Essay mẫu hay đã chữa (1)

Ticket Id: 141559
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Many people believe that scientific researches should be carried out and controlled by the
government rather than private company.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that the authority should be the one who conducts and manages scientific studies.
While I agree with this point of view to some extent, I strongly believe that private
organizations are a better candidate taking responsibility for such essential research.
Admittedly, there are some good reasons why the government should be in charge of carrying
and controlling scientific research. Firstly, it is the budget from national taxes that supports
scientists and researchers. Therefore, the company in charge would receive money to
complete their work without worrying about the depletion of resource. Secondly, some
dependent companies only look for profits, which makes it extremely dangerous. For example,
a company may find out a chemistry that can make biological weapons, and then may sell it to
an antisocial party in Pakistan, this is certainly harmful to almost all human beings.
However, despite some argument above, I am of the opinion that private firms would do the
research mentioned much better. Firstly, non-governmental companies usually pay a huge
amount of money for their staff, this helps them attract more talented and skillful scientists to
work for them. As a result, scientific studies and papers conducted by these organizations are
likely to be more accurate. Secondly, as the authority has many aspects to take care of,
independent firms often concentrate on one to two field, which helps to bring more proper
results. For example, MCG, which is a medical company in Binh Duong, only concentrates on 2
particular fields that are researching and manufacturing new medicines, which makes it better
than other governmental companies in Vietnam.
In conclusion, it seems to me that private institutions are much better in conducting and
directing important research.
Evaluation Report
Word count
Comments

283

The candidate has presented relevant arguments. The
main ideas are organized well and explained coherently.
Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary
is adequate for the requirements of the task response.
Overall, the control of grammar and sentence structures is
good with only a few errors made.

© IELTS-Blog.com - All Rights Reserved ● Web:


Ticket Id: 141559
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Estimated Band Score
Suggestions

Helpful links

8.5
1. Pay a little more attention to grammatical accuracy.
2. Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
3. Keep up the good work!
Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here
IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here
Sample essays, letters and reports - click here
Learn vocabulary from this link />
www.ielts-blog.com
Note

Please make sure to go over the detailed comments we
marked for you in balloons on the right side of your task

text.
If you can't see the balloons, please change your Word
settings as follows:
1. Click View -> Print Layout in the main menu

2. Click View->Markup in the main menu.

© IELTS-Blog.com - All Rights Reserved ● Web:


Ticket Id: 141559
Thursday, April 13, 2017

You should now see comments appearing in balloons on the
right side:

© IELTS-Blog.com - All Rights Reserved ● Web: