Phụ nữ Việt Nam di cư sang các nước Đông Á để kết hôn: hành trình làm quen và hòa nhập

NghiSn ci3u
Gia ainh vk Gi6i
Stf 4 - 2 0 1 2

Phu niif Viet Nam dl cir sang cic nudic D6ng A
de ke't hfin: hdnh trinh Mm quen vd hfia nhap
Vu Thi Thanh Nhan, Trln Giang Linh
Vi«n Nghifin cin Ptidl i n ^ Xfl hOi

Vu Thanh Long

Tom t^t: Bai vie't'" dya tren iihfm tich 40 phong vfi'n sau v6i cac
CO dau Viet Nam Ifi'y chong Diu Loan vfi Hfin Quoc nhfim tim
hifiu quyen tu chu/tfnh chii dong (agency) cua cac phu nfl Viet
Nam Ifty chong nitdc ngofii khi hp phai s6'ng vfi Ifim quen v6i mot
m6i trUdng hofin tofin xn la, vira phai doi ph6 v6i cfic quan ni^m
ph6' bifi'n cho rfing phy nfl Ifi'y chfing nUdc ngofii lfi nan nhfin va
kc cd h$i, dong thdi phii nh^n quy^n tU chu vfi sU dong gop ciia
ho doi vdi ca cimg dong ndi di vfi ndi den. Kei qua nghien cflu cho
thfi'y du cuoc hon nhfin ciia co dau \'ii'i vi muc dich nao di chang
niJta: lay chong dfi' kiem lion giJn v^ que cho cha m? de, de tra ni?
cho ho hfing. hay ddn Ihufin Ifi lay chong vi mUu sinh thi tU ho
cung phiii lam quen va hoa nhfip vdi cuoc song bfing nhieu cfich de
c6 duijc mot gia dinh hanh phiic. Dieu nay giiip cho chiing ta hieu
hdn \c CO dau Viet tCr nhieu chieu canh khac nhau mgt each chan
thuc va chinh xac nhfi't.
Tii khoa: Hon nhan; Di cU, Di ca ket hon; Lay chong nUdc ngoai.

Mcidau
Trong hai thfip ky trfl lai dfiy. Vifii Nam da chihig kifi'n su gia tfing
nhanh chong ciia dong di eu trong nuflc vfi qufl'c tfi'. trong do co dong di

Vu Thj Thanh Nhfin v6 cfic t&c gia kh6e

65

cu dang kfi' cDa phu nii Vifit Nam sang cfic nuflc Dtfng A. nhu Dfii Loan,
Hfin Qutfc vfi Nhfit Ban dfi' kfi't htfn. Stf lifiu thfl'ng kfi cho thfi'y tCr 1995-2007
cfl khoang 180.000 ngufli Vifit Nam kfi't hfln vfli ngufli ciia 60 nuflc, trong
do phu nif chifi'm Ifli 80%. Trong stf cfic cutfc htfn nhfin cfl yiu ttf nuflc
ngofii nfiy, hfln nhfin vfli nam gifli Dfii Loan vfi lifin Qufl'c chi^m da s6'. Tai
Dfii Loan vfi Hfin Qufl'c. stf ctf dfiu Vifit Nam dihig thii: hai. chi sau ctf dfiu
dfi'n ID Trung Qutfc (Btf Tu phap, 2011). Di cu dfi'n Dfii Loan d^ k^t htfn da
bfit dfiu tit khoang nhiJng n;lm 1990. Cho dfi'n nfim 2005. da cfl gfin
100.000 "cfl dfiu Viel Nam" kcl htfn fl dfi't nuflc nfiy (Hsia, 2005). Di cu d^
kfi'l htfn dfi'n Hfin Qutfc cung bfii dfiu vfio nhutig nfim 2000-2001 vfi gia tfing
nhanh chflng. Chi tinh rifing nfim 2005 da ctf khoang 5,000 ctf dfiu Vifii
Nam dfi'n Hfin Qufl'c va theo ufle tinh cfl thfi' tfing Ifin rfit nhi^u trong nhirng
nam Ifli (Kim, 2006).
MOl difiu dfic bifit ciia cac cutfc htfn nhfin nfiy Ifi phfin Ifln do cac cflng
ty hofic ngufli mfli gifli "tfic hgp trgn gfli", tu'c Ifi tD khfiu gifli thifiu chu rfi'
vci cfl dfiu, ttf chiJc cfic tour tim vg tai nuflc cfl dfiu dang sinh sfl'ng, td chiic
lfi cuoi, va tifi'p dfi'n hoan thfinh eac thii tuc gifi'y tfl cho cfl dfiu sang dinh
cu vfli chii rfi' (Wang, 2007). Mflt stf nghifin cihi da chi ra rfing chfnh su
ihay dfli vfi nhfin khfiu hoc va vfin hoa d mflt so qufl'c gia phat tri^n hon
uong khu vuc da lam tang nhu cfiu tim kifi'm vg ngufli nuflc ngoai ciia nam
gifli a cac nuflc do. Cu thfi' la. xu huong phu nu tri hoan hfln nhfin hofic
chgn giai phap khtfng kfi't htfn, smh it con hofic khflng sinh con dfi tap
trung vfio cong vific vk cfic nhu cfiu ca nhfin ngay cang cao da khifi'n cho
nam gi(W ngfiy cfing kho kifi'm vg trong nuflc (Piper va Roces, 2003). Trong

