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Advance praise for
The EQ Interview
“Adele Lynn’s newest book, destined to be a bestseller, captures the
vital importance and necessity of behavioral interviewing for emo-
tional intelligence. I find myself not being able to put this book down!”
—John Dickson, President and CEO, Redstone SeniorCare
“Selecting the right candidate is critical. Without question, The EQ
Interview will enable me to make far more intelligent and informed
hiring decisions.”
—Bill Abbate, Director, Excell Technologies
“The great challenge of recruiters is how to identify emotional intelli-
gence in potential candidates. The EQ Interview gives us a practical guide
and excellent tool to identify professionals with these skills.”
—Lúcia Helena M. Meili, Human Resources Director,
MPD Engenharia, São Paulo, Brazil
“Using the tools in The EQ Interview, recruiters and hiring managers
will get a more complete view of a candidate’s qualifications, which is
sure to result in better hiring decisions.”
—Jane Patterson, President, Begin Again Group, Inc.
“When the concepts outlined in this book are done correctly, the hir-
ing manager and/or recruiter can directly influence the overall morale,
teaming, interpersonal as well as organizational effectiveness and pro-
ductivity of the organization.”
—Franky Johnson, Johnson & Lee Consulting, LLC
“The EQ Interview is an essential resource for managers in all sectors of
the economy.”
—Darlene Bigler, Executive Director, Community
Action Southwest
“The EQ Interview captures the backbone of competencies that organi-
zations must have in order to provide high quality services in today’s

society.”
—S. Doug Kovach, Director, Head Start, Southwestern PA
“The EQ Interview by Adele Lynn is of great importance to guide the
hiring professional. It drives the interview to be more objective about
emotional intelligence.”
—Glauce Gravena, Director, Multi-National
Fortune 500 Company, São Paulo, Brazil
Finding Employees
with High Emotional Intelligence
Adele B. Lynn
American Management Association
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The EQ Interview
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lynn, Adele B.
The EQ interview : finding employees with high emotional

intelligence / Adele B. Lynn.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-0-8144-0941-1
1. Employee selection. 2. Emotional intelligence—Examinations,
questions, etc. 3. Core competencies. 4. Employment interviewing.
5. Work—Psychological aspects. I. Title. II. Title: Employees with
high emotional intelligence.
HF5549.5.S38L96 2008
658.3′1125—dc22
2008001437
© 2008 Adele B. Lynn
All rights reserved.
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RINTING NUMBER
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CONTENTS

1 Introduction 1
2 The Five Areas of Emotional Intelligence
and the EQ Job Competencies 7
3 Self-Awareness 15
Competency 1: Impact on Others 16
Competency 2: Emotional and Inner Awareness 20
Competency 3: Accurate Assessment of Skills
and Abilities 26
4 Self-Control or Self-Management 33
Competency 1: Emotional Expression 35
Competency 2: Courage or Assertiveness 39
Competency 3: Resilience 42
Competency 4: Planning the Tone of Conversations 47
5 Empathy 53
Competency 1: Respectful Listening 54
Competency 2: Feeling the Impact on Others 56
Competency 3: Service Orientation 58
6 Social Expertness 65
Competency 1: Building Relationships 68
Competency 2: Collaboration 71
Competency 3: Conflict Resolution 74
Competency 4: Organizational Savvy 78
v
7 Personal Influence: Influencing Self 85
Competency 1: Self-Confidence 86
Competency 2: Initiative and Accountability 91
Competency 3: Goal Orientation 94
Competency 4: Optimism 98
Competency 5: Flexibility and Adaptability 101
8 Personal Influence: Influencing Others 111

