatmonthlymagazine.
“Guessweneverheardofthat,”saidMrs.Belldoubtfully.
“ThendoyouknowtheAEONMAGAZINE?IknowtheeditorofAEON.”


TheneighborsandMrs.Belllookedateachotherblankly,andshooktheirheads.
Mrs.SmithnamedALLthemagazines.Shehadcontributedstoriestomostof
them,butnotonewasknown,evenbyname,toherinquisitors.Oneshyoldlady
askedfaintlyifshehadeverheardofMr.Tweed.Shethoughtshehadheardofa
MisterTweedofNewYork,once.
Then,quitesuddenly,Mrs.Smithrememberedherownbrother,thegreat
MarriottNolanTarbro,whoseromancessoldineditionsofhundredsof

thousands,andwhowas,beyondalldoubt,thegreatestlivingnovelist.Kings
hadbeengladtomeethim,andnewsboysandgaminsranshoutingathisheels
whenhewalkedthestreets.
“Howsillyofme,”shesaid.“Youmusthaveheardofmybrother,Marriott
NolanTarbro,youknow,whowrote‘TheMarquisofGlenmore’and‘TheTrain
Wreckers’?”
Mrs.Bellcoughedapologeticallybehindherhand.
“I’mnotverylittery,Mrs.Smith,”shesaidkindly,“butmebbyMrs.Steinknows
ofhim.Mrs.Steinreadsalot.”
Mrs.Stein,whosesolereadingwastheBibleandsuchadvertisingbookletsas
camebymail,orasshecouldpickuponthecounterofthedrugstore,whenshe
wenttoKilo,moveduneasily.Foryearsshehadhadthereputationofbeinga
greatreader,andbroughtfacetofacewiththesisterofanauthorshefearedher
reputationwasabouttofall.
“Whatsayhisnamewas?”sheasked.
“Tarbro,”saidMrs.Smith,asonewouldmentionShakespeareorNapoleon.
“Tarbro.MarriottNolanTarbro.”
“Well,”saidMrs.Steinslowly,turningherheadononesideandlookingatthe
spotontheceilingfromwhichtheplasterhadfallen,“Iwon’tsayIhaven’t.And
Iwon’tsayIhave.WhenapersonreadsasmuchaswhatIdo,shereadsso
manynamestheyslipoutofmemory.JustthisminuteIdon’tquitecallhimto
mind.Mightynear,though;Imindafelleroncethatpeddlednotionsthrough
herenameofTarbox.Mightyouknowhim?”


“No,”saidMrs.Smith,“Ihaven’tthehonor.”
“Ithoughtmebbyyoumightknowhim,”saidMrs.Stein.“Hisbusinesstookhim
‘roundconsiderable,andIthoughtmebbyitmighthavetookhimtoNewYork,
andthatmebbyyoumighthavemethim.”
Mrs.Bellsighedaudibly.

“It’sgoin’tobeanawfultrialtoSusanifshecan’tgo,”shesaid;“butIdunno
WHATtosay.SeemslikeIoughtn’ttosay‘go,’an’yetIcan’tabeartosay
‘stay.’”
“IMUSThaveSusan,”saidMrs.Smith,puttingherarmaboutthegirl.“Iknow
youcantrustherwithme.”
“Clementina,”saidMr.Bellsuddenly,“whydon’tyouleaveittotheminister?
He’dsettleitforthebest.Whydon’tyouleaveittohim?Hey?”
“Well,blessmystars,”saidMrs.Bell,brighteningwithrelief,“I’doughttohave
thoughtofthatlongago.HeWOULDknowwhatwasforthebest.I’llaskhim
to-morrow.”
To-morrowwasthepicnicday.
AsMrs.SmithledthewayforEliph’Hewlitt,theministerleftthegroupof
womenwhohadclusteredabouthim,andwalkedtowardher.
“SisterSmith,”hesaid,inhisgrave,kindway,“SisterBelltellsmeyouwantto
carryoffourlittleSusan.Youknowwemustbewiseasserpentsandgentleas
dovesIdeciding,and”—helaidhishandonherarm—“thoughIdoubtnotall
willbewell,Imustthinkoverthematterawhile.Welcome,brother,”headded,
offeringhishandtoEliph’Hewlitt.
Thelittlebookagentshookitwarmly.
“‘Iwasastrangerandyetookmein,’”hesaidglibly.“Fineweatherfora
picnic.”
Hiseyesglowed.Tomeettheministerfirstofall!Thiswasgood,indeed.Years
ofexperiencehadtaughthimtoseektheministerfirst.Tostarttheroundofa


smallcommunitywiththeprestigeofhavingsoldtheministerhimselfacopyof
Jarby’sEncyclopediamadesuccessacertainty.
Hetooktheoilcloth-coveredparcelfrombeneathhisarm,andhandedittothe
ministergently,lovingly.
“Keepituntilthepicnicisover,”hesaid.“I’mabookagent.Isellbooks.THIS

isthebookIsell.Takeitawayandhideit,soIcanforgetitandbehappy.Don’t
letmehaveituntilthepicnicisover.PLEASEdon’t!”
Hestretchedouthisarmsinfreedom,andtheministersmiledandledtheway
towardtheplacewhereabuggycushionhadbeenlaidonthegrassashisseatof
honor.
“Iwillretainthebook,”saidtheminister,withasmile,“althoughIdon’tthink
youcansellthebookhere.MybrethreninClarencearenotreaders.Ireadlittle
myself.Wearepoor;wehavenotimetoread.ExcepttheBible,Iknowofbut
onebookinthisentirecommunity.SisterDawsonhasacopyofBunyan’s
sublimework,‘Pilgrim’sProgress.’Itwasanheirloom.Beseated,”hesaid,and
Eliph’HewlittseatedhimselfTurk-fashion,onthesod.
Theministertookthebookcarefullyonhisknees.Eventofeelanewbookwas
apleasurehedidnotoftenhave,andhisfingersitcheduponit.
InthreeminutesEliph’HewlittknewtheentirestoryofMrs.SmithandSusan,
sofarasitwasknowntotheminister,andheleanedoverandtappedwithhis
forefingerthebookontheminister’sknee.
“Openit,”hesaid.
Theministerremovedthewrapper.
“Page6,Index,”saidEliph’Hewlitt,turningthepages.Heranhisfingerdown
thepage,andupanddownpage7,stoppedatalineonpage8,andhastilyturned
overthepagesofthebook.Atpage974helaidthebookopen,andtheminister
adjustedhisspectaclesandreadwherethebookagentpointed.Thenhepushed
hisspectaclesuponhisforeheadandlookedcarefullyatthepicnickers.He
singledoutMrs.Tarbro-Smith,andwavedhertowardhimwithhishand.She
cameandstoodbeforehim.


Theministerwipedhisspectaclesonhishandkerchief,readjustedthemonhis
nose,andbentoverthebook.
“Whatisyourbrother’sname?”heaskedkindly,butwithsolemnity.

“MarriottNolanTarbro,”sheanswered.
Hetracedthelinescarefullywithhisfinger.
“Born?”heasked.
“June4,1864,atTarrytown-on-the-Hudson.”
“Andheismarried?”
“MarriedAmandaRogersLong,atNewport,RhodeIsland,June14,1895.”
“Whereishelivingnow?”heasked.
“LastyearhewaslivinginNewYork—Iamawidow,asyouknow—butlast
fallhewenttoAlgiers.”
“ThebooksaysAlgiers.What-er-clubsisheamemberof?”
“Oh,yes,”saidMrs.Smith;“TheAuthorsandTheCentury.”
“Ihavenodoubt,”saidtheminister,“fromwhatthebooksays,andwhatyou
say,thatyouareindeedthesisterofthis—ah—celebrated”—helookedatthe
book—“celebratednovelist,whoisamanofsuchstandingthathereceived—ah
—severalmorelinesinthisworkthantheaverage,more,infact,thanTalmage,
morethanBeecher,andmorethanthepresentgovernoroftheStateofIowa.I
thinkImaysafelyadviseMrs.BelltoletSusangowithyou.”
“One!”saidEliph’Hewlittquickly.“That’sjustONEquestionthatcameup
flaring,andwasmashedflatbyJarby’sEncyclopediaofKnowledgeand
CompendiumofLiterature,ScienceandArt,abookinwhicharetenthousand
andonesubjects,fullytreatedbythebestmindsofthenineteenthandtwentieth
centuries.Onesubjectforeverydayintheyearfortwenty-sevenyears,and
someleftover.Religion,politics,literature,everysubjectunderthesun,
gatheredinonegrandcolossalencyclopediawithanindexsosimplethatachild


canunderstandit.Seepage768,‘Texts,Biblical;HintsforSermons;TheArtof
PulpitEloquence.’Noministershouldbewithoutit.Seepage1046,‘Pulpit
Orators—GoldenWordsoftheGreatest,comprisingselectionsfromSpurgeon,
Robertson,Talmage,Beecher,Parkhurst,’etcetery.Abookthatshouldbein