khi dfl. truyen thflng vfi cac ctfng ty mtfi gidi ngay cfing anh huong tfli vific
lua chgn ban dfli tai mflt stf nuflc dang phfii trifi'n thflng qua vific xfiy dung
hinh tugng ngufli phu nii truydn ihtf'ng - cfic cfl dfiu nuflc ngoai - nhu nhimg
ngufli phu hc^ vfli cac vai tro Ifim me vfi lam vg. Ngoai ra viec thifi'u hut
nu gifli fl mgt stf nuflc Chfiu A do chfinh Ifich nghifim trgng ty lfi gifli u'nh
khi sinh cung thiie dfiy nhu cfiu tim vg ngufli nuflc ngofii cua dfin flng nuflc
nay (Jones and Ramdas, 2004).
Muc dich ciia bai nay la nhfim tim hifi'u quy^n tu chu/li'nh chii dflng
(agency) ciia cac phu nir Vifit Nam lfi'y chflng nuflc ngoai tai ncfi cac cfl
dang sinh sfl'ng, khi hg phai sfl'ng vfi lam quen vfli mtft mfli truong hofin
toan xa la khi lfi'y chtfng nuflc ngoai, vDa phai dtfi phd vfli cac quan nifim
pho bifi'n cho rfing phu nii Ifi'y chtfng nuflc ngofii la nan nhfin vfi ke ca hfli,
dong thfli phu nhfin quyen tu chii vfi su dong gflp ciia hg dfl'i voi ca cgng


66

Nghiin cUu Gla dlnh vi GIdl. Quyi'n 22, sd' 4, tr.64-75

ddng noi di v i noi ddn.
Bii vi«l duu trdn phin tfch 40 phdng vin .siu vdi cic cd diu Vidt Nam
li'y chdng D i i Loan v i Hin Qufic. Cic ph6ng vin siu niy dugc ihi/c hidn
lai chfnh noi cic cfl dung sinh .sfing b D i i Loan v i Hin Qufic tit thing 2
ddn thing 4 nim 2009. Ihflng qua cic mfli quan hd xa hfli 6 Vidt Nam dd
cfl Ihd lim quen v i tidp cin vfli mflt vii cfl diu d bdn D i i Loan v i Han
Qufl'c. MIU dfl nh5 cic cfl diu du phflng va'n gifli thidu cic cfl diu khac.
Ngoii ra nhflm nghidn ciJu cQng sir dung thdm phuong phip phin lich tii
lidu thd" cip v i quan sit cui^c sfl'ng ctia cfl diu Vidt lai Han Qufic va Dii l^oan.
Tfing stf phflng vin m i nhflm nghidn cdu thirc hidn tai Dai Loan va Han
Qufl'c l i 40 cfl diu. trong dfl tai Hin Qufl'c 21 cfi diu v i D i i l^an l i 19 cfl

diu. Da s6 cic cfi diu ddu trong dfl tufii ri't Ire. Irong khoang tufii ttt 20
dtfn 44, trong dfl chii yd'u tir 25 dtfn ;?0 tufii chidm da sfi'. Hpc vin thi'p nhi'l
trong nhflm niy l i Iflrp 2 (chi cfl 1 truflng hgp) hoc vin cao nhit l i dai hoc,
trong dfl sfi cfl diu hoc ci'p 2, cip 3 va hoc cao ding chitfm ty Id cao. Nhu
viy, trinh dfl hoc vi'n cua cic cfl diu Vict ]Sy chfing nudc ngoii trong
nghidn ctiu niy khflng hd thip. didu niy Irii ngupc vfli nhihig hinh anh vd
phu nO Vidt Nam l i y chfing nuflc ngoii qua midu ta ctia bao chi l i "nghdo,
it hoc, ngu dot" (Belanger v i cflng su, 2007).
Vd cflng vide cua cic cfl diu, khoang mflt nila cfl diu dupc phong vin
hidn dang di lim vide cfl luong. cflng vific chu yd'u ciia cac cfi diu l i lam
may, ban hring i n . lam vin phflng vii phidn djch v v Sfi cfi diu cfln lai hidn
dang o nha thuflng lam nfii trp, do nufli con nho hoic mfli kdt hfln. Tflng
hpp vd thfli gian lam diu tai D.'ii Loan v i Hin Qutfc Ihi thfii gian gin diy
nhit l i 3 thing trong klu dfl cfl cfl diu kcl hfln liu nhit l i 14 nim. stf thfli
gian tir 3 ddn 8 nim chid'm da stf.
Cac phan doan trong cuoc ddl khi lam dau xijr ngudi
1) Ciai doan d i u : lam quen vfli hon nhan \a phong tuc, lap quan
que chfing
Truflc khi bin ddn cuflc stf'ng cua ctf diu Viei tai qud chfing, mfit trong
nhirng vi'n dd ma nghidn ci'ni mufln dd cip ifli l i nhOng con dufing din ddn
vice cac cfi dflu chip nhfln la'y chfing nuflc ngoii. Mic du nhidu bai bio
nfli ve cac cfl dflu Vist li'y chtfng Dai Loan va Han Qufl'c nhu nhOng ke co
htfi va Ihuc dung, nhung trong nghidn ctiu niy "nhihig ke co htfi va thuc
dung" do da gap phai nhidu sdc dp vfli nhung cutfc hfln nhin mil mfi vd
thfing tin va xa lie vd khoang each (Belanger v i cfing su, 2007).


Vu T h a n h NhAn vfi c&v tfic gia khAc

67

Ba ngdy vd mdt ddi ngudi
Trong cfic cfiu chuyfin ciia Hofii. ciia Hoa vfi nhi^u cfl dfiu khfic cho thfi'y
vific kfit htfn chii yfi'u thtfng qua mtfi gifli v;i ngufli quen (khoang thfli gian:
2 ngfiy. I lufin, 2 lufin. 1 thfing v.v.) khifi'n nhi^u ctf dfiu khtfng kip tim hifi'u
gi vi chtfng vfi cutfc sfl'ng nfli fl mfli. Hfinh irang di Ifi'y chflng lfi su la Ifim
vfi ciia "htfi mtfn" lfi trach nhifim "giri li^n tra ng cho gia dinh".
6 trfin dfiy tui em cuiS xong thi vfi phdng, di choi vS mifin Tfiy 1 ngfiy rfii ngfiy
sau d6n xe vfi gia dinh choi 1 ngfiy, ngu lai 1 dfim vfi qua ngfiy sau Ifin thfinh phfi
d^ chfing vfi nuflc. tir lOc tuyIn chon 6$n khi cudi xong Ifi vCra trfin 3 ngfiy {Hofii,
21. HQ).
Vi Vifit Nam nhfi thifiu no, gia dinh khfing cfi tifin, vay ng. Mufin di Ifiy chfing
Dfii Loan, sang bfin nfiy mdi cfi co hfii di Ifim d^ gOi tifin vfi cho bfi me ^ 1 ng (Hoa,
28, OL).

Nhi^u cfiu chuyfin vfi viec mai mtf'i htfn nhfin trong phong vfi'n nfiy cho
thfi'y nhung cuflc hfln nhfin ciia cac ctf dfiu Vifii Nam mang mau sfic cua su
nr nguyfin, ro rfing hg hofin tofin chii dflng trong vific chfip nhfin nhOng
cuflc htfn nhfin khtfng tinh yfiu vfi khflng bifin gifli. Linh, qufi D6ng Thfip
da kfi lai vific cfl khfin gfli Ifin Thanh phtf Htf Chi Minh d^ tham gia vfio
cuflc "tuyen vg" ciia cflng ty mtfi gifli ttf chiic, cfl vucrt qua 50 iJng vifin
khac de co dugc cai gat dfiu ung ihuan ciia ngufli chtfng tuong lai. Khi bifi't
lin minh "triing chtfng" co ggi difin vfi cho ba ma fl qufi ihflng bfio tin minh
"tning chtfng" gitf'ng nhu ngufli ta thi dtf dai hgc hay la triing s6 xo vfiy.
Ro rfing fl dfiy, nhung cuflc hfln nhfin khtfng tinh yeu. cuflc hfln nhfin
khong bifin gidi dugc nhifiu co dfiu hao hiic mong chfl vfli tam the hoan
tofin chu dgng.
Bd ngd ldm quen, mdy md hgc tieng
Mflt trong nhirng di^u mfi cac cfl dfiu phai dfl'i mfit la vfin d^ ngtfn ngiJ.
Trong 40 cfiu chuyfin mfi chung itfi trao dtfi vfli cac ctf dfiu chi co mflt cfl

la bifi'l tifi'ng truflc khi sang do cfl do hgc l^ truflc va ctf dfiu do cung la cfl
dau gfin nhu duy nhfi't Irong 40 etf dfiu ke't hfln vfli chong do tim hifi'u ma
khflng qua mai mfli.
So cfic cfl dfiu cfln lai da so khflng bifi'l ngfln ngir. hg phai tu hoc lifi'ng
tit ngufli thfin. hgc tie'ng do chinh phii 2 nuflc itf chitc day buoi toi. CJ Dai
Loan vfi Han Quo'c, ehi'nh phu va cac ttf chiic xa hgi da ral nfl luc trong viec
hfl trg vfi giup dfl cfl dau hoa nhap vfli vfin hoa cac nuflc sfl tai. dac bifit la
ngon ngu bfing each mfl cac Iflp day lifi'ng cho cac co dau (mifin phi).


is

Nghiin ciru Gla dlnh v l G16I. Q u y i n 22, »6' 4, lr.64-75
M()l sang diy em chl tiiSu tl«ng xin chio thdi, ngirdi ta n6l gl minh cOng khdng
bidt. Chdng em nd ndi gl minh khdng hidu Ihl khdc. Sau dd em tt; hpc. cOng man
bidl tidng, 6 thing l i biSt I\QM ta ndi hdt rdi, Gifi ngt/di ta ndi c i i gl thi mmh ddu
bidl (Cd diu HQ, 23 tudi, 4 nim).
Khd khin nhSl cOa em mdi qua l i khdng bidl ndi. Ngu* la ngdi ndi chuydn
ngutSI ta vui, cudi m i em cijr nghi ngirdi ta ngdi ndi xiu minh. Nhfi viy em mdi ging
hgc v i bidl ndi diy chj a. Nhidu khi nghe ngudi la nfii khdng hidu minh cung tore
lim chj«. Cii Ilnh em IhSy l i mudn hpc, bdi viy nd nhanh bidl (Cfi d i u DL, 30
ludi, 8 nim).
Ixim quen vdi cudc sdng mii bdng cdch Idp dn vd ndu mdn dn
Ngoii vide h()c ngfin ngd dd cfl Ihd hidu vi giao tidp vfii chfing vi cic