Competency 1: Leading Others 112
Competency 2: Creating a Positive Work Climate 116
Competency 3: Getting Results Through Others 121
9 Mastery of Purpose and Vision 129
Competency 1: Understanding One’s Purpose and Values 130
Competency 2: Taking Actions Toward One’s Purpose 133
Competency 3: Authenticity 135
10 The EQ Fraud and Other Warning Signs 141
All One-Sided: Too Good to Be True 142
Other Behavior Trends 146
A Word About Instinct 151
11 A Final Word 153
Appendix 1. Emotional Intelligence Table
of Competencies 157
Appendix 2. Questions by Area and Competencies 161
Index 181
About the Author 185
vi CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1
Introduction
1
F
undamental emotional intelligence (EQ) competencies lie beneath
great performance for nearly every job tackled by today’s work-
force. For a hiring manager or interviewer, including these competen-
cies as part of the interview process begs consideration. We’re not
suggesting that technical skills and abilities be taken for granted. Skills
and technical competence must always serve a prominent role in the
assessment process. However, a growing body of evidence points to
the fact that when technical competencies are equal, EQ competen-

cies account for job success in many different positions. In fact, for
some positions, EQ competencies account for a larger portion of job
success than technical competencies. Leadership IQ, a training and re-
search center that teaches executive and management best practices,
conducted a study of more than twenty thousand employees that
tracked the success and failure of new hires. After interviewing 5,247
managers, the study’s researchers concluded that only 11 percent of
employees failed because they lacked the technical competence to do
the job. The remaining reasons new hires failed were issues such as
alienating coworkers, being unable to accept feedback, lack of ability
to manage emotions, lack of motivation or drive, and poor interper-
sonal skills.
1
These results provide a good indication that including
comprehensive EQ competencies as part of the interview process gives
hiring managers and interviewers access to new and critical informa-
tion to predict a candidate’s effectiveness.
As baby boomers become eligible for retirement and begin to exit
the workforce, employers grapple with how to hire and train enough
workers to fill the void. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics,
20 percent of the workforce will be over age fifty-five by 2010. In
2004, the number of people age forty and older in the workforce is
over 56 percent.
2
Companies face large numbers of new hires who
will view the organization much differently than do the employees
who are leaving. Commitment and retention will be a challenge be-
cause these new hires will have little invested in a company. As a re-
sult, they will have little incentive to stay for the long term if they
receive a more lucrative offer from another firm. If the hiring com-

pany doesn’t meet the new hire’s expectations, that new hire will
leave—causing an endless hiring-resignation cycle and a resultant gap
in the skills and abilities needed for the company to compete. And
this cycle will prove costly. Turnover costs range from 120 to 200 per-
cent of annual salary, and new employee performance takes thirteen
months to reach maximum efficiency. These statistics offer another
compelling reason to screen for emotional intelligence competencies.
Organizational commitment and retention are closely linked to emo-
tional intelligence.
3
Few would argue that commitment and retention
are not useful traits. Retention links directly to job satisfaction. Job
satisfaction is related to self-esteem, emotional stability, and consci-
entiousness.
4
The emotional intelligence model in this book takes all
of these elements into consideration.
To address and plan for future manpower needs, organizations
perform skills audits that take into account the technical skills that
will be needed once the baby boomers exit. Granted, hiring and train-
ing people for technical skills begins to fill the technical void or brain
drain, but since various studies estimate that emotional intelligence
competencies account for anywhere from 24 to 69 percent of perfor-
mance success, companies waste their recruitment efforts if they don’t
consider screening methods aimed at a candidate’s emotional intelli-
gence.
5
In addition to auditing the technical gap, companies must
begin to audit and map the skills and competencies beyond technical
excellence that drive the organization’s success. What defines a com-

pany’s outstanding service orientation? What makes a company nim-
ble enough to act on market-driven changes? What inspires the
innovation and creativity that keep a company competitive? What
forces drive the integrity of and trust in a brand? These are not tech-
nical competencies by nature. Although technical excellence is a com-
2 THE EQ INTERVIEW
petitive factor that can’t be ignored, the competencies that drive these
intangible market advantages are propelled by the very core, or fun-
damental, competencies that define how a company does things.
The organization’s objective becomes hiring people who can de-
liver the how consistent with the company’s success. The interview
process gives the hiring manager and interviewer a unique opportunity
to determine how people accomplish results, not just what they ac-
complish. This insight into how people accomplish results allows the
hiring manager and interviewer to assess whether or not the person
will fit within the organization. They can assess whether the potential
new hire will contribute in a way that aligns with the organization’s
values and behave in a way that is consistent with the company’s com-
petitive advantage—or whether the candidate’s behavior will collide
with the organization’s goals. Poor fit is one of the three most likely
causes of employee turnover.
6
Research suggests that fit, not skill or ed-
ucation, is the most common reason people fail. Fit also plays a signif-
icant role in turnover due to job dissatisfaction.
This book assists hiring managers and interviewers to assess EQ
competencies. It gives hiring managers and interviewers a description
of each of the EQ competencies, examples of the EQ competencies in
the workplace in various types of jobs, interview questions for each of
the EQ competencies, and analyses of responses to the suggested ques-