everyhome.Lookat‘P’:Poets,Great.Poison,Antidotesfor.Poker,Rulesof.
Poland,HistoryandGeographyof,withMap.Pomeroy,Brick.Pomatum,How
toMake.PoncedeLeon,VoyagesandLifeof.Pop,Ginger,’etcetery,etcetery.
Thewholeforthesmallsumoffivedollars,boundincloth,onedollardownand
onedollaramonthuntilpaid.”
Theministerturnedthepagesslowly.
“Itseemsaworthybook,”hesaidhesitatingly.
Eliph’HewlittlookedatMrs.Smith,withaquestioninhiseyes.
Shenodded.
“Ah!”hesaid.“Mrs.Smith,sisterofthewell-knownnovelist,MarriottNolan
Tarbro,takestwocopiesofJarby’sEncyclopediaofKnowledgeand
CompendiumofLiterature,ScienceandArt,boundinfullmorocco,oneof
whichshebegstopresenttotheworthypastorofthishappyflock,withher
complimentsandgoodwishes.”
“Ican’tthankyou,”stammeredtheminister;“itissokind.Ihavesofewbooks,
andsofewopportunitiesofsecuringthem.”
Eliph’Hewlittheldouthishandforthesamplevolume.
“Whenyouhavethisbook,”hedeclared,“youNEEDnoothers.Itmakesa
Carnegielibraryofthehumblesthome.”
Theentirepicnichadgraduallygatheredaroundhim.
“Ladiesandgents,”hesaid,“Ihavecometobringknowledgeandpowerwhere
ignoranceanddarknesshavelurked.Thisvolume–-”
Hestoppedandhandedhissampletotheminister.
“Introducemetotheladyinthebluedress,”hesaidtoMrs.Smith,andshe


steppedforwardandmadethemacquainted.
“MissBriggs,thisisMr–-”
“Hewlitt,”hesaidquickly,“Eliph’Hewlitt.”
“Mr.Hewlitt,”saidMrs.Smith.“MissSallyBriggsofKilo.”

“I’mgladtoknowyou,MissBriggs,”saidEliph’Hewlitt.“Ihopewemay
becomewellacquainted.AsIwassayin’toMrs.Smith,I’mabookagent.”
ForthechapteronJarby’sEncyclopediathatdealtwith“Courtship—Howto
WintheAffections,”saidthatthefirststepnecessarywastobecomewell
acquaintedwiththeonewhoseaffectionsitwasdesiredtowin.ItwasnotEliph’
HewlittwaytowastetimewhenmakingasaleofJarby’s,andhefeltthatno
moredelaywasnecessaryindisposingofhisheart.


CHAPTERIII
“HowtoWintheAffections”
MissSallyglancedhurriedlyaround,seekingsomeretreattowhichshecould
fly.Mrs.Smith,havingintroducedEliph’Hewlitt,hadturnedaway,andtheother
picnickersweregatheredaroundtheminister,lookingoverhisshouldersatthe
copyofJarby’sEncyclopedia.Althoughshecouldhavenoidea,asyet,that
Eliph’Hewlitthaddecidedtomarryher,MissSallywasafraidofhim.Shewasa
daintylittlewoman,withjustafewgrayhairstuckedoutofsightunderthe
brownones,butalthoughshewasordinarilyabletoholdherown,eachyearthat
wasaddedtoherlifemadehermoreafraidofbookagents.
Timeaftertimeshehadsuccumbedtothewilesofbookagents.Itmadeno
differencehowshereceivedthem,norhowshesteeledherheartagainsttheir
plausiblewords,shealwaysendedbuyingwhatevertheyhadtosell,andafter
thatitwasafighttogetthemoneyfromherfatherwithwhichtopaythe
installments.PapBriggsobjectedtopayingoutmoneyforanything,buthe
consideredthataboutthemostuselessthinghecouldspendmoneyforwasa
book.WheneverheheardtherewasabookagentinKiloheactedlikeahen
whensheseesahawkinthesky,readytopouncedownuponherbrood,andhe
potteredaroundandscoldedandcomplainedandwarnedMissSallytobeware,
andthenintheendthebookagentalwaysmadethesale,andMissSallyfeltasif
shehadcommittedsevenoreightdeadlysins,anditmadeherlifemiserable.

Onlyafewmonthsbeforeshehadfallenpreytoamanwhohadsoldherasetof
SirWalterScott’sCompleteWorks,twodollarsdown,andonedollaramonth,
andshefeltthattheworkofurgingthemonthlydollaroutofherfather’spocket
wasallshecouldstand.
Whyandhowsheboughtbooksalwaysremainedamysterytoher;itisa
mysterytomanybookbuyershowtheyhappentobuybooks.Bookagents
seemedtohaveamesmerizingeffectonMisssally,asserpentsdazebirdsbefore
theydevourthem.Theprocessappliedbetweenthetimewhenshestatedwith
theutmostpositivenessthatshedidnotwant,andwouldnotbuy,abook,andthe
time,afewminuteslater,whenshesignedhernametotheagent’slistof
subscribers,wassomethingshecouldnotfathom.