thinh vidn trong gia dlnh nhi chflng, cfl diu nao cQng phai thdm mflt qua
Irlnh tip i n c i c mfln in qud chfing. Trong c i c ciu chuyfin ciia cfi diu.
duflng nhu vide tip in cic mfln i n qud chflng li ca mflt nfi lire khflng nho.
Ngoii vide t i p fln Ihl vide hfia nhip vfii cudc sfing qud chfing bing cich
lim cic cfing vide ptfi trp, e i e ctf diu cfin phai hoc ca cich niu nnfing cho

ddng khiu li eua gia dlnh chtfng.
LOc mdi sang thl nd cdn bd ngo. mdn i n Ihi cay, em khflng i n ducfc, vira i n
vira khdc, niu khdng bidt thl dimg nhin me chdng ndu. Ldc me chdng nau thi minh
ding nhin dd xem bdn niy i n nhiing mdn gi hing ngiy Din dan cd thd m i Iheo
Ihdi. biy gio thi quen rdi (Didu. Cd diu HO. 32 tudi. t nim).
Nim dau r i t dau khd tai vl khdng quen. oil gi cung khflng quen, com nudc, i n
udng khdng quen. 6 bdn minh c i Ihl c i kho. rau Ihl ludc. C^n bdn niy c i thl ca
chidn, rau IN phii rau xic, cho ndn t i l c i cic thd khflng quen hdt, cdng dau khd
mil thfli gian rdi cOng tir lir quen (Giang, Cd diu DL, 44 tudi, 10 nim).
Mac d l l Irong can chuydn eua cac cfl khflng dd c i p dd'n thai d f l cua gia
dlnh chtfng nhung viec c;ic cfl d i u phai t i p i n , t i p nfin dd cfl Ihd' hoa hgp
vfii chflng va cac t h i n h \ i c n ciia gia dlnh chfing cho thi'y hanh Irinh lam
d i u xir nguoi khfing hd sung .suflng. Boi. dd cfl Ihd tfin tai trong gia dinh
nha chtfng I h i each Ifi't nhfl't ma cae cfl phai l i m la i n n h i m g g i m i n h khflng
thfch, nfl'u nhiJng g i minh khflng Ihem.
Ldm va, Idm ddu, Idm me noi .vd ngudi: mdt hdnh trinh vdi nd luc
gap ddi.
Ben canh vice hoe in, hoe nfli, hpc lam, hanh trinh mo dau dd cic co
dflu CO lh& lam quen vfli quS chfing, cae cfl diu vfln phai thirc hidn e i e vai
tro khac: lam vo, lam diu va lam me. Nhidu nghien cdu cung cho thi'y mac


Vu Thanh Nhnn v6 rtir tfic gia khac

69

du phai stf'ng trong cfic mtfi quan hfi quy^n lire ch6ng chfio trong gia dlnh
nha ch6ng, trong su ki^m sofit ciia me chtfng hay eiia ch6ng, cfic cfl dfiu
Vifit vfin vuon Ifin vfi th^ hifin dugc tfnh chii ih^ eCia minh trong nhQng mtf'i
quan hfi vfli gia dinh chtfng (Tang. Belanger and Wang, 2011).

Chil dfing Irong quan hi tinh due
Nfi'u nhu nhihig ngfiy dfiu. Hanh khtfng dfim nfli chuyfin vfli ai vl khtfng
bifi'l tifi'ng, khtfng dam fin cay vi khflng quen thi chi hon mtfi nam .sau Hanh
da Ifim chll dugc cuflc stf'ng ciia minh. lu di chg. nfiu fin va chii dflng trong
quan hfi vg chtfng vfi Hanh sOiig khfi hanh phiic.
Noi Chung mfi con gfii mfit tufin khfing quan hfi thi khfi chiu nfin Ifim liic minh
ctjng phai doi hdi, chdng em cQng dfing y, nfii chung vg chfing em thofii mfii
(Hanh, Cfi HQ, 27 tu6i. 3 nfim)

Thuong thuydt vdi chdng de ciing hdn hgc vi quyet dinh sinh con
Nghifin ciJu cua Belanger vi su thuong ihao giQa etf dfiu Vifit Nam vfi
chii rfi' Dfii Loan cung chi ra rfing nhiJng ctf dfiu ngoai thuflng dugc trflng
dgi la ngufli sinh con vfi dfic bifit Ifi phai sinh con trai d^ nfli doi tflng
duflng (Tang. Belanger and Wang. 2011). Tuy nhifin Difim da cfl su chu
dflng thuong thuyfi't vfli chtfng trong vific sinh con.
Ca 2 cung quyet djnh sinh bao nhifiu con, Minh khfing muon co them con thi
minh co quyen tii choi, minh ndi vdN chfing (Digm, Cfi dfiu DL, 22 tuoi, 3 nam).
Em chl de mfit dira thdi, cdn then gian mfi di Ifim chiJ, em khdng de dau, me
chdng em bao em de rfii me chfing em nudi cho nhimg ma em khdng (Kim, 35
tudi, cd dau Oai Loan, 8 nam).

Chin dipig vd vuffi qua de gitt gin hgnh phiic gia dinh
Khong CO su tu chu nhu Hanh. nhung Dung cfl each giir gin hanh phiic
ciia minh bfing each chiu dung, ifim nfim lam dfiu la tam nfim Dung co
nhimg dfl'i pho vfli gia dinh chtfng bfing tfim thfi'"chiu dung dfi' vugt qua".
Giong nhu nhieu phu nu Vifii Nam lutfn itfn irgng nhimg gia trj gia dinh.
de' tranh nhung do vfl vfli ngufli chtfng Dfii Loan, vific gi Dung cung chiu
dung, cuflc hfln nhfin 8 nfim ciia Dung la cuflc hfln nhfin ciia su chu dflng
chiu dung.
COng luc mfli dau cung khdng cd tinh cam gi tai vi cung dfiu cd quen, nhung

sau nay cung nghT fl Viet Nam minh rat la tdn trong chuyfin gia dinh, so gia dinh
do vd. khong hanh phuc hay li di nay kia, Cho ngn cii gap chuydn gi em cung chju
dyng qua. Sau dd khdng co nghT ni?a, ri^t tht cung quen (Dung, cd dau OL, 35 tuoi,
8 nam)


70

Nohlin ciru Gla dlnh v i GIdl. QuyS'n 22, id'4, tr.64-75
Dqy con hqc lit'ng Vii>i df nhd ve qui hitimg

Vide sfing Irong mflt mfli truflng hoin loin xa la vd phong tuc va ngfln
ngit, cic cfl diu VidI lai phai lim quen v i lao dflng eho Irfin trich nhidm
v i bfin phin ngufii con dflu, nguiri vo v i ngufii .me. Hiu nhugia dinh ngufli
D i i Loan hay Hin Qufi'c nao cung mong mufin l i y diu vd dd sinh con, die
bidt la sinh con trai. Tuy nhidn, nhidu cfi diu da phai nfi lite rit nhidu Irong
vi^c day cho con minh bid't tidng Vidt,
Em dgy Hdng Vidt cho con em. bi me chflng cOng khdng thich diu nhimg em
oa day, m? nd li ngudi VIdl mi con lai khdng bidl ndng vidI Ihl khfing chjp nhin
dui;ic (Hi, cd diu DL, 25 tudi, 7 nim).
Em cd dfiy Udng Vidt cho con. Nhu li gid hdi ngoai cfi khde khflng, ngoai in
com chua, Miy anh/chj chdng cQng ndi day lidng Vidl cho nd dl dd nd vd nd bidt
(Tud, Cd diu HQ. 23 ludi. 4 nim).
2) (;iai doan hai: hoi nhip vuon len v i thfch nghi vi'ri cuoc song mdi
Thuang luang vdi chdng Irong cudc sdng de hod nhdp tat han
Ciu chuydn cua Nha l i didn hinh cua mflt strkhdo Ido dd tfin tai va vuon
Idn tai qud chfing. Nhidu nghidn cdu dii chi ra ring lai l);ii Loan, viec cufli
mflt cfl gai vd lam vo dfing nghTa vfii vide cfl gai dfl phai thuc hidn hai vai
irfi: cfl diu ngoai v i giup vide nha (Tang, Belanger and \\'.ing, 2011), Tuy
nhidn. Nha di'i khfing di cho quan nidm dfl thanh hidn thttc vin minh, Nha

bid! dua vio chfing. thuyd't phiie chflng do co thd cfl su binh ding tfl't nhit
Irong gia dinh.
Minh sang diy chl cd milflngchdng dd dt/a Ihfli Ihi lim cii gl cOng phii dira
vio chdng, nhd dng xi cho ndn gia dinh cd gi khflng phai thi cung nhu giai Ihich
day cho mmh bidt chir dimg cd cing thing coi nhu ngirfli Vidt gi qua diy chd
khdng phii li ngudi la ddn lim cdng cho nhi minh (Nha, Cd diu BL, 44 tudi, 12
nim).
Nhidu cfi diu V i i l di l.iy chfing Dai Loan hay Han Qufic Ihi ngoii 1^
do di tim hanh phuc con co mflt iraeh nhidm khflng nhfl vfii qud nha: do
la gui tidn vd cho cha me. Vfli I lud. efl da phai kheo leo thuyd't phuc chfing
nhidu dd cfi ihc eo mflt tai khoan ridng mang tdn cfl. Vfii cfi, viec efl mflt
tai khoan dfing nghTa vol vice efl da efl thd chu dflng trong cac quyet dinh
chi tidu.
Chdng khoe la lim tai khoan ma ddng lin chdng, minh khflng ddng y. Phii
ddng tdn minh, minh cd 50, 100 minh ddt »ao day, hay la minh mudn nit bao
nhieu la quydn cua minh. Minh bao vdi chdng la hang Ihang lam viec thi cho minh


Vu Thanh Nh&n vfi car tac gifi khar

71

nia non tidn, phfii c6 ddng ra ddng vfio thi mdi dugc chCr (Hufi, Cd dfiu HQ, 32
tudi, 1 nfim).