tions. With these tools, hiring managers and interviewers can evalu-
ate and construct an interview plan that gives them a more complete
picture of the candidates’ abilities to succeed.
Not all jobs require all the EQ competencies covered in this
book. However, because emotional intelligence is so fundamental to
our ability to interact with people, many jobs require at least some
of these competencies. The hiring manager and interviewer must
decide which competencies contribute to success in the position
they are hiring for. Then the hiring manager or interviewer should
select interview questions that represent these competencies. Some
of the questions in this book are aimed at managers or leaders; how-
ever, most are acceptable for all job levels. We encourage the inter-
viewer and hiring manager to record the questions asked as well as
the responses. If multiple candidates are to be interviewed, a consis-
tent approach and consistent questions produce the most unbiased
results.
INTRODUCTION 3
Behavior-based interviewing forms the fundamental theoretical
base for the questions in this book. Behavior-based interviewing ex-
amines past behavior and how that behavior contributes to a person’s
success. Behavior-based interviewing in a structured format has the
highest validity of all interviewing tools, according to a study by Ryan
and Tippins from Michigan State University.
7
Unfortunately, some man-
agers rely solely on the tools of gut instinct and chemistry to predict
a person’s effectiveness. We recommend behavior-based interviewing,
following a defined structure, and noting and rating answers based on
a Likert scale as the most useful methods for interviewing candidates.
We believe that these methods give the interviewer important data to

quantify gut instincts and overall impressions.
To gain an understanding of emotional intelligence, the inter-
viewer will examine the very nature of the behaviors that led to suc-
cessful results. We believe it is possible for a candidate to have very
successful results while at the same time wreaking havoc on peers or
others within the organization. The questions in this book examine
the behavioral consequences or impact of the successful results, not
just the results. For example, a line manager may have a great pro-
duction record in his unit, but may have accomplished this goal by ig-
noring the needs of peers and may in fact be blind to the goals of the
organization. Alternatively, long-term goals and results may be sacri-
ficed for short-term numbers.
It is also possible for certain behaviors to create a successful out-
come, yet not take into consideration the motives or intentions of the
candidate. Therefore, on many of the questions, the effective inter-
viewer or hiring manager will listen for the thought patterns that pre-
ceded and those that followed a particular behavior. This gives the
interviewer insights into the intentions behind the behavior as ex-
pressed by the candidate. The interviewer won’t be in the position of
making judgments about the candidate’s intentions, but instead will
be directed to listen to the facts about the candidate’s intentions as re-
ported in reflection by the candidate herself.
Candidates will also be directed to reflect on times when their
outcomes or results didn’t meet their intentions. By asking candidates
to reflect on their results, interviewers encourage candidates to reveal
behavior patterns that can dramatically affect teamwork, service ori-
entation, helpfulness, respectfulness, persistence, reaction to failure,
4 THE EQ INTERVIEW
resilience, and other important EQ competencies. This helps the in-
terviewer and hiring manager understand how candidates use past ex-

periences and integrate them into their current behavior.
INTRODUCTION 5
Endnotes
1. “Leadership IQ Study: Why New Hires Fail,” PR Newswire, September 20,
2005, 1.
2. Ellen Galinsky, “The Changing Landscape of Work,” Generations (Spring
2007): 7.
3. Chi-Sum Wong and Kenneth S. Law, “The Effects of Leader and Follower
Emotional Intelligence on Performance and Attitude: An Exploratory
Study,” Leadership Quarterly (June 2002): 243.
4. “Job Performance Linked to Personality,” Industrial Engineer 39, 7 (July 2007):
11.
5. V.U. Druskat, F. Sala, and G. Mount, eds., Linking Emotional Intelligence and
Performance at Work (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2006).
6. Nancy Gardner, “Should I Stay or Should I Go? What Makes Employees
Voluntarily Leave or Keep Their Jobs,” University of Washington Office
of News and Information, July 26, 2007, hington
.edu/ni/article.asp?articleID=31234.
7. Ann Marie Ryan and Nancy T. Tippins, “Attracting and Selecting: What
Psychological Research Tells Us,” Human Resource Management 43, 4 (Win-
ter 2004): 305.
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CHAPTER 2
The Five Areas
of Emotional Intelligence
and the EQ Job Competencies
7
Self-Awareness
and Self-Control
Empathy

Mastery of Purpose
and Vision
Social Expertness
Personal Influence
Inward OutwardInward
E
motional intelligence is defined as a person’s ability to manage
herself as well as her relationships with others so that she can live
her intentions. Very often, emotional intelligence is misunderstood.
In fact, many people think that emotional intelligence is equivalent
to social skills. Thinking that emotional intelligence is social skills,
however, is like thinking that a car is a steering wheel. This viewpoint
simply misses a huge part of the picture. Social skills are about our re-
lationship with the external world—how we interact with others. Of
course, those skills make up a part of the EQ competencies, but so much
of emotional intelligence is about our internal world. And it is our in-
ternal world that will drive how we interact with and respond to the
external world. Emotional intelligence, therefore, includes skills that
drive our internal world, as well as our response to the external world.
Our model for emotional intelligence contains five areas: self-
awareness and control, empathy for others, social expertness, personal
influence, and mastery of purpose.
1
Within the five areas, several spe-
cific competencies emerge. See Figure 2.1 and Appendix 1 for the Table
of Competencies. Definitions and competency descriptions of the five
areas are as follows:
1. Self-awareness and self-control comprise one’s ability to fully under-
stand oneself and to use that information to manage emotions
productively. This area includes the competencies of accurate un-

derstanding of one’s emotions and the impact emotions have on
performance, accurate assessment of strengths and weaknesses,
understanding one’s impact on others, and self-management or
self-control, including managing anger, disappointment, or failure
(resulting in resilience) and managing fear (resulting in courage).
2. Empathy is the ability to understand the perspective of others.
This area includes the competencies of listening to others, under-
standing others’ points of view, understanding how one’s words
and actions affect others, and wanting to be of service to others.
3. Social expertness is the ability to build genuine relationships and
bonds and express caring, concern, and conflict in healthy ways.
This area includes the competencies of building relationships, or-
ganizational savvy, collaboration, and conflict resolution.
4. Personal influence is the ability to positively lead and inspire oth-
ers as well as oneself. This area includes the competencies of lead-
ing others, creating a positive work climate, and getting results
from others. It also includes self-confidence, initiative and moti-
vation, optimism, and flexibility.
8 THE EQ INTERVIEW
5. Mastery of purpose and vision is the ability to bring authenticity to
one’s life and to live out one’s intentions and values. This area in-
cludes the competencies of understanding one’s purpose, taking
actions toward one’s purpose, and being authentic.
As you can see in the model depicted in Figure 2.1, three of the
components relate to our internal world (self-awareness and self-
control, empathy, and mastery of purpose and vision). The other two
form our relations to the external world (social expertness and per-
sonal influence). However, it is important to recognize that all are
interrelated, and one component builds on the next. Without self-
awareness and self-control, it is difficult, if not impossible, to improve