Gui tiin vi qui nhd: dp luc vd tif nguyin
Da stf cac ctf dfiu Vifit khi lfi'y chtfng sau khi trfii qua giai doan dfiu: Ifim
quen voi cutfc stf'ng thi bfit dfiu Iim cfich cfl ti^n d^ gCri v^ qufi nhfi. Nhifiu
gia dinh ngufli Dfii Loan nhin nhfin vific gCri ti^n vi qufi nhfi Ifi hfinh vi
khdng cha'p nhfln dugc (Belanger, Khufi'i. Trfin. 2007). Chfnh vi vfiy. Dung

da phai gifi'u me chtfng va em chtfng di ctf th^ giii ti^n cho gia dinh lai Vifit
Nam. Nhifiu ctf dfiu trong nghifin cuu nfiy coi cuflc hfln nhfin ciia minh nhu
mdt phuong ihiic kifi'm sfl'ng. chfnh vi thfi'nhifiu efl khflng mufl'n yfin 6n fl
nhfi nfli trg mfi lutfn mutfn buon chai di'lfim dfi' dfinh dum tifin gifi vi qufi
nhfi. Ngoai ra, cac chi phf htfn nhfin ciia cfic ctf dfiu Vifit tai Vifit Nam
thdng qua mtfi gifli khfi cao {til khoang 20 dfi'n 100 trifiu dflng), vi thfi'ngofii
su tu nguyfin giti tifin vi qufi nhfi thi nhifiu ctf dfiu con mang theo mflt ap
luc phai tra ng vtf'n dfiu tu cho su lfi'y chtfng cua minh.
Em mfi giri vd bdn Vidt Nam thi phai giau me chdng, ndi ra me chdng em cung
lihdng thich Me chdng em to cho tif A dfin Z chi mudn minh tidt kidm lo cudc sdng
sau nay cua minh thdi chii khdng mudn gOi hfit ve Viet Nam (Dung, Co dau DL,
29 tudi, 6 nam).
Nha em cdn no nhidu ttr vu lo cho em di sang dfiy, ma ba mfi em thi gifi rdi,
kiem dau ra, em khdng Ifim gCn vfi thi ba ma lay dfiu ma tra (Hud, cd dfiu HQ, 21
tuoi, 1 nam.

Quan he tinh due - Chdng them chdng

tuchiu

Tinh due lfi mflt chu de nhay cam vfi khflng phai Ifi chu de trgng tfim
cua nghifin ciiu nfiy. Nhung cau chuyfin cua Ngfin vfi Hufi chi Ifi mtft bfing
chiing ma nhflm nghifin ciiu mutf'n dfi cfip dfi'n linh chii thfi ciia cfl dfiu
Irong mtf'i quan hfi voi chtfng. Ngfin trong nghifin ciiu nay dfiy u'nh tu chii
6 vific cfl tu dua va sfip xfip Ijch quan hfi vfli chtfng con Hufi thl chi sir dung
hanh vi "cfiu lung vfi quay lung" nhu bao hifiu vi su dfli hoi vfi lir chtfi cua
minh. Difiu nay khfic vfli nhffng thtfng tin mfi bfio chi Vifit Nam dfing tin
khi lufln cho rfing phu nii Viet Nam di lfi'y chtfng nuflc ngofii chi la nhihig
no lfi tinh due (Daniel. Khufi't. Trfin. 2007).
Em chl cho chdng ngii vSo ngfiy cudi tuan thdi, cdn ngay thudng di lam thi

mdt nen ngu rieng, thinh thoang chdng mo sang phdng em, ndu em khdng
thich thi tu cap goi vd phOng cdn n^u em thich thi ddn chfio em nhidt tinh
(Ngan, Cd dfiu Dai Loan, 36 tuoi, 10 nam.)


71

NghlAn cUu Ola dlnh vi Q\6\. Quy&'n 22, s6'4, tr64-75
Nfiu em thich thi em cfiu lung chdng Ifi chdng hidu, hdm nfio mfi em m§t thl em
quay limg lai thi chdng cOng khfing ddl (Lan, ctf dfiu Hfin Qudc, 25 tutfi, 2 nfim).

Ky thf vd phdn khdng
liong giai doan Ifim quen vfi hfla nhfip vfli cuflc stfng tai nai fl mfli.
nhifiu ctf dflu Vifit da trfii qua nhttng giai doan khtf khfin: khtf khfin vl ngtfn
ngtt, vi phong luc. tfip qufin cHa gia dinh nhfi chtfng. Ngofii ra thl mtft khfl
khfin mfi nhifiu ctf dfiu Vi^t gflp phfii dtf Ifi su ky ihi cua ngufli dfin ban xii
khi hg cho rflng cac ctf dfiu Vi$t sang bfin nfiy chi dtf kifi'm lifin chii khtfng
vi nhung muc dfch htfn nhfin chfin chfnh.
Ngufli ta bfio cd dfiu nutfc ngofii sang bfin nfiy ch? 6i kifim tifin thdi chii sang
bfin nfiy yfiu duong gl. Da phfin hg rlhin nhfin cd dfiu nuflc ngofii dtft nfit, khdng
cd hpc, chf bifit dfi (hdi. khdng day duoc con (Loan, Cd dfiu OL. 28 tu^i. 6 nfim).
Cfiu chuyfin ciia Nhfi Ifi difin hinh cho .su phan khfing dfl'i vfli thfii dtf cua
ngufli dfln ban x t i .
Ngudi ta dfin mua gao. ngudi ta kfiu 'fiy bd mfiy ngudi Vidt hfi', minh trfi Itfi
ngudi Vidt (hi cGng Ifi nguOi. Ngudi ta kfiu 'a mfiy 1 nfim vfi Vidt Nam mfiy Ifin, mdi
Ifin dem di bao nhifiu tifin, vfi cho cha me bao nhifiu?'. Mmh tra lot 'cfii dd Ifi
chuyfin nhfi tdi, tdi hifiu, khdng cd lifin can gi dfin chuyfin nguoi ngoai (Nhfi, Cd
dfiu DL, 44 tudi, 12 nfim),

Vfi, nhttng ntf luc dfi vugt qua nhttng mfii moi trong cutfc song khtfng

hfin v) nhttng ly do cfi nhfln mfi cfln vi nifim tu hfio dfin ttfc
Luc dd, trong Idng liic nfio cung mudn quay trd vfi Vifit Nam nhung suy nghT
lai mmh dfi gfi chdng rdi thi dau khfi minh cung rang vuot qua dfi theo chdng, dfi
trfinh su dau khd dd dfi khi trd vfi nutfc minh c6 sy difin chii di vfi nutfc mfi tan ta
nhu vfiy thi nudc minh n6 bi mfit mfit qufi. suy nghi vfiy vi cdn long tu hao dfin tdc
nCa (NhS. CO dfiu DL, 44 hidi, 12 nfim)

Nhin lai hai giai doan ma cic cfl dfiu Vict da stf'ng vfi trai qua cho thfi'y
do lfi nhung hg da co mtft hfinh triiili dii\ khfl khfin vfi vfit va. Cflu chuyfin
ciia cac ctf dflu cho ihfiy dc ctf dugc mtft cutfc htfn nhfln nhu mong mutfn,
tie- efl Ihfi' gui lifin vi qufi nha, dfi" dtfi pho vfli su ky thi cCia cflng dtfng ngufli
ban xu hg da phfii cimg mfli liic Ihuc hifin nhifiu vai iro dfi' cfl thfi vuon Ifin
khi lam dfiu xtt ngufli.
3) (Hill doan ba: cac chien lugc cho mgt eugc song dai lau
Di ldm vd nhdp qudc tich la ke hoach lau ddi nhu mgt chiin luffc tot
cho qud trinh nhdp cu d xtt ngudi.
Co mflt nua .stf cfl dfiu trong nghifin cttu nay dfiu da vfi dang di Ifim, stf


Vu Thanh NhAn va c6r tkc. gifi khiic

73

Cfl dfiu chua di lam thi hofic lfi do mfli sang hofic nutf i con nho. Tuy nhifin
trong cfiu chuyfin ciia cfic ctf thi cfl nao cung ctf mtft chie'n lugc Irong
tucfng lai: se di lam, mfic dti gia dmh Dfii Loan vfi Hfin Qutfc thuflng mong
mufl'n vg chuyfin Ifim giup vific nhfi, chfim sflc con cfii vfi cac thfinh vifin
trong gia dinh. Nfi'u cfic ctf dfiu Vifit di Ifim thi stf tifin dtf phai dfinh cho
gia dinh mfli chtt khtfng dttiig dfi gtti vi qufi nhfi, Tuy nhifin, ctf dfiu Vifit
khi di Ifim dfiu xtt ngubi ihi nhttng hanh phiic rifing tu ciia hg chua phai

lfi muc dfch chinh, vific gtti tifin vi qufi cung lfi nhifim vu mfi hg canh cfinh
trong Iflng ((Belanger, Trfin, Lfi, 2011). Vi vfiy. Hanh vfi Hdng dfiu cho
rfing di Ifim vfi nhfip qufl'c tich lfi giai phfip vfi each tfl't nhfi't dfi stf'ng dfing
hofing noi xtt ngucri.
6 nudc nfio cOng vfiy chi oi, khdng di Ifim thi cudc sdng cQng phiic tap Ifim,
phfii di Ifim. dll sao di ntta cudc sfing cd sudng mfiy mfi minh khdng c6 vific Ifim
nguoi ta cOng coi thudng minh (Hanh. CO dfiu DL, 37 tudi),

Qua trinh di cu duflng nhu da Ifip cho nhttng ctf dfiu tfnh tu lap vfi quyfi't
doan hem rfit nhieu. Hg f thttc dugc cfic co htfi cung nhu quyfin cua minh
fl nci fl mfli. Trong cfiu chuyfin ciia cfic ctf dfiu, cfl nao cung nfli rfl't ro rang
ve lufit cu tru. lam thfi' nao dfi cfl the eu trii dfii han vfi vific co the cu tru dai
han dong nghTa vdi vific thu nhfip cung tfing theo. Sau giai doan lam quen
va hfla nhap, thi hfiu nhu efl dfiu nfio cung ctf mtft chifin lugc Ifiu dai cho
nai b mfli. Cung phai nfli thfim rfing 40 cfl dfiu trong nghifin cttu deu dang
cd cuflc stf'ng tfn dinh lai qufi chtfng cho du vi mfit nfiy hay mfit khac hg
cd thfi chua hai Iflng vi cuflc sfl'ng cua hg. Dieu do chttng to su nfl luc
khong ngung nghi cua cfic cfl dfiu trong hfinh trinh lam vg, Ifim me va lam
dau cua hg. Trong cac cfiu chuyfin eiia Hanh, Hoa, Difiu hay Linh, gifl dfiy
thay vi tfip fin va nfi'u mtfn fin qufi chflng hg cung da chu dtfng nfi'u mon an
Viet Nam trong cfic btta ccmi gia dinh.
Chu dgng tim kiim cdc cff hgi vi viec ldm
Vfli Hanh, Difiu viec chii dong tim vific lam chinh la each tfl'l nhfi't de
nfim bat cac co htfi ttft trong cuflc dfli lam dfiu ciia minh.
Em nghT Ifi minh phai tu tim cho minh mdt co hpi. Neu minh khdng tim ma dgi
chd thi dgi se rat la lau vfi minh cung khdng biet den bao gid minh mdi cd co hdi
den luot minh, nen minh phai tu chu ddng tim kidm cd hdi cd le se tdt hon (Hanh,
CO dfiu DL, 28 tudi. 5 nam).
Trong tuong lai thi rang hpc rdi mot nam hai nam thi di hpc lai xe„ kiem vide
gi lam. Minh lai xe minh di lam, kiem viec gi phii hgp lam thdi (Dieu, HQ, 26 tuoi,

4 nam).