one’s relationship with the outside world. For example, if I am not
aware of my actions, thoughts, and words, I have no basis for self-un-
derstanding. If I have some awareness and self-understanding, then I
can ask, What is my impact on others, in my current state? If I find
that impact to be negative—if I find that it detracts from my life goals
—I may choose to change my actions, thoughts, or words. However,
some people look at themselves, understand that their actions, words,
or thoughts have a negative impact on others or detract from their life
goals, yet still either choose not to change or find change too difficult
to enact. In emotional intelligence, this change is what we call self-
control. It is about knowing ourselves, and then deciding the appro-
priate volume level and expression of our emotions. How do these
emotions enhance our relationships with others and our life goals,
and how do they detract from them? Self-awareness and self-control
are intertwined, as self-awareness alone is of little service without self-
control. Leaders, teammates, and others in the workplace are interde-
pendent, so it behooves everyone to improve self-understanding and
then to act upon this knowledge.
Beyond self-awareness and self-control is empathy, which is also
listed as an internal function on our model. Empathy must be felt in-
side before it can be reflected somehow in our relationships with peo-
ple in our external world. Therefore, empathy is a turning point or
transition in our emotional intelligence as it plays out in the outside
world. Also, without empathy, we are incapable of comprehending
the impact of our actions or words on others. We may have been told
THE FIVE AREAS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 9
that a particular behavior or word affects others in a negative way, but
empathy enables us to experience it. It also drives us to want to be
helpful or of service to others.
Next in our model is social expertness. Few of us can work or live

in isolation. People are generally a part of the equation. Social expert-
ness allows us to build genuine social bonds with others. It allows
us to know people in a way that is beyond knowing name, rank, and
serial number. It allows us to connect with them in an honorable
way. The best analogy I can offer is that it’s not about the number of
people in your Rolodex, but rather about the reaction those people
have when you’re on the other end of the phone. Are they delighted
that you called, or would they rather be talking to the long-distance
carrier trying to sell phone services? Beyond honorable social bonds,
social expertness calls on us to invite those within our social bonds
to collaborate in achieving our intentions. How well are we able to
collaborate with others and blend thoughts and ideas to achieve
goals or live intentions? But once we have invited people to collabo-
rate, conflict is inevitable, as different ideas will emerge. How will we
resolve those differences? Social expertness demands high levels of
conflict-resolution skills, which work to preserve social bonds and
trust. Social expertness also requires us to have organizational savvy
in order to move ideas and goals forward while maintaining positive
relationships.
Personal influence is the next area of our model for emotional in-
telligence. It also reflects our interactions with others. Personal influ-
ence is where true leadership emerges. Before this relationship stage,
we are peer to peer; it is here that we intend to influence others toward
goals or missions. However, we cannot influence others if we have not
created strong bonds or invited others to collaborate, or if we lack the
ability to resolve conflict in healthy ways. Leadership is not reserved
for positional leaders, however; all people are leaders. Even if we think
about leadership in terms of influencing our children, this area of emo-
tional intelligence is essential for a rich life and calls on us to influence
others. Equally important is our ability to influence ourselves. It is

within the walls of our own souls that the most work must be done. As
we influence ourselves to change, we can be an instrument of influ-
ence to others. Influencing ourselves requires our ability to take initia-
tive, stay motivated, display confidence and optimism, and be flexible.
10 THE EQ INTERVIEW
Finally, the model includes mastery of purpose and vision. It is the
most internally seated of all the aspects of emotional intelligence, and
it serves as a foundation on which to build a more emotionally intel-
ligent life. It is, in essence, both the reason we strive for emotional in-
telligence and the foundation that keeps us anchored. If we know
what our purpose is, it is much easier to determine what types of emo-
tional reactions will serve our purpose and what types will defeat it.
Therefore, understanding and managing emotions helps us to live our
life purpose. We place it last because it is sometimes the most difficult
to know and conceptualize. Although it is certainly possible to excel
in all other areas of emotional intelligence without yet discovering
true purpose, once true purpose is discovered, emotional intelligence
will be easier to improve.
THE FIVE AREAS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 11
FIGURE 2.1
Emotional Intelligence Table of Competencies
AREA OF EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE DEFINITION COMPETENCIES
Self-Awareness and The ability to fully Self-Awareness
Self-Control understand oneself and • Impact on others:
one’s impact on others An accurate under-
and to use that standing of how
information to manage one’s behavior or
oneself productively words affect others
• Emotional and inner