74

Nflhlftn cttu Gia dlnh v4 Gi6i. Quyt'n 22, itf 4. tr.64-75

Tim kiim vd sd' dung cdc dfch vu xd htU (ngdn hdng, y ti, gUio due)
Ngfin ctf Ifim nam htfn nhfin vfli ngufli chtfng Dfii Loan, difiu ma Ngfin
mong moi chfnh lfi ifi'm thfi cu trtt chttng minh ctf [fi ngufli Dai Loan. Ngfin
hifiu rflng ifim thfi cu irii chfnh Ifi difiu ki?n quan trgng dfi ctf ctf dugc quyfin
ctfng dfln vfi quyfin Igi nhu nhfing ngudi dfin ban dia. Nghifin cttu cua
Belanger vfi ctfng sunfim 2007 cQng cho thfiy nhifiu ngufli chtfng hofic Ihanh
vifin gia dlnh chtfng lai Dai Loan dtfi khi mufl'n tri hofin vific lam thu luc cu
ini dfii han cho ctf dfiu Vifii nhu mtft cfich dfi han chtf tfnh chii dtfng irong
cutfc stf'ng cua hg. Tiiy nhifin, nhttng difiu dtf duflng nhu khtfng lam giam
quyfi't tflm cfl dugc qutfc tjch cua nhifiu ctf dfiu khi di Ifliy chtfng nuflc ngofii.
Cfi qufic tich Ifi minh cd chttng minh thu, ctf luong huu, rtfi thfi bfio hifim y
tfi, nhu cdng dfln Dfii ludn cho nfin em phfii cfi dfi c6 (Ngfin, cfi dfiu OL. 32 tufii,

6 nfim).
Nhfi Ifi mtfi trong vfii ctf dfiu ctf mfli ntf luc wnn bflc, ctf chii dtfng hgc
tifing vfi Ifim quen vdi noi fl mtfi mtft cfich hofin hao. ctf hoc Ifii xe 6 itf, hgc
Ifii xe mfiy vfi dugc cfl'p bang. Vtfi kha nflng ifii xc 6 itf ctf ctf ihfi chu dtfng
irong vific di chtf hfing htfa. Ifim fin butfn ban mfi khtfng phai ctf dfiu ban
dia nfio cung Ifim dugc.
Khi mfi minh c6 dugc chttng minh thu thi minh di hgc Ifii xe d td vfi Ifii xe mfiy
ludn. dng chdng minh cOng ngac nhifin Ifl khdng hifiu minh cd hgc duoc khdng vi
thi ctt ly thuyfit dfiu bfing tifing Dfli. minh hpc vfi dfi, minh mutfn chttng minh cho
chdng vfi anh chi chdng Ifi dfiu Vifit Nam khdng phfii cht dfi dfi con ma con lam

dugc nhifiu vific khfic ntta. Gitf minh bifit Ifii d tfi, mfiy ba chi c ^ n g mufin di dflu
lai phfii nhd minh chd (Nhfl, Cd dfiu OL, 44 tutfi, 12 nfim).

Vice cfic cfi dfiu Ihfi hifin ifnh chu ihfi cua minh dfi ctf mtft chifin luge
cho cuoc .sfl'ng dfii Ifiu cho cuflc song tai qufi chtfng duflng nhu lai la mtfi
thach thttc khtfng nho doi \ai hg. Trong cflu chuyfin ciia hg. nhifiu ctf dfiu
da tfim su "khtfng hifiu sao em lai vugt qua dugc giai doan dtf" cung cho
thfi'y mfli hfinh irinh day cam go va \fii va.
Kfit qua cua nghifin cttu nay nhfim dua ra mtft cfii nhin da chifiu vfi cutfc
sfl'ng ciia co dfiu Vifit Nam l.iy chtfng nitflc ngoai. Cfiu chuyfin cua ctf dfiu
dugc trong bfii vifi't nay cho ihfiy dtt cuflc hfln nhfin cua ctf dfiu Vifit vi muc
dich nfio di chfing ntta: du di la\ chflng dfi kifiin lien giri vi qufi cho cha me
de. du tra ng cho hg hang hay dem thufin la lfi'y chong vi miru sinh ihi lu hg
cung phai lam quen va hoa nhfip vfli cuflc sfl'ng bfing nhifiu cfich dfi co dugc
mgt gia dinh hanh phuc. Difiu nay giup cho chung ta hifiu hem vfi co dfiu Vifii
ttt nhifiu chifiu canh khac nhau mflt each chfln ihuc va chfnh xfic nha't.»


Vu Thanh Nhfin vfi ciic tAc gia khac

75

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Ontario phd'i hop thuc hifin vtfi su tfii lig ciia Trung tfim Nghifin cttu Phdt trifin
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