awareness: An
accurate under-
standing of how
one’s emotions and
thoughts affect
behaviors
• Accurate self-
assessment: An
honest assessment
of strengths and
weaknesses
(continued)
FIGURE 2.1 Continued
AREA OF EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE DEFINITION COMPETENCIES
Self-Control
• Emotional
expression: The
ability to manage
anger, stress,
excitement, and
frustration
• Courage: The ability
to manage fear
• Resilience: The ability
to manage disap-
pointment or failure
Empathy Ability to understand • Respectful listening:
the perspective of Listening respectfully
others to others to develop

a deep under-
standing of others’
points of view
• Feeling impact on
others: The ability to
assess and determine
how situations as well
as one’s words and
actions affect others
• Service orientation:
The desire to help
others
Social Expertness Ability to build genuine • Building relation-
relationships and bonds ships: The ability to
and express caring, build social bonds
concern, and conflict • Collaboration:
in healthy ways The ability to invite
12 THE EQ INTERVIEW
(continued)
FIGURE 2.1 Continued
AREA OF EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE DEFINITION COMPETENCIES
others in and value
their thoughts
related to ideas,
projects, and work
• Conflict resolution:
The ability to resolve
differences
• Organizational savvy:

The ability to under-
stand and maneuver
within organizations
Personal Influence Ability to positively lead Influencing Others
and inspire others as • Leading others:
well as oneself The ability to have
others follow you
• Creating a positive
work climate: The
ability to create an
inspiring culture
• Getting results
through others: The
ability to achieve
goals through others
Influencing Self
• Self-confidence: An
appropriate belief in
one’s skills or abilities
• Initiative and account-
ability: Being inter-
nally guided to take
steps or actions and
taking responsibility
for those actions
THE FIVE AREAS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 13
(continued)
FIGURE 2.1 Continued
AREA OF EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE DEFINITION COMPETENCIES

• Goal orientation:
Setting goals for one-
self and living and
working toward goals
• Optimism: Having a
tendency to look at
the bright side of
things and to be
hopeful for the best
• Flexibility: The ability
to adapt and bend
to the needs of
others or situations
as appropriate
Mastery of Purpose Ability to bring • Understanding one’s
and Vision authenticity to one’s purpose and values:
life and live out one’s Having a clearly
intentions and values defined purpose and
values
• Taking actions
toward one’s
purpose: Taking
actions to advance
one’s purpose
• Authenticity:
Alignment and
transparency of
one’s motives,
actions, intentions,
values, and purpose

14 THE EQ INTERVIEW
Endnote
1. Adele Lynn, The EQ Difference (New York: Amacom, 2005).
CHAPTER 3
Self-Awareness
15
Self-Awareness
Inward OutwardInward
Competency 1—Impact on Others
Competency 2—Emotion and Inner Awareness
Competency 3—Accurate Assessment of Skills and Abilities
S
elf-awareness is the ability to fully understand oneself and one’s
impact on others and to use that information to manage emotions
productively. It includes three competencies:
1. Impact on others, which is an accurate understanding of how one’s
behavior or words affect others;
2. Emotional and inner awareness, which is an accurate understanding
of how one’s emotions and thoughts affect one’s behaviors; and
3. Accurate assessment of skills and abilities, which is an accurate as-
sessment of your strengths and weaknesses.
Understanding how one’s emotions and thoughts affect one’s be-
havior, and then understanding how one’s behavior impacts one’s
teammates, peers, customers, vendors, and most other members of
the human race, are critical and fundamental skills in emotional in-
telligence. When one understands the direct relationship between
how one behaves and how others react, this breakthrough connection
enhances one’s ability to get along with others and achieve results.
This revelation is at the heart of self-awareness. It is also at the center
of many workplace values such as teamwork, customer service, and re-

spect. But these values aren’t just nice words that appear on the com-
pany values list. They are central to getting work done and building
organizations and businesses.
Competency 1: Impact on Others
Consider the sales representative who has no idea that he just insulted
a customer by directing her to a “more affordable” alternative. The
customer felt insulted by the way the salesperson communicated. The
sales representative said, “Well, you’d probably be better suited to our
lower-price brand.” The customer felt that the salesperson judged her
ability to pay and felt that he was demeaning. The customer quietly
left the store to find another place to spend her money. The sales rep-
resentative’s intentions were in fact to help the customer find the
most affordable alternative. As consumers, we’ve all suffered these lit-
tle insults. However, now research clearly links the emotional intelli-
gence competency of self-awareness to sales performance. The research
16 THE EQ INTERVIEW
states that salespeople’s performance is enhanced with emotional in-
telligence competencies such as self-awareness.
1
Another painfully unaware individual, a physician, interrupted as
the patient talked, thus missing an important symptom that the patient
was about to reveal. In fact, statistics suggest that patients have only
twelve seconds to speak before the physician interrupts.
2
Of course, the
physician probably meant well. Perhaps the mounting pressures of a
waiting room full of patients led to the physician’s impatience.
In another example, an IT help person waltzed into an executive’s
office to offer tech support on a computer problem. The IT employee
said nothing; instead, after a quick inspection of the problem, he

shook his head and sighed. Then his fingers flew across the keyboard
as he implemented a quick fix of the problem. The executive said that
the tech’s dismissive attitude insulted him. The tech saw this problem
as a waste of his time that could have been avoided if others on his
team had installed the software correctly. He wondered what he could
do to avoid this problem in the future. The executive, however, read
his behavior as curt and dismissive.
Yet another employee complained to the manager that a coworker
routinely made comments about her in front of others that she found
insulting. The coworker said she’s just teasing and suggested that the
employee was too thin-skinned. In fact, the coworker said she really
likes the employee and thought that these little barbs kept everyone
laughing and having a good time.
A common morale complaint lodged against some leaders is that
they often don’t say good morning. Employees criticize these leaders
as lacking common courtesy and respect and setting a sour tone in the
workplace. The leaders who are guilty of this infraction don’t even re-
alize that the employees feel snubbed.
All of these examples of lack of self-awareness create costs in terms
of productivity and profit. In the case of health care, lack of self-aware-
ness can also cost lives. You’ll notice that the examples cut across in-
dustries, job function, and education levels. You’ll notice, too, that in
each of these examples, the perpetrator did not have bad intentions.
In each case, the person responsible for the action was either preoc-
cupied or even trying to be helpful. In fact, we find that most persons
who behave in a manner that others find disturbing actually have
SELF-AWARENESS 17
good intentions. They simply are blind to how their behaviors are im-
pacting those around them. Awareness of how our behaviors and
moods affect others is a universal EQ competency that all hiring man-

agers and interviewers should include in their interview strategy. No
matter what the job, the hiring manager or interviewer should craft
questions that will give some indication of a potential applicant’s un-
derstanding of his impact on others.
It’s also valuable for the interviewer or hiring manager to gain in-
formation with questions aimed at assessing the candidate’s observa-
tion skills. Assessing whether a candidate can astutely observe herself
and the impact she has on others allows the candidate to monitor her
behavior. It also gives the interviewer information as to whether the
candidate can read nonverbal cues and other signals and adapt her
behavior accordingly. A study published in the IT Managers Journal
found that IT professionals who had the ability to read nonverbal cues
and adapt accordingly displayed better problem awareness, solution
generation, and decision making.
3
A study of certified public accoun-
tants found that those who were able to read and respond to nonver-
bal cues were able to build more trusting relationships and to attract
high-net-worth clients.
4
Questions to Assess Impact on Others
Q: Tell me about a time when you did or said something and it had
a positive impact on a coworker, a customer, or an employee.
Q: Tell me about a time when you did or said something and it had
a negative impact on a coworker, a customer, or an employee.
Q: Tell me about a time when you were surprised about the positive
impact your behavior or words had on a coworker, a customer, or
an employee. How did you learn this information?
• What did you do when you learned this information?
Q: Tell me about a time when you were surprised about the negative

impact your behavior or words had on a coworker, a customer, or
an employee.
18 THE EQ INTERVIEW